May 5, 2021
Not hunger pain already at this time... I still have to fast for 5 hours, cmon body, dont do this to me.
Had a coffee and weighted myself after it, jm 59,85 again so maybe 59,7 for lunch time! Im waiting for my brother cake to be fully cooked (so proud that I didnt eat a single spoon of the mixture) and tjen I'll go out to thr post office and then the store because I forgot a couple of things for the cake decorations.
Came back home. Everyone at the post office were so kind and I cries when I went out because Im aleays so scared of the post office because a lady yelled at me one time just because I made the wrong ticket. I went to the store too and found what I was looking for, I hope this cake will turn out cool as it is jn my mind.
Im gonna eat only tomatoes and pickles for lunch so I'll feel less guilty for dinner 🍅
I feel like I can fast until this evening but my mom is at home so I cant :')
59,60kg , im gonna cry of happiness. Road to 59 for sunday (it will never happen lmaooo)
Nvm, I ate my tomatoes but my brothers friend came this morning with some pastries and holy shit I just checked the calories of the lightest one on the plate and they are so fucking high, I really wanted one but Im so scared and there is already the cake later...
I feel so miserable.
Binged on basically everything was around, it took me too much to finish the fucking cake so here I am, crying in the bathroom, with a big dinner to eat that I cannot avoid.
I had a panic attack while I was alone, at least I had a chance to cry out loud. I still feel shaky and like I can have another one in a moment, I told mom that Im feeling like this, so I hope if I cry she will not be bothered.
I just want to d1e.