I’m gonna put something out there in case anyone does (or doesn’t) do the same thing in order to validate your ED and prove that you’re not alone:
1) I don’t count calories anymore. I used to, but my parents started to suspect, so I stopped. I check how many there are in things that I know aren’t healthy, but not on every single thing I intake.
2) I rarely weight myself. This is mainly because it triggers my dysmorphia and spikes my anxiety. I do, however, have a measuring tape on me pretty much all the time.
3) I have a rule: Don’t eat anything if you can avoid it. Obviously, because I’m human, I sometimes break this rule. But I try to stick to it.
4) I don’t exercise. I have bad knees and that made me stop participating in EP class in 2016. So I have a hard time finding the energy or motivation to do any.
5) I’ve gained weight back, and it hurt. But I accepted it and tried to get back on track. That took a long time, like 5 months to be exact. But I finally feel like I’m doing it right again.
6) Finally, I don’t weight the food before I make anything. I just eat as little as possible without raising suspicion. And I came to the conclusion that eating a little everyday is better than fasting. Why? Because it slows my metabolism a lot and I feel terrible after I eat. So I eat a little to keep my digestive system going and try to keep it varied so it doesn’t get as bad (meaning I eat carbs, sugar, sometimes meat, etc)
Hope this helped someone. Please stay safe, and if you ever need to talk, I’m here. I love you <3