❄️ Winter Commissions are now open ❄️
More info: https://krovav-comms.carrd.co/
✉️ : firstname.lastname@example.org
[Reblogs always appreciated]
❄️ Winter Commissions are now open ❄️
More info: https://krovav-comms.carrd.co/
✉️ : email@example.com
[Reblogs always appreciated]
Barbas: "I can't believe you did this..."
Clavicus Vile: "It's not my fault! I mean, you practically begged me to do it by begging me not to do it."
Clavicus Vile: "In fact, mutt, I would like an apology. I am hurt. I am deeply hurt that you do not know me well enough to know that I would screw this up."
Brelyna: Are you ok?
Marcella, discombobulating into various animals and colors: yeah, i'm fine
I thought about not going in for my lesson.
My head was pounding and I did not believe I had the mental fortitude to face Luayl should he recall me. How could I face his anger? How could I face his feeling of betrayal?
I found little motivation to wake up, let alone rise from my bed. But the servants persisted in asking me about my schedule, likely at Cheerz’s request, until I could stand it no longer and came down for breakfast.
Sildras was already finishing and he gave me a big hug before rushing off to get ready for his lessons. I envy his energy.
I could hardly eat. My stomach was in knots, though I am uncertain if it were from a hangover or anxiety. I sipped at my wine, not able to stand the smell for long, but knowing it would help with the pain.
Of course, Avon came over and plucked the goblet from my hands and placed a cup of hot tea that smelled of bitter herbs. He assured me that it would help with the headache and stomach pain, though it would not be enough to rid me of the whole of the effects of my drinking because he thought I needed the reminder. Damn him.
The tea did help and when I went to slink back into bed, Avon reminded me that I should be feeling well enough to warrant returning to my own lessons and show myself a good example for Sildras.
I could do little more than grumble as he directed one of the servants to get me dressed.
Every outfit I tried made me feel stifled and hot or fat too loose to do anything in or too tight and as though it would cut off circulation.
Cheerz came in after a while to remind me that I would soon be late and then, upon hearing my complaints, found an outfit that she suggested would, if not entirely comfortable, would meet the majority of my requirements and leave me time to head out.
A carriage was awaiting me so I would not lose any time in my walking, though I partially suspect it was so I would not stop off at a tavern and miss my class.
My staff is far too clever. In any other circumstance I would be grateful. In this instance, however, it was unfortunate.
I was escorted to the dock and they waited until the ferry was out of sight.
I cannot pretend that a part of me did not wish to jump off the boat and swim off into the countryside, leaving all the potential trouble to come behind. But I could already see, in my mind’s eye, Mother’s scowling face as she came to lecture me on my responsibilities and the ways one gets removed from the House.
So I went to attend my lesson, very aware of the poisons I carried and just how easy it would be to kill myself before the lesson began.
Not that I would have done so seriously, or course, but it was a passing thought. That is the serious nature of my feelings in such a matter and how badly I wished to avoid meeting Luayl. I almost half hoped that he would be so offended if he discovered I was the one he taught, that he might decide not to continue at all.
Another part of me almost wished that he would come in the door, sweep me up in his arms, and make up for lost time. I had no doubt he would have only grown as a lover and I certainly had far more to offer myself.
I could not keep still as I waited.
I sat down to try and appear more relaxed. Then I stood, not able to sit still comfortable. Then, wanting not to appear too impatient, I sat down again.
This went on for a bit, all the while I could feel Luayl’s impending arrival. Every noise outside the door made me start, as though I was shocked by a stray bit of a light in spell.
Then I froze as I watched the doorknob turn. My breath held. Would he walk through the door? What would his reaction be to seeing me? Would he have figured out who I was? Would he hate me? Would he still love me? My hands were trembling as time seemed to have frozen in that moment just before the door finished opening enough to reveal who was on the other side.
I was Luayl.
I stared intently at his expression as he entered, looking for any sign of his mood. He was strangely inscrutable as he entered and set his satchel down on the desk at the front of the room.
Although I realized I had been holding my breath, I was loath to take another for fear of drawing his attention too soon.
Luayl called me forward formally, as was his custom, having me stand before him. There was something in his eyes that made me nervous. There was something there that seemed searching, scrutinizing my face and I stood there in silence, waiting for him to make the first move, whether it be to strike me or to kiss me. I was prepared for either.
He had me move into position for the breathing exercises and I found it hard to relax into the position fully with the lingering tension in the air.
I felt him come up behind me, waiting for him to possibly even take the opportunity to gut me once I was in a vulnerable position. I would have earned it, after all.
Instead his hands, in leather gloves, positioned my arms. Then I felt him lean in and I closed my eyes, waiting what seemed an agonizing amount of time before he spoke.
In a soft whisper into my ear he asked me if it was really me, calling me by my initiate name of Koht.
A shiver ran up my spine and I broke out into shalk skin as his voice called that all too familiar name.
I could only say that it was, calling him by his teaching name.
He spun me to face him and I opened my eyes as he seemed to hesitate about reaching out to me and I am sure that I looked back at him with an expression of full wanton desire.
Luayl pulled back, letting go of me and giving me a look once over. He told me I had grown. That I looked so much older.
I gave a nervous laugh and nervously smoothed back the streak of silver hair. It certainly did age me to have it, I told him.
He apologized for not having recognized me straight away. I told him it was fine, I had changed, after all.
He smiled and said that, indeed, I had. I told him that he looked just as I had remembered him and he laughed and said that he had changed, even if it did not appear so.
I felt suddenly very self-conscious of my made face and I grabbed out a handkerchief from my pouch and wiped away most of my made up face and he came up to look at me and smiled and told me he could see it now.
I shifted nervously, not sure yet what he was going to say.
He told me that I had certainly grown. And that he was surprised to have learned that I was an heir in the line of succession for the House.
I laughed again, unsure of what to say. Our identities had been kept secret all that time and even for as close as we got, the best he would have gleaned was that I was noble born. It was hardly unusual in intelligence to be born to such a class, though. Much more rare for someone in my position, though at the time I was obviously thought of as far further down the line and less likely to ever wind up in a position as high as I found myself in.
I decided that I should say something, but Luayl placed a hand on my shoulder and told me he had much he wished to say to me. That he would like if I could listen carefully until he was done.
I said that I would, of course. To be honest my nerves were just about frayed by this point, however, and I was unsure just how much more I could really take.
Then he got down on his knees before me and gave a full kowtow, his pinned up hair brushing the floor as he allowed his forehead to touch his fingertips.
As I began to protest, he asked me to let him speak and I shut my mouth. He delivered an overly formal apology for his behavior regarding our relationship while he was my mentor and teacher. He told me that he had acted immorally and that he regretted that he had not stopped things before a line was crossed. That it was his responsibility given our relative positions to let me know when boundaries were crossed and to have corrected such actions.
I wanted to stop him and try to explain that I had equal responsibility in what happened. That I had wanted it. That I had been the one to instigate it all.
But still he continued on, though he raised his head and sat back on his heels. He told me that he had bee caught up in the situation as I had clearly been as well. He had asked me to seduce him and I had done so. He had allowed himself to continue to indulge my talents in hopes to hone my craft, but ended up being caught up in feelings brought on by the situation and how good of a student I was. He gave me compliments about not only my skills, but my thoughtfulness as well.
Then the most painful thing happened.
With the most serene look on his face he told me that everything had meant nothing. That I had no reason to fear because it was just a meaningless moment of weakness on his part and underestimating how skilled I was. That none of it had meant anything. That his feelings, like mine, had been nothing but a mirage of the game we played. That once he was distant from the situation that those feelings had disappeared and so he knew it to simply be the situation of spending too much time practicing seduction of one another. That he had simply not been experienced enough to have handled the situation properly. But that he had learned otherwise now and that I had no reason to fear being under him again.
I felt emotionally eviscerated.
Luayl, who was the first mer I ever loved. Who I had sought to make mine shortly after he became my mentor. That I had let myself honestly love unlike most of the rest of my life.
Then I had the worst realization. Had I actually used my birthgift, even unknowingly, to make him feel things for me. To act in a way that would force him to spend the time with me or become more intimate? Had I taken away his will and ruined him for it?
I looked down at him, still prostrated before me and took his hands, pulling him to his feet.
But he continued to speak, unabated by my efforts. He told me that he hoped that the fall out of our inappropriate relationship had not ruined my chances at a proper career or diminished my opportunities.
This was a mer that lost nearly everything to me, while I was merely asked to take some courses on how to compartmentalize on the job and divorce my emotions for the job. And he was worried about how his actions had impacted me.
Was I so much more wrenched a person than I even knew?
Long have I lived with the guilt of his being stripped of his teaching and sent far away to do his field work. The one thing that kept me from wallowing, was the knowledge that it was a choice we had made together. We suffered the consequences of a love that we had bore one another.
Now I wonder if I was so overwhelmingly selfish in all of this.
It took everything to hold back my flood of emotions.
He asked me if my career had suffered and all I could do was to shake my head.
Then he wrapped me in a warm embrace and told me he was glad we could have this talk. That he knew that I had felt the same as he had.
I felt ill. Yet I smiled and agreed, even though I felt as though I had betrayed him even more than he knew and he was thanking me for it.
I could not tell him how I felt, not when he looked so at peace for having finally gotten to apologize. It was clear that he had finally gotten his life back together. I would be a total arse if I were to share how I really felt.
So I swallowed my feelings like a bitter pill and went through our lessons.
When it was over, I thanked him, and went home, completely numb as I had been throughout. All false smiles and hollow words.
I could not get out of the lesson soon enough. And I headed straight to the taverns afterwards.
Then from the tavern to the brothel.
I just needed to do what I could to purge all semblance of those romantic feelings from my body.
When I felt satisfied, I teleported home, got in bed, and went straight to sleep. I did not wish to see anyone. And when people came to call after me, I simply said nothing, pretending to sleep whenever anyone came into my chambers. I have no words for anyone right now. Not even Avon.
Just wasted 40 minutes of my life trying to make Pepe in Oblivion at 2 AM because i am epic funny and definitely mentally sound
problematic bachelors heights ‼️ in my heart lydia is a tall and beefy unstoppable woman, also love how kaidan’s character model is so much taller than literally everyone else
So I just finished the second Lucien quest and I have
Like I want to write some angst feelings with Sparrow and Lucien
*me trying to find a sponsor to get into Clockwork City*
*runs into Neramo* "Oh Gods, here we go."
*He mentions he knows Kireth and Raynor*
"Ah, Clockwork city should be burning within the week since all four of us are here."
*Divayth Fyr off in the background* "Excuse me, what?"
PLSSS U GUYS I WAS PLAYING SKYRIM YESTERDAY
im married to brelyna and we have two kids :)) and my mum saw and we havent really had the lgbtq+ talk yet, i dont think shes opposed to the lgbtq+ community tho
i think shed rather me not be lgbt? but shed support me anyway
and she’s casually like “oh so youre a lesbian in this game?” and i reply “yeah ig?”
and she just nods and goes back to folding clothes
pros of being a dragonborn: yell loud cons: everything else
The boys seeing miraak's tendrils for the first time(also gave him more of a bearish body :D)
Lucien is of course innocently being excited about how useful so many extra appendages would be, "you could hold so many tools and books all at the same time!"
Draan, Ildiir and Vhak are full of sinful thoughts. (Just like me lol) At least Draan and Vhak have the decency to feel some embarrassment.
Miraak wishes Lucien wasent the only one who is not a little deviant about it.
Oh and this is Vhak-kiinkosstin, I modelled him after Viktor from Arcane :3
Mara goddess of love and maternity
My templar Argonian OC from ESO.
His egg was abandoned at a temple for Stendarr in Cyrodil before far before Varen’s Rebellion. Stendarr’s priests, known for their mercy, took him in, hatching and raising him. He was born with luminous scales that shine like opal. Was it a blessing from Stendarr? Maybe. But due to him being born far from the Hist, he lacks the ears to hear it nor understand his eggkins. The imperials, other then the priests, see him as a barbaric savage. Although he is alienated from imperials and other Saxheels, he does not wallow in it nor grow bitter, instead he devotes his life and study to Stendarr, who granted him mercy. He learned the healing arts and set out to share the mercy and love he has been given. However, due to his nativity he falls prey to Mannimarco’s trap and his soul is taken from him. Realizing this made him feel as if his connection to the divine has been severed, the only one he felt could truly understand him. Desperately, he seeks to regain his soul, but along the way he meets new people of all shapes, size, color, views, and learn that maybe he’s not so alone.
His name is Most-Sultry-Argonian
Next fanfic that’s in the pipeline, star-crossed niner.
Or, “That Fic Based Off An Actual Skyrim Session Where I Accidentally Murdered Kharjo With A Fat Crit From My Stealth Archer Build”.
My first screenshot of Fennorian in ESO Enhanced for the Xbox Series X. 😍💕
So crisp. So sexy. So ✨clean✨.
25 days of tes cheer prompt 5: glow
As part of Rya and Gelebor’s restoration of the Inner Sanctum, fallen braziers are righted, and those whose meteoric glass has been lost to the ages are instead filled with gleamblossoms, which do the job just as well.
I found this gem while looking through my old writings.
pog gamer moment >:3