A new picture of Stiles bringing out his blue eyes, during a heartwretching scene of my latest chapter.
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When I was with my boyfriend, I always had a special “goodbye” catchphrase, I guess. Everytime he left me at home, talked and had to leave I said “Go away! …But not too far!”
The story of that catchphrase is behind my dependence mental problem. I always felt ashamed of it, and he knew. But, everytime I said those words, I was actually meaning “(Stay with me, and) Go away (idiot)! …But (please) not too far!
That was my way of letting him go home, a hard feeling to tell. I tried to think he wouldn’t leave me, and I believed him.“I need you, don’t leave me. Please, don’t leave yet, I can’t stand it. Don’t leave me alone!” were words from the past that made me bleed until I sank.
Today we took some distance, we broke up and it hurts, but not like before. Because he treated me right, and I wanted to give my best. So that catchphrase helped me:
It was my first step to move on and face the love I lack of. The start of thinking “I let him go home with no begging. I know he won’t leave.” I knew those words were like sweet and a pride to me, but I never knew. Now I know It was because I was fighting for a change. And I’m crying, but it’s okay. If I made that change is because I felt loved, and a good love.
I’m sorry if my English sucks, k. I needed to share this. I’m proud of this…
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Can anyone relate? I don’t think I have changed too much unfortunately…This is JulyDotComic 2.
1Loneliness is like a little bird at the foot of the tree…looking for its mum ….who cannot return….
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Chris Potter (Cross Currents Trio) @ Pancevo Jazz Festival
https://society6.com/product/the-move-of-the-saxophone_print?curator=nikolajelenkovic
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you ever wanna fuck the living shit out of someone but also really wanna cuddle and make sure they’re mentally stable? cause same
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But like with our minds. I hate being vulnerable and were both too stubborn to have a serious conversation.
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Currently feeling….. (me inside)
I’m going to open commissions and thinking of posting some rates tomorrow :> A lot of saddening moments happened recently due to this pandemic. So I really want to do something I’m passionate about and make a living out of it too. So kindly help me out to. Any likes, comment, reblog or sharing is appreciated!
Stay tuned for another update tomorrow!
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And we’re all just fighting to survive a world where „I love you“ doesn’t mean „I’ll stay“ and „I miss you“ doesn’t mean „I’m coming back“.
11If you ever find yourself thinking about me, just know that I’m thinking about you too.
- I always do.
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