#empathy Tumblr posts

  • “Progress not Perfection.”
    _______
    Compare yourself to no one and be the best version of you. Your story is yours to tell. Don’t hold onto shame or guilt or regret. Learn from the moments life has beaten you down. Minimize them in the future. Choose the right thing knowing how hard the wrong thing can hurt you. Look to the future with every decision. Love, in the end, is always the right answer.
    _______
    #DefyTheDarkness
    #NoOneFightsAlone
    #IAmAVoice
    #InvictusNation
    #InvictusTribe
    #love #empathy #kindness #struggling #tiktok #learn #progress #perfection #perspective #integrity #choice #choose #right #wrong #decide #loveyourself #lovemystory #loveyourstory (at Green Bay, Wisconsin)
    https://www.instagram.com/p/CFUhBaRnzxz/?igshid=1qz55n0dpy91r

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  • A phrase that people should ask themselves more often:

    “How would I feel, if this happened to me?”

    #Lynn's bitter thoughts #Mood#Empathy#Respect #Putting themselves into other people's shoes
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  • Today I’m going to talk specifically about someone using Google vs asking a question of other people.

    I am going to begin this by saying that emotional labor is an important thing and if someone asks you something/you see a question posted on social media and you don’t have the bandwidth to answer, then don’t. You have no obligation to explain anything. People in marginalized communities often get the brunt of these questions and can and should use the phrases “I don’t feel comfortable answering that,” "I cant have this conversation right now” or just straight up “No.” 

    That said. 

    Recently I saw a boomer woman post on facebook a question regarding a term specific to the trans community. She received three responses saying if she can post on Facebook, she can Google. She got defensive. It didn’t end well.

    Ok. So congrats, now shes never going to ask a question again. 

    I know what you’re saying (she’s too sensitivvvveeeeee, shes being fragilleeeee - well she’s also a human, with the human trait of wanting everyone to like us, of having rejection hardwired into her brain as a hard “nope,” and is likely dipping her toe into some unfamiliar waters. Am I condoning her fit? No. It was embarrassing. But I can see where she’s coming from, and I empathize - I have social anxiety, and if I were her, brand new to this, I wouldn’t have argued, no, but I would have just disengaged entirely, googled my questions like a good girl and then never speak up again - and likely would have missed out on genuine learning experiences and connections and threads to follow.)

    I’ll tell you why I think the “Google Exists” approach is problematic.

    1) Cultural differences regarding technology. I feel comfortable simply highlighting a term or phrase I don’t understand and running a Google search, but for many people, google is not muscle memory.

    2) Depending on how much prior knowledge you have, resources may be more confusing than helpful. There is an entire reddit called "explain like I’m five” where people post questions and a knowledgeable human literally puts complicated questions into simple terms and context. Its an extremely popular subreddit you’ve likely heard of, meaning there is a HUGE demand for this kind of thing.

    3) “You learn it better by looking it up and reading about it yourself!” Not everyone is neurotypical. For dyslexics, those who have little formal education, or people who struggle with the written word, I can assure you this is not the case. Also, if you’re that concerned, you can always just drop a link or rec a book instead of answering a question directly.

    4) Someone stepped out of their comfort zone to admit they don’t understand something and want to learn??? And you belittled them????

    5) ALLIES! this would have been your time to shine! Don’t leave the emotional labor to members of the community OP had a question about! In many cases, its likely OP doesn’t even have any friends in those circles!! Think about the bubble that poster may live in!! Do your ally duty and answer the basic question, and also link to resources so they can pursue it further! Again: You don’t have to give a masters thesis just drop a link for fucks sake.

    6) Some concepts are hard to put into words especially words that will generate a solid google result. If someones question is layered or abstract, they may have tried google already.

    So. If you see a social media post/comment asking a “simple” question and it *still* annoys you that they had to ask? Well, you can have an opinion all you want but keep your damn mouth shut and MOVE THE FUCK ON. If you cant say anything nice, don’t say anything at all. 

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    Some people would rather believe the abuser as they’re abusing them, than their victims 🤷‍♀️

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  • Hello fellow empaths! Please allow me to share some things that I have learned 💖✨🌱

    Sometimes we get flooded with negativity. One of the functions of an empath is to be a safe, healing space for others to work through the things that are too big to contemplate on their own. People seek us out and bare their souls, and that can be a beautiful, life affirming experience… But it can also be a relentless rain of sorrows. So here are the things that I’ve learned about managing empathy:


    1) Feed your spirit with positive empathy. I think we often end up forgetting how to do this as we grow up. Soak up the positive energy when your loved ones are happy; sharing doesn’t take joy away from them, it grows it. Watch YouTube videos of people who are deeply in touch with their emotions doing things they love. Read fluffy, tooth rotting fanfiction, or some hurt/comfort if you’re in a space where you need the ramp up.


    Empaths, we need soft, comforting moments of joyful empathy like we need food. You cannot feed your spirit only tragedy and then expect your life to be a comedy.


    2) boundaries. (I’m sure you’ve heard this one before.) Everyone has needs, and that includes you. Other people’s needs don’t make yours disappear. We fall into the habit of disregarding our own needs because there will ALWAYS be some greater need nearby, until you reach rock bottom. You do not have to bottom out. You will do more net good if you don’t. Sometimes you will have to say no, even when you really, really want to be there.

    The energy that we feed into our empathy is not endless. When we get into the habit of automatically overriding our own needs, our brains will try to optimize that process (that’s its job, after all,) and eventually it will just stop sending that info up to the conscious level. The big problem here is that it means that all your energy management is now done subconsciously, which is incredibly inefficient and leads to burnout-induced-cruelty.


    Please take time regularly to listen only to yourself. Deliberately show your brain that energy management needs conscious input.


    3) Emotional boundaries - ok, yeah, just another kind of boundaries, but this is really important. How much of your energy are you devoting to worrying in unproductive ways? Boundaries are not just knowing when you can’t physically be there for someone. They are also knowing when to step back from someone’s emotions.

    Sometimes people need us to grieve with them. In those moments we can just sink fully into the experience. We can sit and cry together. People need to process their emotions by feeling them fully, and when their emotions are bigger than their current capacity, it helps to have an empath to help carry the load as they let it out. When you fill this role, pay attention to how you leave the interaction.

    I highly recommend some kind of cord-cutting practice. This does not cut all of your connection to the other person, but only the energetic umbilical cord. Even if you don’t believe in subtle energy, visualizing cord cutting will help you to mentally step away from the situation; think of it like programming your brain to recognize the transitions better. The more you practice this the more efficient it will be.

    Sometimes people will need you to be able to cut the energy cord in the middle of an interaction. There are situations where people need you to harmonize with their distress so that you fully understand it, and then step back from it and handle reality for them. (This is an especially useful skill if you’re in the medical field.) What this means for us is that we need to understand ourselves both in and out of empath mode. We need to learn how to move between them in order to provide the best help to others.

    Pay attention especially to the way that you pour energy into your empathy unproductively. Are you draining yourself feeling bad about someone else’s circumstances? When you find yourself in this loop, please stop and ask yourself if there’s anything you can do to improve the situation. If you’ve done all you can for the time being, give yourself a new task: feed yourself joy so that when you CAN help, you are able to. Refill your energy and your empathy meter. (This goes back to #1.)


    ❤️The most important thing that I have learned in managing my empathy is that it must be done deliberately. I hope someone out there finds this helpful on their journey the way it has been for me. ❤️

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  • She found ways to cope, to tunnel her way out of herself, to climb down. Some people accept that they will never be free of their anxiety, they just learn to carry it. She tried to be one of them. She told herself that was why you should always be nice to other people, even idiots, because you never know how heavy their burden is. Over time she realized that deep down almost everyone asks themselves the same sort of questions: Am I good? Do I make anyone proud? Am I useful to society? Am I good at my job? Generous and considerate? A decent shag? Does anyone want me to be their friend? Have I been a good parent? Am I a good person? People want to be good. Deep down. Kind. The problem of course is that it isn’t always possible to be kind to idiots, because they’re idiots. That’s become a lifelong project for Nadia to grapple with, as it is for all of us.

    — Fredrik Backman, “Anxious People: A Novel” (Atria Books, September 8, 2020) 

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  • Like people saying that evil is a lack of empathy?

    Meanwhile a lot of us are said to “lack empathy”.

    And the worst atrocities of the past century involve favoring an in-group while persecuting or exterminating an out-group, almost as if people were relying on empathy and letting the limits of their empathy become the limits of their morality.

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  • That face! 🐽😍🥰😘🐷

    Reposted from @springfarmsanctuary

    Rudy is tired of social distancing from our feathered friends and is going chew his way through the wall dividing them 🐽😂

    🌿💖🐄🐖🐓🐎🐇🐐🐢🐅🦘🐑🦃🦡🐬🐘🦙🦛💖🌿

    #lovethis #howitshouldbe #newlife #freedom #rescued #pigs #happy #safe #respected #protected #loved #peaceful #adorable #sanctuary #animals #innocence #empathy #compassion #morality #ethics #decency #integrity #logic #conscience #farmanimals #familynotfood #someonenotsomething #animallovers #govegan #fortheanimals 🌿💖🐖💖🌿
    https://www.instagram.com/p/CFRtEGspKdQ/?igshid=3cgja28s8cqt

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  • Night time rambles with Ray Part 2: Why I am out late again, our fiance interactions, and my life long struggle with empathy

    [TW: mentions of Blood, ER, word “douche”]

    So I am up late this time because I was talking with our fiance since I have actually decided to give it a chance on being a little less uptight and business about shit with him - and he was having really bad digestive issues for the past week and not listening to Riku telling him to go to the doctor - and it turns out hey, there is blood in his stool now and continues three more times and wow, now it is an ER trip.

    I sound like a sarcastic asshole, but I was genuinely worried and got him to properly set up a plan to see someone and then his mom got up because the dog was keeping her up and sorted it out with a doctor who told him to go to the ER from the symptom list.

    Anyways, so as an alter, I struggle really hard with empathy and externally being compassionate. In the system I only have a mild issue, but to people out of the system, I have a particularly hard time empathizing and giving off a sense of care, concern, or just general friendly approach-ability. It is something I have been trying a decent amount to try to reconfigure, but I am - even at my best - considerably apathetic and anhedonic 

    My general struggle with this has gotten me a number of joke nicknames in the system like “Douche Canoe”, being the local Asshole TM, the old Grandpa TM, etc and as of today, I also get to be “Detective Douche” being a reference to Lucifer and honestly, I’m not even upset cause I recognize I can be very bad about it.

    Anyways, while our fiance and his mom were talking about the symptoms and how they are planning to go about getting in contact with a doctor and all that, I figured that sense everything as going smoothly, I was going to see if there was something to eat since I was honestly having 1 AM “munchies” and a bit bored and saw a banana and thought it would be a nice nighttime snack.

    According to our fiance, that move let him know it was still me when he was starting to wonder if Riku switched back or if I was doing a good impression (it was neither, I just really liked their cat). This is because 1) apparently the majority of the system either dislikes or hates bananas as their least favorite fruit and 2) apparently disappearing out of view and returning eating a fruit is apparently “such a stereotypical asshole move” used in TV shows. I looked it up and it is “The Snack is More Interesting” so I guess it really is.

    So I guess even when I am trying not to be an asshole and to put my full genuine attention and effort into helping a serious situation, my innate empathy levels makes me do stereotypical “asshole” moves.

    And my fiance wasn’t bothered because we had a plan and everything was going well and to be honest, struggling with empathy is something Riku struggles with and he is good at understanding the “concern / care shown through actions and effort” rather than a lot of more… traditional compassionate and care manners.

    -Ray (Gatekeeper)

    #alter: ray #I would probably ramble less if I had another good place to ramble #I mean I have my blog but then the hilarity of this situation would go underappreciated #empathy#empathy issues#low empathy#our fiance#fiance
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  • Drip

    Drip

    Dripping

    Goes the bleeding heart

    Aching for the wounded

    emotionally battered

    physically broken


    Be it friend, foe, neighbor, stranger

    The heart bleeds for those in need

    As woe begets woe

    And the masses get lost in their own turmoil

    The bleeding ❤ never sleeps. Loudest in the quiet inner moments

    Silently reaching out to the damned, the forgotten, the marginalized


    The gentle touch of a kind forgiving person

    Reaches out, for nothing in return

    But to aid in another’s despair

    Drip Drip Dripping

    To help carry the load

    Drip Drip Dripping

    To see that smile

    Drip Drip Dripping

    Set out to make your world a little bit brighter

    Bleeding the blood of the wounds of others

    Empathy, pure and true

    A bleeding heart for you

    ~K.A.H.T.

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    We sometimes forget about the little things.

    Life is beautiful! Take a moment and look at your surroundings. Cherish it!

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  • Wearing a mask is about protecting others, not just yourself.

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    This simple statement….spoke to me on so many levels. I needed to hear that.

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  • We demand empathy from others, but sometimes, we don’t realize that we fail to give it to those who need it.

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  • Self-destructive pure empathy - Will Graham

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    When you need someone & they don’t question it or doubt it. Those are the moments I cling onto.

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  • Friends. Loyalty. Justice. Truth. These are the things Hufflepuffs hold closest to their hearts.

    Things associated with Hufflepuffs: beautiful smiles. bright summer and spring days. picnics. honeybees. real, natural honey. vines. lemons. dragonflies. homemade jam and lemonade. gardening. putting lots of effort into everything. holding hands. pure white clouds. everything yellow. sunflowers. overalls. daisies. kittens. puppies. pretty much any baby animal.  angel wings. equality. outgoing nature. sweet tea. flower crowns. soft and oversized sweaters. handmade crafts. every. houseplant. ever. the sun’s rays beaming through the windows in the mornings and late evenings. light blue jeans. that one friend that waits for you while you tie your shoelaces. standing up for someone getting bullied because it’s the right thing to do. wearing friendship necklaces/bracelets. a love for history and herbology. always understanding and empathetic. chewed pencils. clumsiness. feeling confident about their outward appearance. telling someone if they think what they’re doing isn’t right. pinecones. never letting dark thoughts or influences affect them. floral dresses. sneakers. cake and, well, just about every sweet there is. braids. watching the sunset with the one they love most. old, worn, antique junk for collecting. “killing with kindness.” jumping in leaf piles. hide and go seek outside. bicycles. quiet giggling. being generally better with animals or plants than with people. rotting logs. being scared of monsters in youth (and secretly in adulthood). not getting mad at a friend when they mess up, but instead comforting them with a tight hug and whispering, “it’s okay.” good-natured fun. very protective of their loved ones. developing crushes on nearly anyone that is nice to them. dancing with their best friend/significant other. being genuinely happy when someone compliments them. a love for travel. being head boy/girl. painting their skin/clothes. the silver lining. dressing only in clothes they are comfortable in. sewing/knitting. black t-shirts, but every other clothing item is colorful. people often think them stupid, it’s just the opposite. forgetting to use magic sometimes (especially if half-blood/muggleborn). getting small tattoos of their loved ones’ names. “the golden rule.”

    some pictures I found: 

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