chapter 2 - lee heeseung
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who you want to be with
is entirely up to you.
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-✧ summary: it’s the first date out of all the seven dates that you did not look forward to, and it was your best friend, lee heeseung that was going to take you on your first one.
-✧ warnings: the cuteness might not be enough for you so prepare yourself i guess :3, a bit of angst, and some cursings.
-✧ words: 4,212
-✧ tagging: @chiefturtlebonkghost @rose-tea (i cant tag ur user for some reasons, sorry) @sunshineshouchan @ghjasksdk @ncityy04 @cha-raena @love13tter @rubyanne @yunapixie @youreverydayzebra @ellynabi @spacxmann @jungwon-luv-bot-pt3 @dear-dreamie
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“can you calm down for one sec-“
“nO I CAN’T CALM DOWN!” you wailed, dropping your head onto the pillow that you clutched onto tightly. “i can’t believe i got myself into this mess.”
soyoung sighed on the other line, “y/n i can’t hear you, your voice is muffled. speak up at least.”
you raised your head from the pillow, scowling at your phone that laid beside you on the bed. “gosh, you have to help me! please i-i don’t think i can handle this on my own.”
you arrived home earlier than usual. even your parents were surprised since they were expecting you to go off somewhere before heading home. with your bedroom door locked behind you, you screamed with your head buried on your pillow for a good ten minutes once you realize what you got yourself into.
and here you are, on the phone with your confused best friend.
“how the hell am i supposed to help you when i don’t even know what your problem is?” soyoung blurted out, the sound of cries could be heard faintly in the background. “sangkyu, hush for a second please.”
you quickly grabbed your phone, “sorry, i forgot you were supposed to be taking care of him. how about i’ll call you back later?”
“oh please,” soyoung let out a sigh of relief, “that would be very much appreciated. and don’t worry too much, will you? i’ll listen to whatever you have to say later, i promise.”
a smile formed on your face, “i know you will.”
as soon as you ended the call with ‘goodbyes’, you went back to screaming your head off, with the same pillow muffling out the noise.
“they what?!” soyoung shouted through the phone, making you flinch at her sudden change of tone. “y/n missy, you have a lot of explanation to do because i am so fucking confused right now, you have no idea.”
a chuckle came out of your lips, “well i’m just as confused as you.” you proceeded to lay your back on the bed, eyes staring right at the ceiling. “i don’t get why they like me. what’s there to like anyway? and i barely even talk to like, half of these guys. heeseung’s the only i’m really close to so i could understand him, but the others? i really don’t know.”
“you’re missing the whole point, y/n. sunghoon has feelings for you, are you gonna elaborate on that or do i have to make you get that right to your head?” your best friend muttered out and you swore you heard her curse at how lucky you were.
“and jungwon too, how lucky can you get for crying out loud!”
“oh god, soyoung, i could care less who the hell they are, i’m not liking the fact that seven guys are willing to go after me!” you cried out, “you know that guy i was sitting next to in class earlier? he’s one of them!”
soyoung bursted into laughter, “the one that you caught staring? yeah, i’m wondering what he saw in you too.”
you hear her burst into a fit of giggles on the other end making you scowl, “i’m kidding.” she laughed even harder when you mimicked what she was saying in a funnier tone.
“about that jake guy... i think i remember you talking about him last time,” you can hear soyoung closing a door behind her as she strut towards her bed. you didn’t realize how nervous you had gotten when she said that, “he’s the guy that always gave you an extra pen, right?”
clearing your throat, you nodded at her question, “yeah, he’s the one. although he’s like a few chairs behind me, i think he’s too generous to always let me borrow his things.”
“that’s because he likes you, you dumb fuck.”
“right, i almost forgot about that part.” you sarcastically replied, “and jay, and niki, god all of them! my head hurts just thinking about all this, i shouldn’t have agreed, damn it!”
soyoung sighed through the phone, shooting her younger brother a glare when he asked if he could eat some snacks. “well too bad, because you did agree to this and you’re gonna have to go through it.”
you groaned, sitting up from your bed, your shoulders falling into a slump. “i don’t have much of a choice, huh?”
“i mean, you did, like hours ago when they asked you,” your best friend smiled, “but since you said yes to whatever the hell they had in store for you, then no, you gotta stick with that you said, sorry to break that to you.”
“it’s fine, i-i got myself into this anyway.” you admitted, heat rushing up to your cheeks when you remembered how confident you were when the boys were right in front of you earlier.
all that confidence was long gone now.
silence filled the air for a moment, only your breathing could be heard as you waited for whatever soyoung had to say.
you should’ve known what she was about to say next would help, even a bit, with your mood today.
“if you don’t mind and you know how giddy i can get with this type of stuff, wanna know what i think for each of them?”
“and i can tell you my thoughts too?”
“oh you already know i’m all ears for that! lets hear how good your taste in boys is and i’ll be your judge.”
you hid your face with the book you were holding as you quickly walk to your classroom, with soyoung trying to catch up to you.
“y/n, wait up! you’re not a trackstar-”
your eyes widened when she called your name, sending a glare her way, “yOU LITTLE- don’t call me out like that!”
soyoung laughed at your reaction once she realized why you were in such a hurry, tilting her head to the side to tell you that the group of boys you were trying so hard to avoid were now aware of your presence.
“fuck you seriously!” you whisper-shouted at her, no longer caring if they saw you or not. you strut towards your best friend and grabbed her by the ear, earning a loud yelp from her as you walked towards your classroom.
with soyoung crying out for help and at the same time, laughing at your face that was starting to turn a bright shade of red, you didn’t miss the obvious laughter coming from the boys you passed by earlier.
“i thought you were gonna help me avoid them but you’re not even helping me one bit!” you cried out, slapping soyoung on her shoulder when the two of you finally arrived at the door of your classroom.
the girl groaned at your action but laughed it off afterwards, “i’m sorry! i didn’t mean to catch their attention like that, and besides, you were acting like someone was chasing after you, i was just tryna catch up!”
a scoff came out from your lips as you pushed her inside the classroom, soyoung still laughing about what happened moments ago.
the two of you walked towards your usual seats, you breathing out a sigh of relief once you finally sat down.
“i can’t believe they were just standing by the lockers like that, it’s as if they had something planned for someone.”
“shut it!” you hissed at soyoung, making her giggle at how fast you reacted to what she said. “what? i didn’t mention anything about you.”
“oh you damn well know what you were saying and i suggest you stop.” you blurted out, folding your arms and blowing the strands of hair that covered your face. “i don’t know if i can do this..”
soyoung finally stopped teasing you, her expression turning serious when she noticed the way you’re acting, “you’ll be fine, okay? we already talked about this last night. and it’s only heeseung for later anyway, you can worry about the other guys after your date with him.”
“that’s why i’m terrified!” your voice was a bit too loud when you said that, catching everyone else’s attention in the room. you muttered out a quick apology before turning back to your friend.
“not only am i worrying for the others, i’m worried for the date with heeseung too! it’s not gonna be like any other hangout we did before and you know that, soyoung.” you explained, you sounded desperate at this point. “this time, i’m aware that he has feelings for me, and i can’t just ignore that. i can’t see him the same way after that-“
“why are you so worried about that? it’s not like you’re going to pick him.” soyoung cut you off, you suddenly froze at her words. it’s not like you were going to pick your childhood friend?
your mouth hung open at the sudden accusation, “i- wha- why would you even assume-“
your words were cut short when a teacher suddenly entered the room, five familiar boys helping her with the tv equipment right behind her.
“well, i guess that means we’re watching a movie. again.” you hear soyoung mutter under her breath, you finally turn to the front to acknowledge your teacher’s presence.
after all of you stood up from your chairs and greeting your teacher a good morning, you sat back down with soyoung quickly tapping your shoulder with her finger.
“what is it?”
“don’t look now but i see jungwon and jake are making heart eyes at you.” soyoung replied, shooting a smile at their direction as you turned your head.
she was right, they were staring at you and it looked they had been talking about you too. once they notice that you caught them, they quickly looked away and continued to help the teacher setting up the television.
you sighed, looking back at soyoung, “i just need to endure seven days, right?”
“seven days, and add one or two more for you to do some thinking.” she stated, “well, if you’re planning on choosing anyway.”
“i guess i’ll try.”
the bell finally rang, erupting a chorus of cheers and “YES!”es from your classmates. you’d be happy about finally not having to watch the boring movie your teacher played anymore too but you remembered that you weren’t going to be following your usual routine after classes.
your heart jumped when you remembered it was your best friend accompanying you for the day.
“gotta go, i need to buy lunch for sangkyu and i.” soyoung mumbled out, stuffing her bag with the books she took out that she used as a pillow to sleep while the movie played earlier.
“you’re not even gonna go with me to my locker?” you whined, soyoung raising an eyebrow at your words. “who am i, your babysitter? you can do that on your own, and heeseung’s gonna go with you anyway.”
you were about to ask her how she knew that when a knock from the door stopped you from doing so, all heads in the classroom turned to the front to see who it was.
soyoung was not wrong.
heeseung smiled at the attention he got and leaned his shoulder on the side of the door, “sorry for intruding but i’m here for y/n.”
you closed your eyes, aware at the number of looks and snickers you received from your classmates. cussing under your breath, you grabbed your bag and books from your desk.
soyoung pouted, “aww, not even gonna say goodbye to your favorite girl?”
you pursed your lips at her, receiving a teasing smile from the girl. you walked towards the door, ignoring the stares from your five classmates that had taken a liking in you.
you stopped on your tracks and turned to soyoung, shooting her a smirk, “farewell to my dear friend who won’t stop talking about our beloved class president and the ice prince that represents our school. have a great day, bestie!”
“oH YOU DID NOT JUST-“ soyoung stood up from her chair, your classmates bursting into laughter when they realize who the two boys your best friend gushed over you were talking about.
heeseung laughed as well, turning to jungwon who was oblivious to who you were describing because he was too busy looking at you when you were talking duh. “ready to go?”
you grabbed heeseung’s hand, taking him away from the classroom and towards the lockers’ room. you quickly shoved your books inside your locker, closing it shut once you were done.
“yep, i’m ready now.” you grinned, you could feel how fast your heart was beating in your chest but you ignored it. “so where are we off to?”
after you and heeseung went to your favorite fastfood restaurant to buy lunch as takeout, the both of you walked to a destination that you had absolutely no idea where it was.
“you know, i could’ve guessed this was what you were going to do. you never forget to buy me my favorite takeaway.” you turned to your best friend who smiled at your words.
“well, we’ve known each other for years now so of course, i had to. i know too much about you so i used it to my advantage.” heeseung smiled, pushing his bangs back and you swore you felt your heart skip a beat.
the rest of the walk was filled with comfortable silence, it had always been like that with him. you weren’t complaining though, that was more than enough to let you know that the both of you had always enjoyed each others’ presence, whether the two of you had so much or little to talk about.
you broke the silence with a sigh, “right, you haven’t answered my question. where exactly are we going?”
not noticing that heeseung had stopped walking, you continued to do so, taking in your surroundings. when you realized that he was no longer beside you, you stopped and turned around to see him stare at you.
“what? is something wrong?”
heeseung let out a chuckle, biting his bottom lip in the process. you felt your breath hitch at the sight, god it was the bare minimum but the action drove you insane. “hee-“
“sorry, i thought you would’ve known by now.” he replied, going towards you and gestured for you to continue walking.
your mouth opened to say something but your words weren’t clear, “o-oh, was i suppose to know where we’re going? i’m a horrible friend omg, i’m sorry-“
“it’s okay, y/n. it’s been a while since we’ve been there anyway so i could understand.” he talked you out of it, but you swore you could feel a bit of pain in his voice when he said that.
“no, no, no.. it’s not okay!” your sudden change of tone caught heeseung in surprise, “look, i apologize that we haven’t been hanging out that much, i guess it’s my fault for that since i’ve been with soyoung for a while.”
you took a deep breath before continuing, “i’ll... i’ll make it up to you, in any way, if you just let me know where we’re going.”
“you’ve changed.” he blurted out, you stared at him in surprise. “uhm, that was out of nowhere, care to explain?”
“i mean that in a good way.” heeseung added, immediately closing his mouth and contemplating on what he said. “you were always the quiet type, you weren’t always open with your thoughts, not that there was something wrong with that, you just... matured a lot. and i’m really happy about that.”
you smiled, taking what he said as a compliment, “thank you, so are you going to tell me where we’re headed?”
your best friend laughed at how fast you changed the topic, he nodded and turned to the front. “that area under the tree.”
you looked towards the direction heeseung pointed out, noticing the tree that was beside a playground. there were little children playing, in the swings, the slide, and the trampoline.
a feeling of deja vu rushed through your veins, the wind coming from the front adding a dramatic effect to what you felt, a few blurred memories of the place in front of you played in the back of your mind.
“you feel it too?” heeseung’s voice snapped you back to reality, “yeah... it feels strangely familiar.”
“this was where we first met, you were five years-old and i was seven.” he explained, sitting down down on grass when the two of you finally reached the shaded area under the tree. you sat down next to him, placing your food down and laying it out in front of you.
you chuckled, “i sometimes forget that you’re two years older than me, it feels like we’re just the same age.”
“i get that,” he nods his head in agreement, “uh.. and i had come up to you to ask if you wanted to play with me, as childish as you were, you said yes.”
“i probably found you cute, maybe that’s why.” you muttered to yourself, not noticing the way heeseung’s eyes widen and his cheeks redden at your statement.
he pretended not to hear what you said and cleared his throat, “and that’s when we started to play with each other more. hell even our parents planned playdates for the both of us, and as we grew older, we...”
a small smile played on your lips, “i wouldn’t say we distanced ourselves from each other if that’s what you’re trying to say.” you found yourself fidgeting with your fingers.
heeseung listened to you intently, taking out the food you bought and laying it out in front of the both of you. “i hope you don’t think i’m trying to excuse the fact that i haven’t been with you for a while. i just, fuck.. i don’t even know anymore, all i can say for now is that i’m sorry.”
“i told you already, you’re not the only one at fault here.” he replied, “i should say sorry to you since i must’ve put you in a difficult position when we made that deal.”
“well i agreed to it anyway so you’re not exactly the only one wrong here.” you turned your head to him, his eyes meeting yours, “and are you implying that you’re the one who thought of this whole date thing?”
heeseung shook his head, “actually, no, sorry for giving you the wrong idea.”
you shrugged your shoulders, taking out the cup of ramen you bought earlier, grabbing the pair of chopsticks that came with it and starting to eat. “it’s okay, but hey, i’m just happy we finally got to sort out all this..”
“actually, we’re not finished yet.” heeseung opened his cup of ramen and blew it to soothe down how hot it was, “are you not going to ask me how i developed feelings for you?”
you choked on the ramen you were eating when you let his words register in your brain, coughing as you quickly grabbed the bottle of water you brought and gulping down a huge amount to help you calm down. “o-oh, maybe that was a bit too straight to the point...”
heeseung rubbed your back with one hand as you continued drinking your water, finally letting out a loud gasp, wiping the excess liquid from your mouth with the back of your hand. “i’m fine, sorry about that, i was just taken back.”
silence filled the air once again, but anyone that passed by could tell that both of your hearts weren’t as silent as the air between the two of you.
instead, they were beating out loud, so loud that even you were terrified that heeseung could hear it about to make its way out of your chest.
“right, so- uh.. when? or how?” you asked, feeling slightly embarrassed that you were stuttering in front of him. the two of you had known each other for so long so you stuttering out of nowhere could give him the wrong idea.
are you sure you’re wrong though?
“that time when both of our families went for a vacation in jeju island.” heeseung replied, making you look at him wide-eyes, “that was when i realized it, when we looked at the sunset.”
a memory of you suggesting to look at the sunset together replayed in your mind, the place was not so crowded at the time and it felt like it was only the two of you when it happened.
“i remember you talking about a certain guy you took a liking to in your class at that time, so i couldn’t really say anything but listen to you,” heeseung added, smiling sadly at his words, “do you still like him?”
oh god, him.
you could not believe heeseung remembered you talking about another guy in your class when he had liked you too.
“oh him, uhm...” you started, how exactly were you going to explain this? “it was just a little crush, not that big of a deal, and i-i don’t think i like him anymore, seriously.”
heeseung raised an eyebrow, “i’m guessing you’re still in the same class with him today?”
you couldn’t lie to him so you nodded, “yeah... but i’ve never really gotten the chance to talk to him properly though..”
“did i ever tell you his name?”
“you never mentioned a name so i was guessing it was one of the new students since i don’t think you’d like someone you’ve been in a class with for years.” he answered, “that was like two years ago, do you happen to know who he is now?”
you pursed your lips at that, you didn’t know how to answer that question. heeseung noticed how quiet you got so he let out a soft chuckle, “hey, i’m not forcing you to answer that. you can keep it to yourself.”
you felt relieved, that he wasn’t demanding an answer, yet you couldn’t help but feel the guilt engulfing you whole when you decided not to say anything.
you decided to quickly change the topic, “right, i’m a bit of a nervous wreck to ask you this but i’ll let it out anyway since it’s been bugging me since all this started.”
heeseung let out a hum at that, “okay, what is it?”
“why me?” you asked immediately, you were sure he could hear your desperate tone. “as far as i know, i never thought you’d be the type to like someone like me. is it because i was always with you ever since we were kids, is it when i decided to clung onto you when we went to school together, or is it-“
“it’s because you’re just being you, y/n.” he cut you off, catching you off-guard. “you’re right, you were always there for me when i needed you the most. i sometimes felt as if i don’t deserve having you by my side because of the amount of times you stuck with me, and you made me realize that it’s okay to be myself because i’m with you.”
“this is probably so cliché and i’d like to apologize for that, but you made me feel something so... i don’t know how to describe it but it drives me insane, you drive me insane, and i like how you’re making me feel.” heeseung continued, his eyes locking with yours, “i don’t know if you’ll ever feel the same way since there’s still six other guys who feel the same way as i do to you but for some reasons, i think i feel something way deeper than them.”
“if there was ever another, an even better or bigger word than love, then i’d probably use that to describe how i feel about you.”
you were at loss for words at what he said, you could feel your eyes watering a bit but you held back. it was too early, too early to feel this way and make a decision.
you still had six more days.
“if ever you don’t choose me, i’d understand, you don’t have to worry about me.” heeseung grabbed one of your hands and held it tightly against his chest, “please don’t feel pity for me, god please don’t choose me just because you feel as if you have to or because i’m your best friend and you’ve known me the longest. think about how the other guys would feel too, and how they would make you feel.”
“promise me that, okay?” he asked, his tone softer than before, placing a quick peck on your forehead and laying his forehead on yours. “promise me you won’t think about me, just think about yourself, yeah?”
you didn’t say anything, you just shut your eyes and grasp his hand tightly in yours. you didn’t want to think about anything else, just you and heeseung, that was all you wanted to think about.
you and heeseung, that sounded so right.
this was only the first date but you were already feeling a rollercoaster of emotions, you didn’t know if you could survive another six days of pure love or torture.
you’ll just have to go along for the ride.
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you have finished chapter 2!
i just wanted to apologize for not updating! i don’t really have an excuse for that except for the fact that i’ve been taking good care of myself nowadays, but still, i’m really sorry that chapter two took so long! believe it or not, i started writing this a couple of weeks ago, it wasn’t even halfway and i just finished writing this now and it’s currently 12am as i’m typing this so i’ll be heading to bed soon :’) i really appreciate your patience and don’t worry, i’ll be updating more frequently now and you won’t have to wait another month or two for an update dhdjsnx, expect the next one days or a week from now so i hope you’re excited! i also wasn’t expecting for this chapter to be so long so do enjoy reading! i love you all so much and thank you again! <3