I don't remember my own name, so CR-S01 is fine with me
YAY I FINALLY GOT TO COSPLAY ONE OF MH BIGGEST HYPERFIXATIONS!!!!!!
Poster design done for the 11th Anniversary of Trauma Team! Featuring the whole team! ;) If you’d like to snag a printed copy, head on over to my red bubble: https://www.redbubble.com/shop/ap/78526794?asc=u
Happy 11th anniversary to Trauma Team! Here's CRS-01, because I still love this game.
New poster design is gonna drop on my Red Bubble on the 18th for the Trauma Team anniversary. ;) Till then, a little preview.
...and it’s actually kinda good? who would have thought
You’ve never been able to entirely figure her out. She’s always moving, always running, as if she’s a shark forced into a too-small tank, always restless, always antsy and acting as though if she lingers for a second longer the entire world is going to end.
You wake up to see her gone one night out of three, collapsed on the porch or on the couch staring at a glass bottle in her hands, and she never knows why no matter how many times you ask. She throws herself headfirst into every conflict she can, but the second they’re resolved she almost wants another one, because she’s terrified to be alone with herself for any longer than a few minutes.
She thinks you don’t know. You do. You’re learning quickly how to pick up on people, pick up on her, because you’ve always been a quick learner. You’re quiet, too, and she almost never sees you when you stumble across her on another one of her moments. You should tell her, but you can’t even begin to think of how.
A contradiction. That’s a good word for her. She’s stubbornly independent, always by herself when she can be, but then she’s coming back to you because she was alone for too long. It’s almost a cycle. You’re thankfully good at pattern recognition.
Everything chews her up, in ways that you can’t even begin to describe. She slams doors and punches walls and throws things every time she thinks no one is looking, like there’s a ghost chasing her with every step she takes. She’s bright, but she’s too bright sometimes, and like a candle, you think that brightness is going to kill her someday. She has days where she’d set herself on fire in an instant just to make people look at her.
There are things she’s had to do years ago, and they come through every time she’s looked at in a certain way, and when she smells cigarette smoke she looks like she’s about to vomit. You always have to ask for permission, even when she snorts and says that you don’t, because you never want your hands to be theirs, the people who lied and said that they loved her, that treated her like nothing more than a toy. You don’t understand that. She’s your life. She’s absolutely everything to you.
You’re terrible at understanding people, and you always have been, but you know that much. You save people, and you hope earnestly that you’ll be able to save her someday.
You really don’t get him sometimes. He’s too damn nice, and you know it sounds terrible, but you’ve never met someone who’s that selfless without wanting something in return. You used to think that about him, too, but the more of him you saw, you realized that he doesn’t even have that capacity.
It sounds like something out of some shitty movie, but he’s so much to you, and it makes you feel like you’re being stabbed when you remember that to everyone else he was nothing. He still acts like it, cutting off any piece that he thinks won’t be good for someone else, staying away from the center of the room, treating himself like he’s nothing more than an object. He thinks he’s a tool for the benefit of others, and you hate it, and you want to smack the fact that he’s not into his head, but you can’t.
No matter how much you cry and scream and punch walls until your hands bleed, it never changes. He never sees anything wrong with it, acting like it’s just a fact. He never gives up on the patients, but he’s already given up on himself, and some part of him thinks that if he gives away enough of himself, destroys himself in a certain way, he’ll finally be worth something.
He’s smart, too smart for this. He knows so much, but he can’t wrap his head around the fact that you care about him more than you can ever express. He questions why every single second of every day. Why you’re still with him like this. Why you got with him in the first place. He acts like it’s a burden, like he forced you to like him. He bleeds kindness and sincerity like it’s nothing, and you know that if he ever thought you’d want it, he’d bleed himself dry.
And it makes you furious. God, sometimes you wish you could resurrect the dead, because you’d kill them again without a second thought. You have to watch him hyperventilate on the bathroom floor, and flinch every time you touch him in the wrong way, and cut himself into bloody pieces over and over again for everyone else. And you know why, because he pulled back his skin and exposed his heart for you far too easily.
It’s hard, realizing that you can’t fix him, you don’t know how. He’s got a fucking laundry list of issues, none of which you have any idea how to help, and it sometimes feels like all of your efforts are the single coin in a huge and empty vault.
But when you catch him smiling, you realize that you’re still doing something.
trauma team was ahead of its time with girlboss/malewife rep in 2010
love wins <3
"I was the first. I am the Protoman."
Revamped designs for Derek and CR in my little Megaman AU.
I can explain...? Kind of... It’s not that it’s complicated it’s... just... ridiculous. Completely and unapologetically ridiculous.
Bottom line: Gabe being a dad and getting into shenanigans ala OctoDad.
He is, indeed, a very long boy
BONUS TO PREVIOUS POST: SPEED OF HELL
S P E E N