I can tell you’re scared. You won’t admit it, it’s a guy thing, you proclaim full control, defensive. You need that lie to yourself to not lose all grip, or the fear will crumble you.
It’s a part of who you are, always planned, scheduled. Organized, even in your emotional efforts. Or so you tell yourself.
I don’t even need to ask or acquire it confirmed to know. I’ve seen it before. My biggest mistake in love has always been not to act on the signs, and expect clarity as if love was rational and make sense. It does not. Love is scary, irrational. You risk parts of yourself, so vulnerable, so fragile, and let a person in to see you so deeply, that it cuts you open when the gap is left bare. If I had not had close and heartwrenching experience with this type of fright, this terrorizing sensation of opening up without daring to, letting yourself bare without trusting the consequences, the subtle signs would be easy to miss. As a lawyer, you are trained in the art of convincing and assurance, to a point where you may even uintentionally convince yourself.
But I don’t overlook anymore. I don’t ignore, and I remember. Small things, like how me calling once a week when I wanted to hear from you, now has you calling after work because you want to talk with me about my day. Calls, being hard to put down and not pick up, because you make me smile, and I remind you of the curiousity in this world that you often overlook. I adore your attention to detail, and the small fragments of yourself that you don’t show much of, because they make you insecure. From you being nervous over our relationship status and obsessing at home, because we have been dating for two months and it feels real, to teasing me about my embarassing reactions to movies we watch together.
It frustrates me that you are so in war with yourself - not wanting to let me go, but scared to let yourself go with me. But I’m finding us a way. One kiss and one step with you at a time.
What will be will be 🦋Follow @the_perils_of_limbo for more!
And now he makes me insecure again.
felix’s voice in god’s menu…
Mis sentimientos hacia ti es muy grande, no lo rompas porfavor…
No te vayas sin decirme el “Por que”…
Alejarte de la noche a la mañana…
Si llegas a irte dime con anticipación…
Por que no quiero estar prepara cuando pase…
Eres como un mar dentro de mi, ilusiones…
Te entregue mi corazón por que sentí que lo merecías…
Hiciste de mi alguien que ni yo puedo descubrir…
Un sentimiento sincero lleno de amor hacia ti…
I ride the emerald waves
free as the wind blowing past.
Touched by rays of hope;
the warmth bringing more than just heat
Adrenaline is the only thing pumping through me
making me more alive than the day I was born
eyes wide, breathing in everything
almost as if it were the first time
disbelieving and without fear
mind spinning through those waves
unstoppable and floating high.
Lost in the seas
but not drowning.
Watching the rainbow sunset
as its glory fades
to a black canvas
with lights guiding all over
comets and rockets
Bursts of faith…
Faith, that there is beauty and so much more
Just feel it
ppl i know more than 2 years are totally stranger to me
a cigaratte would be good right now.
I even told you I don’t like you in that way. But why are u still on my mind?
You know that really weird feeling where you’re really empathetic as a person but you also feel the urge to laugh at the suffering of others? Not major things, obviously. Just inconveniences and stuff and all sorts of other things.
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This is kind of mean but I’m going to say it anyway. My “Karen” is likely to be livid as our down stairs neighbor is blaring EDM - Indian style music at 11 AM on a school day.
Background: She has 5 + kids doing home study and is always stuck inside with covid lifestyle. I think this is party why she goes nuts and yells at everyone and starts problems (though she was like this before covid so…). Really, the girl just needs an afternoon to herself with a face mask, comedy show, wine and chocolate ice-cream.
I’m particularly amused that this most likely will annoy her as she has been pressing down on my nerves like a elephant stepping on a blade of grass, but also kinda feel for her. I’m also kinda feeling this music though.
I might go hang out with him and that dance party he must having. I’ve been meaning to drop off some cupcakes I made. But I probably won’t as he is probably actually exercising and I don’t feel that motivated.
I might just pray for us all instead. #sedentary