Setelah jam kerjaku selesai, sebuah video melintas di timeline Youtube-ku.
Molly Wright: How every child can thrive by five
Dalam video itu, seorang anak perempuan bernama Molly menyampaikan bahwa permianan peek-a-boo dapat mengubah dunia. Tentang hal bermakna yang dapat orang dewasa lakukan untuk membentuk anak-anak dan manusia dewasa di masa depan sedini dan sesering mungkin. Mengenai fakta bahwa lima tahun pertama seorang manusia—termasuk dalam kandungan—adalah lima tahun terpenting yang membentuk manusia itu kedepannya.
Video itu juga memperlihatkan eksperiment seorang anak balita yang sangat aktif dan bahagia ketika orang dewasa di sekitarnya memperhatikannya, mengajaknya bermain dan berbicara. Lalu ketika orang dewasa itu tidak memperhatikannya, balita itu akan berusaha mendapat perhatian si orang dewasa dan mulai merengek ketika tak dianggap.
Dengan sudut pandang seorang anak Molly mengatakan bahwa, "Our brains develop faster in our early years than at any other time in our lives. It can create up to one million neural connections every second. But we need your help."
Sepanjang menonton video itu, banyak emosi yang kurasakan. Takjub rasanya melihat gadis kecil berusia tujuh tahun bisa berbicara di hadapan banyak orang dan membahas hal yang begitu bermakna. Karena aku pada usianya, tak akan mampu melakukan semua itu.
Aku harap video itu bisa dilihat banyak orang dan benar-benar bisa mengubah dunia. Sebab, ada beberapa pengalamanku sebagai seorang anak yang kuharap tak akan pernah terjadi pada anak-anak lainnya atau anakku kelak di masa depan.
Ya, aku memang belum pernah menjadi orang tua dan tak paham bagaimana rasanya menjadi orang tua. Namun setidaknya, aku memiliki pengalaman menjadi seorang anak yang kuharap bisa menjadi pengalaman terbaik ketika aku menjadi orang tua.
“When someone’s been gone a long time, at first you save up all the things you wanted to tell them. You try to keep track of everything in your head. But it’s like trying to hold on to a fistful of sand: all the little bits slip out of your hands and then you’re just clutching air and grit. That’s why you can’t save it all up like that. Because by the time you finally see each other, you’re catching up only on the big things, because it’s too much bother to tell about the little things. Now everything feels like you had to be there and oh never mind, I guess it’s not that funny.”
Procrastination is going to be the death of me, honestly. I haven't finished my outline yet and I feel stuck on where to go with it. I think the problem might be that I'm getting in my head about what genre I need the story to fit rather than just letting the story decide for itself. Once I can get past this mental block I think the outlining will go a lot smoother. Anyway, here's act three's beats, according to Save the Cat:
13. BREAK INTO 3 (80%): The “aha!” moment. The hero realizes what they must do to not only fix all of the problems created in Act 2, but more important, fix themselves. The arc is nearly complete.
14. FINALE (80% TO 99%): The hero proves they have truly learned the theme and enacts the plan they came up with in the Break Into 3. Bad guys are destroyed, flaws are conquered, lovers are reunited. Not only is the hero’s world saved, but it’s a better place than it was before.
15. FINAL IMAGE (99% TO 100%): A mirror to the Opening Image, this is the “after” snapshot of who the hero is after going through this epic and satisfying transformation.
My Successes: I'm not gonna claim any success for today, besides an extreme amount of sleep. I feel wonderfully rested, so I guess that counts 😅
My Struggles: Forever the outline. I think if I win Nanowrimo this year, I might use my discount to give Plottr a go, see if that helps me any. Of course, it doesn't help that my mind is forever constantly working on fanfiction ideas, which I'm forcing to the back burner until December.
Do I just write as if I’m speaking to you. It always feels like I am. Even when I just piece my words together it feels like you hear me even in my mind. Which maybe begs the question as to why I feel the need to write, but I guess for me. It gets it out of my body. And sometimes I need to re read it. Sometimes I just need to know what it looks like. To organize. To analyze, To be able to come back to a place and look at it, see it, feel it, expand on it. A place where its not forgotten. Where its fresh, and raw, and real.
It always forms as dialogue within in my own mind, so I guess that’s how I’ll frame it coming out.
Do you see me as vividly as I see you? Do you hear me as loudly as I hear you? If that’s the case, why the silence? Are you hoping it’ll make it less intense? Are you overwhelmed?
If you are overwhelmed I apologize. I know I’ve come on real hard lately. And not in a way we are used to dealing with. Not a way you are used to experiencing. Where there is legitimate movement in my life as to where I am going, and how I’m going to be.
THERES THESE SONGS.
Minefields (Acoustic)- Man, if this isn’t you speaking to me. There are so many of these songs lately. I’ve been sending them to you, telling you I hear you. I guess I won’t be doing that either. I listen to this repeatedly. And it never gets less intense for me. It’s like your soul is poured all over this song. And for the song to be as epic as it is just drives it so far. I can feel the pain and the grief and the longing you feel as their voices push. As the song builds. As every time you try to get close to me, you walk through a field of mines treading so carefully, taking the risk, and hoping that you don’t blow up.
You should be sad (Acoustic) - Halsey. This one came on as I was writing this, and it just keeps hitting so hard. How much I feel this. How much it hits the truth of my feelings . Its obviously isn’t 100% but there are so many things that force the truth of me into the forefront. Where it evokes things I can’t deny. THERES LEGITIMATELY A LINE IN THE SAYS GOTTA JOT IT DOWN AND GET IT OUT AND THEN ILL BE ON MY WAY. AUGH, IF THATS NOT MY REAL LIFE. And you have no idea.
Will you ever see these? Will you ever know this exists? That I will be writing to you for the rest of my days. That this will have it all. That I’m scribing it all. All my feelings, all my signs, our signs. Our path. Will we ever intersect again to the point where I would share this with you?
There is a part of me that would want to, but I also know how easily you leave, and I would regret showing you without proof of investment in our energy.
Will this ever stop? Will I be writing this a year from now? Two years? Five? Ten?
Whatever you are, I am also. I don’t need to tell you who you are to me anymore. There’s a decade of proof. I am both so lucky and so tortured by the fact that this exists with someone I will not share this lifetime with.
So incredibly tragic, and yet immensely beautiful.
Summary: After a string of troubled ex’s and bad dates, Y/N is frustrated, wanting something with no strings attached for a while. She turns to her best friend Dean and they find themselves in a friends with benefits arrangement. However, Dean has a secret. He’s been in love with Y/N since their high school days and he’s never found the courage to tell her. Could now be his chance or will he end up with his heart broken?
Warnings: Minor angst, minor fluff, discussion of FWB rules, thoughts of sex
A/N: Thank you everyone for your lovely words about the first chapter! I’m so looking forward to bringing you the rest of this angsty story. Strap in because it’s a doozy, that’s all I’m saying! As always, happy reading and enjoy! :) Series beta’d by my twin @downanddirtydean! I love you! <3
This series is currently 4 weeks ahead on Patreon, and can be yours to read from just $2.50! :)
The Cost Of Friendship Masterlist
Y/N groaned, squinting as the sunlight filtered in through the small gap between the curtains in her room and hit her face. She rolled over on the bed, facing her back to the window so that she wouldn’t be blinded anymore. Not even a millisecond later, the alarm on her phone blared, making her groan with even more frustration than before. She opened one eye as she picked it up, turning off the infernal intrusion to her sleep and caught the time. 10:30AM. She sighed, knowing she should probably get up and make the most of her Saturday, but she couldn’t bring herself to move considering she got in so late.
Smiling as she remembered the reason she had tip-toed back into her apartment the night before, she rolled onto her back, staring up at the ceiling as flashes of what occurred came to mind. She was thankful to her best friend in more ways than one that morning. Not only had she woken up hangover-free, but she had also woken up completely satisfied from the mind-blowing sex they had. She never thought that Dean Winchester, her best friend since she was a sophomore and he was a senior, would be the one to give her the best orgasm of her life so far, but here she was. Totally, one hundred percent, content.
Anyone else would probably think it was a bad decision for them to have sex and decide to have a friends with benefits arrangement, that it would be “crossing the line”, but she didn’t think of it that way. They were friends. Always had been, always will be. This would just be one friend helping another. She knew that when they did talk about it, he would agree.
Throwing the covers back, she fixed her tank top and sleep shorts before dragging her feet across the carpeted floor, phone in hand, opening her door. She walked out into the main living area, a medium open concept space that had the living room, dining and kitchen altogether. Add in two bedrooms, two baths, and it was a pretty good deal. Charlie had asked her to move into the rent control apartment 2 years ago, and it was the best decision she ever made. Y/N was an only child and had no contact with her father, except for a random phone call every 6 months, so after her mom passed away, Charlie was the only family she had other than Dean.
Walking over to the kitchen, she smiled as the coffee was already made, meaning her redheaded friend was already up and about. Pouring a decent amount into her Wonder Woman mug, a gift from Dean at one Christmas, she opened the fridge and took out the cream cheese. Using the bagel cutter to slice one, she popped both sides into the toaster and waited, sipping her coffee. Once they popped back up, she took them out, spreading the cream cheese generously on each side before sitting down at the round table they had.
“Morning,” Charlie said, walking out of her room, already dressed for the day in a Robin t-shirt, her black and white flannel on top and light grey jeans. She had socks on, not putting her signature converse on until she left for wherever she was going.
“Morning,” Y/N muttered, biting into her bagel.
“Didn’t hear you come in last night,” Charlie stated, a small smile on her face. “So the date went well?”
She wasn’t about to tell Charlie that she went home with Dean when the date turned sour. At least, not until they had established more rules and whether they were telling people yet or not.
“No,” she replied, swallowing her bite. “I just hung out with Dean after I left the date. Helped him close up.”
“Another C minus then?” Charlie asked, picking up her shoes and putting the left one on, tying her laces.
Y/N sighed. It was funny how well her friends knew her. “Well, like I told Dean last night, more like an F. I don’t really wanna talk about it.”
“You know I’m here when you do,” Charlie reassured her, standing up after she put on her right sneaker. She walked over to Y/N, standing behind the chair and hugging her, leaning down to kiss her cheek. “Some guy is gonna come along and sweep you up so fast, so soon, Y/N. I just know it.”
Y/N smiled sadly, tilting her head back to look up at her. Yeah, I don’t think so. “Thanks, Charlie.”
“You’re welcome,” Charlie said, walking away and picking up her backpack. “Stevie and I are going out for the day, and then I’m staying at hers tonight. So I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Bye, have a good time,” Y/N called out. “Love you!”
“Thanks! Love you too!”
The door slammed shut, leaving Y/N by herself in the apartment. Ever since Charlie and Stevie got together 8 months ago, she had found herself having a lot of nights to herself. While she enjoyed the peace and quiet, it was also a constant reminder of how she didn't have anyone special in her life yet. Someone to come home to. Someone to love unconditionally. Everyone around her was already in a relationship, which made things harder. It was difficult to hang out and not be constantly confronted with your loneliness in the form of everyone already being coupled up. Everyone except Dean. At least she still had him.
Picking up her phone, she scrolled through her message threads and found his, opening it up. She bit her lip as she thought about what to say to him, considering the last time she saw him was last night when they were becoming extremely familiar with each other. It’s not like she could say “hey, thanks for the great sex last night! Pizza and movie night tonight?” or could she? She shook her head, knowing that wasn’t an option. She quickly typed out a text, dropping the phone on the table and waiting for a response.
Hey, hope you slept well last night. Do you mind if we have that chat tonight? I can bring food over, if you want.
Her phone chimed twice as messages from Dean popped up, not even thirty seconds later.
I did, thanks to you ;)
And yeah, let’s do it. I got a 9pm start at the bar but come over around 7 and we can eat. I’ll cook.
She smiled as she thought about his cooking, knowing that was a way better offer than anything she could bring over for dinner. She typed out her reply and sent it, going back to eating her breakfast.
Sounds good! See you then :)
Quickly finishing her coffee and breakfast, she washed her dishes and walked back into her room, knowing she had a mountain of laundry to do. That, along with starting the research for her next column for the paper, would take enough time out of the day until she had to go to Dean’s apartment.
As she gathered her clothes, she didn’t notice the kick in her step or the smile on her face as she thought about seeing him again. She was just excited to see her friend.
That was all.
Dean slowly opened the oven, oven mitts on as he slid the heavy dish off the rack and stood up, placing it on the stove. He smirked, a nod of approval of his own food, seeing the cheese bubbling on top of the lasagna. Pulling the oven mitts off, he slapped them on the kitchen counter, taking out plates and glasses, ready for Y/N as he knew she would be there soon.
He was nervous about seeing her. More than that, he was terrified about what ground rules they would have to lay down as they started this arrangement between them. In hindsight, he knew this hadn’t been the smartest thing to do, but he couldn’t let her down. He never had in their friendship so far, and he wasn’t about to now. He knew that he would do whatever she wanted to do when it came to these rules, but considering he was so freaking crazy about her, he knew it was going to be one of the most difficult things he’s ever done.
Three knocks on the apartment door broke him out of his thoughts, as he put the plates and glasses down. Walking out of the kitchen and through the living area, he turned the door knob and swung the door open, smirking as he saw Y/N on the other side. She looked stunning, even in something as simple as dark grey jeans, a lacy top and black leather jacket on top.
“How are you?” he asked, hugging her before closing the door.
“Good, can’t complain, really,” she replied, smiling as she took her jacket off and draped it on the couch along with her cross-body purse. “You?”
“About the same,” he said, smiling at her. “Get anything done on this fine Saturday?”
“Laundry and started working on the next column,” she stated, walking over into the kitchen, smiling when she saw the lasagna on the stove, looking over at him. “My favorite.”
He shrugged, the smirk still on his face. “Figured since you were coming over.”
“Thank you,” she squealed, hugging him again, tightly.
“Okay, okay,” he chuckled, feigning annoyance as they pulled away from each other. “Let’s just eat, shall we?”
They took their food out and grabbed some soda for each of them in their glasses, knowing they’d have a drink once they got to the bar. She sat down at one end of the table, Dean immediately taking the spot on her right than the one across.
“What did you do today?” she asked, cutting a bite of the lasagna with her fork. She blew on it to cool it down, before placing it in her mouth. She moaned as the flavors exploded on her taste buds, her eyes closing.
He cleared his throat, the moan from her making him slightly uncomfortable below the belt. “Uh… fixed Baby with a new ignition cable, spoke to Sam, he says hi.”
“How is he?” she inquired, taking a sip of her drink.
“He’s good,” he replied, swallowing the large bite he had just put in his mouth. “Law school’s kicking his ass, but he’s good.”
She nodded, continuing to eat as she asked about Sam and his college life. “He and Jess still looking to move apartments?”
“They found one,” he informed her. “Yeah, they should be moving in a couple of weeks.”
“Nice,” she remarked, smiling. Taking a deep breath, she put her fork as she thought her next words carefully. “So… we should probably talk about how we’re going to handle this arrangement between us.”
“Okay,” he mumbled, nodding as he looked up at her.
“Well, first… are we going to tell people? I mean, Charlie questioned why I came home so late but I didn’t say anything, so that’s why I thought we should talk about that first,” she explained, frowning.
Thinking it over quickly, he knew no one would understand why they were doing this, so it was better to leave it a secret for now. Plus, he didn’t want to run the risk of them telling him he’s an idiot for going through with this when he had been so in love with for so long.
“We can keep it under lock and key for now,” he replied, nodding slowly, making his mind up as he spoke.
She breathed a sigh of relief. “Okay, good.”
“So, what else?” he asked, continuing to eat to distract himself from the small ache growing in his heart.
“I think we keep it simple. No sleepovers after we’ve had sex, always make sure we check-in regularly and that we’re on the same page,” she listed, giving him her full attention.
“Sounds good so far,” he approved, sipping his soda.
“We have a standing night to have sex, let’s make it a Friday, but if we feel the need for more than that, we just say so. And we can still see other people, but as soon as it starts to get serious, we call off the arrangement. How does all that sound?” She looked at him, smiling hopefully, as she bit her lip.
Still see other people? He didn’t want to see anyone else but her. Call it off, Dean! Just fucking end it before it starts! He found himself nodding, smirking as he raised his glass. “Sounds good to me.”
Beaming, she clinked her glass to his, taking a sip of her soda. She put the glass back, her eyes never leaving him. “I’m glad we got that out of the way.”
“Yeah,” he said, casually, stuffing his mouth with food to stop himself from screaming out loud rather than internally. “You comin’ to the bar after?”
“You betcha,” she replied, giggling as she took the saying from one of their dear friends.
They continued to eat, comfortable conversation taking over and making Dean feel a little better, as they dropped the subject of their arrangement. He knew it was a mistake to do this, and he knew he should fess up and tell her how insanely in love with her he’s always been, but that wasn’t what she wanted. She had never seen him that way, but he had to hope that just maybe this new step in their friendship would be enough for her to realize that he was an option for her. That he would always be an option, in more than just casual sex.
Only time would tell if that ever happened, but for now, he had to take whatever he could get from her, knowing even the smallest form of affection from her was better than nothing at all.
Walking into the back room of the bar, Dean hung up his jacket on one of the hooks along the wall of the office/stock room. Rolling up the sleeves of his maroon button up, he opened the door and walked out into the main room, hearing cheers, whistling, loud chatter and uproarious laughter as he made his way behind the bar. Y/N came in through the front, taking her usual bar stool and folding her arms on the dark mahogany. He gestured to his partner for the night to serve her, he himself making his way along the bar, and picking up empty glasses.
“For you, m’lady,” Gabriel smirked, placing the tumbler down in front of her, a double whiskey in it.
“Thank you, kind sir,” she replied, smirking back at him.
“Feels like I haven’t seen you in a while,” he observed, folding his arms as he leaned on the bar, their gaze level with each other. “Knew you couldn’t stay away from me for too long.”
“Still full of yourself, I see,” she quipped, taking a sip of her drink.
“You can be full of me, too, just say the word,” he flirted, winking.
She snorted, shaking her head as she laughed, covering her mouth. If anyone else had said that to her she would’ve had them on their ass so fast but considering her and Gabriel had been like this for years, it was completely harmless and quite hilarious when he said things like that.
“Don’t you have people to serve, barkeep?” she wondered, raising an eyebrow.
Drumming his hands on the surface, he pushed back, pointing at her. “Don’t you go anywhere.”
“Maybe I will,” she threw back, cheekily.
“You know you want me, Y/L/N!” he called out, walking out around the bar.
“In your dreams, Novak,” she teased, as he walked past her.
Turning around, he smirked as he walked backwards. “You’re right about that.”
She shook her head, giggling to herself as he walked away, taking a sip of her drink. Pulling out her phone, she kept herself occupied before he returned.
Dean poured drinks for a couple at the other end of the bar, his ear constantly on Y/N and Gabriel’s conversation. Since it was so loud, he couldn’t hear clearly, but from his peripheral he could see them smiley and giggly with each other. He knew it was harmless because they were always like that, but he wished she could be that way with him. Yes, they flirted, but it was even more innocent than her flirting with Gabe. Just once, he’d like her to take his flirtations seriously, because he knew in his heart that he meant them.
“Here you go,” he said, placing the two Old Fashioned tumblers down in front of the couple. “Enjoy.”
He watched Y/N as she looked through her phone, unable to tear his eyes away from her. He knew however long this arrangement lasted was going to be difficult for him to get through. He had never felt for past girlfriends what he had always felt for Y/N. They all paled in comparison, and she was always at the front of his mind.
He just hoped that she would one day, soon enough, say the same for him.
In a crime-infested aristocratic family, Adeline Fravenski has learned to survive. When her father begins the battle of the heirs, Adeline is determined to win. If not, her own siblings may just kill her.
The game to survive begins. But she was outplayed.
Warnings: Post! TFATWS. Mentions of memories. Bucky's Past. Family. Relationship. Mentions of Christmas. Mentions of Weddings. Fluff. Fluff. Fluff. Mentions of New Avengers. White Wolf! Bucky.
Author's Note: Hello! Hello! Hello! I hope everyone's well. I'm better but none in my best days. (I need a hug from Bucky)
I wrote this fic like a gift for all of you that takes your time to read my stories and most important, makes me keep writing.
I apologize for having abandoned you so much and I hope you like this fic ❤️
One more thing: If you can and if you want, leave a comment or reblog the post.
Thanks for all the replies and welcome to whoever wants to read!! XOXO 😘
Tus ojos me llevan lentamente al sol y tu boca me habla del amor y el corazon, tu piel tiene el color de un rojo atardecer... Y es por ti, que late mí corazon...
I hear him snort as I listens attentively to what he is being told on the other line of the phone. I focus on the water moving in front of me, as I see the reflection of the stars in it, and dream for a moment to reach one.
- What do you mean, there are no reservations? - Oh, we didn't have a place for dinner. I look at my white dress with blue flowers and see Bucky tugging at the collar of hid white short-sleeved shirt as if it bothered him. I doubt for a moment whether to approach him but I turn around just to see how my boyfriend wants to hit the trash can that he has next to him, but little hides his desire to do so.
I let out a laugh that makes him look at me and smile at me before turning his attention back to the speaker saying that he had booked last Friday.
- I did not make the reservation, he made it .... Damn idiot - I hold back the urge to laugh as soon as I see that the colors begin to rise on his face, and I know that he is letting himself be carried away by anger - I'm not telling you , Mister. It is the idiot of my partner who surely did not make the reservation to annoy me.
That's right, when Bucky got upset with Sam, he went from losing the title of "best friend forever" to becoming "the co-worker" accompanied by a note of hatred in his voice.
I move closer to his side to interlock our hands and as soon as he notices me leaning against his side, he lets go of my hand to wrap it around my waist.
- Look, this is the situation, I asked my friend to reserve a table because I wanted to take my girlfriend to a special dinner after being almost two months away. I'm upset and you don't have to take my anger away, so I'm sorry.
He listen for a few moments and I turn to see that a few meters away, there is a church where many people are arriving, dressed in an elegant way, both in suits and in long dresses, except for three girls who are wearing cream colored dresses and small flower crowns in their heads.
A wedding. And if there was something that I loved as much as Christmas, it was weddings.
I let go of Bucky's grip and point to the church as I walk towards it, he just looks at me with a frown but nods, muttering a "Wedding?"
I just shrug my shoulders, giving him a smile as I hurry to arrive and see the minute I enter the church, how a young woman in a beautiful champagne-colored dress approaches down the hall, accompanied by what I imagine is her mother, until where is the groom, who has tears in his eyes. That emotion of knowing that the person you love loves you so much that he will do whatever it takes for you to know, joining you until the love is over, and why not, forever.
I see the details of the benches, which contain small twigs like the one the bride wears, as well as a small black bow like the one the groom wears. Sometimes the little details are the best.
- I can never keep you away from mistletoe or weddings, right? - I laugh as I shake my head and move a little closer to where Bucky is, leaning against his chest while we see how the boyfriend wipes some tears before saying his vows, without taking his eyes off his partner - I liked too to watch weddings whenever I could, but I always dragged Steve before the bride and groom kissed, I don't know why it gave me ...
- Disgusting? - I lowered my voice so as not to disturb those present.
- No, I don't know, but it kind of bothered me at that moment to see something so intimate. - The sincerity in his voice makes her lift her head to look at him, and he's just staring at the couple.
- Very considerate, Barnes. Counting that there are more than 100 people here watching a couple swear eternal love.
He falls silent and I feel his chin resting on my head.
- I always have been - He tightens his arms around me and I let out a laugh as I listen to the priest ask the bride to say her vows. For a moment I get lost in my thoughts and imagine that it is the two of us, that the love we feel is great enough to take that step - only that you have known a part of me that is not very considerate.
I feel my cheeks warm when I hear his words and we are distracted by the applause, while I accompany them and instantly we see the happy couple pass by with smiles that radiate happiness.
- Come with me - He pulls me towards the exit of the church and brings me closer to the side of him as we walk away from the church amid murmurs, cries and little notes of music that fill our surroundings.
I know he's partly upset that I didn't have the night he had planned, but for me, just having him by my side is enough.
- Change that face, Bucky. It's just a dinner.
He lets out another snort as he steps away just to clasp our hands and guides me toward a small bridge full of little lights that look like fireflies. We walk in silence for a few minutes and I enjoy his company, because just seeing him is enough for my heart.
- It would be a special dinner, baby.
- I like that you call me that - He smiles and looks towards the pier, while the moon barely illuminates around him - And any moment is special if you are here. Let me enjoy you until you have to leave again.
Oh god, I sounded really cheesy.
- I like your cheesy side - he murmurs in a low voice as if he could read my mind - It's just like mine ... I just don't show it too much.
- You show it only with me and it is enough.
We both laugh until we get to the end of the pier and I lean on the railing as he leans with his back to the river - You know, the other day I went to a pawn shop that Sam sent me. Marc had told him that he had found things about my family and that he might want to see it.
- What did you find?
- Photos of my sisters, some things that belonged to me, like my book The Hobbit, and others ... It is a small wooden drawer that has a little of what my life was before all this ... - I see him settling in like he's in a defensive posture, but as soon as he looks at me I see his eyes sparkle, as if emotions overwhelmed him. Something about that little excursion into the past made him happier - and I found something else there. I recognized it as soon as I saw it.
- Any treasure?
He stays silent and smiles at me as he takes off the jacket he's wearing and drapes it over my shoulders. I don't know when I started to shake, but I thank him with a smile - Something better than that.
- Will we play question and answer until you tell me?
He starts to laugh out loud at my frown and walks over, resting his hands on my waist, turning me towards him completely.
- Your eyes shine ... Did I tell you that you look beautiful today? - I feel the heat rise up my face and every part of my body that my clothes hide. He know very well how to distract me from my long questionnaires.
- Thank you for that, but the beauty of the two is you.
- Are you only attracted to my beauty?
I shake my head as he placed my hand on his chest, level with his heart.
- This is what attracts me the most about you, James.
He starts to blush and I feel like the luckiest woman in the universe. I hug him and feel him looking for something in his jacket pocket and the second I feel his lips against my ear.
- I found my mother's engagement ring.
Something inside me freezes as soon as I hear his words and I feel as if the floor has disappeared and she will find me only supported by his arm surrounding me.
Did he say engagement ring?
- Bucky ...
- I always remember my mother telling me that the day she would find the perfect woman for me, she would tell me with just one look. That other women would not exist for me and I would only see her. Only to the one that was the right one for me - He murmurs as he moves away and takes my hand, as if he knows that I feel insecure without his touch - At that moment it was not something that mattered to me, because the truth was, I was fleeing the idea of Marriage but ... When I saw you at that amusement park, I don't know what happened to me. But I felt that the words of my mother to me of 15 years suddenly made sense and ... I wanted you only for me.
- Oh ...
- And the fact that she found this ring now ... I took it as a sign that it was time to give it to someone. And who better than you - I notice that he has a small red box in his hand and he lets me go just to open it and let me see a small silver ring with a beautiful red stone surrounded by small white crystals, very bright in the light of the moon. The air escapes me suddenly, I feel a pressure in my chest and suddenly the tears fight to come out. The word "yes" struggles to leave my lips against my will before he even asks the question that I don't know if he will. How can I deal with disappointment later if I misunderstood his actions? - It was a gift from my father when they got start dating, it's all I know, but I know very well that she would have been very proud that I gave it to you as proof of how I feel about you.
I gasp in search of the words but my brain seems not to react beyond the image of the ring - Does the mouse seem to me or has your tongue eaten, doll?
- I'd rather say the ring - I barely mutter as I try to get back to the here and now, but I focus only on how Bucky takes a deep breath, takes the little ring out of its box, which he pulls next to us and takes my hand.
- I was upset because my idea was to take you to dinner, that we can walk for a while, maybe have fun at the fair and when we come home after an incredible night, ask you to marry me when we are in our room, but I see that Sam always makes me improvise things - Without taking his blue eyes from mine, he falls on one of his knees in front of me and the world stops as soon as he offers me the ring as if it were the most valuable thing in the universe - Would you marry me , doll?
I shake my head frantically like I'm a Hawaiian car doll before I feel the tears run down my face and I laugh. I feel that my heart is going to leave my chest with so much joy.
- Of course, I do accept! And you ask me? - I don't give him time to get up because I threw myself into his arms, making him end up sitting on the floor with me astride, while I kiss him as if there was no tomorrow.
And the pieces of the puzzle snap together, just like our lips, where my tears mingle with the minty taste of his mouth and she smiled against his kiss, as I feel his grip grow even tighter. around me. I barely pull away, parting from his lips for a few seconds to pinch me and make sure I'm not dreaming, which is why I hear him laugh.
My fiancé. My future husband.
Hell, how good it feels to say or think those words.
- It's not a dream, is it?
- Let me take you home and I will show you that it is not a dream.
I laugh as I hug him again and feel his lips against my neck, where he leaves a soft kiss to separate and place the ring in the right place.
- There is, officially you will be mine.
- Am I not yours already?
- Yes, but I will like me much more when you have my last name, baby.
Just binged on some Costco cookies and I'm in a relationship
WTH. So just when I was vowing to make a change, the devil knocks on the door with a box of cookies. Mind you I was playing escape artist through a glass of cognac and was setting myself up for a lovely sleep. But then the cookies happened, very satisfying- super satisfying but not needed at 12am.
Speaking of satisfying - my man satisfied me the other night. I was just trying to find a Segway to talk about my new boyfriend. I just want to be the best person I can be and give us a fair chance. But as always there are a few things I need him to improve on...
I'll save that for another post, because last night, I literally fell asleep on the keyboard. Sugar has been knocking me out lately and between the brown liquid and the crack filled Costco cookie- I knocked all the way out... Bleed all over my white duvet
now Im running behind for work- this is adulting. BUT I had a brilliant thought, what if my writing is what gets me to where I want to be. I used to be enriched English when I first started high school, till my grades dropped and they dropped me down to regular ass circriculum once they realized I was a regular ass person. Which is fucked up! I wish I had a present parent to tell me, baby your enriched regardless of what they say OR at least give me beatings for losing the status. Because status gives you confidence, confidence gives you the belief that you can achieve- when they stole that title from me. I saw my self as regular and I continued to operate from that lens.