物の哀れ ( ‘the sadness of things’.)
Characters : Alpha! Jungkook x Omega ! OC.
Genre : Arranged Marriage / Temporary contractual Marriage.
Warnings : Extremely Dubious Consent . High functioning alcoholism. Genre related consent issues.
Summary : A recently widowed Jungkook agrees to a contract marriage to keep his company afloat. His grief overwhelms him and it is hard to look at his new wife as anything other than an intruder .
[ Author’s Note : 物の哀れ ~ Mono no aware can be translated as ‘the sadness of things’. It comes from the words 物 (mono – thing) and 哀れ (aware – poignancy or pathos). The ‘sadness’ in question comes from an awareness of the transience of things, as taught by Zen Buddhism. When we view something exceptionally beautiful, we might feel sad because we know it won’t stay so beautiful forever – but appreciation only heightens the pleasure we take in the beautiful thing in that moment. ]
“There’s a dinner this weekend with the MD of Sankim Corp., He wants to discuss investing and his wife’s going to be there too. So maybe Heejin should come along as well, Jungkook. “ Namjoon’s voice was low and soothing, hands gentle as he lightly shook the man hunched over the dining table, fingers trembling as he carefully ate his cereal.
Jungkook didn’t respond and neither did he look at me, gaze trained on the bowl in front of him, doe eyes listless and empty. Dark circles marred his pale skin and the ashen pallor of his skin stood out starkly against the dark of his business suit.
“ Alright.” My voice was scratchy from disuse. It was a little past eight and he would be leaving for work in about ten minutes. A hasty breakfast, scenting his daughter and then shoes and out of the door.
It was a routine I’d memorized , after watching it everyday for three months.
Three months of soul-crushing, debilitating guilt. It was all consuming, this feeling of being the worst kind of person alive. To barge into someone’s life at their worst. To take a space that belonged to someone else. Someone he had loved and cherished. Jungkook’s grief was still raw and fresh and I had been nothing but salt in his wounds.
But no matter how much I wanted to disappear, i couldn’t. I was here, and so was he. We were struck together. For the next year.
My father had made sure of that.
I’d always known my father was ruthless but watching him go after a newly grieving father, a man struggling in every way and manipulating him into a marriage he didn’t want....that had been sickening to watch.
My heart ached for Jungkook.
He had loved his wife deeply. I had known that even before her passing three months ago. They were a very public couple, the Alpha CEO and his beautiful model wife . They were a favorite with tabloids and magazines and very vocal about how much they loved each other.
So when she died giving birth to the couple’s first baby, it was a tragedy that the entire country felt deeply. Jungkook, who had been struggling with a company on the verge of bankruptcy had been counting on his wife’s support and clearly the ground had been ripped from underneath his foot with her death. He was suddenly a single father to an infant , with no means to pay for anything and a company to save.
My father had swooped in like a vulture and forced him to agree to this marriage. Poor Jungkook with no way out had accepted.
And so we got married and now, here he was...the reluctant husband in a farce of a marriage, weighed down by the responsibility of rebuilding his company and staying sane for the sake of his daughter.
I waited to see if he had anything else to say, before carefully getting up and leaving the room. When Namjoon was around he had no need for me. There was one live in housekeeper who took care of the cleaning . Jungkook had fired most of the staff when his company had gone into a decline and he hadn’t bothered to rehire them after his wife’s death . His personal secretary , a kind beta named Jimin was always available on call .
All other times , it was just me and baby Mina.
And i preferred it that way.
Beautiful, sweet and precious Mina. She was three months old, with the softest downy black hair and creamy blemish-less skin. Mina looked startlingly like her father, the same doe black eyes that seemed to shine , the sharp little nose and the thin , cherry red lips .
At first she hadn’t liked me much, my scent strange and foreign . But over the months she had warmed up to me, my cuddles making up for her father’s absence. Jungkook had had a very hard time bonding with the baby.
The loss of his wife had made it impossible for him to accept the baby who carried her scent , and it had taken a few weeks of intensive therapy for him to finally hold her.
I remembered how the little one had snuggled into his chest, sniffling and tearful, finally able to scent her alpha father. After that, I’d made it a point to have her up and dressed, every morning when he was ready to leave. At first he had refused to scent her , trying to avoid the contact but i could be incredibly persistent when I wanted to.
“She needs this Jungkook...” I had begged for days on end and he had finally relented one day, holding her up to his neck, burying his nose and into the crook of her shoulders. Mina had settled so well, spending the rest of the day content and happy.
And now, I didn’t have to do a thing. Jungkook went into the nursery himself, lifted the baby out of her crib if she was awake, or bent low if she was asleep and he snuggled her, his calming scent leaving her secure and settled.
“I’ll drop him back after work. “ Namjoon gave me a kind smile, his eyes warm and sympathetic and I nodded, watching my husband stumble a little as he reached for the set of keys in the bowl. He stopped, straightening up and staring at the portrait hung on the wall, right over the table.
Kim Soo Ah had been a beautiful woman and she continued to take his breath away, even after her passing. I felt an iron fist around my heart, squeezing hard and he reached out and gently touched her face.
“Good day love.” He whispered gently, voice tender and sweet and I flinched. God, it ought not to sting, watching him bid good bye to his wife while ignoring me entirely . It ought not to, but it did.
Once the door closed behind him , I could finally relax, my body going lax . It was .... odd . Living with Jungkook in the same house meant being surrounded by his scent and by all accounts i should enjoy it. He was a handsome alpha ( gorgeous really ) and my husband . I should enjoy it.
But I didn’t.
Quite the contrary in fact.
Jungkook’s scent wasn’t rich and musky or comforting to my senses. It was cold, aloof and distant, laced with a lot of pain and grief . He was hurting deeply, in love with the wife he had lost too soon and even though she was dead , his emotions kept the bond between them alive.
Therapy helped of course but in the heart of it, Jungkook didn’t want to move on.
He had a lifetime’s worth of love for his wife with no way to show it and it filled him, leaving no space for anything else. He was mated to her, body and soul. Possibly for the rest of his life.
As for me, I was an omega. A rare breed. Reviled because of how immoral our instincts made us. Most of us had been bred out and only the occasional omega turned up every once in a while.
Omegas were associated with cowardice and lust. With greed and a hunger for beauty and strength. Handsome alphas, wealthy alphas, unclaimed alphas. It was a biological imperative, you could say. To look for someone who could protect you, provide for you and love you.
But there was a catch.
Omegas weren’t built to live with mated Alphas.
We were built to despise them. Jungkook’s scent made me nauseous, made my skin crawl and filled me with the urge to run. When he stepped too close my entire body rebelled at the idea of it. Guilt became a physical entity in my gut, churning my insides and making it impossible to breathe.
The soft low cry from the nursery pulled me out of my thoughts. I quickly ran to the room right next to Jungkook’s bedroom, slipping in carefully and pulling the blinds open. Sunlight spilled into the beige brown carpet , lighting up the room in a warm golden glow.
I glanced at the crib , the sight of her wriggling body bringing delight as always.
“Hello, my lovely.” I cooed, leaning over the crib to gently press a palm underneath her head and neck, another over torso, lifting her carefully out of the bed. She could hold her head up without support but I still liked to be cautious. She was small for her age, dainty and almost feather light but it was comforting, holding her too my chest like this.
Especially because I knew this was going to end someday. Our marriage would last a year and we were already three months in.
In exactly nine months, i would have to walk out of this home and forget these two existed.
The fist around my heart tightened.
It was going to hurt.
The living space has a sunken area, about seven by nine feet in area. it was covered in thick carpets and quilts and piled with rattles and soft little stuffies. Mina lay on her front, occasionally wiggling her but or lifting her next to peer up at me, watching me as I carefully scooped formula into her bottle. The kettle with the warm water sat next to me and so did a tray with her napkins, wipes and her burp cloth.
It was raining and a glance at the clock told me that Jungkook was late. But not too much. I would finish feeding Mina and then give Namjoon a call.
I poured the water in , making careful note of the amount before closing the bottle and giving it a shake, watching the powder dissolve into the liquid.
The heaviness in my breasts made me queasy.
It wasn’t unexpected. Omegas were inherently built to raise young ones. The scent of an infant in such close quarters had tricked my body into believing she was mine. Milk beaded on the tips , soaking my shirt and I had to fight the urge to squeeze it out, knowing that it would only make things worse.
It wasn’t new. It wasn’t something I’d never experienced but it was something from a time i wished deeply to forget.
I had an appointment for Mina in two days and hopefully the doctor would offer a solution that wasn’t , “ why don’t you just let her nurse.”
The answer was, because Jungkook had expressly forbidden me to.
In a moment of desperation, stemming entirely from the agony I was in, I’d begged him to just let me feed her and he had barked a harsh, “ You’re not her mother, that’s disgusting.”
I’d been so tempted to yell at him that breastmilk wasn’t customized for each baby. People donated milk all the damn time and wet nurses were a thing.
But i hadn’t because I knew that he took it as some kind of twisted threat towards his dead wife’s memory.
There was nothing I could do to fight a phantom. Sooah was a ghost ~ somehow more real than the people i saw and talked to everyday. i didn’t hate her. Of course not. My heart grieved for her because of how much love she had missed out on but it was hard to stay locked within four walls. Walls covered with her portraits and her smiles.
And though Mina in all her innocence nuzzled into my neck, curled her chubby little fingers in the locks of my hair and found comfort in my arms.... I wasn’t her mother. And she would grow up hearing stories of the woman in the portraits and i wouldn’t even be a memory because a child this young wouldn’t remember me once i left.
“Are you ready for dinner, my little princess?” I let a few drops of the formula drip into my wrist to make sure it wasn’t too hot , before scooting down into the quilts and carpets, moving to pull her into my arms.
She made a fuss, fingers clawing at my shirt and the scent of fresh milk clinging to my body. I grimaced when i felt myself drip into the shirt, trying to adjust her in the cradle of my arm, fingers gently prodding her lips open before pressing the nipple of the bottle against her lips.
She suckled instinctively and i sighed relieved.
It usually took her anywhere between twenty five to thirty minutes to finish her bottle, including the couple of minutes we took a break for her to burp. I was just letting her finish up the last of the milk when the phone rang. The sound startled her into unlatching and I flinched when her big dark eyes filled with tears. Bracing myself for the wail, I reached out for the phone, fumbling with the screen to attend the call.
I stared at the name, surprised.
“Jungkook?” I asked shocked.
“Hello, miss? I’m calling from Venom. The club in Gangnam? “
My heart dropped.
Shit Shit Shit...
“Oh.. Is Jungkook alright?!” I held mina closer, scrambling to my feet quickly and rushing to the nursery. It was the only room other than the master bedroom and i stayed here. My clothes still spilled out of my suitcase. She was crying fully now and I struggled to keep the phone between my shoulder and cheek, gently cradling her to try and sooth her wails.
“He’s not hurt much but he’s being impossible. We’ve tried calling his assistants and no one is picking the damn phone. We know that he’s someone important and we don’t want to permanently ban him from the establishment but to be honest, my patience is wearing thin, Miss.”
“Please... just...can you give me half an hour? I’ll be there.”
“You have twenty minutes. “ He hung up before I could respond.
Mina had settled, suckling on the fabric of my t shirt soaked with milk and I grimaced, pulling her away gently and picking up a soft fleece jacket and dressing her quickly. It was cold as ice out there and the rain certainly didn’t help. I grabbed the small carry all that held her baby things, just in case.
i stared at myself in the mirror and groaned. I was dressed in a grey t shirt now stained beyond redemption and a pair of jean shorts . But there was no time to change. Throwing a jacket over my shoulders , I held Mina closer, moving to the door with leaden legs. I was so exhausted.
Not surprisingly, they had tossed him out and he was on the curb, soaked to his skin and shivering , his completely useless best friends standing behind him. He was drunk out of his mind. The rain lashed down on him and I when i climbed out , the ice cold temperatures immediately made my teeth chatter. Hating my life, I ran over to stand in front of him.
“Jungkook, get up!” I yelled over the sound of the torrential deluge , threatening to drown us.
He merely raised his head, looking completely unfocused. Groaning, I sank to my knees in front of him, the gravel digging into my knee as i wrapped both arms around his waist and buried my face into his shoulder, the wet fabric sticking to my skin as I yanked him to his feet.
Finally getting some semblance of his bearing, Jungkook stumbled to his feet, leaning over me and I stumbled back as he staggered a few steps forward, blinking at the headlights. I kept my arms around him as he dragged himself to the open car door and I focused on keeping myself up and not crumbling under his weight.
“Sooah...Sooah I’m so sorry...” Jungkook kept muttering as I maneuvered him into the front seat. Mina was strapped into her car seat in the back and he was too drunk to be allowed near her. Grunting, I grabbed his shoulders, trying to get him to sit up right. He reeked of alcohol and misery and i had to hold my breath to stop myself from retching.
His hand came up gripping my neck loosely and i stopped breathing.
“So beautiful.” He whispered, eyes blinking lazily up at me.. I stared at him, stunned. “ Sooah you’re so .....fucking beautiful.”
I gently grabbed his wrist , pulling his hand away from my neck and letting it rest by his side.
“You need to put your belt on.” i muttered , reaching across his chest to grab the seatbelt and I jumped when he leaned closer, burying his face in between my breasts.
“You smell so good.” He slurred and I yanked the belt hard, stumbling away from him in panic. Keeping my distance, I quickly pushed the end into the slot, locking the belt in and made sure his hands and legs were properly in before slamming the car door shut.
I moved to the driver seat, just about to climb in when a very familiar and unwelcome scent hit my senses.
“Well if it isn’t my favorite girl....”
I glanced at Jungkook’s supposed best friend, a towering alpha with a face that was handsome yet somehow leering and cruel.
“You’re the reason he’s like this. i hope you’re happy.” He slurred. The irony of it. I wasn’t that pathetic. Jungkook’s state wasn’t my fault. Not in any sense of the word. But I was used to being the scapegoat, anytime alphas or betas screwed up. Yugyeom and his cronies had brought him to a club , knowing that he couldn’t hold off on his alcohol.
And yet apparently, this was my fault.
Giving him a curt bow , I moved to open the door only to have him grip my arm, hard and unrelenting as he yanked me back.
“You should at least earn your place by his side...treat his friends right...” He leered.
“Yugyeom-ah let her go man...filth like that isn’t worth it...” One of his friends called from behind me and he smirked.
“I’m just waiting for the year to end. Jungkook will toss you out on the streets and no one will want to hire or house a disgraced omega. You’ll have to earn your living on your back. “ He smirked. “ Let’s see how you run from me then. “
I struggled to get out of his grasp.
“I would rather die than let the likes of you touch me...” I hissed angrily and he laughed.
“They all say that. Do you know how many virtuous , high handed omegas I’ve broken in... but something tells me you’re going to be sweetest one yet.” There was a note of seriousness in his tone that bothered me. It wasn’t like the usual threats and insult that got tossed my way. Yugyeom’s words sent a chill up my spine and I swallowed.
Ignoring the rush of blood in my ears , I pulled away and quickly climbed into the car, closing the door behind me. I glanced back at Mina, reaching over the divide to press a palm to her chest, relaxing at the gentle rise and fall of her torso. She was asleep
So was her father.
In repose , Jungkook was easily the most breathtaking man i had ever seen. i stared at him , my heart beginning to pound steadily. You couldn’t control who you were attracted to and i couldn’t control the way I felt whenever I looked at my husband.
Getting him into bed was an ordeal. Even with help from the guard at the gate, I was completely drained by the time I had him in his bed .
Head spinning because I usually napped when Mina napped and at the end of this , I wanted to sob because the little one would be up again and I would have to change her and feed her and burp her and then rock her to sleep again.
“I doubt this is what your wife wants...” i whispered, grunting as i yanked his shoes off. He didn’t stir, knocked out cold on the bed.
I stared at him. Normally I would strip him of his clothes and push him to stand under the shower but today, i was too tired. But he was soaked and I had to get the wet clothes off him.
It was a painstakingly slow process and by the time I was done, Jungkook shirtless and only in his boxers , with the comforter over his waist, my knees gave out.
I landed on him with a gruff and he blinked .
“Heejinah...” His voice made me freeze. I flinched when he dropped a heavy arm over my chest, fingers curling on the hem of my t shirt and tugging.
“Let me go , Jungkook.” I said sharply, heart pounding. Not tonight, I thought miserably.
He laughed, cruel and loud.
“Go where? My wife. You’re my wife.”
I bit my lips.
This was it.
The worst part of him getting drunk.
Alcohol brought out the worst in men and it didn’t get much worse than this.
I made to move away, begging that he wouldn’t pull me back.
The voice. An Alpha’s voice. I shuddered as his fingers curled on my wrist, yanking hard.
It was always quick.
Drunk out of his mind, Jungkook had no finesse. Strength made up for the lack of grace and I squeezed my eyes shut when he ripped the shirt off me. Fingers curled over my breasts, squeezing lightly. I willed myself not to start screaming.
Deep breaths , i reminded myself as he climbed over me, yanking on my shorts and pulling them off my ankles. Deep breaths and this will be over before you know it.
He was heavy and too out of it to be careful. In a bid to get it over with quicker, I spread my legs, letting him slot between my thighs.
The first push inside always stung. The second sometimes even more.
I stayed perfectly still, staring up at the ceiling and occasionally the mirror on the opposite wall, reflecting the portrait of his wife.
It felt horrendous, lying here letting Jungkook fuck into my pliant body, while his wife’s picture hung over the bed. Horrendous but inevitable. I was married to him. He was my Alpha. He owned my body and there was no court that would rule in my favor if i called this rape. Despite the alcohol, tonight he seemed to go on for hours and I started feeling slightly hysterical and terrified. Would he knot me... I couldn’t take a knot unless I was on my heat.
When he finally lurched inside me, I shuddered. I could feel him spill into me, wet and messy and sticky. He stayed draped over me for a full minute or so, till he softened, slipping out of me. I stayed still as he groaned and moved away.
“I’m sorry...Sooah.” He grumbled and I stayed curled on the bed, fighting tears.
I stared at the ceiling, feeling bereft. It was humiliating to admit but for some reason, I missed the weight of him on me, when he rolled away. It kept me grounded at least . This was the only Jungkook i could connect to and it was unhealthy and terrible and awful and yet somehow the one thing that made this marriage real.
What on earth was i doing with my life?
What was I doing this for?
For freedom, I told myself. There was freedom at the end of this miserable existence.
Because my father had promised me that if i did this, he would let me go back to Busan. Back to my mother. Just one year of this and i would be free. And I was already a quarter of a way done.
Mina’s low cry broke me out of my thoughts.
Rolling over, I got on my hands and knees and gripped the bed. I felt like I’d been run over by a truck, my insides stinging and rubbed raw. I was never aroused during sex and he was too drunk to ever care. The burn was unbearable and I would need a Tylenol if I wanted to get any sleep tonight.
i stayed kneeling for a second, staring at the man on the bed. He was already asleep, lips parted and breathing the syllables of his dead wife’s name and I fought the nausea.
And then my gaze flitted to the framed photo over his bed, his wife and him wrapped around each other in a hug, laughing and carefree in their joy. The JungKook in the picture was kind and in love. The Jungkook on the bed was a monster driven by alcohol and lust
I stared at her and sighed.
“If you’re going to hover over him for the rest of his life at least make sure he doesn’t choke on his own vomit tonight...” I muttered, before moving out of the room and into the nursery.
“I’m so sorry, Heejin-ah..” Namjoon looked absolutely devastated as he came into the kitchen where i was making breakfast.
“He’s in no shape to go to work today.” i muttered and Namjoon sighed.
“Jin hyung had a concert last night and Jimin and i had tickets. I turned my phone off... The driver was supposed to take Jungkook home but I think those friends of his must’ve pulled him along. “
“They probably just wanted him to pay for the night. The place is crazy expensive.” Jimin muttered, moving to the bedroom and peering in.
“It alright. I’m used to this..just keep an eye on him. No point sending him to therapy and trying to get him help if he keeps getting black out drunk.”
“Are you alright?” Namjoon stepped in closer, hands reaching out to gently touch my arm. I pulled away, flustered.
“I’m fine.” I refused to meet his eyes.
“You look tired. You need a break. Can i take you out to lunch?”
And there it was. The look of hopeful interest. It was suffocating. I fought the irritation. It wasn’t fair to Namjoon. He was a gentleman. So polite and so good to me. My demons were my own. Just because I was cut deep, i couldn’t go around bleeding on people who hadn’t held the knife.
“Mina needs me.” i said curtly.
It was a shield. A shield that kept me from the world.
She held my heart in her hands and when I had to leave her it would destroy whatever was left of my heart but that was fine.
That was fine because I knew that things weren’t meant to last. And just because there was an end in sight, it didn’t mean i couldn’t enjoy the present. This moment with her in my life, the sweet scent of her baby powder clinging to my skin.
“She’s not going to miss you for a couple of hours, Heejina... Let Jin hyung or Hobi watch her for a few hours. We can go check out that Lebanese restaurant I was telling you about the other day.”
“Hyung....” Jungkook’s voice made both of us look back. He looked terrible, still in just his boxers but he had pulled on a white shirt over his head.
He stared at me, eyes steady and unwavering.
“I’m sorry about last night Heejinah...” He said evenly.
The token apology and I knew Namjoon and Jimin probably thought he was taking about the drinking.
I nodded curtly.
“Its alright. I’ve sent your suit off to the dry cleaner’s.” i said , going back tot he cutting board and finishing up the carrots. “ Your in-laws called when you were asleep. They have some stuff of your wife’s that they’re planning to give away. They want you to take a look and see if you need anything. You can either go visit them or I’ll just ask them to send pictures, if you’re not up for that....And also your parents called as well..... They told me they want to meet us, on your birthday next week. “
“You should go out and have lunch with hyung. “ Jungkook’s voice made me pause.
“If you don’t want me here , i can just go for a walk with Mina. We won’t bother you.”
“My daughter doesn’t bother me. “ He snapped.
But you do. He didn’t say it but i heard it nonetheless. Flushing, I scooped up the carrots and dropped it into the pot boiling on the stove.
“ i haven’t visited Lisa in a while. I’ll just go meet her.” I said quietly. “ Will you be alright with Mina...”
Jungkook nodded .
Bowing lightly to Namjoon, I moved to the nursery to get dressed.
“You slept with him? “ Lisa frowned, sniffing around me and I flinched.
“Can you smell him on me? i showered.” I whispered
“Not very much but it’s there. Why did you do that, Heejina...” She frowned and I bit my lips.
“ He's my husband.” I reminded her. It was an excuse I’d used way too often and she looked just as irritated as the first time.
“You need the pill?” she asked casually. Birth control pills didn’t work on my body. But the morning after pill did. i had a lot of those and kept running out because Jungkook couldn’t keep his hands off alcohol or me.
“I have a couple more left.” I said softly, staring out into the streets through the glass wall of the café we were in. People walked about, happy and laughing and seemingly with purpose.
it was hard to hate my husband because of the simple fact that I had known him, before his wife’s death. The Jungkook in my memories was an incredibly sweet, incredibly kind man. Someone who went out of his way to help the people around him.
A beautiful intelligent young man, capable of boundless love and filled with so much joy. And that part of him was still in there somewhere. Buried for now under the rubble of his destroyed marriage and the grief from losing his wife but it was still there.
He was still somewhere in there and he just had to dig his way out to safety. Someday he would.
i was sure of it.
“Hoseok told me that there’s a dinner with the Sankim Group this weekend? I’ll be there too. We can meet up. Do you have something to wear? Or do you want me to pick you up on the day of?”
I nodded and turned to her.
“That would help.” I nodded.
“Jin hyung will be watching Mina, then?”
I nodded again. Lisa was staring at me with that same worried look and i fought to keep my expression even.
“You should stop sleeping with him. “ She gave me a worried look and I smiled, reaching out and squeezing her hand.
As a beta, Lisa would never understand what it was like. She had the liberty to say no. I didn’t. Consent for me was a one time thing. The moment i stood in that church and let him mark me, i had consented for life.
That was just how it was.
“You look lovely.” Namjoon gave me a wide smile, holding his hand out and helping me out of the car. Jungkook stood three feet away, sober and sharp in a three piece suit, hair styled perfectly and face serenely perfect. He looked beautiful and in his element, from the crisp cut of his perfectly tailored jacket, to the long lines of his legs and the perfect polish of his 3000$ shoes.
A wedding gift from my father, in addition to the 57 million dollars that had been transferred to Jungkook’s account. The money went straight into the company of course and Jungkook had spent the past three months revamping his company with a speed that was enviable. Jeon Electronics, once on the verge of bankruptcy, was thriving now and my hefty dowry was to be thanked.
But the money wasn’t mine. It was my father’s. The deal was between my father and him. Lee Shin had seen the potential in the young man and he knew that Jungkook was going to take the company to soaring new heights. He just wanted a share of the inevitable success and glory that lay in Jungkook’s future.
For eight hours a day , Jungkook operated at his best, finished deals and drew up plans and proposals that completely revolutionized the electronic market and then, when the day ended, he crumbled beneath the weight of his grief.
It was unfortunate that I very seldom got to see this side of him.
“Thank you.” i said quietly, running a palm down my thigh, the fabric of the dress shining in the golden glow of fairy lights. The company dinner, hosted on the lawn of a posh Resort on the river, was filled to the brim with businessmen and their wives and I hung back with Namjoon because I was probably the only omega here.
Jungkook had taken me around once, right after we arrived , introducing me to the investors and the potential investors as well. I did my part, bowing and smiling and staying quiet while he talked. Jungkook had kept his hands on my lower back the entire time, barely there and yet somehow unbearable.
“Your wife died quite recently, did she not?” Someone asked and i froze.
Jungkook nodded and bowed his head.
“So who was the woman with you?” Clearly this was either the most oblivious woman on the planet who had lived under a rock the past three months or she just wanted to watch Jungkook lose his composure.
“Who is that woman? “ i asked urgently and Namjoon grimaced.
“Ana. She’s one of our main competitors.”
“Thought so...” I grabbed the whiskey glass out of Namjoon’s hands and took a deep gulp quickly.
“Whoa, what was that?” He laughed.
“Liquid courage. “ I grimaced at the taste and carefully plucked my way past a few people.
“You married so soon after?” The woman’s voice was grating on my nerves and i didn’t miss the way Jungkook’s fingers were beginning to curl a little too tight around his champagne flute.
“Well, sometimes you just look at someone and know...isn’t that right darling?” I smiled wide, wrapping an arm around his waist and leaning into his chest. He was ridiculously tall and I felt dwarfed in comparison. Jungkook hugged me close, instinctively and his lips parted a bit in shock.
And then he smiled, a soft little upturn of his red lips that didn’t reach his eyes.
“Oh, yes. I... she won me over very quickly with those lovely grey eyes .”
Ana’s eyes snapped to mine.
Grey eyes. The feature that marked me as an Omega.
Her nostrils flared in disgust and she bowed stiffly. I watched her leave , feeling both happy and hurt.
I pulled away from him.
“you didn’t have to tell her about my eyes.” I whispered sharply.
“it is what stands out about you.” He said with a shrug.
I exhaled. It was an insult even if if it was unintended.
“How much longer must we stay here?” I asked.
“ Are you bored?”
“I miss Mina...” I said defiantly.
He gave me a look.
“Don’t get too attached to her. You know this charade has to end. .” He warned me.
I stared at him.
“ Yes, but she doesn’t. So I’m not going to give her anything but the love she deserves.”
I made to move away but he reached out and gripped my arm.
“Only her mother can give her that. And you are not her mother! ” He said sharply and I reeled back like he had slapped me.
I felt my heart ache at the uncalled for vehemence. Especially after the three months I’d spent raising his daughter like me own.
“That’s cruel, even for you.” i choked out and he swore, letting go of me.
“I... I’m sorry.”
“You should be. I’m going to ask Namjoon to drive me back. Don’t get drunk. “
i turned on my heel and stormed away.
To hell with him.
Author’s Note : Well..... I recently realized that I’ve been writing a lot of sex centric fics and while those are fun, my first love is definitely, the gut wrenching pain that comes from angst. So I’m going to try and make this as painful for everyone involved as possible. Thank you for coming to my TED talk.