I was thinking about that on my walk home yesterday.
Spending too much time worrying about which answer is "correct" really distracts you from living your reality, because it puts you at a crossroads every time. Can I think this thought? Can I feel this way about this character or this other species? Should I behave this way? Should I want this? Should I believe that? Is this worth adopting into my personality even though it might not be real?
All of that stuff will never get anywhere. I've been asking myself all these and more for 17 years! You have to stay away from this mental trap, and if you're already in it then you need to get out.
"What if I make the wrong choice because this isn't real?"
There is no right or wrong choice. Until you do away with that then you're gonna be stuck and frustrated and confused and indecisive forever.
I would always ask myself if I should feel this or that about certain characters, and it would change again and again over the years as my internal canon did. Nothing wrong with that part. The part that sucked and made me unhappy was that I would always tell myself that I was really for sure right this time, I knew the Truth, I got the Kin Memories and made the serotonin and I vowed it would never change.
It doesn't work that way, not really. If you truly believe in your deepest gut flora that you were definitely Character Y in a past life and in love with Character Z, then that's nice, I'm not here to change your mind! But until that belief is proven beyond a shadow of a doubt, you can absolutely leave room in your heart for the possibility that it isn't exactly how you think it is, and that it doesn't make you less you.
If you keep finding yourself at that crossroads of weighing your feelings like options in a game, consider that you're allowed to just pick the one that feels right (or both, fuck it) and not worry about which one is magically encoded in the multiverse. There's a very good chance that none of them are.
Did I actually marry Orihime and have a kid, or was I right about her being trans? Did I even end up with her, or Aizen? Instead of stressing about soulmates and which one is correct and who I might be hurting if I'm wrong, I let my answer change based on how I feel that day. It literally doesn't matter, because my feelings are legitimate even if they're contradictory. The chances are very good that none of this fiction is real outside of my head, in fact, so the way my canon changes in step with my personality and attitude is always right no matter what it does. Either way, for anyone, time spent unable to make any choice at all is pretty unsatisfying.