My best friend, alright like only friend stopped talking to me for awhile. I knew something was wrong but I was doing my usual (ignoring problems) and I figured she’d get over it eventually. I had asked her to hang and to get weed (her boyfriends the plug) several times, she couldn’t. Still I figured she’d get over it eventually whatever it was. Well after a month of me swinging by just to pick up she finally asks me to stay and hang out, she was hella drunk though.
So I ask her what the fucks been up, and mentioned how she specifically didn’t invite me to hang out with everyone on Snapchat. And she says it’s all because she’s jealous of me, jealous of my body, how I was raised, how easy everything is for me, how I’m going to college and have my shit together. And she was pissed because of my friendship with her boyfriend. Of how me and him have good conversations when we all hang out, and she feels like she can’t be apart of the conversation.
She also decided to mention how when we first met she pitied me because I had no friends and was socially awkward. Which hella hurt my feelings and sparked a whole freak out about what people thought of me back then.
But now, now I was the one being hit on, who feigned confidence and knew how to talk to guys at the bar. And that makes her feel upset, I mean shit I’d feel upset too. But we’re best fucking friends.
A best fucking friend who pity-friended me. Tf is that. Did she know she tore down part of that confidence I had built up? She made me doubt myself, doubt how other people perceived me, did everyone pity me because I don’t have friends? Because I’m weird? Am I that weird kid nobody liked but pretended too? Fuck how do I get over this, and fuck anixiety for all this and fuck her for being jealous and a shit friend sometimes.
But I have no other friends. She is my only one. And she is a good friend sometimes. And I think I am one of her best friends. And she’s my plug. I think i’ll keep ignoring it and stick around. After all we’re best friends.