Just wanted to introduce you to a few of my best friends. They live at Mt. McLoughlin and Lake Applegate if you need to find them.
🌲 #art #paint #painting #acrylic #night #trees #cloud #forest #sky #moon #star
- Marion Peck.
Some of my favorites from the last few months
More from last weekend 🌩
Two weeks later, Benjy has a routine he enjoys for the first time in his life. During the week, Forest sleeps over. When Forest is not at the apartment, Benny spends his time making it look nice. He’d always had to clean at the Blacks, and it was actually quite a soothing activity for him, a tiny slice of control. Then, when it was getting close to five, Benjy would start dinner. Forest subscribed to one of those meal delivery kits, so it was easy enough-and Benjy was finding he really enjoyed cooking as well. He’d mentioned this in passing to Forest over lemon chicken and the next day bags of groceries and cookbooks were at the door, and Benjy made his first meal all on his own.
After dinner they enjoyed each other’s company, Forest usually stripping Benjy naked as quickly as he could. They had sex pretty much anywhere and everywhere, but Benjy’s favorite moments came after. When Forest would pull him close in bed, when they’d shower together and get cleaned up, when their hands came together as they settled on the couch. Passion followed by total tenderness-Benjy couldn’t believe it. He was so swept up, happy, actually happy for the first time in his memory, that Benjy forgot to look for the catch.
Benjy makes risotto for dinner and it’s even better than he expected, he smiles to himself while he tastes the sauce, excited for Forest to try it. As if on queue, the front door slams, announcing his boyfriend’s arrival.
“Hi!” Benjy calls, grinning as he turns the corner. “How was your day? I made something new for-“
“Shut up and strip.”
Benjy freezes, the coldness in Forest’s voice is nothing new, but it’s new coming from him.
Forest takes off his suit jacket, tension rolling off of him as he glares at Benjy.
“Are you fucking stupid or something? I’ve had an absolute shit day and I don’t want to hear you talk about whatever the hell you did, I want to fuck you fast and hard until I feel better.”
Benjy laughs humorlessly, his skin prickling as he prepares for an argument.
“Well I don’t want you to fuck me if you’re gonna be like this, how about that?”
Forest’s hands are around his throat so fast that Benjy doesn’t even register that he’s choking until he tries to take a breath.
The blue in his boyfriend’s eyes is almost entirely replaced by pupil. He was high, Benjy would learn later, hear the insistence that the drugs are what made him do that, that Forest would never do that in his right mind-and, foolishly, Benjy would believe this until he was given the physical proof otherwise.
“I don’t think you get a fucking say in the matter.” Forest growls, his grip tightening as Benjy struggles helplessly, trying unsuccessfully to get his hands off of his throat. “I own you, Benjamin, don’t you remember? Four thousand pounds and then some. You’re mine, when I want, where I want, and whenever I want-got it?”
Benjy nods furiously, or as furious as he can with two hands wrapped around his neck. Forest releases him without another word, and Benjy feels his cold stare watch him as he struggles to regain his proper breath. Still gasping for air, Benjy pulls his t-shirt off over his head and disrobes in record time. Forest’s fingertip marks bloom into bruises as he fucks Benjy hard up against the living room wall, grunting and smacking his ass whenever Benjy starts to shake. When he finishes, Forest pulls out roughly, not knowing or caring that Benjy didn’t even come close. Without another word, Forest redoes his fly and turns on his heel, leaving the apartment with a loud bang of the front door. When he hears the lock click, Benjy sinks to the floor, pulling his knees up to his naked chest and wrapping his arms around himself, willing the panic attack rattling in his chest to go away. It doesn’t. And, naked and used on the floor of his own living room, is the first time Benjy Fenwick realizes his new paradise might come with a catch.
The next day, seven bouquets of red roses were delivered. Benjy was arranging them on the kitchen counter when Forest came through the front door and begged him on his knees for forgiveness. Promises that couldn’t be kept were made, pleas to stay were uttered and Benjy agreed-it’s not like he had a choice in the matter. Forest cried, full body wracking sobs, when he saw the bruises on Benjy. Stories were told, of conversion therapy and the drugs he’d gotten addicted to after to help deal with the physical and mental pain. About his problem that he was so close to controlling. Lies were told; “Benjy, I love you very much.”
Forest didn’t love him. Benjy knew that now. Forest loved what he could do to him. Still, he seemed sorry. His touch was so gentle. His eyes were so blue. It was easy, easier than almost anything else in the world, to believe Forest’s lies; mostly because Benjy so desperately wanted them to be true.
But at his foster home before the Blacks, Benjy had seen first hand that once someone starts hurting you, they don’t stop.
He could leave, Benjy thinks dully as he stares up at the ceiling that night. Forest is sound asleep beside him-their sex that night had been sweet and slow, with Forest letting Benjy come first-another aspect to the apology he was sure. But where would he go? Barty probably already have someone else his room-and even if he hadn’t, he was in Forest’s pocket. It’s not like he has anywhere else, any skills to do anything else. Gideon would let him crash for a few days, maybe-same with Andy. But then what? The street? A park bench? Let himself get arrested just to have a place to sleep? Nausea overcomes him when he realizes that Forest has him trapped-and Benjy has a sinking suspicion that his boyfriend knew exactly what he was doing by taking Benjy in. He had no other options, nowhere to go, nowhere to run; he was Forest’s, whether he liked it or not.
A few months later, they were in an upswing-Benjy’s black eye was finally gone but Forest still felt enough guilt that they were still having fun.
“Benjy, I’m having a friend over for dinner tonight.” Forest said between kisses on his spine that morning. Benjy stiffens but tries to keep the worry out of his voice.
“Oh? Okay just tell me when to get out of here-“
“No, silly.” Forest says, turning Benjy over to kiss him properly on the mouth. “Reggie…understands our arrangement. He wants to meet you.”
Something blooms in Benjy’s chest despite himself. Isn’t this what normal people did? People who had boyfriends that didn’t also have wives met those boyfriends’ friends. People who weren’t people like Benjy got to do this all the time. Forest thought he was worth introducing to someone. Benjy can’t understand why this matters to him, why he cares about why Forest thinks of him; maybe it’s that semblance of normalcy, maybe it’s that Benjy really does love him. Maybe it’s both. When things were good between them, they were incredible, but the lows were dangerously low. Maybe this…maybe meeting one of Forest’s friends would level it out. A step towards what they could and should be. Benjy grins.
“What do you want me to make?”
“This is really great, Benjamin.” Reggie says, wiping his mouth with his napkin. Benjy hates that Forest told him to call him by his full name but he knows better than to argue.
“Thank you so much.” He says instead, smiling shyly at Forest over their plates of the carbonara he made before looking at Reggie in thanks.
“I’ve found I quite enjoy cooking over these past few months, it’s fun to be able to make something that other people can enjoy.”
Benjy stands from the dining table and starts clearing the plates. He hears the two of them start talking when he walks away and Benjy smiles to himself, hoping a bit conceitedly that they’re talking about him. Forest was proud of him-tonight made that clear, and that pride made the pain of the past few weeks lessen. Benjy did love Forest-he realized that watching him talk with Reggie about some business thing that went completely over Benjy’s head; he was so smart, and when he wanted to, he loved Benjy right back. Benjy hadn’t had anything close to this ever in his life-the violence was just a bump, a hurdle they would have to deal with. It really wasn’t anything much worse than what Benjy had had to deal with when he was working the streets and the clubs. It was quite the small price to pay for happiness, to pay for someone who loved him and wanted to show him off.
He turns around at the sound of his name and smiles brilliantly at Forest, who gives him a soft smile back. A smile that told Benjy he really did love him.
“I’ve got to make a call.” Forest holds up his phone and grimmaces, letting Benjy know without saying that it’s Tina, his wife. “Hopefully it won’t take too long but, once you’re done, mind keeping Reggie entertained?”
“Of course.” Benjy says with a smile, wracking his brain for something smart to discuss with Forest’s impressive friend. Forest taps his lips and Benjy grins, crossing the kitchen to give him a quick kiss before he returns to cleaning up.
Benjy is hand washing the pan he’d cooked the noodles in when strong hands grab onto his waist. He chuckles softly.
“That was fast.”
Benjy spins around, panic rising in his chest when he looks into Reggie’s eyes. He laughs, awkward, uncomfortable, trying to work out a logical reason why Forest’s friend would be holding his hips.
“Um, what are you doing?”
“Come on.” Reggie says, almost conspiratorially. “Forest told me what you were before. It’s not like it’d be anything new.”
“Let go of me.” Benjy says, his voice growing hard, panic turning into adrenaline as he realizes he’s backed up against the counter and sink. “Please.”
Reggie just laughs, his fingers digging into Benjy’s skin and hurting.
“Come on, it’ll be quick, it’s not like he’d mind-”
“Forest!” Benjy yells, pushing at Reggie fairly fruitlessly-he’s a fucking brick wall. Forest appears almost immediately, and even though he looks pissed, Benjy feels relief flood him. Reggie lets go of him instantly and Benjy sprints across the kitchen, all but crashing into Forest as he buries his face in his chest, breathing hard and shaking. It takes Benjy a full minute to register that both of the other men are laughing.
“What-?” Benjy pulls away and Forest grins at him, his hand cupping the back of his head lovingly.
“I’m-I’m sorry I interrupted your call but Reggie was trying to-uh, get me to have sex with him. And I-”
Forest cuts him off by kissing him.
Benjy’s forehead wrinkles, looking now between Forest and Reggie.
Forest’s hands settle easily on his waist, making Benjy’s already crawling skin feel worse, but he doesn’t move away.
“When I told Reggie that you were a prostitute when I found you, he told me there’s no way you’d stay loyal. I said you would, you proved me right, Benjy.”
Forest kisses him again but Benjy can’t get the bitter taste of the way Forest said ‘prostitute’ out of his mouth.
“You did so good.”
“Sorry, Benjamin.” Reggie says sheepishly before shaking his head in disbelief at Forest. “You’re so fucking lucky, mate.”
Benjy isn’t sure what to do other than stand there and let Forest hold him.
“Give us a minute, Reg? I want to talk to him about what we discussed earlier.”
Benjy feels like he isn’t even in the room, but he relaxes slightly when Forest starts rubbing slow circles on his back.
“You did so good.” Forest says again, taking Benjy’s face in both of his hands.
“I’m sorry if we scared you.”
“You did.” Benjy hates how small his voice sounds, but he manages a small smile when Forest tips his face up to look at him properly. “But it’s okay.”
“You’re incredible.” Forest says before kissing him again. “And you make me so happy, Benjy. So happy. And there’s something you can do that’ll make me…happy isn’t even the word. It’s something I’ve wanted for a very long time.”
Something sinks in Benjy and somehow, he knows where this is going. But he keeps his smile in place.
“You’ve given me everything.” Benjy says, his voice barely a whisper. “I’ll do anything you want.”
“Anything?” Forest says teasingly, but Benjy nods, serious. “Anything.”
Forest looks into Benjy’s eyes, and all Benjy can see is lust.
“I want you to let Reggie fuck you.” Forest says, almost breathless. “I want to watch someone else want you while knowing that you’re mine, I wanna see what it looks like when someone else takes you knowing that you’re never gonna be theirs. God-” Forest grinds up slightly into Benjy, grinning at him. “Just to see how hot you are, how badly everyone wants you and knowing that I get to have you whenever I want-”
Forest didn’t want him to stop being a prostitute, he just wanted Benjy to be one on Forest’s terms. Thankfully, one side effect of his line of work is that Benjy has gotten very good at repressing the urge to cry.
“Okay.” Benjy says, smiling and kissing Forest back passionately.
That’s about all it takes. Forest takes him into the bedroom and settles on one of the arm chairs across from the bed. Reggie comes in and the same hands that had terrified Benjy moments ago grip him in a way that could be mistaken for tenderness. As Reggie starts to kiss his neck, Benjy looks over his shoulder and makes eye contact with Forest, who grins at him.
And for the first time, Benjy wonders if love is even a real thing.
Painted some old records :)
you walk into the woods, following rumors of a terrible beast. as the light of the sun begins to wane, you see something in the distance. You take out your binoculars and stare. It is me, covered in berry juices and scratches, snarfing down raspberries faster than you’ve ever seen, just really going wild, berries never touching my lips yet disappearing nonetheless into my cavernous maw. it impresses and terrifies you. You wonder why i am dressed like garfield.
i walked with you once upon a dream
I drew a random wild fox for my godmother ‘s B-day,’cause she really likes foxes ✨
beautiful little path
some background practise (:
[click for better quality]
New project im sooo excited:3