#freakypseudwriter Tumblr posts

  • historicfailure
    01.01.2021 - 2 weeks ago

    Recap 2021 and Plans 2022

    Hello there! With New Year’s today, it’s time to talk about the last year and my sudden disappearance, as well as plans and ideas for the future of 2022 (yes, I actually have plans. Also yes, I’m just as surprised as you might be.)

    Recap 2021:

    First, the official part. According to my AO3, I have...

    published 338.441 words this year

    participated in the Iruka Week 2021 with 7 entries

    finished three long-term works, which would be “Build A Close Connection”, “Communication is Key” and “Soul Searching”.

    Second, the inofficial part aka the explanation why I vanished. I have to apologize for that as I dropped the ball on “The Forest Cat Café” without any explanation or warning at all. Reason was that I had to move around a lot for my job in the last two months of the year, as in, switching stations/offices every two weeks. Plus, the workload picked up a lot.

    Now, I hope I can settle again into a routine as I’m now again for a longer time in one place and don’t have to move around so much. Which brings me to my next point...

    Plans 2022:

    As you might know, I have two works currently running. Those are “The Forest Cat Café” and “Hanahaki - Reprise”. I will start posting at the 8th of January, with the next chapter of “Hanahaki - Reprise”. The week after that (the 15th of January), I will post the next chapter for FCC and continue in a two week rhythm. I apologize again for the long wait on those chapters.

    Next, my planned projects and goals for 2022. No surprise there, I want to finish the two fics I mentioned above this year. This is definitely doable as FCC is at least in my head “done”, as in, I planned the rest of the fic for myself, and the last chapter of “Hanahaki - Reprise” is... still being worked on -.-

    Also, even though you guys probably don’t want to hear it anymore, I will continue to work on the requests in my inbox. I started some of them already, but... I’m a procrastinating POS sometimes, you know that by now -.-

    Then, I would like to go forward with last year’s 1000-Follower-Celebration. The price for that were three physical copies of “End My Loneliness” which I would like to send this year to three randomly selected winners. I will make an announcement for that selection when the books are done.

    Also, my own works and ideas. I have some very good ideas, I hope, such as the Attorney!Madara x Reader fic or a Historical AU with a Kakashi x Reader fic mixed into it. Those two are longer ideas which I already started/Planned out meticulously, and I have high hopes, especially for the first one. You can always expect shorter fics in between, as I can’t guarantee when I get another idea ^^’‘

    Last, but not least, I want to talk about other possibilities outside of Tumblr. With the latest iOS-tagging ban debacle, I don’t want to rely on Tumblr solely anymore. I won’t leave it, don’t get me wrong, but branch out to have the same level of... well, communication to people who enjoy my fics. The first other platform coming to mind would be Discord. I wuld be able to still make announcements for my fics, notify members about delays or other stuff, as well as answer some questions quicker than here on Tumblr. Now, I won’t suddenly start a Discord out of the blue, but want to ask you guys if that would be something you are interested in. Please let me know how you think about joining such a Discord channel. Any feedback is appreciated.

    ~ X ~

    Now, a last point which is personally very important to me. I wanted to say Thank You to you all. Without your support, my blog wouldn’t be anything. I never would have thought that people would enjoy my fics so much, or that I would one day even start posting fanfic, and through this hobby I met so many incredible, creative, wonderful people. Thank you all for the support, your love for my work, the comments, likes and reblogs, and that you all enjoy my stupid ramblings ^^ Happy New year’s to you all! All the best of wishes to you! :D

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  • historicfailure
    18.11.2021 - 2 monts ago
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  • historicfailure
    29.10.2021 - 2 monts ago

    Weekly Heads-Up...

    will happen today, as the last one is later, but hey! For the next one, I’m really early!

    ...

    Yeah, moving on

    Coming Up:

    Listen, I’m an idiot. I didn’t realize the Indra Sequel was proofread, so I waited for anything to happen and not communicating like an adult and simply asking... that’s why nothing got posted last week -.- But it was finished, and it will come this Saturday instead.

    NOT Coming Up: (this needs to be a category at this point -.-)

    the 13. chapter of the Forest Cat Café. My apology for this time is actually for once a really good one. I’m moving offices again, and will spend the next two months running around and trying to figure out where am I even supposed to go, because my job has fully functioning adults (such as myself) in the higher positions and I have no idea what am I even going to do until Christmas.

    Working On: (What am I not working on? That would be more fitting, again)

    in order, without any preamble

    The 13. chapter of the Forest Cat Café

    The next chapter of Communication is Key

    Working on the long promised, probably nearly forgotten Baker!Reader x Kakashi request

    A Mershark!Kakashi request

    The Attorney!Madara fic, which will be long and disgustingly drawn-out and detailed (you know, the usual with me)

    I’m a little confused and run around like a headless chicken for weeks now, so sorry for not updating as much and not communicating better there. I have the feeling that my RL, after being in a coma for so long, is now trying to drown me in a way. Lots of things going on all of a sudden, lots of things to organize, little time to myself and not much of a mood to do much beside binge watching mindless sitcoms, eating junk food and not going stir crazy in the meantime. I’m just sorry for that and I hope I can get back on track soon, especially with FCC, as I really want to wrap this fic up.

    Overall, I might talk about my ongoing projects a little more, if people are interested. Things like how the progress is (as the little updates with the heads-ups were pretty irregular in the end), what my current direction is, where I might go with it and so on. An expanded FAQ of some kind? I also thought shortly about making a Discord server for more direct contact with people who want to write, create or just interact with each other, but that is just hazy, befuddled, muddy dreaming at this point. (Also, idk, me streaming games occasionally when I need some downtime sounded really appealing, or even me streaming trying to write lol)

    Idk, just lots of trying to come up with something to... better this blog? My writing? My fanfiction? Because ofc I want to become better and want to give you guys more insight into my thought processes and progress as well, as I receive lots of comments on how to write, and also would like to get to know more people. (Maybe the Lockdown over here is finally getting to me lel).

    To cut it short:

    I’m really confused atm and I’m sorry for that

    I will try to return to a more regular schedule in a bit

    lots of RL stuff going on

    thoughts about improving the blog aka trying to expand my reach in ways which don’t require money from people who want to interact with me

    possibly more content outside of fanfiction big fat question mark

    Yeah. That’s where it’s at atm. Sorry for the ramble and the lateness of everything. Thank you guys for supporting me all this time and for all the patience, I’m trying my best and I just have the feeling it’s not good enough. Aaah. Fuck. Sorry, my imposter/inferiority complex is showing again ^^’‘

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  • historicfailure
    17.10.2021 - 3 monts ago

    Weekly Heads-Up

    Coming Up:

    this week, the sequel for “Til Death Do Us Part” will come. This time, for sure. Yes ^^’‘

    Working On:

    the 13th chapter of “The Forest Cat Café”! :D

    also, the next chapter for “Communication is Key” ^^ It will be certainly interesting ;D

    also, with the next overdue chapter of “Hanahaki - Reprise”, I’m still working away on the last chapter of that fic...

    That would be it for this week! Sorry for dropping off the face of earth with the supposedly last update, I have to move again soon and that takes up lots of my time and concentration ^^’‘

    Thank you all for the continued support! See you all next week and stay safe and soun you all! :D

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  • historicfailure
    05.10.2021 - 3 monts ago

    Weekly Heads-Up

    Coming Up:

    the small sequel to “Til Death Do Us Part” ;D Just the smallest of all sequels, but a cute little thingy for in between and softening the ending of the first part a bit more ;D

    Working On:

    the 12th chapter of The Forest Café! Yamato’s own backstory needs to be fleshed out and I only hope I can make a convincing case for all characters there ^^’’

    the last chapter of Hanahaki - Reprise! Also a fic which soon will be/needs to be updated, and I plan to make it happen, no matter what ;D

    also, I had a cute little one-shot idea for Yamato: just him and his S/O spending the day in bed, lazing around and doing nothing else but sleeping and cuddling T^T9 

    I’m also working away on the next chapter for Communication is Key, and hoooh boy, that shit will be emotional >-<

    That would be it for this week! Sorry again that the heads-up comes this late, I don’t even really have an apology... yet again. Hopefully, the content makes up for that. Thank you all so much for the continued support, stay safe and sound, and see you all this Saturday! :D

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  • historicfailure
    26.09.2021 - 3 monts ago

    Weekly Heads-Up

    Coming Up:

    The next chapter of The Forest Cat Café! The end of the summer arc, which includes some alcohol, dancing and some embarrassment ;D Coming on Saturday!

    The next chapter of Communication is Key... Though I’m not done with it at the moment and will not be done tomorrow, but I’m trying to maybe finish it around Wednesday :/ Not satisfied with my work at the moment in that regard.

    Working On:

    The 12th chapter of the Forest Cat Café! And I think it’s slowly time to introduce some of Yamato’s backstory to the mix ;D

    As stated, the next chapter of Communication is Key ^^’‘

    Also, the last chapter of Hanahaki - Reprise is still in the works! I have to check again when the next one needs to be posted ^^’‘

    The flu has taken me out of my rhythm, just as much as the vacation/free time I had. This has now ended and I think I can return to a more regular/regulated schedule once more (even though that one has already suffered before -.-).

    Thank you all for the ongoing support, all the nice asks I have received over the last week, and I’m trying to work on the headcanon requests sitting in my inbox as well! I can’t say though when I will get to them as they are not my priority.

    Stay safe and sound you all and see you all hopefully Wednesday! If not, then Saturday! :D

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  • historicfailure
    18.09.2021 - 4 monts ago
    #hinata x reader #hinata x reader insert #hinata x self insert #hinata hyuuga #hinata hyuuga x reader #hinata hyuuga x reader insert #hinata hyuuga x self insert #Hinata Hyuga#Hyuuga Hinata#naruto fandom#naruto fanfiction#naruto fanfic#hinata scenario #hinata hyuuga scenario #hinata hyuuga headcanons #lemon#lemon scale #also on ao3 #historicfailure#freakypseudwriter
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  • historicfailure
    13.09.2021 - 4 monts ago

    Weekly Heads-Up

    After I dropped the ball on the last Heads-Up ^^’‘ Here another one, just to make sure I get back into the rhythm.

    Coming Up:

    a little super smutty thing I wrote in between to try something new ^^’‘ It will be a One-shot with Hinata... another one than I already announced a while ago ^^’‘ I hope you guys will like it! ;D

    Working On:

    the 11th chapter of “The Forest Cat Café” ^^ I said I had too many ideas for the lakeside-arc and thus, here we are with a third installment xD That will be the final one though, I promise! (I shouldn’t, and yet I do ^^’‘)

    I’m also working on the 5th and also hopefully last chapter of “Hanahaki - Reprise”! There will be angst and sweet sweet fluff involved. ;D

    Also, still working away on the Madara Lawyer fic, which is more taxing than expected ^^’‘ Logic isn’t my strong suit and Law and Law execution even less, so I have to do lots of research and check with what I’ve already written to make sure everything clicks together ^^’‘ It will take a while to get it right and up to the standard I want it to be.

    That would be it for this week! Lately I’ve been keeping up a stream of content, and I hope I can keep it up as long as it is possible ^^ Also, lots of people started following me lately, and I wanted to thank all of you for the continued support! It means so much to me to see this blog grow and people enjoy my work! :D

    See you all this week on Saturday! Stay safe and sound you all! :D

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  • historicfailure
    03.09.2021 - 4 monts ago

    Little taste of what is about to come...

    To give you all a little taste what to expect from the next chapter of “Hanahaki - Reprise”, here is a little snippet ^^

    ~ X ~

    “(Y/N)!” Before you could gather your wit or mind, Obito stepped closer. It seemed so surreal, you and him meeting in the middle of the city, when all that parted you was the air in between, and the rift you caused in order to protect yourself.

    Protect yourself. Yes. You had to do that once more. Who knew what would happen if he came too close? Maybe the pain would start now when he was close enough to touch you? Who knew? Hanahaki was not only a bitch, but a real mystery, still, even to you. 

    Out of instinct, you took a step back when he grew too close for comfort. A slight wrinkle in his eyebrows said enough, but he didn’t comment on your behavior. Thankfully.

    “How is it going?” 

    “Good.” You fiddled with the strap of your bag. “I’m… It’s going well. How are you?”

    “I’m also good.” His smile widened by a margin, only to drop just as fast. His hand flew up, buried itself in his hair to ruffle through it. “So… here for a shopping spree?”

    “No. I work around here.”

    “A new job?”

    “Yeah. The old one wasn’t for me, in the end.”

    Obito nodded. “That’s really good. They didn’t appreciate you there, anyway.” 

    “Oh. Okay. Uhm…” Quickly, you scrambled for something to say, anything to bridge the awkward silence growing. “How are you and Rin?”

    “Oh, yeah, yeah.” Obito looked… uncomfortable, all of a sudden. “It’s going… wonderful.”

    There was a pause in the sentence; one which told you so much and yet, not enough. But it wasn’t your place to ask and Obito didn’t seem to want to offer any kind of information, so you let it be. 

    Instead, you continued to smile awkwardly. “That’s… good. Very good. Good to see you again, Obito.”

    His smile turned more sincere in an instant. “It’s also good to see you, (Y/N). I didn’t…” He shook his head. “I don’t know what happened, but I just want to tell you that I’m sorry. For whatever I did. I… I want my best friend back.”

    ~ X ~

    I’m hyped for it ^^ See you all tomorrow! :D

    #snippet#hanahaki#historicfailure#freakypseudwriter#Obito #obito x reader #uchiha obito x reader #uchiha obito x reader insert #obito x self insert
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  • historicfailure
    29.08.2021 - 4 monts ago

    Weekly Heads-Up

    Coming Up:

    tomorrow, Monday: the next chapter of “Communication is Key”! I have to see if I can squeeze it in somewhere between work tasks, but if it doesn’t come tmorrow, I will post it Tuesday.

    This Saturday, the next (and late) chapter of “Hanahaki - Reprise” will be posted ^^

    Working On:

    the 10th chapter of “The Forest Cat Café” More summer fun and more halfnaked Yamato (sorry not sorry, I will see myself - just like the MC - to horny jail)

    the finishing touches of the 4th chapter of “Hanahaki - Reprise”. Soon I can start to work at the fifth and last chapter, which I can definitely stick to... for once ^^’‘ Maybe.

    The second chapter of the Attorney!Madara fic ^^ Even though posting is still far off, I am already hyped to write it. ^^

    Also, I’m already throwing together ideas for the next chapter of “Communication is Key” in preparation for next month!

    This would be it for this week! Only two more weeks to go, then I am on vacation for two weeks T^T9 Let’s see if I will be productive then... for once >-<

    Thank you all for the continued support! Stay safe and sound you all, and see you all tomorrow! :D

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  • historicfailure
    22.08.2021 - 4 monts ago

    Weekly Heads-Up

    Finally, I managed to write one again. Sigh, sorry for dropping the ball a bit, the stress in my life really got to me. Anyway... Good news!

    Coming Up:

    first, next Saturday I will post the overdue chapter of The Forest Cat Café! :D Some summer feelings, some closeness, some bonding! What else could we want (except for on-time posting...)

    then, the Saturday after that, the next chapter of Hanahaki - Reprise will follow! Basically, I will resume with my schedule ^^

    at the 30th of August, the next chapter of Communication is Key is due! It will be glorious, really soft, and yet I have managed to put in some angst yet again >-<

    Working On:

    the 10th chapter of The Forest Cat Café! More summer feelings and some... well, you guys will see ;D We see more of Yamato, quite literally!

    the next chapter of Hanahaki - Reprise! This will be quite angsty, with lots of feels, and all the drama!

    I also... well, finished the August prompt for Communication is Key, so I will start the September one. The prompts for the next month are “Fated/Dirty Little Secret” ... You guys can maybe see where this is going ;D

    Also, I’m trying to catch up on some other requests/fics I’m working on.

    And after all this time... you deserve some snippet of my upcoming updates/fics. Here is the start of the next chapter of Communication is Key! Let me know if you guys want to see some other snippets ^^

    ~ X ~

    Mission after mission after mission. Cursing under your breath, you looked at the new order in your hands, the handwriting on the scroll as neat and proper as the school report of a diligent student. Lately, there just wasn’t an end to it. Fuck, you wanted to relax a bit, did you really have to get injured for a few days off in the hospital?

    Since the dreaded heat wave, you were constantly on and about. A group of bandits terrorizing the defenseless outskirts of the Land of Fire, Kumogakure trying to instigate a minor incident at a political event,  missing-nin of different shinobi villages running rampage and causing destruction. Weeks of travelling back and forth, days of recon and spying, minutes of violence, only to return to the boring travels through nature. Just a week of spending in your bed, eating normal food instead of soldier bars, showering whenever you wanted, that would be heaven. 

    And Kakashi. Seeing Kakashi again would also be heaven. 

    A month had passed by since you met him on the clearing. The only thing left of that day were the nasty sunburn on your back and the pleasant, fuzzy feeling of being held in your sleep. Afterwards, the back-to-back missions started, leaving you no space to breathe or even think about Kakashi. Only sometimes, on long nights of missions with nothing to do but watch over the campside you and your team resided in, you managed to yearn and ache for his presence.

    Yes, you were that desperate. Yearning and aching. For his touch, his voice, his smile, everything about him. Your crush turned without your knowledge into a full-blown emotion; one you didn’t want and couldn’t name at the moment. It was so stupid to be dependent on somebody else to this capacity, but you couldn’t help it. Even now, as you walked back to your home, the dirt of your last missions not even washed off, you wished you could see him, just for a second.

    ~ X ~

    See you all next week! I’m very hyped to go back to posting a bit more again ^^ Stay safe and sound you all, and see you on Saturday! :D

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  • historicfailure
    10.08.2021 - 5 monts ago

    Weekly Heads-Up

    Again too late, and I’m sorry for that >-<

    Coming Up:

    the next chapter of “Hanahaki - Reprise”. More heartache, more conflict, and everything in between! :D

    Working On:

    still, the next chapter for The Forest Cat Café. Another reason why it didn’t come when I promised it is the length. Usually, I’m averaging with this fic at around 7 or 8 pages, and right now I’m at around 8 pages, but the chapter is maybe... 3/4s done? Maybe even only half done? I don’t know, but try to finish it for the week after the Reprise chapter.

    also working away on Hanahaki - Reprise ^^

    I’m also halfway done with the next chapter for “Communication is Key”, which will be overly fluffy and sweet and tender ;D that much I can already promise ^^

    That would be all this week! Sorry again for skipping out on FCC, I’m still trying to get used to the new office/colleagues and living again alone etc :/

    Thank you all again for the continued support! it means so much to me! :D See you all next week and until then, please stay safe and sound! ^^

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  • historicfailure
    03.08.2021 - 5 monts ago

    Weekly Heads-Up

    Coming Up:

    the 9th chapter of The Forest Cat Café! I’m still working on it, though, and I can only hope I can get it done on time >-< Coming (maybe) this Saturday!

    Working On:

    as stated, the 9th chapter of FCC ^^

    I’m also still working on Hanahaki - Reprise, and it’s steadily growing! Really happy about the progress there ^^

    also, I work away on the next chapter of Communication is Key, which is also lots of fun to write ^^ The next chapter will be unbearably... sweet? Bittersweet? Nah, mostly fluffy and smutty ;D More progress!

    Otherwise, I was unfortunately busy with moving yet again and getting used to my new work place. That is also the reason why this heads-up is again late. But for the next three months, I will stay in this one place, so I hope to get some peace and quiet to get my writing rhythm again going ^^

    Thank you all for the continued support! All the comments, kudos and reblogs are so very much appreciated! Also, thanks to all the new followers >-< This blog still continues to grow and it never fails to amaze me how many of you are out there, reading and (hopefully!) enjoying my fics :D

    Stay safe and sound you all, and see you this Saturday for (again, hopefully!) the next chapter of The Forest Cat Café! 

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  • historicfailure
    27.07.2021 - 5 monts ago

    Weekly Heads-Up

    Coming Up:

    Nothing for this week :)

    Working On:

    The 9th chapter of the “Forest Cat Café”! And to give you guys a hint what might happen, I needed some assurance on what kind of bathing wear Yamato would wear xD Still no NSFW content though, this fic stays squeaky-clean until I decide otherwise! ;D

    In total difference, the next chapter for “Communication is Key”! The last one was just posted yesterday, but there’s finally progress between Kakashi and the MC, and it’s so sweet to finally make them act more open around each other! Next chapter will make one more step into that direction ^^

    Still working away on “Hanahaki - Reprise” :D All the angst, but also recovery and friendship lay ahead! 

    Also, I picked up a new... idea... Let me give you all a run-down: Attorney!Madara, enemies to lovers trope, Attorney!MC, hate sex between court cases, and apparently an Ace Attorney plot... I never played the games nor watched any movies (are there even movies? I don’t know I’m just guessing at this point...) Once in a while it happens that people reinvent Shakespeare... Ace Attorney again. >-<

    As you can see, I’m keeping up... Somehow. When I finish one of the two long fics, so FCC, Cok CiK or Reprise, I will turn to the requests, put my own ideas on hold and finally clean out my inbox. It can’t go on like this anymore. -.- And with my “luck”, one of the requests will again turn into a long fic anyway ^^’’

    That would be it for this week! Thank you all for the continued support, the comments and the reblogs and likes, it means so much to me! See you all next week for the next heads-up, stay safe and sound until then! :D

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  • historicfailure
    26.07.2021 - 5 monts ago

    Communication is Key | 7th Chapter: Skinny Dipping/Sunburn

    Kakashi has been gone for a few weeks, and a heat wave has come over Konoha. Training in these conditions isn't for the sane, but no one ever said shinobi were sane.

    ~ X ~

    Hello there, welcome back! :D

    Another chapter for this fic, and I'm so happy I managed to finish it on time ^^ And we're making progress! Slow progress, but progress nevertheless! Which was really needed, as there are only 5 more chapters left! Time to amp up the misunderstandings, questioning and maybe, possibly a little happy end...? (Or several happy end's ;D). Have fun with this chapter! I certainly had fun with it and hope I can continue this pace further onward with the rest of the chapters ^^ Thank you all for the continued support and see you all next month for the next one! :D

    @naruto-smut-monday

    ~ X ~

    The summer sun was sweltering over Konoha. No sane person went outside when it was avoidable, and the unfortunate souls who had to leave the coolness of their own homes did so with big hats and airy clothes, more often than not a canteen of cool water strapped to their side. If they were lucky, the water was only lukewarm when they reached their destination.

    Anyone who went outside in this weather must be mad. Well, all shinobi were mad to some degree, and that was how you found yourself training in the humid heat on a long abandoned, maybe even forgotten training ground in the middle of the woods. The river which ran through the entirety of the village split off into some side arms, and one side arm of said river happily gurgled away and ended on the small clearing in a clear pond. Only a few small fish were in there, swimming around and probably staring at you as you slowly went through your kata.

    Every pore in your body must pour buckets of sweat out. The canteen you brought with you was already empty, even the gentle shades of the trees couldn’t ward off the humidity and sheer heat, and the training, no matter how slow you went through the motions, was taxing to the point of you wanting nothing more than to give up and get some ice cream. Or a cool drink. Or anything cold or cool, just anything to cool you down.

    So, why were you out in this heat and tortured yourself by training?

    Kakashi was gone. On some long mission which probably escalated into something bigger, more dangerous, less likely to return from. Not that you were bothered.

    Who do I want to fool? With a low sigh, you loosened your stance, shaking your head at your own silliness. My feelings are out in the open, for me at least. I should stop acting like I don’t care about him. Where would be the use in that, now?

    Indeed, where was the use in that? After the threesome with his clone, it had been established that you were “exclusive” friends with certain benefits. You both cared about each other as fellow shinobi, out of physical attraction, and maybe some kind of spark flew between your personalities. But there was no mutual love, just your one-sided wishing and hoping.

    That train of thought wasn’t unknown by now. Since that last threesome (and the entire day you spent in bed with Kakashi, enjoying the feeling of naked skin pressing against naked skin way too much to stop), that mantra went through your head at least once per day. A constant reminder that you would be there for Kakashi, that you would stick to your part of the agreement. No other partners except for him. What he did or who he did, that was his issue and his alone.

    Another sigh dropped from your lips, before one hand rose to wipe over your forehead. The back of your hand came back wet, stained with sweat and some crumbs of dirt from some more energetic exercises you went through previously.

    “Enough.” The single word echoed over the small clearing in all its finality. It was enough. Enough training for today, enough emotional turmoil, enough questioning. Now, you just wanted to cool down. There was a reason why you chose the solitude of exactly this training ground with exactly that lonely clearing. The small pond gurgled happily as you checked your surroundings one last time. Only when you were sure that your surroundings were clear, your hands slipped beneath the rim of your tight shirt, peeling the fabric off of your sweaty skin.

    You didn’t think too much about it as you stripped all your clothing in the middle of the woods. There was no one out there, the heat wave made everyone retreat into the shadowy coolness of their homes, and you checked the perimeters. Not really thoroughly, but you checked, and no one had been there.

    Well, apparently, someone just hid their chakra in a way you didn’t expect, because you believed him to still be out of the village.

    “My, my.” A low whistle made you swivel around, naked as the day you were born and one foot already wet with the blessedly cool water. “What a lovely sight to see upon my return.”

    “What the fuck are you doing here?” You scowled at Kakashi, who stepped out of his hiding spot in all his travel-worn glory. “Is your mission already over?”

    “Yup. Didn’t take as long as expected. I was pleasantly surprised that the mission desk falsely classified this mission in my favor for once.”

    A small grin flashed over your face. “There’s always a first for everything.”

    “Mhmm.” You knew the man wasn’t really present, mentally at least. His eyes fluttered over your naked skin, eagerly taking in the sight of the pebbled nipples, the goose bumps wandering down your shoulders and arms, the little trail of dark locks not yet shaved leading from your belly button further down to the neatly trimmed triangle of pubic hair. Well, nothing he hadn’t seen yet, even though it was strange to be a few meters away from him while he watched you so intently. In return, it gave you more space to inspect. Inspecting him and the hints covering the man from head to toe, telling you a story.

    His clothes were dusty, but not bloody or destroyed. In his hair hung a single leaf, fallen off during his travel through the trees and not yet discovered or brushed off. From his shoulder hung his backpack, even with the sleeping bag still attached to it.

    No injuries. Thank god.

    Even their way back went by without issues. But he hurried still.

    He came here straight from the entrance gates.

    Why?

    “Why are you here?” you asked as your arms crossed over your chest. “You should rest properly before jumping onto a training ground.”

    He shrugged. With the movement, the backpack slipped down, briefly stopped by a quick tightening of his fingers, only to drop with a dull thud to the ground. Casually, Kakashi hid his hands in the pockets of his pants. He was just… standing there. Not doing anything but his one visible eye raking over your full body. Up and down, up and down.

    “Kakashi.”

    His head snapped upwards. Your eyes met, and with your arms still folded over your chest, you walked over, until merely a few inches parted him from your heated, sweaty skin. In a challenge, you raised your chin at him, while you could nearly feel the restraint it took him to not instantly drag you closer. “Why are you here?”

    Another shrug. “Felt like it.”

    “Why?”

    “Because Izumo and Kotetsu said something when I checked in.”

    “What exactly?”

    “That you would be here.”

    Stunned, you closed your mouth before the next question could fly out. Whatever you expected, this wasn’t what you expected in the slightest. Kakashi came from the gates to see you? Directly?

    Something unbearably warm bloomed in your chest. Something so entirely different from the humid heat around you that it took you a moment to recognize that strange feeling.

    Warm, tingly, girly love. Because Kakashi came to you right after his mission.

    How stupid to feel that way, and yet, you relished in the feeling. Relished it and wanted more of that emotion. So, when you went onto your toes and reached out to the neckline of his dirty clothing, Kakashi just continued to watch you. His black eye never left your face as your fingers closed around the hidden zipper of his vest and carefully started to peel it down.

    “Directly from the gates, huh?” A little laugh fell from your lips. “In this heat?”

    “Yes.” The single word brushed in a weak wave over your face as you leaned forward, like you wanted to kiss him. He even copied you, but then you paused just before his masked lips would meet yours, and grinned.

    “Stupid donkey,” you whispered, lips so close to his masked ones they nearly brushed over his, “why are you so eager?”

    It took a moment for Kakashi to answer. Just long enough for you to hesitate, long enough for your heart to speed up, just long enough to make you doubt your sudden epiphany.

    “I missed you,” he said, barely loud enough over the weak gurgling of the pond and the humming of the insects around that you could understand him, “Missed this.”

    His hand brushed over your elbow. A hint of his fingers, knuckles ghosting over your skin, fleeting warmth adding to the sweat and heat of nature. It felt natural to bridge the last bits of distance and kiss him; kiss Kakashi through the mask and moan when his hands found your body. His vest pressed against your front, the rough fabric rubbing against your sensitive skin in the most delicious way. A shudder wandered down your back, wonderfully sinful through the differences. Stark naked skin against a body full of clothes. Unarmed against the weak rustling of forged metal hidden in Kakashi’s vest. But there was one similarity: both of you wanted each other.

    No, there was another similarity.

    I want him. He wants me. And he waited.

    Waited to come back. Waited to sleep around. Waited for you, waited so much that he rushed from the end of his mission right to you. He waited, until he didn’t have to wait any longer.

    “Fuck yes,” his sharp hiss hit your mouth between eager, openmouthed kisses, “fuck… Missed you.”

    “Missed you, too.” Saying the words which had been living in your chest since seemingly forever, since you found out about your own emotions. It was so much easier to say them out loud when Kakashi was the first one to say them. His hands palmed at your hips, eagerly slid over the bow of your ribs, found your breasts. The gloves were heavenly rough against your nipples, but you tried to keep your wits up. Your own hands struggled with the zipper of his vest and sighing in relief when the protective clothing finally fell open. Eager fingers slid underneath his black shirt in an instant, feeling the sweat droplets roll down his stomach and the muscles twitch beneath your touch.

    Kakashi hissed lowly, eyes screwed shut. Quickly, he shrugged his vest off, only to latch back onto your body. Hot, sweaty skin was caressed by only slightly cooler hands, your hunger only slightly satisfied when he helped to get rid of his pants and his full body was revealed. Again, you quickly checked on him, with your senses and with your hands. No, no injuries. He was just exhausted, but not that exhausted that he wouldn’t get a boner anymore. The proof of that pressed proudly against your lower stomach, hard and insistent and so unbelievably hot.

    Fully naked, still kissing and hastily grabbing at each other like it was the last time you would touch, you two stumbled over to the cool, promising water. Only barely, you managed to pull back, your breath labored and shallow. “Let’s… let’s just get into the water. You’re dirty and I’m sweaty.”

    “In all the best ways.”

    “Ah, stop it.” Even though his intense look made your heart jump, you forced a mask of slight annoyance onto your face. “Just get into the water.”

    Kakashi’s hoarse laugh vibrated in your very soul, but thankfully, he turned without any protest and walked into the shallow waters. There was barely a sound, merely a few splashes of water against his porcelain-white skin, before he completely submerged in the clear pond. The few moments in which his back was turned to you gave you plenty of time to ogle at his ass. Round, trained, with some dimples right above the juncture to his legs. One day, you wanted to grab and squeeze it and possibly make him the tiniest bit embarrassed about the indecent touch.

    Gods, seeing Kakashi blushing… That would be a sight to see.

    “Are you joining me or just enjoying the view?” The man didn’t even turn around with his soft reprimand, as he was covered by water up to his waist.

    “A little bit of both,” you laughed, the sound echoing between the trees. “You have dimples on your butt. Did you know that?”

    “No. Rarely get the chance to inspect myself that way.”

    “Well, you should do so more often. They’re cute.”

    That, however, caused a reaction. Kakashi clicked his tongue, all the while glancing over his shoulder and scowling at your amused expression. “My butt isn’t cute.”

    “In my eyes, it is.”

    You waited for a second for some kind of rebuttal, but nothing came. Kakashi just inched further into the pond, before turning around. Then you saw why he probably didn’t answer; his face seemed flushed from more than just the heat and his single eye shifted around constantly. “Will you join me now? Please?”

    There was a slight plea in his voice, enough to soften your teasing smile to a genuine one. “Just because you said ‘please’.”

    Walking into the cool water felt heavenly. A sigh fell from your lips as small ripples spread over the surface. Your toes dug into the muddy underground as you carefully walked forward, towards Kakashi, who was still waiting for you in the middle of the pond. When you were close enough, the water reaching up to the last bows of your ribs, you wiggled your eyebrows at him. “Maybe that should be a nickname for you. Cute butt.”

    “Really?”

    “Yeah. That’s the first time you’re being annoyed at me for something I said. I have to savor that.”

    “What a little beast you are.” His hands beneath the surface of the water came up, emerged from the water and were placed onto your shoulders. Wonderfully cool, so nice that you sighed and closed your eyes as you leaned more into the touch. Willingly, you let yourself get pulled closer into his chest, the hands wandering up to your neck and finally cupping your face. Still with closed eyes, you smiled as you felt his lips wander over your jawline, gently mouthing at your skin while whispering more words. “Such a beast.”

    His lips found yours and when you opened your mouth to greet him, it felt like…

    Like fireworks went off inside your chest.

    Like a flower blooming to reveal its full beauty.

    Like the comfort of your own home welcoming you back after a long journey.

    The kiss was tentative and careful. Kakashi took his sweet time, enjoying every flick of his tongue, cherishing your every moan and pulling closer until your bodies fitted together like two pieces of a puzzle. Absent-mindedly, his thumbs caressed your cheekbones, stroking back and forth while continuing to kiss you senseless.

    Despite the humid heat, you trembled under his touch. Being handled like a masterfully crafted glass figurine was something you never knew you needed. Sensitive touches, all gentle fingertips and cool water, cherishing your every curve and angle. Kakashi kissed you like he loved you, and in a fit of happiness that he was back and waited for you, you let him. Let him and opened up, went pliant against him as one hand slid lower, right down to your waist. He held you, close and gentle, while the water continued to cool your heated body down.

    When he retreated, just enough to breathe again, your eyes fluttered open. “Gods…”

    You heard Kakashi swallow audibly. He nodded, still breathing in heavy, deep breaths. “Yeah.”

    “Kiss me like that again and I will possibly fall in love with you.”

    It was meant as a joke. You said that mindless sentence with a smirk, one corner of your mouth pulled higher than the other, eyebrows raised and a joking sparkle in your eyes. You didn’t mean it, but you had the distinct feeling that Kakashi didn’t listen to the tone. He paused, just for a split moment, before cradling your face again.

    With all the tenderness the dangerous man possessed, he leaned in once more. His lips were just as inviting and careful as before, his tongue just as attentive and his teeth only sometimes gracing your lips, teasing you with the weak possibility of pain. Slow, almost torturous in its sluggish motions. If possible, he poured even more intensity into the kiss, making you melt into his arms and actually whimper out when he broke the contact.

    So close to him, it was hard to ignore the insistent hardness pressing into your lower stomach. His eye was also hard to ignore; his eye and his look and his…

    Admiration?

    “I never repaid the favor.”

    “Huh?”

    “I said,” his husky voice promised pleasure to the point of ecstasy, “I never repaid the favor.”

    “Which favor?”

    “The one night in the hospital.”

    There had been only one night in a hospital. The aggressive blow job, denying you the brutish force you needed to keep a distance, and the quick leave.

    “Now?” Your voice echoed over the clearing, terribly loud and already sounding way too eager. “Do you want to repay it now or what?”

    Kakashi nodded, now both of his eyes open. “Would like to.”

    “And you aren’t too exhausted from your mission?”

    “I don’t know a better way to recover than burying my face between your legs and finding out what you taste like.”

    A deep shiver rummaged through your entire body. The picture Kakashi painted with his words was just too tempting to deny him. And if he wanted to relax that special way, then who were you to question it. So, you leaned up and pressed an almost chaste kiss to his cheek, while your hands sneaked around his body and innocently landed on the globes of his glorious butt. “Sounds like a pretty relaxing activity to me too.”

    “Of course, you think so.” Kakashi twitched as you squeezed his buttocks. Again, just for good measure, and he threw a slightly disgruntled glance at you. “You’re really playing this game, huh?”

    Still firmly squeezing his butt, you smirked up to him. “Oh, absolutely.”

    His butt was indeed a work of art. You could feel the taut skin beneath your fingers, the muscles twitching ever to slightly, all encompassed in a wonderful display of trained perfection. Your fingers even found the small dimples right above his legs, teasing the little dents while continuing to smirk up into his face.

    Thus, you didn’t expect him to suddenly swoop you up into his arms. A girly squeal escaped as water splashed around, your flailing legs quickly caught, while Kakashi’s other arm securely held you against his chest.

    A snort drifted through the air as he started to walk out of the pond, onto the more shallower parts. “My, that was quite a sound from you.”

    “Oh, shut up.” You swatted at him, but couldn’t deny that it felt… nice to be carried like this, princess-style. Even though you were butt-naked, with goose bumps peppering up and down your arms and sides, you felt safe and sound to the point of smiling without any pretenses at him.

    Kakashi stopped, right there in the shallow waters, feet and calves still hidden by water and mud, the rest of his naked body exposed to the forest around.

    “You,” he raised a single eyebrow, “shouldn’t smile at me like that.”

    “Why not?” Just to prove you weren’t bothered by any possible threat, you smiled again at him. “Fearing you will totally fall in love with me, or what?”

    No answer, just a low grunt as Kakashi bent down to lower you to the ground. Cool water still washed around you; blessedly cool water against your heated skin. Instinctively, you hoisted your upper body up, but when he glared at you, you huffed and lowered yourself back onto your elbows.

    Fine. Let him take the reins for this one.

    Looking at the blue summer sky above, with the trees whispering in the far too weak breeze, laying bare and with your defenses down, you waited. Your heartbeat was accelerated, beating hard in your chest while you anticipated… waited… longed for…

    Water splashed, and a shadow fell over you. Kakashi crawled over your body like an ancient shinobi, ready to claim his prize with fierce determination. For a moment, your eyes zeroed in on the black beauty mark right below his mouth, such a small pretty blemish on his otherwise pale, scarred skin, then his mouth descended upon you once more. Small kisses were laid upon your skin. Cherishing you, praising and praying to you. A moan bubbled up in your chest, and you arched into the weak suction when his sharp teeth graced your clavicle.

    “You can,” you breathed out, “you can bite me. Again. Just don’t maul me like I’m your personal toy.”

    Kakashi hummed in his throat, right before pressing more kisses to the underside of your breasts. “Will do.”

    “I mean it.”

    “And I said,” barely, he glanced over the swell of your chest, teasing you with his look and smirk alone, “will do.”

    Discussions were senseless, you realized. What a stubborn mule. He would do what he wanted with you, and you could just lay back and enjoy for as long as it lasted. So, you did just that, closing your eyes and focusing only on the sensations he gifted to you.

    More kisses. Down to the bows of your ribs, each one receiving a single peck. Teeth graced your skin there as well, carefully tugging at your skin, but not enough to break it. Sliding lower, to your belly button and thin trail of hairs leading further down. More and more kisses, like gentle butterflies, raining upon your lower stomach, his hands gripping into your hips to hold them still. Because, oh gods, you wanted more. You could already feel the wetness leaking from between your lower lips, so eager at the promise being fulfilled.

    Kakashi noticed, too. His warm breath hit your hip bone, then teeth followed in an instant. “So cute and honest in your reactions,” he murmured, “so eager for me.”

    “Shut up,” you growled, “shut up and finally get on with it!”

    “Ah, there she is. The bristly witch I know.” Another kiss to the other side of your hip, then Kakashi slid even lower. Gently, he spread your legs apart, urging you to hook them both over his shoulder as he settled close to your wet middle onto the muddy ground. A finger dipped into your hole, which eagerly mouthed at the intrusion. “So, so eager.”

    A quick flush rose, and unable to hide it, you threw one arm over your face. “Shut up, Kakashi.”

    But he didn’t. Instead, another chuckle brushed over your wet folds. “Payback for calling my butt cute.”

    “Really? Did I offend your manly manliness so much?”

    “Very eloquent.”

    “How am I supposed to be eloquent when you’re looking at my wet pussy like it’s a buffet?”

    You inhaled harshly as he nestled his face into the space right where you wanted him to be and your upper thigh. A kiss later, he came up, visibly smirking at the little shiver rummaging through your body. “It is a buffet after all.”

    Before you could say anything, two fingers pressed into you and a sigh of relief escaped. Being filled, may it be only with fingers, was already some progress. It didn’t take the man long to find your sensitive spot, pressing with almost devilish intent down on it. A moan escaped, instantly followed by a raspy, whispered: “More, Kakashi…”

    And he gave you more. His mouth eased over your pubic mound, fingers spread your lower lips, then he found your clit. Gentle nibbling, careful tasting, only to dive in with abandon when you responded with desperate calls for more.

    Whining, your hips bucked up into his face. The suction was strong; not strong enough to hurt, but consistent and persistent. His fingers were as deft and nimble as always; sluggishly pushing in and out of you at their own pace, while your legs laying across his shoulders twitched and flexed from the constant ministrations. He mouthed your clit, lapped up your wetness like it was nectar, fingered you with a patience you never experienced with another partner. Like every motion, every little flex of his fingers, every flick of his tongue served a glorious purpose, and that glorious purpose was to get you off with unbearable gentleness and care.

    “Kakashi…” you whined out, the knot in your lower stomach tightening rapidly, “Oh gods…” Unable to grasp onto anything else, you threw your arms again over your face, only to quickly go back to your hands clawing into the water and mud. “Kakashi!”

    “Mhmm…” His low hum vibrated in his tongue and teeth; vibrated against your clit and gave you enough stimulation to buck into his mouth. Then, just when you thought you were nearing your orgasm, Kakashi raised his head and even stopped his fingering. His damned smirk with your wetness slathered over his lower face infuriated you just mildly. “You can grab my hair, you know?”

    Blinking rapidly, you tried to focus. “I… can?” you echoed, dizzy from the onslaught of hot, red pleasure running through your veins.

    He nodded, still smirking. “You can. You…” Something blinked in his eyes. “You don’t have to be gentle. I can take whatever you throw at me.”

    He really repeated those words. The words from seemingly ages ago, when you were still full of anger at the man. From the night you bent over in the hospital bed and demanded him to be rough. You had said them in steely defiance, determined to be as detached as possible. In stark difference, his smirk was softened by his tone, all warm and friendly and…

    Loving.

    Even though your heart ached and even though a lone tear stood in your eyes, you nodded and let your head fall back into the shallow waters. “I won’t,” you whispered as the tear rolled down into your hair, only to dissolve in the water of the pond, “I won’t be rough. Go on. Please, Kakashi. I need you.”

    You already knew he would reach over and take one of your hands into his. You already knew he would guide it down, to his head, and bury the wet, mud-caked fingers into his hair. You knew he would lean into the touch, just like an overly attached cat would, before burying his head again between your legs.

    He licked you with abandon, didn’t shy away from using his fingers to fuck into you, held your hips down with the strength of a true shinobi. Rapidly, like the waves of the springtide, the pleasure rose. More whimpers escaped your mouth; more whimpers, mewls and pleas for him to give you what you needed. Your skin felt too tight, and as you grinded into his face, the water splashed around you, the birds sang above and the sun continued to burn. Life was… good.

    When you came, you did so with a weak keen. Your hips bucked upwards, and your fingers in his hair tightened, smearing more mud into the silver hair. Kakashi continued to gently lick and suck at your overly sensitive clit, stroked over your lower lips and brought you gradually down to earth again. When the last bits of hazy comfort faded into the back of your mind, you laid in the water, stared up at the blue sky and tried to find a single responsible thought.

    I should get up.

    I should leave.

    I should return the favor.

    I should, I should, I should.

    So many responsibilities, so many boundaries. For a moment, you closed your eyes. One breath in, one breath out. Another round, and just when you wanted to sit up, you felt Kakashi move. Still unbearably gentle, he untangled your legs, slid them off his shoulders, and crawled upwards. Up, closer to you. More water splashed as he got comfortable right by your side in the mud, shoulder to shoulder. Another long moment passed, in which you only listened to his labored breathing, before his hand skimmed over your exposed forearm. Up and down, only for his fingers to curl gently around yours when he went downwards.

    Without a word, you opened your hand and allowed his fingers to slide into the space between yours.

    Holding hands. A romantic gesture for couples. Not for shinobi like you, barely friends with certain benefits, not even knowing what the other liked in food and drinks. A strange gesture, but by now, you should be accustomed to it.

    Kakashi was a strange man, after all.

    “What’s your favorite food?” you asked, right out of the blue. You could feel his gaze on your profile, but stubbornly continued to look up into the sky. “You know, just… to get to know each other. Apart from this.”

    “Right.” He grunted. “Think… Miso-Soup.”

    “Just… bland Miso-Soup?”

    “Yeah. And grilled eggplant.”

    A simple, healthy meal. Responsible. And yet, so unexpected coming from him. A little grin flashed over your face as you continued to look up into the blue sky, while your hand held onto Kakashi’s fingers with nothing but weak hope for something bigger. “Sounds good to me.”

    ~ X ~

    He had absolutely no idea what to do with you. One moment, you welcomed him with open arms, the next you were as bristly as a rose bush. Kakashi had no idea what mood would hit him next, and sometimes he felt a bit exhausted at the prospect of not knowing what to expect from you.

    Today though, was different. Coming home from the mission, he only had one thought in his mind. The entire way back from the Land of Stone, right up to the big entrance gates promising safety and right up until the moment he felt your chakra brushing over his senses like a cool blanket, Kakashi had missed you. Missed seeing you, smelling your scent, hearing your voice nagging him. Stepping onto the clearing of the hidden training ground proved to be a wise decision as the first thing he saw of you was your naked back and behind, right down to the curve of your butt.

    How cute.

    Things escalated from there. Now, with you sleeping on his chest and one hand protectively curled over his quickly beating heart, Kakashi still tried to unravel your strange behavior. At the very start of everything, before the one night in the Land of Iron, you had been cold, standoffish, snippy with him. Those spikes of nasty comments faded over time, only returning in quick bouts of squabbles and discussions. You also became softer, more pliant, but not less fierce or strong. Your actions spoke as loud as words did, but your words contradicted your actions in so many ways that he didn’t dare to interpret them. More and more layers he couldn’t make sense of, but didn’t want them —didn’t want you— any other way.

    Some clarity about this situation would be nice, still.

    Today was so confusing. As Kakashi watched you mumble weakly in your sleep, he tried to wrap his head around the chance… the possibility… the small flame of silly hope…

    That you might like him more than a friend. That you possibly were in love with him. That you loved him like he loved you.

    Kakashi always thought he wasn’t that lucky, to find someone and settle down one day. Hell, already someone falling in love with him while he was in love with them always seemed out of his reach. But now this, this entire mess of a relationship… a friendship with benefits… whatever this was had him doubting everything.

    Would he be capable of staying with someone for a long time? Could he care for someone? Could he make someone else happy? All questions he would have brushed off as inconvenient in the past, but now, with your soft breath brushing over his skin, they swirled through his head like moths would swarm a lamp.

    Today… you had been so obviously happy to see him. The moment you turned around and your eyes fell upon him, standing in all his travel-worn glory in front of you, your eyes had lit up. There had been relief, surprise, yes, even happiness to see him. And Kakashi desperately wanted to believe there also had been something else in your eyes; something deeper, stronger, more meaningful.

    Because there had been something on your face, gone in the blink of an eye, before Kakashi could even attempt to pick it up. He was sure, though.

    A weak laugh rose in his throat, only to be muffled in his free hand as he scrubbed in harsh motions over his eyes. “Fuck… What are you doing to me?”

    You didn’t answer. Thankfully. Just your hand covering his chest twitched in your sleep, nothing else but a subconscious reaction to such self-conscious words.

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