#free Kurt Tumblr posts

  • dr-gaston-lefevre
    26.09.2021 - 6 hours ago
    Kurt Likes.
    @switchhummel​

    Much appreciated. 

    #c: kurt #//feel free to not respond if you want
    View Full
  • chocoholicannanymous
    25.09.2021 - 15 hours ago

    Concepts in Action (Glee)

    Follow-up to Concepts of Insanity, spawned by a talk with @jwmelmoth

    Slighty different mood than that one, but same base principle.

    Returning to the loft after skating should be a relief after the awkwardness of doing such a loaded activity with his ex. Except it doesn't feel that good, and he's got some uncomfortable suspicions regarding Blaine's backpack.

    “So, dad. You brought Blaine. Exactly when's his ticket back?”

    “Day after tomorrow, same as mine.”

    “Right. And where is he staying?”

    “Well...” His dad's facial expression answers that question in a way that makes Kurt's heart sink.

    Fan.Tast.Ic.

    “So when you said I could return my present if I wanted to, exactly how was that supposed to work? It isn't, is it? I'm stuck with him whether I want to or not.”

    “Kurt!”

    His dad's voice is full of surprise and a bit of censor, but Kurt isn't going to let that influence him. His dad's crossed a line, and Kurt's not going to pretend otherwise.

    “Remember the first Christmas after mom passed away? How you sat me down and apologized for my presents, before I'd even opened them, because you just weren't good at buying gifts? And remember how I told you that anything you'd gotten me would be perfect, because it was from you and I loved you? Yes?

    “Okay. I still love you, but I'm taking the rest of that back. You coming here to tell me you have cancer was bad enough. Finding out you consider my ex an acceptable 'gift' for Christmas goes from bad to really shitty, and I don't know what you were thinking. Especially seeing as apparently you felt it was okay to tell him about your cancer before telling me.”

    “I didn't want you to be alone.”

    Kurt just stares, unable to process.

    “I have cancer, and I knew you'd have a hard time to deal. I brought Blaine because I figured you'd need the support, the comfort.”

    “And you brought my ex for that?”

    Then again, support wasn't Blaine's strongest suit even when we were together, was it?

    “Hey, you're the one who told me he wasn't just your boyfriend, he was your best friend too.”

    “Yes, but that was before” he cheated on me “we broke up.”

    His dad still doesn't seem to get it and Kurt can't take it.

    “You know what, I need some air. I'm going to take a walk. You stay here, make sure Blaine stays out of my bedroom.”

    Kurt starts out with going around the block, but he's still upset after and takes another loop, this time longer. It takes half an hour for him to feel ready to go back inside and deal.

    Sitting on the couch with his dad and Blaine as they watch baseball is annoying as hell. Any other time, he'd take the closeness and read Vogue, especially now that his dad has admitted to knowing about it. But with Blaine actually watching and interacting with his dad about the game Kurt feels uncomfortable not doing the same. So he tries. Once he gives up and reaches for his magazine he heard his dad and Blaine joke about having bet about how long he'd hold out.

    And then the next hit comes.

    “So, Kurt, I know that this might be a bit weird for you, and you can totally say no if you want to,” sure, just like I could return the 'gift' of your presence, “ but I'm applying to NYADA for next year.”

    Kurt sighs silently. Of course he is. The thing is, he can see it, the way Blaine probably assumes it'll play out. Blaine moving to New York, going to NYADA, buddying up to Rachel just like in high school... Kurt being expected to just take it, regardless of if he had been accepted or not. Any contacts Kurt might have gotten supposed to be at Blaine's beck and call, Blaine talking his way into Kurt's classes trying to replace him, like he had in Glee and with Cheerios... Kurt bending over backwards to make Blaine happy, just like in high school.

    Because there would never be a chance of him being allowed to continue to say no to Blaine with them at the same school.

    Thank god that's not going to happen.

    And really, what was Blaine trying to do here? Pretending that Kurt's opinion mattered? The time for that would have been months ago, before applying.

    “Oh really? You know what, I think NYADA might be perfect for you.” Not in terms of actual schooling, maybe, as Kurt's had the blinds torn off regarding Blaine's talent, but for the rest... He imagines Carmen Tibideaux subjecting Blaine to some of her special treatment. The definition of Karma, surely.

    “Really?”

    “Oh yeah. From everything I've heard you'd get along really well with the dean, and well, Rachel seems to thrive. Good luck.”

    With no encouragement to keep talking about NYADA Blaine wanders off to grab something to drink and Kurt refocuses on his dad, trying to squeeze out as much of this visit as possible.

    “Hey Kurt? What does NUY want with you?”

    Kurt turns his head so fast it feels like he's in danger of whiplash.

    “Are you going through my mail? Stop it!”

    The words come out hard and he can see both his dad and Blaine react. He doesn't care though.

    “You know, you going through my personal things wasn't cute when we dated either. Back then I just cared more about keeping the peace than about keeping my privacy. Since that's not a problem anymore, let me just be clear. I might be allowing you to stay here, but that's not an invitation in any way. Not to snooping, not to feeling at home, and not to getting back together.

    “This is my home, and you are – putting it kindly – a guest. Behave with the decency I know your mom expects of you. If you can't do that then leave.”

    He wishes Blaine would, but knows it's not likely.

    “Buddy...”

    “Kurt! You can't mean that you'd throw me out. Where would I go?”

    Blaine looks like Kurt has done the verbal equivalent of throwing a bucket of ice water in his face. It has no effect on Kurt's resolve though.

    “I neither know nor care. You either respect my home or you don't stay in it. This is New York. There are thousands of hotels and hostels.”

    His dad just stares at him, as if he doesn't know who Kurt is anymore, and it hurts. Out of all the people liking Blaine better than him Kurt had never figured his dad would be one. And yet here he was, feeling the same way as he'd once felt with Finn.

    “Buddy, you're being a bit harsh here, don't you think? Yes, I'll admit that maybe bringing Blaine without warning you was a little...impulsive, but why are you so angry? And don't be so hardnosed about getting back together, for your own sake.

    “Like I said earlier, love's important. Holding on to love is important. I don't want you to throw away what you and Blaine have, not when you never know what will happen, or how long you'll have that opportunity. It's a cruel world, Kurt, but having someone to share with makes it better.”

    Kurt takes a deep breath and tries, really really tries to keep his bitterness in. He's not doing that great a job.

    “Holding on to love is important, sure. But there's such a thing as holding on too long and too hard. Blaine and I broke up for good reasons, and I wish you'd respect that.”

    It's like his dad isn't even hearing him though.

    “You know, your mom and I found it hard being apart too.”

    Kurt did know. As a kid he'd loved hearing about his mom's semester in France, and he'd been told enough to know that it'd been tough. He'd read some of their letters to each other though, and he doubts either of them dealt the way Blaine did.

    “So? Yes, being apart is hard. But that isn't an excuse for everything. I didn't want to get you involved in all of this, but since that's obviously not going to be an option anymore, fine. Blaine cheated. He felt I didn't pay enough attention to him, you know, between finding a job and a place to stay, and making enough money to pay the bills, and generally trying to make myself a life here after he practically pushed me to go here.

    “And so he went and found someone else to give him that attention.”

    He practically spits out the last sentence. It feels good to finally allow himself to say it, but the look on his dad's face doesn't feel as good.

    If he was less angry maybe he'd be able to stop himself, worry about his dad's heart. But the anger's been simmering too long for that.

    “That's why we broke up, and that's why I find the idea of getting back together objectionable. And you can talk about holding on to love until you're blue in the face, but I'm not the one who needs that lecture.”

    He swallows down the lump in his throat, but goes on.

    “As for the rest of it, are you seriously suggesting I take back my cheating boyfriend because that's better than being alone? Or because I don't know how long I'll live? Because if you are... What's next, dad? Telling me I should marry him because you and mom didn't get enough time together?

    “If any of those things are going through your head you are also welcome to leave. I'll never not welcome you in my home, dad, but I need you to respect me. I need you to not act like you're putting someone else's son above yours.”

    That's a warning that hits the target, and it's obvious that Burt Hummel remembers a row of uncomfortable talks about Finn. He deflects by turning on Blaine though.

    “You...”

    “No, dad. It is over and done with. Leave him be. Just... Just leave it alone. I don't want to take anymore fighting. Please?”

    They stare at each other and for a while Kurt wonders if he should have done as he normally does and just backed down. Swallowed down his hurt and anger and frustration, kept quiet about the injustices done to him, and just pretended to be okay. Tried to not upset his dad, and risk his health.

    Except he's done that for years, and it's clearly not working. His dad's health has failed again, with the cancer – and no matter how good the prognosis, or the treatments available, a cancer diagnosis is a health failure. Plus his dad is trying to fix him and Blaine, out of some misguided idea that they're going to be the next Burt-and-Lizzie, and he never would have done that if Kurt'd been honest about the cheating instead of blaming distance.

    At least Kurt hopes he wouldn't.

    “Sometimes, dad, first loves end. They end because of death, or because they're not meant to last, or because of something else. And then you meet someone else, and they make your life amazing. I'm not going to deprive myself of that by holding on to something that's ended. Just like you didn't. You found love again. I will too.

    “I just need to be allowed to do so.”

    They keep staring at each other, and then his dad nods. Kurt can't help it, he throws himself in his dad's arms, with tears already beginning to fall.

    As they hug Kurt hear Blaine muttering in the background about finding a hotel, but he doesn't care. The door to the loft closing feels like it's closing on him and Blaine too, and it's such a relief.

    After several minutes they let go. Both need to remove traces of crying, but that's good.

    Once they're seated again Kurt searches for something to talk about, but his dad beats him to it.

    “So, NYU? Or should I pretend I didn't hear that?”

    “No! I have been thinking about things, about school, and I was an idiot for not applying to more schools last year. So, I did some research and then I did something about it. I've applied to half a dozen schools, and I've already been accepted to one for the fall semester. I don't know if there's any school willing to take me for the spring, but if there's not I'll just keep working and try to save up money.”

    “And what about NYADA?”

    There's no judgment in his dad's voice, and Kurt smiles as he tries to describe the situation diplomatically.

    “It's...not looking as good in my research as I thought, so while I did reapply there I'm not sure I want to go there. I really shouldn't have listened to Rachel last year, because as it turns out? NYADA actually isn't the most prestigious school for performing arts, and it's probably not even the best for me. I guess we were both a little starstruck, you know?”

    The game is back on, but they ignore it and talk, and it's everything Kurt would have wanted.

    O--o---o--O

    Months later as classes start up Kurt receives voicemail after voicemail about Blaine starting at NYADA, about how bad it is that Kurt's not been accepted, about them meeting up. Kurt ignores them as he did the calls and walks into vogue.com with a smile.

    He doesn't feel the least bad about not getting in. Hell, he didn't even apply for the fall semester.

    No, Kurt's happy where he is, with his job at vogue.com, a spot at the New School and a couple of scholarships helping pay the way. Oh, and a new boyfriend, which also contributes to his happiness.

    Turns out? Acting in new ways can get you new and rewarding results. All you got to do is try.

    View Full
  • kurtbastianandhevans
    24.09.2021 - 1 day ago

    Jar Of Hearts Kurt FanFiction Chapter 5/7

    You can read on A03 or FanFiction.Net but I didn’t put it on here because I’m afraid of getting hate but if you don’t like Klaine/Blaine then this is for you so I hope you read it!!

    Archive Of Our Own

    FanFiction.Net (Chapter 5)

    View Full
  • kurtbastianandhevans
    23.09.2021 - 2 days ago

    Jar Of Hearts Kurt FanFiction Chapter 4/7

    You can read on A03 or FanFiction.Net but I didn’t put it on here because I’m afraid of getting hate but if you don’t like Klaine/Blaine then this is for you so I hope you read it!!

    Archive Of Our Own

    FanFiction.Net (Chapter 4)

    View Full
  • kurtbastianandhevans
    18.09.2021 - 1 week ago

    Jar Of Hearts Kurt FanFiction Chapter 3/7

    You can read on A03 or FanFiction.Net but I didn’t put it on here because I’m afraid of getting hate but if you don’t like Klaine/Blaine then this is for you so I hope you read it!!

    Archive Of Our Own

    FanFiction.Net (Chapter 3)

    View Full
  • lylakoi
    16.09.2021 - 1 week ago

    Some thoughts on that Greedfall mission that got me reflecting on a few things.

    I honestly think that Kurt's side on the events of the coup isn't talked about enough, and I find the idea of De Sardet being mad at him for not telling about Coup earlier or holding a grudge after cruel.

    Cruel for a man who was in the guard before he was even born. Who was in the guard as long as he can remembers. THEY are his family, first and foremost. He missed them while effectively babysitting two noble brats. He openly states it if asked about his Master of Arms role. Guard is his main family, main loyalty (despite the shit they put him thru). Only in his mid-twenties or smth he becomes the Master of Arms for De Sardet and Constantin. You're mostly formed as a personality at this point. At least I made majority of my friends before hitting 25, and definitely all of my best friends are from my young age. It absolutely does not mean that some of my new friends won't become very close ones in the future, they very well might, but it will take time. Which sort of slows down as you grow older, more things to do and to consider, thus slowing process of making new friends.

    Back to Greedfall. Kurt trained De Sardet and Constantin for years, and became friends with both in the very end. So he now has two parties he cares for: Guard and the noble duo, especially so if De Sardet is a she, cause it's quite obvious that Kurt has a crush on her. Here the importance of his quests comes in. De Sardet either helps him to rediscover ideals of the Guard, and to let go some of his trauma, thus helping his main loyalty, while also proving to be a true friend. Or they don't help him, and Kurt continues to dwell in the said trauma and not opposes these new-old unsavory ways of the Guard. And then we come to point of the coup. Where he faces two choices BOTH ending with betrayed loyalty. I repeat he's cornered (again, poor man is not given an inch of freedom his entire bloody life) from all angles. Because on one hand, he has a clear order from his Commander, the leader of the faction he devoted HIS ENTIRE LIFE. And on the other hand, he has lives of those two nobles whom he considers to be friends, whom he protected for years and who helped him a few times as well (if you did the quests, that is). He's a loser anyway. If you look at the events of Coup if Kurt choses the Guard - he still can't bring himself to kill neither Constantin, nor De Sardet, - unless the player decides to kill him first, he then kills himself. Note that he does it with unresolved quests, so basically even if De Sardet choses NOT to help him, he still doesn't kill them as ordered. As if he didn't plan to survive that day at all, because yes, he'll be a traitor for one of the sides he cares about, and he couldn't bear it. If Kurt opposes the Guard, you can hear him being called a traitor by some of them. He brushes off, sure, but it has to hurt. Moreover, he's now forced to kill his brothers in arms. His friends, potentially. Even if he thinks those conspirators are wrong, and should be punished, it's not easy to go against your own. But here De Sardet's help comes to play - who helped him understand again for himself what Guard is about and to deal with his own demons from the past. So in this regard he not only stays loyal to De Sardet but also that ideal vision of the Guard that he has. But it's not a universal picture as we see, lots of guards have other ideas for the guild. Again, while resolving his quests eases the choice for him, it's still a tough one. And to hold him against that after is just not right in my opinion, and I'm glad that in the game we were thankful to him, not resentful or hateful, even though my initial reaction was a bit hostile, like “dude, we knew about that note for quite some time, maybe we should’ve done smth?!” But really, could he prevent the Coup from happening? Told us earlier? We don't know. Those weapons we found in smuggled crates and note in the Rolf's office suggests that plan was set in motion long ago, but we later see that Torsten knew that Kurt is potential liability, so he might've kept him in the dark till the very end.

    To finish up, just imagine the stuff going thru his head that day, where Kurt enters the room to either kill his young charges, or kill his own fellow guardsmen. How can you hold this choice against him? I sure know I wouldn't be able to.

    #just a bunch of thoughts I needed to put somewhere cause that quest lives in my mind rent free #especially after I learned of other possible outcomes #scene where he kills himself absolutely wrecked my heart #last time I was so shooked by video game is when Tassadar sacrificed himself in StarCraft #I was like 10 then #completely not expected to experience it again #the amount of shit Kurt had to go thru and end up like that was painful to watch #made my wanna put him into shitload of warm blankets and protect at all costs #poor guy deserves all the love #ALL of it #greedfall#kurt greedfall#captain kurt
    View Full
  • kurtbastianandhevans
    14.09.2021 - 1 week ago

    Jar Of Hearts Kurt FanFiction Chapter 2/7

    You can read on A03 or FanFiction.Net but I didn’t put it on here because I’m afraid of getting hate but if you don’t like Klaine/Blaine then this is for you so I hope you read it!!

    Archive Of Our Own

    FanFiction.Net

    View Full
  • kurtbastianandhevans
    13.09.2021 - 1 week ago

    Jar Of Hearts Kurt FanFiction Chapter 1/7

    You can read on A03 or FanFiction.Net but I didn’t put it on here because I’m afraid of getting hate but if you don’t like Klaine/Blaine then this is for you so I hope you read it!!

    Archive Of Our Own

    FanFiction.Net

    So I'm in a mood which is the only explanation I have for writing this. I'm warning you right now that this is sad and there is no happy ending. Did I debate having a happy one where someone like Seb or Sam or Adam come and rescue Kurt? Yes I did but I decided against it because that's just so predictable for me and we know that not ever story has a happy ending. So once again I'm warning you that THIS IS NOT A HAPPY STORY and THERE WILL NOT BE A HAPPY ENDING!! So I don't want any hate, I mean you can complain if you want to but no hating or fighting with me. Also this is not friendly to Blaine, the glee club or Burt as you can see in the tags but I feel like I should say it anyway. It's really only friendly to Kurt, Sam and Finn because I feel like Sam and Finn would be the only nice ones in this situation. But I promise that after I'm done with this that I will write some happy, fluffy stuff for you guys that like fluff but this is for my friends that like angst like me!! And I'll eventually get around to updating my other two fics that are currently in progress, sometime 🙃🙃 So until I see you next time don't forget to comment down below with any feedback or questions (please come talk to me I'm lonely lol 🥺🥺) and have a great day/night!! 😁😁

    View Full
  • starpantskullshirt
    13.09.2021 - 1 week ago

    Here's  a very low quality fanart of my fave drawings by @2dfruity

    #srry #ik the quality is really bad lol #but those drawings live in my head rent free #just realized that i forgot to add the tattoos #kurt im so sorry #might delete later
    View Full
  • sophiathedudette
    05.09.2021 - 2 weeks ago

    Joe Keery is more than just his hair

    He’s got a great personality

    #joe keery#djo#steve harrington #walter keys mckey #free guy keys #kurt kunkle
    View Full
  • kuiinncedes
    05.09.2021 - 3 weeks ago
    #i was just poking around ur blog a lot to see what i could put on the moodboard 😂 so like #idk you have the 'this user loves jake / tina' things right at the top and also kurt i think you like kurt 🤪 so i went with those three #and also saw something where you said you have purplish red-ish hair so that's kind of the vibes of the circle pic i guess 😂 #it came up with i searched purple hair on unsplash lol #sadly did not handwrite the url llike i did for esp 😔 i already had hers and iiiii was too lazy to do one rn lol but #i wanna do that pen ask game or something similar again and write people's urls 🤪 idk lmao Anyway #sorry if these tags don't realy make sense lshfdk #also feel free to send more of these asks the moodboards are fun even tho idk if i'm doing it very well lol but yeah !!! #i will get to others tomorrow/later bc my laptop's about to die lol #thanks for the ask 🥰💞 #asks#awkwardcaterpillar
    View Full
  • theghostofashton
    02.09.2021 - 3 weeks ago
    #i've been messing around with these for weeks and i am so scared to finally post them #i hope they're what you had in mind i'm so sorry for how much psychoanalysis i ended up doing #klaine fanfiction#klaine#kurt hummel#blaine anderson#glee fanfiction#neha writes #i wanted to finish these before i jumped into anything else so other stuff is def coming! #also requests are open as always so if y'all have anything else in mind please feel free to send a message abt it!
    View Full
  • stygmata--martyr
    30.08.2021 - 3 weeks ago

    Ignore this if you want, but as a fan of rock it bothers me that Harry Styles is seen as some kind of revolutionary icon that is breaking gender norms when countless people have been doing it before him for decades. Men and women. When One Direction were big I was way older and into completely different music genres, because of that I never really paid attention to their music, but now I can acknowledge and respect that Harry Styles has made a career for himself. He seems to have what it takes to make it long term in the music industry, but please don’t tell me he’s the first to have broken gender norms because he isn’t. Nothing he does is new, he is simply being inspired by the people who came before him, which is completely normal and healthy, but let’s be honest, what he’s doing has been going on for many, many years. He is doing nothing wrong, I might not be a fan of the music but I appreciate the attitude. What’s upsetting here is the lack of knowledge people have when it comes to music history. Most of you have internet at your disposal, it takes five minutes to do some minimal research. Take advantage of that because there is nothing more valuable than knowledge, in all areas.

    View Full
  • gleefuldays
    27.08.2021 - 4 weeks ago

    You know my coffee order? Of course I do.

    #glee#klaine#blaine anderson#kurt hummel#fanart#+#graphics #Don't judge I'm really new to drawing lol #I had to use some graphic design to get by lol #But I did draw some of it #Of course I had to go through a tutorial to learn how to draw a simple coffee cup #But then I added things after #Also the original picture I copied from was in public domain so I don't know the artist to credit #But I couldn't draw my own if it wasn't for theirs #Thanks for teaching me! And thanks for putting up your work in for free so beginners like me can draw something decent
    View Full
  • dreamties
    27.08.2021 - 4 weeks ago
    View Full
  • zhakul
    23.08.2021 - 1 mont ago

    not that anyone cares, but kurt from greedf4ll and a cowboy concept combined together is overloading my braincells

    #cowboy kurt. well why dont u just shoot me at this point #free my man from his british accent and give him a southern one..
    View Full
  • keerie
    12.08.2021 - 1 mont ago

    Joe Keery in The GQ interview <3

    #joe keery #joe keery pictures #joe Keery gif #Steve Harrington#kurt krunkle#spree#Free guy#stranger things #stranger things cast #useraur #Joe Keery supremacy #MF HES SO PRETTY HERE #AGHH#CRYING #MY BABY <3333
    View Full
  • bothsidesofaquestion
    12.08.2021 - 1 mont ago
    #::anonymous asks#::ic answers #::Kurt vc: I think these tigers need to be free instead #::mobile
    View Full
  • keerie
    10.08.2021 - 1 mont ago

    Dear Joe Keery, I love you and stop being perfect bc I’m obsessed <3

    #Joe keery #joe Keery gif #JOE FUCKING KEERY #Free guy#ryan reynolds #free guy interview #god I love you man #okay but pov that joe finds our tumblrs #Steve Harrington#kurt krunkle#Stranger things#djo
    View Full
  • kurtbastianandhevans
    29.07.2021 - 1 mont ago

    Let Me In Kurt/Sebastian FanFiction (Choose Your Own Story Type Story😊😊)

    Hi everyone, so this a something a little different that I wrote where I wrote a conversation between Kurt and Sebastian and you get to interpret their conversation to write your own background for the story. Here’s what you do:

    First read the dialogue. That’s all it is, nothing else.

    Then you can etheir tell me on here or on A03 or FanFiction.Net about how you interpreted their conversation. It’s angsty and the tags are kind of a hint about the background of the conversation. It’s kind of like a choose your own story kind of thing where you make up the background of the fic. 

    The story is not meant to be New Direction, Burt, Finn, Carol or Blaine Friendly and if you want to then you can add in that there is Sam, Niff, Hunter friendship with Kurt and Sebastian. It’s also angst and hurt/comfort. That’s really it everything else is up to you.

    Please tell me whether you liked this or not and if I should do more because this was actually really fin and relaxing to do. Also feel free to make up your own and to tag me so I can make up my own background for yours. Thank you for reading!! 😁😎

    (Also can I just say how proud I am of myself for getting two fics done today. I feel so productive today that I might make it three. We’ll have to see.)

    Archive Of Our Own: https://archiveofourown.org/works/32899630

    FanFiction.Net: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13929253/1/Let-Me-In

    “You aren’t yourself lately. I don’t like it.”

    “It’s okay, you don’t have to love me.”

    “But I do love you. I just don’t understand why you’re like this.”

    “Like what Seb? This is who I am, this is what happens and I told you about this. You...you said that you could handle it.”

    “I can handle it but I want to help you. Don’t make this harder than it needs to be and just answer me. Why do you keep shutting me out?”

    “It’s better this way. I just need time to myself.”

    “How? I’m your boyfriend. I want to know what’s upsetting you and you’ve been by yourself for quite some time now.”

    “You wouldn’t understand. You don’t listen.”

    “I don’t listen? Really because I’ve been trying to get you to talk to me so I can listen and you won’t answer me.”

    “I’m not answering you because I know that in the end everything will go through one ear and out the other. Just leave me alone”

    “I’m not going to leave you alone. You could at least try to tell me about it. It’s like you don’t trust me.”

    “It’s not your fault, not everything is about you Seb, alright? I don’t trust anyone. I don’t even trust myself.”

    “Well newsflash Kurt, trust is a big component in a relationship. You need to trust me so we can talk this out.”

    “I can’t Seb, I just can’t it’s not you it’s me.”

    “Bullcrap. I’m not just gonna sit by and watch as you fade right before my eyes.”

    “I’m not fading, I’m fine.”

    “Really, you think you’re fine. You think this is fine. I hate to say this because I truly love you Kurt but you’re fucked up. You need help.”

    “How dare you? You don’t know what this is like for me. How do you know that you wouldn’t do the same things that I do to cope?”

    “You call this coping? The not sleeping, not eating, not talking. You call isolating yourself from everyone coping? You can’t be serious.”

    “I am serious, okay, I… I deserve this.”

    “How… why do you think you deserve this? You’re killing yourself. Look at you, your skin and bones, you have bags under your eyes. I can’t even remember the last time I saw you smile.”

    “Because I messed up. Okay, I messed up and I keep messing up. I’m a screw up and I can’t take it anymore. Everyday I wake up and it’s the same thing. Bullies and my dad and everyone else. I’m tired of being reminded that no one wants me everyday.”

    “I want you.”

    “You don’t have to say that.”

    “Why would you think that I’m just saying it? I don’t say things I don’t mean.”

    “Then I guess you really do think I’m fucked up, right?”

    “Yes but I also said I love you. Don’t do this to yourself babe, you have to see how much you matter and how loved you are.”

    “How loved I am by one person?”

    “Screw your dad. Screw Finn. Screw your step-mom and screw Blaine, if they can’t see how amazing you are then screw them. Same goes for everyone else.”

    “Everyone else means the whole population of Lima.”

    “Then screw the whole population of Lima, screw the whole world but what happened to the Kurt that let everything roll off his back and didn’t let anyone get to him? I miss him.”

    “Come on Seb, you really think the bullying and the abuse didn’t get to me. It broke me, I’m just too tired to hide it anymore. I’ve had so much crap thrown out me and I held my head high and I dealt with it but it still got to me. It ate me up and it tore me apart.”

    “Then let me help you. Talk to me. At least let me hug you. Don’t lock yourself away from me. I’m begging you here, let me help you.”

    “There’s nothing you can do.”

    “So you want to be miserable like this for the rest of your life? Because I don’t want you to be like that. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life with you when you’re like this.”

    “You...you want to spend the rest of your life with me?”

    “Of course I do, why wouldn’t I?”

    “Because you deserve better. I’m a screw-up. Everything I touch turns to dust.”

    “You aren’t… you’re not a screw-up Kurt, don’t call yourself that. All your life you’ve dealt with abuse from not only people that hardly knew you but also people that you thought loved you. You may be a little fucked up, you may be scarred for life but you didn’t screw anything up.”

    “I don’t want to do it anymore.”

    “Do what? This is good, just let it out.”

    “I don’t want to live anymore. I’m so tired and I hate everything. I want it to be over or… or I want to start over but I can’t take it anymore.”

    “Babe…”

    “No, they all hate me, everyone except for you and Nick and Jeff and Hunter and Sam. Everyone else sees me for who I really am and it’s terrifying. They know the truth and they aren’t afraid to use it against me. It hurts, it hurts so much and when you try and get me to talk… you’re hurting me. Because I want to, I really do but I can’t and then you act like you hate me and I feel like the worst boyfriend in the world.”

    “Kurt, honey I never wanted to make you feel that way. You aren’t the worst boyfriend in the world, you’re the best. I don’t want to hurt you. Why didn’t you tell me that before?”

    “Because I didn’t want to make you feel bad.”

    “But I was making you feel bad.”

    “It didn’t matter, I love you more than I love myself.”

    “Well you shouldn’t. You should love yourself more than anyone.”

    “I’m so sorry, Seb. You shouldn’t have to deal with me. You should just let me go.”

    “Never. I’m never letting you go Kurt Hummel, I swear. I need you and you obviously need me.”

    “I need help. I want help, at least I think I do. It's just hard to ask. I try to act so strong like nothing bothers me but it gets harder every single day. I can’t do it alone.”

    “And you don’t have to. I’ll help you and I’ll stay by your side the whole way. You just need to learn to be more open with me and everyone else.”

    “I don't want to hurt anymore. You’ll see one day how truly messed up I am and so will everyone else who still loves me and then you’ll leave and I’ll have no one. I don’t want to lose you.”

    “You won't, I promise. Come one Kurt, give me some credit. I’m not that horrible of a person. I’m not going to leave because you’re a little messed up. You have flaws like everyone else. Promise me that you know that. Promise me you’ll never forget that.”

    “I can’t promise anything. I don’t want to make a promise and then break it and have you disappointed in me.”

    “I’d never be disappointed in you for breaking that promise. You’re so strong Kurt. And brave and I wish I could make you see what I see.”

    “Just don’t leave. That’s all I need right now. Please don’t leave me, I’m so scared. You aren’t going to, right?”

    “Never. I swear I’ll be by your side for the rest of your life. I love you. Don’t be scared, I’m right here.”

    “I love you. I’m sorry.”

    “Don’t be, I love you too.”

    #glee#glee fanfiction #choose your own story #hope you liked this #kurt hummel#sebastian smythe#kurtbastian#angst#sad#hurt/comfort #let me know if you want more #and feel free to make your own #please share
    View Full