the reason why it hurts so much is because i’ve turned my pain into poetry and no matter how much i deny it, i’ve always kept you hidden somewhere between the lines.
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I look back on it as if it were a different person, a different life. Something I watched from afar.
It was real. It was loud, and trembling. And it was me.
-Jaime Ciarletto (He Has A Red Mouth)
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To her love cost a thing
She is a beautiful woman that just wants to be loved
She will give all she has blindly to every man she connects with
She has been programmed to look for love in all the wrong places and to believe that money and the gifts she gets for men equates to love
She will quickly buy clothes, traveling expenses and rooms for pleasure all to validate her affection to him
She will cash out while men cash in her wallet
She spends all not knowing that she is some man’s credit card
She will buy their presence as if it is a guarantee that they will stay
Doing this because she knows all to well that loneliness has a price to pay
She just wants to be loved
To be kissed and truly hugged
To be accepted and seen
In a search for love and what it really means
She is quick to love and she will love hard
She just wants the love she gives to be returned to her
And she isn’t wrong for wanting that
Silver tongue liars always seem to make their way into her life
She enters into relationships with her head in the clouds while their heads are in her body and wallet
She ignores the ominous signs and triggers while optimistically hoping for the best
She gives way more than she should and she knows it, just to receive any less
Men reciprocate their illusion of love towards her only on the condition of precipitated hot consummation
And after men get what they want, their feelings and desires for her evaporate
So knows how it goes
And she premonitions a cycled isolation, so she jumps to the next man, friend or whoever in the name of love
To escape being alone
All she wants is to be loved
To be heard
She deserves to be loved
To be seen
But she knows it has a cost
Love always seems to torment the most beautifulist of souls….
0When we met you were reading ‘The Heart Is A Lonely Hunter’ and I was still reading Bukowski. You showed me songs that were in the key of life and I offered you songs about sex and drugs.
There’s a weight behind all those things now. An echo of you that lingers just for a moment. Bittersweet but that’s what life is. You leave an imprint on those that you touch, smoke intertwining on the wind.
Some nights though it’s too much. And I’ll sit next to the sink with my head in my hands and a trail of acid down my throat. Trying to forget all the things you did to me. Maybe one night I’ll be able to get you out.
Tract - H.
1if you ever think about of me do you ever think you would of done it differently could you see yourself doing more then what you did when you met me I wonder how you feel now since I went missing from your life I know the day I removed myself I took my stuff and left not only did I leave with my merchandise I left with my heart along with a peace of mind how does it feel to have someone who fulfilled your needs to loved your mind and warmed your heart who lifted you up through every downfall and praised you for every accomplishment I’ll always love you but I had to leave because I saw it in your face felt it from your energy not only didn’t you appreciate me you didn’t love me that was enough for me to finally say enough was enough its time for me move on I spent all that time growing with you it was time for me to grow within myself maybe one day you will realize take care of yourself
2Después de casi 2 meses vuelvo a tener internet y lo primero que hice fue entrar a Tumblr…
After almost 2 months I have internet again and the first thing I did was go to Tumblr …
1“ When did death choose to kill itself to keep its victim alive..?”
Full piece titled “Sorry Not Sorry” available to read on my Instagram poetry account: metaxeunoia
– @zeinabbasma ☁️
1You know what type of love I enjoy the most? It’s the holding hands in the middle of a Walgreens parking lot while holding our gazes so deeply we create stories without even uttering a single word. 
2not a series per se but my psych teacher wanted us to write on the states of consciousness (which he didn’t tell us what were… so I had to google (hopefully google didn’t steer me wrong!). He told us to get as creative as we want and since my teacher is the sweetest old man and most of the students in my class treat it as a (literally spent five minutes looking for the right word and I still couldn’t find it) *filler* (easy, knock… off?, slack something, blow off!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!).
most of my classmates treat it as a blow off class, I wanted to put in effort! also, a good excuse for something I could potentially put on my writing blog (which I am doing right now)! anyway, I divided it into ‘books’ because the last one is deep sleep in which you don’t remember stuff in it so I left it completely blank and was artsy about it. Anyway, I’ll add links here!
- Book One
- Book Two
- Book Three (these dreams are actually based off my own :))
- Book Four length symbolizes the state of consciousness too wow haha!
- Book Five the end!
Can you believe he said it only had to be about a page long? … mine was definitely just a bit over that!
0A Universal Remote (9/26/20)
I try so hard to move on,
Concentrating on the goals
I want to move toward.
If I had a remote that controlled life,
I’d skip forward
To a time where writing
Doesn’t feel like such a chore,
Where I’m inspired and life isn’t such a bore.
But, for now, I’m a prisoner of fear;
Suffocating myself with smoke and cheap beer.
Begging the universe for some kind of sign,
A spark of motivation from a being so divine,
Yet nothing has come to me yet.
I know things happen when they’re supposed to,
So I have no reason to fret,
But I cannot subdue my frustration.
I’m prone to irritation,
When my creative juices are stagnant.
I just need some sort of inkling,
Some sort of fragment,
A pebble to set the landslide in motion.
If I could just focus
And silence the commotion
In my brain,
I wouldn’t take that clarity for granted
And what I create would not be in vain.
17Sometimes I just need someone in my life to make me feel wanted and important, because right now I’m feeling replaceable.
- brokenstone
0i’ve officially run out of ways to describe my love for him with fancy words so i’ll just say this: flowers bloom for him, oceans calm for him, i will wait for him until my breath runs out
1Legit miss having someone wanting my company all the time
Like calling right after work , as soon as they see me active they’re calling , checking to see if I’m free , planning our days together . When i had it i hated it
but i really really really need it now
2“The advice…was well-intentioned.
The punishment, or its attempt…also, well-intentioned.
Back then, I had started to realise that no one understood, or at the very least…I had stopped caring if they did.
If they couldn’t understand me, couldn’t help me, I would just have to understand myself. Help myself.
And I’d do it alone. If I had to.
And it seems I do; I swear I do.
But the more I do, the more lonely I feel.
Not because no one understands, no. It’s so much worse than that.
But because they all do. Everyone knows this pain. What I’m going through. What I’m struggling with. It’s so familiar to them…
…yet they don’t have an ounce of pity to spare.
Share with me.
I look at you. I see your faults and merits, your joys and pains.
I know you.
I am you.
Am I the only one who can see?
Could it be?
Am I truly the only one…like me?”
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