There’s salt water for my blood. I should know. I’ve been hurt before. I see you and the jellyfish in my stomach sting. Stop it Toni. He doesn’t love you.
I have these marks on my skin. Scars from shark bites. Living within my veins. I see you and the sharks circle and bite. Stop it Toni. He doesn’t love you.
Just breathe. He’s only human. Yet i still idolise you. I see you and my lungs fill with water. I’m drowning on dry land. Stop it Toni. He doesn’t love you.
This pain cuts me deep. The fear of losing what we have. The rejection before even asking. You damage the ecosystem beneath my skin. An alien species within.
I bleed the ocean. Spilling out fish and weeds. Dirty water. Tainted by your love. And now I’m empty and alone. Until the next to enter the biome inside. Forever dirty. Tainted. Salty.
my heart is pounding
it’s all I can hear
and it hurts
everything hurts so much
and it won’t stop
please
make it stop
i’m begging you
Some dresses flow,
Mobile and light.
Others, clutches of fabric that weigh down,
Their corset strings too tight.
It’s not a fashion statement,
Between the knuckles we are crushed against.
Leave no man behind,
I guess the ‘wo’ got missed.
Those who fit,
Are gifted privilege.
They make us so jealous,
Yearning to be like them-
I will become livid.
Society hides us from the screens,
It could be by chance,
But lacking a model body,
Won’t get you more than a glance.
It’s not all it seems,
Taken by geed, gluttony, and more…
We get pushed to the bottom,
Stripping confidence down to the core,
Avoiding showing our bodies,
This is the world we live in.
It feels as though existing here,
We will never fit in.
Taking our stance,
Has made it worse.
Enhancing the situation,
Being different seems like a lifelong curse.
Getting so sick,
My broken spirit will eventually cave-in,
When you’re ugly nothing comes easy,
This is why I never win.
Like my wasted potential.
My body feels like a used doll.
I’ve become so unhealthy,
In attempt to be small.
Damned if we do, damned if we don’t. However, there are some things I’d rather regret not doing.
-Ken Sleazy
She craved his chaos.
He worshipped her peace.
She’ll go to the depths of hell of him.
He’ll risk falling from heaven for her.
Because they are one.
His angel.
Her devil.
But when there’s war.
Who do you pick?
Family or soulmate?
4. grief
It is crushing me,
my bones are weak against the hurt these emotions cause,
but it was for the better of us, was it not?
you were screaming at first,
calling me names,
until your voice broke down and you went quiet,
you were crying when the realization hit you,
you weren’t fighting against it anymore
and you were looking at me,
I remember seeing love in your eyes,
and all of a sudden,
it seemed to me like I did the right thing,
these must have been tears of happiness, weren’t they, my love?
why did you not see my love earlier?
why did you need to die first, my love?
-b.v.
3. hatred
for so long I have tried to make you see me,
but you never did,
and for the longest time I have wanted you to love me,
but still, you never did,
you were the only one worthy of me,
but you never trusted on your feelings,
I know you felt the same for me, love
my intentions were right and pure,
while yours turned dark,
and I let myself get blinded by your beauty,
oh, my love, you truly were something special,
but you do not see my love,
and I hope that in your next life, you will be a little wiser,
since this will be more painful for me than for you,
but I will make it quick,
even if at the moment I hate you,
my love
-b.v.
2. obsession
at times you feel lonely and broken inside,
my my, you should never cry, my love
you tell all of them but no one listened and my attention wasn’t enough,
you never cared while I so deeply did about you,
I watch you cry yourself to sleep,
muttering distant words,
quiet through your bathroom windows,
you should not keep them open at night
you never saw me for my true feelings,
only white dust covering your vision,
but I know, it is not your fault, my love
oh, if you cut yourself open,
reveal the deep crimson colour of your insides,
I will follow you without a doubt,
for I know, on this lonesome earth,
there will be no me without you, my love
-b.v.
“Each day like the last
Over and over - I try to keep going
Stay up and not look to the past
I miss the high of living in a fantasy
And the world seems so grey right now, but at least I’m able to sleep
I miss the thoughts that someone was going to rush in and save me
I always said I hated fairy tales, but I guess I just wished it was me
I want to be rescued from reality and maybe catch a break
It seems everything is so difficult and my sanity is at stake
I just want a good life with the people that I love
And I really don’t think that’s too much to ask for
So I guess I’ll just keep praying to God above
I gotta take it step by step and one day at a time
I gotta keep lookin’ ahead while I’m livin’ this little life of mine”
Let’s be honest - life isn’t all rainbows and fairy tales. It’s hard living in reality. Reality bites - Winona told us a long time ago. Recently, I created a whole fantasy world for myself when my world got particularly shitty, and I recently came parachuting back down to reality - my feet finally hit the ground. And it sucks. The debt sucks, the worrying about work sucks, just overall reality sucks. I always told people that I hated fairy tales because they weren’t true, but now remembering those conversations I think I was just being a little bit bitter. I always wanted to be one of those girls in the fairy tale. I wanted some magical guy to rush in and tell me how beautiful I was and that he just couldn’t live one more day without me. That he would help me solve all of these bullshit problems. That I wouldn’t have to figure everything out on my own anymore. Unfortunately, the world doesn’t work like that - and here I am, now stuck in reality, having to move through the rubble of my life. This little life of mine is all about moving forward, even if it is ever so slowly, one day at a time, one little movement at a time - no matter how much it hurts. You got this too! Just keep moving….
1. first sight
never before has my heart felt a stronger feeling,
than when I first saw you,
my breath was uneven,
my heartbeat far too fast,
and you were just moving oh so gracefully,
the loveliest thing I had ever laid my eyes upon,
you were entering the elevator in your short plaid dress,
saw me walking behind you,
uneasily waiting for the steel doors to close in front of you,
and as if the heavens wanted our love to be,
I started coincidentally seeing you every evening,
lucky me,
you always took the same train home, my love
-b.v.
Open your WIP
Search for “Tell Words” (list included in notes)
Find all the description or action that starts with them and change it.
“There is a strike of lightning” becomes
“lightning strikes the sky.”
“There is panic building in his chest” becomes
“panic builds in his chest.”
It helps declump the writing
i have nothing to turn to
nobody i can call
you hang up the line
and i hang from the wall
She’ll do it.
And she’ll do it all for you.
It’ll hurt her.
It’ll break her.
It’ll probably even kill her.
But she’ll do it with a smile on her face.
Because all she needs is you.
So going to hell and back doesn’t sound too bad to her.
So when she finally fall apart,
Be there.
For her.
No matter how strong she is.