me n the homies grubbin it up
You know, Ross from Friends is a lot more likeable when you realize he’s on the spectrum and is, in fact, a closeted trans woman. I know this is a hot take, but hear me out:
1) A lot of his physical mannerisms? His special interest (dinosaurs)? His difficulty picking up social cues? Sometimes black/white thinking? Those are all spectrum things.
2) I can think of at least two instances of someone making a joke/pointing out a time when Ross did something very feminine as a child.
Like the time they were looking at a picture of him as a toddler and they thought he was Monica and his response was an embarrassed “I was just trying something.” (i.e. tucking his genitals between his legs).
And the time Monica and their mother teased him about how he used to wear full outfits of their mother’s clothes, throw tea parties, and would sing a song about it. And his reaction was stronger than just embarrassment. I don’t know what word I would use to describe it, but it felt more like shame or intense fear at being seen in that way.
(I know there were a couple other instances like this, but my mind is blanking!)
3) A lot of his insecurities are around gender roles. And yet, despite this, he gravitates towards traditionally feminine forms of expression. Wearing pink (“salmon”) shirts, liking the shirt with the swirly patterns that was actually a woman’s shirt. It’s mentioned he likes yoga and goes to that regularly (not just a “woman” thing, I know, but at least in modern Western culture, yoga is certainly coded as a feminine thing).
In fact, Ross only insists on masculine expression when he’s in social situations where it’s expected (and he feels threatened by it). Ross had a lot of toys as a kid, some girly, but he doesn’t want Ben to have a Barbie. So much so, that he spends an entire episode trying to force Ben into liking GI Joe and other masculine toys. I don’t think he’d be lashing out that strongly if he wasn’t feeling triggered (i.e. “Ben can’t like girl toys, because I did and I was mocked for it. Doing boy things if you look like a boy keeps you safe. If Ben follows what boys are supposed to do, then he’ll be safe too.” or something similar).
4) This holds the least weight, but one of the writers is gay. There are gay flags/motifs everywhere when you look for them. Mostly at Carol and Susan’s, but also in backgrounds that aren’t Central Perk. Rachel’s birthday party in Season 2 had trans flag colored balloons (like the same stripe order and everything). There’s no way a queer man in the 90s after the AIDS epidemic, who was writing about characters in NYC where many trans women paved the way for gay rights, wouldn’t know about the trans flag.
These are all things that my roommate (mtf) and her girlfriend (mtf) and many of their trans-women friends all experienced growing up, and as adults prior to coming out. My roommate was the one to point it out, because she used to be angry and insecure in all those same ways before transitioning. Obviously, I can’t say that’s the trans-woman experience for everyone, but there are a lot of parallels for sure.
Anyway, I know a lot of y’all will be like, “Nah, Ross is just an embodiment of toxic masculinity.”
And that’s fine. At a surface level, that is what it looks like. But, for all his faults (and I am the first to admit he has a lot), he does genuinely care about his friends and he grows a lot over the series. He still gets triggered and is still entitled in some ways at the end (but that’s more because of his shitty fucking parents. If the 90s had more awareness of family dynamics, trauma, and mental health, Ross would probably be receptive to changing his behavior). But he becomes less rigid, more willing to make jokes about himself/his marriages/his behaviors (which he would never have done in, like, seasons 1-6).
But you can pry this headcanon from my cold, dead hands. Because I don’t know about you, but one-dimensional toxic masculinity isn’t the dose of reality I want in my fictional friends group.
The problem with people is that they either talk too much, or they don’t talk at all. They lock it up inside themselves and let the internal warfare multiply and desiccate. A lot of people would talk, I suppose, but it’s sometimes easier to be the person people think you are rather than admit the truth. This isn’t a piece about hidden emotion, mental illness, grief, madness, sadness. It’s one piece of advice.
At some point in everyone’s life, we all look around ourselves and realize that we are not in the right room anymore; it’s then the decision whether to stay, or to go.
Sometimes we cry out for people to find us shelter. Shelter from mundanity, organized depravity, politics, the electricity bill, your children been bullied at school, your husband and that other woman. We cry out for love, and happiness. We cry out for sadness. We cry out for emptiness.
But don’t lie when you know you shouldn’t. Lies destroy everything. They spiral and multiply until you’ve gone so far you can’t remember where you started. And it will always come back to haunt you. That first untruth…it will bring your house of cards tumbling down.
Above us is only sky, and, from that, extended Universe. The original production.
Have you ever bore witness to acorns falling from the trees and to the ground below, making an immensely hazardous flood for the elderly, people on bicycles, and small children, and the flood of them in the forests, been watered, and soaking into the soil below. Becoming a new Acorn tree, or becoming compost? The entertainment of natural rebirth, recycle, disintegration, becoming. A lot could be learned…from the height of acorns.
Everyone is damaged. Somewhere, some part of them. It’s a side affect of a little thing called “life”. Human beings are made to live and love…and suffer immensely in sometimes not-so-equal portions.
Family meetings, “Time To Part”, What Our Once-Small Human Beings Are Now Up To As Difficult, Uptight, Ignorant, Know-It-All-Know-Nothing, Problematic, and A-Tiny-Bit-Disturbed Adolescents, Wedding Joys, and Money Matters; we all have it.
All these episodes, all of this time.
Trust me. It sounds typical to say, but time does go quick. I know better than anyone, having wasted the last twelve years of my life. I talked yesterday about a poem talked about at funerals; the two dates on a gravestone. Your birth, your death, and in-between, that little dash. The dash that sums up everywhere you’ve ever been; every breath, every kiss. Every meal. Soon, you’ll find, everything goes so fast, and that little dash is now it. Everything is irretrievably gone.
My friend needs help paying her phone bill. She advised her male roommate that he has to be gone by the 3rd but after today she will have no way to contact anyone in case something goes down.
Cash app $DeshaviousDavis and money will be directed accordingly.
Fusion of my friend’s Amber and Moonstone.
Her weapon is a rattle with expanded Sap control ability. When launched at the target, she shakes the rattle and the sap hardens, and if she wants it to go back to liquid she shakes again.
She has the Moonstone Light arm, and a sap arm created by herself. Her second pair of arms is used only for fighting and strength.
Ok so with the Quad Meme going around, I used my herb Twink…A LOT. and a lot of trolls like him which I’m like :O. I’m gonna list off the results and tag y’all so something can be sorted out.
Coyote, Evered -Lavender
Staius -Crappy Fantrolls
Marcel(?), Sevlin(?) -Vaporwave
Zerous, Kohana(?) -Vaporwave
Cirina -Crappy Fantrolls
Orteut -Crappy Fantrolls
Lia -Faithlines (She Applies to Any)
Cunari - Huntertrolls
Soltar, Melura, Yeseta- ask-trolls
W H E W
If I forgot any for the herb Twink I’ll add later
At first, I liked being the friend that everybody went to vent to bc I got some sort of reassurance knowing I had helped them, but rn it’s eating me alive. It has always been really hard for me to express how I’m feeling and now, whenever I even try to all I get is “omg that’s nothing, you have it so good, listen to what happened to me…”. Their problems just keep adding to the already existing weight of me keeping it all to myself and I feel like exploding.
**Warning: Major Spoilers from Friends and True Blood**
I’ve been rewatching episodes on Friends on the DVDs (since Netflix took the show off), and in the middle of one of these episodes, a thought just occurred to me:
Does anyone realize how eerily similar the Ross/Rachel relationship from Friends is to the Jessica/Hoyt relationship from True Blood? And I don’t mean that in a positive way.
Both relationships feature a couple that were popular for their day.
Both relationships have not aged well because of problematic elements that people are now starting to notice.
Both couples were immature to varying degrees, and that immaturity caused issues in said relationships.
Both couples were not really willing to work through the issues in their relationship, and both relationships fell apart as a result.
Both Friends and True Blood had another relationship on their shows (Chandler/Monica from Friends and Andy/Holly from True Blood) that served as a foil to Ross/Rachel and Jessica/Hoyt.
Both Ross and Hoyt were entitled “nice guys” who became extremely nasty when their relationships with Rachel and Jessica fell apart.
Both Ross and Hoyt had aspects of male entitlement, childishness, pettiness, and self-absorbed behavior that made them genuinely unpleasant to watch.
Both Ross and Hoyt had excuses made for them by their shows, and were never truly called out for their behavior.
Both shows featured Rachel and Jessica as women who had previously led sheltered/suppressed lives, and were forced to take jobs as waitresses to make it through.
Both Rachel and Jessica had shitty father figures (Dr. Green and Bill Compton).
Both Rachel and Jessica were expected by their boyfriends to always be there for their needs (Examples: Ross not wanting Rachel to work all the time so she can be his girlfriend, and Hoyt getting angry when Jessica wouldn’t cook for him).
Both relationships featured a himbo character (Joey Tribbiani/Jason Stackhouse) who came in and made the relationship more complicated than it needs to be.
Both Rachel/Joey and Jessica/Jason could have been well written relationships that featured character development for everyone involved………..until the writers from both shows dropped the ball on them.
Both Rachel and Jessica were shamed by the narration for breaking up with the “nice guy” character.
Both Ross/Rachel and Jessica/Hoyt had relationship issues that were brought up, and were either not properly addressed or were brushed under the rug by the end of the series.
Both Rachel/Joey and Jessica/Jason were forced to cater to the whims of Ross and Hoyt, who made the entire situation all about them and how they were hurt over their ex-girlfriends leaving them for their best friend.
Both shows waited until the last few episodes of the series to reunite Ross/Rachel and Jessica/Hoyt. It came off as contrived, and threw out the character development of Rachel and Jessica.
Both Ross/Rachel and Jessica/Hoyt were framed as great relationships when in reality they were both toxic.
Also, as an added bonus, both Friends and True Blood featured Brian Buckner as a writer and producer. Make of that what you will.
One time, when I was still with my ex bf we were hanging out with some friends and he said something along the lines of “big butt”. So I asked what they were talking about and his answer was “certainly not about you”. The other day I was with the boy I’m currently dating, we were talking and I got up. He stared at me and then told me “nice booty”. That’s not about appearance. The thing is, all my life I had been really insecure and mistreated and it’s only now I’m starting to realize that I used to let people hurt me because I thought I deserved it (that applies to friendships too). But that’s not true. We let other people’s behavior distort the way we see ourselves. That’s why it’s time to realize that, although we may have the illusion that we love or need those people, truth is we are only dependent on the need of their acceptance -something we are never going to get- to feel better with ourselves. So, as hard as it is, we need to cut those toxic people off first, to achieve self love. Only then we’ll know what we deserve and who truly deserves us.
The game Plague Inc involves you creating a disease that kills everyone including your family, friends and even yourself
Well…huh… does this happen to you?
My first ever commission AND my first ever comic!
You might actually recognize this guy from a few posts ago 💙
Addendum: Written in Retrospect. ✌🏻
Got inked by Dinuguan for the second time in the last 6 months of my quarterly sidetrip to London. ‘Bloody’ hell! 🤪
📍Kamayan Restaurant, London UK