Definitely not me completely convinced I have BED
Definitely not me completely convinced I have BED
A note to the perfect me:
I don’t think I remember ever being disappointed in myself as a kid until I realized that other people were disappointed in me. Now that I’m older, I really don’t understand why they were disappointed at all.
Of course kids are going to fail at things that their parents wish they would excel in. Even as an adult, I am constantly failing myself. I have learned not to talk myself down into believing I am a disappointment, though.
Yes, I do want to reach goals and accomplish my dreams and believe that I am, in fact, perfect; what is it that everyone always says? Nobody is perfect?
Of course I understand the sentence and what it attempts to say, but at the same time I am thinking that everybody is perfect, just not in the way society says we should be.
I am perfect because I am me, and I am perfect because I fail and falter at the things I do.
Will I get mad at myself and say things I shouldn’t? Absolutely. Will I wish that things could be different? I mean, sometimes I do and I will continue to wish for certain things, but that does not determine my excellence and my perfection.
To lay out what really angers me and causes that disappointment stemmed from the beliefs others have portrayed on me since childhood:
Not accomplishing “enough”
How I think others perceive me
These are just a few things that can ruin my day and throw me into a depressive mindset. They destroy my ability to move forward in life and chase after goals and dreams; they make me feel worthless and hopeless. I want people to like me, and to think I have someone who hates me makes all these negative thoughts take over. It doesn’t matter how much I believe I am good or that I like myself even a little, because suddenly I am disappointed and sad.
I have to trust in myself that my body is perfect, my mind is perfect, and who I am is perfect in order to recover. There is no sense in being sad that someone else might not like you or someone else things some way about you, because only you are living your life, just as they are living theirs.
And so to my perfect self I want to say:
Whatever beauty you see in the world belongs to you and is a part of you, because like how the world is perfect, so are you.
Me trying not to have a mental breakdown bc i love cake but cant have any wout wanting to kill myself cause calories:
my mom just called me a “health nut” because i eat vegetables frequently...ma’am they are simple low in cals
Why do so many products that are low-sugar alternatives include stevia. God FUCKING forbid anything not be tooth rottingly sweet for 2 seconds. Why do ketchup and instant oatmeal have to be as sweet as a dessert. I'm buying a low sugar version I want it to be NOT AS SWEET but no I guess if quaker or heinz sells something that either doesn't have over 20g of sugar per cup or equivalent sweetness their heads explode or something.
They say "we need every pantry staple of yours to be so sweet we might as well be putting caramel in this shit. Pants shittingly sugary stuff" and if you say "well I'd like one that doesn't have all that sugar though" they reply "okay but our original statement still stands so we're going to put stuff in it that makes your mouth taste like lightly floral scented bathroom cleaner after eating it instead of actual sugar" and I guess if you ask for ones that have less actual sweetness they like shoot you on the spot or something
recovery is for YOU, I eat 2000 calories everyday like it's nothing
Pro tip- when you start shaking and crying in the penguin tank, get the fuck out of there? Unless you want the first aid responder called bc you’re half-conscious on the floor of the penguins office
I'm looking at the fucking calorie journal thing we had to do for health class in grade 6 and lmao it's so funny to me that I put that a teenage girl needs 1600 calories a day so that's how much I'll eat and UwU be healthy. AND THEY MADE US LOG OUR CALORIES FOR A FULL WEEK LOL-
Like bitch okay ty for teaching little 12 year old me to count calories, down to which app was best and everything you really helped my ED
i feel so full 🙇🏻♀️
To the, “Everything okay?” message, no, I’m not okay, gimme my thinspo
Nooo buying safefoods is supposed to be fun ;-;
calories in diet coke don't count
when i was 3yo & my pediatrician told me im fat & made me start a bunch of diets, that was the start of my joker story
(fun fact: starting dieting that young made my body not know how to process sugar because they banned me it & now i keep fainting because it... no matter what i do my body can barely adsorb sugar..)
haven’t had a good old fasioned ”dying bc of too much sugar”-binge in so long and I want it. NOW.
Having a fast metabolism is a ✨pain✨
if I hear "I wish I had that problem!" ONE MORE TIME
Yeah everyone loves that I have a low appetite and a high metabolism in theory
until your blood sugar drops out regularly and you're shaky and faint and then you have to try and eat but you're so nauseous it feels like you're going to throw up
"low appetite" means that I'm constantly feeling full and trying to eat is a daily struggle
"oh I wish I could go 24 hours without eating like you!" I was so nauseous I was MISERABLE
"I wish I had low blood volume so I could eat more meat" no, I assure you, you dont
because having low blood volume means constantly drinking water and taking salt supplements and when you lose literally any of that blood you feel terrible for the next week, not to mention the blood pressure medication and corticosteroids, or the POTS
literally stop saying you wish you had my disability I wish I was rid of it everyday