This is as far as I got this movie isn’t interesting
So somehow the topic of ddlg came up and this one dude is like “isn’t it a lifestyle or something?” In a mocking/joking way and I’m like “it kind of is” and he’s like “how do you know? Are you into it or something?” And I’m like “don’t question it” and this one chick in the back is like “please don’t tell me you’re a little girl” and I just frickin loudly say “gosh, guys stop”
By far the best day of freshman year
I didnt microwave my croissant sandwhich long enough and its an ice cube in the middle. ima just suck on it i guess
Make this go virale
Disney really teaches little girls valuable lessons
That moment when I tried going emo with black lipstick:
Pretty sure this mercedes dealer ship guy tried to abduct my sister an I. First time he came to us was ok, asked us what we were lookin for, range and all that then said, find me if you need anything.
THEN abt 5 mins later he comes back in a car and says ‘Get in, ill take you to our other lot to look around’ there is no other Mercedes car dealership within 5 miles. And he was VERY persistant with tryna get us in his car. He drove over to park and we BOLTED TF OUTTA THERE
You: “Which genre of music do you like?”
Me, an intellectual: “Sad, but make it Pop”
Why does my cat not understand after all this time that THOSE ARE MY FEET under the blanket and it is Very RUDE when he sinks his claws into my flesh at 5:30am waking me from a dead sleep. Disrespectful
Let us spray.
Me analyzing every scene with Thor and Steve together, and then seeing them make eye contact:
My blog is a big ass mess of my life and how i view it. If any of yall read my shit 1, i apologize 2, i hope u take the opportunity to change how you see your own life. Dont look yo all the bad things, look to all the weird shit goin on around ya.
Lol hun thats impressive
After all the background checks, interviews and testing were completed, they had narrowed the field down to 3 possible agents. For the final test, the FBI agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun. ‘We must know that you will follow your instructions no matter what the circumstances.’
Inside the room you will find your wife sitting in a chair… we need you to kill her’ The man said, 'You can’t be serious. I could never shoot my wife.’ The agent said, 'Then you’re not the right man for this job. Take your wife and go home.’
The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about 5 minutes. The man came out with tears in his eyes, 'I tried, but I can’t kill my wife.’ The agent said, 'You don’t have what it takes. Take your wife home.’
Finally, the last man was given the same instructions, to kill his wife. He took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the man, wiping the sweat from his brow. 'Some idiot loaded the gun with blanks’ he said. 'I had to strangle that bitch to death’.submitted by /u/impossiblePie287