yknow how i said that imma keep this consistent..
so.... its a month later. wooooooooowwwwwwwwwww. during this period i have:
1.acknowledged my crush( i cant tell if its gay or not.. more on that later)
2.not decided on my enby name
3.attempted to come out to my mum
1. okay so i have a crush... on my ex best friend, who LEFT THE SCHOOL I GO TO. theyre only my ex bestie because they left the school and i still see them sometimes. there are two problems with this. *allegedly* my crush also has a crush on me. i havent seen them since i heard this and i think our next meetings gonna be veeerryy awkward. HOWever... idk if this is like a 'gay' crush or not. i am a fem?enby? (i think) and my crush is a masc enby.. or not idek. this would make my crush straight. BUT.. i have known them since we were like.. four or smth so i percieve them as strongly feminine (they came out as nonbinary recently). anyone have advice??
2. i realised i was probably nonbinary during the summer. i came up with a shortlist for nonbinary names.. as you do..., and the last two names on my list were kade and rain. me, being indecisive, decided that i should just blend the names together to create........... kain!! anyone asks questions i just say something about a religious studies lesson and cain and abel. simple. so obviously i thought this was a great idea for about a month. it started feeling off though, so attempted sage and nox. no. didnt work. im kinda thinking ams now (not tooooooo far off my birthname, short , relates to some of my favourite tv shows /amity blight and amethyst from steven universe/ AND its kinda fem without being that bad) has anyone got any ideas relating to genderneutral names which could be passed off as a nickname for emma. tysm
3. i told my mom 'i think i might like girls' she said im too young to label myself. welp.