Good morning, Tumblr!
I’ve been assigned to keep a journal during all this about my experiences and what my community is going through during this time so this blog will now serve a second function.
I am living in Kalamazoo Michigan. Michigan in the last few weeks has become 3rd in the nation for corona virus cases and now has the highest death rate. Most of that is happening on the east side of the state while I’m on the west side, but there’s no way it hasn’t reached here yet. Kalamazoo county is reporting 40 cases confirmed positive so far…but we also haven’t been able to get tests so nobody really knows.
From what I understand, my school which announced its closing almost 3 weeks ago now was one of the last to do so. At the time, Michigan wasn’t doing ‘badly’ at all and it was hard to take it seriously. I had a professor tell us we wouldn’t be coming back in spring, but for a moment there I really believed we’d only be closed for the first 2 weeks. Thinking back, it was very eerie doing our final presentation to only the professor and her kids, as she had allowed everybody not presenting to go home.
My mom is off work since last week. Her boss is the type that demanded she be back to work while she was literally in the emergency room with me one time so, that was unexpected. She never gets days off. We never thought her work place would close, but under the law, everything is closed.
I watch facebook pages that have been set up as networks for people to provide and receive mutual aid in our town. There’s also been one to direct people to struggling local restaurants. I haven’t contributed, but I know I should. I’ve been overwhelmed. I’ve been tired. I also, just can’t stop wishing that this all just wasn’t happening. I understand these feelings are unproductive. I’m working on it.
I have a large family in town. My grandparents, aunts and uncles, and my mom all live on one street, so as you can imagine we’re very close. I haven’t went to visit since school closed and everybody left though, because I feel too scared of bringing something to my grandparents. My great grandmother is supposed to be turning 104 this year and last time I was there she was sitting on the couch asking for a hug like always. My abuela when she saw me warned me that I shouldn’t go back to school, that it wasn’t safe around all those people, and was surprised when I told her we’d closed and everybody had gone home. She told me that I should take my 6yo little cousin to my apartment with me. I said another day, but I’ve been too scared to visit ever since.
I have visited my immediate family, but not in a few days because it things just keep getting more serious and I feel so nervous. My dad, for example, doesn’t live at my mom’s house, but visits frequently, and i know he hasn’t changed his style of life since all this has happened I don’t know who he’s been in contact with. I miss my family a lot, but I feel so nervous because I don’t want to pick anything up from them. The delay in symptoms is scary. After I see my family, I can’t see at all anybody else for a few days because I could be carrying it. I don’t want to get it because even though I don’t fear for my own safety, I don’t want to give it to others.
My roommate is figuring out whether he can come back to Kalamazoo or not. I know that if I get sick, he definitely can’t come back so that’s something else that makes me feel very cautious. I know it’s a petty little thing, but I just miss him a lot. When I first heard about the pandemic and our school being closed for 2 weeks, I was lowkey really excited. It would be time for my housemates and I to play games, watch shows, cook things, read books, and have adventures. At the time when I expressed that, I remember a professor looked at me very sternly. I didn’t understand why at the time, but of course I do now.
I don’t think anybody from K has gotten sick yet, at least not the ones that stayed in Kalamazoo. My family members that were initially talking about hosting barbecues have now shifted to sharing warnings to stay inside. Things feel more serious every day. That’s the context in which this is all occurring.
Shifting gears a bit to the daily report I’ve been doing, today was a bigger struggle than yesterday. I haven’t really done anything for my classes except read 10 pages in Marx’s capital which I’m already 2 weeks ahead of the game on. It’s 5pm. I haven’t been able to sleep at night. I get so tired right around 9/10 but I only sleep for 2-3 hours and then I can’t fall asleep afterwards.
I know I should be reading my other books, but I feel nervous to order them in paper because they’re not essential objects and I don’t want to put further strain on workers shipping packages right now. My eyes hurt from looking at screens all the time. I don’t know what to do and I don’t particularly want to do it. I do want to read, I just wish I had bought the books in print at the bookstore when I could go there.
People want zoom chats and long distance hangouts now, but I’ve spent the majority of my time in the last 3 weeks all by myself. It feels overwhelming, anxiety inducing, and tiresome to engage in social situations even though I miss people so bad. The energy leading up to a social situation and the actual time spent in it can sometimes leave me drained for the whole day.
I’m a TA for a intro biology class to evolution and genetics. I’m in charge of a group of 8 students and I’m supposed to engage them in conversation and weekly check ins. None of my students have responded to me asking for introductions so far and I don’t want to press more, but it’s my job, and I don’t know what to do about that.
I don’t think we should be doing school right now. I really don’t. I think they should have ended our year and we’d figure out the rest later. I’m here for the community networks, but I think the pretext of school that they have to happen in is a bit much. It feels like we’re still responsible for producing our knowledge as a commodity, and life is still supposed to function with the exchange of that commodity as the foundation of our social relations. It’s just not practical.
I hear my neighbor in the apartment next to me playing a horn instrument. I really wish I had a horn instrument. I’ve been really missing playing music with others in this time, probably because it’s something that makes me feel most connected to other people. I may try to acquire one. I just miss playing music as an outlet in general. This is another instance where i feel regretful to have turned down that time my dad offered me a drum set. At the time, I was thinking I wouldn’t ever have time to play. The tides have definitely shifted now.
Okay. Lowkey, I’ve decided to go to my mom’s house this evening. I will self isolate afterwards. I just need food and love. Thanks for tuning into today team. I’ll decide tomorrow if I’m also going to blog on weekends or just on school days.
he feels elated in the hallway because he knows you’re waiting for him. loosens his skinny black tie with one hand and unlocks the apartment with the other, stepping inside to warmth and apple cinnamon spice. you’re in the bedroom somewhere, and he drops his coat and briefcase and tries to sense you.
he’s your man, and when he comes home to you, his hair takes your breath away. he works somewhere boring that makes him dress handsome, and his suit’s always a touch too pristine for his wild curls. you meet him by the front door for a kiss and get your hands on his hips. when you have him alone to yourself, you’re greedy. he’s big but he makes a small sound when you grope him everywhere, tongue past pretty pink lips, and nuzzle his beard.
Who the hell is ready to kick ass and take a baseball bat to the knees of life?!
Quarantine sucks, but theres tons to do! Workout from home! Draw! Read! Play videogames! Learn to cook something new! Put sigils and seals around your house/apartment/dorm to ward off the duolingo owl! Summon a demon!
Lots of fun activities for you to do indoors!
But seriously, stay safe and take care of yourselves today and every day into the foreseeable future! 💕
Good morning. I’m just chilling. Breakfast. Breadkfast.
I really don’t have anything to say.
The closest thing to aesthetic you will ever see me attempt lmao. This has been my lunch every day and honestly I get SO excited when I know it’s almost time to make it.
- peanut butter and cinnamon apples
- turkey bacon, egg, and dairy-free cheese
- high fiber tortilla (bc my gut is still ass backward and I need as much fiber as possible)
She’s just so… 😙👌
Yesterday I did a homemade ab workout and I FEEL it today which I love. Probably gonna go on a nice long sweaty walk after ‘work’ today. Stay safe and stay sane everyone!
i truly hate influencer culture.
1) an influencer posts about feeling sick but not meeting criteria to be tested for coronavirus
2) uses some connection to get tested
3) tests positive
4) goes to the hamptons with her family where she proceeds to post content of her taking peaceful walks outside and the like
5) people are upset that she has intentionally and knowingly gone against travel advisory issued to slow down the spread of coronavirus
6) in your standard influencer style apology, states that she, her husband, and her childrens’ nanny initially all felt sick and decided to self quarantine however she attempted to maintain rountine by still playing with her children and she’s sorry and feels a lot of remorse. and that she followed CDC guidelines after receiving her diagnosis
7) except 5 days after receiving said diagnosis…….she and her family went to the hamptons where she proceeded to make tiktoks and post on instagram
8) here’s how i feel after reading like 5 dumb articles on buzzfeed and people on some pointlessly wealthy woman and her family showing their asses and yet facing no consequences during a global pandemic:
Good morning Iowa and everyone everywhere in lockdown.