“greek-Bros: Wing Dad”
Hermes: *talking to Dionysus* You know, I REALLY haven’t gotten a good lay in such a long time but I’ve been so damn busy lately.
Dionysus: Really? Come on you finish your chores and your daily tasks before 1 pm how is THAT possible?
Hermes: Look unless someone but Thanatos in a box again, I’m probably going to have to do myself off in the meantime.
Zeus: *over hearing all of this from a far* hmmm……oh I wish I could help hermes in his time of need…..I KNOW WHAT TO DO! *gets his most trusted eagle and whispers to find Aphrodite and see if the bird can get here near Hermes*
Eagle: *nods as if it actually cared about doing this task and flew off to find Aphrodite bathing in a river, takes her sandle and flies off with it*
Aphrodite: *finishes her bath and sees the eagle taking her sandle* WHAT THE? GIVE THAT BACK YOU STUPID BIRD! *Just calmly fallows the bird because she’d be damned if she would actually stress about this*
*back to hermes and Dionysus*
Dionysus: well why don’t you ask Aphrodite? I mean she isn’t going to say no. *Remembering his time with her and blushes*
Hermes: Um no, honestly I want something of a relationship, something reasonable and that would take some time and such….you know like a normal person?
Dionysus: dude, she really isn’t going to say no, in fact she literally wants anyone except Hephaestus.
Hermes: AND THATS my deal, I don’t want to do Hephaestus dirty like…plus I’m pretty certain Ares isn’t going to take that well either and I’m not in the mood to have to run away from Ares again….that guy can trek it at 80mph and go like that for hours….that and it’s not like an opportunity is going to just fall out of the sky. *Suddenly, a sandle falls on his head and lands on his lap* …what the? *Picks it up*
Dionysus: *recognizes the sandle* dude…is that-
Aphrodite: *cheerfully walks up to hermes* OH HERMES! You took my sandle back from big mean bird that took it from me! (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*.✧
Hermes: *shocked and confused* wait wut b-b-but I didn’t-
Aphrodite: *picks him up* This calls for a reward! *Drags him by is shirt* Oh we’re going to have so much fun! Sexy fun!
Hermes: WAIT NO I CAN EXPLAIN! NO NOT LIKE THIS! IM CUTE, HANDSOME AND YOUNG TO FACE ARES’S WRATH AND DO HEPHAESTUS DIRTY….again… PLEASE LET ME- AHHHHhhhh *gets dragged into a bush*
Dionysus: *probably can’t do much of anything right now knowing that Aphrodite loves rough, unpleasant sex* ……..*reaches out for something to fall from the sky* ITS NOT LIKE A LONG, LOVING AND MEANINGFUL RELATIONSHIP THAT ANY LIVING THING LONGS FOR IS GOING TO FALL RIGHT OUT OF THE SKY! *suddenly a half eaten fish lands in his hands* what the? *Looks up as sees a Harpy dive bombing him for the fish* AH!
Hermes: *exhausted, beaten and brused* …ow…who would have known aphrodite was into s&m?
Apollo: why do you think Ares and her hook up so much?
Dionysus: *covered in bandages and wrappings* yeah I mean I found out the hard way myself.
Apollo and Hermes: *staring at the Harpy next to dionysus*
Dionysus: STOP STARING AT KAREN! We’re going to make this relationship work and she is a wonderful person.
Karen: *let’s out a terrible scream like some demented goose*
Zeus: *again watching from a distance* I am such a good father. *Proud of himself*