Hannibal had an array of custom made suits with matching vests and ties while Will had two shirts and one of them was denim...let me tell you who the real criminal of the show was
Hannibal had an array of custom made suits with matching vests and ties while Will had two shirts and one of them was denim...let me tell you who the real criminal of the show was
Hannibal's only crime was the blue suit he wore in ep 1 wtf was that, I don't blame Jack for thinking he was the patient
i know everyone calls will the gothic heroine but i see a lot of that trope present in abigail as well and i wish we got more intimate scenes of her horrific realization that killing was a part of her life and that she desired it as much as she was repulsed by it
will graham isn't a class traitor. he just went from “eat the rich” to “eat the rich and also everyone else,” that’s called building good self-esteem
"my child is fine"
your child kins Will Graham
hugh dancy: will is sort of this.... shlubby guy..
me, wearing the nearly the exact same canvas jacket: 😶
to elaborate on how lame i am on paper:
never been in a relationship
never had a real job
live with parents at 20
watch one anime and it's jojo
use tumblr daily in 2021
have used tumblr for 7 years straight
shitty low effort wardrobe
has multiple hannibal playlists with taylor swift songs in them
and somehow im still sexy idk how i do it
RANDOM HEADCANONS : part one.
although she regards them as indulgences, her smoking has revolved into an addiction, commonly indulged in during the evenings or moments of uncertainty and unrest. it calms her down tremendously and her cigarettes are, who would have thought, custom made as well. alcina also owns a vast collection of cigars and pipes, but she solely favours her cigarettes for the extravagant cigarette holder she possesses. it's that extra touch of luxury she enjoys.
she rarely touches wines that are not her own or not infused with blood, but the wine room is packed with romanian, italien and french wines - ranging from feteasca regală to chianti. the oldest wine bottle in the room, however, a bordeaux, dates back to the 1700s and merely serves as decoration. the two bottles arranged on racks closest to the sanguis virginis all date back to the birth years of alcina's daughters and alcina herself. the 1930s les forts de latour' for her daughters and a mouton rothschild from 1878.
on that note [ thanks to a lovely discord interaction with another alcina mun ] : wardrobe, tableware and parts of the furniture have been exclusively customed for alcina. the bathtub in the small bathroom was an unnecessary touch and she favors the pool in the room with the statues, but her bed is massive. the castle's main interior, and i am talking THE DOORS, remained the same as instructed by alcina. reasons are mostly her ego and her unwillingness to renovate the entirety of the castle. it's part ego, part denial.
food should be obvious, but it's hannibal lecter-esque cuisine as opposed to the bakers' grotesquely cooked meals. alcina and the girls have a cook, female as every staff member in the castle, that prepares their dishes. alcina has to sustain herself on human flesh and blood, but she doesn't simply munch on a raw liver and concludes dinner like that. alcina comes from an aristrocratic family and is accustomed to elevated meals. they are served a menu, differing every morning, that alcina skims over the night before and either approves of or scribbles little notes on if there is something not to her liking. she is extremely extra and she LOVES blood based-dishes. ( duh! ) the french coq au vi, italian sanguinaccio dolce, blood pudding, etc. you get my meaning.
on that note: SHE HATES GARLIC. no, she is not allergic in the typical vampire sense. no, decorating your entire room with garlic a lá lucy westenra won't stop her from feeding on you, but it will annoy her because ...smell. her aversion to garlic even had its beginning in her mortal life, as garlic stimulates red blood cell and heme production, which in result worsened the symptoms of alcina's porphyria. since her blood disease is the main cause for her diet, consuming garlic will generally heighten her bloodlust in the negative sense. the cooks employed at castle dimitrescu are immediately instructed what to serve the lady of the castle and whatnot. there have been cooks that added garlic ( because why wouldn't you add garlic to a yummy dish ) who consequently were brought to the cellars.
she's a classical music lady, who would've thought. there is not even much to add on that part. mozart, bach, chopin, vivaldi, schubert. alcina's always been considered musically inclined. she plays the piano exceptionally well and taught her three daughters.
┌ good news! i'm gonna be coming home soon! - connor (hannibal) ┘
@intuitkiller || Resident Evil VII: Biohazard Starters || Accepting
It was getting warm. The weekend was predicted to offer sweltering temperatures in the triple digits in Michigan, & Detroit was no exception. Even being bordered by the river which separated the city from their neighbors to the north would not dissipate the heat, nor had it been in the days leading up to the forecasted spike to this already brutal heatwave. Connor had been forced to adapt his wardrobe, much to his displeasure, as he did more commonly in the summer months, but he was never without a jacket. The air conditioning inside the Central Precinct was cranked to maximum & short sleeves didn’t offer much protection from the cold. Anything was better than the sweltering heat outside, but Connor couldn’t wait to get out. His case load had been light recently & it gave him time; time in which he could overthink, speculate. His mind was always working but it tended to drift off into his elaborate imagination when he was not otherwise occupied & missing the man he loved.
Will leaving on road trips for Crawford wasn’t an uncommon practice, even after Lecter had left him damaged both inside & out. The detective expected Will felt obligated, as if it were his duty to continue the work he had started when he was brought onboard to help catch the Shrike. He was just glad his boyfriend didn’t have nightmares about Hobbs anymore. Small blessings offered greater relief, & Will deserved that relief. But there was plenty to be enjoyed as his phone rang from across the bullpen & Connor hurried over from his coffee excursion in the break room to pluck the cell from it’s charging station at his desk. As he looked at the name on the caller ID, he smiled & answered it with enthusiasm.
The news couldn’t have been more exciting. ❝ Solved it already, huh? I had a feeling you would. ❞ His voice was smooth yet teasing, always playful when he was happy. He rounded the desk to sit & got about as comfortable as he could in the minimalist, high backed leather & metal roller chair, though he didn’t immediately get back to work. There was nothing going on, nothing to wrestle his attention away. Only Will. He sat back & set his coffee on a coaster. One leg crossed over the other at the knee. ❝ You’re so clever, Will. I’m really proud of you. ❞ Common praise, nothing new. He always praised Will. Sometimes he felt like he was the only one who told him what he needed to hear, offered any reassurance that he was on the right path. God knows Will didn’t assure himself. He just did what he was told & hoped for results as his mind fractured under stress.
A small conversation followed, questions about the case & whatever wasn’t in the news. Connor had a habit of following Wills cases by less than proper means, never solely through the papers or digital articles he obtained on his phone. Sometimes he had a mind to follow a little too closely, see if he could be of any assistance even when he had his own work cut out for him. It was never his focus, but after a seed had been planted it tended to sprout in time. The detective had, sometimes, texted Will late into the night as he’d thought of something that perhaps hadn’t been looked into. Will never asked how he knew what he did - Connor just knew. It was easier to take the advice than ask questions. This time, he hadn’t had to. They were always on the same wavelength, always of the same mind. Connor asked his questions & Will confirmed his suspicions. Even a thousand miles apart, they made a good team.
❝ So, I was thinking, ❞ the detective said after a while, the tone of the conversation shifting to something a little less work related & a little more them related. He shifted in his seat, turned a bit to the side. Secretive. He was facing away from Hank's desk & while the Lieutenant was away from it, it felt like he was being watched. ❝ It’s going to be brutal this weekend & my case load ran dry. So, instead of staying home with air conditioning & a cold case, why don’t we head north? ❞ North, of course, meaning to the woods. Connor had a deep need for the outdoors this week. He assumed it was from missing Will, who was an avid outdoorsman & totally self-sustaining. ❝ We haven't been camping since spring. What do you say, Mr. Graham? You, me, the dogs, a camp fire & the lake? ❞ A little fishing trip as a treat after a long trip, something both needed. A little time away from the city, from death & humanity. Just nature & the quiet of the woods.
maybe i can just get a tailored set because i hate how every like office ish shirt fits on me its all insane and awful i just want a couple of good button downs from a material with good weight. and a blazer and pants that also actually fit... my entire idea of professional attire comes from hannibal season 3 alana bloom wardrobe so im crazy now
theres better ones but theyre not even showing up.. i hate her wrap dresses tho
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Hello and welcome back to Untitled Tallgeese Podcast, a podcast where four old friends rewatch and discuss Gundam Wing. I am Cathy, your moderator for this episode, and I am joined as always, by Kat, Mallory, and Caitlin. If you have been following along, you know that this week's episode — Episode 27, Locus of Victory and Defeat and Episode 28, Passing Destinies — are recap episodes, following the unofficial Season Finale from last time. As mentioned previously, we will be spending the bulk of this episode discussing a topic near and dear to all of our hearts, Gundam Wing fanfic from the early 2000ish through the lens of one very special fic, Road Trip by Sunhawk. But first, there isn't a lot to talk about that's new in episodes 27 and 28, but I would be remiss if I didn't mention two bits of new information we got. First, that Relena has switched wardrobes, and is now in a Sanc Kingdom school uniform. And she no longer is informing Heero that he needs to come over here and kill her but rather to return to her, echoing Quatre's telepathic insight into Heero's Golden Aura from the end of Episode 26. And second, Treize is now being placed under house arrest by the Romefeller Foundation for his speech in front of Duke Dermail. At the end of Episode 28 we see that he's not alone in house arrest, but rather joined by a ghostly Lady Une still in her peaceful ambassador outfit, who joins Treize, as he looks at blueprints of yet another mysterious Gundam-like mobile suit on his laptop, which spoiler alert, is Epyon. I think, you know, these are interesting episodes. And Caitlin, I know you had something to say about the way the recaps are done in 27 and 28.
Yeah, I think that it's really interesting how they, I mean, that new information comes to us via these framing narratives, where you have Relena, and a little bit Heero, and then Treize narrating everything that's happened to them. So we get a Relena narration where she's much more strongly identifying herself as the ruler of the Sanc Kingdom. And then we get a Treize narration that links together a lot of his dubious political thought, in the midst of his defeat.
It felt like the first time we really understood like, exactly what Lady Une thought his politics were, or his plans were and how he changed those plans, like explicitly.
Yes, there was this moment where he reflects on the beauty of where he is trapped, which I believe is the Luxembourg base, but I don't know if they ever say that. And he articulates it as if to say, "this is what I wanted to preserve. This is what I joined OZ thinking it was to preserve," and then traces his change in thought, which I don't remember that ever coming through necessarily. What he thought he was doing originally before he became the Treize that we know.
Cathy, I did want to say that it felt like Treize was really reciting from your theory of anime from last episode when he talks about these "warriors with rebellious wings," and how their like purity of spirit completely changed his life.
Yes, I love it. I felt like [laughter]--
Yeah, I wrote, "Cathy! strong wills, what purity! theory of anime!" in my notes. So there you go.
Now we have to address the possibility that Cathy is Treize. Treize was God, he was Hannibal, and now he's Cathy.
It does, I think, speak to why I've always found Treize a really fascinating character, even if I think he is a huge asshole, and none of his ideas make any sense. But you know, I am always drawn to this idea of people who, and I think I phrased it as "get sucked into other people's deranged orbits?" and Treize is both a person who creates a deranged orbit around himself [laughter] and also gets sucked into the orbit of the Gundam pilots, so I do love that about him.
Interesting. That explains a lot about you, but also makes me understand Treize a little bit better framing him that way.
I know you're sick of her but I did like that Une finally figured out the soul of OZ, that the purpose of battles isn't limited to making ideals into reality.
Since you brought it up... why does Treize refer to her as like, my love? Or beloved? He says, "Lady Une, my love, rest in peace." So is the show trying to make me believe that Treize has feelings for Lady Une?
Is it just awkward writing?
I think it's just awkward writing but also kind of that. I think the dub at least -- and I only listened to the dub this time -- decided that Treize was in love with her and is going with that.
Both of these episodes felt very much like, "Hey, remember this heterosexual pairing?"
Yes! And I remember one time we talked about whether or not this show actually ships heterosexual pairings or just, they thought they were but they're just so horrible at writing heterosexual romances [laughter] that everything comes off really strange and this is definitely an example of that. Like, I could see both sides of this, that we are supposed to believe that Treize had romantic feelings for Lady Une and then it just was written so poorly because nobody on the show has met a real woman before. [laughter] Or, and I guess this would be my interpretation, it isn't that he is like romantically interested in her or was in love with her. But she was very important to him and represented, you know, one of the people that I think he wielded the biggest influences on and that touches him deeply. And her quote unquote, fate being that she is, quote unquote, dead at the end of Episode 26 weighs heavily on him.
But she's not dead. [laughing] Why does he say it? I know that in the episode, it's meant to be a fake out like, Oh, we know, we saw Lady Une die. And then Treize is talking to her as though she's dead so it's really not until the very end of episode 28 that we get the reveal that she's alive. It doesn't make a lot of sense.
So let's address fake outs because there are characters talking in episodes 27 and 28, and I'm not sure if we are supposed to believe that they're talking at the time of the flashback footage being shown to us, or afterwards, right now, in the world of Episode 28.
I think Relena's was the only narration that actually seems like 100% anchored to what we were looking at. So... like Treize definitely we hear his earlier thoughts at the beginning and then he explains how they've changed, but with Heero it's just sort of like A, and then B.
Right, when Heero in Episode 27 says, "I don't consider the other Gundam pilots my comrades, I've never had comrades from the start," I have no idea if this narration is trying to tell me that Heero at this point in time currently, after Episode 26, does not believe the Gundam pilots are his friends. Or if he's referring to how he felt back then.
I under-understood that as definitely he's talking about that point in the flashback.
It is kind of thrown out there. And it seems like by now he would have had so much interaction with these guys, especially at least with Trowa, that it would be kind of wild for him to say that [laughing]
He considers Trowa his comrade boyfriend, y'know? [cat meows in background]
It was making me laugh because we've been reading this fic, this road trip arc. And it's kind of incredible how much this arc -- and we'll talk about this -- how much this arc and formed my idea of what the Gundam pilots' relationships were or like, their, their relationship dynamics or that they /had/ relationships with each other. So when I read all these fic, I was thinking like, "Wow, I didn't see any of this coordination in the show. Like there are no safe houses in the episodes that I watched. Oh, that like, it's okay, that must have come later." And now I'm later in the series, [laughing] and I'm finding out that actually, they interact very tangentially for the most part, where I was imagining a lot more camaraderie as the episodes progressed.
I know in Episode Zero, you were really distraught to learn that it's not like, "let's all five meet up and team up!" ...
...kind of anime
I mean, I'm really enjoying where it's going now. And I enjoy the sort of bits of relationships that we're getting and the ways that their personalities bounce off each other. And that's what makes, that's what makes Gundam Wing such a rich field to mine for fic, because you get all of these like, glimpses of what these characters could be to each other, within the canon of the show. And it's really easy for writers like Sunhawk to kind of just like, take them and run.
Yes, so let's talk about Road Trip by Sunhawk. Road Trip is part of a larger, 17 part series called the Road Trip Arc by its fans. We are going to be talking mostly about just the first installment -- which is actually barely shippy. Like there are hints of the relationship that will come to be especially the 1x2 part of it. And the rest of the series is very staunchly 1x2 with background 3x4, question mark with Wufei, which I'd really love to talk about later. But at least in the first part, it's kind of more of a, I don't know if action story is the right word... You know, it starts at some unspecified time in the canon. Heero and Duo are escaping a mission that is kind of going south. They land on earth, on a beach. Heero is badly injured, Duo is you know, kind of beat up but is still mostly functional. You know, he's not internally bleeding and concussed, which is what Heero is. So he's forced to drive them to safety, and eventually to a rendezvous point where the idea is that Quatre and the others will pick them up. But when they get there OZ is basically hot on their heels. So Duo is able to leave Heero, basically in secluded cover, but he has to redirect OZ's attention, which gets him into more trouble. And he almost essentially drowns. So exhausted, pummeled within an inch of his life, he limps his way back to a safe house, again, unspecified location, or why he knows that that thing is there, but whatever, where all the rest of the pilots are staying at. So that's Quatre, Trowa, and Wufei. Heero's already in the hospital, you know, Duo basically passes out. He's given immediate medical attention, including drugs that cause him to lash out and nearly kill everybody around him. But finally, Heero, near death himself, manages to sneak out of his hotel--hospital room to sit by Duo's side, which calms Duo down and the fic ends with them having this really cute exchange about Duo's IVs. So I did want to talk about the landscape of fanfic reading at this time, before we really dive deep into Road Trip itself. Do you guys have any memories, you know, or impressions of what it was like at the time when you first started reading Gundam Wing fanfic?
I remember that... I'm pretty sure I read this fic on a site that had either an all black background with white text; a sepia tinted background, that was like, you know, like a light, brownish, and then like a sort of off gray text. Because back in 2000, the only HTML any of us knew was how to change background color and how to change font color. You could put one image... They had gifs back then. And I don't, that's probably why my eyes are bad now. [laughter]
Yeah, it was either like very weirdly colored websites or really, really intensely over-styled websites, where it like, it's a little pop up and it's butterfly-shaped.
Yeah. And there's like glitter and sparkles when you move your mouse and stuff. I didn't have fast like, I didn't get DSL until really late, like I was a senior in high school. So all of these websites just like crashed our internet constantly. [laughing] It was, it was hard for me to read those kinds of archives and stuff.
The point here is that these fics were hosted on like, a bunch of different sites. And it was just small, privately run, I guess you could say archives, like it's like it's one person who wants to save all the Gundam Wing fic in the world. Which is actually why we have Road Trip preserved on AO3, Archive of Our Own, which is that it's part of the Open Doors Project where a archivist by the name of Dacia used to run a site called A Little Piece of Gundam Wing, she was really into Duo. She read pretty much every Duo pairing if I recall correctly, like she was really into like all Duo pairings and she started collecting fic from various places where like, she-she wanted to curate like the best fic in her mind. So she would like ask authors, "Oh, can I host this on my site too?" after finding the fic other places and so she collected a bunch of, a bunch of fic. And as probably a lot of us know, Archive of Our Own, which is run by the Organization for Transformative Works, has a program called Open Doors where they will import archives that are closing, fanfiction archives that are closing, or that the maintainers just don't want to maintain anymore. So they maintain, they import them wholesale from the original archive and put them on Archive of Our Own.
It's pretty great because there are tons of fic from that time period that I wish I could remember or find or go back and to be able to like even search stuff on AO3 that was on those is great.
So we've talked about this before, but that's where Gundam Wing Addiction is actually pretty funny because they did rescue some of these sites. You know, we talked about the Izumi Fountain District with Alexe Cinz stuff last time, but they also rescued, I want to say it's Lev or Levwolf or something like that?
The-the Leviathan's Lair. There we go.
Ooh, I remember this site. Wow--
Looking at this site is like getting slapped in the face.
Yeah, I definitely read a lot of fic on A Little Piece of Gundam Wing, which I remember had a lot of text that was like accent text in orange [laughter]. And one of my favorite authors. well, they were an author pair, TB and Marsh, they were hosted on A Little Piece of Gundam Wing, that's where I first discovered them. But same thing with Sunhawk, who wrote two really famous series you know, Road Trip is the first one -- and in my memory, the more famous one although I think some people might say it's the Ion Arc, which I really don't remember anymore.
No, like reading Road Trip -- it's sort of like if I didn't read Road Trip, I read a bunch of fics like it, but the Ion Arc doesn't really ring a bell.
Ok, yeah. So it was also the one that was easiest to talk about because the first part of Ion isn't really meaty enough, I think to talk about whereas Road Trip, the first installment is almost perfectly self-encompassing of a lot of stuff. In terms of dates, you know, I cannot find a definitive date of when Sunhawk first wrote and posted Road Trip, the first archive I could find that was still crawled by Web Archive, thank you Web Archive, was from November 2001 on Steelsong, who was another moderator of a large network of websites, a lot of which were Gundam Wing websites and specifically had their own Gundam Wing fanfic archive. By the time that Steelsong had put Sunhawk on their site, which was some time around November 2001, Sunhawk had already written much of Road Trip, she had already written the first six installments, which is a lot of fic. And at that time, at least in 2001, 2002, Sunhawk was writing Road Trip concurrently with Ion. My suspicion is that Sunhawk probably first wrote this on a mailing list, you know, the 1x2 mailing list was a really popular one at the time, and so maybe it was that she first started there and then later got into the archives. But this would mean that Sunhawk probably started writing Gundam Wing fic right after Gundam Wing's run on Toonami in 2000. So another thing I did want to point out is that we are really lucky now that Gundam Wing is available on streaming on Hulu, that there's all these wiki sites that we could basically find all the information we would want. It's possible that Sunhawk did not actually have a way to fact check anything that she was writing at the time. And so you know, one thing I did want to talk about with the fic was this indeterminate canon timeline issue, I don't know when in the series, this was supposed to happen. You know, Deathscythe is called Deathscythe. Much later in the series, Wufei's Gundam is referred to as Altron, which is his second Gundam. But we don't ever get this kidnapping phase that happens in the fic. So I don't know. But then again, I realized when I was Sunawk in 2001, how was she supposed to have checked that? Right?
I think also, nobody gave a shit back then. [laughs]
Yeah. Like, it's also sort of like, did it really matter to your enjoyment? Like, you have all the elements of the Gundam Wing pilots and them interacting and the shipping, and like, it doesn't really matter what canon we're supposed to be in because we're already out of, outside of canon.
I feel like there were only like two timelines for fic and it was basically like pre-Endless Waltz and then post-Endless Waltz. I never really felt like, even though there's definitely a definitive plot split between, like, from all the episodes we've seen, and all the episodes we're about to see, I never really felt like fic did.
It's, it's sort of an interesting question in like Film Studies, where, you know, up until VHS, there was no way to really rewatch a movie that you were writing about. So a lot of film criticism and film theory was written by people who had only like, watched the movie once. So there's, it's kind of like a pathology we have nowadays that we can rewatch everything over and over again, so we can get this sort of like perfect timeline, this perfect like, sense of a film. Whereas in the past, like nobody ever watched anything like that. And there are, there are some film theorists nowadays who's still argue for that as like the true model of cinema, though obviously, that's much less prominent now. That, that gets into my whole idea of fanfic as a form of like interpretation, like fanfic is like a type of criticism of the original series.
Yeah, absolutely. And the thing that people wanted more of in Gundam Wing was gay shit and safe houses.
Mallory & Caitlin 19:08
And it's and it's easy to just like put that in. Like reading Road Trip, I wasn't thinking too much about like, where does this fit in the timeline because who cares?
This is a first person POV fic, which in my mind now is pretty rare for big fanfics to be first person POV. But you, Mallory, had noted how much this voice sounded like the dub Duo voice.
Yeah, she has gotten Duo's voice down. [laughs] I think it's just the slang that she kind of throws in there, the sort of casual way that Duo thinks and speaks feels very "of the show." Like I hear Scott McNeil's voice in my head [laughs] reading her fic is how good I think it is. Like there's like a cheesy earnestness in the dialogue of both the show and the fic that I think like works really well and is like really charming.
And I think that, so I think Duo's voice is very well established and it is at least, I only read the first two parts, but in the second part which is Heero's first person point of view, Duo's dialogue lines are also very strongly Scott McNeil-esque, I felt. I think Heero's voice is a little bit less distinct. One of my struggles with these fics was like, does this read as Heero to me? Like I really wasn't sure. And I'll say with regards to the first person point of view, maybe this gets us on to a different topic, but there are so many things about this fic where if I opened a fic like this now in 2020, I would hit I would hit the back button so hard.
No, I want to talk about this, this is a great topic. I love this.
So I would never read something with this much violence. I'd always be like, what I don't want to read that, I don't want to read Duo getting beaten up or tortured, or whatever.
Mallory & Kat 21:00
I know! I like, I don't, I don't read that sort of fic these days. Like I don't read whump, the ancient genre of whump. [laughs]
Oh, whump I guess is like a ancient genre but an everlasting genre to me.
Cathy, when you were trying to classify this fic, I was thinking, "this is definitely whump, pre-slash."
Mallory & Caitlin & Cathy 21:21
Yes, yes. Yes.
At least part one is pre-slash.
And I would never read something like that these days... Like if it was, it was tagged pre-slash, rated M, and I be like, "but how can it be rated M if they don't have sex?" I'd be like, "no, there's got to be some other reason for this to be rated M, I can't handle it. I need to go back." Like I would hit the back button so hard. And I'd be wrong because this fic is really good.
It definitely feels from, from an older time~
Yes, I agree. And I second everything Caitlin said. This fic was surprisingly readable and I know that sounds like a backhanded compliment but what I mean is, I didn't expect it to still sound as good and like something I would see someone write now, but it is. It's still really good, you know the voices are really good, the dialogue are really, is really good. But everything about it screams back button. Like I hated Quatre and Trowa even in this fic. [laughing]
Oh my god, oh my god [laughter]
[laughter] Even though they do nothing, I hated them. Outside of Gundam Wing I did not ever read whump or hurt/comfort fic, you know, this was just not a genre that I was ever interested in. In Gundam Wing it was almost unavoidable?
I was gonna say there's no way [crosstalk]
because of the plot [crosstalk] So you kind of had to--
especially if you like Duo--
Especially if you liked Duo! And then of course all of the little fandom tropes that kill me now about the fic might actually have not yet been as deeply entrenched in fanon at the time she was writing as they are now but--
Certainly now when I read it, I'm like, well, there's the safe house.
Yeah, it's like a checklist almost. Like oh, there's that mention of Duo's hair smelling like sandalwood,
It was always sandalwood and it was always Duo. Duo's hair always smelled like sandalwood..
I mean it might be this fic though, like this is The the fic, the landscape of fic reading and stuff, there was just less of it and like the people who are into it are like really spending time to find it and stuff. We're talking about different archives, I read like everything on 1x2x1--
Uh wing-- Shinigami and Wing like and so I think it was like, fanon still coalesces pretty fast now but I think because there's less access to source material too it's like so much easier for it to grow like this, just sort of permeate the entire fandom, not just one pairing.
Yeah, I mean like Kat you were saying earlier you may not have read this particular fic but you have definitely read 10 or 15 other ones that are very similar to it in terms of what you can expect from the action and the characters and the pairings.
Duo is gonna get hurt. Heero is gonna be angry over something that he doesn't need to be angry about. Trowa is gonna to be a calm head, Quatre's the kind heart. Wufei I like in this because he's like the friend, the bro, instead of the standoffish fifth guy.
so that's nice--
Yeah. Wufei good in this but he has a better like,
He has more rapport with Duo than Heero does [laughter]
Yes. I was going to say--
I'm sure we were all in on this but I was side shipping Duo and Wufei a lot. Wufei gave him a bath!
Mallory & Kat 24:38
Wufei gets him!
Do you guys, can I spoil something about the rest of the Road Trip arc?
Mallory & Kat 24:44
So I okay. And I will first give readers this warning, if you do want to read the rest of the installments of Road Trip, there are warnings on AO3 but I must add that there is a significant part of Duo's backstory that deals with rape and trauma and especially rape of Duo when he was very under age so--
This also something that would be auto back button for me.
Yeah so I have to I have to put in that disclaimer because I don't want people wandering into the rest of the story. Road Trip the first installment is fine but the rest of the story this is, this is a big part of his character so please don't read it if it is triggering. But one thing about Wufei is you find out later he actually has a BIG honkin' crush on Duo and he is almost always--
I must have read this.
He is almost always there basically like helping like pick Duo up and like--
no [crosstalk] this is too sad!
Supplements this like emotional stuff that like Heero doesn't get because Heero has a bad problem
in Road Trip of like treating Duo as like too fragile which pisses Duo off
That was a common dynamic.
He comes to this like realization that he's like really in love with Duo but then he has to shelve it because he realizes that Duo and Heero are soulmates? And so he like, he says he'll be a friend forever and he gives like do this plush dragon. And then the whole thing is it's set up to be eventually a Wufei and Sally Po story? But the very last installment -- that is part 16 of the 16 part series -- is essentially a story where Duo has an anxiety freak out while Heero's away. He calls Wufei over to his apartment, they spend a night together completely platonically. Duo realizes that Wufei is like eaten up inside by something that Wufei won't tell Duo about. And it's like this crush, which all of us know because we all read the part with the Wufei point of view, but like Duo didn't get the memo.
Oh my god?
I picked up on this and I only read one chapter.
I can't handle this.
So he's not sure what's happening. And that at the very end, you know, Wu Fei is like basically telling Duo that he doesn't want to start dating Sally Po because he's afraid of like, basically something that like, and he phrases it in a way that makes Duo think he's talking about his former dead wife, but it's actually about Duo. [crosstalk: No!] And Duo says to him, you have to let the past go. And so then Wufei does and call Sally up for a date.
Okay, that plush dragon thing just lit up eight synapses.
I hate this.
I have read this fic, 100%.
It's possible that this is why I got into 2x5.
So I just had to add this here because like, I truly felt the same way. Like I shipped Wufei and Duo was so hard and the more Heero like became this like, super protective like... I like this story, but I don't buy it as Heero characterization. Like I don't think Heero was very convincing. But I do find Duo and Wufei very convincing in the series. [laughs]
I think this is a big problem with a lot of Heero fanon characterization at the time, though, because like the logical conclusion of the fanon characterization of Heero is just a huge asshole nobody wants to date. [laughs] When the Toonami series aired, it was like a ton of 1x2. That was it. It was like 1x2, 3x4 blah, blah but I think as fanon crystallized like pairing diversity also increased.
Yeah, the thing is that I'm fine reading fanfic between assholes that nobody would want to date. That is, tends to be the type of fanfic that I read anyway.
Look, I get that.
So Heero being terrible is fine. The problem is that this fic characterizes him as less terrible than he seems to actually be?
Like, I don't think Heero is this, I don't think he's this protective. I don't think he's this in tune with his feelings. Part Two, really, like, as some of you might know, I never read established relationship fic, so I wasn't going to continue past Part Two anyway. Even though they have a lot of problems, I'm just like, all right, they already confessed their feelings. I'm not interested anymore. But I just found it really hard to believe that Heero would be able to confess his feelings or even like, recognize love, emotions, or romance that early on.
It's the combined problem of he's an asshole who no one would want a date and the fic is still trying to convince me that him and Duo are like really great together in general. So I wrote a lot of Gundam Wing fic in middle school, so I consumed so much of it on [laughing] fanfiction.net and the characterization ended up getting really, really far removed even further removed than this fic from the actual show, I guess.
So one thing I did want to point out, it's less obvious in Part One, but becomes increasingly obvious as you move through this arc is the total lack or mention of Relena Peacecraft. And, and I mean it, she is not mentioned once in this entire fic, which is odd because it goes from middle of the canon through until the post-Endless Waltz and then [laughter] seven to eight years, and seven to eight years after--
the end of Endless Waltz, which, and again at by the end of this fic series, spoilers, Duo, Wufei, and Heero all work for the Preventers. So it seems very [laughter] weird that none of them would interact with Relena. So like I did--
It seems like they would run into Relena sometime [laughter].
I did want to open the floor to talk about Relena Peacecraft and her place in Gundam Wing fanfic.
Well, so either you're a het shipper so you're, you're, you're doing fine, your Heero is probably very different. [laughter]
Wait, let's let's be clear that there were a lot of het shippers
And they still are there. There was a lot of het shipping in the Japanese fandom too. I think Heero and Relena were popular.
Duo and Hilde.
And the official media that came out was like, oh Duo and Hilde. And, oh Heero and Relena.
Relena and fanfiction so you're a het -- you could be a het shipper, so then she's in it a lot.
Or you hate her and she's a monster and she's the the thing standing between Heero and Duo falling in love or being together, which I feel like I read a lot of.
She could be shipping them but that was way more rare I thought and then like just not having her around.
So like, from the perspective of the contemporary moment, it looks bad to just not write Relena at all in your 300,000 word fic about characters who talk to Relena all the time. Like it seems bad
but she was so controversial that I could see like I can see the logic of just not including her.
And as a reader I, I often preferred that she just kind of not be there be like very peripheral over... like I think at the beginning I really enjoyed the like Relena hating because there's just very viscerally satisfying, but later on, I was like, hmmm.
The other option is like, write a explainer about why your Heero in your fic doesn't love Relena, he only loves Duo. It just becomes, like, tedious to write that every single fic.
One thing that I was digging up was a lot of Relena hate sites. And one thing we had talked about in past episodes was kind of like hating her because she was this rich girl, she had this entourage, we couldn't really relate to her. And there was a lot of that in why people expressed why they hated Relena. Like she was spoiled. She had everything. She was obsessed with Heero and so she definitely like wanted him as one of her belongings kind of thing? So I think it is one of those moments where now that I've read a lot more other types of Gundam Wing fanfic that I wasn't reading at that time that have, I think, much more interesting Relena characterization, and much more I think realistic ideas about what Heero and Relena's relationship would be like. I think, "God I was so stupid!" but I feel that same way about like everything I was into, right? [laughs] So like, it is kind of humbling and also funny.
Like reading this fic it's about as comforting as like finding your favorite High School sweater, you know, in the back of your closet when you're visiting home and putting it on and finding out it still fits. And it's because it sort of hits all of those familiar tropes that I remember reading, like the use of "Gods" is like--
punch in the face.
Why does everyone say gods?
Okay, and I don't remember, like I remember this being a thing in Gundam Wing fic I don't remember why--
[crosstalk] Duo was American and was raised in a—
Catholic. Why would he say Gods?
[crosstalk] Yeah Duo would never.
I kind of get maybe the idea of why others would do it if this became like a post colony thing but certainly not Duo.
In like middle school. I was always wondering like, "oh, what kind of weird event happened in the future that made everybody until like a polytheist?" [laughter] Like, what kind of world building is this?
Yeah, I thought that there had to be like a reason or is there a rule?
I kind of thought that just like the people writing fanfic at the time tended to be like pagans. Like, like, that was fine. And they and they were pushing their pagan agenda by having everybody say gods.
No, I, I, 100. That's 100% my theory.
that's what I think it is.
So I mean, Sunhawk was one of the older writers at the time, but I think a lot of the people who were archivists and writers at the time were older, she was probably at least I want to say in her 30s. They're usually older, some of them are Wiccan or pagan and a lot of them were very interested in like education and sort of like bringing up the younger members of the fandom. So Sunhawk specifically, like had a personality who was like very educational? I'm not saying that that's why she did particularly this "Gods" thing, but I do think that that was like part of the general dismantling of monotheistic--
Yeah. So the last thing I want to talk about in terms of this fanfic is all the five pilots working together, coordinating pickup and rescue missions.
Rendezvous points? How are they in contact with each other?
And they all appear to have like similar missions? Like, it seems like Heero and Duo were on this mission together instead of what we see in the show, which is that they don't...? Again, I think I just love this idealistic view of the Gundam pilots where they're all not just friends, but also comrades in arms.
Yeah, I mean, this makes more sense than what the show does, which is that on the show, it's always, oh, they just happen to run into each other on the same mission. And they're like, oh, who are you? Why do you have the same Gundam as me? [laughter]
We shouldn't be fighting.
But Quatre's the only one who says that everybody else is like, let's blow each other up.
We joke a lot about how this podcast is basically us questioning the internal logic of Gundam Wing, like why would anybody do this thing where they just sent five teenagers without any knowledge that there are four other of them and just be like, here you go.
Complete a vague unspecified mission.
I feel like fanfiction really made them way more competent. Like there's literally that whole scene where the doctors are like, "You guys fucking suck. You're not the perfect soldiers at all." [laughter]
"You don't know anything."
And then in fics it's like Heero's like, "I'm the perfect soldier. I know everything!
"I must be the perfect soldier."
Oh, yeah. Like they all seem to be much better fighters than they are in canon.
I feel like in canon Wufei is the only one who does his job. And in fanfic, it seemed like they were all doing jobs.
Trowa's maybe just doing his own thing.
But he's doing A Job.
Yeah, clowning. Trowa's job is clowning!
Everybody got way more trauma than Quatre did in fic even though the show is like here's Quatre's biggest trauma.
You know, that's very true.
Which didn't even show up in the clip show.
Yeah, it also doesn't really make sense that Quatre's always this really sane one in fanfic when he's the main one we've seen in canon go apeshit.
Reading this fic and then watching the clip show, I was like, damn, like Wufei/Treize/Zechs was like it's, a whole ass universe. And it's just like, one scene in the first 27 episodes. [laughter] But what a scene.
Such a good one.
I think that it's important to note that Sunhawk passed away last year, and so we could consider this episode our very weird tribute to her.
Yes, in 2019 in March, there was a post on Sunhawk's LiveJournal, by her daughter, who had become in Sunhawk's words, essentially somewhat of a fandom secretary for Sunhawk, noting that if you are reading this entry, now, it means that she had passed away, she had been diagnosed with cancer, like in 2015, she said four and a half years ago from the time of the writing of the entry. So Sunhawk, beginning in 2007, did a tradition where every year for the 12 days leading up to Christmas, she would post the ficlet, or fanart inspired by her fics, usually 1x2 related usually an excerpt from or like a special scene or bonus scene from one of her stories about Duo and Heero. And she continued that tradition even up until 2019.
So prior to that she had actually queued up 12 Days of Christmas for 2019, which her daughter posted. And the very last story actually was a coda for the Ion arc, which was left unfinished and her daughter finished it for her. And if you had the chance, and of course, we'll link to this, I really highly recommend you read the goodbye post from Sunhawk.
It's, wait, it's really good. Can I read just a little bit of this?
Before I shuffle on off, though, I would be remiss if I didn't address the fandom that I have called home for almost two decades. To everyone, thank you, I realized that we aren't as large as we used to be that the heyday is over. But I've enjoyed being here and writing for you all. And there is one thing that I've learned through all of my years, and all of my time with the fandom that I want to share that I think applies not just to our little corner of the internet, but all fandom. Write it, draw it, sing it, create it, share it. We all start somewhere. We all start with works that are horribly out of character. We write tropes that have been written up million times before. We all stare at blank canvases unable to get the lines down in a way that we want. And we all scrap ideas that we feel just aren't good enough. But a fandom lives because of the people who produce for it. And by those who come to read and view. Yes, maybe that 500 word drabble in which two strapping young men are trapped in a remote cabin during some horrible weather event and there is only one bed, isn't your best work. But what about the work after that, or the one that follows? With each creation you learn, you polish yourself, you grow. Never stop yourself from growing. Never let others stop you from growing. Share the stories you have in you. Post your heart -- Post your art, because at the end of the day life is too damn short to spend not doing something you love to do. To all of the Gundam Wing fandom and all of my friends, I want to again say thank you, reading my work supporting me talking with me, you've made my stay here a pleasant one.
I find it really heartwarming. And one thing that I did for this episode is I went back and I read some of Sunhawk's first LiveJournal posts in 2002, when she started her LiveJournal, and even in the comments to people who were, I don't think close friends of hers, you know, just fans, she was always extremely, you know, encouraging and welcoming, and always told her fans that they should just write, you know, even if they felt like whatever they did wasn't perfect or wasn't in their words going to match up to what she did. She always told them just write it. Coming to Sunhawk and realizing that she'd spent two decades in a fandom that I think a lot of us considered dead and she was still cranking out work there and like encouraging people and being loving in that fandom, it just is it's like everything that one hopes one span that experience will be like and how they'll be remembered when they leave. Well, I want to thank you guys for joining me on this episode where we talk about, you know, Sunhawk and fanfic and being really young and on the internet with dial up. I really, you know, appreciate all of your memories, which are also my memories. And together, we'll keep Sunhawk's spirit alive. Write it, draw it, sing it, create it and share it. Thank you very much and see you in two weeks.
i was a girl. should i be dead? / mischa l. thread.
i was a girl. should i be dead? / mischa l. answer.
i was a girl. should i be dead? / mischa l. about.
i was a girl. should i be dead? / mischa l. aesthetic.
i was a girl. should i be dead? / mischa l. character study.
i was a girl. should i be dead? / mischa l. desires.
i was a girl. should i be dead? / mischa l. face.
i was a girl. should i be dead? / mischa l. headcanon.
i was a girl. should i be dead? / mischa l. lookalike.
i was a girl. should i be dead? / mischa l. music.
i was a girl. should i be dead? / mischa l. musings.
i was a girl. should i be dead? / mischa l. plotting call.
i was a girl. should i be dead? / mischa l. starter call.
i was a girl. should i be dead? / mischa l. wardrobe.
i was a girl. should i be dead? / mischa l. verse one: buried blood. ——— AU where Mischa survives instead of Hannibal. Instead of committing cannibalism (except for revenge for her brother, as in Rising), Mischa goes on to live an honest life as an architect. Main verse.
i was a girl. should i be dead? / mischa l. verse two: rising red. ——— AU where Mischa survives instead of Hannibal. Commits cannibal as Hannibal canonically does; similar path, but may diverge in places.
i was a girl. should i be dead? / mischa l. verse three: shared hunger. ——— AU where both siblings survive. Both are cannibals; open to whether both are caught or not.
mischa & hannibal lecter.
mischa & count lecter.
mischa & simonetta lecter.
mischa & robert lecter.
mischa & lady murasaki.
' 𝙸𝙼𝙰𝙶𝙸𝙽𝙴 𝚆𝙷𝙰𝚃 𝚈𝙾𝚄 𝙼𝚄𝚂𝚃 𝚃𝙰𝚂𝚃𝙴 𝙻𝙸𝙺𝙴. 𝙸𝚃 𝚆𝙾𝙽'𝚃 𝙱𝙴 𝙻𝙾𝙽𝙶 𝚄𝙽𝚃𝙸𝙻 𝚂𝙾𝙼𝙴𝙾𝙽𝙴'𝚂 𝚃𝙰𝙺𝙸𝙽𝙶 𝙰 𝙱𝙸𝚃𝙴 𝙾𝚄𝚃 𝙾𝙵 𝚈𝙾𝚄.' / @bobgray
whenever it spoke, the candles of hannibal’s memory palace were suddenly blown out. the familiar rooms he had built to store all of the beauty and horror became pitch black. it was not fear that which surrounded him, but an unwelcome sense of disorientation. dr. lecter’s control was stolen from him; snatched right out of his plate by that bizarre and greedy mouth. 𝙸𝚃 𝚆𝙰𝚂 𝚁𝚄𝙳𝙴 . shockingly so. and the good doctor wasn’t sure whether he was more curious than bothered by this sudden darkness. the glass in his hand, however, was still real, that hannibal was sure of. and when he brought the port wine to touch his lips, the distant metallic flavour of something that shouldn’t be there comforted him. made his seat more comfortable. his unexpected guest more APPETISING.
“ if you eat god , there’s always plenty left . ” a ghost of a smile touched his features then. that citation had not made it clear which god he spoke of ; was it the creature before him which was infinite or him ( takes one to know one ) ? either way, the doctor glanced down at his glass, appreciating the bright red colour of his drink. it matched the monster’s wardrobe. why was it that, this ghost which haunted him, was alien to his aesthetics ? ——— he had tried to fit into the jigsaw before, disguised himself with the skin of something feverish, but had still managed to stand out. even when taking the pattern of the other puzzle pieces, IT always oozed with pus and rot. hannibal felt mocked by the phantom ——— and that was simply UNBEARABLE.
“ have you given any thought to my taste ? ”