Im not saying sorry this time…

ive said it enough.

Originally posted by slow-dancing-with-my-demons

your sweatshirt fits me better than it fits you anyway

- you don’t need it back (I’m still holding on)

All I can seem to be now is angry. If there is no anger, no fury, nothing I can scream into then the heartache takes over. I can feel the pain all over again.

If I continue to be angry, maybe it’ll hurt a little less.

I would do anything to feel something other than this. I would shred my skin open with a razor and watch the red pulsing river in me become a lake atop my skin. I would take any pill you handed me, coat my nose in sugar, fill my veins with anything to take this feeling away.

I’m so tired. I can’t be strong anymore. Maybe I can, but I don’t want to. I don’t want to keep going. I want to lie down and never have to get up. I want to close my eyes and escape away into the afterlife and be done with this life for good.

I’m trapped in this hell. Crucified by my mistakes, my past, what I’ve done pins me down and refuses to release me. It hurts so much. It burns. I beg for relief, anything to ease this pain, and all I receive is a single drop of water onto my tongue before the suffering beings again.

Is it ever going to end?

I’m so tired. I don’t know if I can keep going. I don’t want to leave them behind, but if I did, they would move on, right? They would be okay eventually? They would finally see a world without the burden of me in it anymore. Aren’t I doing them a favor if I’m not here anymore?

I don’t understand why I’m here. I used to save people, care for them, bring joy to their lives, if I am no longer called to this what could I possibly do that would be better or even the same?

I don’t understand.

Please, help me. I’m scared. I’m burning, running, scalding, racing, hurting. Please. I want to be done, I want to be gone from this earth and free from this pain. I’m so tired. Please, why can’t I help me?

10.07.20 | 00:17

Crying about it is not enough, writing about it is not enough, talking about it is not enough… All this sadness has gotten so close, it has surrounded me complitely. I can’t get rid of it, I just have to feel it. I’m tired. I’m always so tired but the sadness doesn’t care. It doesn’t matter how tired I am, I will still keep feeling sad. I’m tired, I’m sad, I’m lonely, I’m lost… but it doesn’t matter how many times I say that, it doesn’t change anything. I can’t do anything to help myself. I can only keep living and hoping to be okay one day.

Am I a bad person?

#witch #witchesofinstagram #witchythings #tarot #tarotcards #tarotreading #pain #heartache 3 of swords represents a new raw pain. You are deeply hurt. You need to take time for yourself to heal
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blog post #7

my heart is in conflict

an old flame was never put out

I’ve been trying to avoid

what you’re meaning to say

I couldn’t believe

that these words are in play

and I struggle and fight

with myself on the fence

only to break

our silent intents

unavoidable now

but we still need to face

the crumbling walls

we once built in this place

the love we established

has gone out of sync

as we try to hold on

to reasons that shrink

and it’s harder to keep

going on in this way

than to venture apart

and call it a day

so I hope that you find

a better person than me

who can one day become

what I just couldn’t be

.

Lost love hurts.

Lost friendship hurts harder

The vulnerability of caring for someone is absolutely terrifying. I’m just now realizing how much I don’t like it, and also that I’ve somehow managed to become so numb that I no longer am bothered if they come and go from my life because that’s just what people do.

Everything I’ve done lead me up to this moment in life. And I’m not sure if it’s good or bad.

Originally posted by fearless-man

“ I don’t need no shoulders. I’m good crying by myself.”

- From the song “Faking it” by Calvin Harris ft Kehlani

I really be wondering if someone really gone come love my ugly ass one day

It’s so hard to keep living for a future some days i can’t even see.

Thoughts — Sasha Sloan

You’re drowning in an ocean of dark blue pain, and

My hand is slipping from around your wrist as you drift

Down

Down

Down.

I love you too much,

Too hard, and

Too fiercely

To let go of you,

But you let go of me.

And I’m desperately holding on, but

My Love,

The one who holds me when I cry myself to sleep as my heart breaks for you,

Has his arms around my waist,

Keeping me from falling into the deep dark abyss after you.

And it kills me that one day,

My arm will break,

And you’ll fall alone,

While I cry in the arms of My Love.

K.C.