I don't forget like an elephant

It's imprinted on my heart ♥️

It’s burning… still burning 🔥

🎵🎶

Come across an old YM convo 3/28/10 and photos of our first meet up after a year of ldr and my heart ache just full of regrets. Those days was full of love and promises.

Dear diary... (Trigger warning)

I'm having a "you should have died last night but you failed again, and now you're still here" crisis right now.

“I hurt someone I wanted to love. And that is my life story.”

In the end, this was not a love story. Just a story about love.

i don't want to lose you but i can't keep you where you were, either. i care about you too much to say how much i feel for you when I know that would put whatever we are at risk. you said to not wait for you because you don't know when you'll be able to take on a real relationship, if you ever will be. you said if i find someone who cares for me and wants that future we talked about together that i shouldn't hold back in hopes you'll actually feel that way eventually since there is no guarantee for "us". i understand what you said. i will not push you to take a stance. i will not voice my questions that i know have honest answers i cannot handle. i will go against my nature and be complacent in my un-comfortability simply because that is the only space i have where you will continue to exist. you say you are happy with what we have. you are. i say I am happy too. i am not. our only solidified pact of 100% honesty has been broken. i do not know who broke it first. was it you? when you said distance was the only barricade in our relationship? when you spoke of a future you knew you didn't want to see through with me? when you held me at night in a shaded motel room so no one would know we were together? when you kissed me in the middle of my video game rambling and called me beautiful? was it me? when i said i was okay with the joking names of boyfriend and girlfriend? when i played with your hair in the same bed you held me in, lying to myself that that moment could become a normal routine? when you explained to me you did not see or want us in the same way i see and want us and i told you to your face i was on the same exact page as you when I wasnt? I'm still not. I'm not. i don't want to meet someone local and fall in love and have the future we talked about together with his imaginary stranger. i don't want to stop messaging you at work, showing you tv shows, you teaching me about sports you like, meeting your friends, hearing your voice, saying your name, you saying mine, remembering your touch on my face in the car at the red lights that were on my side since you kissed me at every one of them. i don't want the boundaries. i don't want the distance. the distrust in loyalty. i want you. and i can't have you how i want you, so i desperately take you as you offer. half-hearted and halfway out the door. if you leave - or, i guess after last night, when you leave - the door will close. I'll enjoy my seat in the ranch we built, with a dog you named, and pray you pass by the window as you walk to your next adventure.

"Three Months Too Many"

- Tommy Sparrow, 2021

Why does everything good must come to an end

I JUST WANT SOMEONE TO LOVE ME AS MUCH AS I LOVE THEM

why aren't you the only exception?

until my lungs collapse

it’s always the nights that are the hardest

when i lay in my dark room all i can thing about is the nights i layed with the lights still on

oh how i wish i could wake up again to my phone only half charged and over heating-

i wish i could go to sleep smiling after getting a picture of you on the phone

just after listening to you tell me over and over and over that you love me

to hear your laugh everytime i respond that i love you too

but i cant

instead i lay in the dark

in silence

crying and wishing i could hear you and see you just one more time

i want to see your smile, your real smile, that makes me want to smile back

i want you to tell me goodnight again

and i want you to tell me good morning when we wake up together

i want you

so badly

but you’re not mine anymore

i miss the older child/teen NPCs and their dialogue from Pathologic Classic they just had SO much attitude it was fun... i love how the girl NPCs would have those dorky pigtails and always put their hands on their hips whenever you talked to them, and how they’d peddle gossip and complain about running to the stores for their mothers, and when the army came they’d say they’d ‘seduce the soldiers with their womanly wiles’... and the boys looked so funny like they were incapable of walking up the stairs one step at the time. they had the most ridiculous walking animations. and the no shirt + ripped up jeans look was so funny. the way they kept talking about the war and Notkin & Khan’s gang fights that never actually happen. The juvenile machismo. They just had so much character even if they all had the same lines of dialogue to say

hi have a chao :) this is a nornal post :)

How do you learn to stop having feelings for someone? I want to know. I need to know. My mind and heart is filled with that person. I just can’t take it anymore. Why is it that I can’t stop thinking about that person, even when they’ve stopped thinking about me. 

Hoy decidí decirte adiós, no puedo hablar que te solté porque sigo en proceso. Pero al menos es un gran paso y considero que el comienzo.

Thinking about you tonight….💔😔

(Still loving you)

Does love ever really work out..?