my heart OH MY GOD

the casting agent is AMAZING

After all the pain, tears, and back-stabbing somehow my heart still belongs to you.

Isn’t that the most pathetic thing you’ve ever heard?

A letter I’ll never send to you

The day I met you, it was just a passing thought, an infatuation. But as the days, week, months go by it turned into something more. Something bigger. Something intense I’ve never felt before. Something unexpected. Sure I have had past lovers and shared intense emotions before. But never like this. This was something more than that. In this life, we fall for the most unexpected person at the most unexpected time. And it’s true. I never expected myself to fall for you. Neither did you. Neither did the rest of the world.

This feeling, it grew deeper and stronger as time pass us by. Every waking moment, I think about you — how are you feeling? have you eaten lunch yet? is everything okay with school, with your friends? etc. Everything that you do, all those little things… I wondered if it was magic. Whenever you smile, my heart skips a beat. Whenever you tell a lame joke, I find myself laughing. Just being near you makes my heart race. There’s something about you that make my feelings go crazy and I don’t what it is.

You have no idea how much I wanted to tell you I love you every day. So, so much. You have no idea how much it hurt me every single day I kept this feeling from you. But you were heartbroken, you recently got out of a relationship and I didn’t want to intrude into your life. I wanted you to take the time to heal and recover.

So I waited. Waited for a chance to tell you how much you mean to me. But I waited too long. Was I brave enough to win your love? To be honest, I wasn’t. I was afraid… of what you would have said, afraid of your answer. But just as I was about to say the truth, I lost you to somebody else… You found someone new and you looked happier. As much as I wanted to be happy for you and her, my heart was ripped apart just like that and it’s just– it’s so hard. It’s not your fault, I know it’s not. It’s my fault. My own inaction that led to my own demise.

But this love, it’s not going away any time soon. Because loving you is what holds me together, it’s what keeping me sane, it’s what keeping me alive despite the fact that it makes me wanna die a little. I’m going to continue loving you… I don’t think I can ever unlove you. And I’m going to miss you so much.

I love you, F.

Just You…..

I’m bored, stoned, & not quite ready to go to bed, even though it’s 3a.m. I’m watching a decently interesting new show on Netflix, & the only thing I wish more than anything I could do right now is talk to you. And because I’m such a dummy, I went through our texts & it just made me think about how much I so sincerely don’t understand what happened. But no matter how much pain I’m in, you’re still the first person that comes to mind when I want social interaction.

I wish I could just move on

Would you believe I have cried for fourteen hours straight today?

To the beautiful boy,

You drew me in with intelligent words and kept me there with those beautiful dark eyes. Those eyes that I was ready to let see the parts of me that weren’t that beautiful. The parts not hidden by clothes but by reactions to situations and responses to comments. Comments that made me feel worth more than face in a crowd. You made me feel pretty and safe… Safe.. A word so small yet they hold so much meaning. You see you never got to learn about the abuse I grew up in or the relationship that tore me apart limb by limb, but you… You promised to protect me not knowing what I needed protecting from.. Then today came. You didn’t know it had been a horrible day and I didn’t know it was getting worse. You told me you’d choosen someone else instead of me. It broke me in the middle of the store. I couldn’t breathe for a moment and I felt my heart sink into my stomach… I know you’re reading this and don’t stop here. I want you to know I’m not angry, I do forgive you, and I do wish for you to have nothing but happiness. I’m just hurt because you said “I’m not like other guys” and you were right. You were beginning to hold a fragile piece of my heart I never give away, but you were different… You still have it and someday I’d like it back..

Love,

Me, the girl who gave away her heart too soon

say it now - nick wilson

I hate being in love with you.

I would rip it from my soul if I could.

I don’t want these feelings or thoughts.

They throb.

Let’s just say I’ve never felt this way about anybody but you

Just let me keep the last piece of my heart before you tear it all apart

I am a recovering Love Addict…

I fall in love too fast and I get addicted so keep that fake love AWAY FROM ME PLEASE💔🗣

My first Christmas alone. For years I’ve had my partners or my close friends with me for Christmas. This year I’ll have no one… My heart is so split and so broken. I loathe the coming days…

Originally posted by jackstaubergif

I said I’d always be here for you and I meant it but it’s so hard to be here as your friend and nothing more

We both know we should be more

I’ll try my best to be more appealing to you I promise.

jestem typem takiej osoby która zamknie się w łazience by płakać a później wyjdzie z podniesiona głowa, jakby nic się nie stało

you broke my heart

Letzte Nacht hatte ich einen Traum. Einen Traum das alles nur ein böser Alptraum war und ist. Doch als ich mitten in der Nacht aufgewacht bin und neben mich gegriffen habe, war die Seite leer und kalt. So leer und kalt wie sie schon lange nicht mehr war. Und ich musste feststellen das der Alptraum nach wie vor besteht, dass er für mich wohl die Realität geworden ist. Es ist still und leer in der Wohnung und genauso sieht es auch in meiner Seele aus. Leere, Trauer, Angst. Die wohl drei wesentlichsten Gefühle die derzeit in mir herrschen. Die Gefühle die ich nicht mehr ablegen kann, die mich innerlich zerfressen. Drei Gefühle die die Liebe so sehr unterdrücken und ebenso auch das sonnige Gemüt. Ich erkenne mich kaum selbst wieder und doch weiß ich das ich selbst an dieser Situation mit schuld bin. Eine Situation die meinetwegen schnell enden kann. Jedoch bleibt mir nichts anderes übrig als abzuwarten und jeden Tag mit anzusehen, wie die Hoffnung jeden Tag immer mehr stirbt.

I miss talking to you

I miss you as a person

As my friend

Please come back in my life

have you ever loved someone so hard it hurt you? have you ever loved someone so bad that your heart felt like it was stabbed with needles? have you ever loved someone so hard you heard your heart in your ears, you felt the blood pumping in your heart? have you ever loved someone so hard and so bad you cried after talking to them because you knew they will never be yours?

You know that feeling you have when you start to be interested in someone? When you wonder, at 11 pm, what is he doing? If he has a middle name. If he loves his mum. I hate when it starts. Because that’s when I start to give a damn. When I start to self-doubt. When I look at myself 1000 times in the mirror and still feel like I’m not 1000 ready to leave the house but there’s nothing I can do about it so I just think “fuck it” and I leave feeling defeated. 

It fucking sucks to fall for someone before you fall for yourself. It drowns you. Because in the end, all the hours I spent trying to convince myself that is okay to look the way I do, are worth it for just a few minutes of conversations. I know, in a few weeks, everything I’m feeling is going to disappear because I know for a fact the boy will never be interested in me. It will break me every day. Piece by piece till I let go.

But I can’t help it.