Deceit Chapter 4 The Finale | Hendery
It’s finally finished! This final chapter was not easy for me to write but I hope the readers enjoy it. There will be a short epilogue posted in the next couple of days. I already finished it even, so you won’t have to wait long.
- Pairing: Hendery x Female reader, Kun x Female reader
- Genre: Angst
- Warnings: STRONG WARNINGS FOR THIS CHAPTER. Addiction, mentions of health and weight decline, severe drug withdrawals, rehab, character death, and mentions of suicide. This chapter is very dark and heavy so be prepared.
- Word Count: 4.9k
Previous | Epilogue
Hendery…. You thought you knew him but he continually seemed to prove that you in fact knew nothing about him. 12 years together and you honestly knew nothing about him. He was not the man you thought you knew, or he had changed. You knew him as a guy who adopted a cat with you even though he was allergic, the guy who would do anything to make you laugh if you were having a bad day, the guy who loved everything about you, and the guy who could never lie. But this new Hendery was none of that, he was just a shell of the man you knew, one that lied and one that would hurt you with no care. You never thought you could hate him, or regret it but at that moment all you felt was regret. Sure finding out your husband is a cheater hurts, but finding out he also can lie so easily makes you question a lot. What else was he lying about, was your entire relationship built around a lie?
These thoughts raced through your head. The day you found out he had lied, when the phone hit the ground Hendery woke up and questioned if you were okay. You slapped him and said you never wanted to see him again. Called him a piece of shit and the worst thing to ever happen to you. Hendery begged and pleaded for you to stay but you refused, you left that day and only ever saw him at meetings with a lawyer. You watched as the divorce progressed and Hendery slowly started to fall apart more and more. It was tough to watch but you refused to give in. This was all his fault and you needed to be freed. You called Kun and apologized for leaving with Hendery that night, and he accepted your apology admitting that he really did like you and would like to pursue a relationship when you were ready. Your life slowly started to become normal, you got your own apartment. The days were easy other than Hendery still sent you flowers or chocolates daily each with a note begging for forgiveness. The nights were difficult though, he had slept by your side for so long that being alone in a bed was hard. You missed somebody there to cuddle up to when you were cold, somebody to just lay there and listen to their heartbeat. Kun might end up being that person, but you weren’t ready to move on just yet. So most nights you cried holding a pillow with one of Hendery’s shirts. You hated that you found some comfort in the pillow and his smell but at the same time you couldn’t blame yourself. You know deep down that you shouldn’t feel this way, he hurt you, lied, cheated, and broke your trust, but fuck…. You couldn’t stop yourself from hurting. You knew nights would get better but it would just take time. It really did hurt to lose your forever, your supposed other half. When you left you felt you left half of yourself there with him. It was this deep nagging feeling, a feeling of emptiness you just couldn’t shake. During the day, this feeling went away as you were busy with work and able to keep your mind off of it, but your mind could dwell on those negative emotions at night. Based on how Hendery looked the last time when you saw him that day, you assumed he was feeling it just as bad or worse as you.
You sighed and rolled onto your back staring up at the ceiling, the divorce had been finalized that day and you were finally a single woman. It felt nice to be free of it all, but it also made you question what went so wrong that it came down to this.
What led to this happening? You thought back on everything leading up to this and couldn’t figure out why he would have cheated or why he started to lie so much…. Maybe it’s better to not know.
A few months had passed since the divorce and you were doing better. Kun and you started to go on dates but never did anything beyond that. Kun told you that Hendery told people the truth of your divorce and many of the fellow CEOs and workers were not happy with him, outcasting him because you were good friends with most of them. He said that Hendery had started to isolate himself, refusing to go to work, and only working from home. He only allowed a select group of people to come see him. Kun was not one of those and the ones who did see him would not say much.
You started to worry about him, wondering if he was drinking enough water and eating. No matter what you would always worry for his health.
You tried not to think about it until one day you got a call from Lucas.
“Hey. I know this is a lot to ask but can you please come over here. Hendery is doing very bad today.”
“Uhm sure Lucas. I’ll be over after work.”
You knew going to help was a bad idea, but if he was bad enough that Lucas called you, you figured you needed to go. So that night you went back to a place you never thought you would. You pressed in the code, which was still the same, the day you two got married. You sighed and stepped inside.
You curled your nose up, being hit with a very strong smell. “Oh god, what is that smell.”
Lucas walked into the entryway where you were and sighed, “Stinks right? He fired the housekeeper, refuses to shower, and refuses to let us clean.”
“This is really bad Lucas.”
“I know that’s why we called you in for help, we didn’t know what else to do. He literally won’t stop telling us how he made the biggest mistake of his life and he just sits around all day feeling sad for himself. He also is drunk nearly 24/7 and when we try to slow him down he gets angry. He started doing drugs too.”
“Oh god, okay let me make a list of ingredients if you will run and get them for me from the store. I will fix him some real food and then have a talk with him. I’m also gonna clean up.”
He nodded, “I really appreciate it. We were getting worried and didn’t know what to do.”
You walked into the kitchen to see if you needed to clean dishes to cook. The kitchen was a mess, takeout bins, flies, and dirty dishes everywhere. The trash hadn’t been taken out in ages, you could tell by the rancid smell. If the kitchen was this bad, you couldn’t even imagine how bad the rest of the house was or how bad he was. You needed to clean up, but first, you wanted to see how bad everything was.
You walked past the dining room, seeing empty crushed beer cans, bottles of hard liquor, and a little baggie with white powder on the floor. Your heart hurt, had he really gotten that bad?
You heard the TV in the living room, so you walked in and the disaster in there was worse than the other two rooms combined. You gasped silently, and tears filled your eyes, it looked nothing like the home you once knew. The artwork you had picked out together was shredded, and it looked like he destroyed a pillow in a fit of rage the stuffing scattered around the room. You couldn’t see Hendery yet, only the back of his head as he stared at the TV, his shoulders shaking as silent sobs left his body. Your eyes finally moved to see what he was watching, and you felt your heartbreak. The footage from your wedding was playing, the two of you smiling and laughing as you danced together. Oh, how you missed being with him like that, holding him close, smiling, and laughing. If only the ‘you’ back then knew what the future held, you were just happy to be by his side, blissfully ignorant. A part of you wished you could go back to that, but the other part knew it was better this way. Kun had worked so hard to heal you, and being back here was breaking you down again.
You finally stepped closer to the man you hadn’t seen in months, the man your heart still loved even if it hurt to do so. Your heart had simply just made room for Kun but you did not love Hendery any less than you did that day in the video playing on the TV.
You touched Hendery’s shoulder, “Hendery?”
He turned quickly, and you could finally take in his features.
He looked like the skeleton of the man you last saw. His hair was oily and disheveled, his eyes had started to sink in and deep eye bags were under them, his cheeks weren’t full anymore but instead, you could clearly see his bones. He had lost so much weight, and he just looked sick.
His lip quivered, “Princess? Is it really you?”
He grabbed your face in his hands and let his eyes scan your face.
“Am I dreaming? Did I finally die? You can’t be real.”
You laid your hands on top of his, “It’s really me Hendery.”
Tears started to fall from both of your eyes, and he reached up, hugging you. You awkwardly leaned over the couch, hugging him.
“Hendery, how could you let yourself get this bad?”
“I fucked up, I can’t live without you, I never could.”
You went to move away from him, but he held onto you tighter, desperate.
He sobbed into your shoulder, “Please don’t let go of me, please don’t leave. I can’t do this without you.”
You rubbed his back, “Shh Hendery, you will be okay. I promise.”
“No, I won’t.”
You rubbed his hair, even though the oil from it not being washed, coated your hand, just wanting to comfort him.
“Hendery, I need to help you get better okay?”
He nodded into your chest.
“I want you to go shower, I am going to cook you some real food, then we need to talk.”
“Shower with me.”
He sighed but finally let you pull away from the hug. You patted his head, “I will help you get better, I promise. I don’t want you hurting.”
“I want to not hurt anymore Princess, everything hurts to the point that I feel numb.”
He slowly got up from his spot, and wobbled, clearly already somewhat drunk. He walked off to the bathroom to shower and you sighed finally able to survey the damage of the living room. Something caught your eye though, there was white powder cut into small lines on the table and you wanted to cry. He really had turned to addiction to cope with the divorce.
You cleaned as Hendery showered, slowly getting the place picked back up. Lucas got back and put the groceries away for you. Lucas also helped you clean up, wanting to help Hendery as much as he could.
“I am so worried about Hendery, I don’t want to lose my friend.”
You rubbed Lucas’s arm, “I am glad you called me. I will work with him and help him get better.”
“A-are you going to get back with him?”
“No, I love Kun and I want to pursue a future with him but I want to help Hendery because I still love him.”
He nodded and sighed then continued cleaning as you started on cooking.
“I will stay here with you until you leave, I don’t want him to do something bad because he is under the influence.”
Hendery came into the room a bit later and he laughed, “She has you cleaning Lucas?”
You could hear the two chatting as you cooked, and then Hendery came into the room. He looked a bit better after showering but he still looked bad. You noticed he seemed to have more energy than before and noticed his pupils were heavily dilated. He had probably taken some cocaine before coming out here. You finished the food, cooking Hendery’s favorite. He slowly ate, and Lucas even ate some as payment for cleaning. Everybody was quiet, not sure what to talk about.
You knew you needed to discuss everything, but the silence was more comfortable and none of you wanted to break it.
He sighed, “I know we need to talk but honestly I don’t feel comfortable discussing everything. Let’s just leave it at the fact that I have been in a dark place, and I started doing bad things.”
“We don’t have to discuss it all right now, but someday we need to talk about it all.”
Silence filled the room again.
Hendery finished eating and leaned back in his chair, “I haven’t eaten a real full meal in months. That was nice.”
“Hendery, I’m going to be coming to check up on you a couple of nights a week. I want to help you get through this.”
He nodded, “Maybe, I can win you back.”
You didn’t want to deny him, didn’t want to hurt him any more than he was already hurt, even though you knew there was no way you would get back together.
This became your regular thing every two nights, one of Hendery’s friends was with you anytime you went there. They were there to make sure Hendery didn’t do something bad, and to also help you clean up.
You tried to talk Hendery into going to rehab to deal with the addiction, he had tried to stop on his own but had been unable to. He called you in a panic one night after he tried to not drink or take coke, having severe withdrawals, you didn’t want him to stop on his own but he insisted.
Kun and you had moved in together, and when you got that call he drove you, worried for Hendery too. Even though the two no longer spoke, Kun still cared about Hendery, they had been friends for quite a long time.
Kun always wanted to be there with you helping Hendery because you were the woman he loved having to help your ex-husband and it was one of his best friends but for Hendery’s sake Kun stayed away.
You ran into your old place, searching for Hendery when you heard groans. You ran into the bathroom and saw Hendery laying on the floor nearly convulsing.
“Hendery!? What happened?”
“T-tried to stop.”
He shook and he cradled himself, “So cold.”
You moved his head onto your lap and he was sweating profusely.
Kun walked in after you and his eyes widened when he saw Hendery, “Kun call emergency services. We need to get him to the hospital.”
Kun stepped out of the room to call them as you pushed Hendery’s hair from his face.
“Shh you will be okay Hendery, I’m here.”
His body shook and he grabbed onto your leg, holding on tight.
“It all hurts.”
You continued to move your hand across his hair, trying to soothe him, “I know, but we will get you help.”
Tears started to pour from his eyes, “I am so so sorry. I regret what I did every day. I really don’t think I can live without you.”
“Of course you can, you are strong Hendery.”
“A prince is only strong with his princess. I need my princess.”
You wiped the tears from his eyes as you cradled him to your chest.
“It’s just the withdrawal Hendery, I promise once you kick this you will feel better and we will find you a new princess.”
“I only want you.”
The room went silent and then he started to shake harder. You looked down and his eyes had rolled back into his head, only white visible. “Hendery?”
He just continued to shake. “Kun, I think he’s having a seizure. Help!”
Kun came running into the bathroom and tears spilled from your eyes. You didn’t want Hendery to die.
“What do I do?”
“I don’t know.”
Kun came and laid a hand on your back offering you some comfort, “An ambulance is on the way. They will be able to help him.”
Hendery suddenly stopped shaking and went limp in your arms. Your breathing hitched as you looked down at the man, limp in your arms.
Kun moved a hand under his nose and froze.
“Put him down flat on the ground now.”
You laid him down and more tears spilled from your eyes.
Kun moved over him and pressed against his chest, counting each pump up to 30 then he leaned over and blew into his mouth. You sat there crying, wanting to help but so shocked that he stopped breathing in your arms. You reached for Hendery’s hand, holding it.
Kun checked for breathing again and got nothing so he repeated the process.
“Come on Hendery, don’t die on me. Please don’t die on me.”
After the second round of CPR, Hendery still laid there not breathing.
Kun pushed against his chest desperately, “Please dude, wake up.”
About 15 pushes in on the third attempt, Hendery took in a deep breath, choking.
“You are okay Hendery?”
You held his hand to your face and sobbed harder, happy to see him breathing.
Kun let out the breath he was holding and leaned back, giving Hendery space.
Hendery groaned when he finally stopped choking and stared up at the ceiling. The doorbell rang and Kun went to open it, knowing it was emergency services.
“I’m so glad you didn’t die on me Hendery.”
He pulled your hand up to his lips and kissed it before smiling weakly. The paramedics came in shortly after and Kun told them about what had happened.
They got him on a stretcher and you finally let go of his hand and he grabbed it again.
“I’ll see you at the hospital Hendery.”
“Please come with me.”
“I’m sorry but she can’t come with you, but they can meet you there.”
Hendery held onto your hand tighter then sighed, “Okay.”
You saw him get rolled off into the ambulance and then you broke down in Kun’s arms. He held you as you cried, “It’s okay, let it all out Angel. Then we need to get to the hospital and you need to be brave for him.”
After crying for a bit longer he drove you to the hospital where they said Hendery was just experiencing severe withdrawals and they would be transferring him to rehabilitation so he could safely continue his withdrawal.
You walked into the room they had Hendery in and he smiled, “Hey princess, hey Kun.”
You ran over and hugged him and he laughed softly, “Happy I’m finally getting help? Took me almost dying but here I am. Thank you for saving me, Kun.”
“Of course, I wouldn’t have let you die.”
The three of you chatted for a bit and the two of you agreed to drive Hendery over to rehab in the morning. It was voluntary rehab, not anything he was forced to do but he agreed to it, wanting to get better. The next morning Kun and you drove him to rehab where he stayed for almost a month to make sure he was fully better.
When you picked him up after that month he had gained weight, looked healthier, and happier.
“Hey, Princess. Hey, Kun.”
You talked on the way back home, and you had spoken to Hendery’s therapist once he was leaving and she recommended that he stay with you and Kun for a few weeks until it seemed he actually was okay. You personally thought that having Hendery stay with his ex-wife and her new boyfriend was a bad idea, but you trusted her input.
Hendery stayed with the two of you, and it was a bit awkward but you could tell Hendery was doing better now.
One day you weren’t feeling well so you stayed back home with Hendery and finally talked with him.
“Princess, I am happy to see you happy but it does hurt to see you with somebody who isn’t me.” “I honestly don’t know why your therapist wanted us to do this.”
He sighed and then you sat in silence.
“I am sorry, sorry for everything. I fucked up the marriage, then fucked up my life, and in the end, you were still there. No matter how bad I fucked up you were still there for me, and I don’t understand why.”
“Because no matter what, I will always love you Hendery, but our love was not meant to be.”
“I will always love you too. I don’t think I can ever move on, I think no matter what I will always wonder what could have been had I not fucked up. You are my best friend, my partner in crime, and the person I really wished I could see carry my children.”
Hendery seemed to space out staring off at the ceiling, fidgeting with his hands.
“I started drinking the day after the party. I was so upset about everything I just wanted to not feel. I tried so damn hard to just not hurt, because it all fucking hurt. The alcohol helped for a bit but then it started to not make me feel numb enough. After the divorce, I tried fucking away the pain, tried to just bury my pain in somebody else but it wasn’t you so it never worked. Somebody recommended I try cocaine and it worked, it made me happy and made me feel like I was okay. I continued to drink and it was this toxic cycle of taking cocaine and feeling hyper and better then drinking and feeling depressed and down. I slowly spiraled down and by the time you came to help I was ready to end my life, I felt that was the only way out. So thank you, you didn’t have to help me but you went out of your way to help me.”
“Of course, I will always be here to help you Hendery.”
He hugged you and then sighed.
“I still hurt, but I think it will get better. I want to be happy like you are, I want to just be able to feel something other than pain or numbness.”
Hendery moved out a couple of days after that conversation, and when he left he did something you never expected.
“Kun, thank you for being there for her when I couldn’t be. Thank you for being the man she needs. I think seeing you with her showed me that you are giving her things I could never, and it does hurt but it also makes it easier. If one day you want to marry her, I wish you the best.”
Hendery went home and you still checked on him occasionally and he was doing much better, he fired the secretary and started to go back to work. He listed the place for sale that you had lived at together, figuring starting anew would be better for him. He got back to his old weight and the light seemed to come back into his eyes. You could tell he was still struggling some but he was doing better. You wanted him to be happy like you were, and you wanted him to find a new wife, have children, and live a long life.
You had helped Hendery move into his new place a couple of days before and were relaxing on the couch reading a book. Kun walked in and you noticed the look on his face, “Everything okay babe?”
He smiled but it didn’t fully reach his face, “Yeah, just stressed about work.”
He sat down beside you, and you rested your head on his chest and he wrapped his arm around you.
You grabbed the remote and clicked the TV on, the news coming on. He tried to grab it from you, “Ah, let’s not watch that. You know the TV just rots your brain.”
“What the fuck Kun? I just want to watch the news.”
“Okay, well actually I need it off so I can tell you about our mini vacation. We are going to go out with no phones and relax and unwind.”
“That doesn’t sound suspicious, I would think you were going to murder me.”
He laughed nervously and then reached to grab the remote again. “What is your deal, Kun? Just stop. Something is obviously wrong.”
He looked at the remote you held away from him and then back at you and he gulped. You were about to question him when you heard
So you turned away from his gaze and to the TV.
“A CEO of NEO entertainment company, Huang Guanheng, was found dead in his home last night. He had apparently just listed the place for sale and moved into a new apartment. The cause of death is unknown at this point but it appears it could have been suicide but could also have been an accidental overdose as drugs were found next to his body. We will update you when we receive more information.”
Your world crashed down around you at that moment. You just saw him a few days ago, he was doing better, how could this have happened.
Kun placed a hand on your shoulder and then took the remote from your hand.
“I didn’t want you to know yet.”
“I-I he’s dead?”
“I’m sorry Angel.”
You didn’t even know what to feel…. Shocked, sad, what did you need to feel?
“Shh angel, cry all you need.”
You didn’t even realize you were crying until he said that and tears were streaming down your face. He was gone…. He would never get to have children, he wouldn’t get to grow old with the person who loved him, it was all over.
Your body shook as you finally broke down, screaming out as you sobbed. The pain you felt in the moment was worse than any pain you had ever experienced in your life. Kun held you as you sobbed so hard you would stop breathing for moments. You sobbed until you were so dehydrated no tears could even leave your eyes.
“Let me get you some water, Angel.”
You grabbed onto his shirt, “No, please stay. I can’t lose you too.”
He rubbed your back, “Shh, I am not going anywhere.”
Later that day you passed out from crying so hard when you woke up Kun was holding you in his arms, there was a knock on the door. Kun went to move you to open it but you didn’t want to leave his side.
So you stood up to walk with him. He opened it and a delivery man stood there holding flowers.
“I have a delivery for you.”
He handed the flowers to you and a large note.
You took them and sucked in a deep breath when the note said “Princess”.
You slowly walked back to where you had been laying with Kun, placing the flowers on the counter on the way. You sat down and you opened the note carefully.
I hate that this goodbye had to be through a letter. There is so much to say but I feel like words will never be able to convey what I fully am feeling. I really wanted to be happy like you, wanted to be okay. I tried. I guess it’s ironic, I was the whole reason this even happened and yet here I am the one breaking down and giving up, probably a little pitiful. I guess I should have just accepted that I messed up and moved on but I just couldn’t, all I could do was wish that I could still be with you. I wish that we could have had our forever together, I wish that I could be there with you but in the end, I think this is better. I know you, Princess, you are going to blame yourself wonder what you could have done to stop this, but you could have done nothing. This is all on me, everything is on me. You were perfect, the perfect wife, the perfect friend and I took it for granted and fucked it up. Please don’t give up because of me, go be the perfect wife for Kun. Make him happy, have children, please just go be happy. I will haunt your ass if I find out you are ruining your life for me. I just want you to be happy, be happy in the way I failed to make you happy. You deserve nothing but the best, and I know Kun will give you that. I always loved you and will love you for an eternity. I hope that somewhere in your heart you will always love me too. Maybe in another life, this would have worked out, maybe in another life, we could have been together forever. I guess this is goodbye.
Your Prince Hendery”
The letter fell from your hands onto the floor and numbness took over your body. You wanted to be happy like Hendery asked, but could you really do that? Could you just live a happy life with Kun knowing that your first husband is dead?
“Can I read it?”
You nodded and Kun read it and set it down on the table. “I promise you will be okay Angel.”
He pulled you to his chest and you finally relaxed, you would try for Hendery’s sake.