Aaron Burr x Reader
description: Aaron Burr is your lifeline, but what happens when you lose your lifeline?
word count: 2.7k
warning: strong language, fluff, angst, war, mentions of death
a/n: Y’all this is a long one, buckle up.
“Aaron! Aaron! I got in! I got accepted into Princeton!” I ran into Aaron. We collided and soon were met with the hardness of the ground.
“Y/N that’s amazing! We get to go together. Oh, I hope we can con whoever is in our dorms to be able to live together.” Aaron kissed my face.
I gasp. “Aaron we can’t do that. What would our family say? Especially with your parent’s legacy to uphold. I can’t put your family name to disgrace.”
Aaron is a Burr. The son of Aaron Burr Sr., the founder of Princeton College. I couldn’t put the family through a scandal. I can see the headlines now. ‘Founder of Princeton College, Aaron Burr Sr., devastated by son and his mistress’ I was already a disgraced and apparent threat to them anyway. It doesn’t matter how much Mr. and Mrs. Burr loved me like a daughter, I knew society wouldn’t accept me for his family. I came from a poor family living in a 1 bedroom housing with two other siblings. Our parents died from severe illness a couple of years ago. I was the youngest and the wildest, only because my older brothers were tamed and collected.
“Doll, you are not a disgrace. I don’t want you to ever say that again.” Aaron looked at me seriously with a hint of sympathy. I nod, not daring to look up at him. He gently lifted my chin, “I mean it Y/N. You are so much more than what you tell yourself. Not only are you a star to everyone and yourself, but you’re also my favorite star.” We share a sweet gentle kiss underneath the tree.
“When I stargaze at night, watching the time go by. The phasings of the moon, I think of you. And when the stars twinkle in the sky, I thank God that you’re in my life. You are my one and only, Y/N you are my shining star.” Aaron spoke sweetly to me while holding me close.
“You know how to sweet talk a girl don’t you, Burr?” I smirked pushing myself away from him gently walking past him towards the dorm building.
Aaron pulled me close back to his chest. “Only for my best girl.”
It’s been a long two years, but Aaron and I graduated. However, the war was fully on. King George, the asshat that he is, just kept sending more and more ships filled with ammo and soldiers. One day while walking through the city, we were stopped by a man around our age. He looked lost and mishappening.
“Excuse me, are you Aaron Burr?” The man asked Aaron, and knowing Aaron, he tucked me behind him softly.
“That depends, who’s asking?”
“Oh sure, sir. I’m Alexander Hamilton. I’m at your service, sir. I have been looking for you-” Alexander was stopped mid-sentence.
“I’m getting nervous.” Aaron held my hand tighter.
“I heard your name at Princeton. I wanted an accelerated course of study just like you. When I got sort of out of sorts with a buddy of yours. I may have punched him, its a blur, sir. I wanted to do what you did. Graduate in two and join the revolution.” Alex told us.
I stepped out from behind Aaron, “You punched the bursar? Good, someone should’ve done that a while ago.”
Alex chuckled as Aaron smiled. “Can I buy you a drink?”
“That would be nice.” Alex followed us towards the bar down the street. We walked in to find John Laurens, Hercules Mulligan, and Lafayette sitting at a table towards the back corner. I knew Aaron didn’t care for them, but I grew accustomed to them. We became friends quickly after bonding over numerous things. I mean, I was Hercules’s model for his new clothing on the side. I let them talk while I ran over to my friends.
“Alex let me offer you some free advice. Talk less, smile more. Don’t let them know what you’re against or what you’re for.”
Alex looks quizzical, “You can’t be serious.”
“You wanna get ahead. Fools who run their mouths off wind up dead.” Aaron clapped his hand on Alex’s shoulder. Soon they joined us in a drink.
Some time has past and Alex was now apart of our friend group. Although, have my boys fight in the war was difficult. My brothers were both fighting alongside the boys, so I was truly alone. However, I’ve met General Washington a few times with helping them out with the information I receive. With connections, he introduced me to the Schuyler family. The sisters have been my friends throughout this journey. While my brothers were fighting, we got evicted. General Schuyler was more than generous to have me move in with them for the time being.
While we were enjoying our day gardening and making dinner from our fresh garden, there was a knock on the door. It didn’t seem like a knock that came from a friend or a neighbor but of a soldier. Having all the men in your life in the military, you know some things. Angelica opened the door, “Yes sir, how can we help you?”
“Excuse me, Ms. Schuyler. I’m looking for Ms. L/N.” The lieutenant asked.
I came running to the door. “Yes, Lieutenant?” I started to worry.
“I’m sorry to inform you, but Luca L/N and Douglas L/N have died fighting for the revolution. God bless ladies.” I watch him leave. Everything in me stops as I drop to the floor. My body runs cold with numbness succumbing over me. I can’t breathe. Any and every emotion comes out of me. The initial shock, gut-wrenching pain; I scream out. Angela holds me close on the front porch of their home. Eliza and Peggy run out.
“What happened?” Eliza knelt down.
“My brothers,” I hiccuped from sobbing, “They died in a battle.” I couldn’t keep it in. I let out all the emotions coursing through my body. All three siblings wrapped their arms around me for comfort.
I hadn’t seen Aaron in months. No letter, no communication, nothing from his end. I used to write letters every day, but that soon changed into every week, which then lead to every other and now once a month. I don’t know if I did anything wrong for him to shut me out like this. We’ve been courting for over five years now. I understand fully that he’s in a war, but that doesn’t excuse the fact that I’ve needed him and he can’t write me one letter. I hear from General Washington every month on updates. Aaron is fine and healthy, so why won’t he write to me?
The Schuyler family is throwing a Winter Ball this coming weekend, and within preparations, I needed a dress. I decided to wear my mother’s wedding gown, it wasn’t a white dress made for marriage. All she had was her mother’s fanciest dress. It happened to be a gold-ish and brown ball gown. The sisters and I were getting ready in Angelica’s room, talking about the men we’d be seeing tonight.
“You think Burr’s gonna show up, or be the coward that he is for the past six months?” Peggy asked doing my hair.
“Pegs.” Eliza scolded her younger sister, knowing she stepped too far.
“What? He’s being a coward. He can’t take five minutes to write his love a letter? Or if he can’t write because of an injury, one of the other guys could. I just don’t see how he’s gonna get out of this one.”
“Ok, thank you Peggy for that great analysis.” Angelica grabbed my hand and led me down the stairs to the party. It didn’t seem too packed, but there were a fair amount of people.
I’ve been searching for Aaron all night long, wondering where he could be. Why didn’t he show? What did I do to deserve him to leave me without an explanation or reasoning? Lafayette and Hercules have been keeping me company tonight, knowing that they don’t have a real chance here. Peggy has been in the upstairs back room with John all night; I’m not surprised. Eliza and Alex seem close, but so do Angelica and Alex; that wasn’t going to end well. Around midnight, I give up all hope in everything.
“I’m going to bed guys. You’re welcome to stay, but I must go.” I hug them all adieu promising to write. As I pace the room back and forth, I can’t get the feeling of betrayal out of my heart. Pain is all I feel from head to toe. Physically, emotionally, mentally; I can’t do this anymore. I calm down from my pacing to begin my last and final letter to Aaron. Promising to send it out in the morning, I wrote for what felt hours. I heard a knock at my door, which turned into an urgent bang. Quickly hiding the letter in my draw, I opened the door to find all three sisters telling me we need to hide for the family’s safety.
Weeks have passed on since the Winter Ball. To say it has been a busy month is an understatement. Eliza and Alex are to be married soon, which meant preparations. Between helping Eliza, consoling Angelica, and gossiping with Peggy, I haven’t had time to think or dwell in my thoughts about Aaron. Not once since the Winter Ball has he been on my mind. I didn’t know if that was a positive thing or not. All I knew was that it felt like my heart took a break, a well-needed break.
The wedding came faster than I would’ve thought. The venue was beautiful and the banquet hall for the reception was breathtaking. This was going to be a wonderful night; although, I do wish that Aaron was here with me.
Emotions are a funny thing. One day you want to be soft and lovey with your person. Cuddled up and talking about the future in a way that expresses love and admiration. Then the next day you want to take batting lessons to their head with a metal bat. Just keep swinging until the anger and frustration dies out of you.
All of us women are in Eliza’s room getting ready in our bridesmaid dresses when Eliza walks out of the bathroom in her dress.
“E! You look gorgeous. Oh my gosh, that dress suits you so well!” Peggy hugged her sister.
“You’re the most beautiful bride ever hun.” Angelica hugged her next.
“Eliza you look like an angel. This dress is perfect for you!” I was the last to hug her.
Not long after, they were married, happily walking down the aisle. As I stood a few steps down from the alter getting reading to follow them out, I knew that whatever I had with Aaron, was over with. There he was. Sitting in the back row with another woman. Both looking so in love and happy together. It was as if I never existed in his life. Peggy tried getting my attention but soon followed where my eyes were. I looped my arm through Lafayette walking out, hiding my face. This wasn’t the place or time, but it will be tomorrow.
All throughout the wedding I was on edge. I didn’t show any emotion but happiness for Alex and Eliza. Nothing helped, but I knew that it was now for certain overwith. Lafayette and Peggys are the only ones who saw, which meant I spent most of my time with them tonight. Dancing, drinking, and eating was making me forget, but in the worst ways. I wasn’t healing, I was forgetting for a night. After a bottle and a half Peggy had to keep me away from the bar. I got friendly with the bartender to the point I was slipping him money to get a drink. Lafayette saw and had to pull me to the dancefloor as a distraction. That was an hour ago, but now I was sitting on the balcony crying against the wall. Sobering up to a mental breakdown isn’t fun, but neither was my situation.
“Pegs, we need to tell them what’s going on.” Lafayette was leaning against the doorway.
“I know, c’mon the wedding’s over. We can bug them now.” Peggy lead Laf down the stairs to the rest of the reception where their friends were sitting. Lafayette and Peggy explained from their both sides. Laf talked on the war perspective and Pegs from the perspective of living at home.
Hercules interrupted in rage, “He will not get away with this.” Not long after the guys left.
“Eliza I am so sorry. I didn’t want to handle this on your wedding day.” I bowed my head.
“Oh sweetie don’t worry anout it. We had a wondeful wedding, it’s over now. Now it’s time for revenge.” I leaned my head on her shoulder.
Eliza, Angelica, Peggy, and I watched the incoming encounter from a nearby stoop.
“Well if it isn’t Aaron Burr.” Alex said walking towards him. “Sir.” Aaron nodded.
“You are the worst, Burr.” Laf said angrily, getting his fist ready.
“Excuse me?” Aaron looked at Lafayette.
John came up behind him, “You’ve got a special someone on the side, Burr. What are you tryin’ to hide, Burr?”
“I don’t know what you’re referencing.” Sweat started to form on his forehead.
“I think you do. I think you know what you did and have been doing to our dearest Y/N.” Herc gritted his teeth. At this point I walked down the step to the street to see him.
“I saw her Aaron. I know what you haven’t done and what you have done. Don’t try to lie or deny anything.” I crossed my arms not going near him.
“You don’t know the full story. I didn’t see the colors of the coats. I didn’t see where they were standing. I didn’t see who was on whose side. I shot them and killed them, hours later I was told they were Luca and Douglas. I’m so sorry Y/N. I never meant to.” Aaron was now sobbing on his knees.
“So instead, you lie to me, stop talking to me, find a new lover, and try to act as if this was a mutual thing? I gave my whole fucking life you to Aaron. Shit! I’ve known you since we were just kids. Why did you think now would be an exception to just cut me out. Fuck you! Fuck you for putting me through so much shit. Fuck you for killing my ONLY family I had left. Did you even know what I was going through here? Or where you so damn selfish that you really thought of yourself?” I screamed at him.
“Y/N I’m-” Aaron interrupted.
“I’m not done asshole. I did so much for you. I kept you grounded when you were spiraling. I was there when your parents died. I was there when your sister left. I was there through everything major in your life. I sent you letters constantly, but no. I got NOTHING back. I thought you died asshole. But you know what motherfucker, sometimes I wish I could change my life to where I never fucking met you!!!” I calmed down after a minute. All the emotions slowly filtering out of me. I looked him dead in the eyes. “Don’t you dare do this to that woman. You don’t deserve love and happiness. Choke on a dick Aaron Burr.” I took my jacket from Peggy and walked away. That was the most empowering thing I have ever done.
A month later I left the house to go down to the post office. It had been a hard month, but a reaffirming one. I was gaining back my confidence, my stature. I was gaining my courageous self again. I mailed that letter out. Hoping it reaches to the person I hope reads it the most. Dear Mrs. Theodosia Prevost, here’s everything you need to know about the man you think you know.