What happens if you hire a hitman to kill a hitman? Could you hire them both to kill each other and start a fight to the death?
If you get enough money could you hire a bunch of hitmen to kill a bunch of hitmen and start the first hitman hunger games?
0questions: pt.2
do you guys think that there are hit men in harry potter? i think it would just be dumb if there wasn’t. what kind of world would you be running? and i know what you’re thinking ‘oh well wouldn’t death eaters count as hit men?’ no. hit men don’t do it personally like *cough cough* the man who can’t kill a baby.
7Does anyone have any good unsub!BAU fic recs? It can literally be anything, oneshots with each character as a villain, everyone as a team of antagonists, hitmen au? Literally anything…. please… I’m desperate
18
New Optipess comic!
“The Dig”
What a lucky guy! Turns out that “driving an excavator” was his dying wish anyway.
46
Hitmen (Peacock)
Comedy
Logline: Fran + Jamie are best friends + business partners - they just happen to kill people for a living. Having stumbled into a career in contract killing, the misfit duo are definitely not your typical killers for hire.
Dru’s Decision: CARRY | ****
BBC America’s sensational comedrama Killing Eve reinterpreted the assassin genre from a female lens. It was only a matter of time before more female killers popped up. Enter Peacock’s latest British acquisition, a contract killer dark comedy that stars not one but two women: former The Great British Bakeoff duo Mel Giedroyc + Sue Perkins. As dire as this series should feel, there is a droll lightness to everything, even the killings feel somehow more fluffier than they should. Female friendships are often compelling, but especially these ladies of a certain age ping-ponging about green card marriages, strippers, and, of course, their marks, is very entertaining. From the Saltine-dry humor about mundanities to the unrefined slapstick murders all in 22 neat minutes, this series is about as uncomplicated (or at least slyly textured) a hitwomen series can be. Aside from their chemistry are some choice guest star targets.
Giedroyc + Perkins cook up some lovely moments as Jamie + Fran. Jamie is a more reliable straightwoman (ironic since she often fantasizes about women), while Fran brings more silly chaos energy. Tonya Cornelisse’s rival Liz is more femme fatale than Jamie + Fran, consistently cleaning up their mess but also titillating Jamie. Asim Chaudry’s beta assistant Charles not only contrasts with his partner Liz but provides even more silliness. Sian Clifford is utterly sidesplitting as a neurotic robotic traitor, while Nick Mohammed has a memorable appearance as a dancing Human Spider.
The fourth episode (“Dog,” ***) stranded Jamie + Fran in the woods (similar to the previous episode) with a mark + a ferocious, wild card dog. The pilot (“Birthday,” ****) set everything up nicely, with plenty of comedic fakeouts + character moments with a simple story. The second episode (“Money,” ****), my fave, took Jamie + Fran to nice comedic heights as they try to torture information out of hilarious guest star Clifford as The Accountant. The third episode (“Woods,” ***) took Jamie + Fran on an assignment to kill that tests both Jamie’s maternal abilities + runs them afoul of some creepy Brownies.
This is series that lives or, ahem, dies by the guest stars, made especially obvious when Sian Clifford both nearly steals the show + brings out the best in Jamie + Fran, but the following episode opposite the Brownies, Jamie pops less. Unlike Killing Eve or even HBO’s Barry, this is not a series designed to really subvert expectations or re-envision a genre, preferring to feature two funny women killing it. Hitmen, renewed for a second season, is a buoyant, often-amusing insight into middle aged female friendship through the lens of middling assassins with some uproarious guest spots. Despite less than ambitious storytelling, these comedy killers are worth contracting.
Team: Siobhan Bachman (ep), Morewenna Gordon (ep), Joe Markham (creator, writer), Myfanwy Moore (ep), Joe Parham (creator, writer), Ollie Parsons (director)
Series Regulars: Mel Giedroyc as Jamie, Sue Perkins as Fran
Production Company(s)/Studio(s): Sky Studios, Tiger Aspect
1Look, mate, we’re just trying to do our job. Why don’t we pull you up, you can get warm, and then we can kill you in a civilized manner?
HITMEN (2020—)77OK, I signed up for Peacock just because they have the Sue and Mel sitcom “Hitmen” only to discover that everything else after episode one is only available with a Peacock Premium subscription. GRR! Why couldn’t Hitmen have gone to Hulu, Netflix, or BritBox?
8Ex-wife plots murder of ex-husband. Hires military hitman, hitman runs off with cash. Police find out and wire fake hitman and influence idiot couple to hire another hitman that’s actually undercover police. Police and FBI work together to fake two deaths and bring evidence of fake death to Ex-wife. Just normal feminist priorities of being as predatory and counterproductive as men have been throughout human history. Don’t ever assume that women can’t be just as predatory as men.
0Hitmen Trailer
Peacock’s Hitmen stars Mel Giedroyc and Sue Perkins as best friends Jamie and Fran. The women are trying to make their way in the world as assassins. Their bickering inevitably leads to “bizarre misadventures…and unexpected dilemmas.” (Peacock)
Hitmen hits Peacock on August 6, 2020.
15“Sounds intense.”
“It can be.”
Mel Giedroyc and Sue Perkins in the trailer of “Hitmen” (2020– )
17#tbt - circa 2017 - When no matter how much status or money they have, they just can’t seem to get you out their heads. Even decades later. Stoute said, Jay-Z is asking….Yikes!!!! 🤔🤔🤔👑👑.
Is it something we did? 🎶🎤🎬🎹🎼🥁🎷🎸🏆Lmao. #Hitmen
Nashiem and D-Dot huh??? 👀Nore’s face says it all! 🤔 Lmao…. Don’t think @therealnoreaga agrees… 🤷🏽♂️ s/o @whoscrazy -
Did someone say Verzuz? Tell Stoute @stevestoute to holla at @therealswizzz and @timbaland then man. Put some of that yappin’ to rest. Tone, all love bro, you know how we do Brooklyn style BUT there’s only ONE WAY to really answer Jay’s question. What u think @youngguru763 since the big homie asked?
Poke, Tone @trackmasters - Let’s dance for the people!!! For the culture. For the love!!! What say you? What do the people think???? Lmao…. #WhenProducersMattered #PsychologicalWarfare #Hitmen #Nashiem #Ddot #Brooklyn #Queens #ATeamMuchStrongerThanYours @nashiemmyrick @hitmansteviej_1 @iammariowinans @ronlawrence @chucklife365 @dubzworld @richyounglord @hitdent @prestige137
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