Angkor Wat temple in Cambodia
I love Munich post card
I know it’s literally months before the holidays and no one cares but if I hear one more chucklefuck Buzzfeed-era neoliberal call “Baby It’s Cold Outside” a song that “approves of rape culture” as though they’ve decoded the Rosetta Stone I will lose my shit. It’s so clearly sung in a wink-wink nudge-nudge way like how the fuck did this become an annual controversy? The vibe of the song is so obviously the girl being like “oh I really SHOULD get going but I kinda don’t want to… ;)” and the guy being like “I mean, it’s cold outside, no one could blame you for staying over ;)” because the song was written in the late 40s when you had to be all coy n shit about your relationships!!! Stop turning a completely fucking innocent cute as fuck song into some weird pseudointellectual debate because you don’t understand nuance and you watched a funnyordie skit about it once holy FUCK
May 25, 2020.
Day 2 of 30
It is supposed to be a celebration. It is supposed to be filled with happiness but all that she can think about are the people she has to call. This obligation is new for her and she doesn’t know where to start.
Last night, she didn’t sleep a wink. She laid in bed, her thoughts racing a mile a minute. Should she be polite or say everything that is brewing in her mind? Does she converse like everything is great between them, pretending that she doesn’t have a gaping wound inflicted by their actions?
Around 8, she gets out of bed and puts on her finest dress. She puts on makeup and does her hair, concealing the evidence of last night. She is happy throughout the day, until the moment that she has to call them. All three of them, one by one, without any breaks.
It starts with a greeting for this holiday. The first thing they ask is to turn on the video. Her stomach starts to turn and she feels nauseous. She did not want to see their face as there is no way that she could hide the rage and hurt in her eyes. She presses the camera button, letting their faces fill her screen.
She wants to scream in pain because just the look in their eyes sends a searing flash of pain in her wound. They look genuinely excited to see her, as if nothing happened. They talk to her normally and she gives two word answers but inside she is screeching.
“Why are you talking to me like this? Everything is not okay! Why are you pretending as if what you did doesn’t exist anymore? Do you think that you are forgiven? Guess, what? I don’t forgive you. I hate what you did to me and my family. I just can’t get over how you can sleep at night, knowing what you did was wrong. You knew that it was wrong, otherwise you wouldn’t lie about what exactly happened to the rest of the family.”
They ask her at the end if there is anything else she wants to say. The girl smiles and shakes her head, pressing the red button. That smile is a band aid that she slaps on her wound.
She is the one that video calls this person. She starts off with a basic greeting. They seem to not be interested in conversing with her. She is not sure if they are even hearing what she is saying. The girl feels ignored and there is nothing that feels worse.
“We used to be so good together. Why are you doing this? Can four months really do this to a person? Have you changed so much that you don’t even know when your actions are hurting others? Maybe, this is all my fault, for blindly trusting you. Thinking that you are the same person that shared her bag of Lays with me, 14 years ago. Maybe, I should just let you go.”
She tries to keep the conversation going but it is hard when the other person is clearly texting someone else. The girl makes up an excuse about another call and she presses the red button. The girl just slaps on another band aid and hoping that two could hold the gash together.
The last call is a bit weird. The person kept cutting her calls whenever she ringed. The girl was utterly confused and was unsure of what to do. She waited until the person called and answered immediately. The person was not alone and was surrounded by others.
They couldn’t have a conversation properly and were continuously being interrupted. They spoke with their eyes and what she saw was not good.
“I am so sorry that you have to stay with these people. I hate that you have to be so far away from your family and everything that you know. I hate that I am not there to help you through this and I know that you are suffering.”
The girl told her that they would call some other time. She ended the call and suddenly her problems seemed so trivial compared to this person’s. Her gushing wound was still there but the bleeding had slowed. The eyes of this person were like a soothing gel that provided temporary relief.
Orologio restaurant in Taormina, Sicily, Italy
credit: Marnie Hawson
Make art, not war! ❤️ 🌱
If Americans could eat fireworks, they would
Visuals for the new single TOAST OF PARIS From easy greens upcoming debut beat tape: EA$Y THE TAPE
Christmas Tide 🎅
I love Köln bag
When a prank goes wrong
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I love Cassis post card