oh ho ho this holsom scene is so goddamn cute you guys aren’t fucking ready
oh ho ho this holsom scene is so goddamn cute you guys aren’t fucking ready
writing the first kind of holsom scene in my fic and i’m 50k words in and still very much fleshing out the jackholtz part of this story so it’s gonna be a slow burn you guys ;))))
the state of being alive || 17k words || T || written for @omgcpbigbang2021!
Justin has a love-hate relationship with the piano they find in the park.
On one hand, it makes Holster happy to play it. And when Holster’s happy, Justin’s happy.
On the other hand, it’s maybe causing Justin to fall a little bit in love with him.
Ruminations on art and change and falling in love with your best friend 💖
‼️ With a fantastic video playlist by @omg-whiskey ‼️
(photo credits below the read more)
Boston Common in fall, originally posted to Flickr by chase_elliott x, licensed for use under Creative Commons x
“Being Alive,” Stephen Sondheim
“O You Whom I Often and Silently Come,” Walt Whitman
Map of 1926 proposal for Boston rapid transit lines, public domain x
Jaymar 25-key Toy Upright Piano, licensed for use under Creative Commons x
“Do Friends Fall in Love?” Rachael & Vilray
i’m at 40k words and i have so much left to write in my fic, the timeline’s not even a quarter over
i think that when i finish it, i’ll post it in chapters, probably one a day or every few days, but they’ll be long chapters, like 10k words
i don’t want to post until i’m done writing it, though, because i don’t want it to end up being a wip that i don’t finish and i don’t want to let you guys down and not end the story
i have so much left to write, so much to flesh out, scenes to add so that things don’t come out of nowhere and to understand the characters better
fuck shit goddamnit it’s already 8 pm so if i post my smh spider-man concepts nobody would see it ARGHHHH
stay tuned for tmrw for that and new commission prices i guess!!
a reoccurring thing that’s been happening ever since i got my hands on huddle volume 1 … time to collect more to continue the pattern!
i’ve been listening to music while writing, and i write down the lyrics that i could use as a fic title or as chapter titles
it’s like you almost have a lust for making something of me (tummy by tamino)
i love you so much these days, it’s true (to binge by gorillaz)
quiet thoughts and quiet dreams, quiet walks by quiet streams (corcovado by stan getz and joão gilberto)
It may not be fast, but I love having an older bike. I mean I got “the wave” from someone in an old vw bus today and it made my day.
Rans: But you don’t get it, how could someone so perfect ever want me? When he could have anyone, what chance do I have?
Lardo: Rans. He’s literally eating his burrito sideways.
ransom to holster
Holster looks at him sideways and it’s the slope of his shoulders and that sad slump to his mouth that shows he’s — miserable, miserable’s the only word for it, misery’s hanging low in the air between them. Rans wants to touch his knee, to bridge this distance somehow, to shake off this crushing hurt in his chest. One of them’s gonna say something supremely stupid if this silence carries on much longer.
“I think,” Holster starts, then stops. He shakes his head and meets Rans’s eyes before looking away. “If we started over, I think I’d love you better this time.”
Rans can’t stand him for saying that. This would be so much easier if Holster hated him; but he didn’t say it hopefully, he didn’t say it like he wanted a second chance at this, he didn’t say it like he blamed him, but like he needed to say it in order to live with himself. That’s worse somehow.
“I don’t know what to do with that,” Rans says, and Holster smiles in a self-deprecating sort of way. “Don’t give me that, you know what I’m saying — don’t tell me you really wanna do this again when we’d be halfway across the country from each other.”
”Do you want to?”
Rans raises his hands. “That’s not what I said.”
”I know.“ Holster’s gaze is so steady. “Do you want to?”
And this, here — this has always been the best and worst thing about dating Holster, this ability to see right through to the right questions. Rans can’t lie to him. Holster knows that.
“Don’t make me answer that,” he says. “Not when it can’t work out. You already know what I want.”
“Can’t you see that that’s why I’m asking?” Holster’s laughing a little the way he does when he’s exasperated and god, Rans’s heart is breaking, Rans wants to push him away and pull him closer, Rans wants— “I don’t know, you haven’t told me.”
”I want you!”
Fuck. Holster’s lips part. Misery, misery.
Rans sighs and rubs his face and says, “It’s you, Holtzy. I — say something, please?”
”Why wouldn’t you just tell me?” Holster sits up, leans in, hovers and then touches Rans’s knee like he’s not sure he’s allowed to.
“I thought,” Rans says, “it’d make it easier for you to let me go.”
“But I don’t want that.”
Stubborn motherfucker. “Holster—”
“Nah, my turn.” Holster lightly, lightly traces a circle over Rans’s skin, glancing up at him, a looseness to his posture. Rans nearly sweeps his thumb across his cheek before remembering what they’re doing. “You’ve been pushing me away. I know you’re leaving. I know you love me. I know that you know that I love you back. I don’t get why you thought this was the best way to do this, but hey, stress makes people so weird shit. So. If we’re doing this, you gotta love me better this time. And I’ll love you better this time. Okay?”
And oh, Rans cannot stand him. He smiles a little despite himself. Holster grins back.
”Okay,” he says. “I’ll love you better, I’ll — fuck, I didn’t wanna let you go. Are you sure about this?”
Holster says, “Surer than anything.” He says, “I’m gonna kiss you now, if that’s alright.”
“Alright,” Rans says, pulling Holster into his lap, and he does.
Holster hums. He tastes like mint and he feels like something inevitable and god when he frames Rans’s face, when he kisses him again and again and again, it’s like he’s saying you’re an idiot I love you don’t do this to me again okay you’d better not do this to me again. Rans hopes he gets what he’s saying back. He whispers it in his ear just in case. Holster holds him tighter and whispers I know, love. It’s okay. I know.
Jack & Bitty’s couple name should be Zimbits
jack who doesn’t like holster because holster doesn’t like tater because of how much ransom likes tater >>>>
what i wrote for the beginning of my jackholtz to holsom fic. i really want it to be a looong fic with character studies and it’s definitely an exercise in writing because i didn’t think i wanted to write/was just a little bit decent at it, but i really want to try to make this good and i’d like to try actually writing the whole thing.
Jack Zimmermann is a lippy motherfucker. Really, he never goddamn stops telling Holster what exactly he’s doing wrong, brutally honestly, with no remorse.
Weird, because outside of Faber, when’s he not on the ice or in the locker room, he shuts his mouth and retreats and buries his head in whatever period-accurate historical fiction he’s currently reading. Holster wonders why he knows this, since Jack just doesn’t talk to anyone outside of the arena. Except Shitty. And those two always look like they’re conspiring together.
Jack’s constantly nipping Holster in the bud, shitting on the entire team, scowling, bringing up failed plays, looking to the coaches for validation. Shouldn’t his number one concern, Holster considers, be team chemistry? Getting along so that the team actually wants to play hockey? Holster’s not at Samwell for a prestigious career in stickhandling, he’s here because hockey is supposed to be fun and he needs a scholarship. College is so expensive, fuck.
“Should’ve studied in Canada, bro,” Ransom shoots out.
“You should have studied in Canada, you… Canadian.”
Ransom throws him an absolutely unimpressed look from his bed.
Holster’s mad. And he doesn’t have much vocabulary when he’s mad. It’s just that… fucking Jack Zimmermann. Fucking celebrity. Does he get off on telling others how shit they are?
They’re in their dorm room. They would have been in the library if Ransom hadn’t taken a step inside and declared that it smelled like balls in there and that the vibes were off.
Holster doesn’t always get Ransom’s thought process, but he likes Ransom enough to the point where he’ll follow him around, like hey, if Ransom says the vibes are off, the vibes are off. Holster’s not about to argue with that. Besides, their dorm room’s fine for studying and staring at a shitty computer screen. Except that there’s only a single chair and desk. Which Holster is hogging right now.
“Thank God for this scholarship, bro. I never would have come here without it. Would have just played hockey on the weekends while hustling at U of T or something. Tuition there’s more expensive than other unis, but it’s not American college mad expensive, you know?”
Holster’s trying to figure out what the hell is wrong with the sentence he’s just written on his Hayek’s theory essay. Is there an apostrophe missing? Something’s off. Did he spell ‘corectly’ correctly?
“You and your socialist agenda universities. Can get an education without breaking the bank. Bunch of communists.”
“Yeah, we’re such communists for offering an education that doesn’t come paired with eventual homelessness.”
Ransom’s also focused on his bio textbook, but he’s smiling as he skims over the lines and diagrams.
okayyy i think i have a really interesting setup for a “jackholtz and then eventual holsom” fic actually
just read we’ve got one thing in common (it’s this tongue of mine) (jackholtz fic by ao3 user foxfireflamequeen) and i ABSOLUTELY LOVED it and it was kind of weird because this whole time i’ve been really into holsom and i feel like they’re endgame but jackholtz is so intriguing and was so beautifully written in this fic
i’m wondering if i should write some jackholtz, and the pre-canon setting of this fic is really interesting to me hmmmmm. maybe it could be a fic that starts before canon, and for the moment ransom and holster are just best friends and platonic soulmates, and jack’s just trying to get over parse so for now jack and holster just work, but then bitty shows up in jack’s third year and in holster’s second year, so jack’s attention starts being elsewhere and holster starts falling for ransom, or maybe ransom is getting jealous of this thing holster and jack have and it takes holster a while to realize it’s because ransom wants that with him???
stuff to think about
read it here: aim underneath the crossbar, dumbass
[“So, yeah, we’ve made out before, but we were always drunk, and it was always… it was never meaningful, and it was always messy and just, just… funny, I guess. Or that’s what it was at first, or just for Ransom. I don’t know. Despite how well I know him, this is the one area where I can’t decode how he feels. And it’s not like we’re talking about it.”
Jack turns back around, frowning. “What do you mean? Aren’t you… having sex with him?”
“It’s… it’s complicated.” Holster suddenly feels like he’s getting dizzy, and he needs to sit down again.]
OR Ransom and Holster start doing more than making out when they're drunk and Holster can't deal with his emotions.
you can read the full tags on ao3, but i’m really happy and satisfied with this fic and i hope you like it too!