My work best friend knows I’m planning on transferring to a different department but is under the impression I’m transferring to the grocery department since I was considering that (and it pays $18 an hour) and I haven’t told them yet that I’m actually planning on transferring to a different department because they’re going to want to know why I took a lower paying job and I don’t want to just be like “uhhhh... cute boy?”

the confidence when i tell someone "yeah just talk to [colleague] they'll do it/answer the question/help you!!" is inversely proportional to how confident i feel actually talking to that colleague

is it cringe to say it clicked for real that i think im genderless cause i was thinking how nights is genderless and how cool that is 😶

Dang now I'm gonna wanna work on my Beetlejuice character a little bit... he's like, the main self insert I have that's literally just for a found family type thing and that makes me happy!! I really should work on him more

I can't remember if I ever actually talked about him here so like in case you're interested... (since this is a kind of angsty character, TW this time for death, suicide, self harm, etc.)

I talk about my self inserts' lore in the third person a lot just because it's like, a story that didn't actually happen to me, but they do still represent/are me. I'm just adding this disclaimer 'cause in this one my name is Echo but I do talk about him in third person

He's a ghost, he was about fourteen when he died

He... jumped out of a moving car... because it was just kind of a horrible random impulse, the details are shady, and he was able to get out of civil service

Beetlejuice was initially very annoyed by this (back when he was Juno's assistant), thus they have a strained relationship and they bicker a lot

Beej calls him by the nickname Roadkill

He generally haunts the highway he died on, sometimes going into passing cars if he's bored, it's like his version of television

But then he meets Lydia this way - startles her at first because she sees him, which then in turn startles him (that's never happened to him before) and he leaves

Long story short once Lydia meets/befriends the Maitlands she realizes the random apparition that suddenly appeared in the car must've been a ghost, and she goes back to talk to him, and ends up inviting him to live with them and that's how he ends up staying there

The Maitlands become like his adoptive parents!!

So like my version is kinda a mixture/my own adaptation, so Beetlejuice is kinda more like the cartoon version where he and Lydia eventually become friends, and he's still mischievous and causes trouble for the Deetzes of course but he's also happy because he's less alone, because he has Lydia (NOT in a shippy way, they are only friends)

Echo hates Beetlejuice because he's annoying and because of Beej previously being an asshole, even though now Beej doesn't care as much about the civil service workaround he's still kind of a jerk, however Echo tries to tolerate him just because he knows that he's Lydia's friend

So... this to me is where it gets angsty.. so look away if you want? Echo.... really struggles with denial. He won't admit to himself that what he did was commit suicide. It's part of why he hates Beetlejuice so much, because Beetlejuice knows the truth and is constantly reminding him of it

Echo had a little brother, he was asleep next to him in the car on the day Echo died. Echo misses him immensely and can never see him again, which is very painful for him. He has no idea how his family is faring or what kind of pain he caused them, which is part of what he has to learn to accept - that he probably hurt them a great deal and that he can never make amends for that

I imagine this is part of why he becomes so close with Lydia, she's like a little sister

So a big important part of the arc I'm going for here is Echo having to accept a lot of harsh truths and move on, and it's not easy for him, but it helps to have Lydia and the Maitlands by his side supporting him and helping him

The role Beetlejuice plays in his story is more the anti-hero kind of, than the villain. In the end Beetlejuice is the one that forces Echo to admit what he's done, which sounds more like a very close friend than an enemy, but of course he's definitely a bit of an asshole about it so...

My concepts for this self insert were to kind of confront some of my suicidal ideation from when I was younger that I never really resolved, I just kinda buried it. Echo has to face the fact that he's responsible for his life ending, and he's responsible for the suffering that caused. He can't see his brother again, he can't see his family again, and he can't apologise. But it's not all angst even if it seems that way, because while learning to accept these things and live (well, metaphorically) with them, he's also found people who care about him, the Maitlands and Lydia. I imagine when he is able to accept these hard truths he even becomes actual friends with Beetlejuice. So... yeah. I know this is all pretty dark and stuff but this is actually one of my favorite of my lores, because it feels... like I'm resolving those feelings I never dealt with, y'know? It feels therapeutic.

i feel like people take the whole ‘wwx was super annoying towards lwj as a teenager’ and just run with it, forgetting about how it also comes with the ‘but only because lwj otherwise refuses to give him attention’. 

While InoAoi is something almost funny for how it was tacked on at the end in one very short interaction, what I like about it is that Inosuke is so taken in and surprised by Aoi's kindness.

He's gotten the howa-howa fluffy feels when Tanjiro and the Tempura Lady show him something he never grew up with enough of, and we know that Inosuke craves kindness so much that he'll be immediately kind and tame around those who offer it to him, whether it's human Nezuko or an old man reading him poetry. By the end of the series, Inosuke has had an opportunity to make many friends whom he cares very deeply about, but what surprises him out of all these nice howa-howa people, Aoi has shown special consideration of him by preparing extra food especially for him, an extremely thoughtful gesture. He's so unaccustomed to being treated as someone special (as opposed to, more simply, obeyed and respected like the big boss he is) that he freezes up as the blood rushes to his face. He's deeply touched, and it'll probably be a little gesture that he treasures forever.

But, even if he does become completely self-aware of taking a special interest in her and perhaps deciding on the spot that she is his future mate, if you were to ask him what made him suddenly infatuated with her, he'd unabashedly answer that "she's actually really strong."

My brother is flexing on the single people rn

Me, trying to write about the importance of communication and asking for help in Molotow because that’s a valuable soft skill to have ergo it’s important to talk about and teach about etc, squinting around being told I need to be euthanized because I’m an Adult In A Fandom Space and apparently this is Children of the Corn-

The Hercai writers really just said everyone but Yaren gets a redemption arc, huh?

Everything seems fine, until it isn't!

okay but like, as a politician, jin ling is so interesting, because right now he’s a kid, right? either 14 or 16? 17? years old, well -- that’s still young, BUT look at his guardians.

jiang cheng’s reputation is primarily ‘scary man! don’t piss him off!’ but given the fact he’s been raised to be a sect leader, i don’t believe he has no political skills other than flash zidian and hope it intimidates people into submission. i’m choosing to believe yunmeng jiang flourished, and not just because of the jin’s support.

next, jin guangyao -- currently the big bad of the week™, and we didn’t get much (if any) info about the way he worked as a sect leader and chief cultivator, but i’m gonna say: incredible observation skills, amazing memory (we have enough superpowers in this show, so i prefer the interpretation that rather than being born with eidetic memory, he simply taught himself to notice and remember all the details about people, the way a servant has to do if they want to be appreciated and survive), the ability to placate people and negotiate with them; perhaps even that type of a person who can sell someone on their idea and make them think they came up with it in the first place, or assure them that they can gain profits from it, even if.... not really.

because i’m a firm believer in uncle-educator lan xichen -- uncle-educator lan xichen. even if lxc went into seclusion (*hoarsely* or did he, cql?) basically at the same time as jin rulan became the sect leader, i’m sure there have been some lessons little jin ling got from him -- the knowledge and experience on this man, okay? lxc was probably yet another person after jgy who valued patience and analyzing the situation before acting, as well as importance of at least appearing composed and friendly towards people you’re talking to. also, he seems like this kind of uncle who probably gifts you books that will be of use much later on, even if right now you’d rather want a new toy or a practice sword.

and last but not least, wei wuxian, who might not be a sect leader, but definitely has a his own look on people and society and can offer another perspective.

like, i’m not that interested in the junior generation, tbh, i don’t particularly ship them much on my own, although if there’s a really good fic about them, i sure won’t skip on it. but while the, uh, genre dictates jin ling to remain at least a little bit of his recognizable tsundere self, even as a sect leader, i find him really fascinating because he doesn’t have to. he’s had, and still has, stable support and the potential to grow without fearing that a single bad move on his part will bring destruction upon his sect. of course, it’s not like he’s in an easy situation either -- the smaller sects probably expect him to denounce his beloved uncle Or Else We’ll Think You’re Like Him, i don’t know how the inner structures of jinlintai people look like, but it can’t be all pleasant there either -- but he’s not alone! he can grow! he can turn out to be an amazing sect leader later on and honestly right now i’m kind of !!!!! about it

Take your time

Every once in a while daily. every day I feel guilty for not collecting more limes or not building on my relationships with the gods more, not diving deeper to expand my knowledge. But most of all I feel immensely guilty for taking so long.

But then I remember that the people whose meticulously written research papers/books I've been reading and using in my private practice have been studying these gods for literally decades before writing said papers/books.

These people have dedicated their entire lives to their work and yet there is still more to learn. For example, a comprehensive book on Apollo I just finished reading was written by Fritz Graf and published in 2009. Fritz got his first degree back in 1968. He has been studying Classics, Greece, and by extension, Apollo, since 1968 and didn't publish a book on the subject until 2009.

And since we're all gay here and cannot do math myself included as I am using a calculator that's 41 years of study, and this is after he got his first degree, which was a masters. So, I'm even not including the years spent in university to get that degree, or even the years he spent in self study beforehand. 

This is just one example, and it’s honestly the norm. I’ve seen research papers with forewords that mention over fifty years of study on a single topic. I’ve read multiple papers that had to be co-authored by another writer because the one who initially began the research died of old age. And even then it still took years to finish.

My point is, it takes time, you have time. Don't look at your religion, the research the comes with it, and connecting with the gods as something you have to do all at once. Look at it as a secondary purpose in your life, a passion to carry you through for years to come.  Don't rush it. You'll learn, you'll get there. Enjoy the journey!!!

Ya'll it's finally done!!

After 5 years of having no updates, I finally finished the next chapter of Double Shot of Heaven and had it edited by the beautiful @akitokihojo. Thank you to @inukag-week for getting the creative juices flowing again! I can't wait to post it!

And I'm already almost done with chapter 3! I see a completed story in my near future 👀

Can't wait for InuKag Week, which starts on June 7th!!

wild that singers record themselves singing and don’t delete that shit immediately like the rest of us

I'm too stubborn to take it down but God is it making us mad lmao

prob unpopular opinion but i think bugsnax is one of those games where, as much as i love the cast, i would not want them to return in a possible sequel (except maybe as cameos) because they’ve been through so much and had so much character growth that they don’t deserve to have to go through another huge fucked-up Plot Event. great happy endings going to shit in sequels is kind of frustrating to watch sometimes.