In the darkness the girl lived, hoping the shadows would erase her shape. That was the only way she survived, for she was too scared to see what wasn’t hidden. But not even the night brought her sleep, not even the blindness brought her comfort. Even though she knew nothing stayed the same, she told herself it would. With that illusion of safety, she rested.
But it was in one of those endless nights, with only her and her headaches, that she saw him. Clear and bright, he spoke to her. Under the spell of his deep and soothing voice she fell in love. Red was his desire, her blood, and his color.
He taught her to see in shades of grey, for even when she thought impossible, there were depths in oblivion. There were shadows lighter and others darker, which made it possible for her to move around and explore her den like never before. This exciting new knowledge got her out of bed, but as she proceeded to naively reach for the door to the outside world, she collapsed. No longer was she aware of what was out there, and the headache that took her was unforgivably stronger.
She lied catatonic, blinking rapidly at the lights that stroke her. He sensed her despair, searched, found, and came for her. By singing a lullaby he put her in a coma, and she gave in, with no strength to resist. Shapeless as he was, he commanded her anesthetized body to crawl to where she came from. She closed her eyes in a smile, feeling the comfort from his smell, which guided her instincts.
When she woke up again, she found herself at her home. He was there beside her, only waiting for her to reawaken. Taking but a minute to recollect from what just happened, she cried from her pain, remembering how cruel and uninviting the world was. Whispering to her ear, he said, I know. He then embraced her, and from that she finally understood. Her only home was with him. He welcomed her, accepted her, and tried to help her. No one else did that. There was no one else but him.
Together they stayed in her dark hole, longer than she remembered her existence to be. Time was unknown to her, a constant she had no memory of. Countless nights they spent together, becoming one. That was his wish, the proof of his love. And that was all she longed for, to be closer to her only one. The possibility of sharing his essence made her heart race, in a point that she thought possible to be able to love herself once more.
As they merged, the girl noticed her hands and fingers became two dimensional, like him. Her movement changed along with her shape. She noticed that she got slimmer, flexible as a puddle, but there was barely no dominance or control for smaller, marginal, movements. She tried moving her thumb, without success. She did it again, with all the force she had left, unable to accept defeat. Her bony hand cracked, and from it came the only color that she recognized. His own. Confused, she looked at him, exasperated. He looked at her undisturbed. Hush. When we are together, you won’t feel it. This won’t matter.
With every shift she lost a part of herself. No longer was she able to keep track of her breaths. Her heart rate was still, quiet. Almost unnoticeable. Seasons changed, but no difference in light was observed trespassing through her curtains. No transpiration or drops of sweat emerged in her skin. The ability to react was removed from her existence.
Closing her eyes and opening them appeared equal. No smell contaminated her nostrils. No music, no birdsong, and no conversation could be detected. All she could her was his breath. How do you feel?
She formulated an answer, but no sound came out from her lips.
Who are you?
She thought it, she heard it, she said it.