#humor Tumblr posts

  • Sometimes, when your wife shows you a good bat picture, you have to compare it to Jesus.

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    Hey y'all…IT’S MY BIRTHDAY!🤗🎉🎈🎁🎂 so here’s a sweet ass picture of me as a robot with a sick mustache and boxing gloves punching the shit out of Father Time. Fuck that guy🤜💥👴⏳

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    Check out my linktree in my bio for my other social media goodness!

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    www.berrypunnycomics.com

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  • Se bebe? 👀
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    #drink #bebida #drunk #skolbeatsgt #smirnoff #tiktok #tiktoker #dublagem #humor #comedia #youtuber #youtube #tiktokbr #comediabrasileira
    https://www.instagram.com/p/CCcOFPxgH8u/?igshid=82qid59q0nzg

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  • When the Moon Hits Your Eye

    By Goldberry

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    Originally posted by frailuta

    Rated K+

    Romance and Humor

    2k words and 1 chapter

    Complete!

    Tenten has plans for Valentine’s Day. Unfortunately, so does everyone else.

    Just a cute fluff

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  • Tumblr mobile,even though I’ve already done it 4256 times before:

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    #this website is free #tumblr memes#humor #i am once again asking
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  • Mini Fanfic #475: Two Guys and the Farm Boi (RWBY)

    12:00 p.m. at Vauco

    Oscar: (Looks Around his Surroundings in the City of Vauco) This place is even more lively than I thought it would be…..

    ???: Yo! Lil’ Oscar!!

    Oscar: (Turns and See Two Familiar Faces Making their Way Towards Him) Oh. Mr. Wukong and Mr. Vasilias. Good Afternoon.

    Neptune: (Chuckles Lightly) C'mon, man. Mr. Wukong and Vasilias are our old men’s names.

    Sun: (Ruffles the top of Oscar’s Hair with a Bright Smile on his Face) He’s right, kiddo. Just Sun and Neptune are fine with us.

    Oscar: (Chuckles Lightly from the Hair Ruffling) R-Right. Sorry about that. I’m always like when I with people.

    Sun: It’s all good. I take your going solo today?

    Oscar: Yeah…..The gang already left to another mission they were mission assigned to an hour ago. They’re worried about my safety as usual so they wanted me to stay here. Are you guys going out on a mission too?

    Neptune: Nah. We already finished ours yesterday.

    Sun: Neptune and I are heading to the beach. You wanna come with?

    Oscar: (Genuinely Surprised) Wait. You really want me to come with you guys? I-I mean, I don’t wanna be an bother or anything…..

    Neptune: (Smiles Brightly) Of course we want you to come with us. It’s a perfectly good chance for us to get to know each more, you know?

    Sun: (Smiles Softly) And you’re definitely not a bother to any of us. You’re one of our pals. (Ruffles the top of Oscar’s Hair) And any friends of Blake is a friend of ours.

    Oscar: (Smiles a Little) Well….if that’s really what you guys want, then count me in.

    Sun: (Pumped his Fist up in the Air) Alright! Operation: Three Bros at the Beach is Go!

    Neptune: Yeah!- Wait. (Turns to Oscar) Shouldn’t you tell the others that you’ll be gone all day first?

    Oscar: I wouldn’t be so worried about that. I already written a note back in the hotel room, saying I’ll be back and everything. Plus, I already texted Ruby earlier just in case.

    Sun: (Shrugged) Good enough for us. Now let’s hit the beach!!

    ……………………………………………….

    Neptune: (‘Took a Deep Breath’) Okay……Here goes nothing…..

    Neptune slowly but surely begins to trying setting his foot down on a very small wave of water…..only for the larger wave to appear

    Neptune: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! (Immediately Runs Away from the Waves) NOT WORTH IT!!! NOT WORTH IT!!! NOT FRICKIN’ WORTH IT!!!!!

    Oscar: (Stares at the Whole Scene in Complete Disbelief) So….. He’s afraid of water….

    Sun: (Already Facepalms in Embarrassment) Yep.

    Oscar: But…..His name is literally Neptune.

    Sun: ('Sigh’) Yeah…..I know……

    ………………………………………….

    Oscar: (Raised an Eyebrow in Confusion) You wanna do what now?

    Sun: (Smiles Brightly) Set you up on a date, my guy.

    Neptune: You technically are teenager after all. Nothing’s wrong with meeting the ladies your own age.

    Oscar: That is true and all, buuuuut….I think I’m gonna pass on the offer.

    Sun: Seriously? How come?

    Oscar: Well….To tell you guys the truth, I…(Starts to Blush a Little) Kinda already got a girlfriend…..

    Neptune: (Eyes Widened in Shocked) NO WAY!! For real?!

    Sun: Dude! Congratulations! Who’s the lucky lady?

    Neptune: If you don’t mind us asking, of course

    Oscar: W-Well….T-The girl I’m…. currently dating now is…..(Took A Deep Breath Before Speaking Again) Ruby.

    'Record Suddenly Scratch’

    Neptune: (Let his own Drink Slip off from his Hands While Being Shocked by Oscar’s Answer) …………

    Sun: (Eyes Widened in Complete Surprised) ……………Ruby. As in Ruby Rose.

    Oscar: Yes.

    Neptune: As in the girl with the red, hoodie like cape thing.

    Oscar: Yes……

    Sun: As in the girl with a giant scythe, gun hybrid for a weapon.

    Oscar: (Facepalms While Sighing in Embarrassment) Yes…………

    Neptune: As in the same girl who likes eating chocolate chip-

    Oscar: My god, you guys, yes! It’s Ruby. As in Ruby Rose. The same Ruby with the red hoodie cape, a red scythe for a weapon, the one who loves cookie, and the leader of her own team, with a 'W’ on it’s own name. That’s the Ruby I know and love!!

    'Silence’

    Oscar: (Blushes in Bright Red) S-Sorry! I…. Didn’t mean to yell like that…. Really didn’t even know what went over me there……

    Sun: Dude…………..(Smiles Brightly) That is so awesome!!

    Neptune: (Smiles Brightly as Begins to Ruffles Oscar’s Hair) Yeah, Lil’ man! ('Sniff’) You’re already making us proud here……

    Oscar: (Sighs Heavily in Defeat Before Slowly Smiling a Little) Thanks……You guys. Really.

    …………………………………………………

    Neptune: (Stilling Running Around in Fear) AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

    Oscar: Okay, Seriously. Should we try to calm him down or……..

    Sun: Nah. He’ll tire himself out…… Eventually……

    ……………………………………………

    Oscar: Okay. I think that’s enough about me in this conversation….What about you guys? Are either of you dating anyone?

    Sun: Nope. We’re still single.

    Neptune: (Smirks Confidently) Not to brag for anything, buuuuut….I usually get all the digits from every girl we see and meet.

    Sun: ('Heh’) Yeah right. I bet all of them gave you fake numbers after your so called 'Neptune Charm’ goes haywire.

    Neptune: (Glares at Sun) Hey! My charms never gone haywire!

    Sun: (Raised an Eyebrow) Oh really? Then name me one girl you actually got a real number from.

    Neptune: (Was About to Give Sun a Definitive Answer…….Only to Realize He Really Couldn’t Think of Anything and Begins to Look Away, Pouting) W-Whatever!

    Sun: Uh-Huh. (Turns back to Oscar) Now, as what I was still say, Mr Failed Ladies’ Man over there and I are still in Singles-Ville. I did had a crush on a girl once……

    Oscar: Really? Did it work out between you two?

    Sun: Eh. Not really. I realized sooner or later that the girl wasn’t really into me like that. She….Already had eyes on someone else…..

    Neptune: (Frowns for his Best Friend) Dude……

    Oscar: (Frowns as Well) I’m sorry, Sun……

    Sun: (Chuckles Lightly) No need to worry about me, you guys. I’m still with with the girl and everything, I’m just not the one she’s looking for romantically. I promise you there’s no hard feelings between any of us.

    Neptune: (Place his Arm Around Sun in a Supportive Matter) Well…..if you’re really okay, bro, then that’s good enough for us.

    Oscar: Yeah. A-And I’m sure you’ll find someone for you eventually. So try not to give up hope yet, okay?

    Sun: (Smiles Brightly) You got it! Thanks, guys.

    …………………………………………..

    Illa: (Makes her way to Sun and Oscar While Carrying an Unconscious Neptune) I finally calmed Neptune down……

    Sun: Tased him?

    Illa: Yep.

    Sun: (Turns to Oscar with a Smile) Oscar, I like to introduce you to our new friend, Illa.

    Illa: (Smiles Softly to Oscar) Hello.

    Oscar: (Smiles Softly as Well) Hey.

    ……………………………………….

    Oscar: So……there you have it. Professor Ozpin isn’t really dead. He’s…..Been inside my self-conscious this entire time. Hence the reason why I decided to travel with the gang and became a wizard in training. (Sips on his Drink)

    Sun: (Shocked in Awe) Woah……..

    Neptune: That’s…….Pretty sick, kiddo.

    Sun: But in good way!

    Neptune: Yeah!

    Oscar: (Very Surprised by Sun and Neptune’s Optimistic Behavior) Wait. You….. really mean that?

    Sun: Definitely.

    Oscar: So…… Neither of you guys are mad at me? Or not even try to let your frustrations out on me or anything?

    Sun: (Frowns Sadly in Surprised) What? Buddy, no. We wouldn’t do that to you.

    Neptune: (Frowns as Well) Yeah. Why would you think we would- (Eyes Widened Once Realize Something) Oh…… I’m….. guessing the everyone didn’t take it too well once they found out the whole news, huh?

    Oscar: ('Sigh Heavily’) Yeah…….. Let’s just say that the past few months and almost year of my quest wasn’t anywhere of being a happy time….I got punched in the face, shoved into a wall, get yelled at on some occasion, and I was even shot at one point….. All because of everything that deals with Oz and Salem’s past together. It’s also because of their stupid truth issues, but that’s beside the point.

    Neptune: Ah….Dude……

    Sun: I’m sorry, man…….

    Oscar: It’s alright, you guys. I just……('Sigh’) Sometimes, I wish everyone in the entire world would stop seeing me as Oz, his host, a meat shield or whatever. And I know that Ruby and the others already love me for who I am and all, but even that doesn’t stop everyone else to think otherwise. Like they’re expecting me to have all the answers when I don’t even know a damn thing anymore. It’s just gets….. really tiring, you know?

    Sun: Hey, man…….(Smiles Reassuringly) We totally get where you’re coming from in all of this.

    Neptune: (Smiles Reassuringly as Well) Yeah, man. I mean, granted, we can’t entirely relate with the whole wizard-professor being inside your head or anything, but we do get what it feels like to being put on too much pressure and expectations from some people.

    Sun: You don’t need to keep worrying about what other people think about think about, Oscar. Because to me, Neptune, and all of our other friends, you are definitely your own person. And if anyone thinks otherwise, then that’s all on them. They’ll never to see how cool and amazing you really are to us.

    Oscar: (Begins to Smile Sincerely as he Wipe a Tear off his Eye) You guys, I……Thank you. Thank you so much.

    Later that Mid Evening………

    Oscar: (Happily Walking Alongside Sun and Neptune) Thanks again for inviting me to the beach with you guys. I had a really great time today.

    Sun: (Smiles Brightly) Not a problem at all, Lil’ Bro. Thanks for hanging out with us.

    Neptune: (Smiles Brightly as Well) Yeah, man. You’re a pretty cool kid, you know that?

    Oscar: (Rubbing the Back of his Head Back and Forth While Blushing a Little) Thanks. You guys are pretty cool too.

    ???: (From a Distance) OSSSSSSSCCCCARRRRRR!!!!!!!

    Neptune: (Noticed a Group of Very Familiar People Making Their Way to From a Distance) Wait……Is that……

    Sun: Could it be……

    Oscar: (Eyes Widened in Fear) Not again………

    And just like that, Oscar immediately gets hugged tackled by none other than Nora Valkyrie and the entire JNPR Team.

    Oscar: (Already in a Group Hug) Guys! Come on! Again?!

    Nora: (In Tears While Hugging her Baby Tight) Oscar Everlynn Pines!! Where the heck have you been young man?!

    Jaune: Do you have any idea how much you made us worried today, mister?!!

    Ren: (Gives Oscar a Fatherly Glare) You made me cry…..

    Nora: You made your dad cry today, Oscar!!

    Oscar: ('Sighs in Embarrassment’) Didn’t any of you read the note I wrote back in the hotel room?

    Pyrrha: (Blush a Little) We….. Didn’t had the time to go back to the hotel and look. (Frowns Worryingly) Still, you should’ve told us you were going to do something today before we left this morning. (Gives Oscar a Kiss on the Forehead Before Hugging him Again) You had us all so worried.

    Oscar: I know. I’m sorry……

    Sun/Neptune: PYRRHA?!

    Pyrrha: (Turns to see Sun and Neptune Staring at Her with a Very Shock Expression) Oh. (Smiles Brightly) Sun and Neptune. It’s so nice to see you two again. Thank you so much for watching over our baby boy for us.

    Sun: P-P-Pyrrha…..Y-You’re alive!

    Pyrrha: (Giggles Softly) That I am.

    Neptune: B-B-But you were on the news…… During the Fall of-

    Nora: Nooope! Never happened!

    Sun: But-

    Nora: Nope! Everything is just fine! Pyrrha is fine and well again. And nothing bad will ever happen to us again. EVER AGAIN!

    'Silence’

    Oscar: (Facepalms In Complete Embarrassment) I’ll explain everything back at the hotel……..

    Sun: Thanks, bro.

    Bonus

    Ruby: (Gives Oscar an Adorable Smile)

    Oscar: (Very Confused by the Smile) ……What?

    Ruby: (Gives Oscar a Loving Hug) You said you love me!~

    Oscar: (Eyes Widened While Blushing Bright Red) How…….

    Ruby: Blake told me that you told Sun that I’m the girl you love. Is that trueeeeee?~

    Oscar: ………..(Groans in Embarrassment While in Ruby’s Embrace)

    Ruby: (Giggles Softly) Knew it. I’ll take that as a definite yes~ I love you too, Oscar~

    @optimisticfruitcup

    @keyenuta

    @miki-13

    @albion-93

    @maripr

    @ma-lemons

    @littlemisssquiggles

    @rozanime

    @oscarpineprotectionsquad

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  • En esta colección encontrarás fotos de humor graciosas con y sin frases

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  • Among all the machines, the pulley is the most egotistical.

    It’s always at the centre of a tension!

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