Hazbin Hotel x Reader [Songfic - Hotel California by The Eagles]
Dust scattered across the landscape in front of me. The world was a desolate wasteland and I was the only living, breathing person around for miles. A cool breeze picked up and lifted my [h/c] hair away from my face. The smell of colitas drifted towards me.
“That’s odd,” I thought. “I’m the only one around but clearly someone, something, is smoking weed."
I decided to walk towards the smell, just to sate my curiosity and possibly find some semblance of humanity. I walked for about an hour before I saw anything besides the desert around me - up ahead in the distance, I could see a shimmering light. Racing towards the lights, I found a towering building with a sign reading "Hazbin Hotel.”
“Oh thank god, maybe these people can help me and I can rest a little,” I said out loud before knocking on the heavy wooden door.
The door swung open and there she stood, the tallest and most cheerful woman I had ever seen. I kept thinking to myself “God, this could be Heaven or this could be Hell.”
She smiled at me before speaking. “Hello! Welcome to the Happy Hotel! My name is Charlie, come on in.”
I followed her into the foyer of the hotel, the lights dim and the room slightly smokey.
“We just opened up a few days ago so not everything is ready yet,” she said as she led me to the front desk. “Sorry for the mess, I promise we’re getting it cleaned up as fast as we can."
As soon as she spoke about the mess, a young girl zoomed by and grabbed a bagful of trash. "Sorry about that Charlie!” the girl spoke. “This place REALLY needs a woman’s touch.”
I turned to face the girl and stumbled backwards in shock. She had only one eye!
“This can’t possibly be right,” I said under my breath. “Get it together [y/n], you’re losing it.”
Charlie turned to face me, a look of concern forcing her eyebrows to knit together in the middle. “Do you know where you are right now?” she gently questioned me. “What’s your name, sweetheart?”
“My name is [y/n]” I responded with a heavy sigh. “I’m not entirely sure where I am but… and please forgive me for being rude… does this girl have only one eye or am I delusional?”
The girl spoke, “My name is Niffty! It’s lovely to meet you!”
“Okay,” I thought, “this is real and I’m not imagining things. How…why…WHAT is happening here?”
As if able to read my thoughts, Charlie reached out and placed a hand on my shoulder. “You’re not delusional. You’re in Hell, [y/n]. But that’s okay because you just so happen to be in the one spot that may be able to get you out of here and into Heaven!” She beamed at me and ran around the counter to get my information and check me into the hotel.
There were voices down the corridor seemingly discussing a heated game of poker. I tried to ignore them while Charlie got me set up, explained the whole situation, and escorted me to my room.
The rest of the night was quiet. I laid in bed, trying to mull over the facts that I was dead, in Hell, and stuck here until Charlie could work her voodoo magic to get me into Heaven where I clearly belonged. Sleep didn’t come easily and once I finally succumbed to exhaustion, I was unable to dream.
Breakfast was at 9am the next morning and I awoke just in time to get ready and go downstairs to the dining room. Charlie delivered some clean clothes for me overnight and I reminded myself to thank her for her generosity and kindness - that can’t possibly be how everyone here in Hell is so I definitely didn’t want to pass up the opportunity to get in with someone so lovely.
When I looked in the mirror for the first time since arriving here in Hell, I noticed that my appearance was mostly similar to how I looked on Earth. My [h/c] was still the same, my smile still great (albeit with sharper teeth), and my skin hadn’t changed a bit. The only thing that was different were my [e/c] eyes - they had changed to a deep and rich colored purple. My form wasn’t anything too remarkable; my only real demon feature were two short horns atop my head. “Well, at least the demon damage isn’t that crazy,” I thought as I finished getting ready and headed toward the dining room.
Charlie took my hand and led me into the room where several other demons sat around a large dining table.
“Everyone, I’d like to introduce you to our newest guest, [y/n].”
A woman sitting next to Niffty looked up from her waffles and smiled at me. “Nice to meet you! I’m Vaggie, Charlie’s girlfriend."
I smiled back at her and gave a little half-hearted wave.
She continued, "This fella next to me is Husk, that’s Angel Dust, and the guy in the red is Alastor.” Vaggie pointed to each of the gentlemen sitting at the table, none of which really looked up from their meals.
The man Vaggie had pointed out as Alastor turned suddenly and smiled wide at me. I tried not to recoil at his vicious appearance but my emotions had to have been written across my face. He didn’t mention it though.
“It’s an absolute pleasure to meet you, darling. An absolute pleasure.” he said while reaching to grab and shake my hand. His voice was strange, like it was being filtered through vacuum tubes.
I smiled back and shook his hand. “It’s a pleasure meeting you too, Alastor.”
It was about this time that Angel Dust looked up at me. Grinning, he said “Ooohhh aren’t you a sight for sore eyes, sweet cheeks."
Husk chortled but never looked away from his plate.
"I bet you’re going to have all the pretty, pretty boys out here swooning.” Angel dust laughed. “If you’re ever looking for a good time, I’ve got mirrors on my ceiling and pink champagne on ice. Just give me the word,” he said with a wink.
I blushed and looked away, slightly uncomfortable.
Angel Dust laughed again and Husk grumbled something inaudible.
“Ignore him, [y/n]. Let’s get you something to eat and then we can find something for you to do here.” Charlie smiled at me.
I grabbed a plate and immediately dug into my waffles. This was definitely a weird experience but this hotel in Hell didn’t seem too bad. “I could make this work,” I thought to myself, “I’m sure I can check out any time I like, but it’s not like I can ever leave.”