3:47 AM (m) | Kim Taehyung, 8.3k
Pairing(s): Taehyung x Reader
Summary: Unrequited love sucks. But it may have led you to someone else. That someone else being Taehyung. But there’s an issue. You might not be over Yoongi and he might still be hung up on someone else - his long-term girlfriend, or now ex. As you remember the past, you and him began to reflect, what you wanted may not have been as great as you remembered. And now, with all that time together, can things be progressing elsewhere?
Warnings/Tags: RATED M (18+); for language, minor angst (you and Taehyung are still very much heartbroken but there is hope of moving forward - this is a maybe loool); smut (fem-reader; choking; penetrative sex); idol!AU - friends with benefits, maybe lovers). Fluff? Fluff.
There are a couple of flashbacks embedded here - may have gotten a little bit carried away, but oh well 😉
"I have big dreams you know," Yoongi murmured, as if talking to himself. You were both alone, sat in a VIP box at the Gocheok Sky Dome where it gave an unparalleled view of the space. BTS had just completed with Wings Tour and with the additional dates being sold out, Yoongi was on cloud nine. It was empty as the audience had filtered out and the view of the seating was surreal. You remembered Yoongi telling you that it had the capacity for sixteen- thousand people. That’s when you realised that you were far from Daegu and the small auditorium where he would practice, in front of you and his older brother.
Sated and flushed from the concert, Yoongi enjoyed the cool air that met his skin, he had a black hoodie on with a white shirt underneath. You had attended the final date of the tour in Seoul, he was able to give you VIP tickets and you sat with his family, transfixed by the roar of the crowed as they sang each lyric with fervour.
"I know you do,” You smiled, supportive. It was only and upwards trajectory from here, you knew that he’d reach even higher heights and that only made you excited for him. You thought back to when he would let you hear snippets of what he was working on every now and then. Those were the moments that touched you the most, the fact that he was willing to share them and valued your opinion. The silence between you was comfortable, but it was getting to the point of awkwardness. You weren't exactly sure why he asked you stay, you were busy these days, not like him but still. Something at the pit of your stomach told you that there was something more to this meeting than you had anticipated. Yoongi looked down on his nails, absentminded but deep in thought. You had to force yourself to hold back a sigh, it was getting late.
"I'm seeing someone."
Your breath caught in your throat and you looked away quickly, desperate something to quell an upcoming wave of tears. Why are you even affected? It had been months since you saw him, you were daft to think that he hadn’t found someone in that time. Blinking several times, you bit your bottom lip and clenched your jaw. The grip on the chair was so strong that your entire body went rigid.
"You have a way of saying big things so casually," You laughed, trying to hide the tremor in your voice. Keeping your gaze on the numerous seats that filled the floors below, you collected yourself before he noticed. Focusing on yours shoes, they were noticeably scuffed at the front.
Yoongi chuckled softly, sounding completely happy, "You know me."
Those words made your blood ran cold. A shiver went through your body. Yoongi noticed and immediately shrugged off his hoodie, draping it across your shoulders. It was warm, and it smelled like him. You accepted it because that was just something Yoongi would do, it didn’t matter who you were.
"What's she like?" It was an innocent question, not at all telling of the turmoil you felt inside. There was a noticeable pause, then Yoongi let out a small exhale, like the beginnings of a laugh. You knew that that meant he was holding back his excitement, he was probably so happy, he could burst.
"You should meet her. She's - she's so right for me, you'll see. We met a couple of weeks ago, in the middle of the tour... I can't even explain it," he was stumbling over his words. It was as if an apparition of the woman he spoke of stood right in front of him. You looked at Yoongi and noticed how bright his eyes were, how he was enchanted just at the thought. Never mind that he had just performed his heart out in front of thousands of people, he didn’t look exhausted at all. He had a wide smile, goofy and innocent. The sides of his eyes crinkled, like when he was really happy. In that moment, his demeanour was unlike his on-stage presence.
It didn’t take long before the hoodie became useless. Yoongi’s mere statement was enough to shatter any form of symbolism you kept for yourself. You were just cold and he was being gentlemanly, always supportive of because you had known each other forever. And in that moment, you reminded yourself that you would always be his friend first and nothing more than that. You inhaled sharply, staring at the stage where they performed not too long ago, swallowing thickly as you experienced a wave of adrenaline. You wanted to run away, to turn back time, to go back to when you were just sitting in silence. That was better that talking about her, whoever she was.
“I’ve got to meet this woman who’s made you act like this!” You laughed.
It was as if someone else was talking in your stead. Someone who looked like you, talked like you. A proxy. Yoongi chuckled and buried his face in his hands, embarrassed at himself. He threw his arm around you, it was natural, you had been friends for the longest time and you knew that when Yoongi couldn’t express himself, he wanted to hold something, to anchor himself. But this time, you froze at his touch. Noticing immediately, he searched your face and was met with a flicker of hesitation. You gazed at him, his expectant face mixed confusion at your reaction.
“Sorry,” He muttered, still giddy from his confession, untangling himself from you.
“It’s okay, I was just surprised,” You said honestly. Yoongi was already elsewhere, thinking of the woman that made his world turn unexpectedly.
“Anyway, I better get back, do you need a lift home?” He announced, getting up swiftly and dusting himself off. You shook your head.
“I can take the subway.”
“You sure? It’s quite late,” He asked, worried all of the sudden. You let your shoulders sag as you began to lift his hoodie from them. Yoongi shook his head and gave you a side hug.
“Give it to me some other time.”
With that, you walked together, descending down the stairs back to the exit. You heard him humming to himself as he went along as you followed, your hands feeling numb.
“Why don’t you call Yoongi? We should celebrate!”
Your mother was busy plating the food as you father continued to watch the news by your side. The jacket that you wore for was draped on a spare chair after you had finished a gruelling 10 hour shift. Dinner was plated and steaming, it was your first day at work and it did not fail to exhaust you.
“He’s either busy preparing for the tour or doing shows. I can’t just call him last minute like before,” you explained, picking up a spoon so you could have a taste of the soup.
“Well, it’s worth a call.”
“No, it’s okay.”
Halfway through the celebratory cake the doorbell rang. With your parents tucked in bed and your nose buried in some report you were preparing, you didn’t bother to get up thinking it was unruly kids on your apartment floor. They had been doing this thing where they would ring random doorbells and run away immediately. They were lucky that your father was asleep, otherwise they would have been terrified by his thunderous voice.
But as the doorbell rang incessantly, to point of nearly waking up your parents, you had to abandon your efforts of finishing the report to tend to the door. Yoongi stood behind a big bouquet of flowers, his cherry coloured hair peeking from the assorted petals. Suddenly feeling self-conscious in your dishevelled appearance, you noted that he must have travelled straight from a taping.
“Yoongi!” You smiled, taken aback. Receiving the flowers off of his arms, he returned your smile, reaching in for a side hug.
“Congratulations on your first day!” He exclaimed, letting himself in. It was all so normal, he would first unlace his shoes and arrange them neatly. Then he would beeline to the front room, eventually sitting at the kitchen table. Your heart was racing all of the sudden, and you hugged the flowers close, the paper and cellophane crinkling beneath your hold.
Under the glow of the overhead lamps, Yoongi wolfed down some of the leftover food while leafing through the documents on the side. He was intently scanning the pages, as if it was the most interesting thing in the world. You arranged your hair, nervous at his presence. He noticed you standing in front of him, awkward in your own home.
“Why are you acting so shy?” He chuckled, turning his attention to you. He looked happy, his dark red hair suited him. He looked particularly handsome.
“Nothing!” You sat in front of him and helped yourself with the cake. The silence settled as you got lost in your thoughts. It wasn’t until you cleared your plate did Yoongi get up to clear the table.
“Oh, don’t worry about that, you should head home, I’m sure your manager is waiting.”
“Actually yeah, I was just gonna leave, Hye-yeon’s waiting downstairs in the car.” He replied softly, turning sheepish. The feeling of dread descended in the pit of your stomach once again. Yoongi always drew his boundaries clearly with everyone he knew, and you were no exception. Holding your tongue to prevent any further questions from seeping through, you smiled at his genuine happiness.
“Go on then, I can’t believe you kept her waiting!” You exclaimed, holding your breath.
Yoongi blushed. Looking up, he noticed that you were squeezing your thumbs in a fist - something you only did due to stress. But as your eyes met, you released your hands from the imaginary tension and busied yourself with stacking the leftover plates. In an attempt to clear the air, your pushed him gently to the door.
“See yourself out - you shouldn’t keep your girlfriend waiting.”
You turned her back swiftly so he wouldn’t see how your features fell despite your cheerful tone. Yoongi was already on his phone sending and with a casual wave, you parted ways.
“See you soon?” You called out as he disappeared into the corridor.
“Yeah - see you!”
You didn’t get many of those surprise visits anymore as Yoongi got busier and busier. So the world carried on as it was, and you worked until you couldn’t feel anything anymore.
Yoongi was stood outside your apartment with a paper bag in his right hand. Meanwhile, you stood with cash in hand, ready to pay for the take away you impulsively ordered. Wearing a face mask and dressed mostly in black, he shifted on his feet, not looking at you in the eye.
“Uh, my mother wanted me to give you this since you haven’t visited in a while,” He began, his voice muffled. You still didn’t say anything, your skin prickling with goosebumps. Suddenly, you were hyper aware that you were just dressed in sweatpants that had numerous stains and an over-sized t-shirt that had a frayed collar. That was not intentional, that was an indication of how ratty and old it was. Yoongi was still waiting for your reply, casting sideways glances at the empty corridor. Then you remembered.
“Oh, uh, come in, come in!” You said, turning your body so you could press it against the wall so that he could come through. You bit your lip at the state of your apartment. Printed sheets were scattered on the floor, several glasses of water and mugs of coffee, all sequestered in one corner, by the growing collection of plants you had. Yoongi didn’t take any notice of it at all, setting the paper bag on the counter. He was checking his phone when you noticed a couple of condoms mixed in the transparent container where you stored your tea bags, right next to the toast. The foil packets were painfully stark against the white paper tea bags. Taehyung must have placed them in there. Ease of access. Your apartment as already small, and it’s not like the bedroom was on a separate wing. You remembered Taehyung emptying the box, scattering the condoms around your apartment.
You need one here.
Taehyung, we’re not going to fuck on top of my washing machine.
(You eventually did. It was uncomfortable. Your ass was sore for at least a day.)
What about here?
The balcony? Are you serious?
Fine. Can I put it here?
He was talking about the very tea dispenser that was on the left side of Yoongi, who was still on his phone. Strategically placing yourself behind him, pretending to arrange appliances, you swiped the box and hid it underneath a cupboard. Yoongi pocketed his phone and looked at you, just as you slammed it shut. He had taken his face mask off and chuckled at how flighty you were.
“You didn’t have to come over here, I could have picked it up myself,” You mumbled, hiding your hands behind your back. Yoongi shrugged.
“I had some time after rehab, I don’t mind.”
You found yourself nodding, you noted that he did shrug with both shoulders. So he must be making good progress. Yoongi then reached into the bag and produced a couple of Tupperwares. Rushing to his side, you took it from him so he wouldn’t strain himself. When you stacked them together, you noted that it was mostly home made dishes, the ones you would share with him in high school when you would spend time at his house after school.
“Are you okay?” He suddenly asked. And you froze. You met him in the eye and he was looking at you intently, his dark hair getting in the way of his eyes. He didn’t push it back. You were more dumbfounded that anything. It had been weeks since he found out about your crush and you hadn’t really spoken to each other. And in that time, you were with Taehyung, sleeping together and burying your feelings by fucking. So you never really stopped to think if you were okay. The assumption was that he was asking if you were okay with him rejecting you. And mostly, if you were okay with him coming back in your life, as a friend. Yoongi came back to you as someone you were close to, who would support you in a different capacity since he couldn’t return your romantic feelings. And it was just like Yoongi to ask that, he was still a friend after all. Ultimately, that didn’t mean that he would phase you out of his life. It was unrequited love, not the end of the world. You sighed, you didn’t meant to, but it was pushed from your chest, escaping your lips, long and drawn out. Yoongi was still looking at you.
“Yeah Yoongi, I’m fine,” You answered, somewhat believing it yourself in that moment. He was in your apartment, giving you the food that you both had when you were younger. It was a silent offering, I’m sorry. I’m here. Let’s go back, I can be here for you, if you’d have me again. Yoongi nodded, a small smile creeping up his lips. He took the top Tupperware and set it down, you followed his movements as he took two clean bowls from the drying rack.
“Should we eat?” He offered, already taking a place on one of the chairs. You nod. But before you could settle, you noticed that his car keys had a keychain on. It was the same one that you have gifted him for his birthday last year, and that made you smile. You didn’t know why you thought things would drastically change following him knowing that you liked him, it was nice that he kept something that you gifted. You could still remember how he smiled when he fished it out.
Yoongi had managed two free days on his schedule for the week and decided to host a small gathering with the members and couple of friends. Not arriving too late or too early, you found yourself hanging out in the kitchen with Dami, sorting out the food. Yoongi had decided to order food in as it was too much of a hassle to make anything. The plastic containers were all lined up, complete with the various utensils like chopsticks and spoons.
"I can't believe it's been another year!" Dami exclaimed, poking holes in the plastic film. Soon, fresh sashimi was on display for everyone to have a bite on. You were busily arranging the fruit bowls to ensure that everyone had an equal share.
"Yoongi is becoming an old man," You laughed. You fished out your phone to show an edited version of Yoongi, at least 30 years older. It was on Twitter and you saved it as soon as you saw it.
"It would he hilarious to surprise him with that," Dami grinned, arranging the utensils on a big tray. The small paper bag caught your eye as it poked from underneath a table, but it was inconspicuous. Hopefully it would stay hidden as the night went on since you planned to give it to him at some point. Just then, Hye-yeon entered the room with a big red box, presumably containing the cake. Side stepping, you made room so that the spare space on the kitchen island was vacant for her to access. She smiled in thanks and set it down, careful to keep it even.
"I'm so glad I beat the traffic,” Hye-yeon sighed, fixing her hair. You couldn't help how your chest tightened since the desperation to switch places with her amplified.
"Thanks for manning the food for me guys, I had a longer shift at the hospital and couldn't get away," she added, untying the ribbon around the box. You smiled. Dami patted her shoulder affectionately, "Of course!”
As the evening wound down, you found yourself wanting to top up your drink. You wondered if it was time to give him the gift. Slightly unsure of yourself but excusing yourself anyway, you made your way to the kitchen. Once there, you came across Yoongi and Hye-yeon smiling from ear to ear. You realise that she had just given him a gift - and it looked like a fountain pen. Encased in the familiar burgundy box, you had wanted to get him that yourself but it tipped the price point. You instantly felt your efforts pale in comparison. Suddenly, you decided that the custom made keychain that was stuffed in a makeshift bag was not worthy of his attention. Noticing your dumbfounded expression, you schooled yourself and headed straight to where the drinks were, reminding yourself to collect the bag from nearby.
"Come and look at this," Yoongi beamed, eager to share his gift. Glancing at their direction, you raised your eyebrows to feign enthusiasm. Hye-yeon laughed, covering her face in embarrassment, "Stop, it's not even that big of a deal!"
Upon closer inspection, you realise that it had his name engraved in gold lettering. The body of the fountain pen was all black, set on a satin burgundy bed. Yoongi, proud as ever, took it out and popped the lid, revealing a marvellous gold nib. It was impressive and thoughtful. Yup, you were definitely not going to give him your gift.
"That's so pretty!" You offered, observing it as it twirled in between Yoongi's pale fingers. He was grinning so hard that you saw the sides of his eyes crinkle.
"Hyung, I couldn't find the bottle opener, is it here?" Jimin's voice cut through. You saw that he was busily rummaging through the cupboards with a bottle of wine in his hand. You also noticed that he was travelling towards a location that was eventually nearing the bag. Setting the drink down, you walked towards Jimin, attempting to displace his search.
"I know where it is," You replied before Yoongi could even reply. Reaching forwards under the pretence of looking, you swept the bag out of sight and set it on a chair under the table. But Jimin was quick to register. As your eyes met, you felt your face grow warm with heat as you were more or less caught. But as his eyes softened, he relented his search and gave you the opportunity to disclose where the bottle opener was. Luckily it was just lying out in the open and you handed it over to Jimin. Yoongi and Hye-yeon were already making their way out. Sighing with relief, you leaned on the countertop, setting your half empty drink down.
"Was that meant to be for Yoongi-hyung?” Jimin asked, twisting the opener into the firm structure of the cork.
"Yeah," You confessed, defeated. Even though you were sure that it wasn't a shitty present, you wished that you hadn't seen what Hye-yeon had gotten him. Now you felt as if there was no point since it dawned on you that you were both past the age of novelty gifts. Hearing the cork release from the bottle, you looked up only to see Jimin fish the bag from where it was left.
"Jimin, can I have it back?" You sighed, your mood dampening as he taunted you by hanging it on his finger.
"Why don't you give it to him?" He pouted, trying to sneak a peek by opening the bag and poking his finger through the tissue paper. Giving up, you sighed and reached for the wine bottle in his hand and poured some in your glass. When the keychain finally on display, Jimin cooed. You forgot that you also had his name etched on a separate panel. It was a Kumamon bear holding an orange with a speech bubble that said "Kkaep-Jjang!"
"Hyung would love this," he laughed, laying it flat on his palm. When he turned it, he found an engraving at the back that said "I'm the King, I'm the Boss". It was that moment that made Jimin laugh, doubling over and nearly toppling his drink.
“Stop okay,” You chuckled, seeing how its features brought out someone’s sentimentality. Jimin recovered, taking another swig at his drink.
“No but seriously, this is so cute,” He sighed, thumbing the keychain in his hand. Reaching over, you took it from him and attempted to pocket it. Maybe you can use it instead.
“If you don’t end up giving it to him, can I give it instead? My present is great but this adds a personal touch,” Jimin sighed, stepping closer to intercept you. As he caught your wrist, your eyes widened at his sudden movements. Jimin was usually more physical when he was inebriated, and you could confirm that he was probably tipsy at this stage.
“Jimin quit being like this, I’ll use it instead,” You reasoned, firmly detaching yourself from him. He pouted in defeat, his honey coloured hair falling over his eyes. You suddenly felt sad and insecure, which was ridiculous since it was over a harmless present. But you realised that having such inferior feelings over a mere keychain versus a fountain pen only served to highlight that you were acting like a sore loser and helplessly in love with a taken man.
“Hello? Were you even listening?” Jimin interjected, sticking his face near yours. You brought yourself back to reality, pressing your forehead against his in jest.
“No,” You confessed, getting back to your drink. Jimin’s brow furrowed, seemingly upset. “What I was saying was that you should just give it to him, no need to feel insecure, each gift has value.”
Gritting your teeth, you hated how transparent you were at the worst of times. Just then, Taehyung entered the kitchen with Dami. Eyeing how you and Jimin’s heads were lowered and staring into each other’s eyes, Taehyung cleared his throat to signal his presence.
“We were sent to get the cake,” He replied gruffly, staring at you a little longer than expected. Dami’s expression was stony, far contrast to her smiling face earlier. You wondered what had happened.
“Is it time for the singing?” Jimin gasped, setting the bottle and his drink down. You pulled back and shoved the keychain further down your back pocket. Sounds of clutter began as Taehyung desperately searched for the candles, Jimin had already left the kitchen to join in on the fun. Left with nothing to do, you made a move to follow him.
“You should give whatever you got for him, he’d like it all the same,” Taehyung said right before you exited. You looked up, the heat rising to your face as you realised he heard more than you wanted him to.
“It’s okay,” You confess, skin prickling at the thought of Yoongi opening it and giving you that sympathetic smile. Taehyung found the candles and placed them gingerly on top of the cake. You watched as his hair fell over his eyes, he looked good in casual wear. He said nothing more and you followed him outside.
When most of the guests had left, it was just you, Hye-yeon, Jimin, and Yoongi left, clearing up the place. You didn’t have anything on for work, so you stayed. Jimin was in the kitchen for far too long, all you had asked him to get a black bin bag. But when he emerged, he had that and the bag where you had your gift. Lunging forward, you tried to snatch it from Jimin, who dodged you expertly. You glared at him, You are so dead. Instead, Jimin winked at you. Yoongi looked up as he stacked the plates.
“Hyung, you have one more present!” Jimin announced, crossing the distance between him and Yoongi, and placed the paper bag directly in his hand. Yoongi looked at you and realised that you got him the gift. He smiled and reached in, taking it out. Your ears burned as you busied yourself in packing the spare confetti. You heard him laugh, like his genuinely laugh. Then, his arm was around your shoulders, squeezing you.
“Thank you, I love it.”
Jimin smirked at you, wiggling his eyebrows as you found yourself smiling.
It was Taehyung’s birthday and he woke up alone. For the past three years, Dami would wake up early and come into the room with what she called a ‘Birthday Breakfast Muffin.’ And it would be a simple one - blueberry flavoured. Then, she would set it down by the bedside table to wake him first by lifting the duvet up slightly, so the cold air won’t startle him. When he felt her body lie close to him, he would immediately unfurl from his sleeping position and wrapped her in his arms, till he could squeeze giggles out her. Dami would always kiss his cheek and lift herself off to present him the muffin, and he would act like it was the first time he’d seen it. And Dami would kiss him, between mouthfuls of blueberry crumbs, singing Happy Birthday softly against his lips. Then, before he had to go, they would have a proper breakfast together and in the evening, drink their favourite wine and slow dance in the living room.
Now, his room was quiet and there was nothing on the bedside table. No one had lifted the duvet carefully and he had woken up still in the same position he was in - curled up, with a pillow between his legs and arms. The screen on his phone was alight as messages flooded through, casting a white glow against the wall. Sighing, he picked it up, thumbing down the notifications. He didn’t want to reply but he had to out of courtesy. As he spent time checking each message, some from the members, some from other industry friends, he saw yours.
You [5:46AM] Happy Birthday :P
He smiled at that. It had been a couple of weeks since you had last spoken (and fucked) and he wasn’t sure if he had missed you or just missed someone to hold. Their schedule was particularly packed towards the end of the year anyway and he threw himself into it, not wanting to be idle. Double tapping on your message to like it, he carried on replying for most of the morning, with his phone attached to the charger.
When Taehyung was the van on the way to the agency for his birthday broadcast, he wondered whether he viewed his relationship with Dami with rose-tinted glasses on. Whether he conflated getting comfortable with contentment. He wracked his brain for the moments where Dami was pulling away and if there was a time, why didn’t he notice?
As the van shuddered due to a speed hump, he was brought back to reality. Through the dark tint of the windows, he saw the agency and then they approached the basement parking. Sighing, he pushed his glasses up his nose and cleared his throat. He needed to focus and speak live for at least an hour, so he abandoned any thoughts or opportunity for retrospection. It would eventually give him a headache anyway.
It was mid-January already and it was nearing 7pm. You were close in finalising the project that you had been working on for the past three weeks. You didn't bother to turn the lights on, letting the blue glow of the laptop spur you into hyper focus. Suddenly, you hear your front door open. Taehyung. Hands flying to switch the nearby floor lamp on, you didn’t want to appear as a hermit. Light flooded the living room just as he appeared. Dressed in grey sweats, he carried a paper bag and carried a navy holdall. Placing his face mask and beanie on the counter, he watched you to look for signs of a meeting. You realise that you were still wearing your work clothes despite sitting crossed legged on the floor, hunched over the small screen for god knows how long.
"I'll just be 5 more minutes," you informed him, turning your attention back to the document. He smiles, producing a cheesecake and two cans of beer.
"I'll put these in the fridge, they've been stewing in the car," he sighed. You nod, not really caring. Silence passed, you typed the last few corrections, your eyes stung from the tiredness. You noticed that Taehyung was taking a little too long, rummaging through your fridge.
"You're wasting my electricity," You grumbled, logging out of the online portal. He ignored you, digging a white box that you've shoved in the back. Eyes widening, you scramble to stand up, running towards him to prevent him from opening it. The box was decorative and came from his favourite patisserie.
"Taehyung, put it back," you protest, trying (and failing) to snatch it away from his grasp. It didn't help that he raised it from your reach as he towered over you.
"What's this?" He queried, looking up at the base of the box.
"Taehyung please!" You pleaded, jumping up in desperation. But he leaned back till his back his the counter. He laughed as you jumped up again. The box was still well out of your reach. Giving up, you sighed deeply and stood back, crossing your arms over your chest. He waited for you to lunge at him but you retreated, going back to your laptop instead. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw that he set it down near the paper bag he brought. Heat rose to your face as you waited for his reaction. Taehyung opened the box and was met with an array of macarons. All different colours, he noticed that letters were on them, painted with chocolate. But some were already missing. Not entirely your fault. You hadn’t seen each other for a while and you didn’t want to waste your money, so you ate them gradually as you worked.
Appy irthday Ehyung!
On the bottom row, there were illustrations of Yeontan walking in profile. The remaining macarons had paw prints on them. He looked up at you and found you frantically shuffling some papers to appear distracted. Maybe if I don’t look him in the eye, he’d just drop it. You thought, banking on Taehyung’s emotional intelligence.
"For me?" He asked coyly, picking the 'A' macaron and biting into it. You carried on shuffling papers and shoving them into a folder. If you could summon a giant black hole to open up, you would. He called your name, moving to sit next to you with the box in his hand. When the collection of macarons appeared in your view, you groaned in embarrassment. You wanted to bury yourself alive. Taheyung's arm slid on your shoulder as your face heated up from being found out.
"I think this is really sweet," he said, picking a macaron and offering it to you. It was pink with a paw print on it.
"No it's not Taehyung, it's weird. I shouldn't have gotten it," You sigh, biting into it. But he squeezed you closer to him.
"Well, it was for my birthday, and I think it's sweet," he repeated, finishing the macaron. Reaching for the TV remote, you switched the channel to the news.
“Is all you watch the news?” He asked, snatching the remote away from you. The screen swiftly changed to a variety show, which was probably a re-run.
“It gets me knowing what’s going on, sometimes the newspapers take too much time,” You answered, pulling your legs towards you and tucking your knees under your chin. You felt his gaze next to you.
“You know, you’re so young, but you’ve done so much,” He mutters, totally out of the blue. He reached for a pink macaron with Yeontan on it. But before he bit into it, he took his phone out to take a picture first. That made you smile.
“I guess…” You offered, paying attention to the game on the screen. Both teams had to score a point for water polo. Needless to say, they were struggling all the same.
“I mean, you’ve accomplished so many things too, you’re literally part of the world’s biggest boyband right now,” You add, actually interested in the game.
“It’s not all that.” He sighed, finishing the macaron in one swift bite.
“Well, I’d rather be depressed with $40 million in my account than depressed with $3.” You replied distractedly, seeing another email on your laptop screen. Taehyung found it in himself to laugh at how blunt you were. Dami was always understanding and consoling him for everything that bothered him, whereas you couldn’t be bothered to entertain any sort of that. Which is why he thought you and Yoongi would be a good fit.
“Yoongi-hyung said something similar to me when he and I went drinking,” Taehyung reminisced. Your ears perked up, somewhat curious that you had similar views.
“I was talking about how it’s so much pressure to be an idol and he just shrugged, said something like that, and then he told me that it’s better to be busy than idle. And anyway, we’ve gained more than we lost, I think.”
It was your turn to laugh. That was just like Yoongi to say something like that. The other team on the TV won, and the sound of chaotic cheers filled your living room. Taehyung’s hand closed over yours, his thumb brushing your knuckles.
“Mmhm,” He hummed, already leaning towards you. The sweet taste of macarons greeted your lips, then his tongue grazed yours. The taste of macarons lingered on your tongue. You moan, hands suddenly scrambling to remove his shirt, he gasped as your cold hands came into contact with his back.
“Sorry,” You said in between moans as his hands hurriedly unbuttoned your blouse. Careful not to tear it open (like last time), he flung it to the far side of the room. Then came the zip of your trousers, you shed them from your legs, spreading your thighs as you reclined beneath him. He pressed himself against your throbbing core, rapidly becoming wet just from kissing. I mean, it has been, what? Weeks?
“Better in the bedroom,” He muttered, lips on your neck. You nod, clawing at his back, hips grinding against him, earning a deep groan against your ears. Getting up was easy, but not when his arm locked around your waist as he stepped out of his own sweats, using you for balance. You laughed as his toes got caught in the fray.
“Shut up,” he mumbled, slipping out of his hoodie and shirt. Both in your underwear, you stepped over the mess on the floor and made a beeline for the bedroom. You silently pat yourself on the back for remembering to wash the bedsheets. As your back hit the bed, the smell of freshly laundered sheets greeted you. Taehyung leaned over you, kissing your nose as he hooked his thumbs over your underwear. Teasingly slow, you watched as the black fabric left your body, revealing your soaked folds. Eyes trained on your wet cunt, Taehyung removed his underwear, cock springing free. You moaned as pre-cum covered the head of his cock. Scrambling to get the condom on your side table, he chuckled at how on the ball you were.
“Shut up,” You mirrored him, finally finding it. Swiftly, you handed it to him and watched with bated breath as he slipped it on. When the head of his cock teased you core, you adjusted yourself, hips coming down. Your hand grasped him and he groaned at your impatience. Not wanting to waste anymore time, you ground your hips, feeling his cock become coated with your arousal, yet still he held back.
“Fuck hold on,” he moaned as you took his fingers in your mouth, coating it with your saliva, using all available devices at your disposal. As his fingers left your mouth, you noticed that his other hand was placed on your shoulder, perhaps to brace himself. In that moment, you were aware that his thumb was unconsciously caressing the base of your neck. Your cunt clenched immediately. Taehyung jerked suddenly, your walls tightening around him even more. Your eyes met briefly, everything felt so hot.
"Choke me." You blurted out, it was instinctive, you rolled your hips to spur him on. Taehyung's eyes widened, only for a split second but you caught it. For the first time, he was hesitating. Silence continued and your walls throbbed around his cock. You inhaled sharply, aware that you couldn't let the moment pass.
"Taehyung," you gasped, moaning as he let you grind yourself against him, enveloping his cock in your folds.
"Are you sure? I've never done this before," he said, voice oddly calm. But you felt his hand begin to press the side of your neck, it was subtle but your pulse was beating steadily against his skin. You found yourself nodding, pushing yourself closer against him, back arching slightly, taking his cock even deeper. A small moan escaped your lips, hoping to coax him. The air became rarified with the anticipation that emanated from you both.
"I trust you," you reassured him, remaining still and waiting for him. With your eyes locked onto his, you gauged him, his bottom lip was tucked under his teeth. Something flitted across his eyes and then you felt his hand move across your neck, your breath hitched. He stopped suddenly, the pressure leaving your neck and soon as it arrived.
"No, keep going," you said, trying to keep the panic in your voice at bay. But you saw that he was chuckling, eyes darkening suddenly.
"No, I just, I never thought you'd be into this," he smirked. Heat floods your face.
"Hey I'm not a prude," you shot back, returning his gaze defiantly.
"Now get on with it," you demanded, spreading your thighs and proceeding to undulate your hips. Taehyung groaned, remembering that he was still sheathed inside of you, aware that your walls were throbbing in protest. Finally, his hand enclosed over your neck, you felt the pressure again, and a jolt of pleasure ran along your body. You shiver involuntarily, moaning as he also began to move his hips.
“Tell me if you’re uncomfortable and I’ll stop, okay?” Taheyung panted, firmly planting his his other hand beside your head. Nodding as best you could, your breath hitched as he slammed his hips onto yours, the hand on your neck keeping a steady pressure. With your eyes fluttering shut, you sighed as your clit finally got the attention it needed. Lost in the depths of pleasure, you heard him say your name, a deep rasp that pierced any sense of logic you had left. It wasn't something that you could respond to anyway, as your voice garbled nonsense, words melting into mewls. He called your name again. This time, you opened your eyes, tongue wetting your lips as he pushed himself inside you.
"F-fuck, Taehyung, harder," you moaned, you couldn't contain it. Looking up at him, you knew that he was hesitating in putting more pressure. He knew you were pleading for his hand to put more weight on you. Seeing that his jaw was clenched, his groans mixing into grunts as he rutted into you, pressing you further up the mattress. Your arms raised themselves above your head, pushing against the headboard to brace yourself. Taehyung groaned at the sight, you knew that he liked you spread before him, your tits bouncing each time his hips slammed against yours. You were so wet that you were practically dripping around him and onto the sheets.
"You sure?" He asked, voice strained.
"Yes!" You gasped, eyes rolling in the back of your head as your arched up, pressing your entire self against him. Then, his hand added more weight, closing on your neck even more. A choked cry escaped your lips as they parted.
"Shit," he groaned, momentarily thrown off as he snapped his hips in response as your cunt clenched around him. You whined as the sensations began to overwhelm you, barely able to register anything as your voice was reduced to gasps. Taehyung wasn't faring either, teeth cutting his lower lip, biting so hard that it became a violent shade of dark pink.
"Keep going, don't stop, fuck," you gasped, arms straining from the force of his thrusts. Still, the fact that Taehyung's hand was on your neck only served to elevate your pleasure, causing you to leak more. He never wavered, thrusting into you rapidly. As your body began to be jostled, bouncing on the mattress from the force, his hold on your neck restricted you, taking the air that you sought. His groans and your cries coincided with the repeated slaps of skin on skin, the slick noises of your wet cunt enclosing on his cock.
"Fuck, I'm not gonna last," Taehyung groaned, his hand on your neck pressing tighter. Delighted in how he was taking the role, you bit your lip not caring if he finished first. It was euphoric, to have him believe that you trusted him and that he was doing what you asked. That thought alone was enough to send you over the edge.
"Just cum," You moaned, hands leaving the headboard to cup your breasts, pinching your nipples. You didn’t care that you were being pushed up, so much so that you body was practically leaning on the headboard, your body basically bent in half. Taehyung grunted in response, then elicited a gasp as his thrusts become sloppier by the second. Everything was so hot and wet, his grip on your throat tightening further.
"Fuck, fuck, you're so fucking good," he moaned, his voice deep and clear. You relish in being able to give him pleasure, moaning even more as you closed your eyes and succumbed to his touch. With a final slam of his hips, he came with fervour, filling the condom, spilling his hot cum inside. With his hand still on your neck you whined as your swollen clit was suddenly neglected, his thrusts slowing down. But before you could protest, Taehyung had mustered the strength to continue thrusting into you.
"T-taehyung, ah, fuck,” you cried, hands flying to his forearm as he continued to choke you. Your fingers dug into his skin, small red crescents forming in their wake.
"Cum for me," he demanded not caring about the sting on his arm, eyes alight with determination. In that moment, you let go, orgasm ripping through you in a violent way, that combined with the lack of air caused you to get lightheaded as your cries were reduced to silence. White light clouded your vision and your body shuddered as it tried to cope with all the sensations that assaulted it. Taehyung's lips found your nipple, tugging it even more. You swore you were ascending as he coasted you through your orgasm, Fuck, yes, yes! You managed, your entire body singing from pleasure and pain. As he slowed his thrusts, you steadied your breath, his hands left your neck and body as he leaned back to slip outside of you. The emptiness made you groan as your walls throbbed around nothing. Taehyung leaned forward to plant a chaste kiss on your lips before rolling next to you, completely spent. After some time, you both relaxed onto the bed, somewhat sleepy.
"Can I stay for a bit?" Taehyung muttered, already drifting. You didn't answer. Instead, you turned to him and slotted yourself against his body, your head against his neck. He used his arm to pull you closer, tucking you head underneath his chin.
The clock read 3.47AM. It was dark and you were tangled in each other's embrace. You had accidentally woken him up when you tried to go to the bathroom since your skin was sticky as your arousal was drying between your legs, on your chest, your lips. Now, Taehyung's arm was underneath your head, his other hand took yours to outstretch it to the ceiling. You weren't sure what the purpose of that was since your arm was shorter than his, so his elbow ended up at an angle. Still, you played along, rocking your palm against his.
“I can’t sleep. I keep thinking about the time where I messed up during a conference." He confessed. Chuckling at himself as he remembered it. He was opening up more, usually it's after sex. It didn't bother you before but you did notice that cuddling was new.
"I was asked to describe the genre for one of the tracks, and I said something like disco pop poking ballad acoustic guitar sound," he outwardly cringed, folding into you. You laugh at his hair, untangling your fingers from his to hug him, he squeezed you back. You knew what he was talking about, the press conference for their BE album. But you couldn’t remember which song.
"Can I ask what track?"
He starts laughing harder, his deep voice melodic, and he nuzzled more into the crook of your neck. You hug him tighter, your heart swelling at his display of affection.
"Blue and Grey." With that knowledge you actually laughed, fanning his hair with your breath. Taehyung pressed himself onto you, arms circling your waist.
"I know," he grumbled, deep voice reverberating against your skin. He pulled away, placing some distance between you, so you rested your head on the pillow as his arm slipped away. You schooled yourself as you automatically missed his embrace.
"I always get nerves during press conferences, now it's gonna add to the view that I'm from another planet," he sighed. He was looking up at your ceiling again, profile in view. It was hard to tell whether his eyes were closed or not since his fringe was in the way. Yet your hand remained by your side despite its protest of brushing it away.
"Well, I like you just the way you are," you mused. The silence that followed signalled that what you said may have been inappropriate. You had to remind yourself that you were just having sex. What you said seemed like a tentative statement, a hint that you wanted more as you reassured him. But it was unavoidable at this point, it came so natural to you. You waited, unaware that you were holding your breath. All that came was a small scoff from Taehyung, he brought his hands to his face, bracelets jostling together on his wrist. Guessing that he was still reeling from embarrassment, you trusted that he would gloss over what you said. Your face filled with heat as you prepared to turn over.
"Well, I should get going. Early shoot tomorrow." He sat up suddenly, threading his fingers through his hair. He was already reaching for his clothes. A small sliver of disappointment wrapped itself over you, your skin prickled with goosebumps.
"Sure. Drive safe." You said, turning over and pulling the duvet further up your shoulder.
Well, I like you just the way you are.
It wasn't new. He had heard it more than a thousand times since he started his career, whether it was from his parents, the members, fans. So why did it feel different this time? Taehyung drove the car out of the parking lot, climbing the cemented hill to join the main road. Despite nearing midnight, various cars were still on the road. He drove in silence.
But in that silence, he remembered you. The small sighs you would make. How your bodies seemed to slot into each other perfectly nowadays. The snippets of encouragement that didn’t come often but it was enough for him to notice. Clenching his jaw, he realised that what was happening between you guys was toeing the line. A shrill ring brought him out of his thoughts - Dami. Her name flashed on the screen of his car. He ignored it, driving forward as the light turned green.
previously. / next.