#identity Tumblr posts

  • I’ve struggled with my ”identity” for as along as I can remember. Being born into a body considered disabled, for most of my years on this earth I’ve held great shame, a sense of loss and deep rejection towards my body.

    Never feeling truly at home in this body that was not considered to be enough, I searched endlessly for belonging, for acceptance, for a deeper knowing of myself. I chased highs, I crashed hard, I lost myself over and over in a desperate attempt to be anything other than who I thought I was.

    I fought this body, I resented this body, I punished this body, I inflicted pain on this body, I tried to escape this body, I felt trapped in this body, I felt angry in this body, I felt fear in this body, I was overwhelmed in this body, I was drowning in this body, I was lost in this body.

    And then one day, it dawned on me – just who is this “I” who appears to be so lost anyway? Truly I had no idea. So I set out to find her. I forgot all that I thought I knew, all that others wanted or hoped I would be and I began to unravel.

    At first, I was terrified. I did not want to let go of the parts of me I thought were keeping me safe, the parts that protected me. How could I trust this body that had wronged me for so long?

    In time, I understood the difference between how often she had saved me, and how often she had stood in my way. I learned how to nourish her, I learned how to care for her, I learned what she needed – what she wanted. For the first time, I could see her, I really knew her.

    Eventually, I trusted her enough to show me the truth. I surrendered to her, and she began to lead me towards freedom. She began to reveal the secrets of how she thrives, her magic, her power. We fell in love.

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  • Message

    It can be something so simple, yet so complex. Walking down the pathway to your mailbox. Opening up and taking them out. Letters to you, letters to those dear to you. In all forms and shapes. Containing information in their rawest form. Written statements with a message left up to the receiver. What do they say?

    A single word can determine a whole world, one message can say enough to fill entire books. Empathy is a concern to be considered. Especially when our messages are not written. And most of all, when they are a silent part of our culture.

    Every day we show up. We decide what to wear, who to meet and how to spend our time. We are. And therefore we send a message. A message to anyone who sees us, a contribution to the world of others. Often intended, often unseen. Hopefully aware. Aware of our people and our identity, to help them proceed with a common cause.

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  • Sometimes we think because we’re not a pastor or someone who is behind a pulpit that we’re of less value as Christians but that couldn’t be further from the truth. We may be different parts of the body but every part has its purpose that makes the whole function at its very best.

    We can have as much of God as we want. God doesn’t give children a jr. Holy Spirit. You have God at His fullest. You have all His love and access to Him through the blood of Jesus. He is holding nothing back from you. He gave up the world, all of creation to find you and to bring you to Him—you can bet He’s going to get what He paid for and rejoice over you daily, despite what you do, despite how you feel, despite the trials you face.

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  • hey diary here’s a poem

    Three demons knock
    I open the door and sigh
    Familiar faces greet me with excited grins

    “Took you long enough. 
    I’m gonna remember this,
    You loser.” Says Anxiety, as he walks past me, 
    Eyeing my furnishings

    “So this is yours hmmm?
    You think you deserve this hmmm?
    This is really what you want hmmm?”
    Identity playfully remarks as she floats
    Haphazardly into my once safe home.

    Emptiness stood last at the threshold
    “Yeah, place is nice.
    And he slumps in
    Not making any impact whatsoever.

    I hadn’t seen these three 
    In the same place
    In a long time

    I look at the empty
    Liquor cabinet
    And remember that I 
    To have weapons
    To combat these demons

    I was dumb.
    I thought it would make my life better.

    I was cocky.
    It didn’t.

    Vodka and waters
    Steeled my nerve enough
    To laugh in Anxiety’s face

    Margaritas on ice
    Gave me the insight 
    To answer Identity’s probes

    A six pack
    Made me feel. 
    Anger, sadness, lust
    It didn’t matter.
    As long as I felt anything,
    Emptiness couldn’t get me

    I was dumb
    I was cocky

    The idea of picking up a bottle now 
    Upsets my gut
    Makes me wary
    And worried about the next day

    I sought to give up the drink
    And it worked better than I imagined.

    Vampires have invaded my home
    And I’ve grown allergic to stakes and garlic

    Werewolves are busting down my door
    And I threw all my silver away.

    My demons are back
    And I can’t drink

    #poems#sober#sobriety#demons#depression#anxiety#identity#loneliness#emptiness#drinking#rambling#help me #i give so much of myself #and im worried ill never get anything back #the minute i ask for it though #it will no longer be genuine #i feel alone #i am worried about my place in this world #how i affect others #do i matter #if i disappeared tomorrow #who would mourn #who would care #who would notice #i was a lot happier when i was drinking myself stupid every day #i felt more at peace with myself #i guess thats why i had an addiction to it #i dunno why im bearing my soul in the tags #no one is gonna see this post #no one cares
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  • image

    on earth we’re briefly gorgeous, ocean vuong / invasion of the stickers movement / a boy named sue, johnny cash

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  • - SEMAINE 7 - 🍰

    ✏️ Jeudi 29 Octobre, 10h00

    Dernier jour de présence physique au bureau, alors permettez, on fête ça ! Effectivement, dès demain, étant donné que nous l’équipe design pouvons travailler de chez nous, nous allons être dispensé de nos aller-retours quotidien jusqu’à nouvel ordre… Confinement oblige.
    À la revoyure ! 


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  • Shoutout to my fellow mixed race humans who have a stronger connection with one of their parents’ cultures than the other. Y’all are awesome and valid. Rock on 🤘

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  • funny enough, someone else suggested “queer”, which is fine, but despite the username, “i’m queer” feels a bit “pinkies out” for most situations, doesn’t it?

    Keep reading

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  • ok sooooo i know i have barely any followers on here so like probablyy no one will see this but tbh that’s the whole point of me posting this on here…. so here it is:

    i think i’m non binary. i really really really do. i’ve been thinking about this for the past 2 or 3 years, especiallyy during this last year with quarantine and everything, and even more so now that i’m at uni and i’ve been more independent than i’ve been in my life and i actually have this feeling of control over my life…. like,, i can just… be who i want to be?? and do what i want to do?? as long as i’m not hurting anyone else or myself, i’m all good!? i have the freedom to express myself however the heck i want to bc this is my life !! wow !? like isn’t that so cool?!! anyway ahh yeah :’)) i did mention this to my closest friend in january of this year i thinkk, or maybe earlier idk, and since around that time i’ve had my pronouns as she/they in all my social media bios, and that’s what i tell people my pronouns are if anyone asks, but that’s as far as i’ve gotten,, until now…. i’ve decided i’m going to experiment with they/them pronouns for a bit, just for myself, and like here on tumblr. i know that’s not very radical lmao like you don’t exactly think about yourself in the third person much but i’m too nervous and confused to tell anyone i know irl yet, so this will have to do.

    i’m also going to do the same thing with my name :)) in the summer of last year, when i stayed up all of one night while my family and i were on vacation, bc i was having intense anxiety about figuring out what my gender is, i started thinking about what name i would pick if i ever actually changed my name… i sat there on my grandma’s windowsill at probably 3am, cycling through all the gender neutral names begining with r that i could think of, and the very first one that i remember thinking of (after just first thinking of rin bc that was my d&d character’s name at the time lmao), was Ren…. Ren. it felt so…. good. it felt comforting. it still made me feel a bit weird though, bc the whole idea of just changing my name felt pretty weird… but i… liked it. i’ve thought about this name a lot over the past year and a bit since then, constantly imagining how i would introduce myself to people as Ren, how i could tell the staff at starbucks that my name is Ren and they’d write it on a cup (even though i don’t particularly like coffee and i never go to starbucks sjsjsj, i just know that they do that), and yeah stuff like that… it always gave me this little bubble of happiness, but i’d soon pop it and move on thinking about other things to distract myself… but over the past few months two people i know irl, one that i’m close friends with and someone else that i know from school, they’ve both come out as non binary and have changed their names, and i think seeing these people that i’ve known for years do this thing that i felt like was such a big deal with what seemed like such ease and comfort and confidence and freedom, that made me realise like…. i can do that too. the only thing that’s really stopping me is fear, and why should i let fear win?? it also occured to me like an hour ago that i had never looked up the meaning of the name Ren before, and guess what, it means lotus or love, and that is literally everything i could possibly dream of my name meaning, like….. it’s so perfect :’))

    so, for now at least, i’m putting my name here on tumblr as Ren. and hey, if i ever do go to starbucks by myself in the near future, i’ll tell them that my name is Ren and get them to write it on my cup :)

    at the end of the day, if i ever change my mind about any of this, in a day, week, month, year etc., i can just change it again. it’s all so ok. i’m just growing and exploring and living and loving, and that’s pretty freaking cool i must say <3

    i trulyy hope that you are having a wonderful day/night, and i love you so much. i really mean that.

    lots of love,

    Ren xxx

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  • It’s odd because men grow up thinking they’re entitled to women and women think they have to live answering what a man says he likes hoping they find someone gracious and kind enough to love them. Someone who won’t treat them like another body worthy of comparison and disappointment.

    I tell you Jesus has His eyes on daughters, not just on the fact that she was born a girl. If it’s just a girl then every girl is one of a million. When it’s on daughters she’s always one in a million. And then she’s not constantly looking for a reason as to why she’s worth loving.

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  • A Christian man’s job isn’t to get the opposite sex to trust in him for love but to realize more Jesus’ love for her through him. It’s not about him being the focus. It’s about her and her relationship with the Lord being the focus.

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  • Placing your hope in being what a man may desire in order to find acceptance for yourself is never an answer for anything you may struggle with. Love should be a given and you should accept yourself as worth loving regardless of what others think of you. What God thinks is most important because you belong to Him.

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  • #Identity
    Life is a non-linear journey.
    When I am able to recognise my difficult and easy steps I begin to recognise how full life really is.

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  • #benjamin alire sáenz #aristotle and dante discover the secrets of the universe #coming of age #young adult#lgbtq+#family#identity#book#books#quote#quotes#book quote#book quotes#secret#universe#self discovery#love
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  • On identity

    I know many agree with the phrase that “identity is a prison” and I often feel gulity because I don’t see it as such. I don’t know who I am, I feel like I am a drop in a vast sea, no different than the sea. For me, identity is a warm and familiar home, where I know what are on the shelves and in different rooms. I don’t have to be guessing who I am, a drop or the sea itself. And it might feel like I am avoiding the unknown, maybe I am. Because I am tired of constantly searching for myself, I wish I could say “I know who I am”; I’d rather be a familiar home than a never ending sea.

    #identity is a prison #my thoughts#my opinion#writing#identity #its not a prison #its a familiar home for me #da#dark academia#idea#philosophy#existentialism
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