#incorrect quote Tumblr posts

Lissa: Every problem can't be solved with a stake

Rose: I know

Rose: that's why I carry two

merlin: i'm not sure what this sentence means

gwaine: "ignorance is bold and knowledge reserved"

merlin: you can read latin!?

elyan: you can read!?

gwaine:

gwaine: that's cold, Smith

Ink: Here's some advice

Dream: I didn't ask for any?...

Ink: Too bad. I'm stuck here with my thoughts and you're the only one who talks to me

Elemental Steve: I missed you.

Time Steve: :D

Elemental Steve, summoning a bunch of weapons and machines: But my aim is improving.

Time Steve: D:

Feferi: o)( s)(ello, jade! I'm feferi and t)(is is my partner sollux

Jade: partner as in you love each other or partner in crime :?

Feferi: bot)(, but we're aiming for all t)(ree types of partner

Sollux: waiit, there'2 a thiird type of partner?

Feferi: *slaps on a cowboy )(at*

Feferi: )(owdy!

The Narrator: *hands Stanley a note*

Stanley: What's this?

The Narrator: Request for you to not be difficult today

Stanley: Request denied

Asta: Recipe says to beat three eggs.

Liebe: At what? Hand-to-hand combat?!

Asta: Must be. Charmy banned swords in the kitchen, remember?

Weilan: There’s an old Chinese proverb. ‘Lies are like tigers- they are bad’.

Ondina: That’s it?

Weilan: It’s more poetic in Mandarin.

Luna: all I wanna do is

*gunshots*

*gunshots*

*click*

*cash register noise*

and take your money

obi-wan: are we really going to let ahsoka keep the droid?

anakin: well, we kept ahsoka, didn’t we?

vanora: where there is smoke, there is fire. and where there is fire, there's probably zalmona

Someone: So where you from? Heaven?

Wild: Yeah, I’m a ghost. I died fifteen years ago, like that pickup line.

Badtimes: Imagine if someone handed you a box full of all the items you have lost throughout your life

NPG: Self-esteem, haven't seen you in years!

EX: Oh wow, my childhood innocence! Thank you for finding this!

True: I knew I lost that potential somewhere!

Hels: My moral code, is that you?

Badtimes:

Badtimes: I was just gonna show you this cool trunk my mother left me but do you guys need a hug?

Sumi: You call it a near death experience, I call it a vibe check from God.

Outlander: The last time I went to an urgent care clinic, I checked off 'excessive crying' on the symptom list, and then the nurse got really confused and said that was meant for babies

Cross: Bad things keep happening to me, like I have bad luck or something

Nightmare: Cross, you don't have bad luck. The reason bad things happen to you is because you're a dumbass

Sua:(roleplaying as the villain in an RPG session) Can I attack twice with a mind-controlled character?

Luke:Depends. Rozzi has two pistols, so she could since her attack is two shots by default, but that’d be unlikely with, say, Isol, who wields a machinegun and shoots at one target per turn.

Sua:I’d like to mind-control Rozzi then. Make her aim each gun at one person and shoot.

Luke:Alright. You still have your attack, would you like to close the round off?

Sua:I can still attack?

Luke:Yes. You could swing your weapon at them and make her shoot last to finish it off- I should stop giving you ideas on how to kill them.

Sua:I’ll do that!

Luke:Hoo boy, I didn’t give them a lot of HP.....

Isol:Someone needs to take care of Luke’s loose lips or we’re gonna start dying.

Kyo: :(

Benimaru: Turn that frown upside down

Kyo: ):

Benimaru: Listen here you dramatic shit i said we happy today

Starscream: Windblade sneezed and instead of saying "bless you" I accidentally said "shut the fuck up"

Wheeljack: How do you accidentally say "shut the fuck up"?

Bertolt : I can't jump.

Annie : Aww you're scared of heights?

Bertolt : Yeah, ever since i was a kid.

Annie : That's ok, big guy.

Bertolt : ...

Annie : Unfortunately, that also makes you a chicken.