I will never not imagine life with her until the end of my days. My heart and soul refuse to accept anything else. If she can only be mine in my imagination then so be it. I will never not write about her. All my stories, poems, essays, etc. feature her. She'll forever be my main source of inspiration and as that she is timeless.
She is my eternal muse. She is the ink that's flowing through my veins, spilling out of me. It's funny how only when looking back at my older works in my files I realized that long before we first met, I used her name for the love interests of my protagonists, at least when writing alternate universe stories.
Interestingly enough, the protagonist herself tends to face lots of hardships before eventually getting together with her love interest, or in some cases, she ends up tragically losing her, or they never actually end up together, it's one-sided, etc.
Foreshadowing much? I wonder. It's crazy too how I never noticed back then that I kept using that specific name for the protagonist's love interest. Only now, months later, sometimes a year later even, I noticed it. At the time, it seemed like the most natural thing, so much so, that I didn't even question it.
Now in recap, I could've known, figured that name might hold a certain significance to me, that there was a reason why I seemed to be so drawn to it, kept using it.
The mind is a curious thing and mine seemed to have known way before I did and tried subconsciously relaying messages to me. Remember that name. If you meet someone who is called that way, it's a sign and they are very important.
Well, I know that she is, but the same very much doesn't seem to apply vice versa. Sadly, only because someone so happens to be love of our life doesn't always necessarily mean they feel the same way about us in turn.
All I know is that I will hold those feelings in my heart for as long as I live and her name will forever hold a special meaning to me, just like J/7, the ones who in a way brought us together, made our lives cross, if only for a little while.
I got to have a little taste of true love and happiness and I will treasure it dearly for all of eternity.
Your light will forever stay the most hauntingly beautiful memory.
Time may pass, but my love for you will prevail, it is timeless.
For the rest of my days in this current existence, I will imagine being by your side. I'm not alone. In my heart, you are always right here with me, no matter where I go or what I do.
When I close my eyes at night while lying in my bed, I can almost feel the ghost of you holding onto me, spooning me, whispering that everything will be alright, to not forget you, that you're right there and that I shouldn't give up hope, that you love me too, so much and that you will always be by my side.
Our souls are connected, I know this much. We share this deep, profound bond. This will never cease to exist. So, in a way, we have always and will always be together, linked.
Sometimes, when I close my eyes, I can almost hear your laughter, see your smile and it feels so bittersweet.
I sincerely hope that you are happy, no matter where you might be, who you might truly be, no matter where life may take you.
I wish you all the best because you deserve it. Please, make sure to take care of yourself, stay healthy, be well. Try watching over your emotional and mental health. Those two are crucial to maintaining your overall health, I'm speaking out of personal experience here.
Don't be like me, please. Enjoy and live life to the fullest, make great experiences, go out, meet new people, travel, have fun, do things you enjoy, don't think about tomorrow.
But always make sure to rest in between, sleep as much as possible to restore your energy, get enough hydration and nutrition and listen to your body's signals.
You got this! I will always believe in you. Even if you might not believe it now, you are so strong, powerful, worthy, amazing.
Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Do your thing, follow your dreams and always listen to your heart, it knows what's best for you.