The worst moment during a marriage is when someone realizes they are the only one who wants that marriage to work. Life becomes more and more unbearable everyday when you need to love someone extra just so they might go back to a place where they love you a little. Modernized society has made love into and endless game. Social media has given all of the less invested spouses too much temptation and opportunity to seek connection they are lacking with their partner. Why can’t we go back to a time when if you were unhappy with your partner you worked on your relationship and opened lines of honest communication instead of throwing in the towel. “Reality” TV has tried to show children that even in the most committed of relationships if things get bad it’s okay to just quit. Sometimes maybe that is the case who’s to say. On the flip side who’s to say our generation is blind to the fact that we are missing out on lifelong happiness by jumping from bed to bed when the going gets tough. I wish people could love again, stay committed, and realize that the grass does not always get greener and the world becomes paler the more we ignore our hearts and try to keep up with a standard set by individuals who internalize their self hatred on a screen.
The two pieces of advice that, as an “old man” of 36, I can give to Generation Z, are (1) Do not compare yourself to others- not at an ultimate level. Ultimately, you’re you, and there’s something positive you bring that no one else can- and that’s true of everyone else too... and (2) I already said it, but don’t “internalize” the criticism of others. Other people will give you grief when you’re around them, but the last thing you need is to give them the time you’re alone. Review your “inner critic” and make sure it’s not just other people’s negativity.
you ever hear someone talk/see their face, and you want to murder them right then and there?
cuz this is me with some of my teachers. like, we are taking an assessment, shut the fuck up. i’m trying to concentrate, mute yourself.
but i don’t want to be rude, so i just internalize everything. and i hate it so much.
Baby can’t catch a break.... she’s been chasing that paper for so long...
I love Bee so much.
If you care what anyone else thinks of you, they have the power to hurt you whenever they feel like it, even with just a disapproving glance... or a trolling remark on the Internet. Their power depends on you internalizing their criticisms of you. A lot of marketing works this way: Make the viewer feel inferior, then offer a product to “fix” the inferiority complex- but not really... it’s just to fill someone’s pockets.
When you review, you’ll find your “self-loathing” is probably rumination on someone’s disapproval of you- maybe from years ago. Their opinion of you is now misperceived as part of “you”. The first step to being free of this is to realize it’s NOT you, but that other person who said whatever about you.
Most people, in my experience, get some sort of kick out of making others feel bad about themselves, and if one way doesn’t work, they’ll move on to something else... something that fits with the trends of a new generation. These days, in addition to the obvious insults like body shaming, there’s ideological shaming... you know what I mean.
Family will really do this. They’ll usually say you were a disappointment to them, or unfavorably compare you to others your age. They’ll accuse you of things you didn’t do... and never let you forget any mistakes you did make. The thing is, though, this is just them dumping their own self-doubts and insecurities on you, to try to make themselves feel strong (or less weak).
I’ve seen first hand what happens when people spend a lifetime internalizing the criticism of others. My mother, in turn, had a mother who was impossible to please... and now my mom is suffering from some form of psychosis... as often as not, her loud conversations with imaginary beings are ruminations on her mother’s insults of her... from nearly 46 years ago.
So yes, internalization can be a life sentence, BUT it does NOT have to be... first realize that (1) Internal criticisms are often just someone else’s criticisms replayed in your mind... it’s giving an undeserving person free space in your head... and (2) This applies to the future: Someone will disapprove of you tomorrow, the next day... but why does it matter? It “matters” only in that we find ourselves wrongly believing these naysayers.
It took me 35 years to learn how to respect myself... it was possible only when I stopped caring what others think of or say about me. Do yourself a favor: Try to get to this place in life before I did... most of you are young, and if you can stop the internalization process now, you have great potential.
The Internet and social media give us unprecedented communication ability, but we must never let this give to others the ability to create a “self-critic” in our own minds that mimics them!
Ive been dealing with alot of internalized stuff lately and even though i know i shouldn't, i kinda just ended up sketching this.
normally I wouldn't post something like this to my gw2 blog here, I'd maybe vent about it on my main and leave it, but its 4am, I have a migraine, and I'm so fucking tired.
Empathy is just the ability to read and understand other people's emotions and emotional states. It is not a learned skill, and it is not compassion. Having empathy does not make someone a better person, having low or no empathy does not make someone a worse person. It does not affect how much someone cares about the people around them, it does not affect how selfish they are, and it does not affect how apathetic they are. Insisting that having low to no empathy somehow makes someone a worse person is wrong, and incredibly rude and dismissive to people with personality disorders, mental illness, trauma, autism, and anything else that can and does cause low empathy.
It is flat out ableist to insist having low to no empathy makes someone a bad person. Stop doing it. The word you're looking for is compassion, not empathy. Have some compassion, understand how continuing to mix the two up hurts neurodivergent and mentally ill people
i think tht one post abt stopping self deprecating jokes include memes ppl circulate tht r like "haha original meme but edited for depressed ppl bc im depressed!!" & ppl in the notes going "LOL MY DEPRESSED ASS BE LIKE"
i wonder if my therapist has a bottle of vodka in her desk for after i leave her office
Strives for constant validation to the point where being told by a doctor that my condition is unique and rare makes me feel special.
Pain, the catalyst for change
Sat, Nov 28 11:39pm
I wanna start testosterone so bad man >:(
Me: -relearning how to stim comfortably because my parents abused me into internalizing my stims and only acting them out when I'm alone or safe-
My Quip: "Do you think you have any stims that come out during like sad times or anxious times?"
Me, who's only been able to express my stimming around them because that's the only place I feel comfortable and not judged: "I dunno, I'm not sure, I think if I do my brain has blocked it out as an annoying or bothersome action so I don't recognize it?"
Me, now, having to analyze and reword two different essays: -aggressively panic stimming- "Oh." -text quip- So I have good news and bad news
My Quip: Yeah?
Me: I do have anxiety/panic stims!
Them: Yay! ... Oh...
against All Odds i really hope this doesnt turn out to be a trap because you Know how jonathan “avatar of guilt and self-flagellation” sims is gonna feel if he willingly brought martin to a horrible trap
still perpetually annoyed at people seeing every annoying shithead promiscuous womanizer characters who show absolutely zero interest in men and being like WOW... BICON... LOOK AT THIS BISEXUAL! WHAT A BISEXUAL ! LOOK AT MY FUNNY HIMBO BISEXY! (I THINK HES BISEXUAL BECAUSE HES A SLUT)
“Weary of fighting the false pretexts she turned upon herself, and her own weakness, her self-doubts, suddenly betrayed her. Gerard had awakened the dormant demon doubt. To defend his weakness he had unknowingly struck at her. So Lillian began to think: “I did not arouse his love. I was not beautiful enough.” And she began to make a long list of self-accusations. Then the harm was done. She had been the aggressor so she was the more seriously wounded. Self-doubt asserted itself. The seed of doubt was implanted in Lillian to work its havoc with time.”
— Anaïs Nin, from Ladders to Fire, 1946.
Roger’s outburst at James in We Happy Few’s “They Came From Below” DLC about how he refuses things that aren’t cut and dry and fit to his ideals made me think “it’s the internalization of the external homophobia he experienced and he’s trying to pin that vitriol on James by saying he can’t accept his differences because he grew up being ‘different’ and being ostracized by people when he was finally just living his life and being happy and the way James is handling things reminds him of that time in his life”. anyway i have a lot of feelings and part of it comes from being able to understand a lot of the old sci-fi references in this DLC and being excited about that. the other part comes from the line “i think it's time for you to come home, Puppy” and why Roger is nicknamed Puppy/Pup in the first place (and it’s because half the time he doesn’t listen to what he’s told to do and is excitable).