Stinky goblin man
Stinky goblin man
Thor (2011) AU where we explain Loki's Aesir-ness by making him half Frigga's son and half a Jotun's son, aka the result of an affair, which absolves Odin of stealing a baby during war times but not of how he treated him his whole life, also opens up the guilt-tripping way of "I didn't have to take you in, but I did, 'cause I'm that good of a person, now obey me :)". I guess we can keep canon of Loki killing the Jotuns to please Odin and then everyone's like "oh shit, you did exactly what we would have done but it's you so it's evil, yeah jump off the bridge boy" and then somehow, we get IronFrost out of it.
your first introduction to Aaron Stack/Machine Man being Earth X and THEN reading Nextwave is a real tonal whiplash, i can tell you that
a/n: welcome back to part four of things the avengers aren’t allowed to do! you can find the other parts in my masterlist. the next part will be posted on my best friends tumblr @youlightmeupfinn. happy reading!
The Avengers Initiative states,
Upon becoming an Avenger, each party shall read over these guidelines and sign their name, stating that they hereby agree to the terms and conditions of the DO NOT's of being an Avenger. Shall a party break any of these rules, punishment is certain.
1. Stop asking Groot if he is the Lorax who speaks for the trees (cue super angry I Am Groot response)
2. No personal spa days. Thor almost burned the tower down with wax
3. Furthermore, do not leave candles burning overnight
4. Steve and Bucky are not allowed to pay someone to make Stucky art for them
5. Thor is not allowed to leave his hammer on the toilet seats
6. Peter is not allowed to dress up as Iron Man for Halloween this year
7. Do not touch Thor's secret stash of food
8. Stop asking Steve, Bucky, Thor, and Loki if they are eligible for social security
9. Stop using Thor's hammer as an axe for wood chopping, you can't even lift it, you're not worthy.
10. Stop shrinking Steve's shirts in the washer
11. Furthermore, also stop shrinking Bucky's shirts (Sam, we know it was you)
12. Bucky must stop flirting with Sarah Wilson. He is not emotionally stable to be a step daddy. He can only become one after two years of therapy
13. No more than ten people in the elevator
14. Do not refer to Hulk as a Skinny Legend, it only makes him upset
15. Morgan is not allowed to put makeup on Loki. Or any Avenger for that matter
16. You can only listen to Christmas music after Thanksgiving
17. Furthermore, Tony cannot decorate until after Thanksgiving
18. The rest of the Avengers are not allowed to go to the pumpkin patch and leave Peter. He cried the last time
19. Stop trying to explain Pikachu to Thor
20. Stop asking Sam why he can't be referred to as a Bald Eagle. Just because he is Cap's side kick, does not mean he should be attached to an American bird
21. Doctor Strange is not allowed to make whirlpools in the Avenger's swimming pool
22. If you post any photo on social media, you must tag the respected Avenger who is in the picture with you
23. Stop asking Doctor Strange if his powers are inspired by the game Portal
24. Thor and Peter are not allowed to watch Spongebob together
25. Because you know what's better than 24? 25. Get it? No, ok.
26. Wanda and Natasha are not allowed to shave their heads to look like Nick Fury
27. Stop trying to teach Sam how to twerk, he already knows how
28. Scott is not allowed to play the FitnessGram Pacer test over the Tower coms
29. You must always clean after up yourself
30. Sam and Bucky are not allowed to recreate Get Help
Stephen: Tony are you okay??
Tony: I just saw a skyscraper and it turned into a dragon but then it was a skyscraper again it’d just lied to me
Stepgen: … checking the box for ‘no’
Word Count: 2267
Chapter 5 | Chapter 7
You groggily awoke in your room, body still sore from the procedures of yesterday. What did happen again? You remembered that ███ ███ ███████ ██████ ██ ████ ████ ██████. What? You don’t remember actually. You just remember the feelings of pain and exhaustion.
What day was it? No mind. That’s not important. You just knew your routine. Get up, change into your uniform, proceed to the lab for further testing and examination.
Once your white bodysuit and full face mask was donned, with haste you made your way to the lab. As you walked down the hall to the lab, you couldn’t help but pause and look into the two adjacent observation rooms on the left. In one room there was a silver haired man who blurred from one corner to the other with unbelievable speed. In the other, a redheaded woman who manipulated a mysterious red energy to move things without touching them.
‘More test subjects. Merely that and nothing more. They even volunteered for this.’ A voice whispered in your head.
Soon enough, you found yourself being strapped down to a table and more samples of your blood taken out. By the time you were weak and unable to move, it happened.
A distant explosion sounded and, as if on queue, an alarm sounded off throughout the compound, ringing and echoing in your ears, soon followed with a message spoken by whom you recognized as Strucker.
“Report to your stations immediately. This is not a drill. We are under attack! We are under attack!”
A second after the first alert came out over the speakers, another voice rang out in the room, laced with a thick German accent, “Avengers! The Avengers are closing in!”
Commotion filled the room as people scrambled about in a panic. You were left on the table, seemingly forgotten before one lone assistant burst back into the room to undo your restraints before taking off again into the hallway. You could barely move after being drained of so much blood. You knew your purpose. Just a prototype. Just to be used for whatever is needed.
“Y/n, up up! You are to escort Baron Wolfgang von Strucker to the extraction point.” One of the assistants called out to you through the intercom.
Without hesitation, you forced yourself to your feet, ignoring the splitting headache and weakness in your body. In the distance you could hear shouts and gunfire, but you remained focused on your mission. Well, mostly focused.
‘Avengers… Aven-gers…’ you thought, ‘why… why does that sound… familiar…?’ But before you could think back further, your head felt fuzzy as if there was a wall in your mind.
You made your way back down the hall, the observation rooms from before were now empty. The thought quickly left your brain and you proceeded forward as ordered. As always. As you should.
“Language.” Steve spoke into his earpiece.
The Avengers closed in on the compound, just a snow powdered forest in their way.
Many HYDRA soldiers were stationed throughout the forest, anticipating an attack. The Avengers fought together, the Hulk muscling down entire jeeps, Iron Man and Thor taking out soldiers flying in on jetpacks, Black Widow and Hawkeye working tactically eliminating targets, and Captain America at the head of it all, leading the team on his motorbike while subduing attackers as well.
“JARVIS, what’s the view from upstairs?” Steve spoke into his earpiece while maneuvering around trees.
“The central building is protected by some kind of energy shield.” the AI voice responded. “Strucker’s technology is well beyond any other HYDRA base we’ve taken.”
“Loki’s scepter must be here. Strucker couldn’t mount his defense without it.” Thor’s voice resonated throughout the earpieces. “At long last…”
“‘At long last” is lasting a little long, boys.” Natasha spoke with a sense of exasperation laced with sarcasm.
“Yeah. I think we lost the element of surprise.” Clint added with an annoyed tone.
“Wait a second. No one else is going to deal with the fact that Cap just said ‘Language’?” The witty and sarcastic voice of Tony joined the array of voices.
“I know… just slipped out.” Steve mumbled as he dismounted his bike before throwing it at incoming attackers.
The Avengers continued to fight in the forest while Tony closed in on the base from the sky, analyzing the energy shield protecting it.
“Sir, the city is taking fire.” JARVIS alerted Tony.
“Well, we know Strucker’s not gonna worry about civilian casualties.” Tony groaned. “Send in the Iron Legion.”
Soon enough, a group of automated Iron Man drones flew in towards the city neighboring the HYDRA compound. Hellfire rained onto the innocent people, causing Tony to redirect his attention to protecting the civilians from Strucker’s attacks. Unexpected to Tony, the civilians did not greet his drones with the praise he is used to, instead shouting at them and attacking the drones.
“We will not yield! The Americans sent their circus freaks to test us.” Strucker spoke to his men while you waited aside for him to finish, not daring to interrupt him. “We will send them back in bags. No surrender!”
“No surrender!” the rest of the room shouted back.
You stood there silently, awaiting command. As soon as the other men left the room, Strucker leaned in to whisper to his second in command
“I am going to surrender. You delete everything. If we give the Avengers the weapons, they may not look too far into what we’ve been-”
“The twins.” The other man interjected.
“They are not ready to take on-”
“No, no, I mean… the twins.” The man gestured into the other room where the twins were called to await further orders. To your shock, they were not there.
You had to take a moment to process what you had just seen and heard. Strucker going to surrender? Yet he just sent out his soldiers to their deaths no doubt.
‘Shut up. You are by no means of any position to question him.’ Your conscience berated you.
In a flurry, Strucker commanded some soldiers out into the field to retrieve the twins as soon as possible. You followed Strucker as he maneuvered his way throughout the commotion. After walking only a short while, the entire building shook as you heard another explosion in the distance.
“Shields are down. Perimeter breached.” An automated voice alerted you over the PA system.
Strucker picked up his pace without warning, leaving you to struggle to catch back up with him. If you failed to fulfill your orders in protecting him, no doubt you’ll be sent back to the lab for another wipe and reprogramming. Explosions and screams echoed in the building as you continued down a set of stairs, heading further to the extraction point. You continued further and further before heading up a different set of stairs.
‘The extraction point is just beyond here. So close-’
You thought to yourself. Beginner's mistake of premature celebration. Suddenly, one of Strucker’s men flew in backwards from the door on the left, a man garbed in red, white, and blue stepped through shortly after.
‘Wait… I… I know this man… Don’t I?’
You knew you recognized him, but when you tried to concentrate and think about who he was, your brain grew fuzzy and a splitting headache pierced through your skull.
‘No. Focus on the task. This man can’t get in our way. No matter what.’ You defensively stepped in front of Strucker, putting yourself between him and this man.
“Baron Strucker...” The man spoke coolly. For a brief second, his eyes flashed over to you and he frowned before refixing them onto Strucker once again, “HYDRA’s number one thug.”
You stiffened at his words and stepped back, gesturing to Strucker to do the same as the man took a step closer.
“Technically, I’m a thug for S.H.I.E.L.D.” Strucker responded.
The man continued towards you both as you continued to try to increase your distance, leading him to circle you.
“Well, then technically you’re unemployed. Where’s Loki’s scepter?”
Loki? Why does that name sound familiar as well? Is that this guy’s name? No… you know that’s not right. Suddenly a flash of an image appeared in your mind. It went by too fast for you to understand what you were seeing, but suddenly a cold shiver of unexplainable fear washed over you with a shiver. You fought hard to resist any shaking, knowing you needed to not show any fear to the enemy.
“Don’t worry, I know when I’m beat.” Strucker responded, oddly calm. “You’ll mention how I cooperated, I hope.”
“I’ll put it right under ‘illegal human experimentation’. How many are there?”
As the two spoke, from the shadows on the other side of the room you noticed an approaching figure and your defenses increased once more as your previous fears and thoughts dissipated. However, as the figure continued forward, you relaxed ever slightly.
The female twin approached silently. You furled your eyebrows, trying to avoid giving any indication to the strange man of her appearance. Quietly, Wanda continued her approach making her way right next to the man before releasing the red energy from her hands and sending the man flying down the stone staircase. Almost unphased, the man ran back up the staircase and Wanda retreated outside.
‘Where are you going?’ You frowned to yourself as she ran off. You were caught off guard by this but then redirected your attention to the man while getting into an defensive position, expecting an attack.
“We have a second Enhanced. Female. Do not engage.” The man spoke into an unseen earpiece.
You began shifting into an offensive position but Strucker quickly whispered to you, “No. Head to the extraction point. Do not turn back here under any circumstances. Do not allow yourself to be captured.”
You were surprised at his order but knew not to question or resist it. Swiftly, you turned to the door, dodging the man’s swing as he attempted to strike you with his metal shield. You quickly bolted out the door and ran to the extraction point, only hearing what you could presume to be the distant sound of the man’s shield connecting with Strucker’s face. You couldn’t help but to grant yourself a small, fleeting smile at the thought.
You continued to run, not stopping for even one second or allowing yourself the privilege of looking back. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Wanda walk into one of the adjacent rooms where the aliens were stored. Shortly after, a blue and white blur entered the same room.
You continued to run. Eventually you made it to the extraction point. There awaited a black, HYDRA plane. One of the directors of a different HYDRA compound awaited you there, accompanied by the doctor from before and his assistant, Ms. Ivanov.
“Agent Specter, where is Baron Strucker?” The director asked darkly.
“He ordered me to the extraction point without him shortly before being captured by one of the Americans; a man in a suit of blue, red, and white.”
“Ah, the Captain of America…”
Your brain began to fuzz at the sound of that name, but you didn’t have time nor the willpower to ponder as to why.
“Well then, you will be coming with me to your new base of operations. And while we are at it, might as well… fine tune some things…” The director smiled darkly, sending goosebumps throughout your body.
You knew exactly what this meant. You were going to be wiped again. A nearly blank slate left with only a few fuzzy memories here and there and the knowledge of what happened and who you belong to and serve.
“Now, Doctor Mikhail, Ms. Ivanov, if you would lead the Specter on board and prep her so we can quickly go about the process the moment we land, that would be just… fantastic.” The man spoke once more, his voice dripping with sadism and sludge.
Following his orders exactly, Doctor Mikhail and Ms. Ivanov led you onto the plane and over to one side where they stripped you of your suit and took your vitals.
After approximately 2 hours of flight, the plane landed just outside of Siberia. The chilly air nipped at your skin the moment the doors opened, only barely becoming more tolerable once inside the new compound. Wordlessly, you were led to another sterile medical room, almost identical to the one from before. The main difference was that this one stank of death and vileness. A familiar looking machine came into view as you were rapidly sat inside of it and hooked up to it in quick succession.
You saw only pure white for a moment until it faded and you were sitting upright in a room filled with medical gear and other tools; a putrid stench burned your nose.
Doctor… Mikhail… and… Ms. Ivanov... They spoke under their breath before the latter left the room, returning shortly after with the director. You slowly drew your gaze to the man.
“Призрак… поврежден… блеклый… выбрасывать… назначения… девиантный… слепой… разбитый… пустой… смерть.”
“Prizrak… povrezhden… bleklyy… vybrasyvat'... naznacheniya… deviantnyy… slepoy… razbityy… pustoy… smert’.”
Those… words… the same words you’ve heard a thousand times. The words that have been ingrained into your brain with fire.
You locked eyes with the man, awaiting his next words.
“Hello Agent Specter…”
In a robotic tone, beyond any control of your own, you responded, “Я готов отвечить.”
“YA gotov otvechit'.”
“Your next mission, return the Winter Soldier to us.”
Tony Stark - requests open
- mostly just him right now, sorry : (
my frostiron soulmate fic is turning into a loki: child of thanos au because i don’t know how to stop and i dont regret it
Since Tumblr's closing down the group chat feauture soon, here's just a few marvel discord group chats you can join:
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Or checkout https://disboard.org/search for any other discord servers your looking for :)
Hannibal: Listen Maggie, I wouldn't ask this unless it were important, and I know you've got a waiting room full of people out there, but if I wanted to drive someone over the edge, could I do it?
Face: I'm living proof of that, sir.
Saw this in a shorts vid and I swear I had the same reaction lmao
TW: eating disorder
You knew it was going to be difficult; you knew it all right but you didn't think it was going to be THAT hard.
The meals had become so unbearable that you had tried in every way to escape. With chores, with work ... whatever seemed better to you than sitting down to eat with Wanda and Natasha who were next to you and "forced" you to eat everything on that damn list.
You couldn't take it anymore and that was exactly what you would have said to Diane in today's session if she hadn't stood you up. You didn't blame her, she had a fight with her wife of hers and she had to be forgiven and you're a good person so you told her she didn't do anything and that you were fine.
Of course, that wasn't true and it isn't true now. There are two hours to lunch and you already feel on the verge of a panic attack.
You're at work and yet you can't help but think about the French toast you're going to have for lunch and the very thought of it makes you want to throw up.
The sound of the shop door opening distracts you from your thoughts. You are surprised when you see Diane walk in with her wife, Sydney.
You frown as they approach the counter.
"In case you didn't understand ... we made up." Diane smiles at Sydney and kisses her cheek.
"You are adorable," a spontaneous smile purses your lips as you set up a computer on the shelf to your right.
"After twelve years of marriage ... I learned to bear it"
You laugh as soon as you hear Sydney's words, followed immediately by a light slap on her shoulder by Diane.
"Diane told me that because of our little fight she canceled the session with you and I forced her to come and talk to you." Sydney squeezes your hand and gives you a small smile.
"Now I'll leave you alone, honey I'll wait for you at Starbucks"
Diane nods and the two kiss one last time before it's just the two of you left in the whole store.
"Are we alone?"
You nod and Diane smiles.
"How are you?"
You sigh, you motion her to follow you and after hanging the "CLOSED" sign on the door of the shop, you take her to the back, to Bob's office and sit on the two chairs in the room. Facing each other.
Diane sets her gaze on you staring intently at you.
"So ... how are you doing?"
You shrug and Diane takes a notebook and a pen out of her purse.
“I know this is not a conventional session but we are here now. This week is going to be tough y / n »Diane pauses and watches your body movements. Your shoulders are tense and you are closing in again, you have your arms folded under your breasts - a clear sign of closure on your part - and a stiff jaw.
“Y / n, you never work around lunchtime; you won't solve your eating disorder if you keep running away "
You stick your nails in your arms and Diane's words begin to flow in and out of your ears without leaving their mark. You don't want to listen to it, you hate that stupid diet and yes, you are doing what you always do, what you do best. You run away from your problems, always.
You stand up and Diane sighs, she already knows what you're going to say and she gets up too.
«This session will lead nowhere, you are not in the mood and I understand it but tomorrow come to the studio. If this diet doesn't work you already know that I will have to get you hospitalized y / n and I would really like to avoid it "
You say nothing as you see Diane walk out the door and hear the shop door open and then close.
"Fuck" you whisper running a hand through your hair.
"You can't do it right, can you?" you shake your head as some tears fall down your cheeks. You slide with your back against the wall on the floor and bring your knees to your chest by tucking your head between your legs.
You don't know how long you stay there but a little jolt shakes your body when someone strokes your shoulder. You jerk your head up - almost hitting the person in front of you - as you quickly wipe away your tears. Your neck hurts and you wonder how long you've been in that position.
"Hey" Wanda gives you a small smile as she hugs you in a hug.
Your body acts on its own and you hold the Sokoviana in your arms as you let go.
Sobs shake your body and Wanda's heart aches to see you like that.
You stay like this for a couple of minutes before you finally manage to calm down. You detach yourself from the embrace and do everything to avoid meeting the gaze of the redhead.
"What time is it?"
Your voice is hoarse with the effort and Wanda gently strokes her cheek as she replies.
“It's almost three, we got worried when you didn't come back and I came to check. Nat is out here, we came on foot "
Wanda smiles at you and that smile makes you feel slightly better. But the thought of food and the particularly lousy day you're having doesn't make you in a great mood. Not at all.
"I'll let you close the shop, then let's go back to the tower okay?"
Both her tone and her gaze do not allow for replies and you are forced to nod as you get up and prepare the shop for closing.
When you approach the door, having rigorously fixed everything, you can't help but think about the conversation that awaits you, most likely, as soon as you walk through the door of the store.
So you take a good deep breath before you hit the street.
The light forces you to close them for a few seconds. As soon as you reopen them, lock the shop and take the shutter down. For sure Bob won't set foot in the shop today and with a bit of luck you won't get a lecture for leaving earlier.
You reach out to your soul mates and give them a smile, pretend you haven't just gotten out of a panic and start walking with them at your sides.
You interlace your hands and the silence hovers over you, disturbed only by the typical noises of Manhattan.
In less than ten minutes you arrive in front of the Avengers' Tower and go inside by immediately taking the elevator.
Natasha pushes the button on the penultimate floor before turning to look at you. She gives you a smile and she gently strokes your hand.
"Wanda has prepared the French toast, it's probably cold now but we can heat it up, it'll take real-"
You smile - you try to make the most spontaneous smile you've ever done - while shaking your head slightly.
“I'm not really hungry, I think I'll go straight to sleep. I'm really tired and this day seemed endless "
Natasha just wrinkles her nose at your words if you bite the inside of your cheek. Disappointing them makes you physically ill, you had heard that it was one of the "side effects" of having at least one soul mate but you didn't believe it too much. In fact, you didn't believe it at all.
"We know you're not hungry but we can't leave you without eating, at least a sandwich ... please"
Wanda tells you as soon as you get out of the elevator, you leave a kiss on the knuckles and give you a smile.
"I make the best sandwiches in all of New York"
A small smile purses your lips and you nod. Just the thought of food makes you want to throw up but - and you can't explain why it happens - when you're with them you feel like you can do anything, even eat a fucking sandwich.
Wanda claps her hands, happy, and she immediately goes to the kitchen to prepare it for you.
Natasha grabs you by the hips and turns you towards her leaning her forehead against yours while she looks you in the eye
"You are beautiful" Natasha whispers to you a few inches from your lips and you want to protest but she kisses you. She asks for access and you grant it quickly. Natasha is like a lion locked in a cage, majestic and ready to attack.
She draws circles on your back and slides her hands over your butt pushing you even further into the kiss and making it even deeper.
Already disconnected for lack of air and Natasha smiles at you kissing the tip of your nose before taking a few steps away. She moves a lock of hair from in front of her face and a sigh from her escapes her lips.
“I just wish you would see yourself the same way Wanda and I see you; you are so beautiful moya lyubov »Natasha's voice barely cracks. For anyone other than Wanda, the widow is still holding the mask high and yet you can feel that tremble in her voice and her eyes particularly bright.
You draw her into a hug and you don't know how long to stay like that but you only break away when Wanda calls you from the kitchen.
You Give Nat a last squeeze and while she reaches the Sokoviana in the kitchen you, even if you are an unbeliever, begin to pray to whatever or entity or person there is up there as long as you send it good and you can eat that damn sandwich.
Thanks for reading! I am very sorry for the short chapter but I have started school again and I really have to go to sleep so I will post another part tomorrow. Thanks for your patience, leave a comment if you want <3
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Pepper: Do these earrings make me look fat?
[power goes out and they can’t see each other]
Tony: Oh thank god
👀 the new Polished for Days Autumn Leaves collection has this polish called Scarlet Oak which is very red and gold 👀👀
Iron Man #100, July 1977, written by Bill Mantlo, penciled by George Tuska