#jaemin smut Tumblr posts

  • lostlovesoul11
    27.01.2022 - 17 hours ago
    [OPEN WIDE ]
    [PART 2]

    pairing: fuckboy haechan x reader

    including best friends: jaemin, jeno and jaehyun x ( ft teacher doyoung)

    don't read if underage pls 18+ content

    warnings: pure smut, exhibitionist kink, double penetration, orgy, anal sex, overstimulation, voyuerism, orgasm denial, edging, oral sex, blowjobs, cum, breast play, teasing, teacher, univeristy, classroom, getting caught, needy reader, name calling, sir kink, needy hyuck, jealous fucking, mastermind hyuck, slight sadist, masturbation, slight humiliation, shame, pure filth, desperation, spankings, choking.

    word count: 4.6k

    [probably is my longest fic I've written, got too carried away lmao, didn't think of doing this but did and ofc had to add my fav doyoung. thank you everyone who have been liking all my posts esp part 1 of this story which received the most notes! by no means I'm no writer or anything of such, I just like reading smut and started writing it for myself randomly until I received likes on my posts lol]

    PART 1

    [17.28pm] Haechan: ready to get your mouth stretched out again slut?

    the message come on to your screen and excitement gushed through you. Its been weeks since you felt so good, yes you've been with other guys at uni but something about haechan and his friends was so so different. you had the fucking time of your life. but there also something bothering you. you don't normally let guys fuck you, you just let them use your mouth. its a strict policy you have. after having Haechan's request done, you really want to change that. you want them to use your body and every hole of yours too.

    [18.02PM] You: I'm ready. When and where?

    [18.03PM] Haechan: Meet us in the classroom behind the lecture room, tommrow. At 5pm. Don't be late slut.

    [18.04PM] You: okay I'll be there.

    you felt quite confused? being used to comitting your sexual acts in the guys bathrooms, this is something new. this time you really have no idea what to expect, you're conflicted in the mind yet tempted to see what's in store for you.

    the day finally arrives. in each lecture you could barely even concentrate thinking of what is possibly going down later. one of your lectures, your teacher Mr Doyoung even noticed you wasn't being attentive as you normally do. he clears his throat before he speaks.

      "Can you pay attention, this is really important information for your assignment". Mr Doyoung said.

    "Sorry sir I will pay attention now" you responded.

    "what is wrong with me? you think to yourself. its not like its your first time doing sexual things, however its different with Haechan and his friends. you do not know what to expect especially after his wild request. curious thoughts is all you have now.

    finally you finished your lecture. most people had left to go since classes are finished for today. so here you was looking at the time on your phone, exactly 4.55pm. to be honest you felt something tight in your chest. perhaps nervousness. you normally are the one in control on what and where to be, you know what to expect but this time, the very first time you don't have the control. it does make you feel slight anxious, not knowing what to expect. and the thought of being in a classroom where anyone can walk in to does make you feel somewhat nervous. its a first to let others take the lead. you tell yourself its going to be just fine, small breathes. you want this just as badly. You already feel arousal thinking about the last time. there you are, walking towards the lecture. it was empty, no one at sight. you felt relieved and walked your way to the hidden classroom behind. just as you opened the door, you see Haechan sat right on the chair. you felt arousal just by seeing his beautiful face and sexy thighs well spread out.

    "5 minutes early huh? Someone is pretty eager to get stuffed with a bunch of cocks"

    he walks over to you taking slow and intimidating steps. you dont realise that you've pushed yourself behind a wall. no where else to walk back. stopped at your tracks, you finally made eye contact. Haechan's gaze is so intense, watching you in amusement seeing you look so confused and startled. he leans in closer giving a cold whisper. "You're probably wondering why I choose this place, right?" he said it in a sultry voice. feeling shivers going down your body,  having no idea why you can barely say a word. ever since you came across Haechan, he left a quite different impression. he was intimidating yet nice? he brings his finger on your mouth, you felt desperate being the needy bitch you are and sucked it. He laughed, "you're cute".

    but it seems like he had other plans. he brought his fingers down to your chest, circling your hardened nipples then pinching them hard. "Mmmm." slowly trailing his finger further down to your wet panties. "Tsk I've barely even touched you and you're already soaked, slut". you let out small moans. just having him at close proximity to your body, moving his fingers makes you feel so frustrated.

    "You think I didn't notice you begging to get your pussy touched that day?". you felt  exposed infront of Haechan, he manages to see right through your acts despite you not trying to show it. the sudden intrusion of his finger inside of your wet pussy makes you gasp so hard, "fuck! you moaned out. He pulled his finger out without warning, leaving you deprived. "Hae-chan please.." you begged. He grabbed on to your hair and pulled it hard. "Answer me slut!". You felt so deprived and wanting him inside badly. "Yes, yes Haechan I..  wanted my pussy touched.. i wanted to feel everyone's cock.. inside of me..". Haechan got his fingers near your folds, teasing you before he shoved them deep inside. "Fuck haechan.. your fingers feels so..good" you immediately started riding his fingers like its a cock, loving the way they feel inside of you. "Be a good slut and make my fingers dirty" he says and you felt yourself coming to climax. His fingers felt like heaven, you couldn't stop moaning out and creating a mess. As he got his fingers out, haechan seductively sucked your wetness off. "Mm taste so sweet my pretty slut".

    it was weird to think only Haechan was here. To be honest he created a bigger impression on you. before you entered you had wished to see him first, you know love how he makes you feel with his dirty words and gaze. you love how he knows how much of a slut you are. just as that happened, the classroom door opened. Walking inside you see familiar faces, Jaemin, Jaehyun and Jeno.

    "Yo haechan why you always first?" Jaemin asks. To be fair even you wondered the same thing too.

    "Had the stretch the pussy out before you fuckers get inside it".

    "Damn her panties are soaking bad, so eager to feel us inside?" Jeno said.

    "Clothes off now" Jaehyun ordered as he pointed at you.

    you begin to strip your clothes off after Jaehyun demanded you. Jaemin told you to leave your soaked panties on whilst you removed the bra. the guys were in awe of your body, an hour glass shape with a nice ass and perky tits. instantly you felt all hands touching your body. Every hand made you feel a bolt of electricity in your body, never feeling such exposure of four guys watching you without anything on. making you feel sensations you've never felt before.

    Jaemin came from behind and pulled you down to sit on his lap, feeling his hard cock against your ass. as you did, Jaehyun moved his hands to your tits and cupped them in his hands.

    "So nice and juicy" immediately noticing how hard your nipples are he took the left breast in his mouth and sucked it off. massaging the right breast before he brings his whole mouth inside of it. "Mmm.." you started to moan. Jaehyun looks so attractive having your tits inside his mouth. The thought of sharing every part of yourself to everyone made you so so wet. "You like when I suck your plump tits don't you?"

    "Yes.. Jaehyun I love it..".

    when Jeno was approaching closer, you subconsciously spread your legs. "Fucking needy bitch" he said as he moved your panties aside, watching how your pussy is dripping. "Look at this pussy begging to get fucked" Jeno brings himself between your legs, moving his tongue all around your pussy and entrance, swirling his tongue onto your clit. you felt his tongue enter inside of you and penetrate through your pussy. "You like having Jaehyun touch your tits whilst I tongue fuck your pussy, don't you slut?". "Mmm feels so good.. more Jeno".

    Haechan tells everyone to stop and get you  on the desk. Jaemin picks you up and places you on the desk. "Please fuck my pussy.." you whined out.

    "Go on Jeno, fuck the slut" said Haechan. You was surprised he didn't want to nor did he touch you after what happened. Lowkey misssing feeling Haechan's touch and wanted to feel him so badly. But ofcourse Haechan had other plans. He just wanted to watch you get used.

    Jeno comes near the opening of your pussy and puts his head inside, then his inches until he was all the way in. "Fuck you gasped. Jeno had a huge cock. He began to grind himself on to you. Whilst he was fucking you into you, Jaehyun and Jaemin got their hard cocks out. You had your eyes closed in plessure not realising that someone took your wrist. Jaemin got your hand on to his cock and made you stroke him. He was masturbating off with your hand. you gripped on to his hard cock and let him use your hand as a guide to pleasure himself. Meanwhile, Jaehyun rubbed his cock, grabbing your hair he pushed his cock inside of your mouth. "Her wet pussy feels so good around my cock, suprised a slut like you has such a tight pussy mm" as Jeno moved his pace faster quickly.

    "Fuck you use your mouth so well slut" Jaehyun says bringing his cock out, rubbing it on your wet lips before he enters inside your wet mouth once again. you moaned yourself on his cock as you felt pleasure in all ways. Jeno was fucking you so good, feeling his hard strokes hit you. using your tongue you swirled it all over Jaehyun's cock. "Don't tease me with your tongue slut, im coming inside of your pussy".

    you felt so deserpate with your moans as you got every part of you used. Jeno went faster, feeling shivers down your spine as you both moved fast. "Fuck gonna cum inside this dirty pussy of yours" he says, feeling the hot cum drip inside of your pussy.

    "Jaehyun you're next to fuck her".

    he was so excited to finally get inside of you.

    immediately got his cock inside of you and began thrusting. "Fuck such a wet pussy making my cock feel soaked".

    you love getting your pussy used by us don't you whore?" You didnt answer him so he thrusted into you harder, making you gasp out loud. "Yes! I love getting my pussy destroyed by everyone's cock..  feels so good".

    Jaemin was getting too desperate. He wanted to feel how its like inside of your tight hole. Suddenly you felt yourself get lifted and placed on his lap. This was different, you felt his cock insert inside of your tight ass hole. "Oh my.. god fuck Jaemin!".

    "Fuck me, ever had your ass fucked slut?". You nodded no. Jaemin slid his cock inside of your ass, you moaned in pain and pleasure. Holding you by the hips, burying his cock deep inside of your ass. "Lads her ass is the tightest.. fuck she's clenching my cock already". Moving around he changed positions, standing behind you instead,  making your legs spread out. Jaemin spits right inside your ass making it extra wet and pleasureable. You loved feeling Jaemin in your ass, looking back at him with tears begging to feel his cock inside again. "Want to feel your cock... Jaemin please give me".

    "Such a needy cockslut, can't get enough of having your pussy fucked that you need my cock inside your ass too".

    Jaemin thrusted inside of you from behind, "fucking slut, want me to fuck my cum inside of your tight hole?".

    He kept thrusting deeper, seeing you in pain that changed into pleasure because you loved feeling him inside of your ass. Jaehyun made you sit on him instead. "Ride my cock whore wanna see those tits bounce". You start slowly riding but clearly wasn't enough for Jaehyun. "So fucking useless, want me to do all the work you slut". 

    Hugging on to your upper body tightly with his arms wrapped around you, he forced his cock inside your pussy. His pace was roughness, you felt sweaty and slightly out of place. "Fuckkkk this.. feels so nice".

    "Bitch you like the way I fuck your used pussy like this" feeling Jaemin hit harder strokes into your ass the pleasure of feeling penetrated at the same time was the best feeling you ever had. "She loves it bro, she can't wait for us to make her holes dirty".

    "You love having Jaemin fuck your ass while I fuck your dirty pussy up don't you slut".

    "Yes love feeling you both inside me, want to be filled".

    Jaehyun fastens his pace as he can feel you clench on his cock. You're literally a soaking mess. "Fuck bro I've never seen a slut's pussy so wet" Jeno said. You bring your hand on Jeno's cock desperate to have inside your wrecked mouth.

    "Jeno fuck her mouth up".

    As he heard that, Jeno entered his huge cock inside of your mouth. Giving it slow strokes, you felt tears coming down your face. It was too overwhelming and overstimulating for you to have 3 cocks at the same time. But you fucking loved it. "Mmmh love feeling my holes fucked up like this.. feels.. too... too.. good"

    "Fucking slut having three guys fuck all your holes, so pathetic" Haechan said.

    you wanted Haechan to join in too but he was too sick. He thrived off watching you be a pure slut, degraded and used.

    you feel the cocks inside of you twitch. "Gonna dirty your asshole with my cum whore", as Jaemin thrusted hard once more and cummed inside of your ass. At the same time, Jaehyun also fucked his cum inside of your wet pussy. the feeling of having cum run down from your ass to your pussy was amazing, feeling used by both.

    "You love having mine and Jaemins cum inside of you, making your holes filled with cum slut".

    you couldn't even speak because Jeno was stroking himself inside your mouth. Soon enough you felt him grunt hard and he shot his hot cum inside of your mouth, which you swallowed all up. "Such a dirty girl she is, got all 3 cum in her holes" Jeno said.

    "She likes getting used, look at her she's begging to get Haechan to touch her after taking our cocks the slut".

    "Little whore still not satisfied is she? After we destroyed each hole of yours with our cum". Jaemin said.

    "Did my pretty slut enjoy having all holes filled up"? Haechan held your chin up. Its the first contact he's had with you since.

    "Yes.. i loved it.. so so much but..."

    "But what?"

    "Want to feel you fuck me Haechan" you said in your wrecked up state.

    He smirked, then pulled you by the hair. "Really are a cumslut ain't you? Desperate to get touched by me so bad."

    just as he spoke, someone tried to open the door. Everyone panicked slightly because who the hell could it be right now?

    Haechan scoffed. He felt annoyed because he was just about to have his turn and someone interrupted.

    as you looked up, it was none other than your teacher, Mr Doyoung.

    "What on earth is going on here?!!'' As he walked in seeing you fucked out with cum everywhere. Feeling suddenly humiliated and caught out.

    Mr Doyoung closed the door behind him as he entered the classroom heading towards everyone.

    "*readers name* seriously? Aren't you ashamed of yourself doing such acts? The rumours I heard were right then."

    "Sir, please.. its not what you think. Im sorry".

    "Guys I'm disappointed in you all. Haven't you heard of the saying, "sharing is caring?". Mr Doyoung smirked.

    "Woah you nearly scared us Mr Doyoung" Jaemin said. Everyone laughed.

    "Ofcourse we can share her, sluts like her just want every cock inside her pussy." Jaehyun said.

    Mr Doyoung made his way to your body. He wasted no time and removed his pants. his cock was out, rubbing himself all over your tits. you'd be lying if you said you never found Mr Doyoung attractive. He looked so sexy during your lectures, you can barely focus when he's teaching you. the times where you had a wet dreams about him, having his cock inside. this felt so surreal. no way is it coming true?

    "Ever felt a grown cock like this before pretty girl?"

    "No.. sir i have not".

    "Going to be a good girl and use that slutty mouth of yours to good use".

    he pushes his cock into your mouth. loving the way his cock is feeling inside of you. Your warm wet mouth making his cock sloppy. "Fuck those rumours weren't a lie, got a good mouth on you".

    Using your hands and giving it fast strokes, teasing the tip of cock with your tongue.

    "I bet you always wondered how i would feel inside your mouth, stretching that pretty mouth of yours, right?"

    "Mmm yes.. sir always"

    "Shit... fucking love when you innocently called me sir during lectures, made me want to bend you over my desk and fuck that little pussy of yours. But little did i know, you're just a massive slut begging to get stuffed".

    Before Mr Doyoung was about to cum, he shoved his cock inside of your cum filled pussy. "Is this why you wasn't paying attention in class? Thinking about having everyone's cock buried inside your pussy?" you just kept moaning feeling so much pleasure. "Answer my question" Mr Doyoung said as he gave a hard stroke for not answering his question.

    "Yes sir.. was thinking of getting my pussy filled.."

    unbelievable he thought. "If you make me cum like a good slut you are, I'll give you an A grade for your assignment". What a tempting offer that was. Obviously you would agree because your a slut after all. "Ofcourse sir I'm doing a good job aren't I? love feeling your cock inside me. Please dirty my pussy with your cum sir...please sir always thought of getting fucked by you".

    Mr Doyoung obviously couldn't control it any longer and started moaning. Fuck his moans were just as gorgeous as his face, pleasing to hear. In no time he shot his cum directly inside of your pussy.

    "Such a good slut you are, love how your pussy feels filled inside".

    Haechan was watching everything play out infront of him. its what he wanted to see and planned for you. to be extremely fucked out of your brains, wrecked and stuffed with everyone's cum. he did feel somewhat jealous, how you was praising Mr Doyoung and others. wanting to give you his final form, he awaited. the mixed feelings inside of him, anger, horny, needy and jealously raging, he was so aroused. you looked up and saw him approach you. feeling so much emotions at once. Fear. Excitement.

    "Missed me?" Haechan said. you nodded so fast, he was finally giving you attention.

    He knew you loved his fingers. A bit too much. so he purposely teased you, having his fingers inside and the other is rubbing your bruised clit. "Hae-chan you.. make me feel so good.." you were a moaning mess for him. How easily you was submissive to him. Haechan saw how your legs were beginning to tremble and he quickly stopped and pulled his fingers out of you. "What the fuck Haechan-"

    "Haven't you had enough fucking all my friends and Mr Doyoung? "Don't you have any respect for yourself? Shameless slut, wish your parents could see how much of a slut they have raised".

    you felt too fucked out of your brains, you just need haechan inside of you right now.

    "Please.. Haechan.. need you so badly" you literally sobbed as you spoke. As much as you loved fucking everyone in the room, Haechan was the one who made you feel the most without doing much. You've had a lingering tension with him since the first day. You always wondered how it would feel being wrapped by his beautiful cock.

    you was slightly embarrassed having to beg infront of everyone. everyone easily gave into you except Haechan and that mere fact made you want him even more.

    so desperate, you kneeled infront of him, perky tits out with your mouth wide open. Haechan couldn't take it anymore, seeing you be so submissive for him wanting him in any way he wants. he brings his cock out and your eyes widen. Its not the first time seeing his cock but its the best one you've seen. a thick grith and beautiful veins appearing. "Please" you quietly whined out. "Please what slut?" Your mouth was salivating just seeing it. "Want to feel you in my mouth". "My horny little slut, I'll let you do what you want if you earn it." He said.

    you smiled and started touching up his thighs, then leaving kisses making your way up higher. suddenly feeling his cock on your face, you got your tongue out and swirled the base of his shaft to the tip. as you kept swirling his tip, you closed your mouth and ran it over your wet lips.

    "Tsk that's not really earning it slut, seems like you don't want me to be inside of you"

    Hearing his response you took his whole thick grith inside of your warm mouth. You pulled his cock out as you kept shoving it deeper inside your mouth.

    "That's much better slut"

    just as you was continuing to take his length all the way in he stopped you.

    "What.. happened, didn't I earn it?" With a confused look to your face.

    "Eh you earned somewhat but I guess maybe not enough for me to fuck you"

    you was annoyed, still sexually frustrated yet tolerated everything. all you want is to feel him inside of you. being the desperate slut you are, you began to suck your own tits seductively, trying to get him to fuck you. No response. he just watched you like it was pathetic. Its not that he didn't like your huge tits, fuck he loved them. but he wanted to see how much more you'd beg. Being the slut you are, you bent over exposing your plumped ass. getting the saliva from your mouth to your fingers, placing them directly inside of your hole. All whilst watching him. "Please Haechan.. want your fingers in me the most. It feels so much better with yours than any one else's".

    "Not gonna lie she looks fucking sexy right now". Jaemin said and began to stroke himself off to you.

    "Having four cocks in every hole still aint enough you slut?" Jeno speaks.

    "She's our cumdump for a reason, she loved having me inside that pussy" Jaehyun said.

    It slightly annoys him hearing everyone comment on their experiences. The way you your pussy was swallowng their cocks inside and taking all their cum because your everyone's little cumdump. Haechan can't resist any longer and walks over to you. He spanked you so hard you whimpered. And he continued spanking you as your ass is bent over. The hurt you feel and can tell your ass is bruised already. Purposely you shake your ass only to receive the biggest spanks. "Fuckk.. you already can feel the pain as he hits you hard. You lost count of the amount of spankings given, feeling mixture of pleasure and pain. Moaning and crying out. Haechan stops it. His fingers stroked you and felt your pussy.

    "You're dripping wet slut".

    "Please ..Haechan" you say.

    "Please fucking what?"

    "Please fuck me please" in desperation you say.

    "Oh you want me now?" as he cockily says.

    "Yes, I want you inside of me"

    "I'm already inside of you, slut" as he shoved his fingers into you deeply.

    you moaned and sighed, "want more hae-chan.. want your cock inside..me"

    "Now you all will be watching how I fuck this needy slut of mine".

    as he came forward he touched your nipples, playing with his fingers before he brought them inside his mouth and sucked.

    He didn't wait much until he used his hands to cock your pussy up. Without knowing what's coming, he slammed his cock right inside of you. "Hae-chan.. fu-ck..." as he  thrusts almost savagely. You was so loud, a bit too loud. But that's what he wanted. wanted you to scream out his name so others could hear. That you're so desperate to have him than others. Your throat was hurting and struggled slightly to keep at it until you find his hands squeezing your throat, tightly. Finding that so arousing, your pussy literally tightened around his cock. This was far more brutal than others, you knew it was punishment of some sort and to always remember this day. feeling the tears coming down your fucked up face, barely having your eyes opened. He was balls deep inside of your pussy, thrusting in and out. Haechan fucked you like you were a useless toy and you loved it. Feeling used and for others to fuck themselves on. "Look at how tight your pussy is around my cock, so fucking good". You can hear him groaning near you. "Do my friends fuck you better like I do?"

    "No.. only you can!". He rams his cock even deep "you seemed to love having them stuff your ass and pussy full of their cum don't you? Loved the way Jaemin streched your tight ass hole out?". The only thing leaving your mouth are whimpers. "Even had a wet dream you said about Mr Doyoung, can he fuck you like this?"

    "No.. Haechan.. only you fuck me dumb"

    "See, only I know the way to pleasure you properly, had you begging for me even after having 4 cocks inside that dirty pussy of yours, fucking slut" he spat at your face.

    "If you wanna act like a slut, then I'll treat you like one".

    His hands roaming all over your body, his touch felt so over powering on you. You can almost feel yourself getting off. Just as you thought, haechan's thrusting got even violent. "O... my god... hae-chan...fuck..!" you orgasmed so hard. Feeling quite light headed, he grabbed on to you tightly. You felt overwhelmed by this pleasure.

    "Such a hot fucking slut, letting me take you from the ass. Only my cum makes you feel this good, only i know how to use your body, fill you up well, my personal slut".

    Hearing his words just overwhelm you even more, making you feel pleasured and satisfied.

    by each thrust getting deeper, you hear the way haechan moans out loudly. you love the sound of his moans, pretty like him. your wet pussy immediately clenched around his cock making him release a loud moan. he filled you up nicely, his hot cum shot inside of you making your hole dirty. he pulled his cock out and the remaining cum was dripping down to your thighs and legs.

    "Don't bother cleaning it up, want you to go outside and show everyone what a slut you are. Desperate to have my cum on you like a needy bitch"

    you looked back and saw everyone was literally getting off to you, cum dripping down their cocks. they watched the way Haechan fucked you so dumb. what a fucking slut you are.

    smiling, you felt so satisfied. having not 4 but 5 cocks inside of you. loving the way and how different each felt. you won't lie, Haechan was your favourite, your glad he waited til last because he fucked you stupid. It felt nice to hear how angry he got since you get off those things. It made your pussy even sensitive and throbbing like crazy.

    "My pretty slut did well taking all of our cocks inside your tight pussy, making us stretch not only your mouth but dirty pussy wide" Haechan says as he puts his thumb in your mouth as you sucked.

    lostlovesoul11

    #haechan smut#haechan imagines#jaehyun smut#jeno smut#doyoung smut#jaemin smut #nct 127 imagines #nct 127 smut #lee haechan x reader #nct haechan #nct reader insert #haechan x you #lee haechan #nct 127 scenarios #jaehyun imagines#jaemin imagines #haechan hard hours #kpop smut #nct dream donghyuck #nct 127#haechan scenarios#nct smut #lee jeno imagines #donghyuck x you #haechan x reader #haechan au#fuck boys #nct hard hours #kpop imagines#kpop scenarios
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  • luvno
    27.01.2022 - 17 hours ago
    #[💌] mail delivery !! #[🐰] taro's bunny !! #park jisung smut #jisung smut#nct jisung #jisung hard hours #jaemin hard hours #jaemin smut#nct jaemin#na jaemin#park jisung#nct smut #nct hard hours #me writing for jaemin and jisung ? dreams come true
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  • taecas
    26.01.2022 - 20 hours ago

    𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘄𝗮𝘆 𝗹𝗶𝗳𝗲 𝗴𝗼𝗲𝘀 — 𝗯𝗲𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘄𝗿𝗶𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴

    [𝐈𝐍𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐑𝐀𝐌]

    [𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐁𝐎𝐘𝐒: 𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐣𝐮𝐧, 𝐣𝐞𝐧𝐨 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐣𝐚𝐞𝐦𝐢𝐧]

    [𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐨𝐲𝐬 𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐨𝐧 𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐦]

    #twlg: instagram #twlg: behind the writing #fic: the way life goes #nct#nct au#nct fic#nct dream #nct dream au #nct dream fic #nct dream angst #nct dream fluff #nct dream smut #na jaemin#nct jaemin#nct renjun#nct jeno
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  • kinkymarkie
    26.01.2022 - 1 day ago

    pain addict na jaemin x fem!reader

    genre: smut, pwp, angst, one shot.

    word count: 2,6k

    warnings: really toxic, alcohol, swearing, jealousy, angry sex, agressive jaemin, name calling (whore, slut...), spitting, hair pulling, face slapping, crying, choking, mentions of throwing up, spanking, unprotected sex, creampie, no happy ending sorry :((

    a/n: is not as dark as the tags make it seem, enjoy ^^

    >:( jaemin : haechan's throwing a party tonight , u comin?

    ___: yeah

    >:( jaemin : nice, see you there ig

    you threw your phone to your bed leaving jaemin on read of course, you needed to act cold, you were not going to show jaemin how much you actually wanted to see him at that party that's not how it works. jaemin is a toy for you as much as you are a toy for him. that's how your relationship works. it sucks, it hurts, but neither of you were going to change that, you loved the pain, you were addicted to that pain.

    you put on your sluttiest clothes, eyes on you immediately as you entered haechan's house that was already a mess.

    "heeey ___ you look so good, damn! " you heard a voice coming from your side, recognizing jeno right away, you could call him a buddy, and one of jaemin's friends.

    he pulled you by his arm on your shoulders, he was drunk for sure letting out his clingy self. You laughed and smiled greeting him too.

    "come drink with us" you tensed a bit at those words, us meant his friends, his friends meant jaemin. but the thought of jaemin seeing you appear right under his friend's arm, that got you excited, but deep inside you, you wanted to be under jaemin's arm like that, you wanted him to greet you the way jeno did, you wanted him more than anyone, you didn't do anything for jeno to be that nice to you, why jaemin couldn't do that? why is he that much of an asshole?, oh but you loved the asshole, you loved the pain of being ignored by him, but you knew the way to get his attention , and it hurted him like shit but he was addicted too.

    you cleared your thoughts and looked directly into jeno's eyes "yes please, I'm thirsty as fuck" you said seductively licking your lips, jeno smiled at that letting a tiny gasp escape his lips, you knew exactly what you were doing, you didn't want him, he was just the trap jaemin was meant to fall in.

    the boy guided you to a table where his other friends were, you noticed jaemin wasn't there, a little presure getting off your chest, you relaxed into jeno's arm leaning into him a little bit, greeting the other guys and starting drinking.

    The night was quite fun, drink after drink, you were just the right amount of drunk , able to think straight but feeling really hot and carefree dancing to the really loud music, your body pressed to jeno's, his hands on your hips and his lips on your neck, you just thought about jaemin seeing you like this, shamelessly dancing with one of his friend, oh god he'd be so pissed at you, that simple thought made your core itch, the power that man holded on you without even being there was impressive. and as if you summoned him, you crossed glances with the guy of your fantasies, that actually were going to become real.

    you smiled looking directly into jaemin's eyes which squinted at the sigh of the scene, his jaw and fists clenched all his body tensed up feeling the anger fill his veins seeing your ass grind against his fucking friend crotch.

    he'd be lying if he said he wasn't avoiding you all night, he would look for you when he was drunk enough, and he wouldn't be surprised at the sight of you grinding to another man (not that he likes it), after all this was the stupid and shitty game you both played, but you decided to cross the line and go for one of his friends, damn he was so angry he could explode.

    you loved seeing the jealousy in his eyes even though you knew that it hurted like a stab right into his stomach but you did it anyway.

    he loves the pain and lets you do it anyway.

    jaemin bit the insides of his mouth making a motion with his head for you to follow him, maybe in other situation you wouldn't obey, ignoring him, dancing with someone as if he wasn't there, he'd loss his patience and would grab you roughly by the arm dragging you out there by himself. but today you felt the need to be a little nicer to him, maybe because you already did the worst, getting with one of his friends, so you better be good for him if you don't wanna die tonight.

    you turned back facing jeno excusing yourself, and taking his hands off your waist, leaving the guy standing there all confused.

    you approached jaemin with that inocent face of yours, he hated that, because you were nothing but guilty.

    his expression was filled with anger and you were a sucker for that, so turned on by angry jaemin, you couldn't wait for him to fuck that anger into you and leave you a babbling mess.

    you had that mischievous look on your face, that he hates as much as it turns him on.

    you hugged him taking your time to touch his chest and shoulders, "jaemin feels really good" you thought, the drunkness making you feel a bit soft and clingy, caressing him way to much for your like, and for his too. as much as he wanted he shouldn't enjoy your strokes that's not what this was about, it annoyed him "second floor bathroom, now" he whispered loud enough with any stuter into your ear making clear the order for you, he pushed you so he'd be out of your embrace making you stumble a bit on your feet by the sudden action, you laughed to yourself watching jaemin head to the second floor, making your way there too,

    he slammed the door letting you both inside, you jumped a bit at the loud noise watching jaemin lock the door and turn around to you.

    "you know exactly what you did" he looked at you furrowing his eyebrows together approaching you and taking you by your chin

    "you know how i was going to get when i saw it and you did it anyway" jaemin was so fucking hurt this time, he'll make you pay, he'll hurt you too even if he knew you would love it, he needed to see you suffer to feel better himself, that's how it was, that's how bad it was.

    he let go his hand of your chin and looked down for a moment, you heard him drop a perverse laugh and it made you swallow hard.

    you didn't have time to prepare for it when you felt your face slapped letting go a high whimper, jaemin agressively took your face by your cheeks with the hand that just slaped you making you look at him in the eyes just inches away from your face.

    "you fucking slut grinding into jeno like that, bet you'd let him fuck you too righ?" he tighted even more the grip on your face, what he said wasn't true, you just wanted jaemin, you wish you could tell him but you just couldn't. "he could fuck you, but not better than me, no one could ever fuck you and make you feel better than i do, fucking slut." he spitted on your face and realised his hand.

    he usually was hard, but this was new, he never spitted on you or slapped your face, he was crazy mad and you shouldn't be feeling that way, but you loved seeing him like this, you'd make jaemin feel this way all the time if this was going to be the aftermath.

    "on your fucking knees bitch" he said with a serious tone sitting on the toilet, you dropped on your knees waiting for the next command. jaemin unzipped his pants and pulled them along with his boxers a bit, letting his dick stand stiff, you licked your lips, crawling to him, stoping your movements just an inch away from his cock letting yourself admire it for a moment, capturing the image of jaemin's hard dick pointing towards you waiting for you to devour it, glossy tip begging for you to lick it, you were almost hypnotized. But the sudden aggressive grab of jaemin's hand on the back of your head took you back to reality, you loudly gasped opening your mouth to what jaemin took advantage of and shoved his dick in it with any warning, making you gag but not letting you go, infact, he pressed your head against his crotch even harder, deepthroating you, your nose and uper lip making contact with his pubes, tears forming in your eyes.

    "fucking yes ! oh fuck that's how you put on good use this filthy mouth of yours !" he said groaning loudly starting to thrust on you agressively, grabbing you by your hair and fucking your mouth, you couldn't barely breath you were literally choking on his dick it actually hurted so bad, everything happened so fast you didn't had time to think, but fuck you are a sucker for pain and loved the way his cock scraped your throat so fast you couldn't even try to take some air.

    Jaemin couldn't stop moaning and groaning, his voice deep and loud, so primal, using your mouth as you were an object. never letting go the grip on your hair. it was starting to get really hard to keep sucking him, you couldn't breathe, your face was covered in tears you couldn't control your eyes from letting them go and you could feel you were about to throw up, lucky for you jaemin pulled out just as if he could read your mind, you started coughing like crazy, finally getting some air back to your lungs, whipping the tears on your face, but jaemin wasn't planning on letting you rest, oh no, he got up, dragging you by the hand that never left your hair, pulling you up with him and placing your chest over the sink, not a single one of his movements are gentle, everything is fast and agressive, he doesn't care if it hurts you, and that's how you love it.

    Jaemin pulled up your dress and down your panties, his hand on your hair pulling your upper body onto the sink so you can't move. everything was so overwhelming to you, you were panting, your head spinning and your core aching, your skin so hot to the touch.

    "you fucking whore, how dare you grind this filthy ass against my friend, i think i have to remind you who this belongs to" jaemin laughed, you tried to look at him over your shoulder but suddenly you felt the sting of a hard slap on your right asscheek, letting out a breathy moan.

    "who's the owner of this ass? huh!?" another spank, your pussy twitched.

    "c'mon ___ is it jeno?" he stroked your left cheek before spanking it even harder, making your eyes fill up with tears again.

    "fucking say it slut!" you lost the count of times he slapped you.

    "no ! you are jaemin ! you own my butt, you own me, fuck !" you said sobbing.

    " that's fucking right bitch" another really hard spank, you cried out.

    "my hand imprint looks so good there, damn"

    he laughed and pulled you by your hair again, pressing his body against yours, you felt his dick on your sore butt, you wanted it inside you so badly, feeling the pool of your wetness dripping down your core.

    You felt jaemin's breath in your ear, giving you chills. he whispered calmly "take this moment I'm giving you to fucking breath and get yourself together, well, i don't think you can do that" he scoffed "you are already so fucked up, look at you, so fucking pathetic" the hand that didn't leave your hair finally did, but quickly grabbed your neck slightly cutting the air in your throat.

    you felt jaemin parting a bit from your back, and then you could finally feel the tip of his cock on your entrance, he thrusted agressively into you, groaning into your ear, you let out a moan that sounded really raspy due to the pressure jaemin's hand was putting on your neck.

    he entered you so easily thanks to your arousal, the hand on your neck returned to his favorite place, interwined between your locks, pushing you onto the sink again so he could fuck you from a better angle.

    he quickly started pounding into you very hard, the sound of both of your bodies smashing together mixed with moans filled that nasty bathroom.

    "fucking whore!" jaemin started spanking your ass again, while thrusting you like crazy, you swore you saw the stars, your eyes rolled to the back of your head and your legs trembling like crazy. jaemin's other hand wrapped around one of your still clothed boobs, squishing it roughly, making you scream because of the pain, he laughed at that, he was enjoying so much seeing you in pain, that kind of delicious pain that filled up all your senses and drove you mad.

    His movements started to get erratic indicating he was about to cum, you wanted so bad to cum too, but you needed- your thoughts were cut off by his hand on your clit moving fast, that's why you loved sex with jaemin, he always gave you what you most needed, just like reading your mind, it felt like magic, but it was just sex, as much as you wanted it to be so much more, that's how it was, that's how it was going to be, the only way to have jaemin was like this, sobbing with his cock inside you on a dirty bathroom at a party.

    you were about to explode so you did and came so hard on jaemin's dick, your head spinning, loud moans leaving your lips, whole body trembling. he came as he felt your insides tighten from your own orgasm, painting your walls with his seed.

    both of you were panting, out of breath, you helped yourself by grabbing onto the sink to avoid falling because of your weak legs. he fixed his clothes, recovering his breath, you started doing the same trying to avoid the eye contact.

    now the atmosphere was completely different, it felt really heavy, and the silence was so loud it made your head hurt. now that it was over jaemin and you would come back to acting like you always did, starting again with the loop, starting again with this fucking game of who can hurt most the other, but neither of you would change it because you were addicted to the pain, or maybe that's what you convinced yourself of, and you just were to damn scared to confess your real feeling for jaemin, because for him you were a toy right? oh little did you know that jaemin was in the same exact spot as you.

    jaemin couldn't help but look at you while opening the bathroom door before leaving, letting the loud party noise enter for a moment. he hated that he had to leave you there, but he knew that he couldn't stay, he knew you didn't want him to stay, he felt stupid, tears forming in his eyes, you turned to look at him at the door frame, but quickly he turned his head and closed the door, leaving you alone on that bathroom, alone whishing he could stay with you.

    #jaemin x reader #jaemin x you #jaemin x y/n #nct fanfic#nct smut #nct x reader #nct oneshot#nct scenarios#nct imagines#nct angst#nct reactions #nct dream smut #nct dream x reader #nct dream x y/n #nct dream imagines #nct dream fanfic
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  • h-yyuck
    26.01.2022 - 1 day ago

    [01:18 am]

    “look at me” the dark haired boy demand, his strong grip on your waist as he thrust you. your eyes locked on his chocolate gaze. “i bet he doesn't fuck you like this” said, and your legs answered, shaking as you feel your climax building up in your lower abdomen.

    “h-he doesn't”you said, moans coming out of your mouth.

    his face, contracted in pleasure, his brows frowned, his moans, his groans, his hips smashing your tighs as he fuck the shit out of you, what a beautiful view. you gasp and arched your back when his moves became harder, the coming tears forming in your eyes because of the overstimulation. sweat coming from his forehead. the wetness dripping your pussy, mixing with his precum. his theeth biting his lips, while his muscles flexed at every thrust. your body were numb, only feeling his hands on your waist, his eyes on your broken body, his voice filling the warm room, and your moans all over the place, feeding his ego.

    he leaned over and his cock buried deeper in your cunt, you swear you saw stars.

    “i know he doesn't, sweetie. i'm the only one who can get you look this dumb” his deep voice, full of lust let out a curse when you started pulsating around his dick, feeling how your climax brainwashed you and almost left you unconscious.

    i don't even know what is this, but enjoy. btw i'm thinking on open ask, if u have any ideas of what should i write let me know, i'll do my best iwkdjwj bye

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  • sibehpoor
    26.01.2022 - 1 day ago

    NCT Dream | Masterlist

    𝕣𝕖𝕢𝕦𝕖𝕤𝕥 𝕔𝕝𝕠𝕤𝕖𝕕 (𝒙)

    You can't translate nor repost my works on any platforms, thank you in advance♡

    a-angst

    f-fluff

    s-smut

    ☞ one shot -  none

    ☞  series -

    ✩ How Much I Love You/Hate You : I || II || III || Discontinued (a,f,s)

    ☞  drabbles - 

    ✩ #4 (f)

    ☞ one shot -  none

    ☞  series -  none

    ☞  drabbles - none

    ☞ one shot -  none

    ☞  series - none

    ☞  drabbles - none

    ☞ one shot -  none

    ☞  series - none

    ☞  drabbles - 

    ✩ 3,50 (f,s)

    ☞ one shot -  

    ✩ Our Little Adventure (f,s)

    ☞  series- none

    ☞  drabbles - 

    ✩ 48,54,65 (s)

    ☞ one shot -  none

    ☞  series - none

    ☞  drabbles - none

    ☞ one shot -  none

    ☞  series - none

    ☞  drabbles - none

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  • hyunjaesmut
    26.01.2022 - 1 day ago

    DUNK SHOT, PART 4

    na jaemin, fwb au

    pairing - jaemin x reader

    genre - smut, fluff, angst

    word count - 51k.. idk how it happened

    part 1 - part 2 - part 3 - part 4

    summary - your feelings for jaemin have never been stronger but when his ex comes into the picture, things start to get complicated, causing you and jaemin to drift further apart than you ever have before

    𝗰𝗵𝗮𝗽𝘁𝗲𝗿𝘀 𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀/𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗻𝘁𝘀 - blonde hair jaemin, fwb dynamic, strangers to lovers, so much dialogue, so much description, swearing, explicit language, mention of drugs, alcohol, drinking, he's super mysterious and sexy, photographer student jaemin, college au, nct '00 liners make an appearance throughout, so many soft moments between jaemin and reader this chapter, he takes care of her, looks out for her, shana opens up about family trauma to him, such sweet words and lingering touches like usual, reader gives jaemin a blow job, hot steamy shower sex, soft and affectionate things spoken between them, too many cute shana jae moments, so much fluff, but also angst damn, they argue, shana does smth fucking dumb, jaemin gets hurt, they try to make each other jealous, shana is in her feels like she's never felt before, shana overthinks everything, very sad and insecure thoughts from shana, she's really fucking going through it, tear jerker moments, insightful convo between shana and jeno, renjun and shana have an unpleasant encounter, more yangyang and shana moments, heejin comes back into the picture phew it gets intense, mentions of eds, poor body image, low self esteem, insecurities overthinking... the conversation about the feelings finally comes...

    ✩☆★

    You awoke from your deep slumber when you felt tight arms gripping your frame. You felt his presence immediately, it was hard not to. You rub your eyes, opening them to look into the dazed eyes of someone who was all to familiar to you.

    Jaemin was leaning over you, his lips now pressing kisses against your cheek as he smiled against it. His hands were gripping yours softly, he was holding on so tight as if he never wanted to let go.

    You weren't entirely used to this display of affection. It was the middle of the night and Jaemin had randomly come up to you and was kissing you everywhere.

    He presses sloppy kisses against your lips when he sees you look up at him. "Don't ever do that to me again." He somehow manages to say between kisses.

    You weren't used to this, he was kissing you so messily, so erratically. Normally his lips were smooth and calculated against yours, he always knew what pace he wanted to kiss you at and the level of sensuality. Most importantly, he knew what he wanted back from you.

    But now he was pecking you so many times that you felt like your lips were about to fall off. Why was he acting so unlike himself? Although you could taste bitter alcohol against his lips so that explained it.

    You instinctively loop your arms around him, bringing him closer to you before breaking the kiss to mumble, "Do what?" You mutter in confusion. You couldn't help the wave of affection that passed you, you pressed a chaste kiss against his forehead as you waited for him to respond.

    He steals a few kisses from your lips before answering. "Don't ever leave me without telling me where you're going again." You look at him in confusion for a few seconds as you have no idea what he's talking about. But then realisation hits you and every thought about what occurred the night before had come back.

    You were deep asleep so the thoughts didn't attack you. You were thankful for the fact that your mind was forced shut when you slept. You thought that you wouldn't be able to sleep without him by your side and spooning you but exhaustion must've hit you hard.

    As you wake up fully, feel his lips pressed against your skin and his ever so caring eyes doted on you, your brought back to the harsh reality. Memories of the night before hit you hard, they all came at once and without any warning.

    You remember all the harsh encounters you had with Hyejoo, Karina and Lucas. Your head spins as you feel as though you're living them again. Then you remember the words Jaemin had said. It had just been a couple of hours but there words were engraved in you, stuck on your skin.

    There's nothing be jealous of, it's just sex.

    You wanted to be mad at him, you wanted to distance yourself from him. But it was hard to when he was looking at you lovingly and kissing you so sweetly. He was your weakness, feeling his smile against your skin was your weakness.

    You then remember the conversation you had with Yangyang and your heart beat relaxes, only slightly. You would do what he said, to give Jaemin time and to wait for him. You had to be patient for once, you needed to understand that not everyone recognises their feelings as fast as you do.

    You felt all your worries subside when he moves next to you on the sofa, pulling his arms around you and securing you softly onto his body. You relaxed immediately, nestling your head against his chest.

    Seconds later you realise that it was only the two of you on the sofa, it was a huge sofa but you were taking up minimal space - you were so physically close to one another.

    You hold back a laugh as you notice Yangyang sprawled out onto the floor. He was by your side a second ago. He clearly wasn't there by choice, you could see from how his body was laying. "You know, you could've slept on my bed. It's empty."

    Jaemin's voice fills your head. You realise that he was the one to push Yangyang off from the sofa. You catch his expression, it's one that was all too familiar to you - he was wearing a very similar face to the one he was wearing when he catched you laughing with Yeonjun.

    He was clearly jealous, he didn't like the idea of Yangyang sleeping beside you.

    You felt your eyes dosing off. Your voice was thick was tire as you mumbled, "Exactly, the bed is too empty without you. I didn't wanna sleep with you not there."

    You were too tired to notice his exact reaction. But you felt the way his arms embraced your body more affectionately and the way he was smiling against your skin, pressing soft kisses on your forehead as he caressed your hair.

    You fully melt in his arms, sinking into his gentle body. It was becoming too easy to do so nowadays, you did it without double-guessing. You hated how your body so naturally relaxed in his hold. You could be angry at him but the very second his body makes contact with yours, the emotion subsides and all you feel is affection.

    You were about to fully doze off until he spoke up, his words stopping you from closing your eyes. "Don't sleep now -" He was about to finish off his reasoning for why but is cut off when you make a retching sound. He widens his eyes as he can almost see what's about to come.

    The sour and sick feeling burning in your throat made you empty your insides. You didn't notice where it ended until you heard him curse from under you.

    Your eyes soften as you look at him apologetically, feeling so bad that your vomit was all over him. He shakes his head, "It's okay baby." He smiles at you as he uses his hand to wipe vomit dropping from your mouth.

    You couldn't believe that he didn't look visibly grossed out by the sight of you. He wiped your sick with his hands as if it was not an issue. He kissed your lips that stank of vomit with no second guessing.

    He notices the way you're looking at him and he gets that heavy feeling that tugs his heart strings once again, he shakes it away and takes one look at you before coming to a decision. "Come on, let's get you cleaned up."

    He smiles, pulling his arm out for you to hold but when you don't take it, he carries you over his shoulder and up the stairs. You relax in his arms once again, melting into his grip.

    You look back to see Donghyuck leaning over Yangyang, helping him up and wrapping his arms around his back, helping a very drunken and tired Yangyang into his room.

    Into Donghyuck's room.

    You were sure that nothing of the sexual sort was going to happen but you knew that Donghyuck would be taking care of him and helping him overcome his very heavy hangover. The two of them took care of each other numerous times, when they were sick, upset, angry, drunk... you name it. You had never realised the weight of those actions and how much it would mean to Yangyang until now.

    Minutes later and you're sitting on the edge of his bed. He's kneeling in front of you and applying makeup remover to the cotton pad. He looks so attentive as he gently tugs at your face to remove the traces of makeup that stained your skin.

    He frowns as he sees trails of smudged mascara and winged eyeliner running down your cheeks. He looks up at you, his heart stopping for a second as he realises that you had been crying at one point of the night. He can see the evidence on your face.

    He gently kisses the areas of your face where the mascara dropped down too. His lips caress where your tears had fell and then dried. He hated the idea of you being upset and him not knowing. He hoped that you were okay now and if you weren't, he hoped that you could find comfort in telling him your worries. You always did so he prayed that it would be the case this time.

    He catches you dozing off once again, your eyes heavy as you struggle to stay awake. He could smell so much alcohol on you, your breathe was heavy with it when he had kissed you. When did you have so much to drink? He was the only one who was drinking when you were both together.

    That meant that you had only started drinking when you had left him. The thought makes him frown so hard. "How much did you have to drink?" He questions, pouring the liquid from the eye makeup remover on a cotton pad.

    You shake your head which makes him roll his eyes. "Not a lot." You lie and it was so obvious you weren't telling the truth, you were a terrible liar.

    "That's not true, you're not even walking properly I had to carry you." He replies. When you go silent, he decides to drop the subject and instead place a brief kiss to your eyes.

    He then uses the eye makeup remover, his lips pressed in a straight line as he can't remove the eyeliner that remained. "It's not coming off." He mutters in annoyance, he wanted to press harder but he didn't want to hurt you.

    You shake your head at him, "Don't bother with it." Your voice sounded soft and hoarse as you spoke with him, he looks at you, an unrecognisable expression plastered on his face. He shakes the expression before it takes over him.

    He crosses his head at your previous comment, attempting to take the eyeliner off again. "I don't want any of your makeup on my bed sheets anymore." You roll your eyes, he was always complaining about how you stained his bed sheets with traces of your makeup.

    You couldn't help it, you were just too lazy to wipe your makeup off. You slept with it most days which was properly the reason why your skin had been terrible lately. Or it was the stress.

    Jaemin had successfully taken all of your makeup off. This was the first time in so long where your makeup had been removed, even if it wasn't you doing the work. "Thank you." You mutter to him in gratitude.

    He completely changes the subject, a taunting smirk plastered on his face. "You know, there's one thing I don't mind you leaving on my bedsheets."

    "What?"

    You try to think of what he could possibly mean but your mind goes blank. He catches onto this. He drags his hand out for you to hold, pulling you towards the bathroom before clearing up your confusion. "Your cum."

    You hit his chest lightly. "Jaemin that's actually so - " You abruptly cut off your own sentence when you realise that he's is taking his clothes off. You stare at him wide and doey-eyed, not being able to control your reaction. "What are you doing?"

    He smiles at how you're reacting, it made him feel so good. He thought you looked so cute, he loved how dazed you looked. "We're gonna have a shower." He explains. He shakes his head at you, looking you dead in the eye as he fiddles with the waist band of his boxers. "Stop being do dirty minded." He tuts at you.

    He smiles as he sees you breathing heavily, your eyes were locked on the growing bulge behind his boxers. Just as he was about to take them off, your hands stop him. He looks blankly at you, a little confused but when he sees you lean down and press soft kisses over the covered fabric in which his cock lays behind, he smirks, his hands sinking in your hair and pulling on it.

    He was now sitting on his bed, his head bashing back against the headboard as you took his massive cock into your mouth.

    It was hard to think about anything else when he was so deep inside of your mouth. You forgot all the shit that went down the previous night, the only thing that mattered in this moment was pleasing Jaemin. You wanted to make him feel good, you wanted to give him the same fucked expression you always got after he ate you out.

    His words make you smile internally. "Mmmh, yes my baby you're doing so well." Jaemin softly mumbles, caressing your hair and reassuring you that you were taking him so well. It was as if he had read your mind and knew that you were doubting yourself.

    You were too focused on his cock filling your mouth that you completely missed the new nickname he had called you.

    My baby.

    He called you his baby.

    It was making your head spin in delight.

    Despite feeling as though you couldn't, you somehow opened your mouth wider to allow his cock to slip further down it. He grins at that, his eyes growing darker and his grip on your neck tightening. "That's right. Open up just for me."

    He leaned his head back against the headboard, smiling in delight as he was growing so accustome to the feeling. His hands move to softly pull away hair from your face, once again telling you how good it felt to have his cock down your throat.

    He was always so reassuring when you had his cock down your throat, his positive words always helped you take him further. You were considerably more innocent compared to him, you had never given someone a blow job before him.

    He convinced you to give him one during your first week of knowing him, of course you obliged. It wasn't rocket science and you had seen many videos but it was different seeing it and then doing it.

    His words, praise, patience, suggestions and encouragement ensured that you could make him feel better. He throat trained you so successfully, he never made you feel embarrassed or ashamed.

    He curses under his breath when your throat contracts around him, the warm spit falling down his base. You fight back the burning feeling you felt from having his heavy and thick cock down your throat. He was so deep inside of you, you weren't sure how that was possible, you had a very small mouth.

    You had been fighting back the urge to gag so successfully by breathing through your nose, until now. You choked on his cock. He sees how your eyes are watering up, "That's okay baby." He caresses your cheek with his thumb.

    His tone was so soft it was making your desire to make him feel good grow stronger. You slowly take him in deeper, opening your mouth wider and allowing him to slip his cock down further. It seemed impossible to widen your mouth but your want for his cum to fill your mouth was so strong.

    "That's it. That's my good girl, just a little bit deeper now, hmm?" You look up at him. Your eyes showed obedience to his words. You flutter your eyelashes, trying to blink away the tears that forcefully brimmed your eyes from the pressure of his cock filling your mouth.

    His eyes were heavy and he had now tied your hair in a low ponytail, pulling back on it to allow him deeper access in your throat. Despite his soft words of reassurment and patience, you knew that the need to cum was overfilling him. His grip on your hair was tight and he moaned under his breath.

    He moans your name when his tip teases the back of your throat, his hands circle your throat, almost in a choking motion, to help you stretch your throat wider for him.

    When his tip finally pushes against the back of your throat, he caves his fingers into your scalp, using the grip to help thrust his hips up to move deep inside of you.

    You looked him and his eyes met yours immediately. You felt pride as you revelled in his appearance, he had the most fucked expression ever and moans were spilling from his lips at an uncontrollable speed. He smiles lazily at you, moaning once again as he catches sight of how he's completely disappeared behind your lips.

    Your hands smooth over his thighs. You felt your core tighten when he whined your name, gripping your hands in his and kissing them softly. This caused moans to spill past your lips, they vibrated against his cock and only made him grow more blissful. "My cock in your mouth feels so good baby."

    He always complimented how good you made him feel, how tight you felt, how warm you felt, how good you were taking him... he never failed to praise you. He made you feel so confident.

    You beam in pride as he sinks his body, his head falling back and his eyes closing in content. His hands always found yours, holding onto them softly as you began a delicious cycle of movements.

    Your tongue continuously glided up and down the length of his base, you were sure to move steady yet sensually. "Your throat is so tight for me. It was made for me." His eyes fill with lust as he praises you.

    "Look at me baby." He gives you one of the most beautiful smiles you've ever seen. He brings his palm around your neck and pulls your head up, a lot rougher than he expected, he just wanted you to see him when he comes.

    His eyes closed and you knew he was seeing galaxies beneath them, his cock hardens above your tongue and his thrusts were now badly controlled. You knew he was about to come.

    You open your mouth wider as he rewarded you with his cum, it dripped down your throat, you swallowed every little bit. Well you thought you did, Jaemin smirks at you and uses his finger to wipe down cum that was spilling down your chin. He rubbed your lip with your finger, feeling so content and satisfied in this very moment.

    Everything was going so well with you, he couldn't believe how good this arrangement was. He had missed having sex, sex with you was always good. He was happier now that you had entered his life, you made him feel better in more ways one.

    He was falling deeper as he looks at the the view from in between, "You're absolutely beautiful." He somehow manages to talk whilst in the middle of his daze.

    The second he pulled out of you, his arms dragged your body upwards and pulled you into his lap. He seemed content in pressing soft kisses to your face, you hoped that it would distract him from your evergrowing wetness sinking into his bare thigh.

    He feels an unusual and unrecognisable feeling when he sees you try to hide your face into his neck, he could feel your smile and it was driving him crazy. He wasn't used to this feeling and it made a million questions and barriers of protection run wild in his mind.

    He didn't feel in control of his emotions and feelings, he fucking hated this.

    Despite his want to set a barrier to stop this feeling from overtaking him and spreading further, he had an impulse to cradle and coddle you, which was a stronger feeling than anything else. It was all he wanted to do so he moves closer to you, his finger instinctively soothing the back of your neck.

    "You feeling good?" He whispers, pulling you away from the safety of his body. You nod immediately, the instant smile that took over your eyes makes him feel so smitten.

    "You?" You direct the question back at him, wanting nothing more than him to feel as good as he made you. "Always." Pure relaxation takes over his expression as he relaxes with you in his grip.

    He gingerly smiles at you, "Proud of you baby girl." You didn't even have time to properly acknowledge the new pet name as his lips are on yours before you can think.

    His lips punctuates yours in a sensual yet caressing way. His mouth claimed yours, he was happy this it was him here sharing this moment with you. His eyes flutter close as he aches to get completely and utterly lost in you, in your lips, in your hair, in your body, in your heart...

    Wait. In your heart?

    He shakes the thought from his head, removing the utterly dumb feeling want wanting to erase its existence. He makes a mental promise to never think of it again. He refuses to feel this way again. He wasn't ready.

    He slowly pulls away from your lips, taking one good glance at the bathtub before hoistering you over his shoulder, "Jaemin!!" You shout his name, slapping on his back. You were confused, one second your eyes were closed and you were kissing him and then the next he's carrying you over his shoulder.

    You widen your eyes as you realise that he wants to shower with you. You had to oblige, kissing Jaemin under hot water seemed hot and your heart grow fonder at the thought.

    He unzips your dress, the dress you had been stuck in for hours, you were too tired to remove it. He looks into your eyes as he unclasps your bra while you let your soaked lace underwear fall down your legs.

    You revelled in the way his already dark eyes darkened even further. His breath hitched in his throat. He seemed to be in complete awe of you. "You are so beautiful." He lulls, looking at you with so much admiration.

    It kills you, the way he's looking at you. You hated how soft his eyes were at times, perhaps you wouldn't feel so fucked up and confused if he always wore cold eyes. But his eyes softened for you, you had seen it, everyone had seen it.

    It made your head spin, you wanted nothing more than to look into those eyes and tell him how you were truly feeling. You wanted to scream that you had fallen for him. But you couldn't, you couldn't when he was looking at you like this.

    It doesn't make sense right? It's so much easier to open up to someone when they seem interested and when you give you the same energy back. It's obviously so easier to speak the truth with someone who has warm eyes instead of cold eyes.

    But that was exactly the problem.

    Jaemin's warmness threw you off guard. Your mind goes blank and you forget all thoughts and all of your feelings, the only thing that matters is him.

    It's a good feeling when it easily eases all of your stress and worries. But the problem was that he eased every single thought in your head. You knew this wouldn't benefit you in the long term.

    You knew how dangerous it was for someone to have such immense control over your emotions. You wished that you had more control over yourself. But all control subsides the second he fills your presence.

    You could have an entire speech planned in your head and memorise it word from word but the second his lips make contact with your skin, your mind goes black and you relax in his presence and melt into him.

    You forget about everything else, you can only think of him.

    Why was this so hard? All you had to do was have one serious conversation then you'd understand, understand where his head is at and then he'd understand what your true feelings about him are. But that one conversation haunted and doomed over you, it terrified you.

    What if he wanted to end this friends with benefits arrangement? Thus why now wasn't the time to bring up the overlooming conversation, you were too scared of rejection to mention anything now.

    You were with him now, in his arms, in his room. You just wanted to hide away in his arms and sleep. You craved the feeling of him holding you, you didn't want to risk not having that, atleast just for this night. You just needed him so bad, so much more than you've have ever needed anything.

    His hands cup the sides of your cheeks, his eyes stare into you deeply as he presses a soft kiss against your lips. "Come on, we can't stand here forever." He mutters, you had been staring at him without saying anything again.

    The hot water pours down on your naked bodies. Your mind fades into dullness and everything is a foggy illusion. The sensation of the steamy water calmed you; or perhaps he was the one who calmed you.

    Your mind swirls as you opens your eyes to look at the boy standing in front of him. Everything in the world was a blur, while he was the only crystal clear thing you saw.

    He was currently applying shampoo to your hair, applying the correct amount throughout the length of your hair. He was doing all the work. His hands felt so good running through the strands of your hair, you closed your eyes and couldn't help but let out a moan of satisfaction as you felt your scalp being massaged.

    He curses as he looks at the ground, not being able to look at you. "Don't make those noises." He mutters seriously, now squeezing conditioner in his hands and applying it to the ends of your hair. Once he washes your hair properly, he applies the body wash to your body, his hands massaging your joints and causing relaxation to fall through your body.

    You moved your fingers to his chest. His skin was slick and fiery to the touch as you dragged your fingernails to trace the outline of his scars. Your breath halted when you reached the massive back scar on his back. You had always noticed it and one day you asked where it came from, he had told you he had a serious back injury when he was younger.

    Your fingers traced it's outline before you leant forward to press several wet kisses against the length of it. It was a massive scar, it hurt you so much to think that he was in physical pain. The scar was a memory of that pain, you just wanted to take all of his pain away.

    He was playing your hair, leaning forward to kiss you softly. "Baby, I told you that it doesn't hurt anymore." He smiles, seeing how you were rather content on caressing his scar. He was used to the feeling of your lips against it. You always kissed it so soothingly, as if you were trying to take away his pain.

    You realise that you had probably been getting too carried away with trying to soothe something that didn't hurt. So you decided to press several chaste kisses across his chest instead, tracing the lines of his abs with your lips and tongue. Your touch was so slick and fiery that he felt as if your tongue was causing his skin to catch on fire.

    You smiled when he moaned your name, his voice husky in a way that made you shiver. His hands reached for your face, dragging you up so you could kiss him where he wanted your lips the most.

    His lips enclosed on yours; soft yet immersive, gentle yet powerful all the same. He kept his body intertwined with yours, content to just hold you there.

    Your breath halts as you're pushed up against the wall, Jaemin cages you against the bathroom tiles and his eyes look so much darker than what you're used to. You cup his cheeks immediately, bringing him closer as his lips attack your jaw, pressing wet kisses along the line.

    Your head bashes back as his lips move swiftly to your neck, his teeth nibbling down as he began to make marks on the skin. You moan his name, gripping onto his shoulders to bring him closer which only caused him to press harder onto your skin.

    Being with Jaemin never failed to make your senses go haywire but in a good way. He took over you completely, the way you wanted it to be. You would never get tired of the feeling of his lips against your skin, of his hands caressing your body, of his eyes glued onto you.

    You saw the intensity his eyes and the heat in his touch slowly fade away. His eyes had a softer look and his touch was becoming so much more sensual. Normally, you would be in favour of this but you just wanted him to fuck you until you couldn't feel your legs.

    "Jaemin?" You struggle to speak. It felt as though kissing him was easier than speaking and breathing. He hums in response, pressing a soft kiss in your eyelid, chin and then shoulder as he waits for you to continue.

    "Jaemin, please." You groan, your grip on him getting stronger. His erection was rubbing with your core and it made your want for him to fuck you grow stronger. "Please what?" He questions back in confusion.

    You breathe in and out, closing your eyes in bliss as he instinctively moved his erection to rub against your core. It was as if his body knew what your body wanted before your minds did. "Please, Jaemin. I just want you to fuck me." You gasp, not expecting to sound so straightforward.

    Jaemin has this look in his eye that's almost unrecognisable, he looks straight at you and raises an eyebrow, you knew he was holding back a smirk. "Now?" He mumbles, almost in disbelief. He wasn't aware that you were in the mood, he was so sure that you weren't.

    You wanted to shove his cock inside of you. Why was he in disbelief? "Right here and now." You sigh, looking into his eyes as he looked at your lips. You hoped that he could see how puckered they were, you were patiently waiting for him to plant his own against yours.

    "I can always tell your mood and if you wanna have sex or don't, I don't know why I was so wrong this time." He whispers, his voice deep and low as his fingers brush against your lips. You kiss the pad of his finger, revelling in the way he's looking at you. His gaze was so soft and was filled with nothing but admiration. You felt heat under his intense gaze, your core burning the longer he looks at you.

    "Just. fuck. me." You speak slowly and clearly, your voice breathy and rather quiet. You sounded more demanding than you had intended. You gulp as you feel an ache in between your thighs, Jaemin looks down, the corner of his lips rising in a smirk as he sees you clenching your thighs tightly together, trying to soothe the ache.

    He doesn't speak but his eyes say more than words ever will. You feel hot under his mysterious and dark gaze, your heart rate rising off the roofs as he looks at you in the most alluring way ever.

    You open your mouth softly for him, his index finger slides in and out of your mouth and is covered in your saliva almost instantly. He bites his lip, pressing another finger down your mouth as you use your tongue to swirl around it. He was thrusting his fingers inside and out of your mouth, you felt weak to your knees and you struggled to breathe while he looked amused as he looked at the state you were currently in. It was as if the actions had no effect on him and if they did then he didn't show it.

    You feel crippling embarrassment that you had this dazed expression just by his mere touch and gaze. It was so easy to become undone around him. He had you wrapped around his little finger, you were immensely captivated and in a trance by just one simple touch.

    He suddenly pulls his wet fingers from your mouth, his voice slow and dark as he spoke. "Okay, I'll fuck you." He finally responds, giving you no time to think as his hands come creeping down behind your thighs, lifting you up so your legs were wrapped around his torso.

    He's quick to press your back into the cold tile wall. His body moves flush against yours. You draw in a shallow breath as he pushes into you slowly. He presses soft kisses to the side of your face, making the most subtle of movements to help you adjust to his size.

    You moan his name, relishing at the feeling of feeling whole again. You've missed this. The feeling of his cock inside of you successfully makes your head stop spinning, it so effortlessly stops all your tensions and worries.

    You sink your head back against his shoulder, biting your tongue as he whispers into your ear. "Ready for me to move beautiful?" You nod immediately, you had never wanted him to fill you up so badly.

    He begins to thrust into you at an agonisingly slow pace. You wanted to scream, you appreciated that he always wanted to give you time to adjust and to prevent you from hurting but sometimes you wished he didn't have to go so slow. You wanted him to ram into you at an uncontrollable speed. "Go faster." You mumble, he raises an eyebrow at that, rubbing your back softly as he speaks to you.

    "More?" He questions, wanting to make sure that it was really what you wanted. You nod back immediately, making your mind up so fast, it was easy to. "More." You repeat.

    He licks his lips, he didn't need to be told twice. He grasps onto your hands that lay flat on your wall, holding onto them tightly as he moves back, leaving just the tip of his cock buried inside of your core.

    He gives gives his cock a few stripes, rubbing the tip along your slit for a few seconds, chuckling as he sees groan. Then he pushes his hips forward without warning. He sets a rate and speed that's too fast to register, your mind goes hazy and you lean your head back against his shoulder, unable to form a coherrant thought as he repeats the movement, over and over again.

    Although you had begged for it, you weren't ready for the fast pace that he had so hastily adopted. Every thrust made you cry out his name from the top of your lungs, it made your toes curl in a staggering bliss and it caused your nails to dig into his skin, leaving skid marks all over his shoulders.

    The only sounds filling the room was skin slapping against skin, his low grunts, the water falling from the showerhead and you blabbers of his name. He pounds you open, he thrusts into you at a hard and controlled rate, moaning as your walls close around him. "Fuck, you're taking me so well, making me feel so good." He breathily whispers, lifting your head softly from his shoulder so you could look into his eyes.

    You choke on a gasp, fighting the urge to cover your face again as compliments and praise spills from his lips. He was telling you how warm and tight you felt around him, how good you made him feel and how your pretty pussy was made just for him.

    Your eyes roll back as pleasure ripples through your body. You couldn't believe how good he was making you feel, how good he always made you feel, you never knew that it was possible to be fucked this good. His cock was rubbing against every inch of your walls and he was hitting the sweet spot again and again.

    He looked into your eyes, lips parting as quick breaths released. He felt your walls weakly clench around him time and time again. He moves his hands to your throat, wrapping it around the skin as he spoke. "Gonna cum for me?" He questions, choking you. He silenced your groans and words.

    Your fucked expression is almost enough to send him over the edge. Your body twitches in his tight hold. You slur his name, desperate for his cum to fill inside of you. You pull on his hair tightly, bouncing up and down his cock as you beg him to cum in you. the heat your core gives him brings him to his own end.

    You reach for his lips, mushing them down onto his as your legs shake and your walls tremble against him. The languid pace of his thrusts was enough to send you over the edge. You move your head to his shoulder, closing your eyelids against his skin as you allowed the euphoric feeling to cover you whole.

    "Baby." He calls out to you, his tone so relaxed as he pulls you closer to him. He had that fucked expression you knew all too well. It made you feel proud seeing him so calm like this, this was you, you made him feel this way.

    His lips press against yours, kissing you in the most caressing way that you felt your entire body melt into his touch. You felt a wave of tranquility and peace that you would only be able to feel around him.

    He looks at you through dazed eyes, moving his lips to yours, biting down on your bottom lip as his movements fasten. He grips your thighs hard as his need to cum takes over. You tighten around him, helping him reach his own finish. His cum eventually fills inside of you. Your eyes rolled back, your back arching from the wall as his cock filled you up so well.

    His arms were securely wrapped around your waist, his fingers tracing arbitrary patterns along the small of your bare back sending tiny, delighted shivers down your spine. You close your eyes and melt into his touch, something you found yourself falling into easier and easier every single time.

    ✩☆★

    Jaemin was currently blow drying your hair. You were about to do it yourself but then he took the dryer from your hands. Seeing as though he had already removed your makeup, helped you clean up in the shower and helped you into your clothes, you handed the responsibility of drying your own hair to him.

    It felt so good, you felt as if you had no responsibility and no stress in the world. You loved it when he took care of you. He always took such care of you. He loved showering with you and putting your shampoo and body wash on himself. These acts only made your heart grow stronger and your worries dissolve.

    You could see him looking directly at you in the mirror. You were sitting in front of the mirror in a chair and he was behind you, your back was turned but he could still see your reflection and his eyes were glued to it. "Look so good." You could just about hear him over the loud noise of the hair dryer.

    You raise your eyebrows in confusion. "My hair? But it's so damaged from all the hair dye and heat, even in the shower you were saying that I needed to visit a hair salon and it also keeps on falling out that's why there's so much hair on your bed and -"

    Jaemin's voice cuts you off immediately, stopping you from rambling your tongue off. You could see him roll his eyes as he locked eyes with you in the mirror. Technically he wasn't looking directly at you but it felt like he was. "I meant you. Dummy." He shakes his head about how wrong you were.

    You couldn't hide the blush that krept onto your cheeks. He had told you that you looked pretty a million times before but you felt giddy every single time.

    Although the feeling only washes over you for a slight moment until a stronger feeling replaces it. You remember Hyejoo's words and somehow you're finding it harder to believe Jaemin.

    Your thighs are so fat.

    Everyone's looking at you.

    You believed her. You felt as though you had no other choice but to believe her. Her words stung you so badly that nothing could ease the sting.

    You hadn't even noticed him turn the lights and hair dryer off. "Shana, come here then." He calls out to you from the bed, you were too preoccupied in your thoughts that you hadn't even remembered him leaving your side.

    You assumed from his choice of words and tone that he had called your names a couple of times. Your mind was racing with too many thoughts to hear him, If only he knew what was going on in your head.

    As soon as you fall underneath the covers, his presence fills yours immediately. His arms looped around your body as he moved so close to you. He was by your side in an instant and resting his head on your pillow, kissing the back of your shoulder softly.

    He circles his thumb around your nipple, you knew he didn't mean it in a sexual way, you could tell. He always did that to comfort you when he could tell you were stressed out, it was an oddly soothing gesture.

    His lips caress your cheeks before he whispers softly in your eats. "You know, you've been acting a little weird recently." He mindlessly plays with a loose strand of your hair, tucking it behind your ear as he waits for you to respond. That's if you were ready to say anything, he had a feeling that you weren't.

    You gulp at his words. What did he mean weird? You didn't realise how bad you were at hiding your feelings. But Jaemin did know you, he knew you so well. He could read you like an open book and somehow, he always knew what was on your mind.

    That makes you relieved, perhaps he knew how you were feeling about him? You would feel oddly satisfied if he was aware of your feelings without you having to explain them, you would feel a huge burden lifted from your shoulders.

    You cup his cheeks in your hands, "I'm sorry." You weren't quite sure why you were apologising. You always found yourself apologising for things that you probably shouldn't feel sorry for.

    He holds your hands that are still gripping onto your face as he looks deep into your eyes. "You don't have anything to be sorry for. I just wish that I - that I could -"

    Your eyes grow curious as he struggles to finish his sentence. It was weird to see him so unsure of what he wanted to say. "What is it?" You couldn't help but question.

    He smiles, shaking his head as he leans forward to press a kiss to your nose as he finally knows what he wants so say. He gives you one of the softest smiles you've ever seen from him, your heart was melting before he had even begun talking.

    "I wish I could make everything better for you."

    His words hit you so hard. If only it was that easy to stop the agony of someone who you deeply cared about. You wished that it was that easy. At times, you needed to feel pain to feel human. Pain was natural, a perfect life would be utterly boring and one that nobody wanted to live in. But pain to the extent of feeling as though you couldn't breathe anymore was one of the biggest flaws in humanity.

    Then you remember the actual reason why you were feeling so down. It was because Jaemin had admitted that it was only sex to him. Despite Yangyang trying to give you hope, you couldn't help but feel hopeless.

    You wanted to be mad at Jaemin but it was difficult to when he was looking at you so softly and was speaking such affectionate words. He messed with your brain, it was so easy to forget feelings of anger when you were with him.

    "Just don't think that I don't know." His vague words replay in your head over and over again. What was he talking about?

    You couldn't help but question further "Don't know what?" Could it be? The possibility of Jaemin knowing your true feelings towards him was not low, he had always been good at reading your emotions.

    He motions to your head, "That somethings going on up there, you think you're so good at hiding everything but I know you. I can't help but notice how different you've been acting for a while."

    You gulp as he explains himself. You couldn't believe how bad you were at guarding your true emotions, especially to him. You uncovered fully around him, it was almost your bodies natural response.

    You grew nervous as he had said he had noticed it for a while. He had only said those honest words yesterday at the New Year's Eve party. You agree that you had been acting so unlike yourself since he had spoken those words to Karina, but surely you had acted somewhat normal before then?

    It was crazy, you felt as though you had been fine and happy these last few weeks but perhaps your body was telling another story. A story that Jaemin could easily pick up on while you couldn't.

    You want to question him further, to ask what specific changes in your mood he had noticed. "Like what?"

    He doesn't understand what you're asking at first but when he does, he expands on his point. "I know you and what you're like I can tell changes in how you act even if they're subtle."

    He pauses, collecting his thoughts before speaking again. "I have to call your name 5 times to get your attention, you don't even realise it most of the time. You always play with my hands and rings. You always repeatedly kiss my cheeks to the point where my cheeks feel sore." He stops to assure you that he doesn't care about the soreness and that he doesn't mind it, he actually loves it. He just didn't like how it was clearly evidence of you feeling stressed.

    He holds your hands tightly before continuing. "You only do those things when you're stressed out and want to distract yourself from whatever shits going on in your head."

    God, how did he know things about you that even you didn't know? It was a terrifying feeling, you felt exposed.

    You fall silent for a short while, not being able to speak. Jaemin notices this and caresses your cheek with his thumb, seconds later his lips were replacing his thumb. He kissed you repeatedly, just like he said you had, you appreciated this gesture. It was him saying these things weren't problems.

    "I notice your lips always trembling, sometimes I feel it when you're kissing me. And your face always has this frown on it, it fucking kills me Shana. I can't bare to see you like this."

    You didn't know that. First of all, you weren't aware that you were actually doing those things in the first place. You never knew that those were your habits until he had pointed it out for you.

    And you didn't know how obvious you had made it. You hated how vulnerable and easy to read you had become to him, all because you didn't know how to hide your sorrows.

    He laughs but it sounds choked, "You're doing it right now." He moves forward to press a soft kiss to your lips in hopes that it would turn your frown upside down.

    You raise an eyebrow, not knowing that you had frowned. So how did he know? "But it's dark in here." You mutter in utter confusion, how could he see your frown when there was no light in the room.

    He replies, almost immediately. His words sending chills down your spine.

    "I can just feel it."

    You wanted to shake away the delusional and overly optimistic thoughts from your head. Thoughts that included you thinking about how connected you both had become, so connected that you knew what the other was thinking about. So connected that you can could feel each others feelings.

    But he obviously didn't believe that. He only believed you were connected in one way, which was sexually.

    So you chose to make humor of the situation and ignore the harsh truth. "Are you psychic now?" You try to laugh and look at him amusingly. You had no idea what he actually meant when he said he could 'feel' your frown.

    You didn't want him to feel your frown anyways. Did that mean he could feel your sadness? You didn't want him to feel upset, it was the last thing you wanted. You would never forgive yourself, if somehow, you had caused him great agony.

    "I'm only psychic for you." He winked. You rolled your eyes but you couldn't hide the blush that crept onto your cheeks. This was such a typical Jaemin response.

    "Baby I told you, I got you." He pauses for a second, you could see he was contemplating saying something but when he speaks seconds later, you realise he decides to say it. "And I know you. More than you probably think I do."

    He had said this particular phrase, "I got you" several times but it hit you hard this time. Because he was right, he did have you and he always proved it time after time. He always took care of you, looked out for you. He was always there when you needed him.

    He had never said "I know you" before. You weren't sure why but you were really thinking of his words and uncovering the meaning. Your head was spinning as you were overthinking everything, one of the few things you knew how to do well.

    If he claimed to know you so well then why hadn't he picked up on your growing feelings for him? Obviously you had no way of knowing if he really was aware but it was a possibility. He knew you, he was right. He could tell what you were feeling from the most subtle movements and in mere seconds.

    You just wanted to ask him so bad, ask him if he truly felt that it was more than sex from your side. You were always surprised to see how observant he was, he must know. He must know that you crave his affectionate touches more than his sexual ones. He must know that your favorite place in the world was in his arms.

    But you were being too entirely hopeful. How do you know if he actually feels that? At the end of the day, he wasn't a mind reader. No matter how badly you wanted him to understand your true feelings it was on you

    to tell him, it was your responsibility. You took accountability and control over your feelings, nobody else, only you. You needed to stop being so goddamn dependent and optimistic.

    You needed to talk to him.

    "Shana." He calls your name. You had a feeling that this wasn't the first time he had said your name, you were too deep in thought to actually notice that he had been speaking to you.

    You hum in response. He was totally right, you had been acting weird and this was another example of it. You genuinely hadn't heard him call your name, your thoughts were too loud.

    "Shana..." He tuts. Perhaps this was a random thought but you loved the way he said your name. He made your name sound pretty.

    "I was just saying - just know that you will always have me, I'll be here for you no matter what."

    In this very moment, his words softened your heart and visibly made you relax. He could feel you unstiffen in his arms, fully melting into his side. In this very moment, you held onto his words as if they were the most important thing in the world.

    As the time goes on and the seasons change from the soarching heat to the icy cold, you realise how foolish you are. You couldn't believe how gullible you were for believing every word he said. He was a liar. You wish that you could've seen that.

    Despite your body physically melting into him, your mind couldn't help but to question him, your emotions were running high. "In what way Jae? I have you in what way?"

    You sounded harsher than you expected.

    He takes a while to reply, you hated how harsh you sounded. You didn't want to offend him. "What do you mean?" He mumbles, he had been trying to think of what you could've possibly meant during the silence but his mind failed to come up with answers.

    "I mean -" You gulp, confidence shadowing over you and causing you to speak these next words. "In what way exactly do I 'have you?' I want all of you. I want you in every way possible. I want all of you so fucking. I've never wanted anything so bad."

    You cringed at how open you were being. This was only an opportunity for him to see the inside of you deeper. Opening up was fucking terrifying. You hated that taking the weight of your shoulders meant that you were put in a vulnerable situation.

    You hated that you had to trade the ease of having no baggage for being in the upmost position of vulnerability. Your emotions were on show for anyone to see, specifically the person you were sharing the burden to.

    But it was Na Jaemin, the boy who had stolen your heart. One of the reasons why you were so emotionally connected with him was because no matter how much you opened up to him, he never made you feel vulnerable or exposed because of it.

    You wanted to ask him so badly. You wanted to scream at him that you needed him in every way possible, not just sexually. But you weren't ready for that, not yet. You needed time. For the time being, vagueness about the topic was all you could manage.

    He takes a while to answer but when he does, you can't help but feel a little relieved. "Shana, I just mean generally. In whatever way you need to have me in."

    He meant generally.

    He'd be there for you in whatever way you needed him.

    You appreciated his words so much, you did need him, you needed him in every possible way. You hoped that he knew that, you hoped that he knew how desperate you were to have all of him. You wanted him to be yours. You needed him to be yours. You had never needed somebody as badly as you needed him.

    "You either have me or you don't." He adds, your throat going dry as you think of not having him. The thought was scary and you didn't want to think of it any longer. You didn't want that to become your reality.

    He speaks once again and it cuts you from your thoughts. "Sometimes you're so fucking weird." You couldn't help but feel a harsh sting as his words awoke you from your deep thoughts. Sometimes Jaemin was so honest and it messed with your head.

    You prod your bottom lip with your finger nail, not wanting to ask further but you needed to know. "How?"

    You can feel him looking directly on you, his gaze strong and dark. "You push me away." He mutters, his voice low and rather non audible in a way you had never heard it before.

    You wanted to say no, you wanted to deny that and tell him that you wanted him closer to you than he had ever been before. But what if he was saying was true and you had never realised?

    You were attached by his side during the New Year's Eve party and moments before it, you had felt so close to him at that very time, closer than you had ever felt before. But it was no lie that this last month, you had been spending less and less time with him.

    Had you pushed him away without meaning to? You craved his company but at the same time it fucking terrified you. You felt weak around him, your feelings for him made you weak. Perhaps you pushed him away without intent, this was you subconsciously setting up a barrier of protection.

    "I don't mean to -" You admit. It was the honest truth, you didn't want to push him away. "I just - I just can't explain it, Jaemin."

    You thought he was gonna comfort you physically to help you open up and explain it to him. He loved it when you felt comfortable enough to speak about your struggles and worried with him.

    You were used to his lips caressing your skin and his giving of lingering touches in response to your fear and inability towards opening up about something.

    So your mouth dropped when he abruptly removed his arms from over your body. He turned around, no longer facing your side. Your lip trembled slightly at how cold your body became without him by your side.

    "Jaemin.. why are you -"

    "I should be so mad at you." His voice almost makes you jump. You could almost feel his gaze even though he wasn't looking in your direction. It was dark and heavy.

    You hated the idea of someone being mad at you, especially Jaemin. "What did I do? I'm sorry Jae I didn't mean to -"

    He abruptly cuts you off, his words stopping you from feeling intense levels of guilt. "I should be mad at you but I can't."

    He gulps, turning around and returning to the position you were in moments ago. His arms came around you once again and you instinctively nestled your head onto his side. "I just can't bring myself to be mad at you."

    You weren't focused on what he was saying. You had become too emersed in his body finding yours again to focus on anything else. "Don't do that again." You mumble against his chest, cuddling into his side and never wanting to let go.

    You wished that you had actually paid attention to what he was saying, perhaps you would've been mentally prepared for the conversation that was about to come.

    But it was so hard to focus on what he was saying, your body had melted into his again (where it belonged) and suddenly nothing else mattered.

    You didn't miss how your nerves and muscles softened as soon as he held you. You weren't even sure why he had ever left your side but you were too focused on the euphoric feeling that suddenly washed a wave over your body.

    The change in movement from him was so sudden, he had so quickly decided that he wanted to be by your side again.

    You relax in his arms once again, melting into him and holding him so tight. Your actions said unspoken words, that you didn't want him to leave your side again.

    He had just kissed you goodnight and had closed his eyes, ready to sleep. Just now, at this very moment, did you decide to actually question him about why he was mad at you. You wouldn't be able to sleep if you didn't know.

    "Jaemin."

    He groans, opening his eyes to meet your curious ones. You had always done this, you had always called his name just as he was about to sleep and Jaemin knew that it only meant one thing. That you wanted to have a very long and meaningful conversation, it was so typical from you, he had expected it.

    But he was also the one who always answered you and loved talking to you until the sun rise. He knew he wasn't going to get any sleep. Secretly, he didn't really mind, he loved talking to you. It was his favorite thing.

    "Yeah?" He asks you, you shake your head as you realised that you hadn't actually asked him what you wanted to. You had been too busy staring at him.. it was hard not to. He glowed in the dark, his messy hair and plump lips were irresistible.

    You shake those thoughts away, this was important. "Why were you mad at me?"

    You sounded so honest and small, in the sense that you were fearing his answer. It was true, you had no idea what you had done.

    In all honesty, you should be the one who was mad at him. He was the one who had said it was nothing but sex between you both. But that was a conversation for another day.

    You hoped you would have enough courage to make it a conversation for another time.

    You can almost see him rolling his eyes, "Shana..." He starts off, his voice sounded thick with disappointment. "Shana, you just left me at the party and disappeared. You didn't even tell me where you were going."

    Of course that was the reason. How could you have been so foolish to completely forget that you had left him without saying anything? You had disappeared from his side so quickly and without second guessing. It was scary.

    But here you were now. Despite his words causing you so much agony the night before, you were cuddled up with him in bed as if nothing had happened.

    That was the thing, it was so easy to act as if nothing did happen when you were with him. It was so easy to forget about all of your suffering. It was so easy to forget about your hurt.

    "Then why aren't you mad at me?" To be honest, this will sound out of pocket but the feeling of Jaemin being mad at you would be rather... exhilarating. The sex with him was on another level whenever he was jealous at you for "flirting" with someone else.

    You shake those completely out of topic thoughts from your head when he speaks. "I should be mad at you. I should be really fucking mad." His voice was so low and deep, you suddenly found yourself having inappropriate thoughts again which you shook away immediately.

    "Shana, you specifically told me not to leave your side. I did that, I didn't mind doing that, I wanted to do it. But then you leave without saying anything and when I text you to ask where the hell you've gone, you tell me not to worry?"

    You avoid his strong gaze at all costs. You felt guilty.

    You didn't realise what you were doing last night. You didn't think of the consequences your dumb actions had. You didn't care about the effect the alcohol would have on you. You didn't regard Jaemin's feelings when you left him without a word.

    You acted impulsively, you went frantic and it had consequences on you and Jaemin.

    "Look at me." He whispers, he hated that you felt as though you couldn't. His hand rests on the side of your head, caressing your hair so softly as he faced you to look directly at him and nothing else.

    "I said I'm not mad at you." He mumbles, leaning forward to graze your lips against his. He wanted to wipe that frown of your face, it broke his heart.

    "I'm a bit mad at myself though. Maybe I shouldn't be but if anything happened to you while I was gone then I'll never forgive myself."

    At first you had no clue what he was hinting at when he said'if anything happened to you.' The alcohol was making your thinking process slow. But then you remember the actual reason you needed Jaemin by your side that night. It was to ensure Lucas didn't come near you.

    You hated how he was seriously considering blaming himself for anything that happened. It obviously wasn't his fault. He stuck to his promise and never did leave your side, you were the one who left his side.

    You also hated that you had to rely on a man for protections in that way. It wasn't right, both of you knew that but it did work. Lucas hadn't dared to come into your direction look at when you were with Jaemin.

    However the second you left Jaemin...

    But Heejin was there to protect you. It was nice finally putting a name to her face. You had thought about her, you hoped that she was safe and sleeping well. What she did meant so much to you. You really hoped that you could speak to her again, to properly thank her and do her a favour.

    Perhaps it was a completely false idea to assume that you could only rely on a man for protection. Heejin did stop Lucas from doing whatever foulish shit he was planning to do with you.

    But it was Jaemin, you would always trust him and rely on him.

    "Did anything happen when I wasn't there?" He asks you, you could tell that he was holding it back and contemplated asking you something so direct. But you could also tell he was dying with the desire to know.

    You also knew what he was referring to you. He was asking you if Lucas had done anything to you.

    "No."

    You lie so quickly. Well it wasn't a lie, technically nothing had happened to you. Heejin was there to stop it.

    It was easier to lie when you were manipulating the truth and that was exactly what you were doing. Maybe something was close to happening but nothing ever did happen.

    But it Jaemin knew that you were even in the position that Lucas put you in, he would kill him. That's why you wouldn't be telling him. Jaemin wasn't someone who got typically angry but this situation would make him lethal.

    You notice him locking eyes with yours for a while. You knew he was trying to see if you were being truthful, he could easily tell when you were lying about your feelings.

    Even if he did think you weren't saying the truth, he would never push you to talk about something you were clearly not comfortable talking about. He hoped that you could find comfort in telling him your worries, most of the time you did.

    But sometimes he knew that you couldn't tell him no matter how badly you may want to. He wishes for you to process your emotions by yourself before finding sanctuary in him. He would never rush you. He would always wait for you with open arms when you were ready to talk. Always.

    You think of his previous words, you either have me or you don't. You hadn't stopped thinking of what he had said and now seemed like an appropriate time to give him a response.

    You circle a strand of hair that falls in front of his eyebrows. You look deep into his eyes, this time not feeling faltered by his intense gaze. "Jae, I want you and I can't lose you, not right now."

    He gives you one of the most beautiful smiles you've ever seen. If he's shocked at your rather random confession, he doesn't show it.

    He moves close and you automatically cup his cheeks with your hands. His forehead rested against yours for a few moments and you just looked at each other and smiled, neither person saying a word, it was just giddy smiles.

    Then he closes his eyes and leans in to press a long and chaste kiss on your lips, you could feel him smiling against your lips and it was sending butterflies to your stomach.

    He pulls away from your lips for a slight second, kissing your temple before saying words that would mean the world to you. You could feel him smiling against your skin as he spoke the words most important to you in this very time.

    "I need you too."

    Hearing those words meant everything to you. Surprisingly, you felt as if you were okay again and it was all because of him. He made your worries dissolve so easily, how was that even possible?

    "I can tell you wanna speak to me about something and I'm not sure what." Jaemin suddenly changes the subject, fiddling with the buttons on your shirt as he rests his head on your shoulder, almost speaking directly into your ear. "You can always talk to me about anything. Baby, tell me what's going on."

    He just wanted to help you and make you feel better. You could see that. It wasn't that Jaemin had a god complex but he liked helping people and listening to their emotions. He knew that he could make a difference and make someone feel better. He was aware of this, which was why he was always there to listen and give advice.

    He didn't mind it when people vented, he liked it when people felt comfortable enough to open up to him. Even if he would never admit it, you knew he secretly loved it when you shared your worries with him, he loved helping you. He loved listening to you and loved how visibily relaxed you would look after opening up to him.

    It wasn't just with you, he was naturally like a therapist with everyone. You knew that Jeno loved ranting to him and Jaemin always made him feel relieved about his problems. He loved giving advice to Sua too.

    There were numerous times where you would be in the kitchen making food for the three of you and you would always overhear what sounded like a councilling between Jaemin and Sua. She would spill all of her stresses and you always heard him giving the most heartfelt and helpful advice.

    But of course if you brought up this as being another sweet moment between them, they'd both deny it. It was to typical of them to deny the beautiful friendship they had, perhaps they just wanted to be known as the bickering pair.

    "Okay, I'll talk to you." You finally break the silence as you realise Jaemin had been waiting patiently for you to give any response.

    You wouldn't talk to him about what was truly on your mind, not yet. You weren't ready to talk about your feelings for him to him. The thought of rejection was terrifying you so you decided to hold onto the secret for just a little while longer.

    But you couldn't miss up on this opportunity. Truth be told, these late-night, consoling conversations you had with Jaemin were becoming one of your favorite things.

    So if you were going to tell him the main problem in your head, you decided on seeking advice on another problem. One that you hadn't told anyone about, let alone him.

    You nod, it was more like a mental sign to yourself that you wanted to tell Jaemin this and that you were ready.

    "I just really fucking hate my family." You laugh nervously as you realise how random this was. Jaemin rarely reacts so you weren't sure if he was taken aback or slightly shocked.

    You were an avid overthinker and you worried too much. You couldn't help but worry if Jaemin judged you for opening up to him or felt as if you were burdening him. Even if his actions and consistent persistence for you to feel comfortable enough to tell him anything said otherwise.

    You felt an unexplainable emotion, was it perhaps guilt? You felt weird, you had a bad feeling and it was because you were speaking about this issue out of nowhere. You didn't like how you felt.

    But that's what opening up was for, to speak about things that fucked up your mind. Specifically sharing your worries with someone you trusted and felt comfortable with. With someone who listened to you carefully and comforted you accordingly.

    You spoke to Jaemin about things that you had never dared to share with anyone else. But it was just so easy to tell him, you longed to tell him. What was this feeling? You had never wanted to share and talk so much with anybody else before you had met Jaemin. He had truly changed your life for the better.

    You felt like Jaemin was the first person in your life who you truly felt immense comfort around. You had never felt this feeling. You felt so safe with him, as if nothing bad would ever happen. It was a rare feeling, to be stress free and to have no worry in this world but feeling like this was second nature when you were with Jaemin.

    When he kisses your shoulder and nuzzles his nose against it, you knew that was him telling you to carry on and that he was listening. You knew that you would be okay for as long as Jaemin was with you.

    You immediately felt more at ease to tell him what was on your mind. What was constantly on your mind. "I'm like a million miles away from them yet I can still feel their presence and I hate it so much."

    "Don't you have a good relationship with them?" You shook your head immediately at his question. You certainly did not.

    Although he doesn't show it, Jaemin can't help but feel a little shocked. He didn't expect you to have a bad relationship with anyone.

    He pushes a loose strand behind your ear, looking into your eyes. In this moment, you felt secure enough to tell him your problems. You had never felt more comfortable.

    You hold onto his hand tightly, taking in a deep breathe as you finally open up. "Since I was a little girl I feel like I haven't meant anything to them, my family tell me they love me but that's just for the sake of it. Do they like me? Why do they all get along with one another but me? It makes me feel like I'm a horrible person and maybe I am."

    Although Jaemin doesn't verbally reply, he shakes his head at you immediately. You were not a horrible person, you were so far from it. Jaemin could never imagine anyone thinking of you as a foul person, you didn't have any mean bone in your body. You were such a kind and lively soul, that's one of the many reasons he was so gravitated towards you.

    "I always tell you and Sua that the main reason I worked so hard to get this scholarship was because the college offers the best course in the world for the particular subject I'm doing..."

    Which was true, you couldn't deny that but there was another reason. A reason more significant than any other. "But the actual reason I worked my ass off to get a place in this college was to get away from my family."

    Even if it was for one year, any time away from them would be ideal. You frown, thinking that one day you'd eventually have to go back to them and leave all of your friends and Jaemin behind.

    "Although they're a million miles away I can still feel their presence and I don't like it. I hate it, they make me feel tense and threatened. I thought I'd feel better about being far away from them so why do I feel like shit?" You bite your lip, looking up to try and stop tears from falling.

    You notice Jaemin's expression. It hadn't really changed. He was just listening to you with attentiveness and a concentration you only saw when he was working on his photography projects.

    Although he hadn't said anything, his lips kissed your face in such a comforting way. It was hard to think straight when he was caressing your skin so softly, but it did make your nerves disappear.

    You felt as though you had to explain why you had such a bad relationship with them. It would only make the situation more transparent for Jaemin.

    "They're just so... spiteful and I'll never get along with them. I'm the forgetten one. The one that everyone likes the least, the one that doesn't make any difference whether I'm there or not."

    You frown immensely, although you did want to leave them and accept this amazing opportunity to study abroad, you still felt bad that no one at home wanted you around.

    Not one of your family members had said that they'd miss you, nobody called you since you had left, nobody seemed to care that you were gone. You had never felt more forgetten, unwanted or uncared for.

    You took a deep breathe in as you realised what you had just admitted to Jaemin. It was something you had never told anybody and something you thought you'd never share.

    He eases your doubts and worries immediately as you hear his consoling voice. "You make such a difference." He mutters. His heart breaking as he heard you say all of those words, he didn't want you to believe that.

    He was kissing your lips softly, trying to distract himself from the terrible feeling he was getting from hearing you speak such words. "You make such a good difference in my life, you're definitely not forgetten. Ever."

    You couldn't help but pout your bottom lip, tears brimming your eyes as you felt an immense wave of emotion at his words. "Jaemin." You sigh, it came out more as a moan. You reached for him, circling your fingers into his hair before pulling him close to you, connecting the two of you were you wanted him the most.

    The kiss was soft and longing, as if this was the last time you'd ever kiss him. You liked kissing him this way. You both kissed so passionately and it erupted fireworks in your heart, making it beat at an erratic rate but it wasn't an unstable heart rate, he made you stable and secure.

    You kept thinking of his sweet words. You make such a difference in my life, you're not forgetten. You weren't sure why but they meant so much to you. It was easy to believe him and to forget about everything else. You liked it that way. He was your hope and safety.

    "You mean everything to me." He whispers, breaking the kiss to speak even more affectionate and comforting words to you. "Don't ever let anyone make you feel like you're not the amazing, warm, kind-hearted, understanding, breathtaking and beautiful person that you are."

    "You're everything to me." He finishes, placing a tender kiss on your forehead. His words only make your feelings for him grow wilder and more untamed. It wasn't fair, how did he have this effect on you? How could you control your feelings when he spoke like this?

    "Jaemin..." You mumble, your voice sounding croaky and dry. He had quite literally taken your breathe away. "Come here." You pull your arms out, motioning for him to move on top of you as you wanted to hold onto him tightly.

    Once his body was pressed onto yours, you find the words to speak. "You mean the world to me too." You confess, admitting it felt so easy and natural.

    You kiss his forehead a few times, smiling yourself when you felt his smile against your neck. "You're everything to me." You caressed the back of his hair, loving the feeling of his body pressed tightly with yours.

    You're the absolute world to me and I need you to be mine. I want you to be my boyfriend. Is what you should've said. Perhaps you should've been transparent about your feelings. But it was so hard to focus when he was looking at you so deep into your eyes.

    Jaemin scratches his neck, biting his lip while looking at you and he had this look in his eye that was unrecognisable. At first, you thought he was just horny and wanted to fuck again but then you realise that's not the case. He was trying to tell you something but couldn't get find the right words.

    You look at him puzzingly as he stumbles over his words. "Shana - I - I just really -" He breaks his own sentence off so many times, shaking his head and giving you a light tipped smile when you asked what was wrong.

    He finally finds his words. "I really do cherish you so much. You made me feel alive again. You made me happy again. You're my world."

    You instinctively pull him closer by cupping his cheeks with your hands. You wanted to kiss him and show him how much you cherished him too. But it was hard to make a move when he was looking so deeply into your eyes, his eyes still carried that alluring feel to them but they were mixed with something else which made your heart yearn for more. Affection.

    "You entered my life and you've been making me feel so happy ever since." He starts off. He couldn't believe he open he was truly being, it was so unlike him. But it only felt right. "I don't want you ever thinking that you don't make a difference or an impact when you've changed so much for me these last few months." He finishes.

    Your personality was infectious and everyone had fallen for it, including himself. You were a breathe of fresh air and your bare smile could light up the entire world. That's what you were to him, someone who came into his life exactly when he needed you and someone who could make him smile again.

    You hadn't only made his life better but you had graced everyone else with your presence. Specifically the friend group. Everyone was crazy for you, everyone always wanted to spend time with you. He understood why, a sole conversation with you acts as a life changer. You were an incredibly enticing being, both in how you carried yourself, looked and acted.

    He never knew that he would be able to smile and laugh again especially after such tragic events that occurred right before you met him. He was forever grateful that you had made him happy again, an emotion he felt like he wouldn't be able to feel again.

    You were his favourite person. You entered his life so suddenly and when he wasn't expecting it. He never thought he'd be able to see that breathtaking and stunning girl from the wedding again. He had just accepted that it was fate and that it would only last one night.

    But here you were, with him.

    You felt so giddy with the way his eyes were glued onto you. He was looking as if this was the last time he'd ever see you, as if his life was depending on it. No one had ever made you feel this beautiful or this important.

    He makes sure that you heard every single word and understood that he had meant it all. "Not just me but the entire friend group. Your presence makes such a huge difference and we've never grown so close to someone new so quickly. Especially me. Everyone is crazy for you."

    You bit your lip and held back a heartfelt tear as you thought of how much these people meant to you. You had met them just mere months ago but they were already such important people in your life. You felt more comfortable with them than your own family.

    They were your family and he was your world.

    You smile widely, nudging your nose against his as you spoke. "You're my universe and more. It's like I only started living when I found you." You admit, feeling as though he brought out a lively spark in you that you had never thought existed.

    He whispers sweet words of affection and praise in your ear. You had never been complimented so much. What made your heart flutter was that he had started with your personality, telling you how it shined so bright and then he complimented your physical appearance. Telling you how breathtaking you were, that sometimes he just wanted to look at you all day long.

    You appreciated that. Was this confirmation that your relationship had become so much more than physical? You didn't want to be naive but there was no reason not to believe him.

    Actually there was.

    You suddenly remembered that he had told Karina that your relationship was just sex. You felt a harsh sting again, you couldn't possibly stay happy for an elongated amount of time as you always remembered those words.

    But Jaemin admitting that it was only sex was a complete opposition to those sweet words he had just spoken. So you decided to become more hopeful about what Yangyang had said, that Jaemin was in denial and had a harder time understanding his feelings than you did for you own ones.

    You hoped that was the case.

    You were about to thank Jaemin endlessly for how much he had comforted you. But he spoke up before you could. "Sometimes I just think about how lucky I am."

    You look at him puzzingly. Asking him what he was lucky about, he hadn't elaborated and was just staring into blank space, a grin plastered on his face.

    When he turns his face to look at you, your eyes almost bulge out of your head. Why was his gaze always so powerful? Would you ever get used to it? But those thoughts sank into nothing as he began to speak. "I can't believe that you're here, with me. I never thought I'd see you again."

    "I felt so happy that night, the happiest I had been in an excruciatingly long time. It was all because of you."

    You feel a wave of realisation as you realise he's talking about the wedding night. It was a night that felt like years ago, it felt like another life time. You and Jaemin had grown so much since that evening, you had gotten so close. You both learnt each other's names firstly.

    "Me too." Was all you could say to him. Every time you tried to speak, you could never find the right words. But you didn't need to say a lot, he knew that you were feeling the same.

    And you were feeling the exact same feeling. You felt incredibly lucky too. What were the odds of seeing him again? It was as if the universe knew that the two of you were too important to one another. You needed to see him again, one night with him was not enough - it would never be enough.

    You were given one year with him. Although it was better than one night, you couldn't help but fear the day you had to leave him. "Jaemin, I don't wanna go back." You mumble, feeling immense guilt as you fear you may have ruined the heartfelt moment.

    Neither one of you had spoken about the fact you had limited time left with him, the last time you spoke about returning to China with him was when he offered the idea of starting a friends with benefits relationship.

    That was what it was at first, no feelings and no strings attached. That's why it was perfect that you wouldn't stay here forever. If you didn't feel anything for him then it wouldn't be a problem having to go back home, leaving everything behind wouldn't be an issue.

    But that wasn't the case anymore.

    Circumstances had changed. You hadn't expected to fall for him. It was no longer no strings attached, certainly not on your side. You couldn't imagine leaving and not missing him every day. Even if you weren't officially together it felt like you were at times and that was the hardest part of it.

    Jaemin has a look on his face that said regret and sadness. It was an expression you had rarely seen him wear. Now you felt even worse, you felt bad for making the mood dull by bringing up how you would have to go back. Even if it was the reality, the reality fucking sucked.

    He fiddles with the rings on your hands, feeling so useless, he wasn't sure how to make you feel better but he could try. "Can't you ask the college office if they can extend the scholarship? There has to be a way." One year with one another wasn't enough. It was so unfair, your story wasn't finished it, it had barely begun.

    You didn't reply but your face told everything he needed to know. That wasn't a possibility. You had already asked but funding wasn't possible, there were just other students who were more brighter than you and deserved scholarships extensions more than you did.

    You scratch your neck, gulping as you remember a conversation you had with the college board a few days ago. "They said that they could send me to a college in another country, just not the college here. But they said there was a low chance of that actually happening so it looks like I'll be going back home."

    You frown as he doesn't reply. You didn't even dare to look at him, you knew that his gaze would sell shivers down your spine. But then his hands came underneath your jaw, craning it up so you could look at him.

    You were surprised as his gaze wasn't strong and intense like it usually was. No, it was rather soft and fragile. This was incredibly unusual. He had always looked put together but now you were worrying about what the hell was going on in that mind of his.

    He forces a smile the second he realises that you had caught onto his expression. He hadn't even realised that sorrow had overcome his features.

    He didn't want you to feel upset. Even if he was fucking terrified about the day that you would be leaving, he would never show it, he had slipped up once but never again. He was going to be strong for you.

    He leans forward, closing his eyes as he rubbed his nose against yours softly. Your arms instantly wrapped around his shoulders, bringing his lips to yours. The kiss was sweet and longing, you felt your lips become one.

    "We'll be okay." He whispers softly. He wasn't so sure if he believed it himself but he wanted you to believe. He wanted to give you some sort of comfort in a situation that felt so... unfair.

    He wasn't sure what the future had in store for the two of you and it fucking terrified him thinking about it. But one thing he knew for sure was that you both had a bond that stood stronger than distance.

    "I don't wanna leave you." Your voice cracks and feels broken. Jaemin looks at you briefly before letting you hold his hand. He kisses it softly, "I know baby." He mumbles against your skin, his heart breaking as you grip onto him tighter in response. He could tell what was coming.

    He brings you into his chest, stroking your hair with his hands and leaning forward to press kisses to your forehead. His touch lingered even when his lips left and it was messing with your head even more.

    You would miss him so fucking bad. You didn't want to think about leaving now because it was in months to come. Thankfully, you still had a tone of time left with him.

    But it was hard not to think about it as it was the inevitable, it would happen one day and you could no nothing to change that. You hated feeling powerless. You hated not knowing what would happen next.

    Distance was an overlooming fear in your head, you didn't want to leave him. You didn't want to think about how much you would miss him. His presence, his voice, his kisses, his hands holding onto yours, sleeping next to him, hugging him, cuddling him, the sex... you would miss absolutely everything about him.

    You tried to stop the tears that brimmed your eyes from falling but they fell regardless. You couldn't control your emotions when they were this strong. Your grip tightening on Jaemin was a sign to him that you wanted him to hold you tighter and caress you.

    He brings you closer, letting you sob out into his chest. Sometimes that was the best thing to do, to let all your emotions fall out. Sometimes crying out was the answer.

    A good while after, Jaemin wipes the tears that stained your face as he realises you had stopped crying. He kisses your cheeks so softly, in the exact same places he had kissed your cheeks earlier when taking your makeup off.

    You look at him, your eyes wide and puffy. You sniffle, wiping your snot against your sleeve. You felt as though you should give Jaemin's bare shoulder a break, it was covered in your tears and snot.

    "It's only been a day into the New Year and you've already cried." Jaemin smirks, internally beaming when he sees you smile back and hit his shoulder lightly. He had just wanted to make you laugh, at least once before you had slept.

    He kisses your temple softly, resting his head on top of yours. "Sleep, my angel." He whispers, holding you tight. He was content to stay in this position with you laying directly on top of him. You were glad, you were content too.

    Just as you were about to doze off, you just remembered that this wasn't the first time that you had cried into the New Year. You had sobbed endlessly at the party, mere hours into the New Year. You had cried for many reasons, because of Hyejoo, Karina and Lucas. Although the actions from all of them stung like hell, you were really only primarily upset about one thing.

    You hated how much you were thinking of it, you wish you could just slap the thought from your head and make it leave permanently. It was annoying, the constant thinking about what he had said. You were annoying yourself.

    Jaemin had still said that your relationship was sex. That was real. You still heard those words leave his mouth. You felt so hurt because of him a few hours ago but he was the one who picked you right up. He wasn't even aware that you had heard him. You wonder how he would react if he truly knew, you wonder what he would tell you.

    You wonder if he was telling the truth.

    ✩☆★

    You groan against his shoulder when the alarm goes off. He turns the alarm off and tightens his grip around you all at once. You yawn, feeling guilty as you wanted to stay cuddled with him but college was starting again... you both had to get up or you'd be late.

    When you repeatedly hit on his arms and try to wiggle yourself from his grip, he groans loudly. "Five more minutes." His voice was thick with tire, it was always so deep, his morning voice always made you flustered.

    "Come on, we'll be late." You hit his bicep lightly, signaling for him to relax his grip on you so you could both get ready. But he was having none of it, he had heard you, you knew he had. But he carried on sleeping deeply, even making his snoring louder and holding onto you tighter.

    "Then we'll be late." You turn around to face him and kissing his cheeks softly in hopes to wake him up. "Wake up pretty boy." You mumble, laughing as you can see him smile due to the nickname.

    Your heart melted at the sight, Jaemin always blew your mind away in the morning. How was it possible for someone to look this good seconds into waking up? His hair was messy and fluffy and he looked so peaceful sleeping, he looked so cute. You felt bad for waking him up.

    Suddenly, he turned the two of you around so he was resting directly on top of you. He leans forward to press a sweet yet short kiss to your lips. He smiles, he loved seeing you in the morning.

    He would always be blown away by your mere beauty. In his eyes you were an utterly enticing and captivating individual, from the inner depths of your soul to the outside.

    Now he was so close to you and could see every single feature glistening under the dim light. He couldn't help but admire you, the way your light eyes crinkle at the corners when you smile, the way the sun cascaded down glittering upon your rose petal soft cheeks, the fire of your soul reflected in the depths of your eyes.

    You captivated him and his heart entirely. "My pretty girl." He whispers. You smile at him in return, the smile was so wide and giddy that your cheeks hurt almost immediately.

    "My pretty boy." You couldn't help but say back. You didn't care if it sounded cringe, you wanted to feel as though he was yours.

    He doesn't respond but he was currently kissing your neck softer than he had ever before, it was evidence of his gratitude. But the second he starts kissing you with force you knew you had to stop this. "Jae! Not know, it doesn't look good to be late on our first day." You try to sound commanding but your breathe became shaky as soon as he started leaving marks on you.

    When you feel his length pressing into your thigh, you realise that you're going to be late to the first day back at college and that there was nothing you could do about that. Jaemin always got what he wanted.

    However, when you make a wretching sound and empty all of your inside contents all over his body and bed, he immediately pulls away and the moment is gone. You groan, slapping your palm against your forehead and gritting your teeth awkwardly as you realise this was a new bed sheet.

    "Sorry..." You mutter to Jaemin who was currently covered in your puke. This was the second time this has happened, you felt so embarrassed. Why were you this terrible at handing alcohol? You could already feel a terrible hangover.

    Jaemin smirks at you, shaking his head. "If you don't wanna have sex you could've just said." He jokes, leaving your side to head to the bathroom, you assumed he was cleaning up when you heard the water turn on.

    Minutes later, he comes out with only a towel wrapped around his waist. You blush at the sight, not believing how incredibly hot he looked. His hair was wet and you could see his toned chest perfectly. You wanted to lick it.

    Just as you were about to get up and change into some new clothes, he comes to your side and rests you back down. You rise your eyebrows but soon understand when he wraps you in the covers. "I don't think you should go to college, you're so hungover and you're burning up."

    You were about to protest and tell him that you were fine but that thought passed when his lips caressed your burning forehead. "I'll make you some something to make you feel better then I'll get going."

    He smiles, rubbing your hands in between them as he felt how cold they were. Now you felt bad, you didn't want him to go through any hassle to make you feel better. "It's okay Jaemin, I'm fine just look -" Your sentence was cut short when you made another wrenching sound. Jaemin was quick to react and hastily reached for the bin, allowing you to vomit in a place that wasn't his chest for a change.

    "No, you're not fine." He shakes his head, propping a few pillows and making them all surround you so you were comfortable and secure. He covered you fully under the duvet, leaning his forehead against yours as he spoke. "You're obviously gonna vomit again and it could be on someone else who isn't me. They're not gonna be too nice about it like I am. I have an incredibly soft spot for you, I don't know if others will if you puke on them."

    You roll your eyes, you weren't quite sure why but you weren't sure how to respond. All you did know was that you had to oblige, you felt as though the only right thing to do was to listen to him.

    "I'll make you something to help you feel better." He leaves before you can reply. Minutes later, he comes back with a tray of food. You were surprised at how quickly he had made it.

    You make sure to embrace him before the food. "Thank you, baby." You smile, you loved when he took care of you. "I appreciate you doing all this, you mean a lot to me." The confession just spills out of your lips so effortlessly.

    You held your arms up. You hug for a good moment before he reluctantly steps back, pressing a chaste kiss to your lips before slipping from your grip.

    He turns around seconds before opening the door knob, looking at you in content for a good moment before speaking up. "Will you stay here until I come back? It's okay if you don't want too but no one minds if you do and you basically live here now, I just really wanna see you when - "

    "I'll stay, baby." You smile, not meaning to cut him off but doing so. He nods back, giving you one last glance which was supposed to be brief but ended up being much longer.

    He would never get used to how insanely breathtaking you were. He couldn't help it, it felt like his breath was stolen from his lungs every time you smiled and locked eyes with him.

    "Jaemin?" You rise an eyebrow and ask if he needed anything, he had been staring at you for what felt like minutes and had remained completely silent. He replies immediately to his name, shaking his head, "Nothing, I'll see you soon." He gives you a smile, blowing you one last kiss before opening the door and leaving.

    ✩☆★

    You finally stumble out of the bed just two hours after Jaemin had left. You had finished the food he had made for you but you were hungry again.

    You moan as you go through empty drawers and cupboards. Of course there was no food. You weren't entirely show how all the boys lived together and managed.

    You move your attention to see Renjun walking into the kitchen, his head hung low with airpods in. He pauses them and looks up at you and nod at you briefly.

    "Why the hell do you guys have no food?" You complain, to which he rolls his eyes at and mutters, "Hello to you too."

    "Why haven't you gone in?" You question, trying to create conversation as the silence was too awkward. Silence with Jaemin was never awkward but that was because you were so familiar with his presence, you had never really been alone with Renjun, just the two of you.

    He opens a bottle of water and answers before drinking it. "I feel like shit." At first you were going to ask him to elaborate but then you realise where he's coming from. He had probably had a lot to drink and smoke at the party, like you.

    "It looks like you and Jae had fun last night." He smirks, you instantly blush, had he seen you both? For the first half of the night you and Jaemin were constantly stuck by each others hip, you had never been so obnoxiously affectionate with him in public. The PDA was off the roof, at one point in the night you were dry humping him in a room full of other drunken people.

    You smile, memories from the first half of the night filling your mind, specifically the New Year's kiss. "We did." Renjun scowls at your expression, you were clasping your hands over your heart and you were grinning from ear-to-ear.

    Typical Renjun, he was an intense romantic but acted as if he hated anything to do with romance.

    "Well, it's good to see you home safe, Jaemin was pissing me off last night." You look at him in confusion, he takes this as a queue to explain himself further.

    "Jaemin just kept saying something about you 'dissapearing' without telling him anything and he was worried dead, he kept going around and asking if anyone had saw you. I've never seen him so stressed out."

    You frown slightly, you hadn't realised that Jaemin was stressing out this much after you left him. You didn't expect him to ask anyone where you were, you thought the messages were enough to him.

    You smile, "He didn't need to worry. I was okay." You stop as you realise that was a complete and utter statement far from the truth, you were not okay last night. You were a devastated mess. But it was so easy to lie about your true feelings.

    "I got home safe, he really didn't need to worry." You mumble, playing with the strings of the hoodie you were wearing, smiling as you thought about the girl who had saved you again.

    You were still so thankful for her, you would never be able to express the gratitude you felt. Atleast she ensured that you had a pleasant ending to a night you thought was going to end horrifically.

    You had thought about her as 'the girl' until now. You knew her name now.

    Jeon Heejin.

    Who the hell was Jeon Heejin? You were sure that she didn't go to the college. You would've noticed, you definitely would've noticed a beauty like that. Her personality was bright enough to make her shine in a crowd, let alone her breathtaking looks.

    You were dying with curiosity. You needed to know who she was. You hadn't forgotten that she warned you to stay away from Jaemin. You had to know why she had said that, you wished that you would've asked for an explanation.

    You wished you could see her again and ask what the hell she meant. She obviously knew Jaemin or else she wouldn't have warned you to stay away from him. You wanted to know how she knew him. You wanted to know why they seemingly had such a bad relationship.

    "Renjun, do you know who Jeon Heejin is?" You couldn't help but ask. You weren't thinking straight, you just needed answers and you assumed he would have an idea.

    He seemed like the person who knew almost everyone and was always aware of what was happening, even if he would never make it aware that he knew. So you had to ask him. You couldn't miss up on this opportunity.

    But you don't expect him to react the way he does. He chokes on the popcorn he's eating, almost dropping his phone and shooting daggers into your eyes. "Don't you ever say that name to me again." He says so seriously, avoiding eye contact with you at every cost. His harsh voice sent shivers down your spine.

    You look at him in utter shock, having absolutely no clue why he had reacted like that. This just made you feel even more confused. You still didn't know who the hell Jeon Heejin was and why she had warned you about Jaemin and you didn't know why Renjun seemed so offended at your question.

    You had just been staring at him for the last minute, none of you daring to fill the silence and he was still avoiding your gaze. He just stared into blank space and clenched his jaw.

    You felt bad, you had to say something. "I'm sorry Renjun, I'm sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable." You frown, scratching your hand nervously as you waited for him to reply.

    He shakes his head and says that its okay but there was still frustration and elements of discomfort present in his expression and tone. "Just don't... don't ever say her name again, we don't say it around here and especially in this house."

    You widen your eyes. Was it that serious? Why was he acting as if it was breaking the law to say her name?

    When he looks at you directly in your eyes, you almost jump. He holds eye contact with you to ensure you were paying full attention to him before speaking up. Something told you what he wanted to say was important.

    "Whatever you do, do not mention that name to Jaemin." He finishes, his voice sending a shiver down your spine. You nod almost immediately, not knowing why he was saying that but you felt as if you had no choice but to oblige.

    Renjun excuses himself, telling you that he had college classes to attend. He waves you a goodbye and looks at you dead in the eye for just three seconds, you had a feeling that was his way of letting you know that he was incredibly serious about this. He meant it when he told you not to ask Jaemin about Jeon Heejin.

    You shake your head in slight disbelief about what the hell had just happened. Renjun wasn't someone who would avoid a question like that, he was honest and straight to the point, much like Jaemin in that sense.

    But he immediately cut you off, not allowing you to question further. Something told you that in this very moment while you were asking him about Jeon Heejin, that he couldn't be straightforward and brutally honest. Something told you that he wanted to avoid a conversation regarding her like the plague.

    You were about to head upstairs and sleep some more but you stopped in your tracks, standing outside Yangyang's room when you hear light snores.

    You peek through the door slightly, seeing that he was awake and just staring into blank space. He had this look on his face, an expression that spoke of silence and solemn. You frown, it was so unusual seeing a non-smiling Yangyang.

    As soon as he makes eye contact with you, he hastily changes his expression back to positive and pats on the side of his bed. You smile and make your way to rest under the covers next to him.

    A smirk covers your face when you think about what Jaemin's reaction would be to seeing you like this... he was the one who pushed Yangyang off the sofa when he saw the two of you sleeping side by side.

    You observe him for a second, he looked as if he was so deep in thought. You wondered what the hell he was thinking about, in times like this you wished you were a mind reader. It would fulfill your curiosity.

    "Yangyang, you good?" You smile at him, it takes him a good moment to respond but when he does, he assures you that he's okay.

    "Just tired." You couldn't help but think that he was lying. He did sound tired. You had a feeling that he couldn't sleep and that his mind was racing on an overdrive.

    He stares into blank space and you think that a stance has taken over him. But then he speaks, keeping his eyes directed on the wall rather than yourself. "I'm never gonna be able to uphold my end of the bet, your chances are so much better than mine."

    At first you had no idea what he was talking about but then you sigh in realisation, the conversation with Yangyang finally replaying in your head. It was such a liberating conversation, you had learnt so much and it had stopped you from fully going mental.

    You frown at how unusually pessimistic he was being. "Don't talk like that, you never know how someone is feeling." You try to reassure him. It was true, you could never know what someone else was feeling.

    Look at this situation for example, no one would ever realise that Yangyang was having romantic feelings for Donghyuck. "What if there's a possibility he feels the same way? There's always a chance, don't give up before even trying."

    "Even if that's true your end of the bet will still turn out to be overly successful. I give it like a week. Sooner than I expected." He laughs when he sees your utterly confused expression.

    You raise an eyebrow, about to question but he speaks before you can. "We all saw the way he was doting over you when he came home. He's falling like mad and so are you."

    It was only a matter of time before you both confessed your true feelings and lived happily ever after. Yangyang knew that this was the case. He hoped this was the case.

    You smile, feeling giddy as you thought about exactly what had happened. He had cleaned you in the shower, he had taken your makeup off, he had so lovingly put you in your clothes, he had spoken such gentle and affectionate words that you knew were only for you, they meant to the world to you.

    Perhaps this was evidence that he had fallen like you had. Actions speak more than words, specifically his actions.

    Your smile is cut short though when you realise it would never that easy. There would always be struggles. "I wish I could just scream at him and tell him I want him to be mine, but there's so many problems that can arise from that."

    You wanted to cry as you listed all the potential problems in your head. It felt like the list was never ending. You just want it to be easy. Why is everything so hard?

    "Look," Yangyang starts off. You fear that you may have offended him without realising. You didn't want to seem annoying, it was clear that you had less to loose so maybe you should stop complaining in front of him. "He is so smitten for you. I said it last night, I'm saying it now and I'll always say it."

    You smile, these words did comfort you coming from Yangyang's mouth. You wondered how you'd feel if they came from Jaemin's mouth, it would be an indescribable feeling.

    This time he turns so he's facing your direction, you almost stumbled as he made eye contact with you. "The way he looked after you last night? You're the girl of his dreams."

    You couldn't stop the blush that crept onto your cheeks. You felt so positive, a feeling that felt too good to be real but here you were feeling it. Jaemin made you feel so giddy, you had never smiled so much before and he didn't even need to be in your presence, just the mere sound of his name has you grinning wide.

    You're the girl of his dreams. Well, You fucking hoped you were. You would be the happiest person on earth if he felt that way about you. He was the boy of your dreams and he had been for longer than you realised.

    However your mood shifts immediately at what Yangyang has to say next. "It kills me, envy is a bad emotion but I wish that Donghyuck could've done something like that for me."

    He felt jealous and he couldn't control it. He had no clue why he was feeling this way, it was irrational thoughts overcoming him. In all honesty, he felt envious of any two people who displayed affection in romantic ways.

    He wanted that for himself and Donghyuck. He wanted it so bad.

    He wished that Donghyuck would look at him the way Jaemin looked at you. The way Jeno looked at Sua on days when they were getting along. He wished Hyuck would look at him the way he looks at him. He wish the affection and feelings could be reciprocated.

    "But I can't expect him to treat me the way Jaemin treated you when you were hungover as hell because -"

    You cut him off without meaning to. "Donghyuck took care of you too." You mutter, realising that he didn't remember. You recall seeing Donghyuck help Yangyang into his room after last night.

    He looks at you, not believing you. But you nod. "I'm being serious. I remember looking back while me and Jae were going upstairs and there he was looking after you." You smile and beam when you notice the change in his expression. It had become so much brighter.

    You shake your head, your smile beaming and your heart melting as you take in how adorable his reaction was. "I know I'm overreacting." Yangyang mutters, embarrassment overcoming him. You shake your head immediately.

    "It's just that... nothing romantic or affectionate happens between me and him and probably never will. So I treasure the small moments, like when we hug, when his hand brushes mine, when we lock eyes... just stuff like that."

    You smile and nod in acknowledgment. It's not like you could relate because big things always happened between you and Jaemin, you were always kissing and touching one another.

    But you still treasured every single time his lips met yours, you treated it as if it would be the last time you'd kiss him. That was how much you treasured him.

    So you understood what Yangyang was feeling, some things in life felt entirely too good to be true and the main way to find comfort in that was treasuring every little moment, even if the moment felt minor.

    "Yangyang, can I ask you something?" You question, you hoped that he would have a sense about the topic of your question due to the fact that you were asking for his permission. You wanted to ask him something rather personal but wanted him to be comfortable with it, you didn't want to overstep.

    Much to your relief, he nods. "I trust you." He tells you. You couldn't help but smile wide at that. It was such a heart warming statement, you always wanted to be someone that anyone could confine it.

    "Okay, well I just wanted to ask if Donghyuck has any idea that you have a crush on him?" You face palm as you realise how much of a bad question that was, you were just struggling to explain yourself. "Like surely there's been atleast one time where he's had an idea... or one time where you both have a moment."

    "I honestly don't know -" Yangyang answers immediately with full honesty, he scratches his neck as he really thinks of what you had asked him. He had never really thought of it before. "Sometimes I know everything he's thinking and sometimes I don't, I have no clue what's going on in his head when it comes to love."

    He kept talking, which made you aware that he wasn't confused or offended by your questions. "There's been times where I've just stared at him and it makes the atmosphere a little awkward and he's just like... dude. But that's nothing big at all. I've never tried to kiss him or anything, I don't have the guts to."

    "Do you wanna know something?" You were about to respond but then you realise it was a rhetorical question. "He knows I like boys, he just knows and I've never told him. He just knows me. He always tells me that he'll be there for me and with me if I decide to come out. He tells me that he'll always be my side, especially in such a Conservative country like South Korea."

    Yangyang smiles and its the most real smile you've ever seen from him. A smile so bright and shining, you knew that only one person could make him smile like that. "The thing is, I do feel attracted to guys and sometimes I wanna fuck guys but the only guy I see myself actually being with is Donghyuck." You nod in acknowledgement, he was clearly struggling to label his sexuality.

    "He's the only guy I want to be with, atleast in this very moment." Yangyang freezes as he thinks of the future, something that terrified the hell out of him. He didn't know what was in store and he hated that, he hated the uncertainty.

    But he smiles when he thinks about him. He didn't care what the future held as long as it held a life where Donghyuck was still by his side. He couldn't survive without him. "He means more to me than anything else. It's so much more personal with him. I've never felt this way for anyone before, God I wanna kiss him until my lips fall off and I want him to shove his cock - "

    You widen your eyes, throwing a pillow at his face before he continued. It was all cute and all, Yangyang spoke about Donghyuck in a way that made your heart soft but you did not want to hear explicit sexual details.

    "You're just so lucky." Yangyang moans as he completely changes the subject. A laugh leaves his voice before he explains. "You both act like such a couple and do such couple things even though you're not officially together."

    You shake your head, you didn't feel so lucky. "It just confuses me." Sometimes it felt like he's was your boyfriend and when you remember that he's not, you get upset. "But you're right, we do very much act like a couple. We always have."

    You wouldn't even try to deny it anymore. Since day 1 the friend group had always tried to tease the two of you for being a 'couple.' At first, you both denied it immediately but now you both stay silent and endure the teasing, smirking and sharing smug smiles with one another.

    There was no point denying it when you did act like a couple.

    You can't help but smile every time you think of him. Yangyang catches on this and expands on his point further. "You have so many things to hold onto and get excited over, actual real things."

    You have so much to hold onto.

    That one sentence gave you so much hope. You were glad for Yangyang, he was such a good friend. His reassurance always gave you hope in what felt like hopeless moments. You didn't expect to become such good friends with him, but he was easily now one of your closest friends.

    You have so much to hold onto to. You used that sentence and applied it to your situation regardless. You did have so much to hold onto, you would never loose hope. There was always a chance that Jaemin felt the same.

    "I can't believe I found him." You accidentally say loud. You regret thinking out loud when you see Yangyang's reaction of pure disgust as he pretends to throw up. Seconds later, he's laughing his ass off.

    You cross your arms, pouting your button lip, "Shut up." You mumble.

    But it was true. You felt disbelief whenever you thought about Na Jaemin. You couldn't believe that you had found him in the most unexpected way. It was all a matter of pure coincidence, time and place.

    You had been friends with Sua for so long and had never known she was such good friends with someone who would become so important to you. Before coming to South Korea, you and Sua spoke on the phone constantly so it made you wonder, had you ever heard his voice in the background when speaking to Sua on the phone? Had you ever seen glimpses of him when calling Sua on FaceTime?

    The universe was such an interesting place. So large but so small.

    You never knew that the boy who stole your heart away from the wedding would enter your life. You never knew you'd be with him every day, you never knew you'd wake up and sleep beside him and in his arms. The thought made your heart swell.

    It was such a honest and beautiful feeling, to fall for someone you had no intention to fall for. There was no forced chemistry, just a pure and raw connection.

    Atleast from your side.

    You still had no clue what he was thinking.

    "I just want him to be my boyfriend." You blurt out without thinking. You widen your eyes as you make that confession, you were shocked that you had admitted that. You had never even thought of Jaemin being your boyfriend before now. It wasn't a thought that had ever come into your head so why did you just blurt it out now?

    Perhaps it was a thought you had unknowingly suppressed and as your feelings for him grow stronger, it become harder to suppress it further.

    Yangyang has a nonchalant expression on, he didn't seem shocked or surprised. He catches on your expression and laughs. "You're just realising?" Humor is evident on his face. Everyone knew how badly you wanted to make him yours.

    "Let me give you some good advice." He mumbles. You nod, you needed any help you could get. You had never seeked help from Yangyang but you felt as though he was a man with great wisdom and knowledge, specifically in the field of feelings.

    "Just tell him how you feel." He starts off. You wish it was that easy. You screamed at yourself in your head, over and over.

    Just. do. it.

    It would bring you so much closure. It would clear so much up. Speaking about your feelings could possibly be the start of a brighter future for the two of you.

    But one thing outweighed all those potential benefits. One thing that weighed down on you so badly. You were fucking terrified of rejection.

    "Shana?" Yangyang asks when he realises you've completely zoned out. You nod to let him know that you were present again. "Look, it's obviously easier said than done, but how are you gonna know if he feels the same way? You need to follow your heart and have a real conversation with him. You need to come to a mutual understanding before anything progresses or before someone gets hurt."

    "As much as I don't want to loose this bet, my odds are much lower than yours. I want atleast one of us to be happy."

    You look at him sympathetically, wishing that the two of you could get your happy ending. There was still hope that you could. You just needed to hold and to believe. "He means so much to me and I just want to be happy with him too."

    You smile, thinking of the boy who had taken your heart away.

    You had found someone who you wasn't looking for. You had found something so special without wanting to find it and that truly was the best feeling. It made everything so much more unexpected yet special.

    You had found Na Jaemin so suddenly.

    He was the hidden answer to all of your prayers, you just didn't know that when you had first met him. You didn't know that the photographer from the wedding would enter your life and change it with his presence.

    You and him were perfectly tailored to fit one another. It seems so unreal, yet so fascinating. It felt like you had found your forever and you never wanted to let go of him. But they say the tighter you hold on, the more it tends to slip away.

    You had found something so rare yet pure. You just wanted to keep it forever but it wasn't as easy as that. You feared loosing him.

    You adored Na Jaemin, inside and out, you adored everything about him. You weren't ready to loose him.

    ✩☆★

    "Yangyang, I'm going over to college I'll see you later!" You shout from downstairs, taking the last bite from your toast and slipping into your shoes. You were glad that he didn't question why you were going to school in the hungover state that you were in. You were so tired that you weren't bothered to talk or to explain yourself.

    As soon as you're through the entrance of the college you find yourself looking through the crowds of people. You were trying to find one person. You hated how desperate you were to be by his side and be in his company every second. It made you feel so co-dependent.

    shana - hey jae i decided to come in cus i only have one class today
    shana - where are you? its a huge building why can i never find you :(
    shana - its close to lunch i wanna see you :)
    shana - we can go to that caffè that we said looked cool the other day
    jaemin - hey i have classes all day sorry <3
    jaemin - i'll see you tonight baby
    jaemin - i'll take you to that caffè tomorrow some time
    jaemin - i promise
    jaemin - and text me when you're having your lunch i'll see if i can come over for a little bit
    shana - okay all sounds good :)
    jaemin - :)
    jaemin - and baby don't throw up on anyone else
    jaemin - you should've stayed home

    You were about to respond to his text message until you hear a familiar voice. A voice that was so sickening it gave you immediate discomfort.

    You try to focus on his name on the phone, you read through all the sweet text messages between the two of you in hopes to distract yourself from this horrid feeling. But it was so hard to do so when he wasn't here.

    "You're actually wearing a skirt?" She mutters in disgust masked in humor. She looks you up and down, her eyes glueing onto your thighs. "You should listen to me next time. I told you, your thighs look fat in skirts."

    She tuts, shaking her head and wiggling her index finger at the same time. "Everyone is staring at you. It's the first day and you've already managed to draw attention to yourself."

    You freeze in your steps, your hand shaking as you switch off your phone and look at her. She was already looking at you, scowling at what she saw. She was looking at you as if you were the most displeasing thing on the universe.

    You bite your lip trying to hold back the tears as you speak back. "Look please, just let me be." You wanted to apologise to her. You thought that it would be the only way to make her leave you alone. But you weren't sure what you could be sorry for. Truth be told, you had done nothing to hurt her. You would never understand why she was so spiteful towards you.

    You take a breathe as you look in the mirror, your eyes instantly moving to your skirt. Why had you chosen to wear it? You chose it because you thought you looked pretty in it but you just looked disgusting. You felt utter embarrassment, how could you possibly think you looked presentable?

    Hyejoo takes a glance at the door, walking over to it. You thought she was about to leave and you were ready to beam with joy. But when she shuts it and makes her way towards you once again, you couldn't help but feel nervous.

    She stands right in front of you, locking your eyes with hers and smirking. "Fine. You can keep on wearing those ugly clothes." Why was she speaking as if you needed her permission? She made you feel so little, you hated it. "Even though they make you look disgusting. Everyone is staring at you, but whatever. But you won't listen to me about that."

    You gulp, you didn't have the courage to even look at her, let alone speaking back. You wish you could be stronger, you wished that you could defend yourself and tell her to fuck off. But you just couldn't.

    Your breathe becomes shaky as she continues. Her voice is both chilling and awakening as she begins to speak. "But just listen to me when I tell you this. Jaemin doesn't care about you, he only sees you as a temporary fix."

    You wanted to tell her how wrong she was. Jaemin did care about you. You felt his care and comfort, did she know what things were like between the two of you? If she did then she wouldn't of said something so false like that. Despite this, you don't stop or correct her. You hear what she has to say.

    She has this sick snarl on her face, as if it was a warning that she was gonna say something that would crumble you completely. "He's gonna get back together with Heejin. He was waiting until she came back and now that she's here, he'll dump you to the trash where you belong."

    You freeze, it felt as if your breathe had stopped momentarily and that you had entered a brim of unconsciousness. You think of him to try and stop tears from falling out. It was such a stupid and annoying coping mechanism, were you that weak that you had to rely on someone else for your own peace?

    You knew the answer. Everything had become so clear now. You knew what she was to him but you had to ask nonetheless. "Who's Heejin?" You question, your voice barely audible but you knew she had heard.

    You were fearing the answer even though you already knew it. There was just something about her saying it that made everything so real.

    "Jaemin's ex-girlfriend of course."

    It all made so much sense. How couldn't you have seen it? That's why she had warned you about him at the party, that was why Renjun became so defensive when you had asked him about her.

    "What makes you think they're getting back together?" You couldn't help but ask. There was a reason why it was a past relationship. You didn't know much about Jaemin's last relationship but you did know that it ended badly and that he was left heart-broken. You had an idea it didn't end so well, Renjun's reaction to hearing her name and Heejin's warnings about Jaemin told you that.

    "Because they're Heejin and Jaemin." She answers almost immediately. She looked at you in utter shock and confusion, as if it was the most obvious thing ever, as if you were an utter idiot for asking it. "Jaemin and Heejin are the power couple. Everyone wishes that they were them."

    You furrow your eyebrows and look at her in more confusion. You didn't dare answer back, you were scared to find out more. You felt an immense wave of sadness and jealousy wash over you, you hated feeling this way.

    But you were thinking of what she had said and she didn't make any sense. Jaemin wasn't in a relationship anymore, they had broken up and clearly weren't together. How could they be a power couple if they weren't even a couple?

    She rolls her eyes, speaking before you can think further. "I know what you're thinking, that they're broken up. But it's a matter of time before they get back together."

    Why was she looking at you as if you were an alien who thought nonsensical rubbish? You shake your head, finally feeling a little bit of courage, just a little bit, to speak back at her.

    But her irratiating voice fills your ears before you can even speak. "It's only destined for them to get back together and when they do, he's gonna throw you to the side and not spare you one glance."

    You bit on your lip so hardly that it started bleeding. Look at you, a bleeding and vulnerable mess. You were glad that you weren't facing towards the reflection of the mirror, the sight would make you crumble.

    "Jaemin wouldn't do that to me." You try to say with utter confidence and reassurance but your voice appears fragile and small. She only smirks at you, as she should. You looked like a pathetic idiot.

    You didn't want to believe her, you wanted to believe that he would never do such a thing to you. You wanted to believe that he valued your feelings and would never hurt you. But you just found it harder and harder to believe as she speaks more.

    "It doesn't matter if they hate each others guts at the minute and aren't speaking. They'll get back together, they always do. They're Jaemin and Heejin."

    You felt envy once again. They're Jaemin and Heejin. She spoke about them as if they were such an infamous pair, a power couple, as if one couldn't come without the other. You hated that this wasn't you, you wanted this with him. You wish you were her.

    Perhaps she was telling the harsh truth. "He'll never love you the way he loves her, so stop trying so hard. You'll never be as good as her."

    He'll never love you the way he loves her. That hit like a ton of rocks, crashing and causing your heart to tumble into a million little pieces. Perhaps she was right, perhaps Jaemin would never feel romantic feelings for you. Perhaps you weren't worthy enough for him to see you in that way but she clearly was.

    You didn't know who she was but you knew whatever Hyejoo was saying did have a degree of factuality to it. You probably would never be as good as her. You had a gut feeling about that and your gut feelings were always right. You knew that this was right and you didn't even know her.

    Well you did know her.

    Not personally or properly but she was the girl from the party. She was the one who had saved you, from the small amount of time that you had spoken to her, you could tell she was a breath taking individual. Not only did her looks seem as though they were granted by the angels but she appeared to be a breathe of fresh air, a real show-stopping type of girl.

    Obviously she was, she made Jaemin fall for her, she was the one who ended his fuck boy days. You briefly remember Minju telling you that Jaemin used to fuck and sleep around before he had gotten into a serious relationship and learnt commitment.

    Jeon Heejin was the one who had caused this. She was the one who stopped his fuck boy days and caused him to fall deep.

    "Do you think that he actually cares about you and likes you? Do you think that you actually have a chance with him?" She cackles, taking notice of your solemn face and dismal expression. She shakes her head, her next words causing chills to run through your spine. "It's obviously just sex to him. That's all you are, that's all you ever be."

    Those words were identical to what Jaemin had said at the party. He too had said it was just sex. Did everyone else think that too? Were you that oblivious to the harsh truth? You felt so small and pathetic, as if you were the center of a joke that everyone laughed about.

    You hated the feeling that you appeared merely as a sex toy. You were so much more than that, you were so much stronger than the sex you both had. You hoped that he saw you as more than a sexual partner. You believed that you and him shared a real connection that was so much more than 'friends with benefits.'

    But what if you didn't? What if everything was just an illusion?

    "- She's prettier than you, skinnier than you, smarter than you, funnier than you, kinder than you. She's more likeable than you, she's more stylish than you. Did I say pretty? Yeah she's miles prettier than you will ever be and oh yeah she's probably better in bed - "

    "I got it." You cut her off, your voice shaky as you were on the verge of tears. You didn't even try to defend yourself, she was probably right about everything. You would only look like a fool trying to defend something that couldn't be fought for.

    She pulls powder from her bag, swirling the bricles in the pan and then applying it onto your face with a brush. You just let her, not being able to give a proper response to her reasoning. "I might as well try to help you out, to save that disgusting skin of yours."

    She scowls and complains about the acne breakout on your chin. You resist the urge to punch her when she tells you to wash your face. "You know this has happened before." She mutters, at first you thought she was thinking of some foul way to make fun of your appearance but you realise that wasn't the case. For now.

    "He's taken a break with Heejin before. He had sex with another irrelevant girl like yourself to fill the void. But then they got back together and he threw away the girl he was having sex with. He never spoke to her, looked at her or paid any attention to her again."

    She didn't specifically say it but you knew what she was implying at. She was saying that you were in this position now. that he was gonna do this to you. That you were currently the girl he was using to 'fill the void.'

    Mission accomplished, she succeeded in making you paranoid and to doubt everything you ever thought and believed about the relationship formed between you and Jaemin. You hated that you were considering believing her and not him or his morals and ethics, throwing someone to the side so cruelly didn't sound like something Jaemin would do.

    You head out of the bathroom, you needed to get far away from her, her presence was chilling and made you feel tense. You were walking until you heard someone call your name. "Shana."

    The voice was so familiar even though you hadn't spoken much to her. You instantly recognised who it was, you turn around to wear you heard the voice, a sick feeling in your stomach as you see her.

    There she is, standing mere feet away from you. She wears the brightest smile you've ever seen, God she was breathtaking. She was so effortlessly beautiful and she radiated such euphoric energy.

    Hyejoo was right, she was much prettier than you.

    No wonder why Jaemin was so in love with her.

    You try to shake Hyejoo's words from your head but it was so hard too. They were permanently engraved into your mind. She's prettier than you, skinnier than you, smarter than you, funnier than you, kinder than you. She's more likeable than you...

    She walks over to you, as she came closer to you, you couldn't help but feel radiation from her bright and ethereal aura. She was so infectious, her smile was so fucking beautiful. She was breathtaking.

    You wanted to hate her.

    Hyejoo had said that they were gonna get back together and that Jaemin would scrap you to the side. Was that true? You didn't know what to believe. You truly wanted to believe that he would never do such a thing to you, you wanted to think that he cared deeply for you.

    But the conversation with Hyejoo made you double guess everything you thought you had ever known, somehow it made you even more confused. Maybe Hyejoo was right. Perhaps you didn't have a chance with Jaemin and the possibility of him actually liking you back was little to none, while the possibility of him getting back with her was higher.

    Why couldn't Jaemin like you the way he clearly loved her? Were you not good enough? This filled you to the brim with jealously and insecurity, you just wanted to be enough. You wanted to be everything he wanted and more. The need to be his everything was over staggering and taking over you. Were you just not as good as her? Perhaps this was the harsh truth.

    She repeats your name again when she sees you stare into blank space. You smile at her, it was hard not to. She smiles once again and it tugged at your heart. God, you couldn't believe that this was the girl who was Jaemin's first love. You couldn't imagine a life time where Jaemin was in a committed relationship where it was more than just sex. That concept felt so unreal to you. It made you jealous.

    Things are supposed to feel awkward between the two of you, you were fucking her ex. But things were not awkward or tense, you felt relaxed and comfortable around her, especially since she saved you at the party.

    "Do you feel better?" She questions with concern evident in her voice, her features softened as she looked straight at you, genieune care across her features. It was so hard not to fall for her, no wonder why Hyejoo had said that her and Jaemin were a power couple.

    You smile, something that seemed so natural around her. "I'm feeling better, thank you for your help that night." You say in gratitude, you weren't even sure if you had thanked her yet, you didn't recall.

    "No problem, any time." You smile back, you couldn't believe how kind she truly was. Why had Renjun warned you to never speak of her name? Was this the same girl he was talking about? She seemed like such a sweet and friendly girl, she had helped you that night and ensured you were home safe.

    A silence overtook the two of you, it didn't seem awkward though, you didn't feel uncomfortable. But then she was looking at you as if she was having an internal debate, as if she wanted to say something to you but didn't know how to.

    It reminded you of how she looked at you before warning you about Jaemin. You hadn't had time to think about the warning. You had no idea why she had warned you about him. Jaemin would never break your heart. Did she even know him?

    Well, she did.

    Heejin was Jaemin's ex girlfriend.

    You couldn't help but feel envy as you thought about the fact that she once had Jaemin's heart. Jaemin was once hers, her boyfriend, her love, her other half. You just wanted him to be yours, you wanted nothing more.

    "Shana, can I talk to you about something?" She smiles nervously, you could tell that it took a lot of courage for her to tell you this.

    You smile back, nodding your head. "Of course you can." You try to say in the most reassuring tone ever. She didn't need to be nervous around you, you didn't want her to feel any discomfort.

    "Remember what I told you at the party about Jaemin? It was really vague and I feel bad that I didn't explain myself." She starts off and your eyes widen as you realise what she wanted to talk to you about. "I was just hoping that some time we could have a real talk? I really wanna talk to you. Are you free tomorrow afternoon?"

    You nod immediately. You wanted to talk too. You wanted to know more about his ex relationship, you felt nosy and intrusive but you couldn't fault yourself any longer. The curiousity was too much, who better to hear about his past relationship than his ex herself?

    She smiles at how quickly you nodded. God, her smile was fucking beautiful. How did she look so effortlessly gorgeous without trying? No wonder why Jaemin loved her so much.

    You take a deep breathe in, trying to shake these thoughts from your head. "Can I cook something for you? I just really wanna do you a favour after you helped me at the party so would you like to come to my house? I can make us something and then we can talk there."

    She was about to respond but someone comes up to you, well Heejin, their face in full shock as he spoke. "You're back?" He exclaims, pulling her into a tight hug. You just stood there a bit awkwardly as they embraced one another.

    "When did you get here?" He says with the biggest grin. You raise an eyebrow, wasn't Heejin always a student here? You thought she was. "I thought you'd never come back, because, you know -" He cuts himself off, the mood going creepily moody and tense.

    She nods, giving him a smile that was  reassuring. To you, the smile translated to 'I'm okay, don't worry about me'

    The boy offers to buy her some coffee, she obliges but turns her attention to you before leaving with him. She looks at you apologetically, probably feeling bad about leaving you like this. You shook your head, she didn't need to feel sorry.

    "Wait, let me give you my number quickly then we can arrange something." She offers, you nod, letting her add her number to your phone. She bids you goodbye, turning around once to smile at you.

    As soon as she smiled, the words Hyejoo spoke earlier weighed down on you once again. They'll get back together, they always do.

    They're Jaemin and Heejin.

    ✩☆★

    It had been a week since Hyejoo had spoken to you. Weeks and her words still haunted your head, you couldn't shake them no matter how hard you tried to. They consumed you whole, making you enter a terrible sleeping and eating pattern.

    Instead of being a reasonable and logical person, you decided to keep everything to yourself. Instead of going to Jaemin to actually hear from him and to give you better understanding of the situation, you caved all your thoughts inside and avoided him at all costs.

    You hadn't had a real conversation with him in the past few weeks. The last time the two of you had sex was just over a week ago. You guys normally had sex very regularly but you lied and said you were on your period.

    You gulp as you look at the message, not being able to give a proper response. You felt terrible. You had avoided him so much these past weeks, you were always coming up with excuses to get out of spending time with him and you had never felt more guilty for doing so.

    jaemin - when are you coming over?
    shana - i'm already here jaemin
    jaemin - wtf then why aren't you with me rn
    jaemin - come to my room we can watch something
    jaemin - really wanna see u
    jaemin - haven't seen u in so long baby
    shana - no this is yangyangs night
    jaemin - you were the one messaging me that it was "so long" and that you just wanted to fuck me during the last one
    shana - shut up
    shana - i feel bad for yangyang ok
    shana - you know how much effort he puts into these
    jaemin - he'll get over it
    shana - whatever
    jaemin - come up or i will carry you up
    shana - no you won't
    jaemin - watch me
    shana - definitely not coming now
    shana - plus im busy cooking and baking stuff :)
    jaemin - at the same time?
    shana - yeah lol
    jaemin - i'll come down and help you
    shana - no its okay, yangyang and hyuck are
    jaemin - why did you ask them and not me
    shana - you can't cook lol
    jaemin - shana i just miss you
    jaemin - a lot

    You look down at your phone and read text messages that he had sent you earlier. Although you hadn't physically spoken to him much these last few weeks, you had to message him to stop him from worrying too much.

    He had no clue what was going on inside of your head. He had no idea that you were feeling increasingly worried and insecure about the relationship between the two of you, that you were doubting and questioning everything.

    You knew you didn't have to lie, if you had told him that you weren't in the mood to have sex then he wouldn't mind or care. At times he craved just simply holding you or kissing you. You knew that.

    He probably believed that everything was fine and it wasn't his fault, it was yours. You were the one who was so bad at communicating with him. You could tell him everything else but you just couldn't confess your feelings to him.

    Your thoughts are cut when you feel arms embrace your body, nearly causing you to spill the spices all over the worktop. You roll your eyes, of course he ignored you. You specifically told him that you didn't need any help, that Yangyang and Donghyuck were enough help. But despite this, you couldn't help but move back, wanting to feel him closer. His touch could cure natural disasters

    "You're so wifey material." Donghyuck mutters. You laugh nervously as you realise that he was being fully serious. His voice sounding so lulled as he looked at you in full admiration.

    This only causes Jaemin to wrap his arms around you tighter, glaring at Donghyuck as he nestled his head into the crook of your neck. This caused you to nearly cut your hand. It was difficult to concentrate on cutting the vegetables when he was this close to you.

    He was such a distractment. You had the final straw when you could see him smirking, kissing your cheek softly as he whispered teases into your ear. Immediately, you shook yourself from his grip, turning around to face him as you spoke. "Jaemin, you're not even helping us. Get out." You tell him sternly, crossing your arms as he opposed. He hadn't said anything yet and he still held the same goddamn nonchalant expression on his face. You could just tell that he wouldn't listen to you.

    The only reason he was here was because he was jealous about you asking Yangyang and Donghyuck for help in the kitchen and not him. But it was because Jaemin couldn't cook or bake for his life.

    "I'll make you coffee the way you like it if you go." You smile, trying your hardest to convince him as there was no chance you'd be able to concentrate on cooking this meal if he was distracting you like this.

    He grins back immediately, a grin you only saw whenever coffee came into a conversation. "Really?" He questions, not being able to believe it. You were the only person who made his coffee the way he had liked it, you even made it better than he ever would.

    You had always made it for him until one day when he made you try it. He hadn't informed you that he added 8 expresso shots to it. You almost choked to death. Since that day you had refused to make it for him. Until now of course.

    You couldn't help the wave of affection that passed you as he grinned so sweetly. It was so nice to see him wear an expression that wasn't so moody and unbothered, it was so rare. The sight of him smiling was so beautiful, it made your head spin. No one's smile never had a huge effect on you.

    You nod. "I'll make it exactly the way you like it." You bring him closer to you by wrapping your arms around his neck. He smiles so wide once again and it was making you feel so giddy. It was so beautiful to see Jaemin reacting to something that he loved, even if he was smiling about coffee. He was a sight to see, especially when he was smiling.

    You were too distracted to kiss Jaemin back when he kissed you or to notice when he had left as you catched Donghyuck's gaze from the corner of your eye. He eyes were glued on the two of you, specifically you and they held this heaviness that seemed so unlike him.

    Weird…

    Donghyuck excuses himself, avoiding eye contact with you as he leaves the kitchen and heads into the lounge to sit next to Jaemin, the two of them starting to converse about whatever.

    Clearly Yangyang hadn't noticed the weird behaviour from Hyuck as he carried talking to you usually, as if nothing had happened. "Shana, he speaks about you like he talks and coffee." Yangyang mutters under his breath, in tacit acknowledgement of the fact that the kitchen door was still open.

    You shake your head, there was no way that was true. Jaemin spoke about coffee in such an intense way, it genuinely seemed like it was the only thing that made him happy, there was no way he felt that way about you.

    Those thoughts melt away as Yangyang whispers your name under his breathe, signal that he wanted to tell you something private and secretive. You had an idea you knew what it was about.

    "Can you do me like this um - it's not huge but reasonably sized favour?" He babbles, you raise an eyebrow at how he was dancing around his point. He didn't need to tread cautiously around you, he could always trust you.

    You turn the heat down on the saucepan so you could pay more attention to him and not worry about the food overcooking. Your smile makes his worries ease almost immediately, your smile could heal the fucking world.

    You nod your head once again, letting him know that you were all ears and ready to help him in whatever way he needed. He plays with the rings on his fingers, taking in a deep breathe before he speaks. "I was just thinking about the bet and…"

    You smile as you realise he was going to talk about Donghyuck. Talking about how in love he was with Donghyuck had become a very common occurrence. You loved how comfortable he was talking about him to you, he really trusted you. You always made sure to be there to listen to him.

    He was so in love with Donghyuck, so effortlessly smitten and in a trance by everything he did. You could easily tell that by just one conversation with Yangyang about Donghyuck. His smile when talking about him seemed brighter than the sun.

    When Yangyang finally finds his words, you shut your thoughts off and pull your entire attention to him. "I think I'm ready." He mutters, you could tell he wanted to expand but he couldn't find the courage too.

    You look at him, a light in your eye as you had an idea on what he was ready about. But you needed clarification to see if you were right. "Ready for what?" You poke further.

    "To tell him how I feel." He replies almost immediately and it almost made you falter. The confident and self assured Yangyang was back, he said that with no hesitation present. He was sometimes so self doubting and loathing when talking about Hyuck, he believed he'd never be worthy enough to be loved back by him. It pulled at your heart strings whenever he became upset.

    But now he seemed so set on his mind and you couldn't trace a single bit of self doubt in his features. You were happy that he had finally come to this realisation, he had a lot more guts than you ever would, you were still being a coward about telling Jaemin your true feelings.

    You were proud of Yangyang but clearly he read your expression as something entirely different. "Why did you do that?"

    You look at him confused when you see his expression fall. He's dead serious. His lips fall in a blunt line and his eyes gaze right into yours, he kept playing with his sleeve as he waited for you to answer. He was nervous as fuck now… you could tell. You knew him.

    "Do what?"

    He stares at you even more deeply. "That face, you froze for like a milisecond and then you forced a smile." He whispers, looking straight at you with a falter in his gaze. Your face fell completely as you looked at him, the silence both awkward and tense.

    What was he talking about? You don't recall your face freezing. "I don't - I don't know Yangyang, I didn't do anything." You mutter honestly. If you had done something then it was subconscious.

    He looks at you, his face so down and hurt. You hate to think that you were probably the cause of that. "Look Shana, if what you think I'm doing isn't right please just tell me and stop me before I do something stupid. I trust you."

    Your heart softens as at his last sentence. You didn't want to offend him or make him question the trust he had for you. You scratch your neck, trying your best to be fully honest with him. "There's no way for me to tell if what you're doing is right Yang, it's all about what you feel, what is your gut feeling telling you?"

    "The reason I come to you and open up to you is because you always do and say the right thing. It's just who you are and I secretly hope that rubs off on me. So please, just tell me what you're really thinking."

    You take a deep breathe in, making sure to tread lightly and think deeply about what you were going to say. You didn't want to offend him. "It's just - you and him have been friends for so long right? Would you wanna risk ruining a life long friendship?"

    You loved the idea of Yangyang finally releasing the burden and confessing, but you couldn't help but warn him. "You say that he's heterosexual, what if you confessing scares him? Pulls him further away from you? What if you drift away?"

    You immediately feel guilt as you see his shoulders sink, he stares into blank space and doesn't say anything for a while. He looks as though he's heavy in thought. You felt bad for posing these questions to him but you just wanted to give him some caution, a pre warning.

    Once he's finally thought about the questions you posed, he finally responds. Your heart thuds in anticipation as he speaks. "Can you do me another favour?" He questions, his voice low and shaky.

    You nod immediately. "Of course." It was hard to maintain your smile when he was wearing such an expressive frown.

    "Can you tell him?" He whispers, his voice so quiet and muffled you nearly hadn't heard him. You gulp, not wanting to think what you were thinking. "Tell him that I like him." He finishes, your eyes widening as he had really said it.

    You didn't reply but you stare at him in confusion. Why was he asking you this? It wasn't a good idea, something so personal and intimate had to come from Yangyang himself.

    You don't even need to speak for him to know you're contemplating this so he explains himself. "Please Shana. Just say something like 'I feel like Yangyang has a thing for you' What could go wrong?"

    You still stare blankly, not being able to believe he was asking you this. But you were slightly relieved that he wasn't asking you to speak for him and his feelings. Instead, he wanted you to speak to Hyuck as if you said suspicions that Yangyang had a thing for him.

    But it kills you, the way he was looking at you. He had so much hope in his eyes, you knew how badly he wanted and needed this. So you nod. You wanted to be a good friend. You did have no clue what he was doing and why he was asking you to do this but that didn't matter, all that mattered was that it would make him happy if you agreed.

    Plus, you felt bad about hurting him earlier.

    ✩☆★

    "Earth to Shana." You hear Yangyang call out, he claps right in front of your face and looks at you in slight concern. You shake your head, a gesture that was supposed to tell him that you were okay and that he didn't need to ask. He still did regardless.

    When you reassured him that you were completely fine and that the only reason you were zoning out was because of you were tired, he tells you what he wanted to initially. "Who's that girl?" He whispers only loud enough for you to hear.

    You furrow your eyebrows, not knowing who he was talking about but he subtly points in the direction of a girl chatting with Sua. You had never seen her before so you shake your head, telling him you had no clue.

    "I didn't even notice her." You mumble, feeling utterly embarrassed that you didn't even acknowledge the presence of someone new. You were entirely too engrossed in overthinking that you weren't actually physically presence. Your thinking demanded so much attention that it completely tuned you out from real life.

    It was as if Donghyuck was reading Yangyang's mind. He walks over to the new girl and places his hands around hers, you widen your eyes, not daring to glance to your side as you didn't want to see Yangyang's dismal face.

    They both walk towards your direction, both smiling wide. "Yangyang, Shana, this is Ryujin." He mouths something to the two of you while Ryujin was giving her greetings and shaking your hands.

    Yangyang wasn't the usual friendly guy he always was, he has this cold and frosty attitude on that was very unlike him. You knew what caused this.

    Donghyuck had mouthed that this was the girl he was seeing.

    You could almost feel the jealousy sprawling from his veins. No one else would know that he was feeling jealous but you knew. You had become so much more aware of things now that Yangyang had told you he liked him. You became observent of interactions between the two of them and it was so obvious that Yangyang was head over heels for Donghyuck.

    You hit his arm briefly, muttering a stop under your breathe. He was looking at Ryujin, his eyes locking onto hers and not moving for a second. It was easy to mistake his gaze for shock and surprise but you knew it was filled with intensity and frost.

    "Yang stop it..." Jeno whispers, although he defeated the point of whispering as it sounded more like a loud hush. He sounded rather embarrassed for his friend. Ryujin just chuckled nervously, asking if anything was wrong and when Yangyang ignored her and kept staring, she laughed nervously even more.

    "You're pulling a Shana." Jeno adds, his comment earning laughs from Renjun, Sua and Minju. You roll your eyes at that comment, they seriously wouldn't let that go.

    You widen your eyes as you realise that Jeno was assuming that Yangyang was looking at Ryujin that way because he was shocked by her beauty. Oh how wrong he was. It was so easy to assume that but it was far from the truth.

    He was looking at her like that because he was jealous and in disbelief. "Hyuck, you're not meant to bring anyone from outside the group to this night. You know that." He says with annoyance evident in his tone.

    At first Donghyuck thought he wasn't being serious but when he realised that he was, he just stared at him in utter shock. "Why are you being such a dick?" He replies with the same annoyance in his tone.

    Now the two of them were bickering back and forth, everyone chose to ignore it as bickering was common between the pair. Yangyang was complaining about Ryujin being here, he said that this was only friends exclusive. While Donghyuck was constantly calling him a prick.

    You chose to ignore it too as you didn't want to get involved, but you were obviously gonna check with Yangyang later and speak to him. You knew that he was hurt, his coping mechanism to being hurt was to start being overly defensive and argumentative.

    For the time being, your eyes glue on Jeno as you narrow them. "You know Jeno, I wasn't actually shocked by Jaemin's looks the first time I met him. Well - actually I was because God he's fucking gorgeous and - anyways that's not the point. My point is that his looks weren't the main reason for my portrayal of shock, okay?"

    He smirks in response, "Oh yeah I know you were shocked because you had sex with him before and you didn't expect to see him again." He laughs seeing your utterly perplexed reaction.

    Minju looks at you in utter shock, her mouth opening wide open. Shotaro claps his hands together in excitement, telling everyone that you and Jaemin were his "favorite couple" and that he was always rooting for you.

    Renjun however, just nonchalantly stares into space and gives no reaction. He knew everything, you were sure that he knew of this too. But how did he know? How did Jeno know? That was impossible.

    "You guys knew each other prior?"

    You shake your head at Minju. "No we didn't know each other but we had sex months before me meeting him here, that's the reason I was so shocked when I saw him. I never thought I'd see him again."

    You think of Jaemin in this very moment. You feel rather bittersweet about this moment, now everyone knew. Prior to this, this was a memory that only the two of you knew about. You loved sharing this memory with him, you treasured that it was something just for the two of you.

    Well, you thought that only you and Jaemin knew about that night.

    You widen your eyes at Jeno, wondering how the fuck he knew about that night. You didn't mind obviously, you just wasn't aware that he knew. "You know?" You had really thought that only you and Jaemin knew about it.

    He nods and you ask him to explain how, "I remember Jaemin telling me that he slept with the most 'beautiful and breathtaking' girl he had ever seen the night he came back from the wedding. His words not mine." You smile at that, his descriptions of you always made you heart melt.

    "At that time I never knew that it was you but he speaks about you the exact same way he spoke about the girl at the wedding, so I put two and two together and realised that you were the girl from the wedding."

    You raise your eyebrow at him, not believing him. There was no way Jeno was that smart enough to put all of this together. "Fine," Jeno admits defeat as he sees the way you're looking at him, "Sua told me."

    You look at Sua in surprise, she was being suspiciously silent in this situation. "But I never told Sua." You mumble in surprise, she just shrugs and says it was easy to find out even if you had never told her.

    Sometimes you believed that Sua had special powers, she was too intelligent for this world.

    "Did he really say those things about me?" You whisper to Jeno sometime later in the night. He doesn't understand what you're talking about at first but when he does, he smiles and nods.

    "Shana he talks about you all the time, he's so crazy for you." You smile at that, those words made your feelings for Jaemin grow stronger. But then your smile halters when you remember what Hyejoo had said, that you would never be Heejin and that he'd never love you like he loves Heejin.

    But this was Jeno speaking, he knew Jaemin better than anyone else so the logical thing to do would be to believe what he was saying and disregard Hyejoo completely.

    "I know Jaemin and I know that he's falling deep. I know that you guys are still doing this 'friends with benefits' situation but I think he sees it as more than that, but it's just that neither of you communicate with each other about it." He mutters, at first you're shocked as you wouldn't expect Jeno to say anything like this.

    "One of you need to start an open conversation about your feelings before everything goes haywire." He adds, you gulp as you realise he was right. But it was so hard to speak about your feelings for him, it would put you in a position of vulnerability and you were scared of being rejected.

    "What if he doesn't feel the same way?" You whisper, it was almost a hushed whimper. You sounded so weak, like someone who was genuinely scared. You sounded as if you were about to break. Jeno shakes his head immediately, he was so sure that something like that wouldn't happen.

    "It would suck for it to end in a mess because he's really happy Shana, the happiest I've seen him in a long time. Something really shitty happened to him a while ago and I thought I'd never see come back from that." He mutters, his throat sounding so tight and dry. You frown, this memory was clearly affecting Jeno.

    You hated the idea of Jaemin being hurt, you hated that something shitty had happened to him. He didn't deserve it, he never would. "He's okay now though, right?" You couldn't help but ask. Although he did seem fine. You were around him almost all of the time and you could always feel his positive energy.

    He seemed so moody, mysterious and unfriendly on first glance, as if he was someone who barely cared. But in private you got the real side of him, he was someone who cared so much. He was bright, affectionate and chatty. His smiles could heal the broken universe.

    Jeno smirks at you, you roll your eyes as you were used to this. "Yes Shana, he's happy again. He smiles for real now and as much as I want to take the credit, its all you."

    You look up at him in surprise, raising your eyebrows and pointing at yourself. He shakes his head at how you're acting, it was obviously you that sparked a change in his mood. "Yes, you."

    "Something shifted in him that night he had sex with you for the first time and he's never come down. you came into his life and saved him when he most needed it. When he most needed you. So thank you. He probably thinks this but won't admit it, atleast not now. So I'm saying it on his behalf."

    You take in all of Jeno's words, wanting to allow your body to finally relax and soften but you couldn't, not yet. Hyejoo's words still rang bells in your head, her warnings still made you spin and it made everything so fucking confusing.

    If Jeno was telling you that you were the one who had "saved" Jaemin and made him smile again for real, then why did Hyejoo tell you that Jaemin would abandon you the second Heejin came back?

    Well, Heejin was already back and you were still always with Jaemin. Nothing had really changed since her arrival, nothing from his side. He still acted the same with you, he was still the same loving and affectionate Jaemin. It was you who acted different, you were more paranoid and insecure, doubting and questioning everything to do with your relationship.

    You were hearing completely different things and it was confusing you even more. Heejin was telling you to be careful around Jaemin while Renjun had sounded irritated when you mentioned her name, as if she was someone the entire friend group hated. You were so confused and it felt like everyone was telling you different things. But Jeno was here. He's Jaemin's best friend, he knows him better than anyone else and will be sure to give you a clear answer to any questions you have. He could clear up your confusion.

    Take this chance and ask him.

    You won't find another situation like this, you won't find another time to ask him.

    "Jeno, what happened in Jaemin's ex relationship?" You shamelessly asked, not dating to look him in the eyes as you weren't anticipating the reaction that you expected. You could almost feel his eyes bulging out of the sockets, you could almost feel his shock at the unexpected question.

    "Shana - I - I don't - I don't think it's fair for me to tell you." He stutters over his words. You were shocked to hear his voice sound so quiet, he sounded so unsure of himself. This wasn't the confident Jeno that you knew so well.

    You wanted to ask him more about Jaemin's ex relationship, about why it was such a "tragic ending," why Jaemin was left so heartbroken and why Jeno worried that Jaemin would never be happy again. But it Jeno shuts down and refuses to speak just at the mere mention of Jaemin and Heejin's past relationship, how would you ask him all of those things?

    "I'm sorry." You apologise, fearing that you had overstepped and crossed a line. You didn't want to offend him. "It's just that... I feel like everyone knows about Jaemin and Heejin -"

    "You - you - you know Heejin? How do you know about Heejin? Shana please don't say her name in this house, just don't."

    Your mouth drops wide open as he cuts you off, his tone mixed with shock and caution. This was the second time that someone had told you not to speak of her name, what the hell happened between Jaemin and Heejin?

    You felt so bad, you could see Jeno's face and he looked rather upset and hurt, you weren't sure why but it killed you nonetheless. "Jeno, I don't know Hee - I don't know her but I know of her and I know that she's Jaemin's ex girlfriend." You try to clear up, you really didn't know anything about Heejin. That's why you were trying to ask Jeno, you wanted to know.

    "I don't know anything about her because you all shut off and go weirdly silent at the mere mention of her name." You frown, crossing your arms. You couldn't help but feel a little mad, you hated not knowing. You hope he could see how unfair it was.

    Jeno shoots you the most empathetic glance you've ever seen from him, you appreciate it. "I understand how annoying it is but you can't just expect me to share his personal business, you can only hear it from him." You hated how truthful he was.

    He was right, you could only talk to Jaemin about this. "But you can't expect him to easily tell you about why they broke up, it hurt him so much Shana, you can't expect someone to easily speak about why a relationship that seemed so perfect ended so badly."

    You shake your head, you didn't expect him to do anything even if it seemed that way. You just hoped for him to be comfortable enough to speak to you about Heejin. Perhaps you needed to lower your hopes and understand that he wasn't ready.

    "Just be patient Shana, I'm sure he'll tell you something. I say he's not ready but it could be a complete different case with you, he's different around you, I bet he'd be more ready to tell you than to tell anyone else."

    "He'll tell you one day. Just wait for him."

    You excuse yourself and head into the kitchen, you needed to sort yourself out and to force yourself to think straightly. You grip onto a glass of water tightly, so tight that you thought it was gonna crumble into pieces.

    But then your body freezes still and your thinking halts when you feel arms make their way around your waist, and a head make its way into the crook of your shoulder. "I missed you," He whispers, a tone so soft and affectionate it made your head spin with confusion.

    You could tell who it was without even seeing, you could always feel his presence. His strong arms, his lips against your skin, his hot breath fanning onto you... it all became second nature to you.

    He moves his lips to the your cheek, repeatedly pressing small kisses onto it. "Not now." You mumble, sounding more harsh than you intended. You move away from his hold on you, refusing to make any sort of eye contact with him. You cross your arms and pout your bottom lip, looking into blank space as you tried to stop your mind from rushing into overdrive. Hyejoo's words kept replaying in your head.

    He'll throw you to the side. He'll never love you the way he loves her. You'll never be her. He's gonna get back together with her.

    You were about to walk away and leave his side without a second thought. But before you could leave he spun you around so you were facing him. He holds his hand out for you to grip but you just look at it without moving, biting the inside of your cheek as you used everything inside of you to resist him. You wanted to hold his hand so bad. You hated how weak you were for his touch.

    You could see that he was slightly offended, you always craved his touch and he knew that, so what was different this time? You could see him scanning your face for any discomfort.

    "What's up?" He questions, his eyes beaming at you with concern. Despite the attitude you were giving up to him, he never reciprocated it. He remained gentle and soft with you. It made your head spin ever more.

    He could sense that you weren't feeling yourself and he hated that. It made him feel dry throated and it made his chest sting. You were probably his favorite person in the world right now and you always cheer him up, a bad mood isn't even familiar to him anymore because of you so he hated that you weren't feeling yourself.

    You wanted to be mad at him, you wanted to give him the silent treatment and act cold. If this was only sex to him then why did he have to hug you the way he did? Or kiss? It all seemed too affectionate and you wanted to put an end to it. It was causing you endless amounts of confusion.

    You were also growing secretly mad about your lack of knowledge regarding whoever the fuck went down in his past relationship. You felt as though you deserved an explanation by now.

    Over the last few months, you both have grown so close and you were always by one another's side. You told him about deeply personal things so you would hope that he'd trust you enough to tell you about his personal worries. Why didn't he trust you?

    All you did was trust him, you hated that he couldn't feel the same about you. It made your heart yearn. But then you remembered both Yangyang and Jeno telling you to give him time. Perhaps you had to be more patient and wait for him.

    But his words still hurt no matter how hard you tried to shake them from your head. You just wanted to be yours, all of him.

    Your relationship with him was becoming much more than pure sex. You both knew that, you hope he thought that. He was growing more and more important to you everyday and as the days go by - his actions towards you makes you wonder further if to him you were purely something to let all of his sexual desires out on.

    But you knew Jaemin, you had the honor to get to know him so close these last few months. You had felt like you had known him for years, he was a one in a kind and you hated that you was doubting his feelings and his ethics.

    "Baby," He whispers when he realises that you weren't answering him, he places his thumb on your cheek, rubbing it in attempts to bring you some comfort.

    Although he doesn't show it, he's over the moon that you weren't rejecting his touch. Even if it was something small, like a thumb to a cheek. He leans forward to brush his lips against your forehead. "Talk to me." His eyes were so full of concern and care, you felt like you had to answer him.

    You closed your eyes for a slight second, reveling in how much ease he brought to you. It felt like all your worries had evaporated as soon as he was in your presence. He was always so soft, always so gentle and always so kind.

    "I'm fine Jae, don't worry about me too much." You start off, leaning up to press your lips to his for a few seconds. You simply couldn't resist him any longer. "I'm just feeling a little sick." You lie, forcing a few fake coughs.

    Instinctively you reached for him, looping your arms around his neck, bringing him towards you. He smiles at this, placing a soft kiss to your lips as he brings you closer, pressing his body against yours.

    He looks at you deeply, staring into your eyes as if they would give him the real answer as to why you were upset.

    He didn't believe that you were sick. But he didn't push for you to tell him the truth, he was just glad that you said something. He knew that you would tell him what was really wrong in your own time, he hoped you would. He would always wait until you were ready.

    "Take a nap in my bed, I'll bring you some food when you wake up and then we can watch anything. I'll even watch a rom com for you." He whispers, kissing your nose and giving you a hug. You loved the feeling of his arms around you, you wished that you could stay like this forever

    You shake your head against against his shoulder. "You don't need to leave me anything." Your head feels heavy as you thought about what Hyejoo had told you at the party.

    Everyone's staring at you

    Your thighs are so fat.

    You hated that you had been extra mindful of what you had been eating recently, you let her words get to you. You couldn't shake them from your head no matter how hard you had tried to.

    Jaemin rises his eyebrows at that, "But I'm gonna make Jeno get those noodles you really love." He looks at you in confusion, every other time he had gotten you those noodles you were so eager and enthusiastic about them.

    When you don't reply, he lifts your head up to look at you. "What's going on?" He questions with genieune care evident in his eyes. He furrows his eyebrows and holds onto your hand tightly when he sees you struggling to reply.

    "My thighs look fat and that everyone's staring at me." You frown your bottom lip, not being able to stop the tears that fall from your eyes. You weren't even sure why you had told him, it all felt pathetic. You couldn't believe that those words had hurt you this much. You wish you could be the person to ignore it and move on but you weren't.

    "Shana." He calls out your name, placing both of his hands to the side of your face so you were looking directly at him. He fights the urge to wipe your tears, he knew it was best for you to cry out fully first.

    You automatically reached for him, tightening your grip around him and crying into his shoulder. "You're okay, I got you." He whispers, pressing soft kisses on the top of your head as he holds you tightly, slightly rocking you back and forth.

    "Do you wanna talk about it?" He asked, his voice so soft it almost made you sob even more. You cross your head immediately. If you did speak about it then you'd go onto the topic of Son Hyejoo, and then you'd be reminded of what she had said about Jaemin throwing you to the side. You didn't want to speak about anything that reminded you of that.

    "That's okay, baby." He hushes softly, holding onto you tighter when you start sobbing frantically and shaking in his arms. You see him shaking his head subtly towards the direction of the door. You turn around in his arms, seeing a worried looking Jeno's eyes glued onto you.

    "Go." He tells him, he didn't mean to sound harsh but he had to say something as you hid your head in his shoulder out of embarrassment. He could tell that you didn't want anyone else to see you like this.

    "I look like a -"

    "You look so beautiful." He cuts you off, not allowing you to finish that sentence. He shakes his head at you when you disagree and tell him that you don't. "You do so stop denying it."

    He wishes that you could see yourself the way he saw you, then you would never question your beauty again. You were the most breathtaking girl he had ever seen and you were stunning in every possible way. "I told you, you're my pretty girl." He whispers softly as he smooths the back of your hair, pressing soft kisses onto it.

    He smooches your forehead when you finally look up, your eyes looked so sore and red that it broke his heart. He lightly wiped tears from your face with his thumb. "And everyone is always looking at you because they've never seen someone so beautiful and breathtaking, that's the only reason. Nothing else." He clarifies, in acknowledgement to what you had previously said.

    "Do you remember when everyone was staring at you before we were headed to Chaewon's birthday party?" You nod immediately, that was a memory you vividly recall. You thought that everyone was staring at you because there was something on your face that you couldn't see. Well, clearly not. "It's because everyone was collectively in awe at how stunning you looked."

    "God I couldn't take my eyes off of you that night." He whispers, his voice so low and deep that it was almost a murmur. You smile as you thought about that night, he definitely couldn't keep his hands off of you either.

    You had never felt as beautiful as you did on that night. You remember the way everyone was looking at you, you remember the way Jaemin was looking at you. It only made you feel crazier for him. His eyes were your downfall. "You made me feel so beautiful on that night." You remember it vividly, you felt like the prettiest girl in the world.

    "Jaemin." You call out to him, rubbing your nose against his shoulder. Gripping tightly onto him, it was almost as if you were afraid that he would slip away.

    "Yeah?"

    "We haven't had sex in like five days."

    You could feel him smile against the top of your head, chucking slightly. He was used to you saying the most random and out of context shit so he wasn't even surprised.

    "You told me you're on."

    You widen your eyes. You did tell him that. It was a complete lie, you remember why you had lied about being on your period. You avoided him, you wanted to avoid having sex with him. But in this very moment you wanted to fuck him so bad.

    "I'm not that heavy anymore, I don't mind doing it, unless you do?" You look up at him, making the lie sound so believable. You knew that he didn't mind, you guys have had period sex atleast one or two times and although it was messy, it wasn't the hugest problem.

    Much to your relief he shook his head immediately, kissing your nose as he said "Of course I don't mind, I just want you to be comfortable."

    "But you need to sleep now." He drops pecks on your forehead, he rolls his eyes once again when he sees you protest silently and he knew exactly why. "I want to have sex now too but not while you're already upset." Jaemin mumbles, cupping your hand in his face, "Don't look at me like that." He pouts his lip, hating the sad look that you're giving him.

    "I just want you to feel good, that's all that matters to me." He admits, you felt as if you're heart was about to melt.

    "You make me feel good."

    He doesn't respond but he shoots you one the most warmest smiles you've ever seen. He grips your hand tightly, leading you up the stairs and towards his room.

    Once he's tucked you under the covers, he hovers over you for a slight second, the two of you looking at each other for a while and not saying anything.

    Then he places a brief kiss on your eyelids, telling you to sleep.

    "Goodnight my love."

    You were waiting for him to climb into his side of the bed but when you hear the door open and close, you realise that he wasn't sleeping with you. You pout your bottom lip, only wanting to sleep if he was by your side.

    As soon as your head hit the pillow, you mind went into overdrive and you thought about every single thing possible. You just wanted to stop thinking and to sleep. But you couldn't do that in the darkness, you needed Jaemin with you.

    You bring your phone out, too lazy to call out his name.

    shana - jae baby please come :(
    shana - wanna sleep with you

    You groan loudly when you see his phone on his side of the bed. You raise an eyebrow as you see what he's saved you as. Your eyes turn to the door when you see it open, much to your relief a (shirtless) Jaemin walks in, making his way under the covers and instantly moving beside you, wrapping his arm around your body to bring you closer to his chest.

    "You saved me as 'wedding girl' on your phone?" You question, raising an eyebrow as he ignores your question and presses soft kisses to your shoulder instead. You get why he didn't want to talk much, it felt like it had been decades since the two of you had spent some time together. You hadn't shared an actual long and sweet kiss in a while.

    He finally answers you. "I haven't changed the name since the night you gave me your number." You raise your eyebrow, asking him why he couldn't just save you as your actual name. "Well you didn't tell me your name so I just wrote wedding girl. 'Girl who stole my heart and took my breathe away' was just too long."

    You couldn't stop the blush that crept onto your cheeks, you cover your face with your hands and smile into them, feeling so giddy. You were glad that it was dark in his room, it hid how flushed you look. But when he cooed about how cute you were, you had a feeling he could see your reaction.

    "I'm gonna keep it saved as that, I like being reminded of that night every time I text or call you." I like being reminded of how good you took my cock and how your moans became planted in my head, he was thinking, but it didn't seem like the appropriate time to say it out loud.

    "Jaemin?" You call out his name, he hums in response. "I just found out that Jeno knows about that night, so does Sua... and now the entire group does."

    He pulls his full attention off from his phone and looks at you, he doesn't show it on his face but you could tell he was shocked. "How?" He's quick to question.

    "I have no clue." You mumble back, having no idea how they all knew. "Jeno just randomly brought it up to me in front of everyone else too. And it seems as though Sua knew all along." Yet you hadn't told a soul about that night, you and Jaemin rarely spoke about it.

    "That night changed everything for me." He admits, you smile and think of what Jeno had told you earlier. That Jaemin was on a high since that night and had never come down, he had said that it was because of you which you couldn't shake from your mind. "Thank you."

    "For what?"

    "For coming over to me that night." You smile at him, your eyes glistening as you looked at him. You looked so effortlessly gorgeous, as if you were ready to shine your light on him. "You helped me so much and - and you changed - um - you just saved me when I needed to be saved." He smiles, finally able to get his words out.

    You grin wide, realising that what he had just admitted was oddly similar to what Jeno had told you earlier. You kissed his cheek as you spoke. "I'm so glad that I saw you and decided to go over instead of going home." You smile, moving your head so it was resting right beside Jaemin's on his pillow.

    You were beyond thankful that you even went to the wedding in the first place, you weren't supposed to at first but everything just worked out perfect. It was fate, you couldn't imagine what your circumstances would be if you had never even made the cake delivery. "Do you think that we'd still be together if we didn't have sex on that night?"

    Jaemin nods immediately, you raised an eyebrow at how quick his reaction was. "It doesn't take long for someone to be completely entranced by you. It happened to all of us." He refers to the entire friend group who had become so familiar to your presence, you were definitely one of them.

    "I still think I would've wanted to start this friends with benefits relationship with you and no one else. That wedding night just gave us a head start, I'm more than certain we would've ended up this way even if we hadn't met at the wedding."

    You take a breathe in as he mentions the friends with benefits relationship that you were in. As the days go by, it feels less and less like friends with benefits, especially from your side. It was so easy to forget that this arrangement was meant to be purely sexual. It definitely wasn't just sex to you.

    But you hated that you were uncertain on what it was to Jaemin.

    How could it just be sex to you? How could it just be sex to him? It didn't make any sense. Friends with benefits don't kiss the way you do, they don't touch the way you do, they don't hug the way they do. They don't feel the way you do.

    -

    Later that night, you rest in your bed and stare at the ceiling. Overthinking as usual, it was impossible to sleep as you and Jaemin had taken a nap prior, you weren't tired anymore so you resorted to thinking about your life.

    Your thoughts come to a halt when you receive a message

    heejin - hey are we still on to talk today? :)
    heejin - im like.. standing outside your door and no one's answered it yet lol
    heejin - i don't mind coming over another time

    Fuck.

    You had completely forgetten that you were supposed to speak to Heejin today. The thought just flew from your head. You widen your eyes as you think of the absolute mess that you had landed yourself into.

    For starters, you hadn't remembered that you arranged to meet her today. Secondly, you invited her over the day where the entire friend group was over. Obviously at the time of inviting her you didn't realise that the group would all come over to the house. But still, the timing and coincidence made you annoyed at yourself. Your luck was terrible.

    You look at her message again. She didn't mind coming over another time. That did sound like a good solution to stop this entire situation from turning into a great mess. But you felt bad, she was standing outside of the house and had come all the way. You knew she wanted to talk to you, you wanted to talk to her too.

    Perhaps you did this for a selfish gain, but you went downstairs and messaged her that it was okay to speak today. You did this without thinking, as you look back on this situation, you wish that you could've thought about it.

    You were letting Heejin into the house the same time that her fucking ex was here. In the moment, you didn't think of what a bad idea it would be. You wish you would've stopped to think, to think about how you knew that his ex had hurted him. If you used your brain a little than you would've realised how stupid your actions were.

    But you wanted to know what happened in his last relationship. You wanted to know why she had warned you about him. You wanted to know why Jeno and Renjun both seemed tense and awkward when you spoke to them about her, the two of them telling you not to say her name.

    It all confused you so much, so you desperately needed answers.

    You take a deep breathe in, ignoring the fucking madness that was going on in the living room and heading straight to the front door. You were glad that she hadn't rung the bell, you didn't want anyone else to answer the door. You wanted to.

    "Hey" You smile, opening the door as she looks up at you and smiles back. God, what a breathtaking girl. She was wearing the most minimalist of clothes, the most natural makeup but still looked like a supermodel.

    She greets you, walking into the house. She has a slight startled expression plastered on her face which confuses you until she clears it up. "You know, I used to live here" She mutters in such shock, looking at the house in utter admiration. Her eyes brightening as she looked around, until they darkened suddenly as she looked at one particular photo hung on the wall, her eyes glued on the memory of you Sua and Minju grinning at Shotaro's birthday party.

    Her throat drys up, you almost got whiplash at how quickly her expression had changed from bright to dark. It was terrifying, you didn't know her well but every single encounter you had with her consisted of her being positive and happy. A smile suited her, not a frown.

    "It's changed so much." She refers to the house, her face froze as she spoke, her attention still plastered on that particular photo. You laugh nervously, not knowing why she looked so troubled and upset.

    You felt awkward so you changed the subject. "I'm sorry there's a few people in the house" You laugh, trying to drown out the loud and horrendous noises coming from the main room. It was 11pm, your friends had too much energy for their own goods.

    She shakes her head, smiling and she reassures you that it's okay. You were glad to see her smile again. It just suited her.

    "We can go to my room" You offer. She already knew how to navigate herself around the house, as she said, she lived her before. But what confused you was how she knew which room was yours.

    "This used to be my room." She mutters, her voice sounding dry again. You didn't know how to feel, this was an oddly weird situation. You couldn't feel as though you were a replacement for Heejin. You didn't want to put it that way but you couldn't help it.

    You weren't sure why she left the house in the first place but it was clear you could only move in because she left. You remember Sua suddenly telling you one day that you could move in with her instead of renting a new place because there was now room for you. You didn't know this at the time but you knew it now, there was room for you because Heejin moved out meaning you could move in.

    Her room was once yours and you're now fucking her ex-boyfriend.

    But this did explain so much. It explained why Jaemin knew where things were located in your room, he knew where the closet and bathroom was without you telling him. Plus he knew weird facts about your room that you would only know after spending a considerable amount of time there. Such facts included knowing that the door didn't close without a strengthened tug or that one of the windows didn't open.

    It was true that he did spend a considerable amount of time here. He always stayed over. But he would tell you these odd facts mere weeks into the two of you meeting one another.

    She cuts straight to the chase and it startled you a bit, you didn't expect her to be so straight forward. "Okay so I just wanted to speak to you properly and explain what I said that night."

    She pauses, plastering a smile on her face before she spoke but the smile didn't feel like a natural smile, it was a fake one. "I just feel really bad for leaving you hanging and not explaining myself." She mumbles, your eyes widened as you finally got time to think about what was happening. She was telling you why she had warned you about him, everything sank in and you listened to her with staggering anticipation.

    "But you were so drunk and I'm sure that you couldn't hold a single thought so I didn't tell you then. But I just really wanna talk to you and explain what I meant."

    "Shana." Heejin says your name so seriously, it almost made you stumble, you wanted to laugh due how nervous you felt. This suddenly felt like such a tense situation, when did the mood accelerate? "I just really want you to hear and listen, it's important."

    She glares at you, her expression so frosty and cold it made your insides feel shaky. "I was being dead serious when I told you to stay away from Jaemin." You look at her in shock. Why did she sound so rude all of a sudden?

    Despite this, you were quite excited to hear what she had to say. You were finally going to be hearing about his past relationship. You had waited for this moment. It felt as though everyone else but you knew about the shit that went down between them, you didn't want to feel left out anymore. You needed to know.

    You were about to respond but then you heard his voice from outside of the room. It was getting louder and louder as the seconds went by, fuck, he was coming into the room.

    Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

    This didn't look great, this situation was so fucking awkward and only you could be blamed for that. Jaemin was going to walk into a room where both the girl he was currently fucking and his ex-girlfriend were sitting side by side.

    You look at Heejin, who goes scarily still. She looks star-struck and she makes absolutely no movement or change in expression as she hears his voice.

    "Are you free tomorrow? Please say yes because the tickets are only the cheapest tomorrow for some reason they're hundreds of pounds any other day and I'm a bit broke and don't tell me that you'll pay for it because you keep paying for stuff and I wanna treat you -"

    Jaemin sees you first, smiling at you until he abruptly cuts himself off when he sees who's beside you. His face drops as he looks straight, in pure shock yet terror, he goes scarily still much like Heejin's was seconds ago.

    But the second he laid eyes on her, she smiles so bright and the light restores on her face as if it was never gone in the first place. She was looking at him as if he held the world, as if he was the only important living thing. God, she really did love him.

    You could tell just from that one stare.

    You couldn't help the strain in your heart as you catch onto how easily she relaxed and softened the second they looked at one another. He had that effect on you too.

    You really took this time to admire her, she was a beauty. Her hair was different from what you remembered at the party. It cascaded prettily down her shoulders in subtle waves. She had it dyed, just recently you assume. It was a beautiful shade of blonde, a shade that suited her so much and accentuated her features. The color was made for her.

    She was such a natural beauty, her style was so simplistic yet bold. She wore an oversized sweatshirt and a black skirt. How did she look so beautiful in something so plain? It made you so jealous, if you were wearing something like that then you'd blend into the crowd but she stood out and shined without trying.

    She continues to look up at Jaemin with bright and doey eyes. But he doesn't return the same expression, he doesn't even smile. It scares you, you've never seen him this expressionless. Sure, he rarely showed any emotion but he took it to the next level this time.

    He looks straight at you, fear struck in his eyes as he isn't able to properly look at her. He doesn't move, he stays just behind the door, as if he couldn't even be in the same room as her.

    "Jaemin." She calls out his name, her voice so fragile yet longing. She wears one of the most beautiful smiles you've ever seen as she looks up at him, her eyes radiating with so much brightness it was starting to reflect onto you.

    But why did she look so happy to see him? Wasn't she the one who was warning you to stay away with him and be careful? Yet she looked over ecstatic the second that she saw him, as if she could kiss him any second.

    You probably would've melted on the floor and cried if they kissed in front of you. But you shake those irresponsible thoughts from your head, there was no way that would happen. Right? He couldn't even look at her, his attention was still focused on you, as if you gave him the comfort he seeked in this situation.

    His eyes were glued onto your hands that you were fiddling with as you gulped and stared straight, your eyes wide open. You looked startled. Why were you nervous? Why were you acting like this? He frowned at the sight of that, hating if she said or did anything to make you feel this way.

    She stands up from your bed, making her way towards him. He looks terrified, which was weird, where was the confident Jaemin you knew so well? He stumbles backwards as he tries to move away from her before she can even come close.

    She frowns at this, standing still in her tracks as she looks genuinely offended that Jaemin doesn't want to be anywhere near her. She stands awkwardly, her eyes still glued on him. You knew she wanted to speak to him, you could feel her growing desire to do so.

    "Jae -" She says so sweetly, her voice so pleasant to the ears. You stomach twisted as you heard her say the nickname you loved calling him, you didn't like hearing it from anyone else's mouth. was this jealously you were feeling?

    She was about to speak but Jeno's voice from the hallway cut her off. Her eyes widened as she heard him speak. "Jaemin, stop forcing me to get your girlfriend those disgusting fucking expensive noodles if she won't even eat them. I swear to God, the amount of money I'm wasting on -"

    He cuts himself off when he sees who's standing in your room. He looks in shock for a slight moment, pure annoyance overtaking his features as he realised that this was real and not a dream. Well it felt more like a nightmare for him.

    "What are you doing here?" He questions, his features scowling as he spoke. He looked at her in such disgust. You couldn't believe how he was acting, why was he being so rude?

    You don't miss the way Jeno caresses Jaemin's back comfortably, clearly trying to ease his friend who visibly looked so tense and uncomfortable. He was still looking at you, not being able to look at her.

    She chooses to ignore the way he was looking at her, not seeming bothered by it. God, she had a strong will. If that was you then you would've stumbled on the spot and your anxiety would be off the roofs.

    She doesn't listen to Jeno when he tells her to get the fuck out. She seemed so unfazed by these words. Instead, she turns her full attention to you.

    Her intense gaze instantly made you feel small and vulnerable. "You literally told me that he wasn't your boyfriend. I don't get why you had to lie to me?" She mutters in confusion, her voice send chills down your spine. She turned her head sideways as if she wanted to intimidate you and it was working. Why did she seem like a complete different person? What was going on?

    Before you could reply, Jaemin speaks and you nearly jumped at his voice. You didn't expect him to talk. "Don't talk to her like that." He says, his voice low as his jaw locked. He was still unable to look at her, his full attention still on you.

    But he looks at her for a slight second, just one and it sent chills down your spine. His expression was so cold, it was like he could make snow just by his mere gaze. He looked like such a bitch. He was pissed off.

    "Jaemin - please can I talk to you? I've been meaning to for so long." She ignores his last comment, completely changing the topic. Her voice sounded so hopeful, you could tell how badly she needed to talk to him.

    Jaemin's jaw locks as he looks forward. You wouldn't even be able to tell if he had heard her due to how his already cold and expressionless features remain that way with no change. They hold the exact same plainess.

    "I was hoping to talk to you.... alone." She mutters, side eyeing you specifically. Why was she only looking at you? Jeno was here too. But she didn't seem to care about that, she directed it at you mainly.

    You laugh so nervously, feeling as though you weren't wanted there. You felt so awkward in this situation, what the hell were you doing here? Maybe you deserved to feel this way because you were the one who had caused an awkward situation like this. You look at Jaemin's dull face again and feel extreme levels of guilt, you were the one who had put him in this position.

    Your voice shakes as you speak, you weren't able to keep in one octave. "Oh - Okay! I'll just get going then." You say with the most forced enthusiasm ever. Your voice was loud and high, you didn't know how to act. You just wanted to get out of this situation. You couldn't see Heejin look at Jaemin so softly for any second longer.

    You feel so embarrassed. You were just so irrelevant and your presence must've been so annoying, especially for Heejin who clearly wanted to speak to Jaemin alone.

    But Jaemin clearly doesn't feel that way. Just as you're about to brush past him and Jeno, his hands grip onto yours, stopping you before you could leave. He pulls his arms back, pulling you back on tow.

    He brings you close to him, his grip still tight on your hand as he brings it to his mouth, kissing it softly as he could sense you were nervous. He rubs your hands with his thumb, caressing your worries and tensions.

    He doesn't speak. He just looks at you intentively, his heart rate relaxing as he looked into your eyes. He wanted to calm himself down, your touch stopped him from feeling the high fear and tension he did feel everytime he thought of Heejin.

    You feel guilty, you were both doing this right in front of her eye vision. Her eyes were glued to where your hands were connected, she took a deep breathe in and gulped, she looked so sad.

    He grips onto your hand tighter, content to just hold your hand and slip away from this terrible encounter. You take a look at him, he wears the softest look you've ever seen him give you. Fuck. He was upset and it was all because of you.

    Why wasn't he mad at you? It was only right for him to express annoyance at you. You were the one who had invited Heejin over and caused this tense encounter. But then you realise that he probably didn't know you invited her over, you had never told him.

    Fuck, he would be angry at you if he knew the real reason why she was here.

    You try to slip away again, trying to loosen his grip so you could turn around and never come back. But his hands tighten on you, not allowing you to leave his side. He looks at you with the softest expression plastered on his face and it made your head spin.

    "Shana... where are you going? Don't leave me - don't leave me alone with her." He whispers, his voice sounding so fragile and shaky for once. He examines your face briefly, his heart sinking as he saw how uncomfortable and down you looked. Why were you feeling this way? "Please." He pleads again, holding onto your hand tighter.

    "I need you."

    Your eyebrows sink and your eyes go heavy as you see how troubled he looks and sounds. You just wanted to kiss him, to cuddle him and reassure him that he'd be okay, that he had you and that you would always be by his side.

    But you see the way Heejin looks at the two of you and it kills you. She looked so jealous, so hurt. You felt extremely guilty and hurt, Jaemin clearly meant a lot to her. You wonder how you would feel if you saw him acting this way with another girl right in front of your eyes. You would probably feel like absolute crap and probably sob.

    The bitch in you wants to kiss him in front of her. To show her that he was yours, not hers. But you shake that from your head, not believing you were thinking those cruel mannored things.

    You look at her once, not being able to deal with the jealously and hurt in her eyes. "I'm sorry - I really - I really gotta go I think Sua's calling my name!" You ignore Jeno when he tells you that Sua was sleeping. You also ignore the way Jaemin looks at you, his eyes doting over you in hurt and vulnerability. You couldn't deal with the way he was looking at you, it made you want to crumble. You couldn't handle the sheer dissapointment.

    He needed you and you had let him down.

    At the party he never left your side for a slight second when you needed him. He was holding your hand all night, you felt safe in his arms. You were the one that left him eventually into the night, so he never broke his promise of being by your side when you needed him the most.

    You were just an individual who didn't think before you acted, you left him at the party when you needed him the most and now you had left his side when he needed you.

    You remember that night where he had said. "I need you too." You both made a mental promise to one another that you'd always be there when you needed the other. But now he needed you and you were letting him down.

    You were an idiot, such a fucking idiot.

    You finally leave the room and you feel like you can breathe again. You felt so much more comfortable and at ease when you weren't around her. Why did she make you so nervous? Or perhaps it wasn't specifically her but it was the sight of Heejin and Jaemin in the same room that made you shiver, it reminded you that they were once madly in love.

    You head downstairs to the rest of the friend group who were laughing together in the living room, completely oblivious to what was going on in your room.

    Yangyang notices you first, shooting you a smile which you struggle to give back. He notices that, narrowing his eyes as he caught sight of your expression. You looked so troubled and tense, he hoped that you were okay.

    He didn't even need to ask what had happened, you spoke before he could. "Heejin is in my room with Jaemin." You announce so casually. The room goes deadly silent, everyone stopping what they were doing to look at you. Some were looking at you in shocked and some in disgust at the mention of her name. How typical.

    Once you've convinced everyone that you were being serious and not joking around, a series of questions are thrown at you one by one. "What

    is she doing her?" Minju mutters under her breath, she couldn't hide the scowl on her face. You were so shocked by that, you didn't expect someone as sweet as her to pull that face.

    You didn't know how to reply. What would you tell her? That you had invited his ex over to hear about his past relationship because you were too scared to ask him? That you wanted some insight on the topic of his past relationship that makes everyone go deadly silent? That you did this so carelessly, not thinking about the fact that he could walk into the two of you speaking at any time?

    Donghyuck throws you another question which pulls you from your thoughts. "What are they doing in your room? They're not - are they?" He questions honestly, you could that he was being serious and that was what scared you. You wished he was joking, that he wasn't truly thinking of that being a possibility.

    You glare at him, not being able to shake the wave of jealousy and insecurity that washed over you. How has he even considering that as a possibility? "No, they're not fucking in my bed." You boldly state, not wanting to think of that again. It was an atrocious thought and Jaemin would never do something as low as that to you. He'd never have sex with someone else whilst you were in the same house.

    Right?

    You think of his face when you had left him as you sit down on the empty seat beside Shotaro. You couldn't shake the image of the sorrow in his features away. Your eyes filled with uncertainty, you hated that this was happening

    Shotaro rubs your back affectionately, immediately causing you comfort. He doesn't talk but his actions caused you to calm down a great amount. He covers you in the thick blankets, platting your hair as he reassured you that everything would be okay. God, he was so fucking cute.

    He was currently feeding you a flavour of crisps you didn't like. But you wouldn't complain, you were so grateful for everything he was doing to make you feel better so you ate those crisps as if they were your favorite flavour.

    Despite Shotaro's thoughtful attempts to make you feel better, you still felt like shit. You just couldn't get his fucking face from your head, or hers when she looked at him. Those images became engraved in your mind, playing one after the other.

    "He's gonna be mad at me." You mumble, biting your fingernail as you stare straight ahead, gulping as you thought about what the hell you had just done. How could you have been so careless? Why were you acting so mindlessly?

    You bite your lip to hold back your tears that were threatening to fall out. It was hard to control your emotions, the second you pictured his dull face when he told you not to leave him, tears are forced out.

    You felt guilty. You were the one who had hurt him, you were the one who had put him in this uncomfortable situation. You shouldn't be the one crying.

    "Why would he be mad at you?" Yangyang genuinely questions, not knowing why you were worrying about that. "You're not the reason she's come, he has no reason to be mad at you." He adds, sounding more and more uncertain as he wonders... what if you were the reason? But he shakes that thought from his head. Only interested in giving you hope and comfort, something you always did for him when he was in similar and sad positions.

    He was about to come over and sit next to you, probably to give you a hug. But Donghyuck beat him to it. He moved next to you, he was so close to you but you were too upset to even react to him or move away. You just sat there side by side for a few seconds, it was so awkward.

    You weren't sure what to do, you weren't sure what he was doing. If this was Jaemin then you'd probably already be on his lap, crying into his chest or shoulder as he comforts you. No double guesses. There would be no hesitation.

    "He won't be mad don't worry." He mutters awkwardly. This situation was so awkward that it forced your tears to stop, instead embarrassment took over. He pats his shoulder, a call for you to rest your head on it. You oblige.

    To anyone, this would seem like a sweet friendly gesture. But it felt different for you, it felt odd. You couldn't quite describe it.

    You were about to respond but then you heard Jeno. "-You can't just come in here smiling and act like nothing happened, get the hell out and never come back." His tone was so harsh and abrupt that it startled you.

    "I just wanna talk to him, please." You hear her voice, she sounded as if she was pleading and as if she was close to giving up. You felt so bad for her.

    You don't miss the way the entire group's eyes move in the direction to where her voice was coming from. They all wore the same unfriendly expression, even Shotaro who was always smiling.

    "No." Jeno responds immediately, you could tell that he hated being in the position of actually having to speak to her. But he was a good friend, he intervened and helped Jaemin out when he needed it.

    You nearly jumped when they finally came down the stairs, the two of them standing in front of the door to the living room, right in your line of vision.

    You were too focused on Heejin to properly react to Donghyuck holding your hand.

    You couldn't look at her.

    "Get. Out. Don't ever come back."

    This was a side to Jeno that was rare to you. You knew he had his moments but you never knew he could get this mad. He was getting impatient, glaring at her with this intensity in his eyes that could start a fire. Fuck, he was so mad.

    You head towards Jeno, Donghyuck was telling you something, you weren't sure whether he was just generally chatting or trying to make you feel better as you ignored him, which you later felt bad about.

    You watched as Heejin heads towards the door, that same dull expression in her face as she looks at the photo's hung on the wall again. She gives you one last glance, smiling at you. It made you so confused, why did her smile feel so genieune? You weren't sure whether it was a fake smile or not but you smiled back regardless, causing Jeno to mutter a disgruntled noise under his breath.

    Just as she was about to leave, you hear the sound of the staircase being stepped onto. You turn around instantly, your eyes locking onto Jaemin. You struggle to breathe as you realise that he wasn't looking at you, that he deliberately was drawing his attention away from you and onto Heejin.

    Fuck, he knew that you invited her over. Was he mad that you were the reason he was in this undesirable situation?

    He didn't even spare you one glance as he moved past you, pretending as if you didn't exist as he heads straight to Heejin. You were glad to see that he could finally look at her, you hated to see Jaemin so nervous. Perhaps this was a selfish thought but you hated how he wasn't looking at you in seek of comfort anymore. You wanted him to confine in you.

    Maybe he didn't need you anymore. Maybe he stopped needing you the very second that you had left him all alone upstairs to deal with an unpleasant situation that you had put him in.

    He looks right into her eyes, something that she revels in as she smiles back and it's one of the prettiest smiles you've ever seen. You could've sworn you saw him smile back too, maybe for a brief second, perhaps it was his body instinctively reacting to her.

    His expression was dazed and no longer tense. You couldn't believe how quickly he had managed to recover himself, it was a gift. He takes a breathe in, prodding his tongue to the side of his cheek before he spoke. "Fine, I'll talk with you."

    She finally speaks, seconds before she was staring at Jaemin it utter astonishment. You weren't sure why she was amazed, because he actually agreed to talk to her or because of how fucking good he looked. He was sporting a simple white tee and black joggers but he could make plain clothing look special. He was so hot.

    "Do you mean we can talk now?" She questions, not being able to believe that he actually was down for speaking. Moments ago she was scared that he wasn't even able to look in her direction let alone share a proper conversation.

    He nods his head once, staring so nonchalantly yet darkly, you could tell he was annoyed and you weren't so sure why. "We can talk in Shana's room." He offers, not letting her answer as he leads the way. He looks behind once to see if she was following, she was.

    Heejin and Jaemin came down exactly 55 minutes and 36 seconds later. You timed it.

    Your heart thuds in your chest as you watch them come down side by side. You couldn't help but notice the way he looked at her and smiled as she muttered something under her breath, you could tell that it was something that was only meant for him.

    His smile shone so bright, as if what she was saying meant the absolute world to him. As if she meant the absolute world to him. you felt envy as you had never made him smile like that. He had never smiled so brightly because of you.

    You couldn't help the elation you felt when you saw his smile, it was simply so boyish and heavenly. But your throat dried up when you realised that it wasn't you who made him smile that way. It was her.

    You couldn't take your eyes off of them. Both due to jealously and astonishment.

    Heejin grinned so brightly at whatever he was whispering to her. You couldn't help but admire the two of them, this was the first time you had seen them stand side by side and God, they were a breathtaking pair. A moment like this seemed so special, as if it had to be captured by a camera.

    Perhaps Hyejoo was right, maybe they were a super couple and maybe they were the couple. You could imagine the amount of times people stopped in their tracks when seeing them together. They were utterly show-stopping, They looked so beautiful next to one another.

    God, what a sight.

    "Text me when you get home safe, okay?" He smiles, his voice so soft as he speaks with her.

    She returned the same affection in her voice as she replied. "You've already paid for a cab, you know that I'll be okay." She rolls her eyes for some reason. God, you wanted to puke.

    They continue speaking at the door, you would've become a millionaire if you could earn money from how many times they've smiled and laughed at each other. You couldn't focus on the conversation as Minju coughs from beside you, clearly wanting your attention.

    You hum, not taking your eyes from Heejin and Jaemin as you just had to see the happy-smiley pair. You just couldn't take your eyes off from them. It was impossible. It's as if you wanted to cause hurt and pain to yourself.

    "You know I love you, right?" She randomly confesses. Moving closer to you and putting her arm around your back, resting the side of her head against the side of yours. You nod, embracing her touch and letting yourself melt into it as you tell her you loved her back.

    She plays with the ends of your hair, her touch making your heart beat regularly again as you sank into the comfort. "I just want to look out for you and be a good friend, I promise." She mutters.

    You had a feeling she wanted to tell you something. Something big. You nod without ease at her, you would never mistake her good-hearted intentions for malice. Minju wasn't a spiteful girl.

    "It's about Heejin and Jaemin."

    She cuts to the chase, you knew she was going to be talking to you about this. You were also glad that she wasn't beating around the topic. She was being upfront and honest, something that you so desperately needed in this very moment.

    You needed a wake up call and who better to give it than Kim Minju.

    "You know this has happened before." Her words creepily remind you of what Hyejoo had warned you about earlier. You had a terrible feeling that Minju would be warning you about the same thing.

    But you were thankful for Minju who wouldn't warn you in spiteful way or with any malicious intent. It was clear that she was looking out for you while Hyejoo just wanted to make you feel miserable.

    The two of you looked straight ahead to where Heejin and Jaemin where, still laughing about something they found oh so hilarious. You didn't miss the way they looked at each other, both smiling with this beautiful brightness in their eyes. It was as if they held the world between them.

    "I know how happy you and Jae have been recently but I love you and I need to tell you this." She says, her voice was so low, almost in a hushed whisper as if she didn't want to tell you this but had no other choice to.

    It's the way she looks at you which has your heart falling to your stomach in fear. She looks so empathetic, as if she felt bad for what she was going to say next. She didn't want to hurt you but she needed to tell you this.

    "I don't know a couple who loved each other more than Jaemin and Heejin did." She says so strongly. You frown at the thought of that, you weren't sure why. It was probably jealously killing you. But she spoke about them in the past tense, that they loved each other. Not love. So maybe you did have some hope to hold onto.

    "But they had their moments." She continues, "They become toxic and when they do, they go on breaks. Typically Jaemin fucks any other girl to fill the darkness. But the second Heejin and Jaemin get back together, which always happens, he completely disregards the girl and throws her to the side. Not giving her care or attention any longer. Not even a single glance."

    She didn't need to say it, you knew what was getting at. Even though her and Hyejoo's warnings were coming from complete different places, one was from a place of care and one was from a place of hostility, they were both saying that you were in this position now. that he was gonna do this to you.

    Fuck. You wished that this was a dream and that you would never wake up but the truth was that you were trapped in his demonic reality. You believed Minju, of course you did but you hoped you didn't have a reason to believe her.

    But you only had reasons to believe her. She was always honest and real with you. Plus there was obviously a reason that Hyejoo had warned you about something similar, even though they had different intentions they both spoke on the same premise.

    They both were saying that you were currently the girl who Jaemin was fucking to fill the void. You were the girl who he'd throw away without a second guess when he gets back together with Heejin.

    Hyejoo's warnings did stress you out. You thought of her words endlessly but at the end of the day it was easy to shake them from your head. She was an idiot and she spoke absolute crap. But now you knew that you had to believe the warnings as it was Minju informing you about them.

    Now you needed to worry. For real. Shit.

    "Come on, don't show her that this is getting to you." Minju whispers, caressing your hair and trying to make you laugh. You realise what she meant when you feel Heejin's eyes peered onto you. You could've sworn that she smirked, obviously loving tha this was making you feel this way.

    You feel the bitter coldness, you look up to see Jaemin opening the door for Heejin and giving her one last smile before she left. He stays behind the door for a little while, his eyes solely focused on her.

    When he closes the door, he turns around and heads straight to the stairs, clearly not interested in conversing with any of the group who are situated in the living room.

    But it's almost as if he can feel the frosty and tense atmosphere that takes over the living room. You weren't sure why but everyone holds the same cold look, clearly not keen on what they all just witnessed.

    You can almost feel Jaemin rolling his eyes as he speaks from the hallway, his voice loud and clear and directed at the group. "I can't stay mad at her forever. I'm moving on. Get over it."

    He mutters, seconds later going upstairs, probably to rest in your bed. You weren't sure how, but you could sense that he wasn't feeling himself. You couldn't quite pin point the exact emotion but you knew he had a heavy, burdening feeling weighing down on his chest. You can't help but blame yourself for that, you were the one who had caused him to be in this undesirable situation with his ex.

    Sometime later Jeno checks up on Jaemin, he comes down exactly 11 minutes and 12 seconds later, heading straight towards you. He knew that you were waiting curiously with questions, you were too scared to go and check on Jaemin yourself.

    "What's Jaemin doing?" You ask Jeno as soon as he comes down, he sends a choked laugh as a response. He shakes his head at you for some reason you can't understand. Perhaps he was still dissapointed in you for leaving Jaemin earlier in the night when he needed you the most. Jeno had witnessed the entire scene.

    But he still responds to you which you were grateful for. "He's sitting on your bed and staring at the wall." He informs you. You almost laugh at how specific he was being but you frown as he describes Jaemin's behaviour. He clearly wasn't in a right of mind, he was probably stressed and troubled.

    Your first move is to go upstairs to him, you couldn't wait with nerves any longer, you needed to see him. But before you can even leave you hear Jeno mutter something under his breath, something he only wanted you to hear. "Shana, you invited her over... Really?" He questions, tutting as she crosses his head and looks at you in dissapointment.

    Fuck. He know.

    Fuck. Heejin probably told Jaemin that you invited her over.

    Fuck. Now he would definitely be mad at you. But there was still hope, right? What if he wasn't aware of the actual reason you invited her over? What if he thought that you didn't know who his ex was? What if she only told Jeno that you had invited her over? What if Jaemin didn't know that it was

    you who had invited her? What if he didn't care?

    Plus, he didn't seem too bothered about Heejin being here. He was nervous at first but by the end of the night they were both smiling and laughing sweetly to one another.

    Maybe he would be mad because you still put him in such an uncomfortable position in the first place and you had gone behind his back, clearly seeking information from his ex instead of going to him.

    You ignore Jeno as you go upstairs. But you couldn't shake his expression from your face. The way it furrowed in confusion as he probably wondered why the hell you had invited Heejin over, or how.

    If Jeno was this dissapointed then you couldn't imagine the look of dissaproval in Jaemin's face when he found out. That was if he knew, of course. You felt so much shame as you think of letting him down.

    "Jaemin..." You say his name, walking into your room and closing the door behind you. Jeno was right, he was sitting on your bed and staring at the wall. His face was so pale and white, there was no color in his expression and it made you feel so uneasy. You couldn't believe how quickly he had switched up. He was all smiles with Heejin a while ago.

    That made you think, what if he was acting? What if none of that was real? But why would he fake it?

    He doesn't acknowledge you at first, he carries on staring at the wall and making no movement. But when he does look at you, your heart falls to your stomach and you almost jump.

    He knew.

    There was so much hurt in his eyes as he looked at you, his eyes carried this heaviness that made you want to crawl up on the floor and sob. He stares at you almost in disbelief, you wish you knew what he was thinking.

    He looks at you so fucking sadly, it eats you up inside. When he speaks, you almost collapse. "Shana... why would you do that?" He questions, his voice sounding so sore and thick with tire.

    You stare at him agape for a good moment, not knowing how to answer as you didn't know how to. What would you tell him? That you were too scared to ask him about his ex so you wanted to ask his ex instead? It would just give him more reason to be angry at you and you just couldn't deal with that.

    You nearly crumble, your face dropping as you try to speak. You wanted to say more but all you could manage for the time being was a faint and pathetic "Sorry."

    You couldn't deal with this, with him being angry and upset with you. None of this felt right but you would have to deal with it, you asked for this and it was what you deserved.

    You wanted to ask him more, to ask him what he spoke about with Heejin or what he was thinking of right now but something told you that he wasn't in the mood for talking.

    He sighs, finally stepping up from the bed. You stood still for a second. You were scared that he would leave you but he doesn't, he threw a pillow and blanket on his chair and was ready to make his way towards it until you spoke up.

    "Please - let me take the chair." You suggest, trying to stop yourself from crumbling as you realise he doesn't want to sleep next to you. Fuck. It hurt so much. This would be the first night in months where you wouldn't sleep by one another's side. You wouldn't even be able to sleep without his soft touch holding onto you.

    But maybe you deserved it.

    He shakes his head at you, still not looking in your direction as he mutters a very blunt but bold "No."

    You oblige, you didn't want to argue with him. You felt like such shit when he was just mad at you so you couldn't imagine how you'd feel if you were to start arguing for real. You would explode and cry.

    You make your way to the bed, a solemn atmosphere taking over the room as you both don't speak to one another, it was a deadly silence. Normally you both would be cuddling side by side in bed, kissing and being in your own little euphoria.

    But now you felt so alone on the bed, it was so empty when he wasn't hear by your side. You hated sleeping here alone as you suddenly start to shiver and feel enormous amounts of coldness. You look to the side to see him struggling to get cosy on the chair, you wonder if he was having the same thoughts and worries as you, you wonder if he couldn't sleep without you like you couldn't sleep without him.

    But just as you were about to close your eyes and try to get some sleep, you suddenly feel the weight shifted down on his side of the bed. Then he makes his way closer to you, placing his body securely on top of yours as he decides that he wants to be held.

    He came from nowhere but you were glad. God, now you could finally relax. You felt so tense free and felt some of your worries evaporate for the time being but you knew they'd come back the second he leaves your arms.

    You kiss his forehead so many times as he gets himself comfortable in your arms, you couldn't help but smile, your lips would never get tired of caressing his skin.

    You weren't sure what he was doing, you had a feeling that he was still mad at you. But you wouldn't complain, all you wanted was to sleep with him. It was a staggering need and you were glad that it was being fulfilled.

    "I'm still not talking to you." He mumbles against your neck, his body fully relaxing on top of yours.

    You raise an eyebrow, "I didn't know that you weren't speaking to me."

    "Well now you do."

    He cuddled himself onto you, holding onto you tighter than he had ever before. He hated it, you were the one who had hurt him so much yet he still came to you for comfort.

    He wouldn't be able to sleep with a clear mind if you weren't in his presence, yet you were the reason why he was so troubled in the first place. It all made him feel so weak.

    You froze, not being able to hold him back as his solemn tone truly sank in and took a hold of you. You had never heard him sound this upset and down. He had never clung onto you this way before.

    Fuck… you had really hurt him.

    You bite the inside of your cheek, after fighting the urge to embrace him further you finally set free and bring your arms around him, pulling him closer and resting your chin on top of his head.

    You felt the way he relaxed once you held him back, you felt his breathing become regular and you could've sworn you felt him smile against your shoulder, just for a millisecond.

    You hated that you couldn't make him smile for real or for long. The image of Heejin and Jaemin from downstairs never escapes your mind, the way Heejin made him smile so genieunely and beautiful made you envious.

    "What did you and Heejin talk about?" You couldn't help but ask, your curious side taking over. You weren't even sure why you were asking, you most definitely wouldn't be able to handle the truth.

    "I'm not talking to you." Is all he says, shutting you down immediately.

    You bite your inner cheek, not being able to stop comparing yourself with her. "But you spoke to her for 55 minutes and 36 seconds." You couldn't help but say, feeling guilty as you didn't want to call anyone out like that.

    "Well she wasn't the one to invite my ex-girlfriend over for some reason that's beyond me. Or to leave me when I needed her the most."

    You gulp, his words confirming why he was mad at you. Your suspicions were correct.

    You couldn't help but wonder why was he so upset with you. When he spoke with her he was so smiley and positive. But there was no way to know what he was truly thinking, humans are exceptionally good at guarding their true emotions and putting on a fake persona. Maybe he was just acting as if he was fine and only showed his true emotion and vulnerability with you.

    Maybe he was also a little upset about whatever went down in that 55 minute conversation. You didn't know what happened during the chat, you didn't dare to hear or peek no matter how many times you wanted to so there was no way to assess how he was really feeling during their talk.

    But you did see what happened after, you couldn't shake the image of his pure smile from your head. He seemed really happy, as if it wasn't a fake smile. It was so flamboyant and infectious, you still felt the pure joy radiated from his smile in this very moment.

    Maybe he was just mad at you and not at her. Perhaps that was the harsh truth.

    You look down at the sleeping boy in your arms, kissing the top of his head as you play with his hair. "I'm sorry baby." Your words linger, you hoped that he wouldn't be mad at you when he woke up.

    ✩☆★

    Your head shots up the second Jaemin approaches the table, you both lock eyes and he has the most expressionless look on his face. He was still mad at you. You knew that when he woke up this morning and went to collage all himself without giving you any goodbye.

    But... he did kiss you. Only once. Atleast he kissed you but you couldn't help but feel bitter regardless. Normally in the mornings when you woke up you'd kiss a million times, you'd cuddle or hug a bit, you'd have sex.

    But all he gave you was one kiss. It drove you batshit crazy.

    He told you last night that he wasn't talking to you and now you realised that he was being serious about it. You were sure he'd ignore your presence the second he came on the table and in all honesty it was what you deserved.

    You feel tension building up and exploding inside the second you see that he's walking side by side with Winter, the two of them laughing about something that they found so hilarious.

    He knows that you were always driven so jealous whenever he was with her. At times, he used that knowledge in a way to benefit him. He talks with Winter regularly on the phone because they often work together for photography projects.

    He calls her specifically when you were with him. Knowing that it makes you crazy with insanity and that you'd give him a blow job to try to distract him from whatever conversation he was having with her. It would work, it forces him to pull from the chat with Winter and to put his entire focus on you.

    But now you had a feeling he was only with Winter to make you feel any negative emotion, either hurt or anger. Your suspicions are confirmed when he doesn't take his eyes off from yours, a chill runs down your spine due to how shooken up his gaze made you feel. Jaemin doesn't even look at Winter while he's speaking to her, he just wants to see you. He just wants to see how jealous or upset you were by this.

    He didn't care what it was. Jealous or upset. Maybe both. Secretly, he hoped just jealous. He didn't want to be the cause of your sadness, not like you were the cause of his last night. He had a bit of empathy and care for your feelings, not like you did for his.

    He just wanted you to feel a fraction of the emotion he had felt last night.

    He maintains eye contact with you as he sits by your side, you were surprised that he was actually sitting next to you. You felt incredibly guilty about how your body reacted to his, the second he sat by your side, the tension left your body.

    Winter sits opposite him, the two of them still deep in conversation. They were speaking about photography, something you would never really be able to speak to Jaemin about as you didn't study the course. It made you envious, you wanted him to speak to you about photography. Not Winter.

    "Jae -" You mumble his name under your breath, only loud enough for him to hear. You knew he had heard you as he didn't even let you finish his name, he was ignoring you and carried on talking to Winter.

    Winter glanced at you for a while, her gaze so cold and icy. You felt physically sick every time she looked at you like that, she did that a lot. Her gaze was so subtle yet to intense, another thing she had in common with Jaemin.

    She turns her head to the side, her lips curling up in a wicked smile as she pulls out a container from her bag. You go blank as you realise she takes out cupcakes from the container, ones that you had made and given specifically for Jaemin.

    Fair enough, you deserved it.

    He sees your reaction, you couldn't hide the way your face dropped. You stare into straight space, trying not to see the glint in his eyes, it was so unlike him, it was so cold. He looked like such a dick.

    But again, you deserved it.

    You were ready to stand up, ready to leave his side and go to the bathroom. You did deserve to be in this situation but it still felt like shit. You couldn't bare to be in this situation any longer. Your face was quite literally embarrassing, you looked so small and vulnerable.

    But you don't stand up. Jaemin's head falls to rest on your shoulder before you can even move. It was as if this was his subconscious telling you not to leave him again and to stay by his side, he needed you.

    But it didn't seem like he needed you, not anymore.

    He still doesn't talk to you, you call his name a few times but he carries on talking to Winter and ignoring you. But this still gave you a massive amount of comfort. He was right by your side where he belonged.

    It was confusing though. He wouldn't talk to you but he didn't mind touching you, holding your hand or cuddling you like he did last night? It all made no sense and made your head spin. Finding out whatever the hell went on in his head was tricky.

    "Shana." Shotaro calls your name from afar, making all your thoughts come to an end. Taro's voice was so soft and sweet that you immediately stopped your thoughts to look up at him. You even saw Jaemin glance up.

    He was walking side by side with someone who you couldn't make out. But the second the two of them walk closer to you, your heart stops. You stop breathing and you freeze, your eyes almost shooting out of your head as you realise who's coming your way.

    You can finally breathe again the second Jaemin grips onto your hand.

    Your breathing returns to its regular rate, the simple contact his hand made with yours caused your body to relax. You felt no more tension, you felt safe again. It was crazy how his mere touch did that.

    You look sideways to him, your face struck of terror lessening when you realised that he was already looking at you. You knew he was still mad at you but you knew that he didn't care about that in this moment.

    He still holds your hand, content to keep it secure in his grip. He uses his free hand to place move you closer to him, his hand circling patterns on your back in a bid to calm you down.

    "I got you." He whispers to you, the softness you loved so much in his expression returning.

    You almost cried. Those were the best possible words you could have ever heard. You wanted to cry even more when he took his cupcakes from Winter, taking one in his hands as he took a bite from it, kissing your cheeks softly as he gave you a bite from the same cupcake, he knew that food calmed you down.

    "You got me." You whisper, those words repeating in your head as you chose to believe him ever so easily.

    "Yes?" You smile to Shotaro when he calls your name softly once again. You try your best to maintain a genieune smile for Shotaro and to ignore the person beside him, who was glaring at you as if you were a five course meal. He was absolutely disgusting.

    He scratches his neck, gritting his teeth as he looked at Jaemin beside who was staring hard at Lucas. Lucas had some guts, his mere glare was enough to send someone crawling away.

    You raise your eyebrows at Shotaro as you see a subtle trace of fear in his expression, what was it?

    He speaks to the beautiful boy beside you, who yawns and rests his head on your shoulder again. You weren't sure why Jaemin was so tired, he slept like a baby in your arms, you held him all night. "Jaemin, don't kill me. I'm just being a good friend and passing a message on." Jaemin raises an eyebrow at the fact that Shotaro called Lucas a "good friend."

    He couldn't stand him.

    "Shana, this is Lucas." Shotaro motions to the terrifying boy standing by his side. You realised that Shotaro was introducing you to Lucas, he didn't know that you already knew him. No one in the group knew but Jaemin.

    Lucas gives you a smile that was supposed to be charming but it was just chilling. He grins wide and pulls out his hand for you to shake. You shake, almost choking when he purses his lips and tries to reach for your hand.

    The hand that Jaemin was holding onto.

    Jaemin looks him dead in the eye, he moves your hands to the front of his lips to place a rather chaste kiss to the back of your hand, making sure to maintain eye contact with Lucas as he did that.

    Lucas widens his eyes, you felt as though you would be able to see the back of his skull. But he's quick to regain himself, glaring back at Jaemin as he spoke. "Would you do me the honour of going to the Valentines Day dance with me?"

    You almost fall over due to how shocked you were. What the fuck was he doing? He didn't say your name so you thought he was asking someone else but when he shares deeply at you, waiting rather anxiously for your answer, you realise that he was talking to you.

    Was he a fucking idiot? Why was he asking you out? In what world did he think that you would actually say yes. You couldn't believe his nerve. His arrogance annoyed you, he had gotten down on his knees and was looking so deeply into your eyes... you felt startled.

    You were about to reply but you notice how scared Lucas looks. Good.

    At first you're confused but then you see his eyes lock on Jaemin. He halts, not being able to move as he was frozen under Jaemin's intense and strong gaze.

    "Jaemin you're scaring the poor boy." Yangyang laughs, the entire table going silent and witnessing this exchange. None of the group would understand why he was acting this way

    Jaemin's eyes didn't falter once, they were glued onto Lucas's and said so much more words ever would, he hoped that it would successfully act as a threat and as a warning.

    He didn't need to speak, he didn't need to tell Lucas how fucking dumb he was being for actually considering taking you out, let alone asking you. Plus, he couldn't believe that he was doing all of this in front of him. It made his blood boil.

    "Are you guys like a thing - or? Hyejoo said that you weren't." You couldn't help the frown that made its way onto your lips at the sound of her name. "She was pretty rude, saying that Jaemin would never ask a girl like you to be his girlfriend and -"

    Jaemin still doesn't speak, he just stares at him silently. You thought that Lucas would just take that as a queue to leave but he remains, looking so awkward and uncomfortable.

    You were about to put an end to this and turn Lucas down, but then Sua catches your eyes from across the table, stopping you before you could speak. She has this glint in her eyes as she motions to Jaemin beside you, mouthing a "Say yes."

    You raise your eyebrows, confused as to why she says that. But then you realise she had absolutely no clue about the shit that has happened between you and Lucas. If she did then she would kill him, you were sure of it. She could be more ruthless and cold than Jaemin could be, she'd skin him.

    You tut at Sua, What was she trying to do now? She rolls her eyes at how you didn't see this as a perfect situation. The next words she mouths clears everything up to you.

    "To make him jealous."

    Yangyang discretely coughs from your other side, nudging you and telling you not to listen to Sua as her advice was terrible. You had no idea he was paying attention.

    Sua kicks Yangyang from under the table, throwing bread sticks at him and then at Renjun when she catches him shaking his head, probably in dissaproval at the entire entire exchange between you, Sua and Yangyang.

    You take one glance at Jaemin, he had the most nonchalant expression on his face as he stared right at him, his gaze not once faltering. Then you take a look at Lucas, who was still looking at you with doey and wide eyes. It made you feel physically sick.

    Lucas grins, turning his head sideways as he looks at you. You hated how deeply he had to look, it was as if he was examining and judging you. It made you feel so vulnerable.

    A crooked smile plasters on his face as he speaks. "You need to go to this dance with me." Jaemin scowls, he hated how Lucas was speaking to you. You didn't need to do anything with him. Jaemin was about to respond but Lucas beats him to it. "After you exposed me at the party its only polite to go to this dance with me."

    Jaemin jaw locks. You told him that you hadn't seen Lucas at the party but you clearly had. He frowns, instinctively rubbing his thumb against your palm, why did you lie to him?

    You shake your head at Lucas, did he have chronic memory less. "Are you taking about the fact that you're basically a millennial? That was Heejin who said that. Not me."

    The table goes dead silent as you say Heejin's name. Of course it did. How fucking predictable, you were getting sick of this. Even Winter looks shocked and dull.

    "So you just magically forget to tell me that you bumped into Lucas and my fucking ex? Shana, what the hell?"Jaemin mutters under his breath, fuck. He was mad at you again. He side eyes you, what the fuck did you get up to in the party?

    "How was I meant to know she was your ex Jaemin?" You respond immediately, you voice colder than you had intended. There was no way of telling she was Jaemin's ex girlfriend when you had met her for the first time at the party, especially not when he was so closed off about his past relationship.

    He ignores that, he didn't want to talk about her.

    You look forwards to Winter who was already looking at you. She spoke up as soon as you met her eyes. "Why the hell are you - Shana - the most obnoxiously sweet and pretty girl - friends with that bitch?"

    You almost choke as she complimented you. "Thank you?" You wouldn't expect her to call you pretty and sweet.

    You shake your head, she was wrong about something. You barely knew Heejin. "I'm not friends with her." You mutter, clearing up the confusion.

    She sighs and it sounds like a sigh of relief. "Good." She simply says. Your eyes widen and your eyebrows raise, she seemed so relaxed after finding out that you weren't friends with Heejin. Why did it matter so much? Why did none of Jaemin's friends seem to like Heejin?

    "Come on Lucas, let's go. We can practice the 7th sense dance because God - you really need help with it." Shotaro murmurs, he sounded like he was being forced to say it. God, he really didn't like Lucas, it was obvious that he hated being in his company. It just shows how cruel Lucas really was, that even someone as pure hearted as Shotaro could dislike him.

    You smile and wave Shotaro goodbye and ignored Lucas. Seconds later, your phone beams up, signalling that you had received a message.

    shotaro - saw how uncomfortable he makes you
    shotaro - got him away from you
    shotaro - finally <3
    shana - taro!!! :(
    shana - i love you
    renjun - what is going on
    renjun - shana stop having personal conversations in the gc
    jeno - yeah no one wanted to see that conversation between you and jaemin a few nights ago
    jeno - "you're my world"
    jeno - "you're my universe"
    jeno - give me a fucking bucket and just say you love each other already
    minju - right lmao they have 1000 synonyms for love
    shana - miserable fuckers

    You look up when someone coughs in your direction, a call for your attention. You smile as Yeonjun was standing beside you, you smile at him immediately, which he returns.

    Jaemin visibly looked annoyed. For some reason he hated it when he saw you with Yeonjun, you could practically feel him seave with jealously. Well, he knew that you were always driven insanely jealous when he was with Winter so he'd have to deal with it.

    "Are you okay?" You question, feeling a little awkward when he just stares at you with his mouth wide open. He looked so impressed, you weren't sure why. "Do you need anything?" You add, trying your best to smile and to hide your confusion.

    Jaemin just laughs amusingly at him. He loved it when boys made themselves stuttering and stumbling messes around you. Yeonjun couldn't even get a single word out, he just looked at you so agape and with wide eyes.

    But Yeonjun speaks sooner than Jaemin would've thought. "Shana - will you - will you go to the dance with me?" He questions, your heart melts as you realise how nervous he was, which was so unlike him.

    Jaemin coughs from your side, he couldn't believe that this was the second guy who had asked you out right in front of his eyes. He was used to this, it was common. So many guys came up to him and asked if you were single.

    You look over to the side to catch Jaemin's expression, it made your heart hurt. He looked as if he didn't care, as if it didn't bother him if you went on a date with another guy. He just remained calm and nonchalant, like he always was. It made you feel crazy, you just wanted him to care.

    Then you look at Yeonjun, he looks fucking cute as hell. His eyes were beaming so bright, as if they held the galaxy and he was fiddling with his sleeve as he waited patiently at you.

    Sua coughs discretely from opposite you, mouthing "Make Jaemin jealous again." While Yangyang coughs louder and throws another breadstick to Sua. They were clearly trying to give advice but it confused you as their advice differed so much.

    You look at Yeonjun again. You knew that if you said yes, that it would mean the world to him. But you couldn't agree until you knew what Jaemin thought. You wanted to see how he'd react, to see if he would be jealous.

    Jaemin raises an eyebrow at your hesitation. He expected you to decline Yeonjun immediately. You had always made it clear how you had zero romantic feelings for him. But his head was spinning as he realises that you were probably contemplating actually going with him.

    He had no idea what you were doing and why it had made him feel so fucking uneasy. He felt even more frustrated at you. Why didn't you just decline Yeonjun straight away?

    Winter takes the clear tension between you and Jaemin as an opportunity for herself. Her eyes shoot up as she looks brightly at him. "Do you wanna go with me?"

    "No." Jaemin bluntly responds, not even looking at her once. Your eyes widen. God, he was something else. Anyone else would let someone down easily but he just didn't care.

    He ignores Winter's disgruntled complaints as he turns his attention to you. "Why are you - what are you doing?" He whispers only loud enough for you to hear. His hand gripped onto yours and it made you feel so guilty. You felt bad for trying to make him jealous by listening to Sua's advice.

    Now he was looking deeply at you, you look back, the two of you staring at one another silently and not saying a word. What was that emotion that you could read on his face?

    His eyebrows furrow and his lips fall in a straight line. Anyone else could take this expression as his usual nonchalant one but this wasn't that. You could tell the difference by now. There was a subtle difference but it was noticeable, Jaemin wasn't that good at hiding his true feelings like he believed himself to be.

    He was hurt.

    "I asked you if you wanted to go to the same dance with me and you said no." You mutter under your breath, only wanting him to hear. But he doesn't give you any sort of response. He just ignores you and then turns his full attention to Winter, finding something so amusing with her. That was it. This was the last straw, you had enough now.

    "Fine, I'll go with you. Pick me up at 7 and don't be late."

    Jaemin detaches his hands from yours the second before you agreed to go with Yeonjun. It's as if he knew what your answer was going to be. You frown, feeling utterly pathetic the second his hand left contact with yours, you felt an uneasy and a terrible chill travel it's way down your body.  

    You can feel his sour energy, you were sure the entire table could. It releases from him and reflects every other direction, he had never been good at hiding his annoyance. It always felt as though this was the only emotion he expressed.

    He doesn't even spare you a glance when you call his name softly. Great, he was pretending as if you didn't exist again. You couldn't deal with this, it was making your head spin with confusion. One second you got along and then the next you weren't speaking. Why did it have to be like this?

    You weren't sure why you tried to talk to him but you did. "Why are you so mad at me?" You gulp, ignoring the fact that you looked like a complete and utter fool. It was obvious why he was mad but you just wanted him to talk.

    He ignores you. You expected him too. It was clearly his number 1 hobby these days.

    "Is it because I'm agreeing to go with Yeonjun? Jae - Jaemin you know that I'll turn him down and go with you without a second guess."

    You thought that was obvious. You did want to go with Jaemin instead and you had asked him to the dance a few nights ago. But he said no because he hated the dances the college held, especially the Valentines Day dances.

    But when you showed him the dress that you had already brought, he promised that he'd take you someplace else instead of the dance. You think of that and smile, it was such a good memory. It felt bittersweet thinking of it. You missed it. You hated that there was this pressing tension between you and Jaemin right now, it didn't feel right

    "No I don't want to go with you. Why would I want to do that?" He says in the coldest tone possible. You felt a stinging feeling at his honest and blunt words. But atleast he was talking to you, right?

    You start rambling to him, you weren't in the right state of mind to even form coherrant sentences or to actually remember what you said. You doubt you were making actual sense.

    But what you do remember is his reaction and it fucking hurts. You look over to the side to catch his expression. it made your heart hurt. It was so clear that he didn't care. Since when did you bore him so much?

    You were prone to rambling, it was common for you and normally he'd listen to every single word you were saying and would respond with enthusiasm and the same energy.

    But now you speak to him and he just doesn't care. He just looks at you as if you were the most boring person ever, as if what you were saying held absolutely no worth.

    You missed the times where conversations could easily spark between the two of you. But right now he just remained calm and nonchalant. It made you feel crazy, you just wanted him to care.

    You felt an indescribable poison attacking at your heart strings as you see the light restore in his eyes as he speaks to Winter. You felt so utterly hurt. You were supposed to be the one who made his eyes brighten, not Winter, not Heejin, not anyone else. Just you.

    But what if he just didn't want you to be the one to make him smile? What if his destiny was to be with Heejin? You don't forget the way Heejin made him smile yesterday, so utterly radiant and genuine.

    You gulped. Fuck. He quite literally just didn't care.

    This wasn't the reaction you were hoping for. Sua had convinced you to make him jealous and you wanted to do that. But he doesn't react the way you wanted him to when you agreed to go on the date with Yeonjun. He's not jealous. So he doesn't care.

    This wasn't what you wanted. The harsh reality made you want to stop breathing. What the hell had happened between you both? How did it get so bad? It was never meant to be like this.

    You weren't sure if he was acting, if he was only doing this because he wanted to make you feel bad too. Maybe he knew what kind of reaction you wanted from him when you had agreed to Yeonjun. Perhaps he wouldn't give you that reaction, he wouldn't give you the satisfaction of knowing you've made him jealous.

    You didn't know if he was being real or not. All you knew was that it fucking hurt, so much more than anything had ever hurt before. He can probably feel how tense you feel as he finally speaks to you. But his words weren't comforting and reassuring like you wanted them to be, no, they were harsh.

    His jaw locks as he turns his head to look you dead in the eye, you almost tumble. "I couldn't care less. You're not my girlfriend so go on dates with whoever you want." His words shook your soul. Your features dropped significantly as his eyes locked on yours, his gaze seemed so cold and it was making you feel so small. You hated it.

    You're not my girlfriend. You hated the harsh reality. You hated that this truth was coming from his mouth, it just put everything into perspective and made you feel enormous amounts of suffering and pain.

    "I gotta go." He murmers. But before he could leave your side without a second thought, you grip his wrist, stopping him from moving. He wanted to shake your hands off of him, just like you had done to him moments ago, but he couldn't. Resisting your touch was one of the hardest things he's ever tried to do.

    "That show we've been waiting for released today so we can get something to eat and then -"

    Humor was evident in his face as he looks straight at you. But it was clear he was forcing that face. "Go watch it with Yeonjun."

    That was enough.

    You weren't sure why you were so fucking mad but you were. Why did he seem as though he didn't care about another boy asking you out? This wasn't the reaction you wanted. You wanted him to care, you wanted him to be jealous.

    You held his arm quite harshly, which made his attention fall on you. He noticed the furrow in your brows, your blank and very angry expression that was clearly directed at him and your grip tightening on his hand. He didn't know why but the sight was quite adorable to him, cute. Then you lead the two of you to an empty storage room. Not one of your friends paid notice to it or acknowledged the two of you going off by yourselves, you and Jaemin leaving without notice or explanation became second nature for the entire group.

    You lead until he shoved the two of you into an empty classroom... I mean that did work for you but you were thinking of taking you both to an empty storage room where no one ever went to. Just the two of you, it became your go to place to make out and fuck whenever you were both in college. But clearly Jaemin was too eager. At the back of your mind you did fear someone walking into the two of you but then the thought of that did kind of turn you on.

    As soon as the doors shut, you both immediately grabbed hold of whatever you could hold onto first. For you, it was his muscly arms and for him it was the back of your neck. His hands (quite roughly) found its way into your hair and he gripped the strands to pull your face closer to his, he pushed his lips onto yours. It went from 1 to 100 real, his lips were biting onto yours and your tongues were tangling against each others.

    "You fucking slut," He starts off, as he pulls your tights down your legs, followed by your underwear and the skirt you were wearing. He was already naked and ready to fuck. You had no clue how he had rid of his clothes so quickly, you didn't even see him do it.

    It turned you on so much that he could rid of his clothes, make out with you, stop you from loosing your balance and help get you out of your clothes whilst giving equal attention to every single thing. Sexy, he drove you absolutely crazy.

    His lips desperately move against yours, slipping his tongue past your lips as he grips onto your ass, lifting you up and placing you down on a desk. You suck down on his tongue and you can feel his hardness trapped between the two of you, you move closer, flush against him as you straddle his waist with your legs.

    You want him to fuck you until you couldn't walk. You want him to make you scream, to moan his name until nothing else could roll down your tongue. You wanted to become undone in his hold.

    The desperation to be fucked so silly was over staggering so you couldn't believe it when you break the kiss, your hands that were against his shoulders push him back and the moment was gone.

    He furrows his eyebrows, staring at you deeply as he bit down on his lips, clearly not satisfied that you were ending this. It was ending a little too soon for his liking.

    But this couldn't happen. You couldn't have sex and not communicate with one another. You always did this when you were mad at one another, you'd fuck and ignore the issues. But not this time. You wouldn't allow it. You needed to have a real conversation.

    "We need to talk." You bluntly say, staring straight as you didn't miss how he rolled his eyes. He crosses, trying to kiss you again but you dodged it and crossed your arms to show that you were being serious about this.

    "About what?" He questions, at first you were going to answer but then you realise he was being sarcastic. "Do you wanna talk about how you invited my ex over to get information about our relationship? Or how you did it behind my back knowing that my past relationship is a sensitive topic? Or how you left me when I needed you with me? Or how you're fucking going to the dance with another guy and how - "

    "I got it." You mutter, not being able to meet his eyes that glare at yours so strongly. You chew the inside of your cheek as he really put everything into perspective. Fuck, you acted so horribly and it made you hate yourself so much. You hated how much you had hurt him.

    But you couldn't believe one thing he said. Just one. "How am I meant to know that your past relationship is a sensitive topic? You've never spoken to me about her." You just had to say it. You felt relief as you were finally bringing up this topic, you had wanted to speak about his ex to him one way or another.

    He narrows his eyes at you, staring at you in pure disbelief. "Everyone knows."

    You look at him in more disbelief. "I fucking don't." You wanted to scream, not believing how he had expected you to know. You were new here, you weren't around him when he was with Heejin like Yangyang so truthfully pointed out to you once.

    You stare straight at him, not believing the confidence that surges past you as you express your confusion further to him. "You're acting so mad at me for inviting her here but you clearly didn't mind it. You spoke to her for 55 minutes and 36 fucking seconds Jae."

    "That's a lot of time. I'm sure you got cosy during that time." Your throat goes dry as you picture the way they bid goodbye to each other after the chat. You think of their smiles once again, a burning feeling thumping down on your heart.

    He locks his eyes on you, the color leaving his face for a slight second and then being replaced with pure frustration. "You don't know what happened in that time Shana. You have no clue what went down. Stop making fucking assumptions."

    "Are you gonna tell me or - ?"

    "No." He cuts you off, clearly not wanting you speak to you about the talk.

    You roll your eyes. "You can't expect me to be sensitive and mindful around you when it's to do with your ex. I don't know anything about her, I don't know anything about the two of you. I have no fucking clue. Would you ever tell me?"

    "Did you ever ask me?."

    "Would you tell me even if I asked?"

    "No." He sharply says, as if it was the thing he was the most surest off. You try to suppress the sinking feeling inside. He didn't fucking trust you, he would never confide in you the way you opened up to him.

    You fucking hated it. You hated that everyone else knew but you. Jaemin had told you so many times that you were his favorite person in the world but he didn't trust you enough to tell you about his ex?

    Fuck him. Fuck everything you've ever felt for him.

    "Fine. Take her to the dance instead."

    ★✭✰

    You breathe in deeply, smoothing your dress out and opening the door for Yeonjun. He had asked you to the dance about a week ago and the plans were still going ahead. In all honesty you weren't looking forward to going, there was only one person who you wanted to go with.

    But he didn't want to go with you.

    You shake the thoughts from your head, you would refuse to be upset today. You would refuse to think of him, you were going to have a good night no matter what.

    You open the door expecting to see Yeonjun standing with a charming smile and flowers in his hand. But he wasn't there when you opened the door. "Jaemin, what are you doing?" You shake your head, almost rolling your eyes. He hadn't spoken to you since last week, he clearly only wanted to talk to you right before Yeonjun was supposed to take you out.

    It took him a few seconds to answer as his eyes stayed lingered on your face, he took in a deep breath as he looked at your lips. You hadn't kissed since last week.

    "You look so beautiful." He mumbles, he was always blown away by your beauty but now was a complete different and new feeling. "Thank you." You smile, covering your face with your hands to hide your creeping blush. Why did he so effortlessly have a control on all of your emotions?

    Without thinking, you placed your arms around his neck and pulled him closer to you. It was human nature to do so by now, you couldn't help it. You craved his presence and his body close to yours, even more now since you hadn't spoken to him this past week.

    You were supposed to be putting some space between the two of you, Sua had said that it would be the only way to get him to open up about this feelings. But it was so hard to distance yourself from him, not when he was holding you so softly and looking at you as if you held the world.

    "Shana, please don't go." He mumbles, bringing you closer to him by circling his arms around your waist. He looks into your eyes once again, his eyes so hopeful. He was hoping for you to say yes and for you both to spend the evening together instead.

    It was so easy to melt into his touch but you couldn't stop your mind from racing. There was still underlying conflict between the two of you which you hadn't dealt with. There was no communication from either side. "There's still issues between us." You gulp, not wanting to admit it but it was the truth. You had to address it one way or the other.

    He nods, pressing his body against yours as he spoke. "I know baby." He acknowledges in the softest voice ever. You went crazy at that damn pet name. For fuck sake. You melted into him fully, it was so hard not to. You hadn't quite realised how much you had missed him.

    "But I just don't think I'll be able to cope if you go on a date with another guy." He admits, gulping as he realises that he shouldn't be feeling this way. He shouldn't care as much as he does. But the thought of you going on a date with any other guy killed him in ways that he couldn't quite understand.

    You bite the inside of your cheek to try and prevent yourself from asking him to the dance instead. He had to do that, not you. He was the one who had come all this way.

    You wouldn't be convinced until he asks you go to the dance but you were doubting if that would really happen.

    Jaemin wasn't a verbal confession type of guy, you had learned that very quickly within the first few weeks of getting to know him. He was more about gestures and physical actions. You were more verbal about your feelings, so it was rare to see him being so open with you about these types of matters although you didn't mind and wouldn't complain.

    "I'll take you on a date instead. Or we can go to that annoying dance if it means that you'll go with me and not him." He tries to convince you, placing a brief kiss on your lips. You smile against his lips, kissing him back immediately.

    You couldn't believe how much you had missed the feeling of his lips against yours. They were sanctuary to you, like a safe haven. Constantly leaving you feeling joyful, warm, and comfortable.

    "Really?" You break the kiss to question, feeling as if this was too good to be true but when he nods immediately, it all felt so real. This was the reality, this was the truth.

    You rose an eyebrow at how he was actually offering to take you on a date. He was the same one who made you promise that there would be no romance between the two of you. You strictly remember him saying "no dates" and look at him now... Who knew he would be the first one to crack? Even if it took a few pushes from you and Sua's menacing plan.

    "Of course I'll go with you." You said with no doubt present. He was the one you wanted to be with. You giggle, pulling him even closer to you, attaching your lips to his once again. You revelled in the way you could feel his smile against your lips.

    "So you saying you're jealous? hm?" You tease, you found this absolutely hilarious. He shot you one of the most sheepish, boyish smiles which made your heart yearn. Normally his smiles were cocky and confident.

    "Yes." He simply answers with no shame, not bothering to give some long winded excuse. He was being honest and upfront. Normally he always denied being jealous, especially whenever he saw you and Yeonjun speaking together. But he was totally jealous, he would glare at Yeonjun and be so cold even though you had made it clear that you would never like Yeonjun the way you liked Jaemin.

    He wasn't sure why he got so jealous in this particular situation because at the end of the day you would always be his and he would always by yours. It was just the way things were even if you weren't speaking. You would always come back home to him even if you go on dates with other guys.

    "You're my girl no matter what."

    You look at him in surprise, your eyes meeting and nobody spoke for a while. Your gaze falters as he looks at you so strongly. His dark eyes look right into your soul, so piercing that it made you feel weak to your knees.

    Then in no time your mouths met, your tongues met, your souls met and the fire inside your heart ignited as soon as he kissed you back.

    You tasted the sweetness of his lips, they met yours in a soft and gentle caress. Just the mere touch from his lips awakened your heart to him, making you feel so much passion and fantasy.

    You became intoxicated by his lips, feeling the hunger of your heart and. Your bodies were pressed tightly together, arms entwined and you never want to let go. didn't want to stop this sweet embrace.

    You longed and cherished Na Jaemin with every ounce of of your existence. You became intoxicated by his lips. Your heart burned with hunger, you never wanted to stop, kissing him was easier than breathing.

    You kissed as if it would be the last time. Kissing him felt like you had finally gotten what you had longed for after an eternity of waiting.

    Little did you know that it was the last time.

    ✩☆★

    You feel happy. That was the best way to describe it. You felt as though you couldn't possibly feel sadness anymore and it was all because of the boy who had a hold your heart.

    You were probably kissing him every second. You felt an elevation and joy so high you felt as though you could never come down. You adored him so much, you would always be blessed to have him in your life as he entered it when you needed it. He placed a mark so distinct. He was so special and dear to you.

    You felt as happy as you did on the wedding night. That was a level of happiness you never thought you'd reach again but who better to share it with than him. He was the cause of your happiness on that night and was the cause of it now.

    You remember dancing with him, you remember speaking to him for what felt like hours, you remember kissing him, you remember fucking him against the bar countertop. His existence graced you in the most perfect of times. He was refreshing, a piece of new, reviving air to replace old, toxic waste.

    It was so easy to forget about all the shit that had happened recently as you danced with him, all the stress and the pain came to an abrupt end. But was it temporary? Was it permanent?

    You couldn't help but ignore that lingering question as he brings you closer to him, it became second nature to stop over thinking the second you were in his arms

    "You're everything to me." You whisper to him, you weren't sure if he had even heard your voice under the loud music and neon lights but you realise he had when he smiles and kisses you softly. "You're more than everything to me."

    This was becoming such a common occurrence between the two of you. Sometimes you felt so grateful for him and your sappy side took over, you would always tell him how much he meant to you, how he was your everything, how he had saved you and how much you cared for him.

    He would always kiss you in response and say that you meant more to him, that you were more than his everything, that he cared more for you and that you were the one that had saved him instead of the other way around.

    You let yourself believe that things were developing very nicely between the two of you and you were satisfied. You were with content with everything in your life, specifically how your relationship with Jaemin had blossomed.

    He had literally called you his girl, his everything, the one who had saved him, the one who made him feel alive again. Surely that meant that this was more than purely sex to him too. It had to be. There was no other choice.

    "You said you hate the college dances but you don't look like you hate them." You mumble, looking up at him and seeing him wear the prettiest smile you had ever seen. His lights twinkle as he responds. "That's because I'm here with you, I still hate these dances."

    "Why" You question this time.

    He shakes his head immediately, smiling as he answers. "It doesn't matter."

    You frown, you thought it would be a silly reason but the way he had just replied makes you think that it was much bigger.

    You had recently come to realise that he really hated these dances. At first you thought he had just said that as an excuse of getting out of going to them.

    Although he seemed more than happy to take you instead of Yeonjun taking you, he was incredibly moody the second you both walked into the hall, hand in hand.

    He kept trying to convince you that you could go someplace else and have even more fun. He only agreed to dance with you when you had threatened that you'd ask Yeonjun instead.

    So that's how you were here now, dancing to the slow music. His hands came around your waist and you threw yours over his shoulder, holding him close and paying more attention to him than you ever had to anything else.

    You catch Winter's gaze from a few miles away, she was dancing with Sunwoo but she couldn't seem to get her eyes off from Jaemin. You felt uneasy with the way she was looking at him whilst he was dancing with you, there was so much annoyance in her gaze yet you could see traces of sadness. Was she jealous?

    You were forced to ignore that thought as Jaemin spoke up. "Do you know what I was doing just before I came over to your house and asked you out?" He questions and you shake your head.

    You had no clue what he was gonna tell you. But the way he smirks gives you an idea. "Well coming over and asking you out myself was an impulsive decision... so I was taking all these types of photos ready to send to you whilst you spent the night with Yeonjun."

    "Photos of what?"

    "Dick pics, pictures of my boxers and ab pics, baby." He says proudly with a grin that you wanted to wipe off of his mouth. "I was so ready to send you them throughout the night. I took like 10 and I was gonna send a new one every hour."

    "So you weren't gonna go with Heejin?" You ask him, chewing on your bottom lip as you look up at him nervously. You remember when you told him to ask Heejin instead, for the next week you constantly worried over that. You didn't mean it. You would crumble into a mess if he took her.

    "Why the fuck would I wanna take her instead of you?" He shakes his head at you in dissaproval as if you had just said the dumbest thing ever.

    You raise an eyebrow. Was it that crazy to assume that sparks were still there? You couldn't shake the image of them smiling so softly to one another from your head. Perhaps you were delusional but you had no other explanation.

    "Dummy." He refers to you so randomly. He loved calling you that name sometimes but it was a nickname that you weren't too keen on.

    You shake your head, not interested in talking about Heejin or any of the confusing shit any longer. "Can I see them?"

    He looks at you in confusion, not sure that you had changed the subject. "The photos of your dick that you have on your phone. I want you to send me them so when I don't see you I can just look at them and come off and -"

    His eyes glisten, his lips curving up in a smirk. "'Do you wanna see it in real life?"

    You curse under your breathe, you don't answer but when you look up to meet his eyes he knows what the answer is.

    He immediately pulls his hands from your waist and moves it to your own hands, gripping onto it and pulling you towards the entrance of the hall so the two of you could head out.

    You smile for some reason that was beyond you, perhaps being with him made you smile hard. But then your smile falters when you see Yeonjun sitting on the floor, downing the contents of an alcohol bottle down his throat as his gaze stuck on you and Jaemin, looking at the two of you with such sorrow in his eyes.

    But what causes your smile to completely drop is the image of Yangyang, who drinks intensively in a bid to numb himself as his eyes are plastered on Haechan, who's kissing Ryujin ever so sweetly.

    ✩☆★

    You expected Jaemin to strip you from your clothes the second you came home. But he softly kissed you, pulling you on his lap as he decided to start editing a photography project on his computer. This caused you to to roll your eyes, he ate, slept and breathed photography.

    "You're starting to sound like my parents." He laughs in response to you moaning about him being too focused on his projects.

    Your eyes widen, he never spoke about his parents, this was the first time he had even mentioned them. "Why?" You question, desperately wanting him to open up about something in his home life. You had told him about your family, you wanted to hear about his.

    "My parents express so much dissapointment in me for the course I'm studying." He responds. You smile not at what he was saying but because he was speaking about his life. You loved it when Jaemin spoke about personal things, especially because it was rare.

    You hum, waiting for him to expand. "They've told me so many times that photography will get me nowhere." His tone was so apathetic that it made you doubt if their words actually bothered him. "They look down on my course and always compare me to my cousins."

    You frown, he didn't deserve that. No one deserved to be judged for what they loved and studied. Jaemin loved photography so much, it was one of the first things you had learned about him. It was his passion, it was his love. It wasn't right to make fun of something that you knew made someone smile so much.

    "I'm sorry." You frown. Clearly your voice sounded so solemn and down as Jaemin kissed you so sweetly, "You have nothing to be sorry for." He was right but you still felt bad that his parents didn't support his dreams and passions.

    "I was always smart at school, always got top grades and I could easily excel in a harder course like Maths or Science, easily." His confidence really turned you on. He was right and he knew it. You knew it too.

    Jaemin was intelligent as hell. He basically knew everything. It was embarrassing, you were the one who studied Math but there were so many times where Jaemin helped you with some of the work you got. He didn't even study the course.

    Not only was he academically smart but he had so much life smartness too. You'd expect someone as smart academically smart to lack common sense and critical thinking skills. Because someone couldn't be that intelligent? Right? It was nearly impossible for someone to be smart in the two important areas of life.

    But this Na Jaemin. Obviously he was an exception. He was smart in all areas of life, God it turned you on so much. He was able to see beyond the surface level on so many things, he had critical thinking skills and conversations with him were always so interesting. You loved talking to him, you loved learning and hearing from him. He was an incredibly philosophical man.

    It made you even crazier for him. He had all the same views as you, they were always the right views too. He always knew what to say. Conversations with him were incredibly insightful, you loved it. Talking to him was your favorite thing in the world.

    "You know what the funny thing is?" He speaks, drawing you out from your thoughts. "I literally do Medical studies alongside photography, they want me to be a surgeon so bad and I'm literally doing that very course."

    "Then why are they still dissapointed in you? You're doing what they want, right?"

    He nods. He was doing what they wanted. "They don't know I do medical studies." He laughs and you raise an eyebrow. How could they not know? He explained your confusion. "They never asked, they just assume I only do photography."

    "They stopped caring about my education the day I chose photography as my main course. They're not interested anymore, they stopped asking me how I'm finding college and so I never told them I'm doing medical studies."

    You couldn't help but smile at this. You admired him, most people would crumble under parental pressure but he didn't let it get to him, clearly. He was that type of person while you just... weren't. You wished for that to be you. You wished you were as relaxed and chilled as him.

    "I'm sorry Jaemin. That's not fair at all." Is all you say, frowning as you would've never known that his parents wouldn't be supportive. No child deserved unsupportive parents, every child deserved a parent who encouraged them to follow their dreams.

    "How many siblings do you have?" You mutter curiously, he had never told you.

    "None." He responds, clicking away on his mouse as his eyebrows furrowed in concentration. He was currently editing a photo of you for his project, it made you blush as he had called it 'beautiful' around a hundred times.

    You were about to respond to him, to tell him how it made sense that he had no siblings but your phone rings from his bed. You make your way off his lap which causes him to groan, he was just about to offer to swivel the chair around until it reached the bed, he didn't want you to leave his side.

    You widen your eyes as you see who's calling you 'Yeonjun.' On fuck. You had completely forgotten that you were supposed to accompany him to the college dance.

    You tell Jaemin to turn the music down, he ignores you, of course he does. You lay down on his bed, holding your heart in your chest as you answer his call.

    You were quick to greet him but he wasn't having none of that. He expresses dissapointment in you, in how you failed to tell him that you would be going to the dance with Jaemin instead. He couldn't believe that you stood him up.

    "I'm sorry Yeonjun." Is all you could say and you did mean it. You never intended to hurt him, you were just acting in a wreckless and careless way. In all honesty you completely forget that you were supposed to be going with Yeonjun the second you saw Jaemin.

    You gulp, looking at the boy editing away on the computer as Yeonjun asks about him. "Yes? I'm here with him now... I don't know why it matters?" That causes Jaemin to swivel around, raising an eyebrow at you as he asks what's going on and if you're okay.

    But he smirks when you address Yeonjun's name, he puts all the pieces together so suddenly, guessing that Yeonjun wasn't happy about you ditching him about the dance.

    "Woah woah woah -" You cut Yeonjun off as he begins to bad mouth Jaemin. You shake your head, not believing how many times he had tried to chat shit about Jaemin to you. "I told you, stop saying rude things about Jaemin to me or I'll stop being friends with you. It's not nice hearing such mean things about someone you care a lot about. Stop."

    You don't even look at Jaemin as you say this but you can feel his soft gaze on you. He was smiling so wide.

    "You keep saying he's a miserable and rude person as if you aren't chatting shit about him to the girl he's with?" You laugh, your eyes widen as you realise you just referred to yourself as the girl 'he was with.'

    But he just smiles wilder, he obviously didn't care. He was clearly grateful for you defending his name and had a unique way of showing you it. You can feel him smirking in your direction and you don't realise why until his name appears on his phone.

    You nearly come undone when you receive 20 message notifications from Jaemin, your eyes lighten as you eye all the photos he's just sent. He sends the ones he said he had taken earlier. Your mouth waters as you look at his massive cock. You think of all the pretty little things you wanna do with it.

    You don't even realise him make his way over to the bed as you were engaged in a heated discussion with Yeonjun. Jaemin props himself in between your legs, you look at him with your mouth wide as you have no clue what he's doing.

    But when he moves his head down to trail kisses all the way up your body, you knew what he was doing. You pull his hair, stopping his lips from kissing you for a brief second but he was stronger, he can defeat your touch.

    You become a stumbling mess as you speak to Yeonjun, not able to concentrate on what he was saying when Jaemin's lips pressed against your skin in this way. His lips were so exotic, so hot and so fiery.

    When you go on a ramble about why Jaemin was the nicest person you had ever met and not a cruel person like Yeonjun believed, Jaemin's touch on your body becomes so much more sensual and compassionate.

    His soft lips carress your cheeks, when you felt his smile against it you were seriously contemplating hanging up on Yeonjun and shoving Jaemin's heads in between your thighs.

    You laugh nervously as Yeonjun speaks again. You respond with a shaky voice. "No, that's not the sound of Jaemin kissing me... It's my - it's my - um - it's my hamsters." You try to convince him, internally dying with embarrassment when he deliberately kisses you louder, making the loudest 'smooch' sounds with his lips. It caused Renjun to come out of his room and shout at the two of you to shut up, stop having sex and to have a conversation for once.

    Wow... touché.

    Yeonjun hangs up, you sigh in relief as you can finally melt in Jaemin's touch. You grip his hair as he litters kisses all over your face, one on your eyelids, two on the tip of your nose, five on your cheeks and three on your forehead.

    You trace his lips with your fingers, his lips were swollen and red from the amount of times he's kissed you. He hums in content, resting his forehead on yours, smiling softly at you as he nudged your nose against his.

    He let out a breathy demand as you carried on tracing his face with your finger. "Kiss me."

    You automatically threw your arms around his neck at his request, hugging him so tightly before moving your lips passionately on top of his. He cupped your face with his hands, his thumb softly rubbing against your cheek as his lips moved softly with yours.

    The kiss was so wild and breathless, it felt as if it lasted for an eternity. You were sharing each others breaths, your lips meeting in such a blissful encounter. It was a kiss so desperate that the two of you wind around each other, refusing to let go until you were finished.

    It was such a deep kiss, it was like you could feel the depth of his soul. Your hands tangled in his hair, a bid to pull him closer. lips. God, how could this kiss be so passionate, so perfect. Your eyes were closed in bliss, his lips were causing you to escape into alternate realities.

    But then he pulls away way too soon for your liking. You pout, your lips red and swollen as you just wanted to be kissed by him. He pecks you once as he gets a small box from the pockets of his jacket.

    Your eyes lighten as he opens the box to reveal the prettiest necklace you've ever seen. You look in his eyes, the two of you staring affectionately at one another until he brings the necklace out and clasps it around your neck.

    "I have the matching one." He whispers, caressing your cheek with a kiss as he showed you the one he had. Your heart thud rapidly as you looked at the necklaces side by side, the silver beads glittered in the light and when he opened the clasp to the locket, your heart was caught heavy in your chest as it revealed the initials "J." While his had "S."

    "I got it a few days ago and I've been meaning to give it to you. Every letter but J and S were sold out... so I thought that was telling me something."

    And that's when you kiss him.

    You gently kiss him once. It didn't take long for it to quickly descends into passion. You   refused to let go especially when he repositioned the two of you. You were now sitting on his lap, sitting on him as you passionately kissed.

    Just as you were about to get lost in his lips, you remember Renjun's from earlier. "stop having sex and to have a conversation for once."

    You were still thinking of those words. He was right and you knew it. Things were getting incredibly confusing between you and Jaemin, you weren't sure what your status was and as the days go on, he feels more and more like your boyfriend. To you, the world was in his eyes.

    But it clearly wasn't right to feel this way, you guys weren't officially a couple. This topic has caused you so much stress and overthinking prior but in this moment you felt a surge of confidence. You felt ready.

    You were ready to tell Jaemin how you truly felt about him.

    You detach yourself from his lips, causing him to frown and pout. You ignored that. You take a deep breathe in, looking straight into the eyes of the beautiful boy's lap you were in. Looking into his eyes gave you security, it helped you feel ready to tell him.

    You take a good look at him before speaking up, the image of his bed hair and swollen eyes captured in your mind. You wanted to treasure this moment in case this didn't go the way you wanted it to go. You didn't want to think negatively but it was a possibility. You prayed for it to be a low chance and for him to confess he felt the same.

    You had to take the risk of possibly never being with him again. You had to be prepared if he says that he doesn't feel the same way. You had to be true to yourself. This was more than sex to you and it had been for the longest time.

    You had to tell him how much you had fallen so endlessly and utterly for him.

    "Jaemin, I need to tell you something." You mumble, trying to sound confident but you struggled to. You were nervous as fuck but you had to do this, the time had finally come for this conversation to happen.

    He hums as he waits for you to speak. His expression was so dazed, looking at you in such content and adoration. You hoped that this expression would remain after you say your next words to him.

    "I just need to tell you, I've been meaning to tell you for so fucking long. I've fallen for you, I want more, I want more than friends with benefits with you. Because surely we've become more. Right?" You let out all at once.

    Wow, you physically felt the baggage being lifted from your shoulders. It was such a euphoric and relaxing feeling, you had longed for this moment and specific feeling for so long.

    The moment had finally come. This must've been the building of emotions and feelings from the last month finally released. You no longer felt trapped by a cage, your feelings no longer suffocated you as they were out in the open.

    You were proud of yourself. You stayed honest to yourself and did what needed to be done. You could almost feel Sua being proud of you if she had known that you had finally confessed. You can almost feel Yangyang sheer keenness and joy for you.

    But it was clear that Jaemin wouldn't share the same enthusiasm as them. It was clear that he didn't. You felt your heart shatter into a million pieces as he looks at you so coldly, as if you were so pathetic for possibly admitting that.

    He was a complete different person to what he was seconds ago. You get whiplash at how quickly he can change his persona, his eyes went from soft to completely blackening , peering into yours in disbelief.

    His voice is low and expressionless as he speaks.

    "Shana. We have to end this now."

    ---

    tag list - @aedreamzy @wanlore​ @rixcity @xuzixushi ​ @4njm @hunsbaekie  @octoberbby ​ @mangozcat ​ @amaryduh @ashkuuuu @neocitytrashh @indiana452 ​​

    #jaemin angst#jaemin fanfic#jaemin fluff#jaemin smut#kpop fic#na jaemin #na jaemin smut #nct 00 line #nct au#nct fluff#jaemin scenarios#jaemin #na jaemin angst #nct dream angst #nct dream smut #nct dream fluff #nct dream#nct drabbles #nct college au #nct fanfic #nct x y/n #nct x reader #nct smut#nct jaemin #nct na jaemin #nct collage au
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  • 0097linersb
    25.01.2022 - 1 day ago

    PINK LEMONADE

    CHAPTER 5

    Pairings: Jaemin x Renjun x Haechan x Jeno x Mark x Reader

    Genre: Smut, Fluff, Humor (I guess)

    Summary: The dreamies decide to spend some weeks at an Inn in the middle of the nature to relax and enjoy some outdoor adventures, far away from their crazy idol life. What they didn’t expect was the nice girl running said Inn.

    Word count: 4.4k

    A/N: Well this took way  too long for how embarrasingly bad it was, but I have a lot of cool stuff planed. Also, I’m alway open to ideas and to listening what u guys want to see happening in the story so send as many asks as you want <3

    Just a reminder that I no longer habe a tag list for this story !

    ☼  previous / next  ☼

    You were scared that Jeno was mad at you and would kick you out or something. He did go to sleep without you after all (and he did seem kind of angry). So you carefully sat next to him on the edge of the bed and he took his earphone out, looking at you confusedly.

    “Hey,” He offered softly after a minute when you remained silent. “Hey,” You replied nervously before going quiet once again. “So… you’re in my room,” He hit you with the same line you used on him the other day. “I guess I am.” “Is there something you need?” “Huh, I don’t know.” “Want to sleep here?” “Yes, please.” He let out a laugh at that, his eyes disappearing as he pulled the covers up so you could get under them. “You’re cute,” he said. “Didn’t know that side of you yet.” “Oh, do I have sides now?” You asked as you made yourself comfortable in your usual position, both of you on your sides and looking at each other. Relief washed down your body when you noticed he wasn’t treating you any differently like you expected. “I’m still learning, but yes.” “Care to share?” “Maybe some other time, don’t want to get your ego to explode.” “I’m not conceited, I’m realistic.” “Now I get why Haechan is infatuated by you.” “Aren’t you?” You pouted jokingly. “I guess you’re nice to look at.” “Ouch.” “Are you feeling any warmer?” “Yes, actually. I feel like Bella and Jacob in that one scene, your body is weirdly hot.” “Thank you,” He teased. “I didn’t mean it like that but since both are actually true, I won’t even bother correcting you.” “So I’m hot, huh?” “Your words, not mine.” “I’ll take it. I had you moaning my name, it’s enough for me.” For some reason that simple statement had blood rushing down your core as memories from the night you went camping flashed in your head. Plus, this sudden confidence really fitted Jeno. “Someone did say they would fuck me properly eventually,” You rolled your eyes, kind of hoping you would be moaning his name again soon. “Go have Jaemin do it.” Oh. So he was jealous. “I came to your bed, didn’t I?” “Well, you certainly will later,” He joked, hands traveling down your back. “Damn, where did this come from?” “Too much?” “No, keep going. It’s kind of hot.” He laughed at you, his eyes turning into the little moon crescents you learned to adore in such a short period of time. The two of you fell silent and you took advantage that he got lost in his thoughts to quietly stare at him as you felt his fingers lightly tracing shapes on your skin; how could a man be so handsome? Every inch of his body was shaped perfectly and being around him just drove you crazy. He just exuded manly energy, like he could take care of you (daddy issues much?). The muscles on his arm were tensed and as you looked at it, you just wanted him to throw you around. You came in here just for the company and to make sure he was not upset at you, maybe talk a bit until both of you fell asleep, but after just about 5 minutes, the rational part of your brain was drowned in desire. Who cares if you were just telling Jaemin you had a crush on him? At that moment, watching Jeno’s messy hair falling down his perfect face, surely not you. “What are you thinking about?” He asked, surprising you out of your own trance now. “Oh- Nothing.” “You sure? You were staring me down pretty hard,” He teased. “Since when did you get so cocky?” You scoffed, lightly pushing at his chest. “Since I got a pretty girl in my bed.” “And yet you’re still doing nothing about it.” “I was trying to be a gentleman but since you’re not really into that, guess we can get straight into it,” He scoffed jokingly. “Not in the mood for courtesy right now,” You informed and before he could reply, you pulled him in for a kiss. Damn, have you ever been this needy? Your insides exploded in joy as you felt his hand on your waist, pulling your body against his as he reciprocated the kiss hungrily, tongue quick to meet yours. A moan escaped your lips when Jeno grabbed your ass and ground it against his hardening bulge, he groaned at the sound and pushed you so you would have your back against the mattress, simple animalistic hunger coming over him. You found out in no time that you really liked having Jeno on top of you, especially when he kept grinding his hips against your chore like this. In almost no time, you whined, trying to signal you couldn’t take it anymore, breaking the kiss to take his shirt off and accidentally stopping to admire his body like you were hypnotized, chest heaving up and down. “It’s annoying how hot you are.” Hot and in that moment, all yours. He chuckled at that before bending down and trailing kisses down your neck and you squirmed, overwhelmed at the feeling of his burning bare skin touching your arms and his wet lips on your veins. You grabbed Jeno’s hair and whined at him to do something and you felt his cock twitch against your chore at that – It was nice knowing you had the same effect on him that he had on you. It was really unexplainable what took over you when you were around that man, maybe it was his pheromones or something along those lines, maybe nature judged you two would have a really strong and healthy offspring, doing its best to force you to reproduce and continue the species. He broke the kiss once again and pulled your shirt off in one swift motion, like he had years and years of practice. His pupils blew wide when he saw you were wearing no bra - the last time you two found each other in this situation it was quite dark for him to truly admire you, but right now, he found himself awestruck. “Fuck,” He groaned, eyes stuck to your body like you were the most important piece of art ever discovered. "Jeno!” You whined once again, your body heated up at the attention but you were way too desperate to truly appreciate it. “Give me a sec,” He asked (but not really), tracing his fingers down your collarbone to one of your boobs and watching you attentively, circling your nipple before teasing it. Your body arched of the bed automatically, another whine leaving your lips and Jeno ground his cock against your thigh without even realizing, the prettiest sound coming out of his mouth. “Lee Jeno, I swear to god-“ “Yeah, gotchu,” He nodded, his voice raspy, too worked up himself to prolong this. He was quick to pull your shorts and panties down your body and you harshly grabbed his hair to pull him for a kiss before he could get stuck again staring at the sight of your chore. He noticed what you did and whined against your lips but accepted it, tongue confident against yours as his fingers traced down your abdomen to your slit. You felt his middle finger lightly rub around your entrance and you bit his lip to hold the loud moan that wanted to escape you at the same time he let out one when noticing how wet you were. Once his finger was fully coated, he pushed it inside of you, lips leaving yours to kiss and bite around your neck before he added another finger, the feeling forcing you to bite the back of your hand so you wouldn’t be loud (er). Jeno kissed your nipples while his skillful fingers glided against your walls in a speed way too perfect for someone as inexperienced as him – This man was really going to drive you crazy. You felt his kisses getting lower down your body and realized what he wanted to do, the sight of his head so close to your chore as he looked up at you, black hair falling over his eyes, swallowing your every reaction, was enough to almost push you over the edge. Again, too much. You grabbed his hair for the nth time and pulled him up, noticing the disappointed look on his face at not being able to taste you, “Some other time, I just really need your dick inside of me right now.” Jeno had never felt as happy before as when he heard those words. He took his shorts and boxers off like he had been expecting this moment for years, his cock slapping against his stomach and your mouth watered at the sight, you had never seen a dick that attractive before, all swollen and thick. Maybe you were just really needy. “Shit, I don’t have a condom,” He cursed, his hand wrapped around the base of his member, stopping himself mid-action. You supported yourself on your elbows to be able to look at him clearly. “I’m clean,” You informed, too desperate to really care at the moment. “Me too.” “Then I really hope your pull-out game is strong,” You let your body fall back once again, opening your legs for him. “I’ll do my best,” He agreed but honestly, your walls were pulsing around nothing almost hysterically, at that moment you would love if he came inside of you. “Can I?” In response, you wrapped your legs around his hips and pulled him closer. Jeno got the message and positioned himself above you and carefully pushed his tip against your entrance, groaning and throwing his head back when your walls squeezed around it and sucked more of him in. He was doing his best to take it slow to not hurt you, but you were really trying him, the only thing on his mind was how he wanted to fuck you senseless. He gave a few shallow thrusts, letting himself go deeper each time, completely euphoric at the sounds you were letting out and wanting to hear more of them. His hand grabbed yours and pulled it away from your mouth, pinning it above your head. Your walls squeezed around him at the action, extremely attracted to his confidence and naturality, a moan free in the air now that you couldn’t hold back. Soon enough he had already bottomed out inside you and you could swear his cock was specifically made for you, never having felt this good before. “So tight,” He groaned, sliding in and out of you rhythmically at just the right angle. “You’re just big,” You whined, pulling him in for a kiss. Later on, you would feel bad for the number of scratches you left down his back but he didn’t really mind, he actually enjoyed it a lot. You felt your high building up in record time, Jeno’s hand harsh around your right wrist and you hoped It left a bruise. He noticed by the way your moans against his mouth got higher and more frequent, that you were getting close and broke the kiss, easily flipping you over, “Get on all fours.” Shivers ran down your body at that, quick to obey, something close to a scream ripping out of you when he pushed himself inside of you again with no care this time. You have been waiting for this moment since you first laid eyes on that man and it was everything you had ever dreamed of and even better. You had been kind of expecting to have to instruct Jeno around a bit, but when you felt him pulling on your hair so you would get on your knees, back flush against his chest and arm snaking around your body so he could rub circles against your clit while he thrust up into you, you had realized his instincts guided him the right ways. “Jeno, fuck-“ You raised your arms behind you so you could grab onto his hair for some sort of support, feeling Jeno biting into your shoulder to stop himself from cumming, wanting this to last as long as possible. “You feel so good, I have fantasized about this for so long. You have no idea how many times I jacked off in the shower thinking about you since I got here” He groaned next to your ear and you moaned louder at his words, completely forgetting your house’s really thin walls. “I’m close.” “Me too.” The feeling of his cock sliding in and out of you, his swollen veins dragging against your sensitive walls, his hand grabbing your boob harshly while the other one was busy, the pad of his middle finger drawing fast eights on your clit and his groans had your body weak, begging for god knows what as you felt like you were ready to explode any second now. You bit down on your lip hard enough to draw blood to keep your scream in when you finally felt your whole body shake with your orgasm, your vision going blank as Jeno worked you through your high. Your walls squeezing around him as you came was enough to make him see stars and he cursed so much you honestly thought he would have no control to pull out, almost whining that he could cum inside if he wanted to, but before you managed to let anything out with your broken voice, you were back on the bed and empty once again. “Turn around,” He breathed out and you quickly understood what he wanted, positioning yourself so your face was close to his knees. You watched in awe as he fisted his cock, suddenly forgetting your over-sensitivity and ready for another round solely because of the look on his face. It didn’t take long for him to curse and grab your hair harshly as he came on your awaiting tongue. You admired him catching his breath as you contently swallowed, Jeno moaning weakly at the sight. “You’re going to be the death of me,” He breathed out before throwing himself on the bed next to you. “I think I transcended for a moment.” “You didn’t let me eat you out,” Jeno complained and it was embarrassing that your chore pulsed at that after just getting the fuck of your life. “I was too worked up for that.” “Well, then I hope you’re better now.” You looked at him confusedly, brain too fogged to process his movements next to you until he was literally in between your legs. He shushed all your whines and complaints, saying he would take it slow and just wanted to have some fun before lazily eating you out for what felt like hours of heaven. There was no rush, his fingers slowly and softly playing inside of you as his mouth did wonders, you just closed your eyes and enjoyed as he was making you feel like you were orgasming the whole time, and when you actually did, it felt even more intense than the first time. -------------------------------- In the morning, after staring at Jeno’s sleeping form for a long time, you finally decided to be responsible and drag your ass out of bed to work. You weren’t really happy about it, Jeno’s face looked so peaceful and the soft light of the sunrise looked so pretty against his skin, messy hair looking more beautiful than ever. You sounded like a fool in love, but looking at the man in front of you, you knew it was impossible not to. Thankfully, no one was awake yet and you calmly prepared breakfast. When someone finally woke up, it was Haechan, and if Haechan out of all people didn’t tease you, it meant no one heard you and Jeno the night before. You were in a good mood so it was easy to forget about the whole Haechan incident during your shower, playing around with him until Renjun and Mark got up too. Jisung and Chenle eventually came downstairs too, excitedly rambling about how they could make a slide down the hill that fell into the lake, getting even more excited when you told them you used to do that a lot when you were a child and that it was definitely possible. In no time, Jaemin , Mark and you got busy trying to make the youngest boys happy. Thankfully, it was easy to find the meters and meters of plastic tarp your father had stored from all those years ago, pinning the edges of it on the grass floor with metal stakes. It took almost 2 good hours to cover the path all the way from the top of the hill to the lake, but it was worth it to see the smiles on Jisung’s and Chenle’s faces, even if you probably got your skin burnt and sweat some kilos off. Jeno and Haechan were cooking lunch while the three of you worked outside and when you were done, food was already set on the table and your stomach roared at the sight. It took a lot of self-control to not plant a thankful kiss on Jeno’s lips right then and there.   You did feel a little bit bad when you first saw Jaemin’s smiling face in the morning, but you quickly got over it, it’s not like any of you had anything or owed each other something and you just couldn’t help it. But every time he stopped you from hammering your fingers, you remember you actually did like him, heart doing laps in joy at his closeness. Mark didn’t seem to notice or mind the two of you behaving like school kids having a crush the whole morning, but you reminded yourself Mark was a bit dense to romantic stuff. You still found him staring at you quite often, blushing when you caught him. You had thought you were past that. After you were all fed and lazy, you washed the dishes and pushed away anyone that tried helping, they were paying guests and had already done way too much. Jisung and Chenle were too excited to take a nap (or let anyone for that matter), but it was way too hot outside to stay under the sun, so you all gathered in your room and enjoyed the AC, Jeno looking way too comfortable and familiar in your bed. Haechan had pulled you to cuddle with him and you looked up at Jaemin and Jeno but none of them seemed to mind and you finally accepted you were the only one overthinking things, they were famous popstars after all and would be coming home in no time, never seeing you again, of course they just wanted to enjoy their time the best they could. That realization finally got your mind at ease and the weight off your shoulders. The eight of you spent an hour chatting and you were seriously worried that your bed wouldn’t take the weight of all of you and as expected, one by one the boys started drifting off, all huddled together and it was so cute you had to take a picture, Haechan’s amused eyes watching you. Since the two of you were the only ones left awake, safe by Chenle who was too busy playing on his phone, you ended up talking for another hour. Haechan was a tease even when having a simple conversation, and you didn’t even mean that he was flirting with you again, even when talking about mundane subjects he had a glint of mischief behind his eyes that mirrored your own and you loved the back and fort jokes between you. You also surprisingly loved the feeling of your head on his chest and his arm wrapped around your shoulder. What a whore. Like a human alarm, Jisung woke up startled exactly an hour after falling asleep and his non-delicate movements woke up the rest around him. You kicked everyone out of your room so you could brush your teeth and change into your bikinis before meeting them outside, detergent and hose in hand. To be honest, you were almost as excited as Jisung, who was vibrating in joy as he watched the water run down the slide. Of course everyone let the young duo go first, and after sitting down and screaming excitedly until their bodies hit the water, games were on. They were men after all, and men were known for doing life-endangering things for no reason, you didn’t say a word when they started innovating the sliding poses. Jaemin first slid down his stomach, Jeno followed by running and jumping on his back upside down, Haechan received loud cheers when he appeared with a big plastic that was probably the lid of something, getting on top of it and surfing down the slide, almost cracking his head open in the process. You found one of those multi-person round floats and Mark dragged you along with them to go down on it, screams leaving your mouth at the fast-spinning float sliding down the tarp. Every day that passed, you genuinely thought you couldn’t possibly have more fun with the guy and were constantly proven wrong. After a while, you were all soaked, slippery and exhausted from climbing the high hill multiple times, you could swear some of the boys’ abs were even more toned after it. You all splashed around in the lake for a while, Jaemin and you simply floating next to each other to rest for a bit as Mark tried drowning Haechan in revenge for something you didn’t bother finding out. Renjun went up to shower first and when he was done, Chenle followed him. When it was getting darker and getting chilly outside, you decided to go shower too and invited Jaemin to join you. It was a really innocent invitation, only worried about them having to wait longer in the cold, you would have invited anyone, Jaemin just happened to be closer to you at that moment. You watched as surprise flashed in his eyes before he noticed by the unknowing look on your face that your invitation didn’t imply anything besides sharing the warm shower. The man smiled at you in gratitude before following you to the second floor, locking the bathroom door behind himself. When he finally joined you, you had already regulated the water temperature to your liking and laughed when Jaemin hissed at it. “Are you for real?” He asked, quickly shaking his hand as he had burnt it. “Is it too hot for you?” “Unless you’re boiling something!” “Men are so weak,” You rolled your eyes from under the shower before turning the water register so it would be colder. “Is it to your liking now?” “I could argue it’s still too hot,” He answered after putting his hand next to you to feel the temperature. “Your brain is broken,” You whined, regulating the water once again. You felt the water running ice cold down your skin and shivered, moaning in complaint at the feeling you didn’t enjoy. Once you got over the shock and opened your eyes, Jaemin was staring at you as you had just revealed to him where people go after they’re dead. You followed your eyes down and noticed he was looking at your hardened nipples through your bikini top, a strong throb hitting you in between your legs. Not again. Jaemin had been nothing but a gentleman until now, so when the tip of his finger traced the goosebump down your abdomen, you gasped in surprise. The boy didn’t seem to notice your sound, eyes following his fingers like he was in a trance as he lightly ran his fingers back up, rubbing them against your sensitive nipples. Your whole body shivered and that finally brought him back to reality, his eyes wide as he apologized. You smiled and assured him it was fine, even though it was not fine because now you were feeling slick pool inside your panties. You turned around to get the shampoo and give Jaemin some time off, accidentally brushing your hip against him in the process, completely freezing your motion at the deep groan he let out. You slowly turned around with your mouth opened in surprise, noticing he was hard in his swimming trunks. He got hard from the sight of you alone and before you could process it, you pulled him in for a kiss. The two of you passionately made out for a good while but things didn’t escalate any further, for some reason it felt right to just take things slower and when you finally separated to catch your breaths, you giggled while staring at each other. He did let you higher the water temperature and you had the time of your life, soaping up his back and enjoying his fingers massaging the shampoo on your scalp. You had really missed the intimacy of showering with someone and you loved feeling Jaemin’s glistening tan skin under your fingertips. The two of you shared slow kisses and lazy laughs until you were both clean and your conscience got heavy because of the rest waiting outside to shower. After dinner, you played some cards and planned on what you would do tomorrow but the night didn’t go very far, everyone was too tired from the day’s activities and agreed on sleeping early so you could have a mini-party tomorrow. You were pleasantly surprised to find Renjun sitting outside again after everyone had gone to bed, he smiled at you and you were glad that he was happy to see you there on the balcony too. You spent another night sharing some wine and talking about books, music, art, and cultures until your eyes were practically closing on his own. You dragged yourself straight to Jeno’s room, not even bothering pretending like you wanted to sleep in your empty room anymore. He was already asleep but woke up to pull you closer when he felt you in his bed, chest against your back, and his warmness lulled you to sleep.

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  • neochan
    25.01.2022 - 2 days ago

    12:29am

    Jaemin was on his way out the door, he was fed up with the fussing and fighting and waiting for you to admit to him that you still loved him despite having a new boyfriend. He was moving his way towards the door until he heard you speak. “I want you to kiss me…” you whispered softly tugging at the boys sleeve to get his attention. “I’m asking you to kiss me.. and i don’t want you to stop until we’re out of breath…” you sighed softly looking up at him, your eyes meeting his honey brown ones, “and then i want you to kiss me more..” with the words that fell from your lips he closed the gap between the two of you his lips against yours as his hand’s clumsily wrapped around your waist. That was it, you were breathless and just like you asked, he kissed you again.

    #.aly #nct#nct dream #nct 00 line #jaemin #na jaemin scenario #nct smut #nct 00 line smut #nct dream jaemin
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  • lilacboba
    25.01.2022 - 2 days ago

    Since We Met - NCT

    Masterlist and Preface

    𝑺𝒚𝒏𝒐𝒑𝒔𝒊𝒔 : 𝑾𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒘𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒑𝒆𝒏 𝒘𝒉𝒆𝒏 𝒂 𝒔𝒂𝒕𝒚𝒓𝒊𝒄 𝒄𝒐𝒍𝒍𝒆𝒈𝒆 𝒔𝒕𝒖𝒅𝒆𝒏𝒕 𝒇𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒔 𝒊𝒏𝒕𝒐 𝒂 𝒅𝒊𝒍𝒆𝒎𝒎𝒂 𝒐𝒇 𝒄𝒉𝒐𝒐𝒔𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒃𝒆𝒕𝒘𝒆𝒆𝒏 𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒇𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒅𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒑𝒔, 𝒓𝒆𝒍𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒑𝒔 𝒐𝒓 𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒑𝒓𝒐𝒇𝒆𝒔𝒔𝒊𝒐𝒏?

    Chapter 1 - Baby Boys ;)

    Chapter 2 -

    Chapter 3 -

    Chapter 4 -

    Chapter 5 -

    More to come ( ◜‿◝ )♡

    Extras : Instagram accounts

    Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

    Hello everyone who's decided to give this fic a chance ^^ Thanks for reading. This definitely won't be the most perfect fic because I am extremely busy with... Life. This isn't a smau because it's going to have text parts in it. I haven't planned anything past 5 chapters, this was literally a spontaneous idea from a dream and i am hopeless when it comes to updates. But I will try and end this fic under 15/20 chapters. Please remember, none of this is real and is fiction. Some characters are going to be portrayed as major assholes but that is not a real reflection of their characters. Again, this is FICTION.

    Hope you guys like this trainwreck and thanks for reading again ^‿^ ♡

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  • lilacboba
    25.01.2022 - 2 days ago

    Since We Met - NCT

    Pairing : NCT x Reader, ft. Ryujin of Itzy
    Disclaimer : This writing is a fictional piece made for entertainment purposes only and is not a reflection of real life/reality.
    Warnings : reader kinda flirty, nothing else rn lol ;)
    Word count : 402 words (dw there's gonna be more next chapter don't worry ;)

    𝑺𝒚𝒏𝒐𝒑𝒔𝒊𝒔 : 𝑾𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒘𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒑𝒆𝒏 𝒘𝒉𝒆𝒏 𝒂 𝒔𝒂𝒕𝒚𝒓𝒊𝒄 𝒄𝒐𝒍𝒍𝒆𝒈𝒆 𝒔𝒕𝒖𝒅𝒆𝒏𝒕 𝒇𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒔 𝒊𝒏𝒕𝒐 𝒂 𝒅𝒊𝒍𝒆𝒎𝒎𝒂 𝒐𝒇 𝒄𝒉𝒐𝒐𝒔𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒃𝒆𝒕𝒘𝒆𝒆𝒏 𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒇𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒅𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒑𝒔, 𝒓𝒆𝒍𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒑𝒔 𝒐𝒓 𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒑𝒓𝒐𝒇𝒆𝒔𝒔𝒊𝒐𝒏?

    Masterlist | Next Chapter

    Chapter 1 : Baby Boys ;)

    You walked the halway to your dorm, sipping the milkshake in your hand. Much to your friends' horror (primarily donghyuck's,) coffee was never your thing. You ring the doorbell to your apartment you share with Hendery and Yangyang. Even though your apartment was off campus it still felt like your entire University lived in this building.

    Staying off campus was one of the best decisions you made, the ultimate one was moving to Korea. Too much baggage at your hometown. You ring the doorbell once, seeing a shirtless Hendery smiling at you, making you groan. "ugh Guanheng, either put a shirt on or take your sweatpants off," you say playfully rolling your eyes.

    He just laughs, used to your flirty habbits. You hand him your leftover milkshake which he happily excepts. You walk over to Yangyang's room and knock on the door. When you hear no response, you fling the door open and see a very sleepy Yangyang cocooned in his comforter.

    Keeping your bag at the foot of his bed, you pull his blanket up and scoot yourself near his back which causes him to turn around with a sigh. He wraps his arm around you and you lay your head on his chest.

    "Hi" he says, voice still raspy. "Good Morning Sheep Boy, it's almost noon but anyways." He groans and burries his face in your hair causing you to whine. "Donnnnt I woke up early to style my curls today," you cry out Hendery's name when Yangyang burries his face further in your hair just to piss you off.

    Suddenly there's a plop on the bed and you see Hendery also try to scoot his way up between Yangyang and You. You lift the blanket up so he can get in. He lays his head on your stomach and Yangyang now starts to mess with Hendery's hair as you three lay there in silence for a while.

    "Hey _____, do you have to tell us something?" Hendery says looking up at you confused. You sit up and look at him, mirroring the same confused expression trying to remember ultimately checking your phone. You mouth falls in an 'o' shape when you realise you three were supposed to go out with your friends in like 10 minutes.

    You all hastily get up and get ready, trying to make it in time, so you can spare yourself from Renjun's 'being on time speech.'

    Author's note : 𝑻𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒘𝒂𝒔 𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒚 𝒔𝒑𝒐𝒏𝒕𝒂𝒏𝒆𝒐𝒖𝒔 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝑰 𝒉𝒐𝒑𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒈𝒖𝒚𝒔 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆𝒅 𝒊𝒕, 𝒑𝒍𝒆𝒂𝒔𝒆 𝒓𝒆𝒃𝒍𝒐𝒈 ( ◜‿◝ )♡

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  • fullsunluvr
    25.01.2022 - 2 days ago

    📁 — WORKS iN PROGRESS (in no specific order)

    bad, sad & mad (l.hc) — parts 3 and 4

    venom jeno and mad scientist jaemin

    alpha chenle and his maid

    priest kun

    no. 1 fan (l.hc, n.yt, z.cl) — rockstar au

    UNDECiDED

    cnc with dream’s 00 line

    ok! (l.jn) — fwb au

    #possible wip !! #bs&m !! #venom jeno !! #mad scientist bunny !! #alpha chenle !! #priest kun !! #nct smut #nct dream smut #nct 127 smut #wayv smut#haechan smut#jeno smut#jaemin smut#yuta smut#kun smut#chenle smut
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  • dollyji
    25.01.2022 - 2 days ago
    #hard hours ♡ #nahyuck fucker my beloved ♡ #nct smut #nct dream smut #jaemin smut#haechan smut
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  • ocean-ai
    25.01.2022 - 2 days ago

    Dreams Come True~ Jaemin

    So, I’m pretty much stuck in NCITY right now, so there’s going to be a few updates for them coming up lol. This was a lot of fun to write and I hope you enjoy it too!! 

    Pairings: Jaemin X Female Reader

    Genre: S M U T

    Word Count: 4,005

    Warnings: Oral (male and female receiving), awkward conversation?? (does that count), semi rough sex

    (Starts off spicy)

    “Jaemin!” You screamed as your handsome roommate thrust deep inside you; his hands on your hips and he was on his knees while your legs were wrapped around his slim waist. 

    His toned body was glistening with sweat, tan skin glowing under your dim lights. His hips were drilling into you at an ungodly pace and you couldn’t get enough. The way he filled you up had your head spinning and you knew that you’d come undone at any given moment. 

    His tight grip on your hips was most likely going to leave bruises, but you didn’t care; you liked having a reminder. You had a feeling that Jaemin was good in bed, but you didn’t think he’d be this good. You would sometimes hear when he would bring other women back and how loud they were. How could you have waited so long for this? 

    His hips were starting to lose their pace as you tightened around his length. He groaned before he picked up his pace again. With each thrust into you, you were getting closer and closer to your high. “Fuck, Jaemin!!” His name rolled off your tongue like it was the only thing you knew how to say. 

    “Come on baby, I know you’re close.” He said before he removed one of his hands so that he could rub your clit in harsh circles. 

    It didn’t take long before you were coming apart underneath him and your orgasm hit you at full speed. You moaned and screamed his name as he roughly thrust into you to chase his own high. 

    “Jaemin!” You moaned as you felt your body shaking and you woke up. You sighed, another dream about your hot roommate. Facing him in the morning will be awkward. Unfortunately for you, Jaemin was already in your room, looking down at you. 

    You opened your eyes and saw a figure in your room. You screamed and jumped up. “Shh shh, it’s just me!” Jaemin said to calm you down. “ Are you okay? You were making weird noises in your sleep.” He wasn’t going to tell you that he heard you moaning his name. Not yet at least. 

    “I was? Y-yeah I’m fine. What are you doing in my room?” It was so dark, you didn’t even realize it was Jaemin until you heard his voice. You reached over and turned on the lamp next to your bed. You avoided his eyes, ashamed of yourself because of what you were dreaming about. Maybe you could play it off and say it was a nightmare. There is no way you could tell him the truth.

    “Oh, I was in the kitchen getting some water, but then I heard you so I thought I’d make sure you weren’t having another nightmare.” You sighed, he was so sweet. This now makes you feel even worse for having that dream about him. Jaemin always secretly had a crush on you, but he never did anything about it since you lived together. He also didn’t know if you liked him back, but now he knows you do after hearing you moan his name in your sleep. 

    You looked down at your blankets. “Oh. Yeah, it was a nightmare, but I’m okay. It wasn’t one of the bad ones.” You smiled at him, hoping that was a good enough answer. 

    “Do you want me to stay with you? You seem a little shaken up.” Jaemin watched as you shifted around in your bed. Your cheeks slightly turning red. He sat down at the edge of your bed and watched you carefully. Why did he have to be so nice? 

    You shook your head. “No, that’s okay. I’m gonna go back to sleep. I’m fine, really.” Why was he doing this? He’s never asked to stay before after you have a nightmare. He usually just makes sure you’re okay and then goes back to his room. Jaemin was a nice guy but he’s not usually this nice. 

    “Listen, Y/N...I know you weren’t having a nightmare. It’s okay, I’ve dreamed about you too.” Your eyes widened. What? What did he just say? He’s dreamed about you before? 

    “What are you talking about? It was a nightmare.” You said quickly to try to get him to stop pressuring you to tell him the truth. How could you tell him you were dreaming about him fucking you stupid? “I want to sleep in tomorrow since I’m off. I’ll see you later.” You just wanted him to leave your room and stop questioning you about your filthy dreams. 

    “You moaned my name a few times while you were sleeping. At first, I wasn’t gonna wake you, but your moans were so hot..I wanted to make your dreams come true.” Under the dim lighting of your room, you could see a smirk forming on his pretty lips. “Only if you want me to, of course.” 

    To say you were mortified was an understatement, but another part of you was excited to know that Jaemin feels the same about you. You had to pretend like his words didn’t have an effect on you, but you knew you failed miserably by not being able to respond to him. “Uh, Jae-Jaemin.” You finally met his gaze and you almost moaned again looking at him. He was too attractive. 

    He chuckled and started to move up your bed towards you. “Is that a yes?” Your breath became uneven as you watched him come closer to you. Even though you knew this wasn’t a dream, you felt like your mind was playing tricks on you. You pinched your thigh under your blanket to make sure you weren’t in a very realistic dream. You were not.

    Next thing you knew, Jaemin’s lips were dangerously close to yours. It was now or never; time to take what you want. How many times had you dreamed about this very moment? You leaned in to close the gap between you two, and you could feel him smile on your lips. 

    Jaemin moved the blanket from between you so that he could settle himself between your legs. His body fit with yours like a missing puzzle piece and you started to wonder why you didn’t say anything to him earlier. Jaemin’s lips were softer than you imagined they would be and you loved how they felt on your own lips. 

    One of your hands went from the nape of his neck to his soft hair while the other was going up his shirt to feel his toned back. Jaemin shivered under your touch as your lips became in sync with each other. His body shifted so that he could grind his hips down on yours. You moaned into your kiss when his hardening dick rubbed against you. 

    Jaemin pulled away from your lips to slowly kiss down your jaw and to your neck. You were wearing a tank top to bed, so you had a lot of exposed skin for him to kiss. Soft little noises of pleasure were slipping through your lips as he kissed all over your neck. He would leave little bite marks on your skin so that he could mark you as his finally. 

    Soon enough, Jaemin was teasing both of you by moving his hips into yours. You could feel him getting harder through his sweatpants as he kept up his movements. You were getting wetter with every passing second and you knew your panties were getting soaked. How much more teasing could you take? 

    Jaemin’s hands were on your shirt and he pulled away from your skin to take it off of you. Since you were in bed, you weren’t wearing a bra and Jaemin was very happy about that. He looked at your chest and you could see that his usually very sweet eyes were dark with lust. You’d never see him like this before and it was better than anything you’ve dreamed of. 

    As soon as your shirt was thrown somewhere, Jaemin didn’t hesitate to place his mouth around your already hardened nipple. He gently pushed you back down on the bed, and he swirled his tongue around your nipple. He had hardly done anything to you and you were already a mess. As his tongue danced around your nipple, your hands were in his hair and you mewled in pleasure. You threw your head back, so Jaemin removed his lips from your nipple to go back to your neck. 

    Jaemin’s hands were all over your body, but one of them was snaking its way into your little shorts. You gasped when you felt his large hand on your covered center. Jaemin smiled into your skin, pleased at your reaction. He could feel that you were already wet through your panties, so he decided to tease you a little. 

    Jaemin moved your panties to the side and his fingers teased your opening, using your wetness to easily slide up and down your entrance. You moaned and your grip on his hair got tighter. Jaemin groaned and the noise that came out of him was probably the hottest thing you’d ever heard. After a little bit of teasing, he slowly inserted his finger inside you, pumping it in and out of you. 

    He wasn’t even doing much, but the combination of his lips and his long finger was already driving you crazy. “F-fuck, Jaemin!” 

    He chuckled. “I haven’t even gotten started and you’re already moaning my name?” The smug tone in his voice pissed you off, but it felt too good for you to even think about saying anything back to him. Then to your dismay, he removed his finger from inside you. Jaemin rose up on his knees and removed his own shirt, showing off his toned body. You’d seen him shirtless before since you lived together, but it was never for very long. Sometimes, you would see him in the kitchen without a shirt on, or he’d be in the middle of getting ready for his day. You never really got a good look, but you knew he had a good body. 

    You bit your lip as you looked him up and down, your eyes stopping at the bulge in his grey sweats. Jaemin smirked at you when he noticed where you were looking. “Like what you see, Y/N?”

    You nodded as Jaemin leaned back down to kiss all over your body. His lips danced over your skin and you kept moaning out loud as he went lower. Nothing you ever dreamed about came close to what you were feeling right now. 

    “Jae-Jaemin," you moaned out as his lips were dangerously close to your center. He smirked before he kissed your inner thighs, teasing you. His lips were soft but harsh. He sucked on your thigh and kissed you closer to where you wanted him. Even in your dreams, you never imagined Jaemin would be so giving like this. 

    You felt his hot breath on your core and you sighed. How long was he going to keep up his teasing? You just wanted him to please you already. 

    Jaemin’s big eyes looked up at you before he dove in. You gasped when you felt his tongue give your clit a little lick. Again, he was teasing you, but at least you had him where you wanted him. He gave you another lick, but this time it was painfully slow. He loved that he could tease you like this, it made him so hard. 

    He kept messing with you by giving your clit little kisses and nips before moving his tongue down to your slit then back to your clit. You moaned and put your hands in his soft hair, tangling your fingers through it. He groaned into your heat when you pulled his hair, and you moaned from the vibration on your body. 

    Jaemin started to move his tongue a little faster and his hands held onto your thighs. You started to squirm underneath him so his grip on your thighs became tighter. His tongue was working wonders on you and you couldn't believe how much he was able to do with it. Even though this was the first time he ate you out, he knew exactly how to make you scream. Why was he so good at this?

    Just to make things better for you, Jaemin removed one hand from your thighs and he ever so slowly inserted a finger inside of you. “Shit!” You moaned when you felt him begin to thrust his finger in and out of you. 

    He gave the most attention to your clit by licking, sucking and kissing it over and over. The longer he stayed down there, the more sensitive you became. As he kept up with his licks, your hips were moving on their own so that he would be attached to your core. 

    He slid another finger in you and he curled them inside you. You screamed when his fingertips hit your spot. You pulled on his hair and he moaned into you once again. He liked the feeling of you pulling on his hair while he went down on you. He might keep his hair longer than he usually does so that you always do this.

    He moved his fingers faster and his tongue kept up its movements on your clit, causing you to get closer to your orgasm. You could feel yourself coming undone with each passing second. How he was so talented with his tongue was beyond you, but you weren’t going to question it; you just enjoyed the ride. 

    Your breathing was becoming heavier and the knot in your stomach was starting to unravel. “Ah, Jaemin!” You said as your orgasm was approaching. 

    He pulled away to look up at you and he was pleased with the sight before him. You were panting, moaning and your body was flushed red. He loved seeing you like this. “Come on, baby. Come for me.” He went back to your clit, and you came hard. You moaned his name and writhed underneath him. 

    He lapped up your juices and kissed your clit a few more times as you came down from your high. He removed his fingers, sucking on them before rising up on his knees. 

    You were spent, but you knew this was only the beginning. You looked up at the handsome man in front of you and saw that he had begun to take his sweat pants off and was stroking himself. 

    “Are you ready for more?” 

    As much as you wanted him to fuck you senseless, you also wanted to tease him a little bit. You moved so that you were on your knees and your hands were on his shoulders. You kissed him, tasting yourself on his soft lips before flipping him over so that he was laying on the bed. 

    Now it was your turn to kiss all over his gorgeous tan skin. You started at his lips and then moved down to his neck where you left a nicely sized mark above his collar bone. Jaemin was all yours now. 

    You could hear little soft grunts coming from Jaemin and it encouraged you to keep kissing along his toned body. His voice was intoxicating and you wanted to hear more of him; you wanted to make him moan. Even though it was dark in your room, you were able to see how beautiful his body was. You could stare at him for hours, but right now you wanted to finally please him.

    Your hand had found its way to his hard shaft, and you wrapped your fingers around his length. His breathing hitched when your thumb traced over his slit, moving the precum around his head. You now had the man of your dreams at your mercy and you were going to take full advantage of your position. 

    You looked up at the gorgeous man in front of you before you gave him a soft kiss to the tip of his cock. His dick twitched as he looked down at you to see what you were going to do next. He watched you open up your mouth to take his head in, sucking softly. He groaned feeling your mouth around him; he had waited so long for this. 

    You started to jerk him off slowly as your tongue licked against his head, making him throw his head back into your pillows. You were enjoying sucking him off like this; you liked being the one to make him moan the way he did. His moans were deep and raspy, yet they were still as beautiful as he was. The noises that were slipping through his lips were encouraging you to take as much of him in your mouth as you can. 

    You knew that Jaemin was blessed, but seeing it in person was different. It was especially different since he was now in your mouth, starting to thrust his hips. His hand was on the back of your head as his tip hit the back of your throat, causing you to gag a little bit. A strangled moan came out of Jaemin when you deep-throated him. 

    You pulled away from him to breathe and you pumped his shaft. You looked up at him again before going back to sucking him off and getting more and more turned out by the sounds coming out of Jaemin. You could listen to him moan all day and all night; his voice was the most beautiful thing you’d ever heard. At this point, you’d probably give him a blowjob every day just to hear him moan. 

    “Ah, Y/N...st-stop,” he stuttered out through his moans. You looked up at him through your lashes with his tip still in your mouth. He saw the confusion on your face before he sighed. “I need to fuck you.” 

    That was all he needed to say before you gave his pink tip one last kiss and pulling away from him. Jaemin groaned again as he got up off your bed. He started to leave your room. “Where are you going?” You asked him, a hint of sadness in your voice.

    He chuckled. “To grab a condom from my room. I’ll be right back.” He gave you a soft kiss before quickly heading to his room on the other side of the apartment. 

    While Jaemin was gone, your mind started to wonder. How did this happen? Was this real life and not another realistic dream? It felt a little too good to be just a dream. So far, this was better than any dream you’ve ever had about him. 

    You heard his footsteps and you started to get nervous. Sure, you just gave him head, but now you were going to finally be with him. The more you thought about it, the less nervous you became. Once Jaemin had come back into your room with the condom in his hand, all your nerves turned into excitement. 

    You watched him as he ripped open the condom wrapper then slid the rubber onto his hard cock. He crawled back onto your bed and soon enough, he was on top of you, kissing on your neck then finally your lips. You could feel his tip tease at your entrance, and you moaned. You had become so wet from sucking him off, you couldn’t wait for him to be in you. Your body yearned for him and your hips bucking on their own, earning another groan from him. 

    Before you knew it, Jaemin had slipped his head in and you gasped at the feeling. He smirked before going all the way to the hilt. This time, you moaned loudly. You were now filled with him, the man you’d been dreaming about for months. No dream could compare to this. 

    Jaemin kissed you one more time before he moved his beautiful hips. He started out slowly so you could adjust to his size. His slow pace felt so good, but you wanted him to do more. You kept moaning his name, encouraging him to move a little faster. As your moans became louder, his thrusts became less gentle. 

    One of your hands was on the nape of his neck and the other was tangled in his soft hair that you loved so much. The feeling of his body on top of yours was indescribable and you couldn’t believe how good you were feeling already. You and him had just started, but it felt like you’d been going all night. The connection between you two was fiery and neither of you had any idea why you waited so long to finally do this. 

    At first, Jaemin wanted to play it safe and be semi-gentle with you, but he soon figured out you could handle more than that. Since this was your first time together, Jaemin didn’t want to be rough with you. Of course, if you told him to be a little rougher, he will. He’d do anything you wanted him to do, as long as you were moaning his name. And you were doing just that as he picked up his pace, going faster than before. 

    His new pace was driving you crazy and you were loving every second. The way he felt inside you, the way his body fit with yours; this was perfect. Jaemin took one of your legs and hooked it around his slim waist, making him go deeper. He held onto your thigh as he practically started to drill into you. Considering how your moans were getting louder and louder, he knew he was doing the right thing by going faster. 

    At this point, the only thing you knew how to do was say his name. You didn’t need anything else, just him and his dick ramming into you. You watched as his muscles flexed with each movement he made. His skin started to glisten with sweat and his brows furrowed in concentration as he made you feel good. 

    Soon enough, Jaemin had reached that sweet spot in you, making you scream out his name. “Fuck, Jaemin!” 

    He smirked as he kept up his movements, making you get weaker with each thrust. You weren’t sure how much longer you were going to last with how he was going. You were being dicked down so good that you couldn’t think about anything but him. You couldn’t remember the last time you felt this good. 

    Jaemin was also getting close to his own orgasm, but he wanted to make sure you came first. His hand that was on your hip had moved to your clit and once again, you screamed out loud at his touch. His fingertip rubbed your clit slowly; a huge contrast to the way his thrusts were. The softness of his touch compared to his hips had your head spinning and you knew you’d come undone at any minute. Your walls started to tighten around his dick and he groaned. You felt so good around him, he could fuck you all night. 

    Soon enough, the pleasure had become too intense for you and you had the most amazing orgasm you’d had in a long time. You threw your head back into the pillows and your toes curled as you felt it go through your entire body. You couldn’t believe he made you feel this good and he barely knew your body. 

    Jaemin’s hips started to falter before they stiffened and he came into the condom. He thrust into you a few more times to milk out both of your orgasms. Jaemin leaned down to kiss you softly before pulling out of you. You sighed being disconnected from him, but you knew this would happen again. Hopefully.

    Jaemin got up off your bed to throw away the spoiled condom before he laid down next to you. “Did I make your dreams come true?” 

    You giggled before snuggling into him. “Yes, Jaemin, you did.” You gave him one more kiss before falling asleep in his arms.

    #Jaemin x reader #Na Jaemin#NCT#Jaemin smut#Jaemin fanfic#kpop fanfic#kpop smut#NCT Smut#NCT Dream #NCT Dream smut #NCT Dream fanfic #im in this nctzen shit for life #damn
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  • daegalfangirl
    25.01.2022 - 2 days ago

    love maze — NVM EGO SHATTERED (10)

    prev | m.list | next

    ❝ oh my god! you're cute. ❞

    you've been popularly known as a bitch, and you agree. that's not the issue here. you enjoy messing around with boys for quite a while, their heart in your hands. you never expected for it to go the other way when you bump into a boy at the corn maze. yep, and it gets worse when you find out you're not the only girl head over heels for him. you're becoming a better person, but karma was bound to strike for what you've done in the past. maybe it's about time you understand how it really feels.

    taglist: @sunflowerhae @neoteez01 @ashesandfanfics @cacaubs @dayandnighthyuck @neokats @furryllamas @eggoyu @blossom-rea @scented-morker @loveleejn @sunshine-skz @vantxx95 @seolrose @legbouk @mark-wife-renjun-whore @yunoshandholder @heetrbl @amindpalaceofmyown @jaeminslut @girlfiendsss @heyitsbreeeeee @yo-dreamrush @mrkleelvr @yvtaverse @jiye0n0 @flower-lise @thejungjaehyun @todorokiskitten @rynshyuckies @hiraarri @tacojisung @multihoe-net @b1awhore @squiishymeow @bbanggami @maddypool31 @aminihhj @meltinghershey

    want to be added to the taglist? click here!

    #nct#nct u#nct 127#nct dream#wayv#nct smau #nct social media au #nct texts#nct imagines#nct fluff#nct smut#nct angst#kpop imagines #kpop social media au #kpop texts#renjun smut#renjun fluff#renjun angst#renjun imagines#jaemin angst#jaemin fluff#jaemin smut #nct dream imagines #nct dream texts #nct dream fluff #nct dream angst #nct dream smut #nct 127 fluff #nct 127 angst #nct 127 smut
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  • ne0jaemns
    24.01.2022 - 2 days ago

    looking for moots

    i´m just looking for other nctzens :)

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  • sprinklesofktrash
    24.01.2022 - 3 days ago

    Gate away sex  -n.jaemin

    Pairing: Husband! Jaemin x fem reader

    Warnings: Smut, throat fucking, teasing, receiving/giving head, fingering, swearing, filthy, public fingering [?], Jaemin being a dom, a little fluff, horny Jaemin, dirty talks, riding, and just pure nasty. 

    Word Counts: 3.5k

    Summary: Jaemin suggest to take a little vacation away from the kids to appreciate their marriage. He mainly just want to fuck you by the beach. 

    “Daddy! Daddy!” Your son calls out for your husband. Jaemin came out of the bathroom, and pick up your 4-year-old son. “Mommy said she sick” your son pointed at you. Where you’re pretending to sleep.

    Jaemin came to the couch to feel your temperature with his hand. “Sick of you!” Your son begins laughing. You wake up and laugh with him.

    Jaemin gasp at your son down as you both laugh at him. Jaemin glares at you two. “You have to stay away from mommy, she’s teaching you bad things,” He tells your son. You pick him up and set him on your lap.

    “Tell daddy, no, you love mommy” You whisper in your son’s ear.

    “I love mommy” your son smiles at Jaemin and leans in to kiss your cheek. You giggle and hug your son.

    Then the baby monitor went off, you and Jaemin exchanged eye contact.

    ‘It’s your turn’ you shoot him a look.

    ‘It was mine at 2 am!’ He sends you another look.

    The cry got louder, Jaemin sighed and went to the room. He came back a few seconds later with your daughter in his arms.

    “This is why Binna is my favorite” Jaemin smiles as he plants tiny kisses on your 2-year-old.

    “It’s okay, Jiho mommy always loves you” You lean in to kiss your son’s cheek. You put on a movie while all of you lay on the couch together. Your son had fallen asleep so you took him to his room.

    You came back, Binna was also asleep in Jaemin’s arm. You pat your husband’s arm as he woke up. Jaemin look down at Binna who was still asleep. You mention to him to put her in her room.

    You turn off the tv and went to your room. Jaemin soon joined after you. He falls on the bed with a groan.

    “I’m so tired baby” He groan and drag himself on the bed. Your laugh and kiss his cheek.

    “You’re amazing as always” Jaemin pulls you into his arms as the two of you spoon in the quiet room.

    “I’ve been thinking, why don’t we take a little vacation, just us two. We can drop the kids off at my parents” he suggests. You weren’t sure about the idea.

    “Jae, Binna is still little. I don’t know if your mom can handle it” you felt bad. You didn’t want his mom to take care of a crying baby while you’re out on vacation.

    “That’s why I talked to her” Jaemin said. You gasp and sit up. “I know, I should’ve talked to you first but she wants to do it! Come on baby, think about it. We haven’t been on vacation since our honeymoon” Jaemin beg.

    Yeah, if you weren’t too horny we would’ve still been on vacation.

    “Are you sure your mom can do it?” You have to double-check. Jaemin nodded.

    “I am so sure” He put his hand over his heart.

    “Fine, but only for 4 days!” You told him. He cheers, you quickly shush him before Binna wakes up. The two of you look at the door, waiting for Binna to cry but she didn’t.

    Jaemin tackles you with kisses. “I love you, I love you!” He leans in and kisses your lips. You lay over his chest with your legs wrapped around his.

    “Where do you think we should go?” You whispered.

    “Where do you want to go?” Jaemin asks, looking at you for an answer.  

    “Somewhere warm!” You said. Jaemin agreed.

    “Hmm, Bali? We haven’t been there” he suggests. You nodded. “Yes!”

    Jaemin looks down at you, “so Bali?” He asks. You nodded. You and Jaemin shriek like high schoolers.

    The two of you were excited about this little gateway.

    The two of you made it to Bali, you kept checking on your kids as Jaemin check-in. “Baby, can you not use your phone? This is our time” he says as you check the last photo of your kids that his mom had sent you.

    “They’re so cute” you showed him the same picture. Jaemin rolls his eyes, this would be your 3rd time crying over the same picture. Jaemin snatches your phone and puts it in his pocket. You groan, “Jaemin!” You pout. He took the keycard from the receptionist, “No, you’ll get it back after our four days is up” he said sternly. You lower your head.

    “Look at the view, this is breathtaking” he leads you to the window showing the beautiful scenery. He wasn’t joking. It was beautiful! The resort overlooks the beautiful blue water surrounded by mountains. You take Jaemin hand in yours and squeeze, “I’m glad I’m here you.” Jaemin smiles and leans down to kiss you.

    The two of you went to your suite, you went to the balcony to feel the warm air hugging you. The smell of fresh water and sand. “I was thinking to eat dinner tonight, what do you say?” Jaemin asks as he unpacks. You nodded. You went to the bed and lay down. You watch Jaemin putting away his stuff.

    “Come here, let’s cuddle. I haven’t been stressed in 24 hours and you look really hot” you pat the empty spot beside you. Jaemin smirk and lay beside you. The two of you cuddle with each other, letting the warm airflow inside the room.

    “I hope you brought something sexy tonight” Jaemin looks down at you. You smirk, “why? You want to take it off from me tonight?” You raise your eyebrows.

    “If you let me” he leaned in his head closer to you. “You can rip it off of me” You smile as he was about to kiss you, you move away. Jaemin groan. “You’re teasing now” he pouts. You got on top of him, “no I’m not” as you grind over his crotch. Jaemin bit his lip, his hands landed over your waist.

    “I might as well take that clothes of you right now” he plays with the hem of your jeans. You shake your head no, “save it for tonight baby, we have all four days” You wink down at him. He grabs your shirt and pulls you down.

    “I don’t want any tease” he whispers in your ears. “Do anything Jae, I’m all yours after all” You kiss his lips.

    After dinner, you and Jaemin took a little walk down by the beach. The two of you rested on the sand, just admiring the cool breeze and the sound of the ocean. There’s nothing you could see but darkness since it was dark.

    Jaemin sat behind you with his arms wrapped around your waist. “Are we weird sitting by the ocean looking at nothing?” Jaemin cracks a joke. You laughed.

    “No, I think people are sitting down somewhere just to hear the tides,” you told him. Jaemin hum in your ear.

    “What if you didn’t say yes to me when I asked you to marry me?” Jaemin asks. Your fingers were playing with his large hands.

    “Jae, I would never say no to you. Meeting you was the best thing that has ever happened to me” you kiss his hand.

    “Awh,” he cooed. “I still can’t believe I met you. I will never stop loving you. Ever!” He leans in to kiss your shoulder.

    “Even if I turn into a worm?” You joked. “Even if you turn into a worm” he chuckles. You turn around and kiss his lips.

    “I could fuck you right now” you whispered in his ear. Jaemin was taken back. He glances around and smirks. “Here?” He asks.

    “Are you crazy? We’re sitting on sand” You told him dumbfounded.

    “Oh, let me finger you then” He whispered. You bit your lips. “Sit” there was a hint of demand in his tone.

    You listen. His hand travels up your skirt and begins teasing you over your thin cloth. You moan as his fingers touch your sensitive spot.

    “I love hearing you moan baby” Jaemin whispers in your ear. You grip onto his arms as you spread your legs wider for him to enter.

    “Tell me you want me,” he says. His fingers were teasing you as he kept passing your hole.

    “Fuck Jaemin, I need you” you groan. You felt Jaemin smirk behind you and insert two fingers inside of you.

    Jaemin pumping his fingers inside of you while you grip into his skin from the feeling he’s giving you. The sound was muffled by the waves crashing into the shore. You could moan as much as you want and no one could hear you.

    “Your fingers are so long” you moan as he pumps faster. You felt you were about to come, “I feel you, baby, come,” Jaemin says. You close your eyes as you release yourself.

    “Why don’t we finish this in the hotel room” he smirks. You nodded. You both stand up and head back to the room.

    “You look really hot right now Jaemin” you roam your hands all over his body. Jaemin smirk, “oh yeah? Do you want me to take my shirt off?”

    “Hmmm” you nodded. Jaemin unbutton his shirt as he kept his eyes on you. “Take off your dress, baby” he bit his lips. You unzip your dress as it slips right of you, showing your bare chest and the thong you had put on.

    Jaemin pushes you down on the bed as he stands at the edge of the bed. You look up at him as you unbuckle his belt. “I’m so hard for you right now baby” Jaemin groans as he pulls your chin up to look at him.

    You let his pant slip down and take his brief off making his cock bounce up. You bit your lips. “Fuck yes you are” you moan as you wrap your hand around his cock. Jaemin groans as he closes his eyes, feeling your hands stroking his length.

    “Suck it” he demands. You hum before wrapping your lips around his hard cock. Jaemin moans as his dick touch your tongue. You kept your eyes on him as he look down while you sucked him.

    Jaemin smirk before holding your hair back. “You look so pretty with my cock around your mouth” his voice was low and husky.

    “You just know how to suck this cock huh?” He groans as you deepthroat him. “Fuck” he moans. He thrust his hips into your mouth like your mouth so he can feel it touching your throat.

    “Let me fuck you” Jaemin growled. You nodded as you wipe the saliva that drips down to your chin.

    He made you turn around as your ass stuck out at the edge of the bed. You look at your reflection at the window. With your legs spread out, Jaemin took this chance to admire how good and juicy your folds are.

    Jaemin kneels as he spits into your wet fold and begins licking it. Kissing your folds up and down. You groan and lay your head on the sheet. Jaemin’s mouth drill inside your pussy, tasting it.

    “Fuck Jaemin” you groan. Jaemin hand begins playing with your clit making you close your legs. Jaemin hisses and makes you spread your legs back open by slapping your ass.

    “You taste so good baby” he groans into your pussy. After the lick of everything dry, Jaemin stands up and aligns himself with you.

    He looks at his reflection in the window and thrust himself inside of you. The two of you moan loudly. You grip onto the sheets.

    “So tight” Jaemin groaned. You groan every time he thrusts into you, you could feel it reach into your stomach.

    Jaemin grabs your hands and rests them on your back. You hold on to his wrist as he pumps inside of you. “Fuck Jae!” You cried. Jaemin hiss when he felt you clench your walls around him, he hold on to both of your wrists and begin thrusting faster.

    “Shit, shit, shit!” You moan as you came. Jaemin didn’t stop, he kept thrusting himself inside of you.

    “You have to last until I come” Jaemin demands. You nodded into the bed. “Say yes!” He raises his voice.

    “Y-yes Jaemin” you groan. Jaemin smirked, he took out his cock. You look behind you, “lay down with your head at the edge of the bed” he demand.

    You lay on your back as your head hung over the edge of the bed. Jaemin gently slap your cheek, “open your mouth” he says, you followed. Jaemin drove his dick inside of your mouth.

    You groan as he thrust his cock inside of your mouth. Jaemin groans as he plays with your pussy. He then begins licking your clit, tasting your juice. He didn’t slow down as he fuck your throat.

    “I want you to taste your juice around my cock” he says. You gag a few times as you felt the saliva building up in the back of your throat.

    Jaemin removes himself as you gasp for air. He smirked, “you’re so hot” Jaemin helped you up.

    “Let me ride you” you whispered. Jaemin nodded as he lay down on his back. You climb over him.

    You lean in to kiss his lips as you slowly go down on his dick. Jaemin moans into your lips. You begin to go up and down and maintain eye contact with him.

    Jaemin hands roam down to your ass and slap it. “Fuck you love riding his cock don’t you?” He grins. “I fucking love you cock” you moan as you sit up and begin to rock back and forth, holding his chest for support.

    “Your cock feels so good inside of me” you groan as you felt it moving inside of you. Jaemin was amazed by the way you look. His eyes watched how his dick moved in and out of you while your breasts move along with you.

    You rock your hips in a circle, Jaemin groans and jerk a few times. “Fuck baby, that feels good” he groans. You found out something he likes. You begin to keep moving your hips in a circle and change it a few times. 

    “You like it when I fuck you like that?” You smirk. Jaemin eyes open, “fuck yes,” he says. You did it again as he close his eyes and grab your hips.

    He begins to move your hood back and forth making you moan louder at the feeling. “Fuck! I could feel you” you groan as your head fell backward. Your hands hold on to his thighs.

    “Shit baby, you’re going to make me cum” Jaemin groaned. You grab onto the headboard and begin grinding on him. “Fuck yes” Jaemin groaned.

    You went faster to make him cum. Jaemin grip onto your ass tighter as you kept your pace steady. “Fuck, I’m coming” He groaned. He stop you from moving as he move his hips inside of you and came.

    You smile as Jaemin kept his eyes close. You lean in to lay on the crook of his neck. “When did you learn how to move like that?” Jaemin as you rub your back.

    “I pick up a few things online” you kiss his neck. “Thank you to that person” he chuckles tiredly.

    “Are you tired baby?” You ask him as your hand stroke his cheek.

    “Not really” he smiles. You prop your elbow beside his head and look at him. “Let’s go on the jacuzzi, I can show you something else I learned” you wink at him. Jaemin’s mouth open a bit. You got off of him, making him groan from the orgasm he had a few minutes ago.

    You head over to the balcony, Jaemin eyes roam all over your body as he watches you go to the balcony and start the water.

    Jaemin smirked as he got up wiped the cum off his cock and head out to where you were. Jaemin slaps your ass and grip onto it. “Hmm, I can’t wait for round two” He whispered in your ear.

    “And three and four” you continued. Jaemin laughs at you because he doesn’t know where this burst of energy came from. He’s not complaining though.

    Suddenly you stop moving, Jaemin wondering why. “I wonder what my babies are doing” you suddenly remembered you were a mom.

    Jaemin rolls his eyes, “honey, seriously?!” He asks. You nodded, your eyes practically begging Jaemin to let you use your phone. “Ugh, you’re so cute but so hot. Go call them and we’ll finish this after” Jaemin says. You shriek and lean in to kiss his cheek.

    “Don’t fall asleep!” You said sternly. Jaemin nodded. He got inside the jacuzzi and relax as the water gave him a massage. Jaemin looks inside as he listens to your conversation with the kids.

    Jaemin smiles, he’s glad he met someone who’s a good mother and also a good wife. He watches you turn around as you continue talking on the phone. You send him a kiss as he sends you one back.

    You and Jaemin had woke up early the next morning, you both wanted to see the sunrise together. The two of you walk down to the beach with both of your hands in each other. The two of you sat down on the sand and watch the beautiful colors of orange, yellow, and blue tones of the sky. You look at your husband, the way his skin was shining from the sun.

    “What?” He smiles when he notices you staring at him.

    “You’re so handsome” You cup his cheek. Jaemin blushes as he pulls your chin closer to him and kisses your lips passionately.

    “I love you a lot” Jaemin whispered as he kiss your forehead and rest his head on yours. The two of you watch the sky turn blue wrapping in each other’s arms.

    “What should we do today?” Jaemin asks as he rocks you back and forth.

    “Let’s go see monkeys!” You gasp. Jaemin furrowed his brows, “Hell no! What if they bite me? Or you!” Jaemin shakes his head.

    You pout, “please, I’ll protect you” you to take his hand in yours. Jaemin wasn’t fond of the idea but since you wanted to go he’s willing to take you.

    “Fine, but one wrong thing we’re leaving!” He says. You cheered.

    The whole time at the monkey sanctuary, Jaemin was stiff. He clung to you whenever the monkey lands on his shoulder. You laugh as you try feeding them. “Babe, he’s scratching my ear. I don’t like this, get him off of me” Jaemin panicked as the worker laughed and take the monkey off of him.

    “Baby, calm down. Why are you so tense?” Your laugh and hug him. “He’s looking at me funny” Jaemin says as the two of you look at the monkey who was laughing at Jaemin for being scared.

    “He’s laughing at you” You laughed. Jaemin rolls his eyes. When it was your turn, the monkey seem to like you as he clung to you and didn’t want to let you go. Jaemin started to get jealous.

    “Alright, get off my wife,” Jaemin says. You laugh as you hug the monkey.

    “My husband is scared of you, but you’re the cutest little thing” you murmur. The monkey laughs. You look at Jaemin who was giving nasty look at the monkey. The monkey jumps back to its owner as you wave by at him. The monkey wave back. You wrap your arms around Jaemin and tease him.

    “I can’t believe that monkey almost gives me a divorce,” Jaemin says, you laugh.

    “Come on, I would never leave my big baby” You squeeze him. “You’re so cute when you’re jealous” You chuckle and pinch his cheek.

    “You know what would be good right now?” You know that face he was making. You smile, “let’s go eat!” You joke.

    “No, babe no-“ you cut him off. “After we eat, I’ll put your jealousy away” you whispered to him. Jaemin smirked, he quickly nodded to the idea.

    You let out a soft chuckle, “I can’t believe you’re so jealous of a monkey” You shake your head in disbelief. Jaemin started defending himself as you both head to a local restaurant.

    “I have a new story to tell all my friends now” you smirk. Jaemin stops you, “don’t tell anyone this! This is embarrassing!” He groans.

    “Exactly” you pinch his soft cheek. “I won’t tell if you make it right tonight” You wink at him. Jaemin mouth opens a little and pulls you into his arm.

    “Baby, you know I will” He whispered seductively in your ear. You look down at his growing print. “Seriously Jaemin, you’re hard right now” You groan and cover. him with your body.

    “I can’t resist, you look good right now” Jaemin arms snake down to your waist. “I want you” he whispered.

    You shake your head no, “We’re eating first and then you can relieve yourself later” you said sternly. Jaemin groans and tugs on your dress.

    “No Jaemin, I’m hungry!” You fought back. Jaemin huff and cross his arms, “Fine. I’ll punish you later” He said as he lead himself into the restaurant.

    As much as you like the idea you need to feed yourself. It was too humid and you were hungry. You could pass out from the heat. You catch up with your husband as you both carry on the vacation full of memories and romantic sex.

    #kpop smut#kpop jaemin #na jaemin x reader #na jaemin smut #na jaemin#nct jaemin #nct dream imagines #nct dream smut #nct smut#sm nct#jaemin smut#jaemin au#jaemin fluff#jaemin
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  • marcusleesimp
    24.01.2022 - 3 days ago

    The Neos in Bed

    A/N: this is just my opinion!! Ain’t no way in hell I’d know what they’re like fr. This is just for funsies 🤪🤪

    Cocky assholes

    - Ten, Haechan, Chenle

    Gentle lovers

    - Taeil, Kun, Shotaro

    Half angel half Devil

    - Johnny, Jaemin

    Nervous virgins

    - Mark, Xiaojun, Yangyang, Jisung

    Surprisingly confident virgins

    - Hendery, Sungchan

    Surprisingly aggressive

    - Winwin, Jungwoo, Renjun, Jeno

    BDSM Boys

    - Yuta, Doyoung

    Good ol dom

    - Jaehyun

    Good ol sub

    - Taeyong

    A/N: What do you think? Does this list need some altering?
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  • hyunspet
    24.01.2022 - 3 days ago

    fics recommendations

    caption:

    [ ◂ ] like it very much

    [◂◂] i love it so much, i've read it several times

    normal themes

    nct 127

    이태용

    中本悠太

    정윤오

    nct dream

    mark lee

    黄仁俊

    이제노

    I see red

    game over | "just let me finish this level and I'll go down on you until you cum three times"

    jeno x reader + renjun

    hate sex

    考验我 | 1; 2 ◂◂

    이동혁

    garotinha insuportável - PT-BR ◂

    empty pockets

    how dom!hyuck degrade his sub

    11:32 AM

    make it fit | best friend!haechan tries to convince you that he in fact does have a big dick but you won’t believe him so he decides to show you

    나재민

    meant to be | you were never a believer of horoscopes nor future readings, so when a fortune teller mentions that you and bestfriend!jaemin were meant to be, you just shrugged it off. but the world seemed to be dead set on making the prediction come true. ◂

    钟辰乐

    박지성

    reactions

    ▵ smut

    they woke up to the reader having a wet dream and moaning their name

    y/n started acting bratty during sex

    jealous sex with the dreamies

    degradation with nct dream

    ▴ fluffy / funny

    helping an s/o who struggles with eating regularly

    nct dream's reaction to you kissing their neck

    the dreamies see you wearing their clothes ◂◂

    you getting your wisdom teeth removed

    having another member's photocard ◂

    y/n back hugging them

    yandere themes

    yandere types

    nct 127

    이태용

    中本悠太

    정윤오

    nct wayv

    董思成

    mine | ⚠ choking; near death experience; jealous!sicheng ◂

    nct dream

    mark lee

    黄仁俊

    이제노

    puppy - lee jeno ◂◂

    blurb

    이동혁

    unpredictable | he changed the locks… again. | ⚠ toxic relationship

    yandere!haechan x arachnophobe!reader ◂◂

    나재민

    钟辰乐

    accept me

    박지성

    reactions

    s/o drawing on their arm while they're asleep ◂◂

    obedient s/o breaking a rule for the first time

    y/n being very energetic (ot23)

    #nct dream#nct#nct smut #dom!renjun #dom!jeno #dom!donghyuck #dom!jaemin #dom!mark #yandere!renjun #yandere!jeno #yandere!donghyuck #yandere!jaemin #yandere!chenle #yandere!jisung #yandere!mark #hyunspetpost#fic suggestions#my faves
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