#joke Tumblr posts

bedelia: you righteous, reckless, bitchy little man

my cat / fallen angel by alexandre cabanel

I wanted to sue an airport for losing my luggage and causing emotional distress.

But the lawyer said I have no case and now I must deal with the baggage on my own.

The entire twilight series was just as traumatizing as I thought it would be dont watch it 🤞🏻

saw some guy on youtube make a list with his favourite horror movie per year hes been alive and i thought that was cool so heres mine except ive only seen 132 horror movies according to letterboxd so ive only seen like 3 or 4 per year they were released in

2000: ginger snaps

2001: thir13en ghosts. also das experiment though

2002: the ring

2003: final destination 2 (house of 1000 corpses is also really good though)

2004: saw

2005: saw ii

2006: the silent hill movie

2007: saw iv <333 

2008: saw v (the other option is sweeny todd which i hate but id literally choose saw v no matter what so)

2009: either jennifers body or my bloody valentine, just so this list isnt just all saw movies

2010: .... saw 3d

2011: cabin in the woods!!!

2012: american mary

2013: the purge just because the other option would be the green inferno which fucking sucks or conjuring which i dont like that much either. and insidious 2 is too transphobic

2014: as above so below (or what we do in the shadows if that counts)

2015: insidious 3 i guess but the final girls was also really nice. made me cry during a strip scene so thats fun lol

2016: raw & train to busan. im not choosing between those.

2017: get out

2018: the house that jack built (which i saw for the first time like half an hour ago lmao but i really loved it so much)

2019: ready or not

2020: the invisible man but kadaver too!!!

2021: saw spiral

aka take a wild guess what my favourite horror franchise is. i never really noticed before but apparently i love body horror

why did i just find a dnf fic which was straight up word for word a scott/stiles fic from like 2014 with the names replaced

one more day without c!tommy lore and i might die

Okay this is the dream-

Dog - Muppet

Cats - Maggots, Becketts and Pablo.

Pls give me money

shows up to a date with a blender in a plastic bag

It probably has nothing to do with me, but i asked a guy if he'd like to watch movies with me on discord and i thought he was interested....and like two weeks later he deactivated 🙃

Why is it so hard to make friends?

yall i dont hate @alfredo-king07 i just thoroughly dislike him :)

go talk to him and ruin your own lives

Bitches be like "yeah i wanna interview you" but then reject you before the interview even happens lmaooo

3k geo damage moment

i think reading pluto is an experience everyone needs at least once in their life

if i bitched and moaned and whined at netflix to add mitm back on and made a useless petition of sorts do you guys think it'd do anything

And people wonder where my sense of humor comes from....

Warning: Cartoon Violence, Memes, Crude Humor, Dated Jokes (especially the early ones)

I can quote all of these. No joke.

@roxycake (I don't know who else to tag so feel free to tag more people)