#jokes Tumblr posts

  • setsu-mushou
    18.09.2021 - 9 minutes ago
    #the joke about this being brighter than a particle accelerator or thermonuclear bomb
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  • xks89006
    18.09.2021 - 9 minutes ago
    #honkai impact #herrscher of sentience #fu hua #i might as well post this here too #the light saber sound was a joke but then it ended up fitting so yep #quick snip
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  • ghirahims-trophyhusband
    18.09.2021 - 14 minutes ago

    My dreams are some of the funniest things alive because I saw my friends were talking Lord of the Rings before I fell asleep, so they (the dreams) decided it was time they assigned me an F/O I guess??

    So, in this dream I’m with a group of people who are determined to get me to F/O someone from LOTR and I play along and go “OK fine” and they keep showing me photos of Aragorn but it does nothing for me (to me he’s a friend) so they show me the next character and my brain immediately goes “yes yes yes!” (despite me waking up after and being VERY confused over my dream choice lmao) and the entire group is very confused because the character in question was fucking Sauron lmao.

    Then my dream shifted to where I was in the actual LOTR universe (and my s/i design was VERY cool I’ll have to draw it when i have the chance!) and the Orcs were bros and super nice to me, but when I wanted to get Sauron’s attention/get him to stop being evil, I literally just threw myself off a tall building and every time he’d catch me whilst yelling “WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!!!”

    And even now, I’m mocking the shit out of this incredibly powerful and deadly person by making up stupid scenarios like this because the already comedic tone of the dream really lends itself here.

    #Goldie speaks #i am actually tempted to f/o him but by no means in a serious sense #just as a complete joke ghjfkdg #way of the house husband but it’s sauron dealing with his aggressively positive partner #meanwhile the nazgul are getting their nails done
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  • v3ry-c00l
    18.09.2021 - 16 minutes ago

    hi im back. i passed out

    #like im not even joking i conked the fuck out without my knowledge #floor tag
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  • toujou8
    18.09.2021 - 17 minutes ago

    nct127s new song is like that one tumblr post that’s like ‘if i was a musician i would release a song that is so unbearably bad and then watch my fans try to defend it on twitter’ but in real life

    #mine #i literally thought it was a joke when i first heard it lol but its real? #like i’m sorry but the squeaky recorder is not art it is mr SM in the studio going ‘how bad a song can i make these twinks sing’
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  • siebenscherben
    18.09.2021 - 18 minutes ago
    #THIS IS STILL THE BEST VIDEO EVER #love is no joke #joanna stingray#kino#viktor tsoi#кино#виктор цой #любовь - это не шутка #and pin goes brrr
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  • canniboylism
    18.09.2021 - 20 minutes ago

    speaking of emotional support whumpee: BBU but Whumpee isn’t just taught the standard WRU phrases about age of consent and punishment and that the owner is safe etc but also Whumper’s preferred Subway/Starbucks/etc order!

    #bbu#it speaks#meme #handler: what do you know about the owner? pet: ‘the owner is safe no matter who they are’ #handler ‘good. and about subway?’ ‘I’ll take a foot long BBQ Rib with no cheese toasted and with lettuce tomatoes onions—’ #oh god oh fuck hold on one second that allows me to go #Handler: you forgot THE PICKLES #yeah I HAD to make a spongebob joke #I’ll post proper content one day I promise
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  • greateggcult
    18.09.2021 - 26 minutes ago

    I love Drem SIMP

    they’ve got




    - gay Soup

    - Walter Slut

    - Goose Man

    - Slim Jim

    - Niktoons

    - not a therapist


    - Furnish game boy

    -Fondant the fox

    -Drem the abducted

    - cannonnotically Greg

    - Disobedient hallowed circle

    -Skooby doo

    -Aunt freezer


    -Mac folder management 

    #jokes #spelling things incorrectly for humorous effect #dream smp
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  • olmtheamphibian
    18.09.2021 - 28 minutes ago

    Have anyone seen a Rhino poop?

    It slaps!

    #jokes#funny#humour#humor#lol#random #really it slaps #look it up
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  • freche-witze-und-liebe-sprueche
    18.09.2021 - 30 minutes ago

    Freche Witze & liebe Sprüche / Facebook

    Keine Ahnung, warum es immer wieder heißt, ich sei schwierig. Ich bin lediglich ein Nerven- und Kreislauf anregendes Persönchen.

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  • un-pearable
    18.09.2021 - 34 minutes ago

    this twitter takeover really said tails rights. you go little buddy

    buff tails mints moidur

    #yes i know the buff joke is mostly a reference but also absolutely adorable #imagining them all just being extremely supportive. he’s a little kid he deserves the support #sonic twitter takeover #sonic #tails the fox #miles tails prower #art✨ #i’m so out of practice 😔 we’re working on it #he’s sitting cross legged btw it’s not that clear sry #*bugs bunny voice*
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  • unpunny
    18.09.2021 - 34 minutes ago

    As I held my trophy, I looked at the enormous crowd that had gathered around.

    "I'd just like to thank my wife, my kids, my dog, my cat, my grandmother, the birds, the bees, the trees, the world, the cars, the stars, the hippies, the homos, the tramps, the lovers, the haters, the millennials, the old, the young, the wise, the dumb, the frogs, the sheep, the goats, the lizards. More than any of these, though, I would like to thank those eusocial insects of the family Formicidae, and their wonderful six legs...the inspiration they have given to this day remains unrivalled."

    Silence surrounded me. My friends in the crowd watched me in disbelief.

    But I wasn't having them do that, I had to tell them.

    I leaned into the microphone: "What? You said I needed to make an accept ants speech."

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  • shythalia
    18.09.2021 - 44 minutes ago

    Me watching USA get destroyed multiple times by superhero & monster battles:

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  • dirtypuzzle
    18.09.2021 - 45 minutes ago

    ik ik bad idea but I feel like I need a vice for the impending climate crisis. like I’m no doomer but I’m also uh,,,,,kinda fucking poor and not all that assured I’ll be one of the ones making it through any climate disaster no matter how much we manage to mitigate it. plus if I’m gonna have to throw hands with fascists over this idk I might need something stronger than water.

    #im mostly joking but also idk #everybody’s gonna die #is it that crazy to just have the one vicw #its not like I wanna do meth or anything #just hit a vape once in a while or something
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  • s0ftbb
    18.09.2021 - 48 minutes ago
    #p#anon #I’m sorry anon I should really clarify when it’s an inside joke between me myself and I #lmao but I’m just like … debut album and already a fucking rage song ! love to see it
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  • funooo
    18.09.2021 - 54 minutes ago
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  • funooo
    18.09.2021 - 54 minutes ago
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  • funooo
    18.09.2021 - 54 minutes ago
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  • lethargic-comedian
    18.09.2021 - 54 minutes ago

    oh boy oh boy am i so excited to waste the weekend away because i get no joy from doing absolutely anything!

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  • bambicambi
    18.09.2021 - 55 minutes ago


    My tics: rawr~

    Me: *jokingly* what? Gonna make me say 'paw~' next?

    My tics: paw~ paw~ paw paw~

    Me: no-

    My tics: paw~-

    Me: -no--

    My tics: paw paw~


    My tics: rawr~ paw~ rawr rawr paw~

    Me: *gibberish*

    #TANGENTS#tics#FUCJ #i DIDN'T MEAN LITERALLY #I WAS JokInG #my tics are acting up
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