Days passing by
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22nd January 2021
It has been days and quite a few months, since I have typed something so heartfuly. There are questions I don’t know answers of, and there are problems I am least aware about. While turning 19 gets me the responsibility of trying to stand up on my own feet, I try to hold on to previous lost instincts of childhood and understand…
0What’s the point of it all if it makes no difference. I’ll figure out something. My soul cares. Just gotta go with the flow.
0Sometimes when you are in a tough situation where every step you take feels like burden and you have too many choices.
Remember at that time
All you have to think is “what matters most and why?”
0PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT
DAY 3 JOURNAL
NICOLE H. MAGALLONES
Another day, another topic. Day 3 is about adolescence. As we grow, we face new challenges, new experiences. The levels of challenges are getting higher as our level in life is also getting higher. As we enter adolescence many changes will happen for examplr our physical appearance, our mindsets and many more.
This is the start where most of the people become insecure toward their physical appearance. Starts to compare to other people. Many questions inside our heads like “ Why I have so many pimples? Why am I short? Why I’m so fat? Am I worth it? What should I do to be like him/her?” this are the most common questions that we ask. Our developing stage, are sequencially, gradually, independently and holistically. Development happend in fixed sequence and influence by our genes and environment.
0I remember back in high school, the head of displicine once gave tips about studying during a school assembly. and she said that “whoever says they need to listen to music while studying is a liar. music is a distraction! you need complete silence to work!”
fast forward to today. I refuse to work without music in the background, or in discord vc with someone just talking their own shit.
I need white noise or I will lose even more focus
0[1.21] What a freakin day.
My bf woke up on the wrong side of the bed today, which threw off my whole morning. My work day was okay but between being rundown and hustling extra hard, my week has been exhausting. I am already dreading the tons of extra chores piled, in a mandatory fashion, to my weekend. With my son being sick and currently at his dads, I can disinfect his room, clean his sheets, etc.
When he got home from work, I don’t know if he was still in a mood or if I was but, shit hit the fan. I hate fighting with him, I feel super triggered fighting at all, especially in relationships. But when we fight, it’s usually not for a good reason, or sometimes seemingly no reason at all, and then escalates to an insaine level quickly.
Then he spent the night drinking beers and smoking cigarettes until he got sick. I know he’s been stressed lately about money and his car recently breaking down and the whole idea of social isolation and quarantine in general, but I don’t know how many times I can tell him he needs to watch his tone and the things he says to me. Often taking hits on my parenting or my ex, or ranting about how I don’t let him play his Xbox, or do “anything he likes to do,” it’s a long dark spiral to go down. Somehow tonight, it warped into a money fight, so that was fun. He’s sleeping now and it’s way past my bedtime. Today, I am thankful that tomorrow is a new day. 🌙
0Transactions of the Novgorod Association for Asteroids and Demonic Entomological Magickal Studies
0I kinda want to go to Florida no one would like me if they knew the things I say and thought. I wanna play golf. I hate stepping on eggshells.
0Noboday:
Me after edibles/few bong rips in: everything u do is so cringy and embarrassing u need to delete all the social media acct u own and disappear
Super!
0- 0
22 Jan 2021 ( Friday) - A Letter to Myself
Disappointment lingers, constant feel and urge to change and start anew.
0
I’m on a journal kick. This one was requested by my aunt as a bday gift for a cousin 😊😊😊
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