He’s fucking hot
He’s fucking hot
This man 🔥
He is so respectful
Jin: * robs entire Nintendo store * MARIIOOOOOOO
Suga: * deals swag enhancing drugs *
Jhope: WHAT DO YOU MEAN I SEXUALLY ASSAULTED SOMEONE?! I JUST HUGGED THEM BECAUSE THEY LOOKED SAD!!
[ poor hoseokie, he deserves justice! ]
Rapmon: vandalism?!? I just touched a window and it broke wtf.
Vkook: * hacks into white house defense system * * launched bombs to any other ships besides vkooks *
Jimin: * get away driver * JUNGKOOK JUST ASKED ME TO DRIVE HIM TO THE TOY STORE HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW THEY WERE ROBBING THE PLACE?!!!
BTS incorrect quotes again-
Thank you so much for all the love you guys are giving meh-
Namjoon: what's your life motto?
Hoseok: single and ready to mingle.
Yoongi: bi and ready to die.
[ pls yoongi is such a mood ]
Namjoon: cmon, yoongi! Nobody thinks jungkook is my son!
Yoongi: [ turns to the rest of the members ] put your hand up if you thought jungkook was namjoon's son
[ everyone put their hands up ]
Namjoon: jungkook, put your hand down!
Yoongi and Hoseok
[ screaming ]
Namjoon, running into the room: yoongi, what's wrong?!
Hoseok: why are you only asking him!? We're both screaming!
Namjoon: because yoongi doesn't scream unless it's an emergency. You on the other hand scream whenever you have the chance.
[ hjahahhjkshah I cant- ]
Yoongi: * wears a slightly lighter shade of black *
Taehyung: I see you're bursting out the spring colours.
Jungkookie: * accidentally RTs namjoon's fanarts *
[ bangtan group chat ]
seokie: I saw that.
Taehyungie: what happened
Kookie: ITNW WAS A MISTAKE DONT KILL ME
[ Kookie has left the chat ]
❣fifty: where you belong
Warnings: uuuhhh creepy dude?
Word count: 3k
After the new year, Y/n decided they should schedule more shows to build on the support they received on Twitter and at school after Hobi's addition to the group. She'd often scheduled performances for the D-Town Boyz in the past, and used those connections to get the band to play at clubs they'd never been to before. The Bulletproof boys were excited about performing more, and happy that having the rappers join them was bringing them more attention and more opportunities.
Bulletproof wasn't the only musical group working on new songs and seeking the stage. Namjoon and Yoongi had made the decision to go on performing without Hoseok. It was painful, especially for Namjoon, but both boys accepted that as a consequence of their actions. Their feelings for each other, which Yoongi had come to acknowledge, were complicating the process of writing, since they often found themselves distracted. Nonetheless so far things between them had been smooth since both boys had been sober and focused on bettering themselves and their relationship. However, as things for the kids continued to evolve in a positive direction for all, clearly not everyone was aware of the changes that had occurred, as they were soon to find out.
"What are you guys doing here?" Namjoon asks as he comes face-to-face with his sister backstage. For a moment he thinks perhaps she's come to support him but then he sees the boys behind her carrying in their equipment.
"We're here to play. What are you don't here?" Y/n replies, confusion written on her face. When she sees Yoongi arriving at her brother's side she's just as sure they're not here to support her either.
"There must be a mistake. The stage is ours tonight," Yoongi informs her and Hoseok, who has come to drape his arm around her shoulders as the other boys begin to gather.
"That's impossible. I booked it myself, weeks ago," she insists.
"Well, I… let's just go talk to the manager," Yoongi decides instead of uselessly discussing the issue further.
"Yeah, Y/n called to book two weeks ago," the manager confirms when they find him.
"Then why did you tell me we were good to go when I called last week?" Yoongi demands.
"I thought you were just calling to confirm. Y/n had always made hour bookings before. I assumed she was scheduling for you when she called."
"I specifically said it was for Bulletproof," Y/n groans, her fists clenching.
The man shrugs. "I was busy. I was only half listening."
"What are you going to do about it?" Y/n half yells at the man before Hoseok places a hand at the back of her neck, a gentle squeeze encouraging her to calm down.
"Our fans are out there," Namjoon tells her.
"And so are ours!" Jimin agrees, having taken a look as they went in search of the manager.
"One of you will have to give it up, work it out. I have things to attend to," the manager says, leaving quickly and ignoring Y/n's protests.
"You heard him. I called first. That stage is ours," Y/n says firmly to the Boyz.
"Yeah, but he didn't realize who you were booking for and who knows if he would have even given it to you if he had," Namjoon argues, earning a glare of Y/n.
"Guys, we don't have to do this. We can both perform tonight," Jin steps in to offer, placing his body slightly between the siblings.
"Both of us perform? To our combined fans. That's crazy," Yoongi scoffs.
"Actually, it isn't. A lot of your fans have come to enjoy our performances since Y/n and Hobi joined. I'm sure they wouldn't mind," Jin smiles.
Namjoon huffs. "We go first."
"No way," Tae interjects, opening up a barrage of unintelligible arguing between the two groups.
"Enough!" Yoongi yells, capturing everyone's attention as all eyes fall on him. "Heart will go first, followed by Bulletproof, closing with the Boyz. That should make everyone happy." Yoongi keeps his eyes focused on Y/n as he waits for an answer, not knowing what he expects.
"Good, you'll be like our opening act," Namjoon teases, receiving an eye roll and a mocking voice from his sister before she walks away, intent on getting the band set up.
"Are you okay, angel?" Hobi asks as they help their other members set up their equipment on stage.
"I'm fine," she mumbles, but he doesn't miss the way her hands are trembling as she adjusts the microphone stand.
"You're gonna be great, baby," Hoseok assures her, taking her hands in his own and kissing her fingers.
"But I didn't plan to perform as Heart tonight. What is Yoongi thinking? Is he trying to humiliate me?" Y/n hisses.
Hobi frowns and pulls her closer to stroke her cheek. "First of all, you won't be humiliated. Just do a couple of your songs and then the band will come out and we'll do our thing, and then you and I can perform our song. Does that sound like a plan?" Y/n considers for a moment but nods. "Good. And I actually think Yoongi was trying to be supportive. He gave you the most stage time. No matter what Namjoon says, you're the star of tonight. That's a pretty big concession from the Min Yoongi we know."
"I'm not sure that makes me feel better, but you're right. Why would he do that?" She wonders, catching a glimpse of the boy in question as he walks around backstage.
Hoseok shrugs. "It's the new him, I guess."
"Do you think it's genuine? Do you think he's really changing?" She whispers.
"I'm not sure. But I think so. The old yoongi never would have conceded any stage time to us. He'd still be holding a grudge for us leaving him. And he hasn't done or said anything awful recently. The opposite, in fact. Maybe he is changing."
"Do you think it's enough for him to be good for Joon?" She wonders, looking to the floor.
"I really can't say. I just hope…" Y/n lifts her eyes to meet his when he stops, encouraging him to complete his thought. "I just hope his decision earlier was because he's changed and he respects you, and not because he still has feelings for you."
"You hope that for Namjoon's sake or yours?" Y/n gives him the slightest smile but it isn't returned. His eyes shift to the side.
"I hope that for everyone's sake."
It's been two months since Y/n stood on stage all alone. The surprise in the crowd is palpable as she takes the stage, none of them having anticipated getting a special performance from Heart. Yet they seem happy with the unexpected appearance. By the time her songs are over and the Bulletproof boys are joining her on stage the crowd is already cheering.
As they play their first couple of songs, Y/n, Jin, Hoseok and even Yoongi scan the crowd and are surprised to see that the majority of the audience has stayed to listen. Only the most hardline Boyz fans wander off to have a smoke or a drink and wait for the performance they'd been promised. Most of the rest stick around, if for no other reason than to see just what it was J-Hope and Heart had gotten themselves into. Many are surprised to find how much they enjoy the music and the performance. None more so than Yoongi.
When their set ends, the punk boys quietly move off stage as the backing track for School yard comes over the speakers. Y/n looks over at Hobi, giving him a bashful smile and shaking her head. She can't believe they're about to perform a song they haven't practiced in forever. The writing of it had brought a new layer to their friendship and opened the door for their first kiss. It had, among so many others, changed her life for the better. She doesn't really need the practice when it's so etched into her being. They manage to get through the song in spite of the laughter that comes through in every verse.
When it's over, the next song comes on without giving them a moment to clear the stage. It's one they both know well though. A Cypher, in which J-Hope's verse comes first, and even as Rap Monster and Gloss enter the stage, it's his name the crowd chants. Hobi wonders for a moment if this is Yoongi's plan to get him to rejoin, but he doesn't have time to think about it right now. He doesn't want to disappoint the fans who have supported him, so when it comes he raps his verse without hesitation.
Y/n tries to keep her head held high, hoping not to let the confusion and pain she feels show on her face. As J-Hope begins she attempts to sneak around Yoongi and Namjoon to join the others backstage. Yoongi grabs her bicep gently to prevent her from leaving and steps close to her to talk in her ear.
"Stay. I've added room in the track for another verse. Your verse."
"Yoongi, I don't-"
He shakes his head slightly at her. "I know you have one. If you can remember it, do it. If you can't," he shrugs, "then freestyle it. You're good and here with us is where you belong. I won't deny it anymore."
"Yoongi…" she sighs, but he lets go of her arm and turns his attention back to the others. She can leave if she wants to, and part of her thinks she should. He had no right to spring this on her. She's not prepared and she feels again for a moment that maybe he's trying to embarrass her, but even just thinking it to herself she knows that doesn't feel right. There was a sincerity in his voice that even she believes, even after all this time and all he's done. She wants to believe that he's giving her the chance he wouldn't before. She takes one last look to the wings to see her punk boys standing in the dark, each of them giving her encouraging smiles, none of them brighter than Jin, who gives her a nod, telling her to go on. She turns back to the Boyz on stage and joins them in hyping up Namjoon. To her surprise she remembers the verse she once wrote for this song, when being on this stage with the three of them was what she wanted most in the world.
When it ends, she hugs Namjoon and then Yoongi, and when an unknown track begins Hobi and Y/n know it's finally their queue to leave. They rush off into the eagerly waiting arms of Jin, who assures them how well they did, and enjoy the rest of the show.
Since they'd rushed the stage, Bulletproof had to wait until the D-Town Boyz were finished to retrieve their instruments and equipment. As they pack up, most of the younger crowd moves on, to parties or other places to carry on their night while the older members of the audience move toward the bar or to others.
"Where are you guys headed after this?" Hobi asks Namjoon as he lingers nearby at the fringes of the stage while the others move around. He knows that in the old days they'd be going to some party afterward, that Namjoon would already be getting on his way toward drunkenness. When he thinks about it, he couldn't be more happy knowing that his only plan is to go back to Jin's house with his two sweethearts and maybe settle down with a movie or play games with the boys.
"Just home for us," Namjoon replies nervously, sure that he knows what Hobi is assuming of him. He can't blame his old friend. He might not remember most of it but he at least knows he has a track record.
Hoseok pauses what he's doing to look up at Namjoon. He doesn't mean for his surprise to be insulting but he's sure it's etched across his face. "Home? On a Saturday night?" He chuckles.
"I know it's hard to believe. But Yoongi and I are both really trying. I haven't drank at all since that night you brought me home," Namjoon tells him quietly.
That doesn't stop Y/n from hearing and giving him a proud smile as she walks by carrying Jungkook's guitar case. As she walks down the narrow hallway connecting the stage to the room in the back she offers the same smile to Yoongi, who looks back at her, stunned to receive her joy. He watches her as she walks through the room and out the back door to the alley where Jungkook's mom's van is waiting. She'd practically made Jin sign a contract in blood, promising to bring her vehicle and her child back unharmed, which he'd never failed to do.
The alley is illuminated by one bright yellow light from a telephone pole at one end. She's surprised, though not really, to find that Taehyung isn't waiting in the alley to watch over the van, as he was supposed to be. As she slides the guitar case into the back, she hears the crunch of gravel underfoot and assumes it's one of the other boys bringing out equipment to load into the van, so she's shocked to find herself face to face with a man she doesn't know. He appears to be in his mid-twenties, tall, and by the looks of it slightly intoxicated. That's no excuse for the way his eyes rake her body up and down.
"You're Heart, right?" The man asks as he takes a step closer. Y/n takes a step to the side, a foot closer to the door to the club.
"Yes," she says, her voice breathier than she intended.
"You were great tonight," the stranger compliments, and they each take another step. She doesn't say thank you, although she thinks she should, she can’t seem to find the word. "I heard a rumor that you have two boyfriends," he continues.
Y/n wants to roll her eyes. If this were a kid from school she'd tell them off, tell them to get a life and leave her alone, but this feels different to her. She's clear of the back of the van now and takes a step backward toward the door, never turning her back on him. "It's true. They'll be out here any second if you want to meet them," she says loudly, hoping her voice will carry into the back room.
"No, sweetheart. You're the one I want to get to know," he drawls. "Bet a girl with two men already knows lots of things, but I'm sure I could still teach you something." He takes a bigger step toward her now as she shuffles backwards. She's not quick enough to get out of his reach and he manages to grab her wrist.
"Let go of me!" she yells as she attempts to yank free, but his grip is too strong, hurting her as he tightens, pulling her closer to him.
"Don't bother playing hard to get when everyone knows you're easy," the man snarls.
"Let go," she cries again, hitting his chest with her other fist in a feeble attempt to fight him off.
"She said let go!" Yoongi shouts as he barrells out the back door and quickly takes in the situation.
"You must be one of the boyfriends," the man sneers, not loosening his grip at all as he stares down at Y/n.
"No, but I'm sure they won't mind me doing this for them," Yoongi says as he steps closer and Y/n moves to the side to make room for what she knows is coming next. Yoongi steps in and his fist lands hard on the side of the man's face, causing him to finally release Y/n's wrist as he falls to the ground.
"You're gonna regret that!" The man yells, getting to his feet just as Namjoon and the Bulletproof boys rush out into the alley. Y/n turns immediately into Jin's chest to be sheltered in his arms, and Hoseok puts his body in front of her, unsure what's happening but aware enough that she needs a shield. The stranger raises his fist to strike Yoongi, but the smaller boy catches it and delivers a blow to the man's stomach instead.
"Leave while you still can," Yoongi threatens him as the man clutches his gut. Namjoon steps forward toward the man, but Yoongi puts his arm out to stop him. He's already stumbling away, making the wise decision not to face off against Y/n's seven protectors.
Hoseok's fierce expression softens only slightly as he turns to look at Y/n. "Did he hurt you?"
She shakes her head even though it isn't exactly true. "He just grabbed my wrist," she demonstrates, holding her hand up, and he can see it's red, likely to bruise.
"Oh, angel," he sighs sadly, taking her hand as gently as possible and kissing her skin lightly.
"I'm okay. He could've done worse if not for Yoongi," she tells them, peering around Hobi to see her hero.
Yoongi shrugs. "That guy was a creep. Would've been nice to beat the shit out of him, actually. You should be more careful next time, Y/n." Yoongi crosses his arms over his chest as Namjoon drapes his over Yoongi's shoulders and pulls him closer, adding a whispered 'thank you' and a kiss to the side of Yoongi's head.
Jin reaches out an arm to smack the back of Taehyung's head. "And where were you! You were supposed to be out here keeping an eye on things!"
"I had to go to the bathroom! Jeez! You'd rather I be attacked?" Tae cries.
"You know I hate to say this, but Y/n is a girl and she's more vulnerable than you and she shouldn't be in a dark alley all by herself," Jin explains in frustration and fear.
"Jinnie," she frowns. "You told me I was tough."
He smiles gently at her and cups her cheeks. "I did. And you are. But men are evil and we shouldn't take chances."
"Fuck the patriarchy?" she pouts.
Jin smiles wider and pulls her into his chest. "Absolutely."
Hoseok touches Jin's head fondly before he turns to Yoongi and Namjoon. "I know you guys were going to go home, but do you want to come with us to get something to eat? My treat."
Taglist is still open!! [ask or comment to be added]: @burningupp-replies @halesandy @jikooksgirl19 @lilacdreams-00 @loveyoongles @yoongiofmine @thequeen-kat @renhold-nightspear @xxlovingfandomsxx @disregard-thefootsteps @taeshuworld @abc-abc1234-a @becomingbts @xianav @kim-jias-den @deleteidentity @r4yih @somelazysundays @hobizi @secretlycrazyhummingbird @lyra0cassiopeia @ventusnonexpectat @theestrangeddreamer @softychimseok @binniebutter @betysotelo18 @thealmightyzah @joyfullyobsessed @twilight-loveer
Genre : Arranged Marriage AU! Angst! Explicit Sexual Content.
Rating : 21+
Warnings : Ableism , Chronic disability. OC has limited use of her left leg, Emotional infidelity? Mild Cheating ( nothing very physical.. a kiss or so )
Summary : Marrying Jungkook is a mistake. Falling in love with him? Definitely the worst exercise in masochism .
No one tells you how easy it is to imagine yourself in love with a beautiful man. Especially when you don’t have a clear understanding of what love actually is.
When I met Jungkook, even knowing he was in love with my sister hadn’t done much to douse the flames of hope and attraction. He was a lot of things that other men in my life weren’t. Kind without being pitying. Concerned without being overbearing. He took care of me without making me feel helpless. And there was always such a thin line between these things that I found myself impressed by his ability to toe the line so well.
Jungkook took care of me without making me feel like a burden and I suppose, some part of me had assumed that this could, in due time turn into love. But I was clearly wrong.
Jungkook and Liza had been kissing in the hallway of their hotel room and someone had taken pictures. My father and his had managed to get them taken down but the news was already out, spreading like wildfire . My phone began ringing sometime around eight in the morning and hadn’t stopped. It was now a little past one in the afternoon and I felt queasy, despite the assurances that it was all being taken care of.
It was the pity in everyone’s face that I couldn’t bear.
I wasn’t hurt. Angry, yes? Upset? Of course. But I wasn’t hurt because there really was nothing to be hurt about. Jungkook didn’t love me. He was in love with my sister . He had made it clear, through his words and his actions, over and over again. At this point, I could see this debacle as nothing more than a possible way to get out of the marriage. Perhaps, my father would approve of a divorce?
I glanced at the article again.
The photo is just so annoyingly clear, I thought with a grimace. If it was a little blurry, I could convince myself it wasn’t him and her. But it was clear. That was my husband with his lips locked with my sister’s. Against my better judgment, I read the article again. It was a gossip column, of course there would be nothing good in there. But sometimes curiosity can be a persistent thing.
I felt my skin crawling as I realized that the phrases were all pretty true. There was no gossip here. Just plain facts.
And then my eyes reached the end of the article.
Of note is the fact that Jeon Jungkook’s wife is disabled and perhaps the virile young man is merely looking for pleasure he can’t find in his own marital bed.
I swallowed, quickly exiting the page and tossing the phone on the bed, away from me. I stared out of the window of our bedroom, the large doors left open to let air and sunlight in. There was a tall sycamore tree right outside out bedroom and the branches almost reached in and I stared at the rustling leaves, trying to scrub my mind clean of the words I’d just read.
But it was impossible.
It wasn’t something I hadn’t thought of. The stark difference between me and Jungkook, physically. He spent five days a week in the gym and they were right. He was a young man with healthy sexual appetites.
I’d never cheat on you. Jungkook’s voice from a week ago still echoed somewhere inside my skull.
I sighed, playing with my wedding ring.
I wasn’t a virgin when I married Jungkook. Hadn’t been one , when I got into the accident either. My then boyfriend, a tall strapping lit major had been a very sexual guy as well and our libidos had matched pretty well. But I’d been an athletic nineteen year old, able to bend like a pretzel at his whim and there was just endless time and endless stamina and just a whole lot of attraction . We had spent hours, exploring each other the way college kids do. Weekends in bed spent trying every possible permutation of sex positions and kinks and I’d discovered all the things I liked. All the things I didn’t.
But then the accident had happened and well, when you’re in crippling agony, sometimes sex takes the backseat. I’d been focused on my recovery, on making sure that I came out of this at least with the ability to walk and I’d succeeded. Burying the part of me that craved a man’s touch, it wasn’t easy but it was necessary.
And then Jungkook had happened.
Sex with Jungkook hadn’t been difficult. Not really. I wasn’t completely crippled after all but it was also nowhere near as exciting as it could be with someone who had full use of her legs. I knew that. It was kind of obvious. But I hadn’t dwelt too much on it because to be honest, Jungkook hadn’t looked like he’d minded. He had seemed to enjoy himself .
But then reading about how he probably hadn’t enjoyed it definitely stung.
Worse yet, probably half the country was reading it with me. I felt nauseous. Did no one think that they should have left the last part out of that article? It was terrible enough without adding that bit about me.
A faint buzzing made me turn to the bed.
I glanced at my phone as it rang, my father in law’s name prominent on the screen.
Showtime, I thought with a grimace.
“I suppose it was too much to hope for , expecting that boy to keep his dignity. This is outrageous.” Mr. Jeon’s loud voice rang through the foyer of the house and I flinched, gripping the edge of the futon as Sana jumped a bit . She sat next to me, holding my hand carefully. Moral support I supposed but I was feeling entirely too blasé about the whole thing. None of this was unexpected, I thought miserably and I wasn’t feeling up to pretending otherwise.
“I still wish they’d talked to me about this.”
My brother in law’s voice broke me out of my thoughts. The man looked like he’d been dragged through hell and back and I felt a pang of genuine sympathy. He looked wrecked and it was obvious she was in love with my sister. Resentment coiled thick and deep inside me. Resentment and envy.
With no effort at all she had charmed both the Jeon brothers, I thought bitterly.
Jeon Jihyun looked absolutely stricken at the thought of losing his wife.
“I’ve asked Lisa to take the first flight out. She called me this morning, hysterical. It was something done in the heat of the moment. She .. She’s very apologetic. I believe her and I’m willing to forgive her. We’re…. We’re thinking of starting a family together. ” He said softly and my stomach turned.
I felt my skin go ice cold as I wrapped my arms around myself. Shivering just a bit, I lightly squeezed Sana’s hand. She looked at me in askance and I had to swallow to get my voice out, throat dry. The words made me want to retch. I could imagine how Jungkook would take this news.
“Can you get me my shawl? It’s in the green room.” I said hoarsely. She bowed before moving away from me and when I looked back up, Jihyun’s gaze caught mine.
“This must be hard on you.” He said softly and I flushed, staring down at my knees.
“Not like I can run from it. Literally or figuratively.” I smiled without mirth.
“Jungkook is …he’s just confused. He needs some time to sort himself out. I’ve asked him to take a break and come back to Seoul after a couple of weeks. The separation would do him some good.” Jihyun said quietly and I sighed before nodding. What else was I supposed to say to that anyway? There wasn’t much I could do, my influence on things almost nonexistent at this point.
“Are you going to give the boy a break, Jeon?” My father demanded, staring at Jungkook’s father who sighed.
“Yes. I’ve been trying to get these damned reporters off our back. They’re all over the place. And yes, I think Jungkook should stay in Japan for a while. We’re starting a new distribution branch there and I wanted him to scout places and possible vendors. I’ll tell him to hash out all the details before coming back.”
His phone rang again and he excused himself . I watched him leave the room, trying to make sense of his words.
How long would it take to build a whole branch in Japan? I had no clue. But it could hardly be done in a few weeks, could it?
“That’s.. That’s a long time.” I said hesitantly and my father frowned.
“is that a problem?” he asked.
I sighed. There was no point keeping this to myself. I was supposed to go to the doctor’s tomorrow. And well, it would be better if they heard it from me first.
“I.. I’m pregnant.” I said quietly.
The silence that followed was deafening. I stared at the carpet, not able to bring myself to look up at them. I could guess, what I’d find there. It was what I always found in people’s faces.
“Oh, sweet child.” My father’s sigh made me look up and there it was. The pity. I felt sick to my stomach. Sana returned, settling the hand knit shawl over my shoulders and I wrapped it tight, before glancing at her in some desperation. She smiled reassuringly, settling next to me and gently taking my fingers in hers. The warmth grounded me for a second and when Jihyun growled, I stared at him.
“I… I didn’t know. Fuck, I’m going to kill Jungkook. This fucker…” Jihyung swore and my father sighed, clearly thinking hard.
“you can’t be staying alone now.” He said softly, sitting up and cracking his knuckles, and I swallowed. I wouldn’t bear it if they tried to take me back home. I had hated it there.
“ You must come back home with me.” He said softly but I quickly shook my head.
“ No.. No I won’t. I … Please.” I begged, the mere idea of going back to my childhood home a nightmare. My mother would kill me with just her sharp and vindictive words. I was in no shape to put up with her verbal and emotional abuse. It was one of the things that had made me agree to marry Jungkook in the first place.
“Well, you can’t stay here by yourself.” My father protested. I’ve been by myself my whole damn life, I wanted to scream.
“I’ll be fine. I have Sana and the others to help me.” I said tiredly. My father shook his head before turning to Jihyun again.
“Is Namjoon still working on his book?” My father asked him and Jihyun frowned. The name elicited a tug in my memory and I turned to stare at my father, confused.
“You remember him? He used to tutor you when you were hi High School.”
I had a brief flashback to dimples and almond shaped eyes. I remembered him vaguely. Very vaguely. But nowhere well enough to want him to live with me, alone or not.
“Dad…” I protested but he held a hand up to silence me, nodding at Jihyun .
“Namjoon? Kim Namjoon? ” He shook his head. “ I’m not sure. Why?”
“I think it would be good if he moves in here. His father was telling me that he was looking for a place to stay, now that he’s moved back to Korea. ” My father said softly, staring at me and I stiffened.
“Father…” I began desperately and my father shook his head.
“Don’t argue. He was a dear friend of yours. I don’t think you should be alone at a time like this. And I think Jungkook would approve. Like Jihyun said, the kid needs some space to sort himself out. Let him finish whatever business is going on in Japan.” My father glanced at Mr. Jeon who looked at me with guilt.
“I owe you an apology , on behalf of my idiot son.”
I looked away, not sure what to say to that. I hated the man quite passionately. Jungkook wasn’t perfect… far from it. But this man had taken a sledgehammer to my husband’s mind and heart at every turn. The disdain, the condescension, the sick way he favored his brother over him, the way nothing Jungkook did was ever good enough. It had all taken a toll on my husband. I had watched it chip away at Jungkook’s self confidence, at his mental health.
“I think more than anything, you owe an apology to your son. You knew he was in love with Lisa and yet…. You forced him to marry me.” I said quietly and the room went eerily quiet. My father rounded on me , eyes blazing.
“Leah!!! Apologize, now!” He roared and I looked away.
“You’re all the same. Ungrateful and entitled.” Mr. Jeon said sharply, before turning to his son. “ I’m leaving Jihyun-ah. Tell me when that wife of yours get home. I want to talk to her.”
He shared a half hug with my father before stalking off and my father grabbed his jacket as well.
“I’ll leave as well. Your mother is being quite hysterical. Apparently, all her friends are hounding her about the article.” He sighed and I nodded , watching him shrug on the jacket before nodding at Jihyun and then following his friend out to the front doors.
Jihyun stayed standing , watching my father’s form disappear through the door before turning to me.
“ Are you alright?” He said quietly, moving to kneel in front of me. Sana stood up, bowing before leaving and I watched her disappear into the hallway leading to the kitchens. Jihyun’s fingers wrapped around mine, brushing my knees and I stared down at him.
“The question is, are you alright?” I brushed the hair off his face. He sighed.
“No. No I’m not. I’m angry and jealous and very much filled with resentment towards my brother.” He said honestly and I laughed, tugging on his hand and patting the seat next to me. He straightened before moving to settle next to me and I leaned on his shoulders, sighing as he wrapped on around me, the warmth of his body comforting .
“Are you going to give your marriage a chance?” I asked carefully.
“She told me she was going to break things off for good. We.. We’ve been talking about it. Starting a family, making this work.” He said quietly. I nodded. It was understandable. Unlike Jungkook and I , Jihyun had a responsibility. He would need a son and even though people liked to act like they didn’t care much about gender, like they didn’t care much about having children , it was sort of an unspoken rule. First son of the house ? You had to have a male heir to carry the family name.
I wondered how that conversation had gone between Jungkook and Lisa. It didn’t really match the photo I’d seen.
“I suppose Jungkook probably put up a fight. He genuinely wants to end up with her. He… He tells me often that he loves her and can’t love anyone else. ” I wondered if I ought to feel embarrassed or insulted.
But the truth was, I was numb to a lot of things that had once hurt quite a lot..
The conversation with Jungkook about my pregnancy had definitely cleared things up for me. There was nothing there worth salvaging. Chasing something that wasn’t real , that was foolishness. Especially when I had a very real baby to think about. A child that counted on me to make the right choices.
“I don’t think he did. She spoke to me last night and said that he agreed. Of course that was before the article came out. I’d like to think she didn’t lie to me but I’m not sure.”
I sighed, settling in closer to his chest. He was warm and firm, solid and reliable. I wondered if it would have been easier, if my father had just married me off to Jihyun instead. Jihyun and I …we were alike. We had been friends , even from childhood. Had watched with fond adoration as our younger siblings had fallen madly, wildly in love. Jungkook and Liza had been drawn to each other from the first. Inevitable.
Jihyun and I were more carefree. We didn’t feel things that intensely and perhaps that was why we could sit here in the calm of the afternoon air, quiet and introspective when we ought to be furious and raging.
“ Should we run off together? You and i?” He said suddenly making me laugh.
“Very much incapable of running.” I reminded him with a grin and he squeezed my shoulder .
“I’d carry you.” He said simply.
“Where would we go?” I asked curiously, indulging the fantasy for just a few minutes.
“Somewhere far away. Maybe India? There’s so many people there and we could get lost in the crowds.”
“That does sound appealing.” I smiled and turned to look up at him. His face inches from mine, not as handsome as Jungkook but strong featured and kind. “ But I’m not alone anymore. I have a child.”
His gaze dipped to my lap.
“Yes. Jungkook’s child.” He said thoughtfully.
“No. Mine. Nobody else’s . Just mine.” I said quietly. Jihyun’s gaze softened. He pressed a quick kiss to the top of my head.
“I’m sorry.” He whispered, echoing his father’s words.” On behalf of my idiot brother, I’m sorry.”
And where Mr. Jeon’s words hadn’t made any sort of impact, Jihyun’s made my heart clench and ache in the worst way. Self pity was something I loathed but sometimes, being handed the short end of the stick at every turn in life makes it impossible to not feel sorry for yourself.
Tears stung, welling up in my eyes and spilling over my lashes like water bubbling out of an aquifer.
I blinked slowly, not bothering to wipe them as they traced a path down my face, dripping into the fabric of my shawl. In a moment of clarity I wondered what Jungkook must be going through now. Nothing good for sure.
It definitely said something, that I still worried for him. Sighing, I let Jihyun hug me closer. I would take advantage of his kindness for a few more minutes. It had been a while since someone had held me like I mattered.
I called Jungkook that evening.
It wasn’t an easy choice but my heart ached and my mind raced with unanswered questions. I didn’t want to get lost in my own thoughts so I didn’t overthink it. We were still married. I was allowed to call him.
He picked up on the third ring.
“Where are you?” I asked quietly and Jungkook’s groan made my face heat up a little.
“I… Leah?” He sounded groggy. I glanced at the time. It wasn’t late.
“Are you sleeping?”
He didn’t reply for a few minutes.
“I’m sorry about what happened. We.. We didn’t do anything else. It was just.. it was a kiss. Just that.”
“Are you still in the hotel?” I asked quietly ignoring his words.
“ For tonight, yes. Dad wants me to stay with a friend of his. I’ll be going over to their place tomorrow morning.” He replied .
Silence followed for a few seconds.
“Namjoon is moving in tomorrow.” I said stiffly.
Jungkook didn’t respond for a minute or so.
“Yes. Father said it’s a good idea. And I agree. You shouldn’t be alone while I’m here. He’s right. Hyung’s a nice guy. He’ll help you out.” Jungkook said softly.
“Liza came home. She wanted to talk to me.” I said quietly.
Jungkook didn’t reply and I sighed.
“I told her I wasn’t going to talk to her before I talked to you. I don’t… I don’t want to say anything to her that I haven’t already said before. But I still want to know your thoughts on all this. Your plans, that is. I take it you weren’t happy with her ending things.” I said stiltedly.
Jungkook didn’t reply for a few seconds.
“Things between us ended a long time ago, Leah. It was over when we both agreed to marry other people. Maybe even before that, I don’t know… I … I guess I just didn’t want to acknowledge them.” He said quietly. “ She’s different, now. Even that kiss felt so wrong. She’s moving on. I’m glad in a way. She deserves better than me. She deserves someone like hyung. He’s better than me in everyway and-”
God I wanted to strangle him.
“So why did you kiss her?” I snapped. “ If you’re so generously letting her go why would you…” I stopped.
“I didn’t kiss her. She kissed me. It was barely for a second.” He muttered. “ whoever it was must’ve been videoing us for a while.”
I had to remind myself that in the grand scheme of things, this little detail made no difference.
“Right.” I sighed. “ So, you won’t be home for a while?”
“Six weeks at least.” He said quietly.
I tried to keep the disappointment down. I still wanted to see him, just to make sure he was okay. But I knew that was just the pregnancy hormones talking.
“Okay.” I said simply.
“How are you? Did you go see the doctor?” He asked softly and the question surprised me. I was half sure he had forgotten.
“No, not yet. Maybe in a couple of days.” I scratched at a small stain on my skirt. Lime juice and baking soda, I thought absently. That should get the stain out.
“Its pretty late. You should go see the doctor, Leah. I.. I looked stuff up. They say you have to be on pre natal vitamins, folic acid and iron supplements and you have to have a balanced diet. I called Sana earlier and told her to speak to our doctor and get a diet chart for you. She said she’ll do it soon. So , please take care of yourself.”
Jungkook sounded entirely serious and as always my brain felt muddled, unable to process why he did the things he did. He had looked things up about the pregnancy and that implied some sort of interest, didn’t it? But ….. he had also kissed my sister so what was I supposed to do with this?
“I’ll call you.” I said shakily, drained. I was done for the day.
“Right.” He said softly. “ Namjoon hyung will be there tomorrow right? Should I talk to him? He could take you to the doctor.”
“No.. That’s fine. I’ll manage.” I said quickly.
“You’re sure?” There was genuine worry there.
“Yes.” I sighed.
Silence again. I exhaled shakily.
“Should I hang up?” I asked quietly.
“Yeah. Good night. ” He breathed.
“Good night, Jungkook.”
I stared at the wall, gently lowering the phone and placing it on the bed next to me.
She deserves better than me, his voice echoed in my head.
Well, so did I.
Namjoon looked nothing like the twenty one year old college student I’d seen a decade ago. I knew he was a successful novelist and I’d read all his books. They were mostly philosophical or commentaries on life and emotions. I enjoyed the way he wrote : melancholic and deep but also clear and easy to understand. It was like staring at a particularly deep pool, being able to see all the way down to the bottom because of how clean the waters were. But once you put your feet in, the depth always surprised you.
“That’s a lot of books.” I laughed, gripping the edge of the door frame as I watched him stumble under the weight of a crate full of bound books. Namjoon’s messy brown hair peeked over the top, and when he adjusted the huge load to stare at me, I caught sight of his handsome face stretched in a dimpled grin, eyes glinting.
“Research.” He grunted, straightening himself up and I watched the flex of his muscles as he carefully moved to place the crate down in one corner of the large bedroom that I’d had cleaned for him. It was on the west wing of the house, parallel to my own bedroom that I shared with Jungkook . Namjoon had spent three years working as a professor somewhere in Indonesia. And I knew that he’d spent a year backpacking all over Scandinavia. I stared at his tall strapping figure, watching him set up his writing space carefully, sorting out boxes and electronics.
He had driven here in his Range Rover and I knew all his clothes were still there in the back of the car.
“Should I ask the footmen to get your clothes?” I asked and he glanced up at me, frowning.
“Footmen?” He looked confused and I rolled my eyes.
“Namjoon…” I said chidingly and he grinned again.
“I keep forgetting you’re filthy rich. Makes me wish I should have beaten Jungkook to the game and bagged myself a rich wife.” He winked. It was a joke but there was no mistaking the hint of interest in his eye. Or maybe it was just wishful thinking on my part. Being married to Jungkook had definitely made me question the attraction I held for men so it felt good, having someone as handsome and whole and successful as Namjoon look at me like that.
“I’ll ask them to get your clothes. You should shower and settle in. We’ll meet for dinner tonight.” I said quickly and he nodded.
“You’re going to be okay heading back to your room? Let me know if you need help.” He pointed at my feet and I nodded. It was sweet of him to offer.
Dinner was surprisingly not awkward at all. Namjoon had a lot of interesting stories to share and I found myself clinging to ever word in rapt attention. He spoke about all the folklore he’d run into in different places, how he thought that no matter the culture, there were always some common things you could find in every one of them. He also talked a little about his next book, which he hadn’t named yet.
“It’s about second chances. Forgiving and moving on.” He said, taking another bite of his braised pork and moving to make another lettuce wrap.
“ Heavy stuff.” I said thoughtfully. “ Most of my writing is commercial. I just try to sell stuff to reluctant people. It’s not much but it keeps me occupied and it’s always nice to make money that you can call your own.”
“It’s because you don’t write for yourself. When you start writing for yourself, you can truly be who you are.” He said firmly and I nodded in agreement.
My writing in college had been vivid and bright and filled with life. But after the accident, it had turned grey and gloomy. The words seemed to drip with loss and longing and I didn’t enjoy it, because it was a reminder that I was no longer the vibrant, attractive fulsome girl I once was.
“Maybe that’s what I’m afraid of.” I smiled. “ Being who I am. I would rather pretend I’m at least a little alright.”
Namjoon stared at me, thoughtful.
“You used to run track.” He said softly and I grinned.
“You remember.” I said, pleased.
“Of course I do and you were captain of the volleyball team as well. You used to organize all those hikes and treks and stuff.”
“Yes I did. I loved the outdoors.” I stared out of the window.
“Loved? Past tense?” He tilted his head. I stared at him, shaking my head.
“What kind of question is that.” I shook my head. “ Look at me. I’m not trekking anytime soon, considering how the last time ended.”
“You can still go out.” He frowned. “ When was the last time you went somewhere?”
I shook my head.
“Listen. You know me. You’ve known me for more than a decade. Do you honestly think I’m going to let you rattle around this old house like a ghost when you should be out there taking in all the sunshine you can get?” Namjoon placed his chopsticks down and linked his fingers together, staring at me.
I stared at him, and it was definitely there. The concern, the affection. Not that different from when I was sixteen and struggling to understand what pathos meant.
But now there was a definite undercurrent of attraction. Back then it had been childish, the wild crush of a teenager on her hot tutor but now, now I knew that he was so much more than just a hot guy.
“I’m pregnant.” I said softly, more a reminder to myself than anything else.
“We’ll steer clear of horse riding and alcohol. Anything else you can just let me know.”
“Are you serious?”
“As a heart attack.”
“I think I’m getting one now.” I deadpanned.
“Because you’re nervous.” He grinned.
“Because your dimples look too adorable.” I retorted.
“I’ll talk to Jihyun and we’ll go see your doctor first. Then we’ll go out and have a nice picnic.”
“Namjoon, I can’t…”
“You don’t know that.” He said firmly.” You don’t know if you can or can’t because you’ve never tried. Listen I love picnics and I love going out and I want company. I’m agreeing to be stuck with you for a while and the least you can do is give me company at a picnic. You know how big a loser I’d seem like if I went by myself?”
It was like I was sixteen again getting brow beaten into things by a tutor who just hated the idea of not getting his way. I shook my head fondly.
Fourteen weeks. Three and a half months.
I stared at the ultrasound, feeling a multitude of things, not all of them good. The baby was growing well and I had all my prescriptions filled. Namjoon had offered to come with me but I had refused. It was too intimate and he was still a stranger. I did take a photo of the ultrasound and sent it to Jungkook.
/Jungkook called me back almost at once.
“You went to the doctor?” He asked, sounding a little breathless.
“Were you running?” I asked, surprised.
“Not really. I’m supposed to be meeting one of the vendors for lunch and I thought I could walk to the restaurant but its farther than I thought.” He huffed.
“Everything’s fine. Baby’s due in July.” I said quietly.
“Summer. That’s good.” He replied. “Right?”
I hesitated. What did that mean? What did it matter when the baby would be born?
“Because winter would mean it being too cold . Summer we can take the baby out and stuff without worrying too much.” Jungkook said softly.
“How’s work?” I asked awkwardly. The non conversation was getting tedious. There was just so much to talk about and it was obvious that both of us weren’t in the mood to actually ask or answer anything worthwhile.
“Did dad say something?” Jungkook asked quickly and I frowned.
“He wants me to join hyung in the corporate office. Leave the smelter units.” Jungkook sounded subdued and upset and I felt sympathy well inside me.
“Join him? As what?” I asked quietly.
“Head of the marketing department. I’ll be reporting to Seokjin hyung.” Jungkook had clearly started walking again, breath coming in little exhales.
“You don’t want it?” I asked confused, not sure if this was a good or bad thing.
“I mean… I have a degree in Business and Finance. Hyung’s the CEO , I was hoping I’d be the CFO.” Jungkook sighed, “ But I suppose I should be grateful he didn’t disown me altogether after what happened earlier.”
I stayed quiet and so did he.
“We need to talk . When you get back. You … I know you don’t like sharing about what you feel but you owe me an explanation.” I said firmly.
“I know. But I meant what I said when I left. I’m going to be there for you and the baby. You’re still my wife. That’s not going to change.”
I ran my fingers over the ultrasound.
“Did you also mean the part where you said you can’t stand me.” I said bitterly .
Jungkook didn’t reply.
“I… You know I didn’t. That was just something I said on impulse. I’m sorry. You’re… You’ve been nothing but good to me. And honestly, just the fact that you’re carrying my child is proof that I can definitely stand you.” He sounded just a little hoarse.
I bit my lips, staring up at the door when I heard a knock.
“Leah? I’m going to have some tea in the garden … You wanna come with?” Namjoon’s voice rang through the room and I froze.
“Oh.. Oh.. yes. I’ll be down.” I said quickly, nodding . Namjoon pointed at the phone and gave to thumbs up before moving back out.
“Was that Namjoon hyung?” Jungkook’s voice came over the line.
“Oh… yeah. Yeah, he’s… he wants me to have tea with him in the gardens.” I said awkwardly.
“That’s nice. You should go. Get out of the house once in a while.” I didn’t know what to say to that so I stayed quiet.
After another minute or so of silence, Jungkook cleared his throat.
“ I got that form you sent in for me to fill, about my medical history. I’ll fill it up and mail it to the doctor’s office. Is that alright?” He asked hesitantly. “ If not I can fly back home. If they need me in person or something.”
I frowned a bit.
“They don’t need you in person, Jungkook of course not. Mail it, that’s fine.”
“This is really happening huh? A baby. We’re having a baby.” The exhaustion in his voice was palpable and I wondered.
“Yes. We are.” I said simply, not having anything else to elaborate on. It was happening. I was torn between pleasure at having something to look forward to and guilt at forcing Jungkook into a role he wasn’t ready for. But , for better or for worse we were married. The child was his. It would be a Jeon.
“ I’ll do better.” He said quietly. “ With the little one. I’ll be better.”
Tears these days, sprung up out of nowhere I thought miserably, furiously swiping at my face.
“Leah?” His voice came over the line. “ Leah are you there?”
“I need to go.”
“Take care of yourself too, Jungkook.”
It’s such an odd sort of feeling. Sometimes you get used to it so much, that you forget all about it.
It stays , a part of you that doesn’t make much of an impression on you until one day, suddenly it becomes unbearable,
Until you get a glimpse of what it’s like to not be lonely.
And then suddenly it’s like a deep chasm of longing and desperation just opens up inside you, craving love and warmth and company with a hunger that feels like it can never ever be satisfied.
I’d never paid much mind to the fact that my life revolved around myself, my writing and the flowers in the garden. Not until Namjoon had come, demanding to be felt and seen and heard .
Namjoon hadn’t joked about not letting me rattle around the house. Our days were spent sprawled on the lawns of the Jeon estate, each of us occupied with our own writing . Namjoon typed away on his laptop while I preferred my leather bound notebook. It was oddly soothing, lying there on the clean cut grass, the sharp blades rubbing against my bare legs, as I leaned back against a tree trunk, watching Namjoon’s furrowed brows as he wrote.
Namjoon had changed in a lot of ways and yet he was still somehow just as I remembered, focused and often lost in his own head. He was a contemplative man and seemed to spend as much time reading as he did writing.
“There’s a poetry club that meets every Tuesday in Gangnam. Would you like to come with me?” He asked casually, about a week after he’d moved in and I considered it. The paparazzi had finally stopped hanging about the estate and Jungkook had called the previous night with a ETA for when he would be back.
Four weeks at most, he had said firmly and I wasn’t sure if I was feeling all that excited for his return anymore. Days spent with Namjoon were more exciting. He included me in every little thing and I was addicted.
Somewhere in the back of my mind, I knew this was probably wrong. Namjoon was sweet and kind but I was still married. But on the wake of that thought came the bitter reminder that there was nothing between Jungkook and I. He was in love with someone else. Why should I deny myself the joy of Namjoon’s company over a relationship that really wasn’t a relationship at all.
Namjoon treated me as an equal, teased and flirted like there was nothing wrong with the two of us living like this, together and away from the rest of the world and I liked it. It made me feel like perhaps happiness wasn’t such an abstract, unreachable thing after all. That perhaps I could find happiness like this. In friendship and mindless conversation with a man who didn’t see me as a burden.
“I’d love that.” I said with a smile, letting my fingers knit together with his.
“Scorned wife getting even? We spotted the recently cheated on Mrs Jeon getting cozy with a strapping, buff hottie in a private restaurant last Friday and we can’t help but wonder if perhaps the reclusive lady is trying to get back at her husband by flashing her own boytoy.” Namjoon read cheerfully from his phone, looking way too entertained as he showed me the zoomed photo of us holding hands over the dinner table .
“That’s quite the description they’ve put for you.” I grimaced, sipping my chamomile tea slowly. My father and Mr. Jeon had reacted with their usual anger, threatening to sue the gossip rag for libel but it was pointless. They would keep being intrusive rats. There was nothing much to be done beyond enduring them.
“My agent’s losing his mind. He’s been at me trying to get me to agree to book signings and public appearances and he’s pissed that this is the way I get introduced to Seoul’s High society. Poor guy.” Namjoon chuckled and I felt guilt churn.
“I’m sorry, Namjoon. I really didn’t think they’d be following me. I mean… usually they’re only tailing Jungkook but I guess with the whole thing with Lisa , they’re just looking for ways to make things worse.” I said hesitantly.
Namjoon hesitated, staring at me for a few seconds.
“We never really talked about how things are.” He said quietly. “ Between you and Jungkook, that is.”
I ran the edge of my chopsticks on the brim of my soup bowl.
“ There’s not much to say. He’s…. He’s still sorting things out. With my sister.” I smiled a little. It ached a lot less, I realized with surprise.
“They loved each other deeply.” Namjoon said softly. “ that sort of thing doesn’t go away that quickly.”
“Of course. And I’ve been …understanding of that. I like to think.”
“But its unfair to you. You deserve to be loved too. Fully and well .”
I leaned back to stare at him.
“Are you offering?” I laughed, teasing.
Namjoon didn’t smile, leaning forward instead.
“Depends. Will you ever consider leaving him, for me?” He said seriously.
My heart turned over inside me.
“Namjoon…” I choked out and he reached out and lightly touched my palm.
“I know how marriages work with people like you, so I think I should draw boundaries now, if I want to keep myself safe.” He smiled a bit.
“I’m pregnant. With his child.” I swallowed and Namjoon’s brows went up.
“I thought it was your child. Yours and no one else’s.”
I felt torn, staring at him and wanting to say that I didn’t consider Jungkook as the child’s father, not in the way most people did. But I also remembered my husbands determined voice, the way he kept insisting that he wouldn’t neglect the child.
“Its not about Jungkook or the child, Leah. Its about you. You married Jungkook knowing he was in love with your sister and that tells me that you listen to your parents. You don’t want to stand up against the rules set by our parents and I don’t fault you for it. But I can’t let myself fall for you, knowing you’re going to be bound by your obligations to yurr family.”
I shook my head.
“Don’t fall in love with me.” I said easily. “ You’re right. My family comes first. And whether I want to be or not, I’m bound to Jungkook for life. So don’t fall in love with me.”
He smiled and nodded.
“Do you want to move out?” I asked bitterly and he looked genuinely surprised.
“You clearly think I’m trying to seduce you or something when really, I-“
“Hey. Hey, Leah…no. No alright, that’s not what I meant. These two weeks, it was amazing. I love your mind and you’re easily one of my favorite people on this planet. We’re friends. And we’ll stay friends no matter what but you must know why I said what I said. You’re a beautiful woman and I’m a lonely guy.” He smiled a bit, “ I just don’t want to make it hard for myself when you want me to leave.”
Jungkook arrived back in Korea on a cold, rainy morning and against my better judgment I let Jihyun and Lisa drag me to the airport. It was some kind of publicity stunt, that much I could fathom but I didn’t know if Jungkook was in on it. I hadn’t spoken to him in a few days, he had been busy wrapping things up with the new branch in Japan.
It was another bad day for my leg and I found myself leaning heavily on my sister, her arm wrapped around my waist as we walked over to the waiting area. I could already identify a few men with cameras staring at us discreetly. Paparazzi . I saw them move their cameras down to the now obvious curve of my stomach and I swallowed. I could already imagine the articles wondering who the father was : Jungkook or Namjoon.
“You alright?” My sister asked worriedly and I nodded, not looking at her. Lisa hadn’t been discouraged by initial refusal to speak to her, keeping at it till I finally caved and let her visit me at the estate. She didn’t love Jungkook anymore, she insisted . It was over. They were over . She wanted to give her marriage a chance. Very sweet and nice, that. And it was obvious that she wasn’t lying, what with the way she and her husband kept
Jihyun and Lisa had made amends with each other and it annoyed me that they seemed to be madly in love with each other all of a sudden. Like the past couple months hadn’t even happened. I stared down at my wedding ring feeling stricken. Was it unfair that I resented them for this? Why hadn’t the two of them thought of this, of breaking things off and moving on before the damn wedding. And then maybe Jungkook and I would have had a real marriage too.
Bitter and hormonal was definitely not a good combination I thought with a wince, fingers splaying on the curve of my lower belly. It was so odd, being pregnant. The extra weight somehow foreign but also …so soothing. The last scan had shown that I had an anterior placenta and that meant that I may not feel movements for a while. I didn’t mind, having found comfort in just tracing my palm over the bare skin of my stomach.
“There he is.” Jihyun’s voice made me look up and ure enough there he was.
It wasn’t the longest we’d been away from each other and yet, I felt my heart leap at the sight of him. He truly was a very handsome man, I thought miserably. And no matter what people said, it was infinitely more difficult to hate your husband when he looked that good.
Jungkook’s eyes caught mine first and I saw the way his gaze dipped straight to the curve of my bump. Even from the ten feet between us , I saw hi lips part in surprise , eyes going wide. It probably hadn’t felt real to him till now, I thought biting my lips as he carefully handed his bags over to the two chauffeurs who had rushed to help him.
Jihyun wasted no time in bounding over and hugging his little brother tight.
I glanced at the man who had been taking photos, pleased to see the surprise in his face. Was he hoping that the CEO would punch his little brother in the face ? Idiots. Lisa stayed by my side and I exhaled shakily.
“ Dad told me something and I want to know if its true.” I said quietly.
She didn’t reply.
I took a deep breath, still watching the two brothers embrace each other, Jungkook’s face buried in Jihyun’s shoulders. I could see him shaking just a little and I felt my gut clench.
“He told me that …that you never told him that you wanted to marry Jungkook. That when he suggested Jihyun you agreed at once.”
She looked away.
“Lets talk about this later.” She said quietly.
“Does Jungkook know?” I demanded. “ Because he spent that first month of our marriage cursing our father out for forcing you to marry Jihyun. Forcing. And dad says that he did no such thing. So what is the truth.”
Lisa didn’t respond.
“Jungkook knows.” She said finally, “ I told him… the truth. When we were in Japan.” and I laughed in disbelief.
“Was that before or after you kissed him?” I snapped and she looked genuinely pained.
“Leah, I never meant to hurt you or Jungkook.” She said shakily.
“My God.” I shook my head. “ I always knew you were a selfish, greedy person but I didn’t take you for being a liar and a deceitful coward. ”
She stared down at her feet.
“Yes. I’m greedy..” She whispered “ And you may not understand it now but I did it for you and for Jungkook.”
She moved away and I watched as Jihyun pulled away from Jungkook, still holding his arm as he held a hand out to Lisa. The smile on her face seemed genuine as she took her husband’s hand and I shifted my gaze to mine. Jihyun and Lisa walked away to their car and Jungkook stepped closer to me, his face stoic and impossible to read.
“Leah.” He said quietly, dark hair falling into even darker eyes.
I didn’t reply, merely stepping up to gently press my palms on either side of his face.
“Welcome back.” I said softly, before reaching up and kissing him full on the lips. Jungkook’s entire body went stiff as a board at the gesture but he didn’t pull away , thankfully. It felt cold and impersonal and barely lasted a few seconds but hopefully the man had gotten a few good shots. I closed my eyes for effect, running my thumb over the clean shaven curve of his jaw, before pulling away slowly.
I peered over Jungkook’s shoulder, just to make sure and sure enough, the man was moving closer to get better angles. I smiled a little. Good. That should hold these vultures off for a while. I turned back to Jungkook and his eyes followed my gaze catching sight of the man with the camera and his entire body seemed to go stiff with anger.
“Why did you do that?” He growled and I bit my lips.
“You know why.” I made to turn away but he gripped my arm, hard. So hard that I winced.
“What are you doing?” I asked panicking, glancing at the man who was still watching.
“Since when did you start pandering to those pigs?” He whispered angrily and I flinched.
“Your father wants to introduce you to the Board of directors this weekend.” I whispered quietly, “Most of them read the news Jungkook. The last news about us can’t be about you cheating on me.”
“That’s my business. And I’ll deal with it. We’re not doing this, Leah. I’m not putting on some kind of act just to please my fucking father.” He looked furious and the taut line of his jaw made me flinch.
“I’m sorry.” I said quickly, guilt churning inside me. He was right. I shouldn’t have done that without talking to him about it but I knew that the scandal with him and Lisa wouldn’t go down well with the Board. And the Board generally had a direct say on who got hired to top managerial positions.
“I just want you to get that job.” I said softly and he stared at me, stiff body relaxing marginally.
“Let’s just go home. Yeah?” Jungkook said tiredly and I bit my lips.
Less than fifteen minutes since he came home and we were already at odds with each other.
The most ill suited couple in the universe, I thought with a grimace as he stepped right next to me and wrapped a hand around my waist.
I had a very terrible tendency to forget taking my pills. So I generally left them by the bedside table. Stepping out of the shower, I found Jungkook sitting on my side of the bed, examining the bottle carefully. I tugged on the white t shirt I had on, suddenly embarrassed because it was Jungkook’s
I’d asked to borrow a couple over the phone, simply because I no longer fit into my own and the ones I’d ordered weren’t here yet. Jungkook had agreed but still, it felt awkward when he was wearing the exact same t shirt himself.
He turned around when I moved to the vanity to put on moisturizer for the night and through the reflection I saw his gaze linger on my attire.
“Aspirin? Didn’t know that was part of pre natal vitamins?” He said seriously and I blinked., surprised. I turned around to stare at him, licking my lips nervously.
“How much research did you do?” I asked, genuinely curious and he flushed.
“I had a lot of free time. “ He said defensively. “ These six weeks.”
I frowned, before turning back to grab the small pot of night cream from the draw.
“My blood pressure is a little elevated. My mother had pre eclampsia with my sister and they just want to be careful.”
“Pre eclampsia?” Jungkook’s voice was fraught with nervousness and I turned back to see him almost white as a sheet.
“Jungkook…I.. its nothing serious.” I said hastily and his jaw went even more taut.
“What do you mean its not serious? Do you even know what it is?” He demanded.
“Do you?” I snapped back, annoyed at being treated like I was an errant child.
“I know that it’s the leading cause of maternal death during birth.” He all but shouted and I flinched.
“Okay…that’s only in extreme cases.” I held both my hands up. “ it’s a bit too premature to be panicking over that.”
Jungkook opened his mouth, as though to argue but then seemed to calm himself down.
“When’s your next check up?” He asked casually.
“This weekend. But its okay, Namjoon is-“
“I’ll come with you. I.. I want to come with you.” He said quietly.
I stared at him, feeling too awkward to outright refuse.
“You have the meeting with the Board. This weekend.” I said softly.
“So?” Jungkook shrugged. “ I’ll just tell them your appointment and health is more important to me. Besides isn’t that what you wanted? The reason you kissed me at the airport? You want the board to think we’re happily in love. I think that would be an excellent way to show them that. ”
Jungkook stared at me , head tilted curiously, daring me to deny what I had old him myself.
Sighing, I nodded.
“Alright.” I managed a weak smile. “ You can come with me.”
“Namjoon hyung left today, you said?” He asked casually.
“I should send him a bottle of his favorite wine for taking care of you so well. You look good.”
“He did it because he wanted to. Because he enjoyed it.” I retorted, his words rubbing me just a little wrong.
Jungkook smiled although it was more of a smirk.
“I’m sure he did. But I’m here now. And I did promise you that I’ll be there for you.”
“For the baby.” I said sharply, not liking the way he looked. The things he seemed to b implying.” You promised me you’d be there for the baby.”
“And right now, said baby is inside you.” He grinned now and I felt my pulse quicken at the sight. Jungkook didn’t smile with me. It wasn’t something that happened. At all. “ So I’ll have to take care of you.”
I stared at him, biting my lips.
“What are you doing?” I demanded. “My sister told you she never wanted you so now you want to start fucking me again?”
It was cruel. A terrible thing to say and I regretted it at once.
The smile faded.
“ I…fuck Jungkook.” I groaned.
“is that what you think of me? Need I remind you that you were the one who came to me all those months ago? I never…. I would never force myself on you, Leah.” He looked like he’d been stabbed and I heart clenched.
“Jungkook , I…”
“I’ve been honest. Through all of this I’ve been honest to you. I lied to your sister, I lied to my father and fuck I even lied to myself. But I’ve been honest with you , Leah.”
“And that’s supposed to make me feel better?!” I cried out, despairing. “ You were in love with my sister and –“
“And she wanted to marry my brother.” Jungkook yelled, standing up and turning to me, eyes blazing. “ All along. Know what she told me Leah? That it was never supposed to be me. That five years of us being together…it was because she was in love with my brother and she couldn’t bear the thought of being alone. She started dating me to make him jealous and when she saw that I spent so much time with Jihyun she stuck around . So she could spend time with him.” He shook his head.
I stared at him, horrified.
“I thought I could never feel more pathetic than when I stood there listening her tel me how she never felt a single thing for me. But wow…. Thank you for proving me wrong. Because right now, standing here begging you to let me a part of the child we both made knowing you only see me as some kind of pervert just looking to get into your bed….” he shook his head,” I feel worse. I feel dirty.”
My throat went dry.
“You know what?” He moved to the closet and to my horror he grabbed a bunch of his clothes and a small suitcase. “ I’m going to go get a Hotel room.”
“What? No… Jungkook, wait!” I rushed to his side, grabbing his arm but he threw my hand off quickly.
“Ask Namjoon hyung to move back in. Better yet, tell dad the truth. That you think I’m disgusting. That the thought of me being in your life makes you sick. Tell him you want a divorce and-“
“It’s a girl.” I exhaled sharply.
Jungkook went completely still.
I swallowed, my heart racing so fast I couldn’t catch my breath.
I took a deep breath and moved to lightly touch his back, fingers splaying on the broad expanse of his shoulder blade .
He turned around at that and my heart lurched at the tear tracks down his cheeks. He looked wrecked.
“ A girl?” He whispered.
I bit my lips, nodding.
“We’re having a little girl.” He looked a little shell shocked.
“Yes. And hopefully, she isn’t as dramatic as her father.” I said softly, grabbing the dozen or so t shirts he’d pulled out of the closet and pushing them back into the shelves.
Jungkook didn’t protest, still staring into space, probably just taking the news in. I felt awful for one second because I hadn’t even cared all that much when the technician had told me.
I closed the closet door and moved back to the vanity trying to process all that had been said in the last five minutes, only to feel a headache come on. I would think about it tomorrow.
I finished braiding my hair when Jungkook’s voice came from the bed.
“If you don’t want me to intrude into your space you can tell me. I’m okay with only getting information about the baby.” He said quietly.
I stared at myself in the mirror.
I turned to him slowly. i took a deep breath, considered that what i was going to say would likely change everything between us. But i had to.
I’ve always been honest with you Leah, He had said and I decided that perhaps he deserved some honesty in return.
“I think I’m in love with Namjoon.”
Author’s Note : these two are such a mess istg.
ooh i don’t have a taglist for this so please comment if you wanna be on it.
Jungkook, handing over the menu: I will have the side salad
Waiter: ….And what would that be on the side of, sir?
Jungkook: I don’t know, why don’t you place it right next to my water?
Head Boop 💚🐰🐯💜
will need at least 5 business days to process this jungkook
BTS star V spotted without a mask in New York after powerful speech at UN general assembly; sparks debate among netizen – Times of India
Korean Pop group BTS on Monday addressed the United Nations General Assembly (UNGA) as the special presidential envoy for future generations and expressed their faith in the youth’s ability to imagine a better world despite hard times. The Grammy-nominated band comprising of RM, Jin, Suga, J-Hope, Jimin, V, and Jungkook, attended the 76th UNGA as part of their duties as envoys and also performed…
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Smooth like Butter 💜🐯🐰💚
© 러브시그널 | do not edit.
"Everywhere we go we're looking for the sun
Nowhere to grow old, we're always on the run
They say we'll rot in Hell, but I don't think we will
They've branded us enough outlaws of love."
Okay so jin 100% planned to do a thumbs up so jk gripped him that hard to stop him and clown him