Guess who only got 4 hours of sleep cuz she was woken up by cramps?
Guess who only got 4 hours of sleep cuz she was woken up by cramps?
My school is going absolutely nuts with last minutes assignments and presentation and I’m so fucking annoyed by all of this.
We got twelve more days of school, starting tomorrow. During that time we have to write at least one exam, work on four new main topics (which are designed to be worked on for 20 days or so), a whole fucking project (1 ½ weeks normally) and also refresh and redo some tasks from the last two blocks of school so we can hold presentations about them, the first presentation already at the end of the week.
That all in 12 fucking days. And the whole schedule isn’t even up yet. It’s doable but highly annoying because they could have prevented this easily. The last block was right when COVID19 hit and they all lost their minds, giving us baby work for that block and now they realize that actually have to get some more grades
I THINK MY MONSTER ENCOURAGES YOUR MONSTER
Me: man I’ve been in the writing mood can’t wait to go home and write some stupid drabbles after work
*finals laughing in the distance*
The only time the Doctor gave up his Name was during the Time War, because of the horrific acts of violence and genocide he was committing. The only reason he took back his Name was because of Clara.
And then with Twelve saying “The Doctor is not here, you are stuck with me.” He reverted back to that person, and gave up his Name for Clara, who was the one to give it back to him in the first place.
And Clara knew this and said “Don’t be a Warrior.”
I just…do you ever just fucking cry
orpheus and eurydice walked
i was in fact screaming at my tv “turn back” so…. i’m
kinda wanna die rn!!!!!
A part just told a friend “I have been gaslit into believing that 99.9999999% of my life never happened/isn’t happening so when I get angry, there’s a part of me that retaliates by demanding to know why I am so crazy as to react when ‘nothing has actually happened at all.’”
And I feel like I have to share this here because I think it’s probably the most core thing we’ve said about Mk Ultra to date. It really might be. God I hate them… I hate them so much.
am i the only one who’s “your content saved my life” changed to having to stop watching their fav youtuber? bc watching their happiness and normality makes me so sad (which they have every right to be! These are just my own feelings.)
They actually have friends, relationships. I wish I had a s/o who spoke so lovingly about me, or a friend to laugh with. They’re normally attractive to extremely attractive. Great personalities and woke believes. They eat normally and have an healthy self image. You know, have a life… (It’s possible that they don’t but some of them are very transparent about those things bc…)
They’re even strong enough to want to help others who are hurting. And i here i am can even function, actively letting my illness spiral my life out of control bc getting help feels even worst than hurting myself. Can’t even listen to them try to giving me support bc it makes me feel so pathetic and like an abomination. Why did I get this illness?? Why cant I find the strength to help myself??? Why cant I just be normal???
Inside of just enjoying the content. I just can’t even watch it. I so totally used to project myself on them. Pretending that I was them, having fun, actually having friends, etc. But now I can’t. It makes me so sad that after all these years watching, pretending and wishing, I still can’t have a normal, at least semi happy life no matter what, no matter how hard I try.
I did terribly yesterday in terms of calories, I think well over 1000 but under 1500? I was too ashamed to keep counting. I drank enough water and walked like 30 minutes but that’s pointless when the diet is out of line.
However – due to the excess guilt of overeating, I’ve been doing pretty well ignoring my hunger and cravings today. I had so many opportunities to grab some food but I just keep remembering how things go downhill every time I eat, and that feeling sucks ASS. (zero/very low calorie drinks also help a lot)
Anyway, I’ll be logging tonight. I may be going for a walk later and hopefully (more importantly) I’ll get around to doing my yoga again.
I just wanna see the damn number on that scale move, man.
my hand has some spasms or my hand is shaking ? i don’t really know, but all i know is that i wanna die and i miss you K. i’m sorry for everything.
(This version is on my Ao3 along with the rest of the story, if you’d like to check it out here’s the link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24429163 )
No, he wasn’t mad…
He watched as Anakin slowly pulled Padme into another chaste kiss behind the marble column.
Obi-wan’s hand gripped the chain of the necklace he hid from everyone. The chain Anakin had given him for his birthday.
His eyes stared while his mind raced. Anakin voice in his ears once again. The “I love you’s” every “I’ll never hurt you” and the “I’ll never let you go’s”.
A sharp familiar pain plagued Obi-wan’s chest once more.
He hadn’t noticed the chain he ripped from his neck. Tiny silver pieces flew as it broke. His hand clasping tightly around the small pendant it held.
Obi-wan blinked away hot tears that burned his eyes. Memories flooded his mind.
Hands, flesh and not trailing his body. Soft calm, but vacant of all feelings. Markings covered the thighs his hands caressed, dark, red, and bruised hickeys. A thin layer a sweat made them shine in the low light of their quarters. Chaste kisses accompanied by exasperated gasps made chills run down his nerve endings, The smell of sex thick and heavy in air from their home coming.
It felt like his heart was being ripped from his chest as the tears came fast and hot. His hand squeezed around the circular pendant almost hard enough to bend it. Just like Anakin bent his truth and love for him.
Explosions surrounded them with endless contempt. A shinie huddled up to his vod wondering if this was the end for them. Red accommodated their white armor. Probably from holding a dying brother. it was depressing really, this campagne, the death and destruction of this beautiful world. It made him want to do nothing but hold his lover again. Cody said something, something about SKywalker coming in with reinforcements, but he couldn’t care less. A sharp pain in his chest only reminded him of his humanity, the only thing coming from the numbness that was occupying his body and mind.
Just a little farther’ Just keep fighting’ Just get to him’ Just push’
A hazy mind in a battle was never a good thing, it got people killed. People you love, people your never supposed to lose, people that make you, you. The fog in his mind grew thicker with every slice into yet another droid. Running on fumes and weak legs he could vaguely here his commander shouting orders to his men. Blood pumped in his ears with the battle growing closer and closer to a pitiful end. He’s not himself, everyone could see. Even Anakin who said he’d be at his side always.
Liar. Lair. Lair. Lair
He bit his lip to keep from making any noticeable noise.
A long night of negotiations resulted in his grand padawan passing out in his embrace. Soft breath and even softer hands tried to hang onto the back of his neck as he carried her. Anakin walked alongside them with a smile on his lips. Warm and sweet like honey.
“What’s that smile for?”
Anakin laughed quietly only smiling more.
“Oh nothing just wondering how kids always fall asleep on you.”
A hardy chuckle left his lips with Anakin’s response.
“I had a lot of practice with a certain Padawan of mine.”
“Oh? and who might that be Master?”
He stopped and just looked at him. His longer chestnut hair fell just above his shoulders in a wavy lazy position. Blue eyes watched him with a loving expression adorning his handsome features.
His soft laugh made the taller man step closer, only inches away he could feel his heat. Then he spoke, eyes darkening with a promising intent of lust.
“How many times do I have to say it. You look ravishing tonight my Love.”
LIAR. LIAR. LIAR. LIAR!
Anger boiled in the pit of his stomach while he dwelled and drowned in the endless ocean of white lies and broken promises. He couldn’t breath. The oxygen wasn’t there, only panic. As he became painfully aware of what he had done.
Painfully aware that he really was just a play thing.
The door to the lift had shut leaving Obi-wan to pull his hood up.
Opening his hand he looked over the ring laying in the palm of his hand. It’s soft golden color contrasted beautifully against his pale skin.
A symbol of forever that only dragged him down deeper into the endless ocean of lies.
The farther down the more numb he became.
A suicidal promise.
Cody and the others turned to the twang of metal against metal as the ring hit the floor. As quick as it was dropped it was nudged into the vent by the owners boot.
No one said anything, but they all knew… the truth.
He turned swiftly. His long cloak catching the air and flaring as he left to be alone.
To drown …
Ughhh I’m STRESSED
I start school Tuesday and ya it’s only one class but still!!! I can barley fucking read the text book and syllabus without getting distracted in .002 sec. also I’m not passionate about what I’m majoring in which FUCKING sucks and I hate myself UGH
Ups, znów uszkodziłam sobie skórę…
Yeah, thats me, your broken af girlfriend crying herself to sleep in call while you’re happily dozing off ignoring my cries. What the fuck.