For the first time in a long time I’m starting to lose my fear of love. To not have fear of love is like not being scared of dropping your heart from a plane, the thrill of falling but the security of knowing you won’t die… It’s so overwhelming the way you love me, it’s coming over my walls. Maybe they will fall one day and we can build a castle.
usually I don’t get feelings for straight girls EVER bc my brain blocks it out but WOW this girl is something else. idek if she’s completely straight; I helped her with boy problems but I feel like she likes me? she’s like everything I’ve ever wanted and I’ve finally come to terms with it
#lesbian #girls who like girls #girls who kiss girls
summary: Y/N and Sophia met while filming the first It movie and they instantly hit it off. Y/N is bisexual, she’s had plenty of boyfriends, but has never quit known how to approach girls, even though she was attracted to them. She’d never fallen in love with a girl before either, until now. She’s completely torn apart by her feelings, assuming that Sophia surely couldn’t feel the same way, but what if she was wrong?
pairing: sophia lillis x reader
warning: wlw, get over it;) & probably some fluff w the plot i’m going for & slight swearing bc well ya
“Okay, well this is a really fucked up situation for me and I trust you. You’re one of my best friends, I need your help.” y/n sighed in frustration as her eyes darted around the room and anywhere but into Jack’s eyes.
“Well, first of all, you need to calm down. I can see the anxiety written on your face, dude. It’s me, Jack, remember? I don’t judge, try me baby!” He grinned at the girl before him and she cracked a smile and her stomach settled a bit. He was right. She had absolutely no reason to be afraid to talk to him. Jack was a complete dork and had no filter and y/n believed that’s why they got along so well. She loved her cast mates as if they were her family. She felt like she’d known them her whole life.
“Okay, well… I’m bisexual.” Jack giggled at the nervousness in her voice.
“y/n, babe, I can read people like a daily newspaper, I already knew this. Well, assumed it and never confirmed it. I just had a feeling,” He smiled slyly at her, “I mean, I see the way you look at Sophia…”
Damn, he was good.
“Shit, it’s that obvious!?” She was taken aback and also terrified that he wasn’t the only one who caught onto her crush.
“I mean, for me it was. I’m just that good.” He grinned as he praised himself and y/n rolled her eyes at her friend, but couldn’t help the smile spread across her face, “I wouldn’t be surprised if anyone else noticed, though.” He said.
“Oh god…” She felt her cheeks heat up instantly and before she could speak again another voice rang out in the room.
“Noticed what?” Sophia bounced her way over to the two of them and smiled simply as she sat down next to y/n. Jack froze and so did y/n.
“Uhhh, that huge pimple on her forehead, I mean look at that sucker!” Jack blurted, not knowing what else to say and he instantly mouthed an ‘I’m sorry’ to y/n. She buried her head in her hands and felt her face heat up more than it already had, which she was surprised was even possible at that point. Now she was wondering if she really did have a huge pimple on her forehead.
“Jack, you’re an ass! y/n, you don’t even have a pimple on your forehead, don’t listen to him!” Sophia rolled her eyes and giggled and y/n felt her stomach flip at the beautiful sound of Sophia’s laugh. God, she was perfect…
“Well, would ya look at that, she’s right! I’m an idiot. Gotta go, bye.” Jack spoke fast and stood quickly and didn’t give either girl a chance to speak before he darted out of the room without a second thought.
“What the hell was that? Why is he being such a weirdo?” Sophia asked in confusion.
“Uh, I-I don’t know, who knows, it’s Jack, I think that’s all that needs to be said.” She laughed nervously, trying to crack a joke and play it cool.
Sophia totally wasn’t buying it and y/n could tell by the look on her beautiful freckled face, “You’re being a weirdo, too. Is there something going on here!?” Sophia wiggled her eyebrows and laughed, “You and Jacky boy are totally hooking up, aren’t you!?” y/n was at loss for words, completely unsure of what to say or do. Did she really think that? She searched Sophia’s face for any sign of disappointment and for a second thought she might have seen it, but she told herself she was being crazy. y/n decided maybe she could use this to her advantage so she played along.
“I mean…maybe…” She let a smile tug at her lips and her eyes averted Sophia’s gaze.
“Oh.. shit I was joking, but uh,” She scratched the back of her neck and laughed oddly, “That’s awesome.”
Sophia’s smile was forced. y/n was too oblivious to notice, though and also way too oblivious to see how much Sophia adored her. I mean quite frankly, both girls were oblivious. They were head over heels for one another and neither had the guts to admit it. They spent about 75% of their time wrapped up in each other and spending time together and the rest of the cast could see the connection between them. No one would assume their sexuality aloud, but there was just something about the way they laughed at each other’s silliness or admired the other when they spoke. Jack knew what kind of love it was, even though he was a total goofball, he was extremely observant sometimes and smart. Jack also knew if he was right, that y/n hadn’t told him or anyone else about liking girls in any way, so he respected his friend and didn’t pry. He knew when the time was right, that she would confide in him and she did. He was totally gonna flip a shit when she told him what she just did.
“You what!?” y/n smiled sheepishly at her friend and his dumbfounded expression, “That is so not how you get girl.” Jack shook his head and spewed about how he would have to fix this mess for her and something about her being absolutely idiotic and then adding an innocent ‘no offense’ right after his words.
“No, dummy, we can use this! Maybe see if it would make her jealous? I don’t know how else to figure out if she feels the same without admitting my own feelings and what if she doesn’t and things got weird or something? Like, let’s pretend to be a couple and see how she reacts to it and if she gets jealous I have my answer, right? I mean for fuck sake, Jack, if she doesn’t like girls then I’ll look like a total creep.”
“Okay, but like do we have to kiss and shit, cause uhhhh…” He scrunched his nose at y/n and she let herself feign a hurt expression.
“Oh, c’mon, a kiss here and there so it’s believable won’t kill you, Jack!”
“God, you’re so fucking lucky you’re my best friend and I want you to be happy. Seriously, you drive me crazy.” He mumbled and y/n smiled in triumph.
Safe to say, this plan was actually horrible. It had been a few weeks and somehow it went public and everyone in the entire world thought that y/n y/l/n and Jack Dylan Grazer were dating. Better yet, Sophia made herself scarce and y/n listened to Jack whine about how that was her answer right there. She was pissed and hurt and didn’t want to be around either of them. For some reason, it still wasn’t enough of an answer for y/n. It just didn’t make sense to her.
“Honey, I love you, but you’re dumb.” Chosen rolled his eyes playfully at y/n. Eventually the rest of the kids had admitted their surprise to her and Jack’s new relationship and how they all could have sworn there was lowkey something between her and Sophia.
“Yeah, uh, it’s painfully obvious that she feels the same. I think you’re just overthinking it and letting the anxiety take over. Trust me, I know how that feels,” Finn reassured the girl, “And besides, poor Jack here has had to kiss you like 100000 times.” He smirked jokingly as he gestured to Jack who began to cry playfully.
“Hey, you little shit, I’m the best kiss you’ll ever have and that’s a fact.” You shot back just as playfully as the two boys.
“Look, all we’re saying is, is that you clearly love her and we think your plan was well thought out, but somehow poorly executed… You should just give up and go talk to her and admit it!” Wyatt shrugged as he spoke, as if it were so simple, but y/n was screaming on the inside.
“God, fuck all of you for being so right.” She grumbled.
“So, go get your damn girl, cause she 100% feels the same. Anyone with eyes can see that.” Jack reassured his best friend.
“I wish Jaeden and Jeremy were here, they would totally be on my side.”
“I promise you, this is the one time that they wouldn’t be on your side.” Finn laughed and y/n pouted at them all.
“Well?” Chosen looked at her with question, eyes wide, “What are you waiting for? Go!” Him and Finn dragged her to the door, wide smiles on their faces.
“You’re gonna be okay, she feels the same, we just know it.” Finn smiled warmly at her before squeezing her shoulder. She sighed and nodded her head, before leaving the house.
“Um, what are you doing here?” Sophia spoke with confusion, trying to pretend like nothing was wrong and y/n sighed heavily. Even if she didn’t feel the same way, clearly she was bothered by her co-stars and their new ‘relationship’. If only she knew…
Well, she was about to.
“I miss you.” y/n blurted, unsure of how to start the conversation. She scratched her head and swallowed the growing lump in her throat. She could of sworn she was going to puke, right then and there, “C-Can, can I come in? We need to talk about something.” She spoke softly, stammering over her words and mentally slapping herself for it.
“Yeah… fine.” Sophia’s words were short and stale and y/n hated the way she was acting. She never meant for it to end up like this.
“Listen, I have no idea how to start this. I didn’t even want to do this. I’m actually so scared right now, that I’m going to barf everywhere before I can even say it.”
“Say what?” Sophia leaned forward, her tone changing drastically.
“I-I… I..” y/n felt the anxiety creeping up on her again and she stopped speaking, trying her hardest to breathe. God, why the fuck was this so hard?
“You what?” Sophia pressed, trying to laugh how worked up y/n was getting. She was hoping to hear the words she’d been wanting to hear for months and months now.
“I don’t date Jack. It was all a fake relationship.” y/n spoke timidly, “And there was a reason for it.”
“What? Why would you do that? What could the reason possibly be?”
“The reason is… it’s- you see… fuck…” y/n looked Sophia in the eye, taking ahold of the girl’s hand and Sophia swallowed hard, her palms starting to sweat out of nowhere, “The reason is you.” y/n whispered and Sophia sat still, her face turning redder by the second and her bottom lip quivering and holy shit, y/n was scared shitless. She thought she had fucked up. That was it, she didn’t feel the same and the boys were idiots for telling her that Sophia did.
“Okay, that’s my cue to leave, I totally fucked this all up and I knew I shouldn’t have said anything.” y/n said quickly, letting go of Sophia’s hands.
“No! Wait, shit sorry. I-I just, I wasn’t expecting that holy shit. I needed a second to process and now that I have, I think you’re so ridiculous for feeling like the boys were wrong and that you shouldn’t have said something, to the point where you made up a whole fake relationship to get a rise out of me,” Sophia laughed and put her head into her hand before looking back up at y/n.
“What do you mean? I’m not ridiculous and you’ve yet to say anything directly to what I said so I still feel like this is a total shit show and I totally should still leave.” y/n blinked hard, trying not to let any tears spill.
“What do I mean? How are you ridiculous? How were you wrong? Because, I love you, idiot.” Sophia spoke softly, pushing a strand of hair out of y/n’s face and y/n never thought she would hear those words. Her heart soared and she smiled at Sophia.
“I love you, too.” She breathed and her stomach did so many flips and twirls it felt like she was flying. And then Sophia kissed her and she felt like she was in the fucking clouds. She didn’t know you could feel this good. She kissed before, but this kiss was different. This kiss was filled with love and a longing feeling, an ache for one another.
“Wow…” y/n didn’t even know the word had left her mouth as soon as Sophia had pulled away and then it hit her.
She loved her back… holy shit.
“Okay, but seriously, now you and Jack need to pull a huge dramatic break up scene out of your asses and you need to shout at him about how you loved me allllll along and used him to fill the hole in your heart until you found out I loved you back and you don’t need him anymore.” Sophia clutched at her heart and spoke playfully.
“Uh, no way, I’ll look like the asshole. Let’s just make him dump me and he can say it’s cause I’m a bad kisser or something and he hates my tacky outfits.” They both giggled at the words that had come out of y/n’s mouth so seriously.
“I mean, he would be wrong, though.” Sophia’s lips lingered over y/n’s and y/n felt her arms turn to jelly and her legs quivered. She was like putty in this girl’s hands.
“Yeah, well that’s why you kiss like a fish and you always wear tacky outfits! We’re done, y/n!” y/n almost laughed out loud at Jack’s aggressive tone. God, he really was a good actor.
“Fine, I don’t care anymore, Jack, goodbye!” You and the rest of your friends watched the recorded video that somehow landed on youtube with millions of views. Jeremy and Finn were snickering to themselves and Wyatt was rolling his eyes from how cringy the scene was.
“Wow, people really believed this wasn’t staged? You guys sound like idiots.” Finn laughed so hard he had tears coming out of his eyes.
“Hey! I thought it deserved an Oscar.” Jack beamed proudly, shoving Finn playfully. Chosen nodded and gave a thumbs up to Jack.
“I don’t even care, I’m just glad we went out with a bang, right Jacky?” y/n joked and he high fived her as he nodded in agreement.
“And now,” Sophia wrapped her arms around the y/h/c haired girl, “You’re finally all mine.” She whispered before placing a kiss on the girl’s forehead.
“You know boys, there’s six of us and two of them and somehow both the girls managed to fall in love with each other and none of us got the girl. Are we really that ugly?” Jack asked in amusement.
“Yes.” Sophia deadpanned, before cracking a smile and laughing loudly at his expression.
“Nah, but all jokes aside, we’re really happy you dummies realized it and that you’re finally together because I have no idea what y/n’s next plan would have been and I was afraid to find out. We love you guys.” Jaeden grinned and the girls yelled out an ‘awwww’ in unison before enveloping the boys in a big hug.
Why does this actually suck, brb killing myself. I tried lmfaooo, also not as long as I was intending for it to be. And it felt so forced, wow. I really hope the anon that requested this still enjoys it, I tried girl, I tried:’(
one time I was talking about protesters and how much they suck to some kid at the pride parade and she just went “Ya’know, they could be making mac and cheese right now but nope. they chose to hate.” and you know what? I cant stop thinking about that