Hello! So, I was about to use the polyamory flag for my RedBubble, but I realized that the current flag’s colors hurt. So, I decided to redesign it and add some meanings that I felt were important!
I will be making RedBubble designs with this flag, but you are free to also make designs, art, edits, etc. with the flag!
so I sent my girlfriend a link to a video of (last of us 2 spoilers) Ellie singing Take On Me to Dina and said that I was going to try to learn the guitar, and she asked if I was going to serenade her. I said maybe (I do fully intend to).
then when she had to go, she sent “I look forward to being serenaded😘” and I just gay panicked and sent the first thing I could think of.
“well I have to learn the guitar first.”
could I have thought of a worse response? I think not. :(
Today’s blog post is adapted from a Twitter thread I posted the other day.
The anti-ace-and-aro “discourse” on Twitter lately has been… interesting, to put it kindly and mildly. Demisexuality has been thrust into the “not actually a thing” spotlight. And as any minority knows, when the people who are not us thrust us into the spotlight, it doesn’t go well for us.
A lot of the “conversation” is centered around someone’s comment that demisexuality was “invented on Tumblr.” The implication here is that if people figured something out while talking about it on Tumblr, then it must not be real.
And the responding cry from aces has been to point out – accurately! – that demisexuality was not “invented on Tumblr.” The word first came up on the AVEN forums. When that conversation started, Tumblr didn’t even exist yet. You can Google it if you want to know more.
Of course I understand the drive to defend ourselves against those who would seek to delegitimize demis. But every time I see someone tweet, “Actually, demisexuality WASN’T invented on Tumblr!” I feel weird about it.
I mean yeah, that’s true, it wasn’t invented on Tumblr.
But so what if it was?
So what if Tumblr was the first place I heard the word “demisexual”? (It was!)
So what if Tumblr was how I first learned that other aces and aros existed at all, let alone demis and grays? (It was!)
So what if I have Tumblr aces and aros to thank for giving me the chance to learn that I wasn’t broken, I wasn’t faking, and I wasn’t alone? (I do!)
So what if Tumblr was where I found hope that I could one day have a partner who loved, understood, accepted, and adored ALL of me, as I am? (It was!)
Where would I have learned that truth, and found that hope, if not for Tumblr? I mean, if the last week has made anything clear, it’s that I wouldn’t have found it on Twitter!
Sure, TODAY I have plenty of aspecs to retweet. Now that I know where to look for them. Now that we’re brave enough, and confident enough in ourselves and our community, to stand up to the aphobes and exclusionists. But seven years ago?
Heck, I didn’t even HAVE a Twitter account seven years ago. I was on Tumblr for the Doctor Who gifsets.
What would my life be now, if I hadn’t stumbled across the word “demisexual” in a Tumblr post seven years ago?
I’m honestly having a difficult time imagining it. So much of who I am now, I was able to build because I knew there was a word for the way I experienced the world, that I wasn’t the only one who experienced the world in this way, that there was nothing wrong with it.
If I had entered my first romantic relationship still thinking that there was something wrong with me, that I was somehow broken or falling behind, that I was being “unreasonable” or “picky” and that I would need to prioritize my partner’s “needs” over my own comfort… It’s scary to imagine.
I was very lucky to see that Tumblr post when I did.
In the years since then, I’ve grown so much in self-confidence and in my belief that I know what I want out of my relationships and what is best for my body. And I have found so much love – for myself, for others, and from others – in the last seven years that I would not have otherwise found.
All of that is real. All of what I have experienced, and all of who I am, is real. Just because this part of my journey began on Tumblr doesn’t mean that it’s all been fake.
I refuse to talk down Tumblr in an attempt to legitimize my sexual identity. I don’t care how other people see Tumblr. Tumblr has played an essential role in my life, and I won’t discount that.
Tumblr is a place where people interact. That’s literally what the internet is, what Twitter is, what AVEN is. It’s a place where people who otherwise would have thought they were all alone in their experience were finally able to find each other, talk to each other, and together figure out words for their shared experiences.
What happens on the internet is real.
Demisexuality is real.
im tired of the “haha bisexual girls like all girls and 2 men haha” joke
like,,,,,,, i get it u have a preference but can we just stop doing that
its kinda invalidating for bi people with no preference or a preference for men
like,,,,
Lesbians be like I wanna go strawberry picking with a summer dress on and have the girl of my dreams lay her head in my lap as I tell her nice stories and than we go take a dip in a lake to cool down from the summer heat. We later see the stars together and share a tender moment It’s me I’m lesbians 🥺
Pessoal, minha namorada (ig: @/polichromia) fez a arte e traduziu esse guia de (ig: @/tai.draws). Tô divulgando aqui no tumblr também por ser um material muito importante e que minha namorada fez de boa vontade gratuitamente.
Por favor compartilhem pra ajudar a educar mais pessoas e deem uma olhada no trabalho dela lá no insta e do artista original.
I forgot outside links can negatively effect post visibility sooo posting this again. lol Anyway looking to check interest in preorders for these…. They’d be 2 inches, hard enamel, $10. Check out the strawpolls on the post right below this on my blog! :)
For those of you that haven’t heard yet, the FIRST NON-BINARY Awarness Week will be from July 12-18th. This will become an annual event so mark you calendar!
what it really means to be closeted
this is mostly based of my own experience. I’ve known about my sexuality for over 3 years and haven’t told any of my family. they are extremely conservative and Mormon, and my father sometimes makes violent threats toward lgbt people.
while my experience may not be super common (idk honestly) I think a lot of cishet people, and even some queer people that never needed to stay in the closet, need to understand how deep the experience goes. I needed to get a lot of this off my chest
