*James and Lily skipping stones on lake* Lily: It’s such a beautiful evening. James, whispering: Take that you fucking lake
*James and Lily skipping stones on lake* Lily: It’s such a beautiful evening. James, whispering: Take that you fucking lake
james potter is the type of guy to clap when the plane lands, i said what i said.
things don’t become traditions because they’re good. they’re good because they’re traditions.
Lily and Sirius have their own holiday tradition.
(*In addition to the explosion with petunia and snape, I’ve always imagined lily as a child of divorce, clocking in around first year after she started Hogwarts. this obviously isn’t canon (i don’t think) but...lean in).
approx: 4k words, fyi.
(tw: whisper of mentioned abuse)
Lily Evans sat in the common room of Gryffindor, the silence in the space a strange sort of eerie. It was late and part of her heart was racing, not wanting to get in trouble for being out of bed, but she hoped if she left her dormitory, she would at least be able to try to talk herself to sleep. But it was midnight, she was getting on the Hogwarts Express tomorrow to go home for Winter Holidays and she couldn’t sleep. Knots in her stomach. Unsettled. Apprehensive. When did home and her pink bedroom and her parents become a warzone?
Her fingers tapped on the tops of her knee caps as she sat looking into the fireplace, startling when she heard footsteps behind her. She turned her head to see Sirius Black-- entitled, arrogant, consistently besting her on exams-- Sirius Black, stepping out of the boys dormitory staircase. His hair was combed back neatly, compared to the loose curls that fell into his eyes he usually wore. She didn’t say anything as he walked over to the armchair furthest away from Lily. At the very least she knew Black wouldn’t tell on her for still being awake.
He leaned forward onto his knees as he sat down, the warm colors of the fire looking odd on his cool features, flames that didn’t belong there dancing in grey eyes.
“Is it a problem that I’m sitting here?” he asked, not making eye contact. His accent was so polished, reminding Lily of all the boys and girls she went to primary school with who laughed at the rips in her tights and her fathers beat-up car.
“You’re staring at me. If it’s not okay, I’ll move,” he explained quickly, his tone lacking the usual arrogance it usually did. It sounded genuine. It sounded like he was actually concerned with how Lily felt with him being there.
“It’s…fine. I…didn’t mean to stare. I was just surprised. Sorry.”
“Don’t apologize,” he shook his head quickly but said nothing else, only going back to the fire. And Lily didn’t know why but she suddenly felt so much less alone, knowing there was one other person in the dorm having trouble sleeping. Knowing there was at least one other first year who maybe wasn’t anxious to be getting home for the holidays. She drew her legs up under her chin, wrapping her arms around them tightly as they continued to sit in silence.
A clock ticked somewhere in the background.
The fire crackled and popped.
She chanced a glance over to Sirius again, who was so still it was unnerving. This was the boy she had met who was almost always laughing. Who learned things so quickly it made Lily’s blood boil. Who plopped into chairs and ran to get places in the castle, his friends not far behind. But he just sat there, not saying a word, his expression tight.
“How do you think you did on your midterm exams?” she asked cautiously and quietly. If he didn’t answer, that would be a hint. If he did…maybe Lily didn’t have to just think her lonely thoughts.
“Just alright? Is alright in your world perfect?”
The corners of his mouth twitched, “Yes. I’m sure you did alright as well.”
“We’ll see…” she said absently, “It’s going to be strange…not doing magic for a month. I didn’t even know this existed last year and now…everything’s different.”
Sirius made a noncommittal noise, letting a small silence pass after that, “Want to trade, Evans?”
“You can do all the magic you like at my home. I’ll take your muggle world…”
“You…don’t want to go home.” A statement, not a question.
“No. I don’t.”
“Me neither,” she admitted, and Sirius turned his face towards her finally, looking away from the fire. “I’ll….tell you mine if you tell me yours.”
“You…won’t get mine. It’s…fine.”
“It’s just… messy now,” Lily said, “My Mum sent me some sort of written itinerary? A schedule for Christmas because they can’t even manage being in the same room as one another for a few hours.” She shook her head, looking back to Sirius who was next to her on the couch, long legs stretched out on top of Lily’s lap, staring up at the ceiling as he listened. “So now, I have Christmas dinner in shifts.”
“Who makes the better food?”
“That’s the thing! My Dad doesn’t bloody cook! And were it my choice, I just assume have take away at his flat than muster through this elaborate dinner at my Mums…”
“It’s not your choice?”
“They pretend it is…but it’s really not. Someone's feelings always get hurt. I spent most of the summer with my Dad so I could stay by Severus and…feelings get hurt.”
Sirius hummed, “Adults.”
“Somehow it's our job to fix all the ways they mess up…” he said bitterly, still not making eye contact. Since first year and the first time they had shared tales of their respective families, Lily and Sirius had been friendly, much to the chagrin of James Potter, who Lily still found obnoxious as all hell. Sirius, she realized, put on a very good show. But when you got him alone and Lily had more opportunity for that as of late, with Arithmancy and Ancient Runes as shared electives. But Sirius was a surprisingly good listener. Sirius, for all his money and good looks and a last name she had been told held more weight in wizarding society than anyone should, didn’t pass judgement. He was generous. He…wasn’t at all who she had initially thought him to be, though he still had his moments of absolute frustration and with Arithmancy added to the mix, was more than content to drive her up a bloody wall with next to perfect scores and understanding.
He also had a darkness to him that Lily was trying to understand. But he made it hard to get too close. As much as she knew about his family--about his brother who had become more distant the longer he was in Gryffindor, about his strict parents and pureblood society that he wanted nothing to do with, about feeling caught in a moratorium of still hoping things could change and deathly afraid they wouldn’t.
“Are you going to have to cut your hair again?” Lily asked, hinting at what she knew she wasn’t allowed to say to him just yet. But she could see the change of Sirius’ hair every September and every January and it left her feeling hollow. The short hair and the stiffness in Sirius’ back. The way it took weeks for Sirius to start smiling completely again.
Sirius laughed bitterly, “Yeah…I am.”
Sirius was quiet. Lily was quiet. But their legs were touching on the couch, growth spurts setting in leaving Sirius’ much larger than they were last year. He didn’t move away when she wrapped her arm through his and put her head on his shoulders.
Everything was hard.
This year had been hard.
Letters addressed to Sirius that left him quiet and painfully obedient.
Letters addressed to Lily that made her furious and comments said in the hallways that made her want to cry.
Fights in the hallways. Duels in the hallways.
Anger consumed both of them. Lily released it verbally. Sirius released it physically.
“Fuck,” muttered Sirius finally, and he dropped his head into his hands, elbows resting on his knees.
“Double fuck.” she responded, “Fuck it all, actually. Everything.”
“Fuck my mother.” Sirius said, “Your sister too. Maybe they should just…go fuck each other.”
“Should we write them that?”
“That’d go over well,” he said sarcastically.
“I think so.”
“I don’t know if I can do it…I don’t know if I can go home and just…act like it’s…fine when it’s not. And…swear to fucking merlin, if they touch me, if they touch my soft idiot brother, I am going to hit them back.”
“I’m so tired, Lily.” he said, his voice breaking and the use of her first name made tears instantly prick the corners of her eyes.
“Don’t get expelled. Don’t…do something that’s going to get you expelled.”
“They won’t expel me. I’m a Black.”
“I need you here.” Lily sat up to look at Sirius’ face, impossibly hard and handsome all at once, “Merlin knows why because you’re the most frustrating person I’ve ever met, but I do. Because you challenge me and you’re the only one I trust to keep their bloody mouth shut about…everything, and you’re absolutely terrible to Severus but…lately you’ve been nicer to me than he has been so. I need you here. So don’t be stupid, okay?”
“I’m tired too.”
“You want to hear something stupid?” Sirius asked, Lily’s legs over his lap in front of the fire, a bar of chocolate between them as the rest of Gryffindor slept, the clock reading past midnight.
“Yes,” she responded eagerly, grinning in his direction.
“Don’t sound too excited.”
“It’s a rare moment for you, I love it when I can say I’m smarter than you,” she teased and Sirius poked her in the side, Lily wiggling at the ticklish spot, “Hey, no fair.”
“I’m trying to be serious here.”
“You’re always Sirius.”
“Fucking hell, Evans.”
“What? I can’t make those jokes?”
“I think all those jokes should be permanently foreclosed.”
“Finally,” she said, smiling and Sirius rolled his eyes, “Sorry, I’m listening. Tell me your stupid thought.”
“I…uh…I stay with James now. Did…you know that?” Lily did know that. Despite Sirius never actually explicitly telling her. Fifth year had finished in a blur and a hurricane of Sirius, putting fractures into every relationship he had and doing his best to keep everyone away. But Lily had noticed when the start of sixth year, Sirius’ hair hadn’t been cut. Sirius wasn’t returning with a vacant look in his eyes, and instead was tan and smiling and approached the school year with a new sort of tenacity.
“Yeah…well his house is brilliant. They’re all so chatty--I’m sure you could guess that-- and there's music playing all the time and they dance in the living room and it…smells good? All the time. I’ve never been in a home where it always smells like there's pie baking. Anyway…I know I’m better there and I know this because…I feel better there and no one tells me to shut up or…anything,” Sirius said looking down at his hands. “But…at my…I guess, old home? Around the holidays we always got a massive Christmas tree. Since I can remember. Like, two of me at least and…that was the one thing we always did together. My brother and our parents…We’d decorate this tree. It’s a fire hazard how many candles get put on it and…my brother and I would lie underneath it when it was finished and look at the lights like they were stars.
And…last year, because I grew so much? I got…to put the star on top of the tree. And it felt so special,” he inhaled deeply, “That’s the last good thing I remember. And even though I know I’m better off and I’m glad for it…there's a tiny part of me that is going to miss the big Christmas tree. Stupid, right? Because I shouldn’t miss it. I shouldn’t…miss my room--I put pictures of muggle girls in there to piss them off-- and I shouldn’t miss my backyard that’s covered in roses and has the best view of the night sky.
I shouldn’t miss it. But every once in a while…it’s so quick, I do. And I hate myself for it. Because it’s stupid. To miss a fucking Christmas tree when I’m….actually in a home of people who love me now.”
“...Is that why you put extra lights on the Gryffindor one?”
“That’s not stupid.”
“Feels really fucking stupid,” he said, “I miss my stupid brother too.”
“I bet he’s thinking the same thing you are.”
She shook her head, “You’re….so bloody hard to ignore. I tried to, as you recall. Didn’t work out very well.”
“I’m not,” she said, simply. “They’re thinking about you too. And I hope…you take immense satisfaction in knowing that…you gained. And they just…lost something super important.”
“I…uh…I’m going to need you to say something mean to me, compliments make me very uncomfortable. Unless it’s telling me that I’m exceptionally good looking.”
“Not this time,” she said grinning, Sirius’ face starting to crack as well, “And brace yourself for this one.”
“I love you, Sirius Black.”
“Now that’s stupid of you,” he responded, but Lily just shrugged, letting Sirius sit with three words he had been grappling with for the entirety of the year. She was prepared to launch into her own Christmas woes, to diffuse the situation and the compliment but then Sirius shifted positions on the couch, moving Lily’s legs off his lap. For a brief moment she was concerned she had pushed too much, and teased too much and Sirius was going to leave. But instead, moved to lay on top of her, his arms wrapping around her tightly, his head on her torso. Her hand went to his hair almost instantly. He couldn’t say it back, but Lily thought this might mean he loved her too.
“Did I tell you my sister has a new boyfriend?”
“What’s this one like?”
“Size of a fucking whale,” and Lily could feel Sirius’ laugh against her stomach, black curls smoothed by a tiny hand with pink nail polish and she continued to talk about her sisters newest partner.
“And here I was a bit concerned you weren’t going to be down here tonight...” Lily said, not quite concealing her smile as she saw Sirius emerge from the boys dormitory, immediately going to sit on the couch next to her in front of the fireplace. He was wearing what she knew was one of Remus’ large knit sweaters, the fit not so baggy on Sirius’ broad frame, and sweatpants.
“It’s tradition, why would I miss?”
“I dunno, because we’re spending Christmas together this year.”
“Now that’s a sentence I never thought I’d hear,” he grinned and Lily laughed softly, not wanting to wake up the rest of their house that was hopefully sleeping. But it was the night before they were all set to go home for the holidays, and every year since first year, Sirius and her had ended up in the common room unable to sleep because of their respective holiday placements. Two family structures crumbling in tandem for different reasons and Sirius had been there to watch it unfold, even at 11. And then even more so at 13 when Christmas turned into a joint custody arrangement and then at 15 when it all went to hell. They would spend hours talking and staring into the fire. Imagining scenarios where everything was perfect.
And seemingly, this year, when they were both going to be at The Potters, it was going to be.
“I never thought I’d say it,” she smiled, “I...never thought I would be going to James Potters for Christmas, much less that he’d be my boyfriend when I did.”
“What other scenarios would you be going?”
“He takes in strays,” she said as a means of an explanation and Sirius nudged her.
“I am not a stray.”
“Sure, sure,” she teased, and adjusted herself on the couch, pulling a knee up to her chest so her chin could rest on it and looking more fully at Sirius, “I...am so nervous I could shit my pants. In fact, I might.”
“Charming, Evans, really.”
“Okay, I’m sorry, I forgot your highness has never crapped a day in his life,” she rolled her eyes and Sirius snorted, “I...thought it would be a good idea, going there. Much less complicated and...my Dad’s working on Christmas day anyway and I wouldn’t be...I don’t know, lonely the whole break in muggle-world and there would be no stuck-up sisters. But now, I’m thinking this...was a terrible idea.”
“Did I not mention I’m going to lose control of my bowels? And his father is the inventor of Sleekeazy’s and an incredible potioneer and it’s going to take a concerted amount of effort to not talk his bloody ear off.”
“Well, lucky for you, the Potters love to talk. You’ll fit right in. Don't worry."
"And yet we're still here...even though we’ll both probably have nice Christmas's," she said looking towards Sirius, the fireplace casting flickering shadows on his face. Time had gone so quickly. From the first time she looked across the common room to a much smaller Sirius till now where they were sharing a space. From a boy she couldn’t stand to one of her best friends and favorite people.
"I'm nervous about that too."
"Always," Sirius said, "I still hate going to the platform...it still takes a second...” his grey eyes flicked over to hers briefly, as if to check that she was listening still, “I also...get nervous when everything is too happy. Like the rug will be pulled out from under me at any second. Still walking around on eggshells for completely different reasons.”
Lily nodded, knowing all too well what Sirius was talking about. After years of saying no for valid reasons and then some not so valid ones, Lily had finally gone out with James Potter and hadn’t looked back. James was a terrifying sort of beautiful. The kind that was so intense it made Lily take a step back no matter how many steps forward she took. But it also made Lily want to hold onto the intensity for dear life and never let go. She thought he was too good to be true. She was still waiting for the moment he said “nevermind, you’re not what I thought you were” but it had yet to come. Love only grew with James and now in every crowd she reached for his hands to tangle her fingers in, and James didn’t hesitate to find her.
“I’m...really just used to having Christmas dinner end in explosive arguments and...doors slamming. Last year I left early, didn’t even make it through the lamb, I couldn’t stand it and went to a pub down the street...” she admitted, “I’m not sure I’ll even know how to act at a dinner that...is nice? Or be...part of anything that doesn’t end in a bloody disaster? How is it that I ended up with a boyfriend whose family is so...well they sound so lovely? It’s jarring, sometimes.”
“You’re talking to the bloke who’s family used Unforgivable’s at the table, I get it.” Sirius said and Lily laughed softly, assuming he was exaggerating to make her feel better. But Sirius raised an eyebrow.
“Oh, shit, you weren’t joking?” she asked, her eyes widening.
“Why would I joke about that?”
“Because you do... make jokes like that,” She gestured with one of her hands into the air and Sirius just shrugged as means of response, “...They really did...?”
Lily didn’t press further, watching as Sirius’ expression became quite solemn, eyes staring back at the fire as he leaned forward onto his own knees, “I...think I really hate your family.”
“Get in line, Evans.” Sirius cracked a small smile, as he always did when he felt he needed to diffuse a situation. Comfort someone else at the admission of his own wounds. She moved closer to him on the couch, reaching out to grab his hand that was twice the size of her own, hoping he didn’t pull away. “I’m okay.”
“The Potters...James included are the best people I’ve ever met. They’re kind and they care and...it’s honestly alarming sometimes.”
“So what do you do?”
“Embrace it,” Sirius told her, “You...fought for so many years to avoid the James Potter love, and now you have it and you’re still fighting it a bit. I do too sometimes. But...everything is a lot easier if you just...embrace it and let the love happen and stop trying to fight against it. I mean, I don’t think I deserve it most days, but it’s there and...it’s really nice to be loved. Especially now when everything...else is just bitter and hateful....it’s nice to be loved. So...I’m holding onto that. You should too. Let it happen, even if it feels strange...let it happen.”
“You think they’ll like me?”
“What’s not to like?”
“And I’ll let you use my lav to crap yourself in,” he added and Lily laughed.
“Promise me one thing though?”
“If it gets...too cheery...” Sirius laughed, “I’m serious! If it gets too cheery and too...disgustingly happy, promise me that...we can go take a second outside and argue about something stupid or...do a double shot of firewhiskey before continuing to pretend that we’re perfectly bright and shiny people who wear matching Christmas pajamas?”
“We can do that.” Sirius nodded, bringing her hand up and kissing it quickly before leaning back against the couch. Lily joined him, her head against his shoulder as they stared into the fire. “So this...whole...what did you say... shitting your pants business? I think I work the opposite.”
“I’m going to Wales to meet Remus’ family the day after Christmas and I haven’t gone in a week.” Lily immediately started laughing, burying her face into the side of his shoulder, nerves evaporating with the help of Sirius Black, as they always did. A tradition that didn’t start for good reasons turned into one of her favorites, and she hoped it would continue long after Hogwarts. Hoping that even if one day, she left James broken-hearted, Sirius would be there with his easy smile and burnt edges letting her know that everything would turn out okay. If she just let it.
the marauders as songs ive recently listen to
sirius: smells like teen spirit by nirvana
james: power of me by demot kennedy
remus: god must hate me by catie turner
peter: skyfall by adele
regulus: come over again by the crawlers
lily: she by harry styles
marlene: that bitch by bea miller
dorcas: arabella by arctic monkeys
mary: hope ur ok by olivia rodrigo
*playing among us, on a group call*￼
regulus: james is the imposter
peter: how do you know?
regulus: i heard his phone go BOOOOOOOOOM ABBABABA
sirius: oh ok- wait *laughs* why are you with him?
regulus: *no response*
sirius: why are you with him regulus?
regulus: AMONG US IN REAL LIFE
peter: AMONG US IN REAL LIFE
sirius: why. are. you. with. him
remus: *quietly* among us.... in real life....
chapter 8: stupid acid pops / read from the beginning [rated m]
Lily had known she was doomed to fall for James Potter the moment her heart skipped several beats as she watched the lanky dark-haired boy smirking at her from across the prefect’s compartment. When seventh year pairs them as Head Boy and Girl, Lily concludes that fancying Potter is extraordinarily annoying, very poorly timed on her part and regrettably, rather inevitable.
Lily tripped, legs tangling in her sheets as she scrambled out of bed. She’d overslept after a particularly strong dose of Dreamless Sleep potion, and now had only ten minutes to shower, dress and sprint across the castle in the hopes of making it to Defence Against the Dark Arts on time. She cursed her intrusive dreams for making her fear sleep without a potion to dull her imagination. Hot sweat, warmth between her thighs and images of dark tousled hair were easily avoided, but at the price of waking up later and later each morning in a tonic induced fog.
After showering, she checked the clock as she shimmied into her uniform. Hopping across the room to grab her school bag, she fumbled with her socks and shoved her feet into worn leather shoes. Her robes seemed adamant not to slip over her shoulders easily as she thrust her arms through the sleeves and was met with resistance. A frustrated growl left her lips. She tugged on the long strap of her bag in the same instant she grabbed her wand off the table, but was yanked backwards when her bag ended up being far, far heavier than anticipated.
She almost screamed with frustration as she threw her bag down on the edge of her mattress, ready to jettison the contents like it was a sinking ship needing relief. Books and parchment and quills couldn’t rationally be expelled, but she found a bruised apple from yesterday’s lunch and hurled it onto the bed. As she sifted through again, she heard the clink of potions bottles at the bottom of the satchel.
Pulling out the bottles she had confiscated from Rory Lyle, she grimaced. With a quick look over towards her bedside table, she saw empty Pepper Up and Sleeping Potion vials mixed in with a few which were full. She didn’t have time to safely dispose of the noxious substance, but was also quite certain that she didn’t want anyone – not even the Hogwarts elves – seeing that she was still in possession of the Lust potion. Lily opened the second drawer of the side table and shoved the bottles away, wanting them out of sight.
Glancing up, she realised the spread of Dreamless Sleep vials and Pepper Up potions was equally incriminating, and swept them into the open drawer in a hurry. She pushed the drawer closed with a slam, relieved to find her bag far lighter than before. As she sprinted out of her room and along the corridors to her first lesson of the day, she made a mental note to brew herself some more sleeping tonic.
She would have to make some time later that week to tidy and sort her second drawer, parsing out the empty bottles from the full, and the sleeping tonics from the Pepperup vials so that she wouldn't accidentally take a gulp of sleeping potion when attempting to wake herself up in the morning.
A few minutes later, Lily burst through the classroom door in a flurry, running to take her seat in the second row next to her friends and apologising profusely for the interruption her entrance had caused.
Professor Woodhouse promptly docked ten points from Gryffindor for her tardiness. Read more
"Cheer up, Evans. I'm sure next Transfiguration exam you'll score better than me on. It's not easy being perfect." Sirius said with a smirk as they walked out of class.
Lily rolled her eyes. "Its not easy being perfect," she mocked in a perfect imitation of Sirius' accent and inflection, Marlene laughing loudly beside her. James grinned widely, walking backwards through the halls, and Sirius glared at the redhead.
"Mature, really," Lily continued imitating and Remus had started to laugh as well.
"I don't sound like that!"
"I don't sound like that!"
"You kind of do," Remus said, biting down on his lip to cover up a smile.
"I could hardly tell the difference," Marlene added, "Here let me turn around and I'll try to guess who is who." She walked quickly so she was in front of Sirius and Lily, her back facing them.
"Oh, fuck off, McKinnon."
"Oh, fuck off, McKinnon."
"Yeah, has me stumped! Couldn't tell."
"All you need is a leather jacket and a cigarette and youll be set," Peter said and Sirius reached over to shove him.
"Don't forget the brooding far off look," Remus said, "Very important."
"No, this is not going to be a--"
"You're all terrible and can suck on Merlins bullocks." Lily finished, smiling innocently up at Sirius.
"I don't say that."
"Thats all you say," Remus managed through a short chuckle and Sirius shoved him as well, the rest of his friends out of reach and smiling at Lily's impression, agreeing with Remus' comment.
"Do you feel better?" Asked Sirius looking down at Lily, "Proud of yourself?"
"Oh, absolutely. You make it so easy..."
(Because lily is a little sister and sirius is an older brother and they knew all the ways to annoy each other perfectly.)
i wanted to write about it for quite some time already and i actually mentioned this topic before (not that deeply as i'm planning to now) and that made me realise something. still big hp tumblr community believes snape was good. and you have no idea how surprised i was by that (one of the very few good things in hp tiktok is more snape slander comment).
beginning with this shit
the way snape grew up was indeed sad and i do feel sorry for that cause no matter what, no matter fiction or real life, no child should go through so many parents' fights.
but that's not the excuse.
snape is not the only character abused in childhood. the best example is harry and we can see how he turned out. there's also a very important difference between those two.
snape had lily.
i don't like nor really agree on comparing traumas cause everyone goes through those things differently, but we all have to agree that snape had it little better by having this one person that loved him (platonicly) and wanted to help him. this person he could talk to. he had lily, while harry had no one.
snape had his best friend yet turned out to be a death eater while harry who never had anyone in childhood turned out to be an amazing person.
yes, snape had one friend before hogwarts, but not in hogwarts. he was stated to be part of the slytherin boy group aspiring to become death eaters (together with mulciber for example).
snape didn't become a death eater by accident. it was a long process of him changing his views and priorities already at hogwarts. i do believe that the group friend he got himself into might have been partially responsible for changing his views, but it does not justify snape's views.
lily wanted to help me. snape was stated to be getting deeply interested into dark magic already as a teenager and lily noticed it too. she noticed the people he's hanging out with and didn't approve it as she knew what type of people they are. yet she was still there, she cared for him. lily said herself she tried to ignore things he was doing even though others didn't approve it.
yet he called her a mudblood. it isn't a random slur, that's what death eaters called people they mainly wanted to kill. who they believed to be less skilled, unworthy even living. i've seen a lot of people calling lily too sensitive but it wasn't just a word. it was as if he believed her to be worse sort, someone unworthy magic or even living. after all she did for him, after being there for him since before hogwarts.
and i think one of the funniest hypocrisy in hp fandom is how snape's fans bash lily for marrying a bully, yet they forget how back when snape and lily were friends, she confronted him about being friends with mulciber (a literal death eater) who did a nasty thing towards mary macdonald. and snape just said it was a joke.
and i do agree marauders (mainly james and sirius, as this is what we mostly got to see) were bullies towards snape. but snape wasn't any better and even dumbledore himself said this. let's not forget that it was snape who was obsessed with finding out the truth about remus. he wanted them to be expelled. and yes, what sirius did was higly dangerous and stupid, i fully agree, but snape played his part in it too, let's face that. and the damn sectumsempra. a curse for enemies. remus stating it was snape's speciality. we all fucking know he made it for james. both marauders and snape were bullies for each other.
but you know why it's marauders who are more commonly considered better? cause even though we had a very little content of them in canon, at the end of a day they were better people (not counting peter obviously). they joined order of phoenix, stood up against pureblood supremacy, fought against death eaters. james died for his son and wife, all that trying to protect them.
i once saw a good summary. the thing snape and james had in common is that both of them would let james die for lily.
in the same time snape joined death eaters. it was fully his decision. he was a half-blood after all, there wasn't really any pressure for him to join there.
he heard the damn prophecy and gave it to voldemort immediately. and got two families with little babies in danger. and you know what? he didn't give a damn about longbottoms. nor he did for harry and james. all he cared was to save lily. even dumbledore was disgusted by that. he didn't care that lily would be devastated after james and harry's death. he just wanted her. that shows his selfishness. and i think this comes to that line between healthy love and obsession. he didn't care what she wanted, he later said to hide them all cause dumbledore wasn't happy with his previous words.
if longbottoms were targeted instead of potters snape would never resigned from being a death eater and never become a spy. the whole spy persona was just for dumbledore to agree on helping. not that he cared much about changing the views. he regretted being a death eater because he got lily and lily only in trouble, not because of all the bad things he did towards other people.
he didn't change after becoming a spy.
he kept bullying children. he had a great knowledge for potions but all he did on the lessons was writing instructions on the board, without trying to help the students more - while potions are indeed dangerous subject. he kept favoring slytherins by taking away points from gryffindor for all the little things, slytherins never got scolded on the lessons, golden trio would get super long detentions but slytherins only when he really had no choice but to give them. even during the duel between harry and draco in 4th year he was way nicer to draco. he was the only teacher whose newt's class required O (everyone else wanted at least E) and with the way of teaching he made it almost impossible to get to this class. by this he probably ruined some future careers. he bullied neville to the point of being his boggart, all because his parents didn't die, but lily did. he made fun of hermione's physical appearance. screamed at students several times. kept bullying harry only because he looks like his father (cause in fact harry has a lot of lily's personality), which only showed his immaturity.
things he did during the war really don't count. he wouldn't have done them if not for sake of promise to dumbledore. if not for sake of obsession towards lily. jkr herself even stated that if harry wasn't lily's son he would give a fuck about him. let's begin with the fact that he wouldn't have to do anything if he simply didn't tell the prophecy. his fault.
he was the one who told the whole school about remus being werewolf. because he didn't get his order of merlin. due to that, remus again didn't have a job. he was ready to give both sirius and remus to dementors without even knowing the truth and he ignored golden trio trying to explain him that. all for sake of old rivalry, even though remus treated him like a civil. cause despite remus having flaws too, at least he grew up from the teenage rivalry. unlike some others.
oh, and i've seen people saying that he was rude cause he was a spy and he had to. well, no. rationally looking at this, he would make a better spy if he acted nice towards student. i can assure you if students were asked who out of teachers is most likely to be a death eater everyone would pick snape. honestly from his behaviour since beginning of the book it was obvious he did work with voldemort. anyone who thought of this rationally knew that, golden trio literally suspected that since 1st year before the knew he was a death eater. if he acted nice then he would make people surprised by joining voldemort after killing dumbledore. it's not like he was rude for spy's job, he was just overally rude.
as much as i love alan rickman, the movies changed snape's character much. they made him so stoic all the time while in canon he had some severe anger issues problem (even fudge stated that in poa). not to mention how they cut off a lot of moments of him being an absolute asshole.
i hate him with passion, i'm glad he's dead and i'm just crying over the fact what's albus' second name. i see what jkr's intentions were but she should have given snape a redemption in order to make this work. but she didn't. snape had no redemption, he never regretted things he did to people other than lily. he wasn't a grey character, he was just a bad character who later worked on a good side for sake of obsession after dead love and promise he made to an old guy
waiting for snape's fans to come at me again ✌🏻
so apparently these snapeists are using the wrong tags and i'm getting their bullshit in my feed and i saw something where people were hating on... wolfstar?
THE FUCK? So apparently these utter losers (i've tried to be civil, but these characters are practically the reason i'm still alive right now, or i would've been gone a long time ago)
are obsessed with Snape, hate the marauders, but still feel like they have a right to comment on ATYD and such? What? You hate Jegulus, you hate Wolfstar, you hate Lily Evans, you hate James Potter, okay, but WHO ASKED YOU? Why are you so obsessed with the Marauders fanfictions? Read some fanfiction about your toxic ass greaseball and leave us to it, please?
James IS a romantic
i started making playlist for myself as a way of having a laugh at the titles and the songs in them. i made a 5sos playlist, then several reading playlists, then a sad one, a playlist to listen when i’m cleaning, and more.
when i did my “music the marauders would listen if they were in their twenties in 2021” playlist ppl started liking i guess?? and now it has like 10 followers.
so i guess this is me putting myself out there and making my work(?) public.
includes olivia rodrigo, abba, high school musical, my chemical romance and more.
where i assign remus, henry and/or harry a song. includes adele, 5sos, taylor swift and phoebe bridgers.
ghost of you is a remus and harry song and this is me trying is for the three of them.
3. this is just me going through my annual holiday blues and in need of my favorite music for comfort.
includes mitski, 5sos, harry styles and the gals in the pfp.
harry potter stan
mostly fixated on marauders era (remus fav character)
lily evans and remus kin
hermione and ginny kin (but i'm a feminist 😋)
harry n george r my hp crushes (golden era)
remus is my marauders era crush
I don't hate draco but i'm anti jkr n felton
black panther & peter parker fav characters!!! wanda and shang-chi are technically really super close to the favorites too but im always super indecisive
technically not marvel but its already marvel related by now, Andrew Garfield is my favorite peter and spidey
i kin nat? apparently
wandavision is my favorite show while black panther fav movie
team nat. closer to cap tho but i agree w tony in some points, just think he went to far with some but also kinda dislike caps approach
wanda and sam are like the decreasing rope that's keeping me closer to team cap
thats all I think bye love u
Image Sirius Black’s face when he finds out Lily Evans favourite flowers aren't lilys’.
The lily kinnie urge to open a flower shop and a bookstore and become a nerd with red hair and green eyes.
Lily trying to figure the secret from James and the marauders out.
James drunk: I am dating Sirius‘s brother
James: Remus is ok with it but we can‘t tell Sirius.
Lily: Not THAT secret… the OTHER secret
James: I like boys-
Lil: Damn it James!
It's time for James and Rosalie to meet...
“Don’t I know you from somewhere?”
This happened far more than she liked. When she’d arrived in London, she’d been anonymous, just the way she preferred it. Within a week of starting her job, she’d found she couldn’t go anywhere in Diagon Alley, not even the most reputable of establishments, without someone glancing her way, the light of recognition dawning on their face.
Oh, they thought. It’s you.
Read on AO3 -- FFN.
Read from the beginning.